I went through that lone wolf stage for 24.5 years. I had enough of it when I fell into a relationship. I thought, wow, the wait was worth it, this girl really loves me. Then after 1 year, she randomly lost interest and dumped me, because I didn’t have a good enough job or make enough money. She also didn’t like my living situation, and said I didn’t treat her like a princess everyday. (Actual quote)
My problem isn’t that I don’t know who I am yet. It’s that my GF hadn’t matured herself yet, and instead of maturing with me, she said she wanted to be single.
i wouldn't lose hope, just try to focus on improving your life to be as fulfilling as possible and the right person will come along. it's important to extend your timeframe :)
@@solacespeaksthis- every happy relationship i’ve ever had has come at a time i was least expecting it. wanting and anticipating the right one usually led to self destruction and over analyzing shallow relationships.
CROATIA MENTIONED RAAAAAH!! 🇭🇷🇭🇷 Jokes aside i am a croatian teenager and not too long ago i got my first girlfriend, i genuinely love her and i feel like i am always apologising too much for dumb stuff but when i do not apologise i feel rude even if she is assuring me that im fine and that she loves me (we are still in the lovebombing phase), i guess i'm just afraid of losing her in the future, im really nervous about it all for some reason when i really shouldnt be.
Hello, based version 1.0 enjoyer, I hope you're prepared for a ramble that's almost longer than the video itself: This is an interesting video. Although it's not the first time I've heard the "focus on yourself" mindset, you seem to have a somewhat unique perspective on _why_ it's a good idea. And as a result, I'm split between the "focus on yourself" mindset and the "you gotta try harder" mindset. There seem to be compelling arguments for both sides. You see, back in August, I entered the school year with a goal to talk to girls more and start dating during said school year. As you can imagine, over five months later, that has yet to happen, and I'm not even any closer to achieving that goal than I was during the first few days. I could blame this on any number of factors: my field of study being >90% male, my own lack of confidence, the antisocial nature of today's society, etc., etc. But that's not to say that absolutely nothing came out of that resolve. As part of my initial strategy, I joined more academic clubs, and although this didn't help me meet new girls, I did find some new activities that I genuinely enjoyed doing (journalistic satire and stand-up). I figured out through these passions that I don't actually hate writing as much as I thought I did, and now I have new ways of creative expression. So clearly this mindset of wanting to put conscious effort in has to be good for something, right? Part of what pushed me to make this goal in the first place was societal pressure: seemingly everywhere, I hear others talking about their own dating lives, and I'm basically the last out of my friends and family to start dating. Not only have I been asked, "when are you getting a girlfriend," but it's also made me wonder, "when _is_ my turn?" Although having no dating experience at 20 isn't anywhere near "wizard" territory, it certainly seems like I'm a bit of an anomaly at times. I can also pinpoint a few times I "fumbled" in the past, so it's also something I wanna prove to myself that I can do. Giving up this whole pursuit is tempting. If the whole idea of "I have to make progress towards becoming more confident" was scrubbed from my head, I could put 100% of my mental energy into my creative projects, including my videos. Not to mention the time I'd save from not going to a bunch of random events in the hopes of meeting new people. Although I definitely wouldn't say I'm living a life that's not true to myself, an attitude like this could help me become a more authentic person like you said. Plus, I could take back total control of my well-being and self-esteem. Due to the lack of progress in this one specific area in my life, I've caught myself downplaying all the other good things I've done. I'll be reflecting on the past week and thinking, "yeah, I got work done on my creative projects, did well in my classes, and had some fun times, but I didn't talk to any girls this week, so it wasn't that good." Don't you see how ridiculous that is? On the other hand, not only does giving up on something seem like a weak thing to do, but it would make me even more uncertain as to whether I'll find someone in the future. It could happen in about a year as was the case with you, but it's also easy to imagine a world where I remain single throughout all my 20s and 30s because I took no action and just kept thinking, "things will fall into place someday." Or maybe I'll miss out on meeting people I'd be compatible with because I didn't take the initiative to talk to them. And in one of your other videos, you said that in order to feel less lonely, one of the things one should do is put conscious effort into going out more and talking to new people. Another video of yours is about how people should take more risks and try not to get too comfortable with their current conditions. It seems kind of contradictory that you make those points in those videos, yet your solution for dating-related frustration is to just wait it out and let things fall into place. So, as I said, it's a toss up between two possible paths I could take. Not expecting you, or anyone else who might be reading, to have the answer for me; just thought I'd provide some feedback and share my own experiences on the topic. I'd definitely be interested to hear your thoughts on meeting new people, as you said at the end. Cool video, and although the format isn't revolutionary, I wish you the best in the growth of this new channel. Inb4 "bro is yapping," Your Favorite Funny Minecrafter, speedycube64
Hey! I just wanted to say that I was in a place extremely similar to you a couple years ago. I’d always been super awkward when it came to talking to girls, and eventually started to try and put myself out there, meet new girls, and find the one for me. Yet for years all I could manage was a few friends that were already in relationships. I went all the way till 23 without ever having dated anyone. And then one day I met someone on a discord server that I made, found out we shared similar hobbies, played a lot of games together, and eventually they moved to a different country (my own, Canada), and we married. I’m in my mid 20s now, and it was an absolute whirlwind. I had extremely similar thoughts - would I need to wait till 30? Would I ever find someone? In the end, it was pursuit of my own interests that found me the person I’m with today. Though I give a lot of the credit to God, as a Christian. But still. I write this to hopefully give you some inspiration and not give up hope. And to hopefully not feel alone in your “never dated before and I’m 20+”. I was just like you, and I trust you will find someone too 🙌
@@zedwolf01 Yo, thanks for your comment. Always nice to see some support and to get a bit more perspective on how I'm not nearly the first to have this issue. I've since given some more thought to the topic and made the decision to simply "pursue my own interests" as you put it. Among the other reasons for this decision I said earlier, I realized I had nothing to lose ('cause I wasn't talking to girls anyway) and a lot to gain by doing so. Also, looking back at the way I made most of my friends, including those I made this year, most of that was a result of things falling into place and not a product of my spree of trying to meet new people. I'd considered making this decision a while ago, but a few minor events (including coming across this video) made me re-assess the situation and ultimately decide to pull the plug on these futile efforts. I think it was the right decision. Things seem to be simpler now that I don't have to worry about how I can make progress in talking to girls. Instead, I just have to deal with things like long days and tough assignments, which are much easier by comparison. And I'll be able to focus more on my creative projects and hobbies. I might not be meeting girls by building a redstone computer, but I can at least look back on that and see a tangible product of the time I've spent. And maybe _somewhere_ down the line, I'll be doing _something_ and the right person will show up. But I can't will it into existence. That's enough rambling for now, Big Cube
@@speedycube64 This is coming from a sapphic/poly perspective but regardless I generally agree with the idea that the best way to end up in a relationship is to not focus on dating and all that stuff. All of the relationships that I've had started based off of some shared interest or hobby. My ex and I met through track. Then one of my current partners I met because we're both night owls and stayed up chatting after a friend who also does game design ran one of her latest projects. Theb my other partner I met through a shared online community where we chatted for a few years before I realized we were interested in eachother romantically. Or said another way, I've never personally had any luck with trying to date someone. I've only ever ended up in a relationship by accident 😂 so I can't give any advice beyond find people you'd want to have in your life as a best friend and if that connection happens it happens.
Man i hope you start a podcast where you talk about things, about life, and what's important I have watched the two previous videos and they are so good and I'll keep watching you. Thanks for the advices 👌🏻🌹
Can you do the video on your thoughts on ways to meet people? I am sort of a late bloomer. I’m 24 and i am still working on an undergraduate degree and haven’t yet been on a date before.
I went through that lone wolf stage for 24.5 years. I had enough of it when I fell into a relationship. I thought, wow, the wait was worth it, this girl really loves me. Then after 1 year, she randomly lost interest and dumped me, because I didn’t have a good enough job or make enough money. She also didn’t like my living situation, and said I didn’t treat her like a princess everyday. (Actual quote)
sounds like the unrealistic expectations put onto women from social media, sorry you had to deal with that :/
The entire concept of getting a girlfriend being a reward for something is completely backwards.
agreed!
My problem isn’t that I don’t know who I am yet. It’s that my GF hadn’t matured herself yet, and instead of maturing with me, she said she wanted to be single.
I've just accepted that I'm going to be lonely. I don't really care about dating at this point
i wouldn't lose hope, just try to focus on improving your life to be as fulfilling as possible and the right person will come along. it's important to extend your timeframe :)
@@solacespeaksthis- every happy relationship i’ve ever had has come at a time i was least expecting it. wanting and anticipating the right one usually led to self destruction and over analyzing shallow relationships.
@@solacespeaks The Just Die Of Old Age Pill.
CROATIA MENTIONED RAAAAAH!! 🇭🇷🇭🇷 Jokes aside i am a croatian teenager and not too long ago i got my first girlfriend, i genuinely love her and i feel like i am always apologising too much for dumb stuff but when i do not apologise i feel rude even if she is assuring me that im fine and that she loves me (we are still in the lovebombing phase), i guess i'm just afraid of losing her in the future, im really nervous about it all for some reason when i really shouldnt be.
I started to focus on myself and my business for 3 years now. And so I didn't talk to a single girl at all except customers of course.
Hello, based version 1.0 enjoyer, I hope you're prepared for a ramble that's almost longer than the video itself:
This is an interesting video. Although it's not the first time I've heard the "focus on yourself" mindset, you seem to have a somewhat unique perspective on _why_ it's a good idea. And as a result, I'm split between the "focus on yourself" mindset and the "you gotta try harder" mindset. There seem to be compelling arguments for both sides.
You see, back in August, I entered the school year with a goal to talk to girls more and start dating during said school year. As you can imagine, over five months later, that has yet to happen, and I'm not even any closer to achieving that goal than I was during the first few days. I could blame this on any number of factors: my field of study being >90% male, my own lack of confidence, the antisocial nature of today's society, etc., etc.
But that's not to say that absolutely nothing came out of that resolve. As part of my initial strategy, I joined more academic clubs, and although this didn't help me meet new girls, I did find some new activities that I genuinely enjoyed doing (journalistic satire and stand-up). I figured out through these passions that I don't actually hate writing as much as I thought I did, and now I have new ways of creative expression. So clearly this mindset of wanting to put conscious effort in has to be good for something, right?
Part of what pushed me to make this goal in the first place was societal pressure: seemingly everywhere, I hear others talking about their own dating lives, and I'm basically the last out of my friends and family to start dating. Not only have I been asked, "when are you getting a girlfriend," but it's also made me wonder, "when _is_ my turn?" Although having no dating experience at 20 isn't anywhere near "wizard" territory, it certainly seems like I'm a bit of an anomaly at times. I can also pinpoint a few times I "fumbled" in the past, so it's also something I wanna prove to myself that I can do.
Giving up this whole pursuit is tempting. If the whole idea of "I have to make progress towards becoming more confident" was scrubbed from my head, I could put 100% of my mental energy into my creative projects, including my videos. Not to mention the time I'd save from not going to a bunch of random events in the hopes of meeting new people. Although I definitely wouldn't say I'm living a life that's not true to myself, an attitude like this could help me become a more authentic person like you said.
Plus, I could take back total control of my well-being and self-esteem. Due to the lack of progress in this one specific area in my life, I've caught myself downplaying all the other good things I've done. I'll be reflecting on the past week and thinking, "yeah, I got work done on my creative projects, did well in my classes, and had some fun times, but I didn't talk to any girls this week, so it wasn't that good." Don't you see how ridiculous that is?
On the other hand, not only does giving up on something seem like a weak thing to do, but it would make me even more uncertain as to whether I'll find someone in the future. It could happen in about a year as was the case with you, but it's also easy to imagine a world where I remain single throughout all my 20s and 30s because I took no action and just kept thinking, "things will fall into place someday." Or maybe I'll miss out on meeting people I'd be compatible with because I didn't take the initiative to talk to them.
And in one of your other videos, you said that in order to feel less lonely, one of the things one should do is put conscious effort into going out more and talking to new people. Another video of yours is about how people should take more risks and try not to get too comfortable with their current conditions. It seems kind of contradictory that you make those points in those videos, yet your solution for dating-related frustration is to just wait it out and let things fall into place.
So, as I said, it's a toss up between two possible paths I could take. Not expecting you, or anyone else who might be reading, to have the answer for me; just thought I'd provide some feedback and share my own experiences on the topic. I'd definitely be interested to hear your thoughts on meeting new people, as you said at the end. Cool video, and although the format isn't revolutionary, I wish you the best in the growth of this new channel.
Inb4 "bro is yapping,"
Your Favorite Funny Minecrafter, speedycube64
Hey! I just wanted to say that I was in a place extremely similar to you a couple years ago. I’d always been super awkward when it came to talking to girls, and eventually started to try and put myself out there, meet new girls, and find the one for me. Yet for years all I could manage was a few friends that were already in relationships. I went all the way till 23 without ever having dated anyone. And then one day I met someone on a discord server that I made, found out we shared similar hobbies, played a lot of games together, and eventually they moved to a different country (my own, Canada), and we married. I’m in my mid 20s now, and it was an absolute whirlwind. I had extremely similar thoughts - would I need to wait till 30? Would I ever find someone?
In the end, it was pursuit of my own interests that found me the person I’m with today. Though I give a lot of the credit to God, as a Christian. But still.
I write this to hopefully give you some inspiration and not give up hope. And to hopefully not feel alone in your “never dated before and I’m 20+”. I was just like you, and I trust you will find someone too 🙌
@@zedwolf01
Yo, thanks for your comment. Always nice to see some support and to get a bit more perspective on how I'm not nearly the first to have this issue.
I've since given some more thought to the topic and made the decision to simply "pursue my own interests" as you put it. Among the other reasons for this decision I said earlier, I realized I had nothing to lose ('cause I wasn't talking to girls anyway) and a lot to gain by doing so. Also, looking back at the way I made most of my friends, including those I made this year, most of that was a result of things falling into place and not a product of my spree of trying to meet new people. I'd considered making this decision a while ago, but a few minor events (including coming across this video) made me re-assess the situation and ultimately decide to pull the plug on these futile efforts.
I think it was the right decision. Things seem to be simpler now that I don't have to worry about how I can make progress in talking to girls. Instead, I just have to deal with things like long days and tough assignments, which are much easier by comparison. And I'll be able to focus more on my creative projects and hobbies. I might not be meeting girls by building a redstone computer, but I can at least look back on that and see a tangible product of the time I've spent.
And maybe _somewhere_ down the line, I'll be doing _something_ and the right person will show up.
But I can't will it into existence.
That's enough rambling for now,
Big Cube
@@speedycube64
This is coming from a sapphic/poly perspective but regardless I generally agree with the idea that the best way to end up in a relationship is to not focus on dating and all that stuff. All of the relationships that I've had started based off of some shared interest or hobby. My ex and I met through track. Then one of my current partners I met because we're both night owls and stayed up chatting after a friend who also does game design ran one of her latest projects. Theb my other partner I met through a shared online community where we chatted for a few years before I realized we were interested in eachother romantically.
Or said another way, I've never personally had any luck with trying to date someone. I've only ever ended up in a relationship by accident 😂 so I can't give any advice beyond find people you'd want to have in your life as a best friend and if that connection happens it happens.
Thanks for talking about stuff like this its really chill and you have a good way of articulating your thoughts.
Man i hope you start a podcast where you talk about things, about life, and what's important I have watched the two previous videos and they are so good and I'll keep watching you. Thanks for the advices 👌🏻🌹
maybe one day! think i should upload the audio from these in podcast form too?
"Walk like a god and your goddess will come to you" - Some Wise Person Idk
I'd love to see a video from you about meeting people in dating in real life!
soon! :)
Can you do the video on your thoughts on ways to meet people? I am sort of a late bloomer. I’m 24 and i am still working on an undergraduate degree and haven’t yet been on a date before.
I really like the silver age Minecraft setting of this. Which version is it? 1.0? b1.8?
im getting backshots
That's not a real reason to lose hope. Wahmen's actual behavior (tons of abuse, false allegations, then more abuse) is the reason to lose hope.
Minecraft kids go outside: the video
Robocast AI generated voice, eh?
no this is my real voice lmao
Why do people pick Andrew Tate over Matt Walsh?
Those are both awful people
@@lievenz7167 Nah Matt Walsh is goated.
@@Alessio-j5hno, he’s a cringe radical Christian. Nothing goated about him.
@Alessio-j5h you're an idiot if you think that.
Why did you turn this channel into an emotion dump? Wasn't this supposed to be about Project Zomboid?
yeah but im burnt with video games and want to change it up a bit