Yes! In addition, take care of your gut health and nutritional habits so "trusting your gut" is easier. Can't detect BS when you're full of it yourself lol.
Why do women ignore red flags??? Because 99.99% of men have red flags. You just would be alone with your cat if you did not ignore the red flags. LOL Looking for a good man is like looking for a unicorn.
Portia dating and marrying her friend/acquaintance's husband was the biggest red flag. Both Reesa and Portia got caught up because their bills were getting paid. Men with money still need to be vetted...
I’ve been single my entire life and I’m in my mid 20s. I tried dating seriously once and it was ugly. Still never slept with no one, I used to be ashamed and felt like I wasted my “golden years”. However, the older I get the more I learn this is what’s best for me mentally, physically and emotionally. The way things are looking like now in the dating scene, being single seems like it might save your life. Literally and figuratively.
@extrashotofespresso_ I'm 22, and also have been single my entire life. The most criticism I get is from the most insecure people. They keep saying I "need d*ck and I need to get a man" as if I wanna be in the same cheating disrespectful relationships they are in.
I just left a relationship just like this. I fell for the fairytale that turned out to be a nightmare, until I reached my breaking point. I made my mistakes, but my intuition was strong enough to stop me from making certain permanent decisions that he was asking of me. I'm hurting from heart break, but I thank God that it wasn't worse than how it could've been.
Why do you think you didn't leave earlier? Do you think we have a fear spirit when dating men? Sort of like, if i don't accept him I will not be able to get a man.
After 4 months of dating this african man lied to me and fess up that he has 3 kids with 3 women and 2 of them were pregnant at the same time. He's on a student visa and pressing me to marry him before he graduates. He told me...," well my heart is clean now, I am happy now that I am a christian" I said r u serious, why tell me now and lie about it, he said "I want to make sure you're not scamming me" ughhh I'm just tired of men they are evil and demons
Yup it didn’t work out for my mom so I grew up with no father figure after age 6. Nigerian men like to use multiple identities which results in getting deported like my father
Yeah. I have a man who is Algerian who I told I didnt want to talk to anymore after we made conversation for a while. He cannot come to America to visit me. So, i said we should probably end our contact about being together. I’m not marrying a man and giving him a green card. I dont care how sweet, kind, loving he is. If he cannot get to America on his own, we have no business being in communication.
But I feel like Reesa would've still taken that dusty in even if he didn't pay the bills since a lot of bw who are independent usually still act out in desperation to keep a man (remember when she said she was alone and lonely in her house, that's why she took him in...which means even if she knew he was broke she still would've taken him in) Reesa had the desperation for marriage and companionship more than a man who can provide
Yep. Research says this that women focus on status. We has to remove that attachment to putting wife as a better type of woman than any woman on this planet. That's the problem. These "wives" prove as another example that being a wife is not security
You made so many great points. The one that resonated the most was how we almost approve of black women struggling vs winning. Personally it feels like we can’t have anything without comments about what we should or shouldn’t want/feel. It’s really sad. As for the situations all of these women have been in Im not going to judge as if all of my relationships have been perfect. I wish them well.
Fear. Fear of being alone and lonely ... I've put up with my fair share of BS in hopes of keeping a man ... when Reesa said, "I just wanted it to be my turn." I understood that deeply!!!! Black women, in particular, are pressured to stay in unsavory situations... "hold him down" I agree with you completely ❤
I’m really glad that you pointed out how black women like to trauma bond over struggle because that especially is why it can be hard to find black spaces online that aren’t filled with negativity. It’s a constant barrage of negativity and self-pity. I get it because being black can be hard and it’s nice to share similar experiences but do we really need to constantly remind ourselves how “unattractive” we are and how “no one wants us” and how racist everything is? 😅
Thank you! I don't know how to discuss this with the black women I know but I find myself unfollowing and distancing myself from more and more black spaces online and offline because of this. We deserve to have positive spaces and reinforcements and flourish in life without having to be weighed down by endless fixation over random people don't like us or why we should feel bad about XYZ. Even the black men vs black women discussions are a way of tethering black women to suffering and too many of us are very happy to stay tethered for some reason. I have purposely removed myself from most black American spaces and even moved outside of the US. I still associate with a lot of Black people, but decentering the American racial context does wonders.
@@utamu777 Same here! Constantly focusing on the negative is not helpful or productive and it’s a shame that black women aren’t allowed to simply exist as we are.
@@utamu777you’re so real for this. I aspire to live abroad and I don’t really plan to come back. Still need to figure out sources of income to set this life up though
But people call us bitter and haters when we tell these women that you can't marry a mam you just met a month ago (like the married in 30 days lady on tiktok)...it's almost guaranteeing disaster
Does anyone else remember when a ww named Liv Siddal got triggered over Paula Sutton and her, Hill House luxurious lifestyle? It's different when people can't feel superior or sorry for someone.
A good rule of thumb ladies if that a man has money but also has an excessive amount of time to lay up with you and go on trips and is not even constantly on his phone/laptop working, be suspicious. Rich men work 60-70 hrs per week minimum. Unless they sold a company or is older and retired.
Reesa could have avoided this situation with a con artist if she had simply asked herself some critical questions when she met him. How many wealthy black men with offshore accounts and enough money to pay cash for a 90,000 dollar car and 900,000 dollar home are with women who look like me? I have a decent job and stable housing. Could he possibly have ulterior motives for wanting to fast forward this relationship? Bottom line, he saw her coming. He sniffed out her desperation and used her for as long as she allowed. Unpopular opinion, but let's get out of our feelings just try to be objective.
Chrissie: Porsha is putting lifestyle over common sense. Porsha’s common sense: Somebody had to be driving the train for the underground railroad. Chrissie, girl…Porsha doesn’t have any sense 🫠😂🤣
When it comes to men women loose all common sense I have had friends cut their friendship with me because I saw red flags with their men They will say you are jealous or mind your own business 😂
Red flags don't just apply to romantic relationships, they apply to friendships as well. Personally, i avoid women like that like the plague because they will drag you down with them one way or another.
I was low key ridiculed (not to my face cause that would take guts lol) about my non black spouse. Im now 10 years plus strong with a great partner in life while all of people are either divorced, miserable and still chasing the devil.
You know Chrissie I'm glad youre talking about this because I couldve been in that situation simple on the fact that he could give me a better life while im in college working for that better life, financially I mean..(Then again, he was stingy, so again, I was taking a gamble), and sometimes I think.. "damn that suburban house and life is looking REAL good right about now," so I get it.. but women have to ask themselves mentally, is it worth it? Or even long term?
Reesa Teesa worked at a police department and never had the desire to look into Legion? Or her coworkers? F outta here. Its like she went out of her way to not find out what she already knew!!!!!
12:17 I swear whenever something good about Black women goes viral, it ends quick or people try to end it...look at how everybody is against the Black girl luxury trend all of a sudden (a gay man made a whole video on why it's old and ending, which went viral🤦🏾♀️)..and also the Black Girl Follow Train trend that had white women frothing in the mouth over, also ended in less than a month...And the hypergamy advices that trend on sm encouraging black women to date and marry up, also got criticised by black people the most with people trying to force us to marry for "love", which slowly worked because gen z black girls are also speaking against hypergamy on sm. We can never get any good promo without complaints or it ending quick and forgotten later....
Gen Z will struggle with hypergamy because it requires an innate amount of self control and self responsibility. You cannot be hypergamous by accident. It requires girls to take accountability and live with intentionality. That means you must plan where and who you spend your time with. You must be able to learn new soft skills that equip you to understand yourself. It requires a hefty amount of effort. Gurlies are lazy and do not like effort. That is why they start to backtrack.
@@millieconsultancy I don’t think this is true. GenZ black women are set up to make more money, start more businesses, and gain more education than our predecessors. That’s not lazy. GenZ women are chronically online - constantly bombarded with propaganda. They don’t know up from down because they’re getting TOO MUCH information online and advice from content creators. There’s no way to know who really “has it like that” and whose advice has more weight. We have people trying to undermine legitimate educators, scholars and proven academics in favor of podcasters and “soft life” content creators. That’s a huge problem. The average black woman under 30 may not have successful women to look up to or ask for advice. So misinformation online can derail a lot of women who genuinely seek guidance. I’ve unplugged from social media altogether - I only have YT for that reason.
Think about why. BW birth the BC, and if they don't like seeing us progressing, there's a reason. The BC globally is seen as a catch-all, take-all community. If we decide as women to have standards, certain folks can't just come take what they want, nor will we continue to keep breeding their lower class. It is not lost on me that there's a competition mindset as well, and especially from certain non-BW when it comes to us slowly deciding to date out. It's also not lost on me that BM are a huge part of the problem. This can't be done without their contributions with these demeaning podcasts about BW...
Reesa did one thing that let me listen to her story and really take it in not treat it like a joke or entertainment [Accountability] other than that I wouldn't have even listened to it. Chrissie thanks for sharing your point of view I was curious if you were going to talk about it. ❤
Unpopular opinion: I feel like Reesa should have kept that L of a marriage to herself. I cannot fathom why people go on Social Media to discuss their personal lives because now every where she goes, she’ll be associated with this situation. She was better off discussing with a therapist. I just can’t stand the inclination of sharing struggles and trauma bonding with strangers. I feel like the cons outweigh the potential monetization of sharing said story. Like Chrissie mentioned, we’ve all made dating missteps, myself included, but there’s something to be said about making a 50 part series for the world to digest as their entertainment. This is not going to bode well for her in the long term I’m afraid.
@@Lola-qy9yt Maybe she has not yet made "a lot of money", but she's already received enough money from her go fund me to book her trip to London. She definitely monetized her "trauma".
By revealing this she will attract legion 2.0. She monetized her trauma, but now super predators are lurking. Most men don’t treat you better than how they’ve known other men to treat you. Which is why it’s never a good idea to share your traumas with men… and she told the entire world.
She made money, but how much? According to Ressa she made ZERO from Tiktok. Will this money be enough to erase the fact she's the new face of Black women's struggle for the time being. Is that the new Hussle now?
Im married and I’ve been cultivating our couples circle, which my husband didn’t like at first, but love now since it’s helped him socially and to network. Im also cultivating my feminine hypergamy friendships Fashion Week just ended for New York (it moves to Paris Japan etc.,) and am going to the Hamptons in April with just my girlfriends free of charge (her weekend home). I’m gearing up to go back to work in a cushy position, because now I know it’s about WHO you know. And last year being able to make six figures part time really, really proves that wealth whispers, how unfair the system is and how fully black girlies are pushed out at every step of the way from the soft life, comfortable stress free homes and luxury.
The easiest way to network is through sports and exercise@@yourlittlesecret7575 Once you get there you then have to have a asset value you can exchange. This is the area women fall down in. First focus on your asset value. Create a skillset within yourself. Do you have a charity that specialises in dyslexia/adhd/cancer in children/ Something that says hmmm I need to keep this girl on my radar. Women tend to think being pretty and fun is the Asset value. That is the Network experience. But you need an asset. It could be she teaches private Yoga class. She is a financial advisor on the side. She is a tennis coach recruiter. She is a college specialist. Networking: 1. Create your ASSET VALUE 2. ATTEND NETWORKING EVENTS 3. Develop the NETWORKING EXPERIENCE (i,e Your persona) -Calm, -Non judgemental - Polite (not nice) -Respectful -Time Keeping Then repeat all of that until you meet your network. It can take at least two years, so be patient. It's often easier for married women because they gravitate towards each other more. But as a single girl the other trick is not to limit yourself with age. You might meet an older woman in her 60s who connects with you. Then you find out he husband owns the whole town (lol)- So do not not age shame. Be open.
I'm a hypergamous Christian black woman. Just like you said, Chrissie, I dislike hearing people use these stories to discourage black women from being hypergamous and trying to act like we feel like money is all that matters. Even the sugar babies and esc0rt$ talk about how a man's generosity is more important than his finances (which are extremely important as well). But they're ignoring this fact.
Reesa’s situation proved everything you have been saying about vetting Chrissie. Quick Google searches could have invalidated 80% of what this man told her, but the desperation stopped her from doing any research. It just goes to show that when people say “men cant be vetted, it’s impossible” what they mean is “i refuse to vet him if i really really want him” Also can we all do a collective laugh at the people saying that reesa’s ex is in any way an example of marrying for money?? 😂 This man was paying a 900$ rent 😂 Ive never even seen a 900$ rent in my whole entire life. Thats less than my husband’s truck car note. Some of these people remind me of that Quinta Brunson skit when the dude at the movie theater was ordering popcorn and skittles and she was like “oooo you’re a baller!!” Don’t get me wrong, I came from humble beginnings, so im not hating. but im laughing at the feminist content creators acting like he’s the kind of man of means that certain hypergamy spaces talk about. Even the most ruthless hypergamy girls that completely ignore character arent out here telling you to do it for 900$ 😂 please be serious. Everything you said is spot on Chrissie, character AND success are ESSENTIAL. I wouldnt stop being single for anything less than good character and success
I want the same women who came out against “black women in luxury” representation to speak against “struggle love story time” representation. But they won’t. They’re triggered by seeing stories about black women living well, but they’re perfectly fine with an over abundance of black struggle love stories. Somehow they think “black women deserve more than luxury” but they dont think “black women deserve more than struggle love” 😂😂😂😂 I even saw one of the detractors of black women in luxury DEFENDING Jonathan Biles (Simone Biles dustband) when he embarrassed Simone. Because to them, struggle love and lack of attraction is 100% fine. It’s normal and even encouraged for a legend like Simone to be with a man who has a luke warm attraction. But luxury is where they draw the line. Fine dining and vacations are where they draw the line 😂 I hate it here smdh 🤦🏽♀️
Also y’all please get to know these men, so many relationships fail because y’all don’t get to know each other and don’t even really talk to each other unless it has to do with kids, sex, and bills. If your partner isn’t your friend and y’all can’t show who you are to them without feeling weird or can’t have a conversation about your favorite movie then it’s not a real relationship
We need to start expanding on communication skills. There is something in communication we call the "technique". Men are amazing at camouflaging. They become your friend very easily hence why they are able to manipulate the woman. Women need to learn the technique in getting to know his true self. Sadly when you practice the "technique", men will start acting erratic and switch on you . Because the "technique" is a style of communication engagement that doesn't allow the man to hide. A lot of these partners show themselves to be a friend, by doing everything you stated 🙂
They analyse you based on social profiles and past normalities. A lot of their behaviour is assumption@@Uniquaization So majority of the time when you start dating them you have to impose your standards from hello and keep reinforcing to change his behaviour. They are trying to work you out and see your weakness.
I always say to start out seeing if you're compatible as friends first, because if you don't have a strong foundation of friendship then you're not likely to be compatible as anything more than that
What is the technique? When I was single I think I may have practiced this without even realising. Some men would say a lot of words to me without really communicating the basics. So I’d be really direct and ask them questions about their life, work experience, past relationships. I could see men didn’t like it.
thanks chrissie. i was waiting for you. theres 2 other stories that went viral along with this. "the lies he told" is one of them and the other is about a woman who tried to play step mom and it didnt work out. again Christianity played a part in both stories
Over the years I’ve learned the patterns and realized that I can’t control other folks behavior, but I can set boundaries and standards for myself and hold them. That’s the key to vetting for me. I don’t have to be a detective and find out exactly why a man never wants to actually go out. I just need to be clear that “Can I roll through?” And “WYD?” texts are not dating as I care to engage in it and consistently refuse to engage even if it means staying by myself. If we’re honest, these stories end with the woman by herself anyway and at a deficit in some other way too usually. The end result is the same, so why let desperation creep in and convince you to bring all that suffering on yourself in addition?
But Chrissie... "Only gawdt can judge me!" And... "I's married now!" Oh, and my favorite... "You just JEALOUS that you ain't got a man and I DO, Savannah!" Funny but so sad and destructive. And if they have kids on top of that it sends a very wrong message FOR LIFE.
I was waiting for Chrissie's take on these stories! Both Ressa & Porsha were chasing a fantasy. They married these men because they thought they could provide them with a more lavish lifestyle than they could afford on their own. Both knew these men were shady & chose to ignore it.
Crazy part is some women specifically bw will notice red flags in a friendship or will be quick to cut it off over something trivial but will be blind when it comes to a relationship and take the same dude back time and time again
They see the red flags and ignore them, because they want to be able to say they have a man, knowing that he’s not fully a man. That’s why I will continue to stay single, until I know I’m fully respected.
Please don’t take my message the wrong way because I honestly want SO MUCH more for us. I loss a lot of respect for Porsha when she got with Simon and even though Reesa admitted her desperation, I couldn’t stomach watching all 50 parts. After so long, I can’t keep blaming the men, I blame the women/us.
Agreed. I did watch the entire series, but it was frustrating as hell after a while listening to her continue to explain one stupid decision after another. As Chrissie said, it will be interesting to see how this plays out for her in the future. She may get a few coins, but will it really improve her overall quality of life in the end?
But when will we ever get love. Aren't we deserving. Why can't we just get loved on by healthy men. Why do we have to revert to loving ourselves bc these men are incapable I crave love so bad and it sucks I have to learn to live alone. What woman wants that like really
Chrissie has HAD IT with BW cheering on the negative promotion and optics. She’s been sounding the alarm for YEARS. She’s like - I don’t know what else to tell you BW.
Chrissie I was waiting on your commentary!! Porsha thought she snagged a prize. I knew that Porsha's marriage wouldn't last. From what I understand, Simon has several ex wives. That's a major reason why she shouldn't have married him. Reesa definitely ignored several large red flags. She continued to ignore and override her intuition. Both Porsha and Reesa are cautionary tales that could've been prevented. I hope we all learn to slow down and vet men better.
Agreed, it was obvious to me that Porsha and that man would not work because he had 3 ex wives, jumped into an engagement with her and he just didn’t give off wealthy established man vibes. My intuition was tell me that man was off. Porsha was desperate for a marriage and would accept it from any man who had money and ready to marry her. Reesa.. desperation is a messed up thing.
He was married 3 times before. Yep and he was a cheater with his last wife and they say she started cheating right back. Porsha tried and failed on this one
I always say desperation will cause you to allow the devil himself into your life and home and it will be HELL to pay to get them out! Knowing this before you go into a relationship, you have to ask yourself when the red flags wave, will I survive the hell that he's going to drag me through. I'm here to say it's not worth the risk so when you see those red flags RUN FAST, RUN HARD AND RUN FAR AWAY !!!
I just got out of a relationship of 3 years. It was my first serious relationship . I was in my mid 20s. It took me a second but I am happy I saw the red flags. I also think our 10 year age gap played a factor. I knew when I started growing in resentment due to his controlling attitude I mentally checked out of the relationship for a year and a half. Now I am at peace! I am not with the struggle love.
I saw a woman over 40 on tiktok counting the days of no contact after a breakup and crying on her sofa. The young girls in the comments were saying “it’s going to be ok auntie”. We have to stop selling our trauma for profit. It’s getting ridiculous. Other groups of women are viewing this material and laughing at it. It’s entertaining to them but it’s our image that we sacrifice for their entertainment.
Thank you for doing such a great job highlighting areas that single women like myself can learn and improve in. I could definitely relate to ReeseTessa's story. I survived my own version of Legion 2.0. Although no one deserves to be abused, I must admit and be accountable for my role in the matter. I was in my late 30's about to turn 40 and I was desperate to have a man in my life and to have more children so much so I didn't vet at all and I was very trusting. I am so glad that I woke up and got away! 💨
I’m almost done but it’s not fake. There have been people from Legion’s family that verified her story and outed him specifically as the story took off.
I’m literally on part 23 but I knewwww you would come through. Hearing everything that happened was insane because he was tweaking but somehow they still got married 😭😭 he is hideous but bc he’s 6’5 he’s made it this far 🥴🥴
If you’re a woman who desires marriage start building towards that now. Start working on yourself now. The more you value yourself the harder it is to be fazed by bs. And if you’re a woman of faith, trust in the Lord to bring who he has for you and sit down somewhere. He don’t need your help 😅
Love is an emotion that is not logical. When a woman or man is in a state of desperation and extreme loneliness it’s very easy to ignore red flags. Perhaps we do see this more with women than men because women are more emotional but love is not logical at all. Love is an evolved desire according to Helen Fisher. There are proximate causes for ignoring red flags and there are ultimate causes for it. The ultimate cause is that most humans have an innate desire to pair bond and procreate with someone to pass on their genes and ignoring red flags will always be part of the dating game unfortunately. The nature of confidence men and their ilk is that they are difficult to detect to most people. Even the highly educated and wealthy get swindled and scammed. Bernie Madoff’s clients were among the most intelligent and highly educated people yet they were all scammed out of millions of dollars. The human mind is wired to believe first and then disbelieve second. As long as humans are alive there will be con men and those that get conned. It’s the nature of being human unfortunately.
Seems to me that Ms Williams couldn't care less about good morals and caractere. This is not the first time she's in a relationship with people who has questionable or obscure source of income . She doesn't care. She just wants her money/ luxury life at all costs even if it stings from miles away, and when it's time to leave, just does just that.
It’s less embarrassing to be single. I think a lot of women also deal with the peer pressure to get married and being shamed for a marital status that’s only 50% in their control. They’ll tear you down no matter what but at least I’m valuing myself and ignoring the black women/single mother/older single woman stigmas some people have. If you think I’m less than for not having a husband, I don’t need you around me.
Its desperation. It becomes real lonely and depressing when you just go to work and home. Also, the older you get, the less chance you get to see your friends and family because everyone has their own responsibilities. So when a man enters the picture, a lot of women throw vetting out the window as soon as 2 boxes are checked just to have someone.
I can never agree/support struggle love and it’s crazy how some women glorify their struggle love Common sense leaves these women when they enter these relationships because they’re being sold on the external factor of the relationship and not getting these men I truly hope Ressa gets counseling because as much as the story was an eye opener (many women go through this sadly ) she needs to strengthen herself and how she move forward so this won’t repeat itself again.
🌟🌟🌟🌟💜💜👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿This video is definitely telling every bit of truth far as black women especially veting men that exactly right for you….. Period!!!!🌟❤️🔥💜💜🪽👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿💐💐💐👸🏿👸🏿🌟
Struggle love (which is something pushed HEAVILY on bw) seems more common than healthy relationship dynamics in the black community. Vetting is cool on the front end; having healthy boundaries is the only thing that will protect you in the long run though. Now, I do believe that will render most women single lol but better than being in bad relationships
I agree that men can and should be vetted. But let’s be real here. You don’t know what you don’t know. Unfortunately, some liars are very convincing and bad experiences like this are how people learn. How do you think scams exist? It isn’t just in romance. Most normal, emotionally healthy people aren’t walking around thinking about the lengths some con artists will go to to deceive them. That’s why I appreciate when women share their stories. We have all been naive at some point in our lives. Shaming women like Reesa and Portia just stops the next hurt woman from coming forward, then all the younguns will have to learn the hard way.
@@millieconsultancyIt’s sad that you think it’s acceptable to shame the victim without assigning one word of blame toward the perpetrator. Conning people is malicious and evil and that is the person who I will always shame and blame, not a victim who made a mistake. I’d love to see a litany of your mistakes so we can compare whether you or her is more naive, but my guess is you would never be as brave to share them as this lady was.
Miss you ever so much Chrissie, It's been so long since I have heard your voice😢😢, sis. I just glad to hear you. Good, on the short form vids for now, or until you feel like, hanging out and chatting with us again.😅
I am 2:32 minutes in and I’m going to be devastated if Christie doesn’t mention this: Sex way to early in the relationship and that’s one reason the woman feels it’s too late to drop him.
26 years here. I actually ended something with a man I thought was the love of my life when he came back to try again but I told myself I will never get a good man if I continue down the path of ignoring red flags…I keep thinking how I want a family and I have to nip it now before I experience something worse..then I saw this video and it confirmed even more I do not want to fall into the category of women who continue with these type of men
Very true the signs are there. We do ignore the signs of bad character because we want to be special. When a person shows you who they are, it is in our best interest to believe them!!!
Christianity or even the false Christianity doesn't have anything to do with the tic toc lady's decisions.. If she was actually living the Christian life, she wouldn't be in that situation. The only thing I disagree with..
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 this!!!! If someone actually takes God at His Word, and not out of context, you will NEVER be found in a situation like that. There is a big difference between a church-goer and an actual Christian. I’m not making a judgment about which one Reesa is (only God knows) , but many times people think that going to church automatically makes you a Christian. I find that women in the church, regardless of race, idolize marriage and relationships and kids. Unfortunately, that’s what leaders in the global church have done FOR YEARS. Marriage is idolized by both whites, blacks, and other people groups in the church. Even a majority of white marriages are struggling… but they’re less vocal about it. Just look at some of the “Trad wife” content, for example. Popular “Christian” marriage resources are unbiblical and completely taken out of its true context. The advice found within their pages reflect nothing of the love Jesus speaks about in His Word. If one actually opens the Bible, God nowhere says that marriage is the ultimate high in life. I’ve seen countless people in church who take matters into their own hands and get married to people they’re not even supposed to be with because they don’t trust the wisdom of God. God wants us to be fulfilled in our relationships, and be blessed by the person we’re with. Bcs we’re made in His image, we are deserving of a nice, quality relationship that is life-giving. He doesn’t want us being abused or using poor judgment to marry someone. All of this, among a plethora of many other things, continues to give true Christianity such a bad name 😞
Yeah I have to agree. By Christian standards, she failed the test when she moved him in. “Shacking up” used to be shameful but now, women are doing whatever to get a man. Even the Christian women. Don’t know Reesa’s full story but I know she was having premarital sex and moved in with the guy - enough said! Don’t bring Christianity into it bc religion ain’t the reason Reesa got into that mess
@@Coilygirly I’m a Christian as well and I can’t help but get annoyed in my soul with people who constantly make videos about “kingdom marriages”… I felt this deep down
8:44 Still relevant today. I was watching RHOP last night. The season Monique Samuels joined (not saying I like her but just making a point) Her mother in law was visibly bothered by the fact she was pampered and provided for by Chris. She even tried to sell that struggle love marriage fantasy lol. Monique was like NOPE! Some women are so bothered by another woman’s soft life. Sad.
Girls n women been conditioned by society to accept n put up with men. Women come equipped to love their kids no matter wht boys n girls. We always been told marriage is the goal n doing every n anything to keep a man. I’m glad both my parents taught me but I still hit my head. Telling someone is different than experiencing it up close. Especially if you Dnt know wht to look for because you didn’t see those steps in the home. It’s confusing when a person gaslight you. Also people wear masks, have mental issues developing, head injuries, n mental disorders undiagnosed. These things can happen in the middle of a relationship n they’ve never showed these things. It’s other things tht can happen along in a relationship, substance abuse, death in the family, n other changes. Women do have understanding n grace. Of course look out for self but I’m just giving examples of why many women stay in relationship. We have to be realistic about life n everyone’s situation is different n people have different ingredients on how to deal with life.
That's even more of a reason to ignore those that push the wall talk. Those are the whores at the wall talking and they stink. So to cause an illusion of not smelling they light the gas and say your life is coming to an end...pick them. Do the opposite. Lol
There’s literally no pressure on any of you 💀. Strangers don’t care about your lives. Nobody knows you and no one cares. Stop this narcissism, thinking that everyone’s worried about what you’re doing at whatever age. No one is worried about you
Reesa was definitely desperate and that clouded her judgement but in her defense, she was dealing with something other worldly LOL how often do men fake phone calls and lie about literally EVERYTHING, even what they had to eat that morning? He even offered proof with fake documents 😭 it sucks that we have to be CIA investigators. Is it even worth all the trouble? I think I’ll just stay single LOL
I want to emphasize the this: Chrissie said one thing she could appreciate about Reesa, is that she was accountable for her mistakes. Accountability in our dating choices is extremely important. This part of dating shouldn’t go over our heads. Plus, some people act like Chrissie doesn’t recognize pros/cons to situations. I respect that Chrissie always gives a fair & balanced view. But she is a straight shooter. The things she says may sound “harsh” but when it comes to something like who Black women choose to create a life with or reproduce with, it’s DIRE.
I’m so glad you covered this. It was really bothering me to read a lot of the comments about the Who tf did I marry story. I myself have made mistakes.. but there were a lot of things about that story that did not sit right. I also thought about how Christianity, specifically misogyny in Christianity, was a recurring theme in her story. Taking accountability is amazing, but I don’t see people discussing what comes after that. Because from my perspective there are still subsequent steps you have to take after that to recover.. There were few points in the story where she interjected and gave her current self’s reflections or thoughts.. and honestly I did not hear that much of a mindset shift which is what really alarmed me. Lastly what sealed it for me was in the ending she summarized by saying the takeaway from the story is to do research on people.. I couldn’t believe I did not see anyone talking about that. Of course do research that is common sense, but there are so many more takeaways from the story that rank higher in severity than that. Which she may have acknowledged and been accountable to, but if the goal is to help others, then I just wish she was more analytical with her approach. She is a great storyteller but that doesn’t correlate to solid advice. And her reflections throughout the story, most notably the ending, indicated to me that she wasn’t a completely reliable narrator. Just my opinion.
@@Uniquaization I can, I actually put them in another comment on another video, but I can paste here. It’s pretty long and I’m sure there are even more beyond what I said.
@@Uniquaization I think that some of the main takeaways are to love yourself first and foremost. Do not prioritize anyone over your sanity and emotional wellbeing. She realized he was lying about the house and decided to continue knowing he had the capacity to lie about something so serious. Care for yourself.. and not in the way that’s shown on social media.. but really truly care for yourself however that may look for you. That way when people come into your life, you won’t be so deprived of love and care that you subject yourself to any kind of treatment. Another one is that sometimes knowing more is not beneficial. There came to a point where she had enough information to leave.. but SHE wasn’t ready to leave. You can have all the information in front of you but if you choose not to really really believe it.. then you won’t leave until you are given no choice. Until your very survival is at stake. It made for a good story but finding out more and more only brought her more pain and mental instability. Love yourself enough to leave before you descend to that point Don’t allow anyone to isolate you and do not isolate yourself. Those who care about you have your best interests at heart. You have to be willing to hear what they have to say even if you don’t want to hear it. Bc sometimes when we fall in love we can’t think clearly and those around us help keep us grounded in reality Another takeaway is, to lower your self and your standards for something that you know is not right for you.. always will be more painful than being lonely. Each time you accept less you lower your self esteem subconsciously.. you are telling yourself that what you want doesn’t matter. Please do not let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved and cared for.. and that includes yourself. Don’t be your own worst enemy It made me sad to hear her still talking about how dating sucks bc to me I felt as if even after all of that she didn’t understand that who she is at her core is enough. Dating is hard now but after all of that.. it shouldn’t be her priority in my opinion. Repairing her heart and her mind needs to be.. I can understand not wanting to trust again after an experience like that.. But that just indicated to me a lack of healing that still needs to be addressed. And sometimes when we are still in the midst of our traumas and pains.. our ability to fully reflect isn’t where it would be compared to making it out of the storm.. There are soo soo many more lessons from this story but those are the ones that I wish she had covered. Those are the ones that would’ve shown a significant mindset change.
Nothing good will ever come from a woman ignoring her intuition. Trust your gut!
Yes! In addition, take care of your gut health and nutritional habits so "trusting your gut" is easier. Can't detect BS when you're full of it yourself lol.
@@rosegold.sunset4749lool love this 😂😂😂
These are the truest words EVER typed!! ❤️❤️❤️
The heart eats lies when it's hungry. The best thing we can do as women is to not seek out men to fill the voids in our lives.
This!!!!!!
Or go on a healing journey using the mainstream way. It's a fly trap with all scammers. Straight demons playing.
Bingo!✨💕
So true.
That’s a bar 😭😭🔥🔥
They put more time, money, and energy towards the wedding…..than they did to making a successful MARRIAGE!!
Why do women ignore red flags??? Because 99.99% of men have red flags. You just would be alone with your cat if you did not ignore the red flags. LOL Looking for a good man is like looking for a unicorn.
Preach!!!
Research signed at the court.
You can’t have a successful marriage with a fucked up guy
That’s little Girl thinking!
Portia dating and marrying her friend/acquaintance's husband was the biggest red flag. Both Reesa and Portia got caught up because their bills were getting paid. Men with money still need to be vetted...
He was also Dennis business colleague too.
The thing that is funny about this is that Reesa’s ex did not have “money”, her home expenses were just affordable.
The Tinder swindle way
They were never friends
@@lovelyleovirgo2718Here y’all go😭😭😭
Reese Teesa said, "being single sucks." That is why her story is 50 parts.
She was desperate for marriage even with a dusty, even if that man didn't pay her bills she still would've taken him in and married him
She paid for her fear of being alone 🥴
I’ve been single my entire life and I’m in my mid 20s. I tried dating seriously once and it was ugly. Still never slept with no one, I used to be ashamed and felt like I wasted my “golden years”. However, the older I get the more I learn this is what’s best for me mentally, physically and emotionally. The way things are looking like now in the dating scene, being single seems like it might save your life. Literally and figuratively.
@extrashotofespresso_ I'm 22, and also have been single my entire life. The most criticism I get is from the most insecure people. They keep saying I "need d*ck and I need to get a man" as if I wanna be in the same cheating disrespectful relationships they are in.
@@extrashotofespresso_same girl
I just left a relationship just like this. I fell for the fairytale that turned out to be a nightmare, until I reached my breaking point. I made my mistakes, but my intuition was strong enough to stop me from making certain permanent decisions that he was asking of me. I'm hurting from heart break, but I thank God that it wasn't worse than how it could've been.
Y
I feel like I have read your comments before when times were good. Are you ok??
You will be ok. You walked away. Most can’t do that. Proof that you will be fine. Don’t look back. The best is in the future.
same
Why do you think you didn't leave earlier? Do you think we have a fear spirit when dating men? Sort of like, if i don't accept him I will not be able to get a man.
I tripped on my way here😂
Same!
😂😂😂😂
Literally FELL girl 😂
Girl same 😮
I tripped and fell into this comment section actually lol😅
Yes I learned my lesson when I married a Nigerian man who needed green card. 😣 don’t be desperate for marriage ladies.
Marrying men who need a green card, never works out.
After 4 months of dating this african man lied to me and fess up that he has 3 kids with 3 women and 2 of them were pregnant at the same time. He's on a student visa and pressing me to marry him before he graduates. He told me...," well my heart is clean now, I am happy now that I am a christian" I said r u serious, why tell me now and lie about it, he said "I want to make sure you're not scamming me" ughhh I'm just tired of men they are evil and demons
Yup it didn’t work out for my mom so I grew up with no father figure after age 6. Nigerian men like to use multiple identities which results in getting deported like my father
@Lisette121 I mean if you only do it for the money.
Yeah. I have a man who is Algerian who I told I didnt want to talk to anymore after we made conversation for a while. He cannot come to America to visit me. So, i said we should probably end our contact about being together. I’m not marrying a man and giving him a green card. I dont care how sweet, kind, loving he is.
If he cannot get to America on his own, we have no business being in communication.
These women are looking for status and/or a lifestyle. All common sense goes out the window.
But I feel like Reesa would've still taken that dusty in even if he didn't pay the bills since a lot of bw who are independent usually still act out in desperation to keep a man (remember when she said she was alone and lonely in her house, that's why she took him in...which means even if she knew he was broke she still would've taken him in) Reesa had the desperation for marriage and companionship more than a man who can provide
Yep. Research says this that women focus on status. We has to remove that attachment to putting wife as a better type of woman than any woman on this planet. That's the problem. These "wives" prove as another example that being a wife is not security
But she wasn’t looking for those things. She just wanted a partner.
Some BW become desperate due to shaming from the same BW.
And BM
This part👏👏👏
Porche saw the red flags, she wanted to enjoy a lifestyle a long as it lasted! *Porche is a liar!*
THANK YOU!! The treatment BW give OTHER BW is appalling
You made so many great points. The one that resonated the most was how we almost approve of black women struggling vs winning. Personally it feels like we can’t have anything without comments about what we should or shouldn’t want/feel. It’s really sad. As for the situations all of these women have been in Im not going to judge as if all of my relationships have been perfect. I wish them well.
Y
Fear. Fear of being alone and lonely ... I've put up with my fair share of BS in hopes of keeping a man ... when Reesa said, "I just wanted it to be my turn." I understood that deeply!!!!
Black women, in particular, are pressured to stay in unsavory situations... "hold him down"
I agree with you completely ❤
@BigFineDoll, you are so right. In fact, people get downright indignant when we finally say enough and decide to take care of ourselves.
Yup.
I’m really glad that you pointed out how black women like to trauma bond over struggle because that especially is why it can be hard to find black spaces online that aren’t filled with negativity. It’s a constant barrage of negativity and self-pity. I get it because being black can be hard and it’s nice to share similar experiences but do we really need to constantly remind ourselves how “unattractive” we are and how “no one wants us” and how racist everything is? 😅
Thank you! I don't know how to discuss this with the black women I know but I find myself unfollowing and distancing myself from more and more black spaces online and offline because of this. We deserve to have positive spaces and reinforcements and flourish in life without having to be weighed down by endless fixation over random people don't like us or why we should feel bad about XYZ. Even the black men vs black women discussions are a way of tethering black women to suffering and too many of us are very happy to stay tethered for some reason. I have purposely removed myself from most black American spaces and even moved outside of the US. I still associate with a lot of Black people, but decentering the American racial context does wonders.
@@utamu777 Same here! Constantly focusing on the negative is not helpful or productive and it’s a shame that black women aren’t allowed to simply exist as we are.
@@utamu777you’re so real for this. I aspire to live abroad and I don’t really plan to come back. Still need to figure out sources of income to set this life up though
Right!!! I literally scroll past the BS , i cant deal with the self pity
Exactly! This is true divesting. Divest from drama. Cause wth
Within 6 months you know what you dealing with. Hell I watched a true crime show and the psychologist on the show even said the same.
But people call us bitter and haters when we tell these women that you can't marry a mam you just met a month ago (like the married in 30 days lady on tiktok)...it's almost guaranteeing disaster
Exactly i be watching crime stories to these women must not watch tv.
@@nicole.s2652oh they watch alright. They’re watching the fantasy shit like real house wives or love is blind 😂😂😂
Bus driver Legion. Million dollar Legion. Different tax bracket same Legion. 😕🤷🏾♀️
yup….chose wrong and ppl poppin ish about you!
Well said. Many ppl, including nonbp love a good "woe is me" story from bw. Bw in luxury get shunned. That should tell you something.
Ain't that the truth!
You never lied i see them arguing with black girl luxury it’s because bw luv the struggle. It’s nothing wrong with pampering yourself.
You never lied i see them arguing with black girl luxury it’s because bw luv the struggle. It’s nothing wrong with pampering yourself.
@@nicole.s2652 They loveee to see bw struggle and suffer. Its utterly despicable.
Does anyone else remember when a ww named Liv Siddal got triggered over Paula Sutton and her, Hill House luxurious lifestyle? It's different when people can't feel superior or sorry for someone.
The way I left the video I was watching so fast to be here 😂😂 hope you’re doing well Chrissie ❤
Same! 😂
I paused my audiobook so quick ⏸️ 😂
Period. Some gems being dropped
Me too always for Chrissie xoxo ❤
A good rule of thumb ladies if that a man has money but also has an excessive amount of time to lay up with you and go on trips and is not even constantly on his phone/laptop working, be suspicious. Rich men work 60-70 hrs per week minimum. Unless they sold a company or is older and retired.
Reesa could have avoided this situation with a con artist if she had simply asked herself some critical questions when she met him. How many wealthy black men with offshore accounts and enough money to pay cash for a 90,000 dollar car and 900,000 dollar home are with women who look like me? I have a decent job and stable housing. Could he possibly have ulterior motives for wanting to fast forward this relationship? Bottom line, he saw her coming. He sniffed out her desperation and used her for as long as she allowed. Unpopular opinion, but let's get out of our feelings just try to be objective.
Also in Atlanta where there are tons of beautiful successful single black women.
Also having 700k in offshore account? Why offshore, then living in a studio apartment. His living situation didn't align.
You have a point..we need to be truthful!😮When I heard about her story and saw how she looked 😮I already knew not to hit play!🙄🤔🤐
He is not easy on the eyes
Chrissie: Porsha is putting lifestyle over common sense.
Porsha’s common sense: Somebody had to be driving the train for the underground railroad.
Chrissie, girl…Porsha doesn’t have any sense 🫠😂🤣
I think about this all the time when ppl say that she is being strategic 😂
Plus according to Porsha there are only 265 days in a year.
I know Reesa admits desperation but I could not finish the 50 series.
I saw at the beginning 4 to maybe 6 episodes that she allowed red flags to turn into roses. No thanks.
@@edunlap6594 💯
Didn't need 50 parts to know how that was going to end. Blaring red lights from the get go.
@@user-ld1ml7zc2f Exactly👍🏽
Lol. I started at 18 and was like hell naw
Red flags everywhere with those two 😂😂😂
When it comes to men women loose all common sense
I have had friends cut their friendship with me because I saw red flags with their men
They will say you are jealous or mind your own business 😂
Dealing with something similar now with a very close friend … it’s disappointing 😢
I’m one of them i lost myself and common sense but came to myself very quickly. That was a lesson well learnt.
@@mobanks1573 sorry about that . Hopefully she will come to her senses.
@@nicole.s2652 far play for recognising that . Hope you can repair the friendship
Red flags don't just apply to romantic relationships, they apply to friendships as well. Personally, i avoid women like that like the plague because they will drag you down with them one way or another.
Chrissie uploaded 🥹😩👀🙌🏿😊😭💕
8:45 Oh... That's absolutely true. BW embrace the struggle only to say that they are partnered.😊
I was low key ridiculed (not to my face cause that would take guts lol) about my non black spouse. Im now 10 years plus strong with a great partner in life while all of people are either divorced, miserable and still chasing the devil.
You know Chrissie I'm glad youre talking about this because I couldve been in that situation simple on the fact that he could give me a better life while im in college working for that better life, financially I mean..(Then again, he was stingy, so again, I was taking a gamble), and sometimes I think.. "damn that suburban house and life is looking REAL good right about now," so I get it.. but women have to ask themselves mentally, is it worth it? Or even long term?
Reesa Teesa worked at a police department and never had the desire to look into Legion? Or her coworkers? F outta here. Its like she went out of her way to not find out what she already knew!!!!!
I agree completely! I'm so bothered by how she is getting so much reward for this willful ignorance
Bragging about being married but paying not only HALF the bills but MOST or ALLUM. That is NOT a flex 🙄
Not at all so I feel no ways about Portia
WHO paying all the bills???
12:17 I swear whenever something good about Black women goes viral, it ends quick or people try to end it...look at how everybody is against the Black girl luxury trend all of a sudden (a gay man made a whole video on why it's old and ending, which went viral🤦🏾♀️)..and also the Black Girl Follow Train trend that had white women frothing in the mouth over, also ended in less than a month...And the hypergamy advices that trend on sm encouraging black women to date and marry up, also got criticised by black people the most with people trying to force us to marry for "love", which slowly worked because gen z black girls are also speaking against hypergamy on sm.
We can never get any good promo without complaints or it ending quick and forgotten later....
Yes, seen all of that. Certain people don't want black women seen as feminine, worthy of love, money and luxury.
Absolutely just had a woman of no colour complain about bw living lavishly on my level up video. The nerve!!😂
Gen Z will struggle with hypergamy because it requires an innate amount of self control and self responsibility. You cannot be hypergamous by accident. It requires girls to take accountability and live with intentionality. That means you must plan where and who you spend your time with. You must be able to learn new soft skills that equip you to understand yourself. It requires a hefty amount of effort. Gurlies are lazy and do not like effort. That is why they start to backtrack.
@@millieconsultancy I don’t think this is true. GenZ black women are set up to make more money, start more businesses, and gain more education than our predecessors. That’s not lazy.
GenZ women are chronically online - constantly bombarded with propaganda. They don’t know up from down because they’re getting TOO MUCH information online and advice from content creators. There’s no way to know who really “has it like that” and whose advice has more weight. We have people trying to undermine legitimate educators, scholars and proven academics in favor of podcasters and “soft life” content creators. That’s a huge problem.
The average black woman under 30 may not have successful women to look up to or ask for advice. So misinformation online can derail a lot of women who genuinely seek guidance. I’ve unplugged from social media altogether - I only have YT for that reason.
Think about why. BW birth the BC, and if they don't like seeing us progressing, there's a reason. The BC globally is seen as a catch-all, take-all community. If we decide as women to have standards, certain folks can't just come take what they want, nor will we continue to keep breeding their lower class. It is not lost on me that there's a competition mindset as well, and especially from certain non-BW when it comes to us slowly deciding to date out. It's also not lost on me that BM are a huge part of the problem. This can't be done without their contributions with these demeaning podcasts about BW...
Finally!!! Chrissie is back ! ❤
I've missed you Chrissie. Trust you are well and thriving xxx
Reesa did one thing that let me listen to her story and really take it in not treat it like a joke or entertainment [Accountability] other than that I wouldn't have even listened to it. Chrissie thanks for sharing your point of view I was curious if you were going to talk about it. ❤
Unpopular opinion: I feel like Reesa should have kept that L of a marriage to herself. I cannot fathom why people go on Social Media to discuss their personal lives because now every where she goes, she’ll be associated with this situation. She was better off discussing with a therapist. I just can’t stand the inclination of sharing struggles and trauma bonding with strangers. I feel like the cons outweigh the potential monetization of sharing said story. Like Chrissie mentioned, we’ve all made dating missteps, myself included, but there’s something to be said about making a 50 part series for the world to digest as their entertainment. This is not going to bode well for her in the long term I’m afraid.
I disagree she made a lot of money from this. And most people side with her even conservatives.
@@Lola-qy9yt Maybe she has not yet made "a lot of money", but she's already received enough money from her go fund me to book her trip to London. She definitely monetized her "trauma".
@Lola-qy9yt Yep agreed. Normally, I don't agree with women putting their business out there, but sometimes it's beneficial, like in Reesa's case.
By revealing this she will attract legion 2.0. She monetized her trauma, but now super predators are lurking. Most men don’t treat you better than how they’ve known other men to treat you. Which is why it’s never a good idea to share your traumas with men… and she told the entire world.
She made money, but how much? According to Ressa she made ZERO from Tiktok. Will this money be enough to erase the fact she's the new face of Black women's struggle for the time being. Is that the new Hussle now?
Im married and I’ve been cultivating our couples circle, which my husband didn’t like at first, but love now since it’s helped him socially and to network.
Im also cultivating my feminine hypergamy friendships Fashion Week just ended for New York (it moves to Paris Japan etc.,) and am going to the Hamptons in April with just my girlfriends free of charge (her weekend home).
I’m gearing up to go back to work in a cushy position, because now I know it’s about WHO you know. And last year being able to make six figures part time really, really proves that wealth whispers, how unfair the system is and how fully black girlies are pushed out at every step of the way from the soft life, comfortable stress free homes and luxury.
Would love some tips on networking
This ☝🏾. How did you start networking and what advice do you have on that?
The easiest way to network is through sports and exercise@@yourlittlesecret7575 Once you get there you then have to have a asset value you can exchange. This is the area women fall down in. First focus on your asset value. Create a skillset within yourself. Do you have a charity that specialises in dyslexia/adhd/cancer in children/ Something that says hmmm I need to keep this girl on my radar. Women tend to think being pretty and fun is the Asset value. That is the Network experience. But you need an asset. It could be she teaches private Yoga class. She is a financial advisor on the side. She is a tennis coach recruiter. She is a college specialist.
Networking:
1. Create your ASSET VALUE
2. ATTEND NETWORKING EVENTS
3. Develop the NETWORKING EXPERIENCE
(i,e Your persona)
-Calm,
-Non judgemental
- Polite (not nice)
-Respectful
-Time Keeping
Then repeat all of that until you meet your network. It can take at least two years, so be patient.
It's often easier for married women because they gravitate towards each other more.
But as a single girl the other trick is not to limit yourself with age. You might meet an older woman in her 60s who connects with you. Then you find out he husband owns the whole town (lol)- So do not not age shame. Be open.
THIS! ☝🏾💯💖
I'm a hypergamous Christian black woman. Just like you said, Chrissie, I dislike hearing people use these stories to discourage black women from being hypergamous and trying to act like we feel like money is all that matters. Even the sugar babies and esc0rt$ talk about how a man's generosity is more important than his finances (which are extremely important as well). But they're ignoring this fact.
Reesa’s situation proved everything you have been saying about vetting Chrissie. Quick Google searches could have invalidated 80% of what this man told her, but the desperation stopped her from doing any research. It just goes to show that when people say “men cant be vetted, it’s impossible” what they mean is “i refuse to vet him if i really really want him”
Also can we all do a collective laugh at the people saying that reesa’s ex is in any way an example of marrying for money?? 😂 This man was paying a 900$ rent 😂 Ive never even seen a 900$ rent in my whole entire life. Thats less than my husband’s truck car note. Some of these people remind me of that Quinta Brunson skit when the dude at the movie theater was ordering popcorn and skittles and she was like “oooo you’re a baller!!” Don’t get me wrong, I came from humble beginnings, so im not hating. but im laughing at the feminist content creators acting like he’s the kind of man of means that certain hypergamy spaces talk about. Even the most ruthless hypergamy girls that completely ignore character arent out here telling you to do it for 900$ 😂 please be serious.
Everything you said is spot on Chrissie, character AND success are ESSENTIAL. I wouldnt stop being single for anything less than good character and success
I want the same women who came out against “black women in luxury” representation to speak against “struggle love story time” representation. But they won’t. They’re triggered by seeing stories about black women living well, but they’re perfectly fine with an over abundance of black struggle love stories. Somehow they think “black women deserve more than luxury” but they dont think “black women deserve more than struggle love” 😂😂😂😂 I even saw one of the detractors of black women in luxury DEFENDING Jonathan Biles (Simone Biles dustband) when he embarrassed Simone. Because to them, struggle love and lack of attraction is 100% fine. It’s normal and even encouraged for a legend like Simone to be with a man who has a luke warm attraction. But luxury is where they draw the line. Fine dining and vacations are where they draw the line 😂 I hate it here smdh 🤦🏽♀️
You ate with this comment I cannot lie 😂
It was honestly giving that 90 day fiancé clip of Alan stating he was only 55% attracted to Nicole😭
Also y’all please get to know these men, so many relationships fail because y’all don’t get to know each other and don’t even really talk to each other unless it has to do with kids, sex, and bills. If your partner isn’t your friend and y’all can’t show who you are to them without feeling weird or can’t have a conversation about your favorite movie then it’s not a real relationship
We need to start expanding on communication skills. There is something in communication we call the "technique". Men are amazing at camouflaging. They become your friend very easily hence why they are able to manipulate the woman. Women need to learn the technique in getting to know his true self. Sadly when you practice the "technique", men will start acting erratic and switch on you . Because the "technique" is a style of communication engagement that doesn't allow the man to hide. A lot of these partners show themselves to be a friend, by doing everything you stated 🙂
does it mean they simply mirror you? @@millieconsultancy
They analyse you based on social profiles and past normalities. A lot of their behaviour is assumption@@Uniquaization So majority of the time when you start dating them you have to impose your standards from hello and keep reinforcing to change his behaviour. They are trying to work you out and see your weakness.
I always say to start out seeing if you're compatible as friends first, because if you don't have a strong foundation of friendship then you're not likely to be compatible as anything more than that
What is the technique? When I was single I think I may have practiced this without even realising. Some men would say a lot of words to me without really communicating the basics. So I’d be really direct and ask them questions about their life, work experience, past relationships. I could see men didn’t like it.
thanks chrissie. i was waiting for you. theres 2 other stories that went viral along with this. "the lies he told" is one of them and the other is about a woman who tried to play step mom and it didnt work out. again Christianity played a part in both stories
Over the years I’ve learned the patterns and realized that I can’t control other folks behavior, but I can set boundaries and standards for myself and hold them. That’s the key to vetting for me. I don’t have to be a detective and find out exactly why a man never wants to actually go out. I just need to be clear that “Can I roll through?” And “WYD?” texts are not dating as I care to engage in it and consistently refuse to engage even if it means staying by myself. If we’re honest, these stories end with the woman by herself anyway and at a deficit in some other way too usually. The end result is the same, so why let desperation creep in and convince you to bring all that suffering on yourself in addition?
But Chrissie...
"Only gawdt can judge me!"
And...
"I's married now!"
Oh, and my favorite...
"You just JEALOUS that you ain't got a man and I DO, Savannah!"
Funny but so sad and destructive. And if they have kids on top of that it sends a very wrong message FOR LIFE.
CHRISSIE! I clicked on the video so fast 😂❤
I was waiting for Chrissie's take on these stories! Both Ressa & Porsha were chasing a fantasy. They married these men because they thought they could provide them with a more lavish lifestyle than they could afford on their own. Both knew these men were shady & chose to ignore it.
I get so excited whenever you post. I really value your perspective.
Hope ReesaTeesa fully recovers cause her story... wowww
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 “ that is the face of black women already, struggle love “ hilariously true! So let’s take one for the team and let her have this one.
Crazy part is some women specifically bw will notice red flags in a friendship or will be quick to cut it off over something trivial but will be blind when it comes to a relationship and take the same dude back time and time again
They see the red flags and ignore them, because they want to be able to say they have a man, knowing that he’s not fully a man. That’s why I will continue to stay single, until I know I’m fully respected.
Please don’t take my message the wrong way because I honestly want SO MUCH more for us. I loss a lot of respect for Porsha when she got with Simon and even though Reesa admitted her desperation, I couldn’t stomach watching all 50 parts. After so long, I can’t keep blaming the men, I blame the women/us.
Well said! 👏👏
Agreed. I did watch the entire series, but it was frustrating as hell after a while listening to her continue to explain one stupid decision after another. As Chrissie said, it will be interesting to see how this plays out for her in the future. She may get a few coins, but will it really improve her overall quality of life in the end?
@@greenbyrdd8308 So true
But when will we ever get love. Aren't we deserving. Why can't we just get loved on by healthy men. Why do we have to revert to loving ourselves bc these men are incapable
I crave love so bad and it sucks I have to learn to live alone.
What woman wants that like really
@@kissesbabylovetry non black men
I'm so glad you did this video it is extremely normalized black women being traumatized in some way this needs to change
I clicked soooo fast!!! I miss your content so much!
Chrissie has HAD IT with BW cheering on the negative promotion and optics. She’s been sounding the alarm for YEARS. She’s like - I don’t know what else to tell you BW.
Chrissie I was waiting on your commentary!! Porsha thought she snagged a prize. I knew that Porsha's marriage wouldn't last. From what I understand, Simon has several ex wives. That's a major reason why she shouldn't have married him.
Reesa definitely ignored several large red flags. She continued to ignore and override her intuition. Both Porsha and Reesa are cautionary tales that could've been prevented. I hope we all learn to slow down and vet men better.
Agreed, it was obvious to me that Porsha and that man would not work because he had 3 ex wives, jumped into an engagement with her and he just didn’t give off wealthy established man vibes. My intuition was tell me that man was off. Porsha was desperate for a marriage and would accept it from any man who had money and ready to marry her.
Reesa.. desperation is a messed up thing.
He was married 3 times before. Yep and he was a cheater with his last wife and they say she started cheating right back. Porsha tried and failed on this one
I always say desperation will cause you to allow the devil himself into your life and home and it will be HELL to pay to get them out! Knowing this before you go into a relationship, you have to ask yourself when the red flags wave, will I survive the hell that he's going to drag me through. I'm here to say it's not worth the risk so when you see those red flags RUN FAST, RUN HARD AND RUN FAR AWAY !!!
I just got out of a relationship of 3 years. It was my first serious relationship . I was in my mid 20s. It took me a second but I am happy I saw the red flags. I also think our 10 year age gap played a factor. I knew when I started growing in resentment due to his controlling attitude I mentally checked out of the relationship for a year and a half. Now I am at peace! I am not with the struggle love.
I saw a woman over 40 on tiktok counting the days of no contact after a breakup and crying on her sofa. The young girls in the comments were saying “it’s going to be ok auntie”. We have to stop selling our trauma for profit. It’s getting ridiculous. Other groups of women are viewing this material and laughing at it. It’s entertaining to them but it’s our image that we sacrifice for their entertainment.
I think struggle love goes viral with Black women because "misery loves company".
Exactly to everything said
Thank you for doing such a great job highlighting areas that single women like myself can learn and improve in. I could definitely relate to ReeseTessa's story. I survived my own version of Legion 2.0. Although no one deserves to be abused, I must admit and be accountable for my role in the matter. I was in my late 30's about to turn 40 and I was desperate to have a man in my life and to have more children so much so I didn't vet at all and I was very trusting. I am so glad that I woke up and got away! 💨
I really hope Reesa’s story is fake. I watched the whole thing and waiting for her to say “April Fools!” It’s too sad of a story.
Damn y'all really are prompting me to set aside some time and just watch the entire thing. Sounds like a horror movie.
I watched only 15 episodes, Very interesting and entertaining. But I truly believe it was fake.
@@queennubian2573I like long videos because can get things done without having to search for new content
I’m almost done but it’s not fake. There have been people from Legion’s family that verified her story and outed him specifically as the story took off.
I’m literally on part 23 but I knewwww you would come through. Hearing everything that happened was insane because he was tweaking but somehow they still got married 😭😭 he is hideous but bc he’s 6’5 he’s made it this far 🥴🥴
If you’re a woman who desires marriage start building towards that now. Start working on yourself now. The more you value yourself the harder it is to be fazed by bs. And if you’re a woman of faith, trust in the Lord to bring who he has for you and sit down somewhere. He don’t need your help 😅
You right...
Desiring marriage and desiring a good marriage with a great partner are 2 different things
Love is an emotion that is not logical. When a woman or man is in a state of desperation and extreme loneliness it’s very easy to ignore red flags. Perhaps we do see this more with women than men because women are more emotional but love is not logical at all. Love is an evolved desire according to Helen Fisher. There are proximate causes for ignoring red flags and there are ultimate causes for it.
The ultimate cause is that most humans have an innate desire to pair bond and procreate with someone to pass on their genes and ignoring red flags will always be part of the dating game unfortunately.
The nature of confidence men and their ilk is that they are difficult to detect to most people. Even the highly educated and wealthy get swindled and scammed. Bernie Madoff’s clients were among the most intelligent and highly educated people yet they were all scammed out of millions of dollars.
The human mind is wired to believe first and then disbelieve second.
As long as humans are alive there will be con men and those that get conned. It’s the nature of being human unfortunately.
Seems to me that Ms Williams couldn't care less about good morals and caractere. This is not the first time she's in a relationship with people who has questionable or obscure source of income . She doesn't care. She just wants her money/ luxury life at all costs even if it stings from miles away, and when it's time to leave, just does just that.
Chrissie can you do a video about Mea Culpa
I heard that movie is horrible like all the TP movies
@@theteleisewilliamsexperience i would love to hear her perspective and i heard ppl didnt like it
I doubt she will since it’s the typical Tyler Perry fare
Thanks for covering this, and welcome back.
It’s less embarrassing to be single. I think a lot of women also deal with the peer pressure to get married and being shamed for a marital status that’s only 50% in their control. They’ll tear you down no matter what but at least I’m valuing myself and ignoring the black women/single mother/older single woman stigmas some people have. If you think I’m less than for not having a husband, I don’t need you around me.
Its desperation. It becomes real lonely and depressing when you just go to work and home. Also, the older you get, the less chance you get to see your friends and family because everyone has their own responsibilities. So when a man enters the picture, a lot of women throw vetting out the window as soon as 2 boxes are checked just to have someone.
I can never agree/support struggle love and it’s crazy how some women glorify their struggle love
Common sense leaves these women when they enter these relationships because they’re being sold on the external factor of the relationship and not getting these men
I truly hope Ressa gets counseling because as much as the story was an eye opener (many women go through this sadly ) she needs to strengthen herself and how she move forward so this won’t repeat itself again.
*Vetting these men
Great analysis as usual, Chrissie👏
Yesss Chrissie ‘s back 🎉
I miss you Chrissie, glad you’re back
Hey. Missed you ❤
🌟🌟🌟🌟💜💜👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿This video is definitely telling every bit of truth far as black women especially veting men that exactly right for you….. Period!!!!🌟❤️🔥💜💜🪽👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿👸🏿💐💐💐👸🏿👸🏿🌟
I watched the whole thing
I feel for her
But reesa saw what she wanted to see, until she couldn't ignore it
Chrissie, I know you’re booked and busy but your RUclips girls need you at least once a week. Please.
Struggle love (which is something pushed HEAVILY on bw) seems more common than healthy relationship dynamics in the black community. Vetting is cool on the front end; having healthy boundaries is the only thing that will protect you in the long run though. Now, I do believe that will render most women single lol but better than being in bad relationships
WHY WOULD WOMEN BE MAD AT REESA FOR GOING TO PARIS AND LONDON? IM CONFUSED
💯
I agree that men can and should be vetted. But let’s be real here. You don’t know what you don’t know. Unfortunately, some liars are very convincing and bad experiences like this are how people learn. How do you think scams exist? It isn’t just in romance. Most normal, emotionally healthy people aren’t walking around thinking about the lengths some con artists will go to to deceive them. That’s why I appreciate when women share their stories. We have all been naive at some point in our lives. Shaming women like Reesa and Portia just stops the next hurt woman from coming forward, then all the younguns will have to learn the hard way.
@@millieconsultancyIt’s sad that you think it’s acceptable to shame the victim without assigning one word of blame toward the perpetrator. Conning people is malicious and evil and that is the person who I will always shame and blame, not a victim who made a mistake. I’d love to see a litany of your mistakes so we can compare whether you or her is more naive, but my guess is you would never be as brave to share them as this lady was.
I dont like how people were blaming reesa's weight on legion cheating smh.
Miss you ever so much Chrissie, It's been so long since I have heard your voice😢😢, sis.
I just glad to hear you.
Good, on the short form vids for now, or until you feel like, hanging out and chatting with us again.😅
I am 2:32 minutes in and I’m going to be devastated if Christie doesn’t mention this: Sex way to early in the relationship and that’s one reason the woman feels it’s too late to drop him.
You can’t help women that don’t want to help themselves.
Chrissie, please talk about AD from Love is blind!
Chrissie need a review on this season of love is blind. The one black couple this season were a 2.0 of Chris and Paige from married at first sight
What had me the most in the ReesaTeesa story was the Pearl woman... charging $40 I was absolutely done
26 years here. I actually ended something with a man I thought was the love of my life when he came back to try again but I told myself I will never get a good man if I continue down the path of ignoring red flags…I keep thinking how I want a family and I have to nip it now before I experience something worse..then I saw this video and it confirmed even more I do not want to fall into the category of women who continue with these type of men
Very true the signs are there. We do ignore the signs of bad character because we want to be special. When a person shows you who they are, it is in our best interest to believe them!!!
Christianity or even the false Christianity doesn't have anything to do with the tic toc lady's decisions.. If she was actually living the Christian life, she wouldn't be in that situation. The only thing I disagree with..
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 this!!!! If someone actually takes God at His Word, and not out of context, you will NEVER be found in a situation like that. There is a big difference between a church-goer and an actual Christian. I’m not making a judgment about which one Reesa is (only God knows) , but many times people think that going to church automatically makes you a Christian.
I find that women in the church, regardless of race, idolize marriage and relationships and kids. Unfortunately, that’s what leaders in the global church have done FOR YEARS. Marriage is idolized by both whites, blacks, and other people groups in the church. Even a majority of white marriages are struggling… but they’re less vocal about it. Just look at some of the “Trad wife” content, for example. Popular “Christian” marriage resources are unbiblical and completely taken out of its true context. The advice found within their pages reflect nothing of the love Jesus speaks about in His Word.
If one actually opens the Bible, God nowhere says that marriage is the ultimate high in life. I’ve seen countless people in church who take matters into their own hands and get married to people they’re not even supposed to be with because they don’t trust the wisdom of God. God wants us to be fulfilled in our relationships, and be blessed by the person we’re with. Bcs we’re made in His image, we are deserving of a nice, quality relationship that is life-giving. He doesn’t want us being abused or using poor judgment to marry someone. All of this, among a plethora of many other things, continues to give true Christianity such a bad name 😞
Yeah I have to agree. By Christian standards, she failed the test when she moved him in. “Shacking up” used to be shameful but now, women are doing whatever to get a man. Even the Christian women. Don’t know Reesa’s full story but I know she was having premarital sex and moved in with the guy - enough said!
Don’t bring Christianity into it bc religion ain’t the reason Reesa got into that mess
@@Coilygirly That first paragraph you wrote is golden.
@@Coilygirly I’m a Christian as well and I can’t help but get annoyed in my soul with people who constantly make videos about “kingdom marriages”… I felt this deep down
I was waiting for you to talk about the Ressa Tessa situation...👀👀👀
Love❤
8:44 Still relevant today. I was watching RHOP last night. The season Monique Samuels joined (not saying I like her but just making a point) Her mother in law was visibly bothered by the fact she was pampered and provided for by Chris. She even tried to sell that struggle love marriage fantasy lol. Monique was like NOPE! Some women are so bothered by another woman’s soft life. Sad.
No offense in not desperate for a black man I’m expanding my options
SMART
You still have to vett them. Men are men regardless of race.
Girls n women been conditioned by society to accept n put up with men. Women come equipped to love their kids no matter wht boys n girls. We always been told marriage is the goal n doing every n anything to keep a man. I’m glad both my parents taught me but I still hit my head. Telling someone is different than experiencing it up close. Especially if you Dnt know wht to look for because you didn’t see those steps in the home. It’s confusing when a person gaslight you.
Also people wear masks, have mental issues developing, head injuries, n mental disorders undiagnosed. These things can happen in the middle of a relationship n they’ve never showed these things. It’s other things tht can happen along in a relationship, substance abuse, death in the family, n other changes. Women do have understanding n grace. Of course look out for self but I’m just giving examples of why many women stay in relationship. We have to be realistic about life n everyone’s situation is different n people have different ingredients on how to deal with life.
Thanks Chrissie. I needed this. Being in your 30s, there’s so much pressure on us for marriage and kids. Back to my single season ✨
That's even more of a reason to ignore those that push the wall talk. Those are the whores at the wall talking and they stink. So to cause an illusion of not smelling they light the gas and say your life is coming to an end...pick them. Do the opposite. Lol
There’s literally no pressure on any of you 💀. Strangers don’t care about your lives. Nobody knows you and no one cares. Stop this narcissism, thinking that everyone’s worried about what you’re doing at whatever age. No one is worried about you
@@Las645I think they’re speaking figuratively as a society, but it’s specifically a pressure if you have families that are judgmental
Reesa was definitely desperate and that clouded her judgement but in her defense, she was dealing with something other worldly LOL how often do men fake phone calls and lie about literally EVERYTHING, even what they had to eat that morning? He even offered proof with fake documents 😭 it sucks that we have to be CIA investigators. Is it even worth all the trouble? I think I’ll just stay single LOL
I want to emphasize the this: Chrissie said one thing she could appreciate about Reesa, is that she was accountable for her mistakes. Accountability in our dating choices is extremely important. This part of dating shouldn’t go over our heads. Plus, some people act like Chrissie doesn’t recognize pros/cons to situations. I respect that Chrissie always gives a fair & balanced view. But she is a straight shooter. The things she says may sound “harsh” but when it comes to something like who Black women choose to create a life with or reproduce with, it’s DIRE.
I’m so glad you covered this. It was really bothering me to read a lot of the comments about the Who tf did I marry story. I myself have made mistakes.. but there were a lot of things about that story that did not sit right. I also thought about how Christianity, specifically misogyny in Christianity, was a recurring theme in her story. Taking accountability is amazing, but I don’t see people discussing what comes after that. Because from my perspective there are still subsequent steps you have to take after that to recover.. There were few points in the story where she interjected and gave her current self’s reflections or thoughts.. and honestly I did not hear that much of a mindset shift which is what really alarmed me. Lastly what sealed it for me was in the ending she summarized by saying the takeaway from the story is to do research on people.. I couldn’t believe I did not see anyone talking about that. Of course do research that is common sense, but there are so many more takeaways from the story that rank higher in severity than that. Which she may have acknowledged and been accountable to, but if the goal is to help others, then I just wish she was more analytical with her approach. She is a great storyteller but that doesn’t correlate to solid advice. And her reflections throughout the story, most notably the ending, indicated to me that she wasn’t a completely reliable narrator. Just my opinion.
well ehy dont you put the other more important takeaways here then?
@@Uniquaization I can, I actually put them in another comment on another video, but I can paste here. It’s pretty long and I’m sure there are even more beyond what I said.
@@Uniquaization I think that some of the main takeaways are to love yourself first and foremost. Do not prioritize anyone over your sanity and emotional wellbeing. She realized he was lying about the house and decided to continue knowing he had the capacity to lie about something so serious. Care for yourself.. and not in the way that’s shown on social media.. but really truly care for yourself however that may look for you. That way when people come into your life, you won’t be so deprived of love and care that you subject yourself to any kind of treatment.
Another one is that sometimes knowing more is not beneficial. There came to a point where she had enough information to leave.. but SHE wasn’t ready to leave. You can have all the information in front of you but if you choose not to really really believe it.. then you won’t leave until you are given no choice. Until your very survival is at stake. It made for a good story but finding out more and more only brought her more pain and mental instability. Love yourself enough to leave before you descend to that point
Don’t allow anyone to isolate you and do not isolate yourself. Those who care about you have your best interests at heart. You have to be willing to hear what they have to say even if you don’t want to hear it. Bc sometimes when we fall in love we can’t think clearly and those around us help keep us grounded in reality
Another takeaway is, to lower your self and your standards for something that you know is not right for you.. always will be more painful than being lonely. Each time you accept less you lower your self esteem subconsciously.. you are telling yourself that what you want doesn’t matter. Please do not let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved and cared for.. and that includes yourself. Don’t be your own worst enemy
It made me sad to hear her still talking about how dating sucks bc to me I felt as if even after all of that she didn’t understand that who she is at her core is enough. Dating is hard now but after all of that.. it shouldn’t be her priority in my opinion. Repairing her heart and her mind needs to be.. I can understand not wanting to trust again after an experience like that.. But that just indicated to me a lack of healing that still needs to be addressed. And sometimes when we are still in the midst of our traumas and pains.. our ability to fully reflect isn’t where it would be compared to making it out of the storm.. There are soo soo many more lessons from this story but those are the ones that I wish she had covered. Those are the ones that would’ve shown a significant mindset change.
wow thank you so much for sharing. This is very helpful, especially for younger women in the dating world. @@Ceceee21