I'm a 'biological' mom of a special needs son (he passed away last october at the age of 22 years old..a day I knew would someday come since he was born (doctors gave him 2 weeks to live)..and I'm also a teacher assistant in a special needs school (SCI classroom ages 5-9 years old)..you have every right to 'complain' or 'vent' as much as any parent does! Your kids grew in your heart instead of you 'belly'..they are still 100 percent yours!! SO happy I found your channel! What a beautiful family you have
Oh man! We’ve dealt with some behavior stuff and I do have a family member (a close one) that did say “you chose this”! Right, we did and we did educate ourselves on ALL the potential behavior that can come with an older child but holy heck it’s not the same to actually be walking through it (because no matter how “prepared” I think most would still be hoping that their kid will somehow be magically exempt from all those possibilities)!! I have bios & adopted and we ALL need to vent sometimes!! 😊
YES YES YES YES YES!!! The work shit especially! Thank you!!! Empathy and goes a long way and people have no clue!! Especially adopting as a single mom, the “choice” I made is thrown around or implied a lot. And the comments of “well he’s a foster child, what do you expect?” OVER IT
This is my first video of this channel. I am a mom of a special needs biological child. Not that that matters. Adopted or biological special needs child I GET IT!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I don’t feel like we get to complain and not many understand in our life. It’s SO hard but worth it! My son is now 19 but needs 24/7 supervision. My son is considered non verbal and signs and 4 years ago was introduced to an eye gaze communication device. Game changer!!!!! But he was 15 years old before this opportunity. Boy oh boy can I relate to this video!!!
I can relate. Trust me. My son has Ds and I have been on this wild adventure for 36 years. Just a word of encouragement, right when you start hitting a brick wall, Shazam! The clouds will open up. Without fail. Walking, potty training, talking and all the other milestones will happen. But in the meantime cherish these moments. You girls are doing an amazing job. Those boys are thriving. I see their sweet faces and I just melt. Omne trium perfectum >>>
My two cents: you get extra room to complain because you choose it! Because you didn’t get drunk one night and get knocked up/knock someone up. You had intentions and wanted to raise kids, knew it, went out and put it in the universe and you are now raising two beautiful little ones. The logic that you need to have birthed a child to have complaining rights is illogical. Every parent has shit that’s hard with their kids and being a parent is the only qualifier you need to vent about the shitty hard parts about it! Good topic.
I don’t usually comment on videos , but I love how real and honest you guys are. I admire you for having the courage and the big heart to adopt beautiful children with special needs. They require a lot of attention is true but you guys are giving them your heart and are providing a beautiful family for your amazing kids. I send love and positivity your way.
My son is 41, is a brother to five other siblings, an Uncle to 8 nieces and nephews, has work three days a week, can communicate enough so others can understand him( if they are willing to try), has definite likes and dislikes and has quite a sense of humour. He also happens to have been adopted and he has Down Syndrome. Yes we chose to adopt him.....or he chose us......but I never really give that a thought. He is as much ours as the other kids in our family are and I have fought for him as much as, and actually much more than his other siblings. No one in the family gives a thought to the fact that he is adopted and we usually don't even say that he is because we got sick of the "Oh how wonderful you are" type comments when we were just normal people doing what we could to survive....and sometimes it felt as if we were barely doing that. You have every right to complain.......it is hard work, frustrating and time consuming and exhausting....and it doesn't ever end. I have hit the wall many times and decided to stop fighting through sheer exhaustion and I have a little pity party and then get up and get going again. The frustrations and anxieties and fear surrounding all that you negotiate on behalf of your child with special needs can be overwhelming at times and the ignorance and hurtful attitude of others can be horrendous, but our son is a wonderful human being with amazing ability to surprise us with all the things he learns and does, long after he was supposed to have hit the end of his ability to learn anything more. Complain away dear ladies as you deserve to. Those medical issues are just the tip of the iceberg as they can be front and centre sometimes but then fall back into the background at other times but the ongoing dealing with so many ignorant, know all people can be an everyday occurrence. I just love watching you and your boys and would absolutely love to meet you all and give you a hand....a bit difficult from the other side of the world!!!....but I would do it in a heart beat!! I feel for you both and the struggle you have at times but also appreciate the joys of every achievement your boys make, You are doing a wonderful job!
Hi guys. I´m a 22 year old colombian-brazilian woman and i started following you on instagram because i wanted to change my attitude towards DS and i have to say that i see life as a whole in a new light because of you and i fell in love with your family and the way you love your kids so much but still keep it real. You dont know the positive impact you have on other people. Sending all the love from Brazil.
First of all I have followed y’all for quite awhile on social media and I absolutely love y’all!! My future in laws are adopting a special needs child (Bardet Biedl Syndrome) he is 2 and 1/2 and weights 45lbs... we help a lot with him and take him at times to give the in laws a break. He does sign to us (and thank you I have gotten some signs from y’all) and he is only crawling and speaking a handful of works with LOTS of coaching. So I can relate a lot... keep up the great videos and photos on social media!! Your boys are ADORABLE!!
You guys are amazing...I love your real ness. I am a single adoptive mom and I get that all the time that I can’t complain because I choose to adopt my son as a single parent. You are not alone...it’s hard and I get tired too! We all need to vent. I as well wouldn’t change it for anything my son is my world!!!
Hearing you guys be so real about this was amazing. We don't doubt for a second they're your world, but you're so right that in any human relationship, there are just the moments that make you dislike the situation, but not love them any less.
Thanks for keeping it real guys! I get a tiny fraction of this as I work as a nanny. If I ever complain that the kids are driving me crazy people are like “but you choose to do that as a job- it’s your own fault!”. Yes I chose it, and I love it, but I still spend 55- 65 hours per week uk to my eyeballs in dirty nappies/ toddler tantrums/ laundry- sometimes it’s tough! Especially considering that you don’t have that biological imperative to love those children unconditionally- you choose to make your life about loving them and doing your best for them! It’s basically my criteria for nanny friends that I can be like “You need to come round and provide me with some adult company, because I want to slap this kid”- and they know I’m at least 95% joking 😜
Definitely not the same, but I get this! I was a surrogate and got told many times I have no right to complain about the pregnancy pains, issues etc because I chose to get pregnant
You are MY people!!!!! I surround myself like minded parents such as yourselves. If for nothing more than making fun of the other types of parents! Lol!
Omg I love you guys!!! It’s all so true! Parenting is hard!! I often say sometimes I just want to punch my kids 😂 I don’t but they have a way of frustrating you to that point!!
Best episode so far, you guys are great! I would love to see more shots of the boys inbeween while you're explaining something, but of course I'd totally understand if you don't want to show them online even more!
Of course you should get to complain!! In fact you should get to complain more because you adopted kids that a lot of other people think are ‘too hard’ On a side note Happy Birthday!!
Omglob. I don’t have a special needs child. I cant begin to even compare. My boys who are 2&3 are literally obsessed. With me. I get that. I never get to enjoy a few moments at a park or to read. I even have to hold one of them while I’m pushing a cart at the store. Thanks. They never want anyone but me. I love that about them but also don’t.
Have you experienced the different outlook from health care workers while in hospital - im a clinical nurse educator and wonder if its a topic that should be discussed?!? I would hope not :-(
I’m in a same sex relationship as well, do you think that adoptive parent erasure has anything to do with being a two mom family? Just curious on your perspective as a fellow Canadian!
Love this family! Missing my old job of 30 years working with special needs kids and adults! You both are so amazing and I’d love to sit and drink wine with you guys and shoot the shit!
100%! There has been many times where I wanted to Homer Simpson my 3 kids! (8yr old twin girls and a 3yr boy) AND my hubby! I always call people out when they say they have never felt incredibly frustrated with their family. dont lie to me!
I thought people would be more sympathetic to adoption and to special needs children. Maybe it's different here (I live in Sweden) or maybe I just don't have enough experience. But I'm still baffled people behave like such assholes. It's still children! And adoption is just as legit as giving birth!
You’re a parent. Regardless of how it came about, you have a right to complain. Everyone has that right. You all do a great job of showing love to your boys and doing your best. Of course you have a right to complain as well, drink your beer and complain hahaha go for shit 🖤
Their loss...they arnt Mommies to your lovely boys.....you are the lucky ones....they had kids the easy way.....i bet if you had IVF, which is as hard and heartbreaking and joyful as adoption, they would give you a fruit basket.....lucky really that they didnt begrudgingly give you one as an after thought, they would have had the bananas shoved up their butts!...So what would happen if one of them were lucky/blessed enough to give birth to a special needs baby?...i guess the Fruit Basket organisers heads would explode with choosing to give one .... (not to add to the weight of carrying the boys and bags into kids parties, but maybe you can make Jaxon up his own party food to his required recipe in a lunch box..fancy dairy free cup cakes ect...maybe his ice cream in a tiny cooler?...i bet the other kids will think he is very lucky..and you arnt asking the party Mom to make separate food for him)
Interesting to hear your opininion. What kind of microfone you have? It's not good as many other youtubers. I'm from Finland and I have to consentrate that I hear you two. I hope you buy new microfone. 😊
I wanna follow your insta account what is it again? PS you guys are absolutely incredible I have seen you out in public. I wanted to engage with Jaxon but thought it would be weird. He looks like such a happy boy love watching the jax and Niko account
I'm a 'biological' mom of a special needs son (he passed away last october at the age of 22 years old..a day I knew would someday come since he was born (doctors gave him 2 weeks to live)..and I'm also a teacher assistant in a special needs school (SCI classroom ages 5-9 years old)..you have every right to 'complain' or 'vent' as much as any parent does! Your kids grew in your heart instead of you 'belly'..they are still 100 percent yours!! SO happy I found your channel! What a beautiful family you have
Oh man! We’ve dealt with some behavior stuff and I do have a family member (a close one) that did say “you chose this”! Right, we did and we did educate ourselves on ALL the potential behavior that can come with an older child but holy heck it’s not the same to actually be walking through it (because no matter how “prepared” I think most would still be hoping that their kid will somehow be magically exempt from all those possibilities)!! I have bios & adopted and we ALL need to vent sometimes!! 😊
YES YES YES YES YES!!! The work shit especially! Thank you!!! Empathy and goes a long way and people have no clue!! Especially adopting as a single mom, the “choice” I made is thrown around or implied a lot. And the comments of “well he’s a foster child, what do you expect?” OVER IT
This is my first video of this channel. I am a mom of a special needs biological child. Not that that matters. Adopted or biological special needs child I GET IT!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I don’t feel like we get to complain and not many understand in our life. It’s SO hard but worth it! My son is now 19 but needs 24/7 supervision. My son is considered non verbal and signs and 4 years ago was introduced to an eye gaze communication device. Game changer!!!!! But he was 15 years old before this opportunity. Boy oh boy can I relate to this video!!!
I can relate. Trust me. My son has Ds and I have been on this wild adventure for 36 years. Just a word of encouragement, right when you start hitting a brick wall, Shazam! The clouds will open up. Without fail. Walking, potty training, talking and all the other milestones will happen. But in the meantime cherish these moments. You girls are doing an amazing job. Those boys are thriving. I see their sweet faces and I just melt. Omne trium perfectum >>>
My two cents: you get extra room to complain because you choose it! Because you didn’t get drunk one night and get knocked up/knock someone up. You had intentions and wanted to raise kids, knew it, went out and put it in the universe and you are now raising two beautiful little ones. The logic that you need to have birthed a child to have complaining rights is illogical. Every parent has shit that’s hard with their kids and being a parent is the only qualifier you need to vent about the shitty hard parts about it! Good topic.
That is one of the best things I have read!! Thank you!!!
I don’t usually comment on videos , but I love how real and honest you guys are. I admire you for having the courage and the big heart to adopt beautiful children with special needs. They require a lot of attention is true but you guys are giving them your heart and are providing a beautiful family for your amazing kids. I send love and positivity your way.
Can you go through all your tattoos? Now I'm intrigued about this Celine Dion tattoo, lol.
We totally should one day! That's a great idea!!
Me and my girlfriend just were texting today about our “asshole kids”.
My son is 41, is a brother to five other siblings, an Uncle to 8 nieces and nephews, has work three days a week, can communicate enough so others can understand him( if they are willing to try), has definite likes and dislikes and has quite a sense of humour. He also happens to have been adopted and he has Down Syndrome. Yes we chose to adopt him.....or he chose us......but I never really give that a thought. He is as much ours as the other kids in our family are and I have fought for him as much as, and actually much more than his other siblings. No one in the family gives a thought to the fact that he is adopted and we usually don't even say that he is because we got sick of the "Oh how wonderful you are" type comments when we were just normal people doing what we could to survive....and sometimes it felt as if we were barely doing that. You have every right to complain.......it is hard work, frustrating and time consuming and exhausting....and it doesn't ever end. I have hit the wall many times and decided to stop fighting through sheer exhaustion and I have a little pity party and then get up and get going again. The frustrations and anxieties and fear surrounding all that you negotiate on behalf of your child with special needs can be overwhelming at times and the ignorance and hurtful attitude of others can be horrendous, but our son is a wonderful human being with amazing ability to surprise us with all the things he learns and does, long after he was supposed to have hit the end of his ability to learn anything more. Complain away dear ladies as you deserve to. Those medical issues are just the tip of the iceberg as they can be front and centre sometimes but then fall back into the background at other times but the ongoing dealing with so many ignorant, know all people can be an everyday occurrence. I just love watching you and your boys and would absolutely love to meet you all and give you a hand....a bit difficult from the other side of the world!!!....but I would do it in a heart beat!! I feel for you both and the struggle you have at times but also appreciate the joys of every achievement your boys make, You are doing a wonderful job!
Hi guys. I´m a 22 year old colombian-brazilian woman and i started following you on instagram because i wanted to change my attitude towards DS and i have to say that i see life as a whole in a new light because of you and i fell in love with your family and the way you love your kids so much but still keep it real. You dont know the positive impact you have on other people. Sending all the love from Brazil.
daniella c thank you!
First of all I have followed y’all for quite awhile on social media and I absolutely love y’all!! My future in laws are adopting a special needs child (Bardet Biedl Syndrome) he is 2 and 1/2 and weights 45lbs... we help a lot with him and take him at times to give the in laws a break. He does sign to us (and thank you I have gotten some signs from y’all) and he is only crawling and speaking a handful of works with LOTS of coaching. So I can relate a lot... keep up the great videos and photos on social media!! Your boys are ADORABLE!!
I love "I just wanna Homer Simpson her". So true!
You guys are amazing...I love your real ness. I am a single adoptive mom and I get that all the time that I can’t complain because I choose to adopt my son as a single parent. You are not alone...it’s hard and I get tired too! We all need to vent. I as well wouldn’t change it for anything my son is my world!!!
Hearing you guys be so real about this was amazing. We don't doubt for a second they're your world, but you're so right that in any human relationship, there are just the moments that make you dislike the situation, but not love them any less.
Thanks for keeping it real guys! I get a tiny fraction of this as I work as a nanny. If I ever complain that the kids are driving me crazy people are like “but you choose to do that as a job- it’s your own fault!”. Yes I chose it, and I love it, but I still spend 55- 65 hours per week uk to my eyeballs in dirty nappies/ toddler tantrums/ laundry- sometimes it’s tough! Especially considering that you don’t have that biological imperative to love those children unconditionally- you choose to make your life about loving them and doing your best for them! It’s basically my criteria for nanny friends that I can be like “You need to come round and provide me with some adult company, because I want to slap this kid”- and they know I’m at least 95% joking 😜
Love you both for always keeping it real!
I love how you tell the truth instead of making everything look oerfect! You’re perfect!:)
Definitely not the same, but I get this! I was a surrogate and got told many times I have no right to complain about the pregnancy pains, issues etc because I chose to get pregnant
Hockey video!!! Maybe a vlog at the hockey? And Jaxsons hockey stuff collection
You are MY people!!!!! I surround myself like minded parents such as yourselves. If for nothing more than making fun of the other types of parents! Lol!
The fruit basket 😂😂
Omg I love you guys!!! It’s all so true! Parenting is hard!! I often say sometimes I just want to punch my kids 😂 I don’t but they have a way of frustrating you to that point!!
You nailed it!!!! Very well said.
Best episode so far, you guys are great!
I would love to see more shots of the boys inbeween while you're explaining something, but of course I'd totally understand if you don't want to show them online even more!
I love you guys! You are awesome parents and people! Happy bday Alex!
I think you guys are amazing! Love your video's.
I’m fucking love you two!!!! (And your kids)
Happy birthday Alex, I like this venting video.
I fucking love you people!
You guys rock. Thanks for a perspective I never had before!
Of course you should get to complain!! In fact you should get to complain more because you adopted kids that a lot of other people think are ‘too hard’
On a side note Happy Birthday!!
“I’m the birth dad” 😂😂
Omglob. I don’t have a special needs child. I cant begin to even compare. My boys who are 2&3 are literally obsessed. With me. I get that. I never get to enjoy a few moments at a park or to read. I even have to hold one of them while I’m pushing a cart at the store. Thanks. They never want anyone but me. I love that about them but also don’t.
Have you experienced the different outlook from health care workers while in hospital - im a clinical nurse educator and wonder if its a topic that should be discussed?!? I would hope not :-(
I’m in a same sex relationship as well, do you think that adoptive parent erasure has anything to do with being a two mom family? Just curious on your perspective as a fellow Canadian!
I fucking love you guys
Love this family! Missing my old job of 30 years working with special needs kids and adults! You both are so amazing and I’d love to sit and drink wine with you guys and shoot the shit!
Can you take a little tub of dairy free ice cream with you to parties? It's not perfect but it might help.
100%! There has been many times where I wanted to Homer Simpson my 3 kids! (8yr old twin girls and a 3yr boy) AND my hubby! I always call people out when they say they have never felt incredibly frustrated with their family. dont lie to me!
And the fruit basket story is really so sad.
You two are hilarious!
Yes you are allowed to complain. Just because you chose to have special needs kiddos, doesn’t mean it is easy. Y’all are human!!!
I thought people would be more sympathetic to adoption and to special needs children. Maybe it's different here (I live in Sweden) or maybe I just don't have enough experience. But I'm still baffled people behave like such assholes. It's still children! And adoption is just as legit as giving birth!
You should show Jaxy and Niko in the episodes more
You’re a parent. Regardless of how it came about, you have a right to complain. Everyone has that right. You all do a great job of showing love to your boys and doing your best. Of course you have a right to complain as well, drink your beer and complain hahaha go for shit 🖤
Happy birthday Alex!
Happy birthday!
Their loss...they arnt Mommies to your lovely boys.....you are the lucky ones....they had kids the easy way.....i bet if you had IVF, which is as hard and heartbreaking and joyful as adoption, they would give you a fruit basket.....lucky really that they didnt begrudgingly give you one as an after thought, they would have had the bananas shoved up their butts!...So what would happen if one of them were lucky/blessed enough to give birth to a special needs baby?...i guess the Fruit Basket organisers heads would explode with choosing to give one .... (not to add to the weight of carrying the boys and bags into kids parties, but maybe you can make Jaxon up his own party food to his required recipe in a lunch box..fancy dairy free cup cakes ect...maybe his ice cream in a tiny cooler?...i bet the other kids will think he is very lucky..and you arnt asking the party Mom to make separate food for him)
Everyone has the right to complain and people need to get things off their chests
Happy birthday Alex!!
I think your job attitude about adoption sucks. It doesn't Matter if you birth them or not you should get the same right
Buy Nico 😂😂😂
OMG I love you guys
Interesting to hear your opininion. What kind of microfone you have? It's not good as many other youtubers. I'm from Finland and I have to consentrate that I hear you two. I hope you buy new microfone. 😊
Can fun fact at the end of the video become a thing?
I wanna follow your insta account what is it again?
PS you guys are absolutely incredible I have seen you out in public. I wanted to engage with Jaxon but thought it would be weird. He looks like such a happy boy love watching the jax and Niko account
instagram.com/femmefire_mh/
You can totally say hi if you see us out and about! Jax loves when people chat with him and we absolutely appreciate it when people let us know :)
Why don't we ever see the boys??
What are Jaxon's dietary restrictions and why?
He has celiacs and is allergic to dairy (cows milk protein) which fingers crossed he will grow out of the dairy allergy!
Why did you decide to give up on his walker? :)
We just gave up on taking it to and from school. we just leave it at school now. Too much to carry
Happy birthday Alex!