Thanks so much for doing this. Your honesty about the anorexia is fantastic. my doctor didn't study it, but we were doing IFS therapy for DID and he wanted to understand it. He explained to me that he felt a 'high' when he had been in the military and had to over push himself on no food and did that sound familiar - I was so relieved that he made the effort to understand without judgement. It is such a hard thing - i'm horrified when i go to the dentist and then have to limit what i eat after - it actually enrages me to get close to that danger again. By the way I am so happy to hear that you are still happy with your decision for the top surgery - you still sound more confident. At 21 min -I so love and agree with your attitude of living with DID; i recently pulled out of an online group because everyone was so negative and wanted to know how to kill their alters - which just horrified me. I am so grateful that all the ones saved me, and gave us new skills to use. Your explanation of depersonalization was very good; i've never been able to explain it , it is having the thought that requires a new language and my doctor was really great and even he said it was a difficult thing to explain.
Generally I find that there are no direct benefits to having depression, anxiety, ocd, ptsd, but I think are indirect ones. Having gone through all the stuff I have gone through has changed me as a person, and I think it has made me a better person which has helped me to change a lot of people's lives. Given the choice I wouldn't choose to have these conditions, but I am thankful that my suffering wasn't entirely for nothing, in that I helped out other people.
funny video, we like 👍 we personally would probably put our DID way lower than s tier lol, but also it is an objectively funny disorder like wdym i got traumatised so hard as a toddler that when high school got stressful, some part of me started believing it's a character from some shit manga i read to escape reality for a bit? like that's extremely funny 💀
Thank you for the video. I agree that it is a "fun" (as much as possible) way to think about and talk about mental health struggles oneself experiences. We have a couple of these (self dx) and a couple diagnosed, so it was actually really relatable and "fun" to consider what we agree with or where our experiences might differ. Very interesting and (as much as possible) "light hearted" way of giving food for thoughts.
I think being autistic and having social anxiety (disorder) are not mutually in/exclusive. I am autistic, but I do not think of myself as having social anxiety. I'm not *nervous* or *anxious* in human interactions, I am *overwhelmed* . There's so much micro managing going on in my mind, reading and interpreting social clues by referencing media I've seen, trying to predict the development of the conversation, picking out what social protocol to follow at any given moment, getting totally blindsided when my conversation partner *doesn't follow the protocol* 💀 It is so much and so tiring, and I tend to avoid talking to people I don't know well enough to predict. The only situations I get legitimately *anxious* is when my conversation partner is in a position of power over me, and could legitimately mess up my life if I say the wrong thing. ... so yeah, tldr, percieving yourself to have social anxiety on top of being autistic is valid. Congrats to your autism and DID for making your brain a vibrant place in the former's case, and in the latter's, keeping you safe and getting you through it. Brains in all their diversity and flexibility are wonderful organs, even if sometimes they come with drawbacks. (on my personal brain tier list, autism would go in S tier, and on the lowest tier would be psychotic episodes. They are one wild ride I do *not* recommend.)
Interesting fact .photo of the soldier wasnt oryginally meant to represent PTSD but too represent shell shock witch is exactly the same with one big diffrence . Shell shock heals on it own in less then year from ending of traumatic things
Shell Shock was a term used for post-traumatic responses in war veterans before PTSD was coined, since PTSD was first added to the DSM-III in 1980 and the term only proposed a few years earlier. Shell Shock didn't necessarily heal on its own from my research. Chronic shell shock was a thing, but would today be labeled PTSD since shell shock doesn't exist as a diagnostic term anymore and hasn't since WW1, I believe The painting of "The Two-Thousand Yard Stare" was the artist drawing what he saw with his own eyes as a war correspondent during WW2. As far as I know, he didn't attempt to draw a diagnosis in specific, but just drew what he witnessed - which would have been shell shock or PTSD. "Thousand Yard Stare" was/is a term used to describe the look of dissociation in the eyes of traumatised war veterans
I have a question, though feel free not to answer if this is not something you are comfortable speaking about. We are also an AuDHD DID system, and I as the host am transmasc nonbinary and have massive physical dysphoria. We have alters with all different gender identities. I know that some aspects of medical transition would be immensely helpful to me, but I also don't want to cause the cisfeminine system members dysphoria, and we as a system are not quite sure how to move forward. What was your thought process for pursuing medical transition despite having female alters in your system?
I think most of the girl alters don’t care that much except for Ginger. She already didn’t identify a ton with the physical appearance of the body, especially because I made the choices with the hair and stuff as the host. Since I am the alters in charge of everyday life, if I had dysphoria all the time from other member’s changing our appearance, that would make it a lot harder for me to do my job. I would be attracting romantic partners who liked me only as a girl, my job and academic settings where I pursue what I love would see me as something I’m not, and I hate being misunderstood. Before we found out we had DID, it was the wild west. Anybody did whatever they wanted with our body if they felt like it while they were out. So we cycled between different alter’s hair etc. I think the discomfort of not transitioning was something Ginger recognized as super painful for me, and she, the amazing person she is, wanted me to do it for myself. We’re still trying to find balance and compare the pros and cons of having a ‘host makes the body decisions’ and ‘everyone has a happy compromise in appearance’. I’ve been so focused on being a normal person the past couple of years that I’ve lost sight of the fact that maybe more of a medium would be better, since Ginger is seeming happier with our body now that we’re off T. She’s figured some stuff out. She bought a padded brassiere (i still hate saying the word), and also some voice training. She of course has wigs. But maybe I should really start considering other members of our head committee more. We really need to have a meeting. - L
Is it just a UK thing that we don't get diagnosed more than once with things? I've seen people talk about having several of the same diagnosis before but I've never known anyone from the UK to have that, only America and maybe Canada
I don’t know how it works in the UK, but we get diagnosed so insurance can see what we have so they will cover it. So a lot of professionals will just diagnose you with something you’ve already been diagnosed with. Like every time I get a new therapist, they have to diagnose me with something to show insurance companies that therapy is necessary. A lot of therapists will just put depression because it’s easy, more obvious, and carries less stigma. Hence why I have so many depression diagnosis. But some therapists will be extra and diagnose you with everything they think you have anyway. For the gender dysphoria diagnosis, I had to have a letter with a diagnosis from one therapist and one psychiatrist or psychologist in order to get top surgery. To get my name changed, I had to get another letter from a therapist. And every time I saw a different person to get my testosterone, they diagnosed me with it as well for insurance. Even my primary care did. Basically, insurance.
Thanks so much for doing this. Your honesty about the anorexia is fantastic. my doctor didn't study it, but we were doing IFS therapy for DID and he wanted to understand it. He explained to me that he felt a 'high' when he had been in the military and had to over push himself on no food and did that sound familiar - I was so relieved that he made the effort to understand without judgement. It is such a hard thing - i'm horrified when i go to the dentist and then have to limit what i eat after - it actually enrages me to get close to that danger again. By the way I am so happy to hear that you are still happy with your decision for the top surgery - you still sound more confident. At 21 min -I so love and agree with your attitude of living with DID; i recently pulled out of an online group because everyone was so negative and wanted to know how to kill their alters - which just horrified me. I am so grateful that all the ones saved me, and gave us new skills to use. Your explanation of depersonalization was very good; i've never been able to explain it , it is having the thought that requires a new language and my doctor was really great and even he said it was a difficult thing to explain.
Generally I find that there are no direct benefits to having depression, anxiety, ocd, ptsd, but I think are indirect ones. Having gone through all the stuff I have gone through has changed me as a person, and I think it has made me a better person which has helped me to change a lot of people's lives. Given the choice I wouldn't choose to have these conditions, but I am thankful that my suffering wasn't entirely for nothing, in that I helped out other people.
funny video, we like 👍
we personally would probably put our DID way lower than s tier lol, but also it is an objectively funny disorder like wdym i got traumatised so hard as a toddler that when high school got stressful, some part of me started believing it's a character from some shit manga i read to escape reality for a bit? like that's extremely funny 💀
omg that is so true, like i literally got so stressed as a small child that a little bear took over my body, like what 😭
@@magesystem i mean, you're alive so ig it worked having a little bear taking over your body 💪 shout out to the little bear
LET'S GOOOOOO
Thank you for the video. I agree that it is a "fun" (as much as possible) way to think about and talk about mental health struggles oneself experiences.
We have a couple of these (self dx) and a couple diagnosed, so it was actually really relatable and "fun" to consider what we agree with or where our experiences might differ.
Very interesting and (as much as possible) "light hearted" way of giving food for thoughts.
I think being autistic and having social anxiety (disorder) are not mutually in/exclusive. I am autistic, but I do not think of myself as having social anxiety. I'm not *nervous* or *anxious* in human interactions, I am *overwhelmed* . There's so much micro managing going on in my mind, reading and interpreting social clues by referencing media I've seen, trying to predict the development of the conversation, picking out what social protocol to follow at any given moment, getting totally blindsided when my conversation partner *doesn't follow the protocol* 💀 It is so much and so tiring, and I tend to avoid talking to people I don't know well enough to predict. The only situations I get legitimately *anxious* is when my conversation partner is in a position of power over me, and could legitimately mess up my life if I say the wrong thing.
... so yeah, tldr, percieving yourself to have social anxiety on top of being autistic is valid.
Congrats to your autism and DID for making your brain a vibrant place in the former's case, and in the latter's, keeping you safe and getting you through it. Brains in all their diversity and flexibility are wonderful organs, even if sometimes they come with drawbacks.
(on my personal brain tier list, autism would go in S tier, and on the lowest tier would be psychotic episodes. They are one wild ride I do *not* recommend.)
Interesting fact .photo of the soldier wasnt oryginally meant to represent PTSD but too represent shell shock witch is exactly the same with one big diffrence . Shell shock heals on it own in less then year from ending of traumatic things
Shell Shock was a term used for post-traumatic responses in war veterans before PTSD was coined, since PTSD was first added to the DSM-III in 1980 and the term only proposed a few years earlier. Shell Shock didn't necessarily heal on its own from my research. Chronic shell shock was a thing, but would today be labeled PTSD since shell shock doesn't exist as a diagnostic term anymore and hasn't since WW1, I believe
The painting of "The Two-Thousand Yard Stare" was the artist drawing what he saw with his own eyes as a war correspondent during WW2. As far as I know, he didn't attempt to draw a diagnosis in specific, but just drew what he witnessed - which would have been shell shock or PTSD. "Thousand Yard Stare" was/is a term used to describe the look of dissociation in the eyes of traumatised war veterans
with that context, the painting is even more emotional. that’s such a great display of what PTSD (or shell shock) is like sometimes
Your actually so funny 😭
So relatable…
❤❤❤
*the little burp* 😂
Thank you for being real about sh..t 😊
I have a question, though feel free not to answer if this is not something you are comfortable speaking about. We are also an AuDHD DID system, and I as the host am transmasc nonbinary and have massive physical dysphoria. We have alters with all different gender identities. I know that some aspects of medical transition would be immensely helpful to me, but I also don't want to cause the cisfeminine system members dysphoria, and we as a system are not quite sure how to move forward. What was your thought process for pursuing medical transition despite having female alters in your system?
I think most of the girl alters don’t care that much except for Ginger. She already didn’t identify a ton with the physical appearance of the body, especially because I made the choices with the hair and stuff as the host. Since I am the alters in charge of everyday life, if I had dysphoria all the time from other member’s changing our appearance, that would make it a lot harder for me to do my job. I would be attracting romantic partners who liked me only as a girl, my job and academic settings where I pursue what I love would see me as something I’m not, and I hate being misunderstood.
Before we found out we had DID, it was the wild west. Anybody did whatever they wanted with our body if they felt like it while they were out. So we cycled between different alter’s hair etc.
I think the discomfort of not transitioning was something Ginger recognized as super painful for me, and she, the amazing person she is, wanted me to do it for myself.
We’re still trying to find balance and compare the pros and cons of having a ‘host makes the body decisions’ and ‘everyone has a happy compromise in appearance’. I’ve been so focused on being a normal person the past couple of years that I’ve lost sight of the fact that maybe more of a medium would be better, since Ginger is seeming happier with our body now that we’re off T.
She’s figured some stuff out. She bought a padded brassiere (i still hate saying the word), and also some voice training. She of course has wigs. But maybe I should really start considering other members of our head committee more. We really need to have a meeting.
- L
Is it just a UK thing that we don't get diagnosed more than once with things? I've seen people talk about having several of the same diagnosis before but I've never known anyone from the UK to have that, only America and maybe Canada
I don’t know how it works in the UK, but we get diagnosed so insurance can see what we have so they will cover it. So a lot of professionals will just diagnose you with something you’ve already been diagnosed with.
Like every time I get a new therapist, they have to diagnose me with something to show insurance companies that therapy is necessary. A lot of therapists will just put depression because it’s easy, more obvious, and carries less stigma. Hence why I have so many depression diagnosis. But some therapists will be extra and diagnose you with everything they think you have anyway.
For the gender dysphoria diagnosis, I had to have a letter with a diagnosis from one therapist and one psychiatrist or psychologist in order to get top surgery. To get my name changed, I had to get another letter from a therapist. And every time I saw a different person to get my testosterone, they diagnosed me with it as well for insurance. Even my primary care did.
Basically, insurance.
@@magesystem Ohhh that makes sense, thanks for replying
omg.. feeling I am not real.. I hate this so so so much.