Does Happiness Make You Happy?
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
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Vsauce2 dives into the fundamental meaning behind the concept of "happy" and how our twisted modern take on happiness is making things measurably worse. What is the paradox of chasing happiness? And how to things we think will make us happy actually lead to depression?
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"Ignorance is bliss"
Damn that's basically the federal minimum wage for tipped workers
Nord is better
@@VEVOJavier Indeed
I was expecting at least a mention of the hedonic treadmill, but great video nonetheless
I never thought of happiness as a byproduct. It makes so much sense now! Happiness comes from living well, not the other way around. This video might have just changed my life. Thank you Kevin and everyone at Vsauce!
i live unwell but im happy rn
What does "living well" even mean?
@@sourdface I suppose it means you don’t want things to change. Or I suppose it’s that your “content” with your life. What ever that means. It’s subjective. But the point is you won’t get “contentness” from happiness but you will get happiness from being content with your life.
All emotions are byproducts of our interpretation of events in our lives. For example:
Event > you receive a traffic ticket.
Thought > “I can’t afford a ticket right now!”
Behavior > you may feel anxious or angry. This inhibits your ability to perform effectively on the job.
Understanding that our thoughts control our emotions can help develop self-awareness & ultimately make you a more resilient individual. In the example above, you can see that if you change the thought, you’ll change the behavior.
@@baptixmI sort of get the point but how do you not think about a traffic ticket you can't afford? Especially if the person is barely getting along on their pay as is. The traffic ticket could have large consequences outside the ticket itself if a solution isn't found.
I also can't imagine how you get out from a concentration camp with your closest loved ones dead and come out the same let alone for the better? How can you describe such an event in a positive manner that you can convince yourself of?
I could tell myself I am grateful thw ticket wasn't larger but I doubt I would actually believe that.
Wow Keven, you outdid yourself on this one. Marvelous content in here. The part about seeing a friend almost daily in childhood and youngest struck a cords. Society isn't designed to facilitate this anymore with divorces, highways, jobs, real estates prices, etc. Anyways, I'm glad you are doing well lately.
American* society
@@impooping69 That's two whole continents.
I agree with most of this, but I'd argue that divorce doesn't stop people from achieving happiness. If used wisely, divorce can allow couples to get out of marriages that are taking a wrong turn and aren't reconcilable. Unhappy marriages seem to be a fairly common thing, and if couple counselling doesn't help, then divorce might be the second best option.
@@hanhong2267 for the parents, yes it is probably good. For the children, they now have two houses. Usually, to see a friend almost daily, this friend have to be in the neighbourhood. Some divorce parents don't even live in the same city. This is why I suggested that divorce probably make its harder for children to see the same friend(s) on almost daily frequency. Assuming a shared childs custody.
I agree with your point that this video is great content, as we have learned to expect from Vsauce. I think you missed a point, though, at 8:59. Living well given your own set of circumstances should transcend your complaints of modern society. Regardless of whether you adopt that philosophy, try looking through a different lens. For example, highways can enable people to be physically together, and some people get a lot of satisfaction from their jobs. Along with your other points, these are part of our present society that are valuable. I like the idea of living well given your circumstances, so I'm going to try to identify my own highways, jobs, and real estate prices to find ways of living well with them and appreciating the people and things around me. Just some food for thought.
I truly feel as if I am a happy person. I feel it most when I express/acknowledge gratitude throughout my day. Oddly, I've had people who have become "upset" with me because, as they have stated, "no one should be that happy."
One of my favourite quotes of all time that I try to always remember is "Success is not the key to Happiness, Happiness is the key to Success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful". Like it was mentioned in the video, happiness is not an end goal but a state of being and "living well".
Be content with what you have and your circumstances. But do not let that keep you comfortable in your place, do better if you have the choice to do so.
I will!
Why not be comfortable in your place? Can you be both content and want? I think we've been told so much to never stop, never settle on to bigger and better. Ultimately I believe both are good for different people
@@sisa_james This is the right advice, nothing works for everyone.
@@sisa_james it would indeed be ridiculous to assume everyone reaches happiness the same way. I for one am rather content and happy just taking things slow and at my time. But I have a friend who almost feels like he has to do something as doing nothing reminds him of his depressive period. And now in uni studying and working hard he's got his life a lot more together and is a lot happier. We take very different approaches to life, and I do agree that doing "nothing" is a bit much. But for me it's less doing nothing, and more so having nothing forced upon me externally, being free to just do as I wish day to day. Me being very lazy and slow to start new things has lead to that lifestyle composing of a lot of games and media because that's comfortable. Though I do put effort into drawing as well as music at times as I do enjoy those things.
I guess it makes sense that living even better would cause you to be even happier, at least in the long run. However, the actions that lead to better living can sometimes be very difficult to perform, which can cause temporary unhappiness. As a result, most people choose to simply stay where they are.
Yes, thank you for making this video!
I vividly remember my first day of school, how I cried and how I hated it. And you know, these sort of things are normal, but for me, this lingering feeling kind of never went away.
I simply did not want to be a part of the current system of society, it felt wrong. And yet, everyone was doing it and everyone around me was like "study hard, work hard, make a family - this is happiness, this is the meaning of life"!
So I thought "maybe something is wrong with me, but I don't feel like this IS IT".
I went through school thinking I was meant to be a failure and might end up homeless, because I had bad grades and couldn't focus while teachers were trying to force-feed me stuff I wouldn't even practically use in my everyday life.
After school, my parents pressured me into uni - I lasted three years and quit - best decision I ever made. The environment was so incredibly toxic, but not as toxic as the corporate world.
Still, I somehow I managed to bullshit my way through the system and kind of made it work for me, meaning I managed to get a well paying job that I don't completely hate.
Is this what I want to do with my life? Hell no, but for now it's alright, because while I don't buy into the BS of the corporate entity I'm working for, I'm blessed to have a boss that is incredibly compassionate and on-point and I have the luck of working with literally my best friends.
To get to this point, I also experienced what it's like to be a manager in a corporate environment... this almost broke me, but I am so grateful for that experience. At least it let me know that I do want to help people grow and not manage and treat them as disposable assets. And that I will never think of applying for a managerial position in a corporate environment, of course.
At the end of the day, happiness is what you make it and I think this video nails the idea of it too - it's YOU, AS A HUMAN BEING THRIVING!
I'm not there yet, but I do make my life manageable, by focusing on just enjoying myself and being thankful for the friends and family I am blessed to have. I don't need a career or anything like that and I'm really confused by people, who make this their end game. I mean if that what thriving is for you, by all means, but generally I don't think that's the answer.
Ah, if only the world wasn't run by corporate propaganda and the majority of governments weren't into that shit, I think we as a species would be living in a literal utopia... and yet here we are, with technology that is meant to connect us more than ever, but we've never been more divided.
It's the tragedy of our modern times and I only hope we all collectively awaken at some point and embrace the fact that we are ALL ONE and stop suffocating each other.
I share some of your same thoughts and experiences. I think you must be way ahead of the game in your heart and mind. You are definitely not alone tho❤️
LOVED this one! I've always thought it was impossible for "happy" to be a base state... Happiness is defined by its contrast with sadness, so for us to feel joy we must also experience pain. Perspective is key. Some of the happiest people I know have been through some of the worst suffering.
Wow, I actually didn't know that.
I don't think one need to stub their toe to know what a pain-free life feels like, so much as I don't think someone need to be depressed at some point in their life to know what joy feels like. I think the key is simply to be content with what you have and not desire more... given you don't live under a bridge, of course.
@@nazurinn13 It makes you more content with normal day to day life because you have more perspective on what it’s like to be in pain. Ik I’m more grateful and content just being around people I feel comfortable with after feeling depressed and isolated for the last couple months.
I see where you're coming from. I don't think misery gives happiness "meaning", though. Having a purpose and a goal to work towards leads to success, which is the most consistent form of happiness.
If this is the case then I’ll live forever
Sad but true.
27th September 2038 (lol)
@@mocerlaalacbainothat is the 76th most terrifying thing I've seen today
Yikes friend. But possibly same
That's a big "if" tbh
I have watched dozens of videos and read many articles trying to make sense of "happiness". This is, by far, my favorite explanation.
It seems like there's no way to untangle the correlation=/=causation issues here. Since it seems obvious that the people who are the happiest wouldn't be the one's actively trying to seek it, since already happy people don't have an impetus to seek happiness. This feels akin to concluding that therapy causes mental illness or that trying to find food causes hunger, the causal relationship here seems to be completely the opposite of what's being claimed.
Something I think about often on this subject is "meaning" and "purpose." I feel like they are the strongest tools we have to push through the hardships of our own life and allow us to not negatively fixate on the boons of others around us. Feeling that you are here for a reason helps you look at the bad times, even the worst of bad times, as just steps to a larger thing. This doesn't stop you from feeling sadness or hopelessness, but knowing that your problems are only temporary (or even that they're meant to help you grow) can really help you focus on living better with what you have.
Happiness start when you stop hunting it. Just enjoy the moment or change if you want something different. But happiness should be a goal it self. As its a mental state. Its not something that just apear when you got everything you want. You have to think you have it all instead of having it all.
Happiness start or not when you stop hunting it. Happiness is luck :)
My Mom told me a story a long time ago about when she was young, maybe high school or college. She was struggling with depression and just couldn't see anything good in her life. So she started writing what good she could see down in a note book, not expecting her list to be very long. She surprised herself by turning the page to keep writing. It didn't Solve her depression, but she realized she had more to look forward to than she thought.
I know that some people's lists might not be that long, but there might be more there than you realize.
I never really chased for “happiness” I've always just been miserable because I've never “lived well” and my entire life has been a sort of fight for my life and I've been miserable because somewhere along that struggle I gave up internally I realized that I will never truly be in a good position and that thing won't get better or at least they won't get as good as I want my life to be
so I guess maybe that's why I'm still around- I don't have any real standards and I'm just “satisfied enough” to just be glad there's some food in the fridge 🙁
but I don't *feel* happy- I feel terrible- I'm starved and thin... I’m alone...
Happiness is an emotion, and like all emotions it’s fleeting…
And like all emotions, I have none
I really don't understand emotions I only show people what they want to see and mimic what around me because I know it's more likely to get me what I want.
@@xenondestiny Damn you are a very "special" Edgelord ... aren´t you?
If you feld angry by reading my mocking comment, or any other negative feeling,
i have then proven you wrong in this, you do have emotions.
What you feel is maybe some dullness, some sort of emotionally coldness.
This could come from some sort of Depression, or Sociopathy, in any case, i can just give you the advice, of seeking psychological help.
@@dio_Brando1888 But if you have desire, you already need emotions dont you? Or are youre desires truly just basic needs like Food and Water and so on?
From your Name i would guess, you watch Jojos Bizarre Adventure, this doenst help you in any way to survive,
so why watch it?
Ask your self, If you would feel nothing whilst watching it, why would you watch it at all, why do you seem to like it then, how can you like something, when you dont have any feelings?
Same bro
"Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible."
- Epictetus
A big part of what we're doing wrong is thinking about happiness in terms of the dopamine response. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with short-term thrills from things that are fun. The problem with that is the short-term nature of the response. It passes quickly and we are back where we started, left wanting more.
You were onto something when you brought up "meaning." It's that sense of interconnection and purpose we're losing more and more to lifestyles based on the atomic family and online relationships. We need to bring back easy community interaction, but we've largely stopped talking to our neighbors in person. Volunteering and activism can help though, as can projects of personal growth to some degree.
My life philosophy has always been one of solving problems head on, instead of drowning them in happiness. It just seemed obvious that whatever distractions I use to make myself happy, will inevitably be undercut by the fact that the problem still exists.
True, happiness is a byproduct of a life well lived. To me I see a flourishing life as one where a person has freedom, money helps in setting one free but up to a certain level, the rest of the freedom comes from exercising our own hobbies, talents and passions.
Look up the affects of "freedom" on happiness. It's not good. You can also look up "playground theory" and "paradox of choice".
Thank you for this video!
I've independently arrived at this conclusion a long time ago, but it's very difficult to convince people otherwise. When you tell people to not seek happiness, the image you present is not convincing, to say the least.
By the time most people understand this, they've usually wasted a lot of time. But at least they realize it. What's truly sad is that some people never realize this at all.
It's hard to put into words how meaningful such a conclusion as this is, and how much this video means to me. Thank you Kevin, for pusuing education even when changes in algorithms discourage doing so. I hope this comment finds you well, and that you continue doing what you do best.
This is one of the best videos you made on this channel, Kevin. Thank you so much. I’ve always understood that expectation is what affects one’s happiness the most and it’s all relatively not absolute. But I’ve never thought about how the act of pursuing happiness is what’s thwarting it. Also, happiness being a byproduct? Wow, it’s so true but somehow I’ve never thought about it that way. Thank you so much for making this.
"don't Happy, Be Worry" Ferrin McBobby
I don't know how or what the studies are done on, but I am pretty sure that a person who does not have to worry about how to get food, water, shelter and entertainment is consistently happier on more occassions than a person who has to worry about them often. Sounds like the studies were poorly done or were measuring something related to happiness and not the consistency of it.
Actually, no, as humans, we are always in search of "doing" stuff. So, in our brains, we treat the need for shelter in the same way as someone who doesn't need to worry about it treats how they'll become more attractive. It isn't about what we thrive/need, it's about the fact that we thrive and need, regardless of what it is.
@@Lanium Exactly, what you are describing is not happiness, it's satisfaction, complete satisfaction is unachievable because happiness is what our brains reward us with for satisfying our needs, but we always have needs so it's impossible to reach a constant state of happiness unless you are content, but if you are content you also might as well be dead or a rock. But in general a person who has their basic needs met are consistently happier than those who don't and I don't mean they have a higher spike in happiness I mean over the course of a given range of time, they display a higher accounts of happiness than otherwise.
@@Ali-cya theres is literally not one person in the us who has their “needs taken care of” as far as they’re concerned though and thats the issue. Even though we do mostly all have housing and food and all the necessities, in our sort of culture you are ingrained with the idea that you will always need a better paying job eventually to keep up with inflation, and alot of what you’d want to do for a career is locked off behind 100,000+ dollar schooling. So now we need more than just our basic needs met to be happy in a 1st world country compared to needing the basics to be content when you live a simpler life
@@quappo Do you really have housing and food if tomorrow you decide to take an extensive break resulting in you losing you job thus scrambling to find a job so you don't lose your basic necessities ? Even more so that people with houses are less and less and the people that are renting or paying a mortgage is going higher ? Just because you have your needs met at a point doesn't mean you have them secured, if you meet your needs without a form of consistent security you might as well not have them. Also look at the studies on the happiness of people living on working minimum wage versus those who make hundreds of thousands a month. You will see a clear and extreme difference in happiness level and consistency of happiness levels.
6:10
Respectfully, because I'm sure it took a lot of work to put this together AND I thank you for spending the time on it, this seems like a semantic argument.
Possibly, but it can still have a profound effect on someone that needs to hear it. It might depend on your own culture or personal experience. There are a lot of people who try to link their happiness and self-worth to goals, achievements and external factors. Modern marketing is designed to reinforce and exploit this. It's the complete opposite world view of what I think Kevin is talking about which is the concept of 'gratitude'.
Excellent video!
And I can confirm that even in Arabic, the word for "happiness" (سعادة - saâda) comes from the root "سعد - saâd" which means "fortune". I've never noticed that before!
I've realized in recent years how much perspective plays a role in a person's ability to even be open to happiness. Nothing has helped my ability to be happy more than changing my expectations in life, and expanding my idea of what can be a "good" life for myself. Truly enjoying the small things and realizing what I can and can't control. Removing toxic influences.
This is why philosophy is so important. It can help each of us find meaning and purpose in life, our position in the world, our beliefs
And by understanding oneself and one's own circumstances can one live well
I promise you that ignorance can lead to total chaos, even tho knowledge may not correlate with happiness.
Eudaimonia is a word we lost. But because of this, video had been found and will now flourish.
A thankful heart is a happy heart.
Be Well, Live Long, and Prosper.
These videos are criminally underrated
It feels a lot like the 'perfection is the enemy of good' kind of situation, where we obsess over happiness and spoil our own contentedness, another reason that more money doesn't have much effect, money doesn't buy happiness, but enough to fend off stress and worry can give you the space to be content etc
I first learned about Victor Frankl in an accidental experiment. I bought his Man’s Search for Meaning at the same time as a dinky little self-help book. I read them at the same time, finishing on the same night. Frankl’s book was about his grinding days in a Nazi labor camp, followed by philosophizing and psychologizing about those experiences. The self-help book was about an early form of the law of attraction. Why self-help authors think they know something about science, I haven’t a clue. When I finish them, I knew one book was one of the great books of history, and the other left me no smarter than I was before. Since then, I’ve wondered about the meaning of my life. I’m not sure I found it, but I’m zeroing in on it.
"On paper, we should be happier."
Only if your paper was purely consumerist-materialist in nature.
“Happiness is available. Please help yourself to it.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
I have found that happiness comes from enjoying simple things like good food - tasty, healthy food. Have a ritualistic life. Not ritualistic as in religious, but ritualistic as in having a weekly routine that you repeat every week. Such a routine would consist of activities that bring you joy and that you look forward to. To prevent monotony you can gradually change the routine over time. But having fun activities that you look forward to on a weekly/daily basis really adds to happiness. Included in the fun activities should be some very engaging hobby that you are passionate about.
Another thing that I've found which in is line with what is stated in the video is this: avoid chasing society-prescribed goals and values like seeking social status and advancing materially just to make an impression on others or to avoid others looking down on you as a non-achiever. Don't be bothered with others' perceptions of your self. You live *your* life at *your* pace with *your own* goals to make *you* happy. Don't try to live the society-prescribed script of what constitutes a happy, successful person.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with trying to advance materially or career-wise - just as long as that is what *you* truly want and are passionate about, rather than just doing it out of societal pressure to present as a successful person.
It's also important to do what you can to be healthy. Eat healthily - but not by eating healthy foods you hate. Eat healthy foods you love. That way it would be easy to continue eating healthy. Get exercise. But don't exercise as a chore. Exercise as a hobby sport you enjoy. Get your exercise while having fun instead of as a drudgery. Being healthy contributes to mental health which fosters happiness. Being unhealthy can sometimes manifest in part, as depression. Being physically sick also doesn't contribute to happiness.
Gratitude and nature relate strongly to happiness. Technology and consumerism, rob your happiness.
I found it fascinating when i hear people are chasing after happiness...
Happiness is a state of mind when you are contempt with what you have, while also looking for the future of success...
Sometimes is best to just be, while also not longing for something that are out of reach...
And need to learn to live with it...
I started reading “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck” and the topic both the book and this video cover overlap a surprising amount to the point that I will recommend the book to those who find this analysis about happiness interesting
7:43 quote from book 'Man's search for meaning' by Viktor Frankl.
Daniel khaneman won a noble price in the realm of psychology and human behaviour, he suggests that happiness can be looked from 2 perspectives: one is the happiness I'm experiencing right now, for example, if i just won something I'll be happier for a relatively short time. The other aspect is long term achievements, or as he says - "what are u proud of?", It means for example your family, your work, maybe your dog make u bit more happy, ur wife etc... In my opinion the more short aspect happy the less long aspect happy u have. Try to not fall into short and quick and have the long term happiness, in my opinion that's better and this view helped me
This is the second video I've seen that says this and it leaves me with some doubts and questions. I suppose the main question is what is the happiness that people are seeking? Also what is the method of seeking it?
There are several things that it's well known can improve how you feel: exercise, creative exercise, time with nature, novelty, social connection, etc. It might be that what this idea is really referring to when it talks about pursuing happiness is when you think "If I do this/get this then I will be happy" and use that as your motivation. It is true that when you expect the result of something to be a particular state of being you will almost never be satisfactorily correct as the building of your state of being involves way more than just that one thing. It's also true that going through something with the constant expectation of it making you happy will distract you from really engaging with it. However, it is also entirely possible to make the rational conclusion that doing something will make you feel better and then do it for that reason and ending up feeling better.
Ok Frankl, I’ll say the same thing I’ve told every therapist I’ve ever been to: if I could simply choose to be positive do you not think I would’ve done that already? I did not get that superpower. If something bothers me I can’t just will myself into being unbothered by it. And in the USA in the year of our lord 2023, there’s a lot to be bothered about
This video needs alot of spotlight, top shelf stuff
A dog of wisdom once told me "You can not fetch happiness. Happy happens."
My exact same thoughts
Happy has to happen?
@@abandonedhhhv yes, it has too
It’s kinda hard to be happy when you constantly see people who are ‘doing better than you’ on social media, hearing only bad news about our planet and it’s portrayed as though we’re all gonna die the next few years, laws are being passed that just make everyone angry and this trend of nihilism and pessimism in general nowadays where all the values that have worked for hunderds of years are being thrown out the window under the name of ‘modernization’ (while actually those values made it so that there was a boundary to all the markets and companies are trying to broaden them so they can earn even more money). To be honest, i’m pretty happy in general myself because i have found my way of optimism, but i have had that state of hopelessness before. I understand why people feel that way.
Thank you for teaching me about Vikor Frankl. Really puts your own worries into place and makes you think, atleast it does for me
Thats crazy, as soon as you mentioned “some people are born with less problems” I immediately thought about Viktor Frankl. I’m not much of a reader but in school they made us read some of his books and his idea of “suffering is realtive” just stuck with me for ever
Never thought about happiness this way, and for years, it was something I didn't truly understand. Now, it's an understanding of perception. A state achievable through a few small, simple steps. A state that provides more than the sum of its parts. It's an amazing thing.
Another beautiful video, I'm loving what vsauce 2 has become over the years
Contentment is not found in the pursuit of happiness, but rather in the happiness of pursuit
I feel like the description is missing a list of sources
This video made me realize that searching for “happiness” i just searching for luck. We look like those people playing their children’s birthday on lottery tickets or slapping the slot machine to stop at the right time we’re literally betting on what superficial thing we think will make us “happy” instead of just trying to be good people in the hopes the universe will return the favor
desire is the root of all problems.
This video is a must see. Such a shame the algo is not pushing it into people more.
Remember: "If Mama ain't happy, nobody happy" :P
~Gazi
I last met friends in 2020. I live in a diaspora. Meeting my friends every day feels like a dream of a fantasy of an impossible world.
In greek, happiness is translated to ευτυχία (eftehea), literally meaning "good luck". I had never noticed this fact. Eudaimonia is also a greek word, and it translates to "good demon". Strange but reasonable, if we consider that demon has a different meaning in the word eudaimonia. We could actually say that demon is used to refer to the soul. Eudaimonia means, in a way, being internally happy, emotionally satisfied, and feelings free. And it is representeing long-term satisfaction and freedom of the soul, not just short-term "happiness". It implies psychological balance and mental health. It literally means that the "demon" into you is ... good. Sadly, eudaimonia is a word rarely used, even in greece, while happiness / ευτυχία is almost always used to describe eudaimonia. But it's not actually about the words. It's about our understanding of it. And, as wisely said in the video, we cannot achieve happiness by chasing happiness.
It's funny how we seem to find more answers about life when we stop looking for them. -We've been tricked to think we need to know, in order to grow. Yet Growth comes from with-in our soul when we fully learn to let go. That urge we have to need to know is a internal issue correlated towards being in control. Once we can find contentment in the unknown we can work on finding peace with-in fear. The universe we live in is so vast. Time goes so fast you don't realize how much could Last. It's unrealistic to try and ask for it to reveal the answers that might be under it's mask. It's like trying to ask a River to not twist a turn. The universe shows us thing's as it flows in unpredictable ways. We observe how Organic material behaves. Some might be gross/uncomfortable, but you can Over come it by embracing that it's okay you don't know it All and That's perfectly fine. The universe is not designed to rhyme all the time or have everything be perfectly fine. Some Imperfections don't need correction. It's a challenge to us towards how we observe these hidden perfections, then you realize that's been around us all this time. Thing's in Nature hardly do naturally occurring perfect line's. You know what? That could be fine. -I think that might be what Nature has been trying to tell us all this Time?
By: Ben McReynolds
The long-awaited second Dog of Wisdom video was right all along.
Emotions are the platform of our consciousness. The problem is that emotions are intuitively experienced as timeless states, when logically we know they're not. Two (of many) things happen: (1) we intuitively push toward "happiness" as if it's some kind of rung on a ladder we'll permanently be standing on once we finally achieve it. Of course it the rush of excitement we're chasing, which *feels* permanent when things go our way. And (2) when things aren't going our way, that feels permanent as well. So for me, it's a complication of how the human brain both constructs what we think of as "time" (both logically and phenomenologically) and turns around and completely misunderstands it when we stop thinking hard and let our guard down (which is the vast majority of time... if we even thought hard in the first place). We're all caught in this river, constantly mushing and mingling stuff together, and it ends when we die. I guess.
Now clicking on "You Don't Know Time," which I apparently missed. :)
"You Don't Know Time" was definitely not what I expected, haha.
I live my life with the cards I've been dealt (which are admittedly very good cards with the tradeoff being that I have Aspergers Syndrome) but I just be living my life and doing what I can and that makes me very content
I think my line of thought so far about happiness doesn't exactly match with this video, but it doesn't disagree 100% as well. My pursuit of happiness formula was and not sure if it will change after this video, expectations lead to less achievement and so not happiness while goals lead to achievement and so happiness. It doesn't match because my happiness is related to achievements, it doesn't disagree 100% because it's not based on full achievement (Even if you don't fulfil your goal completely, the process itself gives you a lot to not needing to compromise a lot).
It's awesome that you use Frankl as the main source here. His book has - like many others that teach the same lessons - changed my life for the better and given me the strength to keep going in my darkest of times. Highly recommend reading it to everyone, especially if you forgot what you live for and lost some if not all of your hope that things might get better. ❤
Nevertheless, I wanna add that these ideas aren't young. Actually they have been written down for the first time around 3000 B.C.E. in East Asia by the Third Zen Patriarch Seng-Ts'an (The Hsin-Hsin Ming)*, whilst we will obviously never be able to tell if they have or haven't been around even earlier. I mean... Humans started to settle more frequently and in many cultures fully stopped being nomads around 12.000 years ago. "Homo Sapiens Sapiensis" exists and our brains haven't gained significantly more capabilities - following the concept - kinda since then and life's been rough since forever, arguably... So.... 🤷
Anyhow! Great Video! Y'all have a nice day! 😊
*At least a reliable translation of this text is stating concepts that articulate similar thoughts. There is older religious stories and writings that for sure meant the same, but in the Hsin-Hsin Ming it is stated pretty directly imo.... I slowly realize this being a bit too big of a topic. Thank you for reading my neurodivergent brains fart until the point I decided to be embarrassed by myself. ❤
i was dealt both horrendous cards (my bio parents both died before i was 6 months old. my bio mom sold me to the man i called my dad. who bought me to further his career. which, he told me nearly every day for 35 years before he died. and that is the least bad card in my opinion) but, at age 11, i was in the icu. a nurse saw me crying cuz i had no family who visited me for 4 weeks in a row. i had no use of my legs. i felt my self get weaker. the nurse told me "dont shoot for happiness. that'll come later. u cant be happy today based on you being stuck to your bed. but, if you shoot for positivity, you will eventually find happiness."
ever since, i can say honestly, im a depressed loser face. but, im positive. i try every single day to make things better for me and my friends. im still not happy. but, im not wallowing in my own self pity and hatred or negativity. this video is a much smarter way of saying my nurse had something goin for her. and, im really thankful i watched it. ty for posting
I"m old now but the older i get and the more people i love leave me the more i understand why i"m here , and then i smile .
While the pursuit of happiness indeed thwarts happiness, I find that happiness mostly comes to those that seek it out. Now what is the difference?
The pursuit of happiness is the chase after things that we think makes us happy. We can lose a lot in that chase and even if we succeed in it, the rewards may not be as great as we have hoped.
Seeking happiness, at least to me, is more about being open to and looking out for the elements that makes you happy in your life.
Most of us live well enough that we have something to be happy for and we often don't need more to feel content and appreciate things in our lives and this mentality often leads to happiness.
I don't think happiness is just a by product of living well, because a lot of people do actually live well, but don't see it as much as others. It is also a mental thing, a perception in life. You can learn to be better at seeing life through the lens of happiness and become happier without changing anything other in your life than your outlook on it.
This is one of the best videos i’ve seen lately.
If i understood the content well we have an arabic word for it “ qana’a” “قناعة"
and we say it is the “infinite treasure”
We'd be so grateful if you put links in the description
The connection w/ luck is even more direct than "some people are born with fewer problems". It's literally (partially) genetic. Some people are inherently happy, some people are inherently unhappy. Or more precisely, we all have different happiness set-point. Hedonic treadmill means changing anything in our lives is unlikely to make us more or less happy in the long term.
This is so true : being able to find meaning in whatever situation in one's life will eventually lead us to happiness.
Thanks again Kevin for this awesome video!
I actually kind of interpret happiness like this:
Though your circumstances may be grave, you can have happiness, like a having puppy. Even if you aren’t living in good times, you have something to be your happiness. Even through severe drought, your puppy can still be there.
I know it’s not the best interpretation, but I think it works, lol.
judging from the title: I'm immortal
😂
Insightful! Pursuing one's own happiness decreases happiness, but finding meaning increases it.
Also the opposite is true, if i do something i think gives me meaning, but it doesn't give happiness, it's probably a way my brain tricks me into pursuing happiness again.
Funny enough, most things that give me actual meaning (and thus happiness) are things i wouldn't expect to like, i.e. cleaning up my room, helping my mom wash the dishes, giving my own time to others
lots to unpack... it's a solid start. good job.
IMO, I think this video shows that letting others define what makes you happy leads to unhappiness as we try to achieve things we don't really want or need. Too often society tells us what 'success' is and when we try to achieve it we find it doesn't make us happy. We don't need every moment of our life to be "perfect". We just need a goal to pursue that makes us happy. We need to spend more time asking ourselves what 'Living well' means for us as an individual. Simply ask ourselves what situations and activities makes us happy and try to fill our lives with more of that. Everything else (work, money, health, property) is just a means to allow us to spend more of our time doing the things that really make us happy. If we really ask ourselves in what situations we feel true happiness, that is all we need to give us a goal, a direction and hope.
Its exactly as you said at 3:53 "people care about the problem"
I think the weirdest aspect is that knowledge one. Primarily because it seems like they thought that "being informed on current events and politics" is identical to "general knowledge of things".
Meanwhile being incredibly self-aware of myself, my biases, my shortcomings, what I can do to improve, and a myriad of various forms of sciences, literature, philosophies, etc has seemingly made my life a lot happier (especially since I achieved this with little to no friends to rely on at the time). My guess is the studies aren't sufficiently extricating the concept of knowledge well enough to reach a conclusion.
However "being informed on current events and politics" most likely does not increase happiness at all, and arguably rarely increases knowledge, that much I can probably agree with.
Never get bored listening to your videos kevin.
Just wanted to say, This Video shook my very core. I don't know how else to describe the feeling at the end of the video. Thanks again.
Think of feelings like a PH scale, 7 is feeling just ok, not happy nor sad, 10 is happy and 5 is sad.. I’ve never desired to be ‘happy’ like people think you should be.. people think it’s abnormal to feel depressed, sad, unloved, rejected etc.. when it’s perfectly normal and some days I’m great, some days I’m ok, some days I’m depressed and can’t even get out of bed.. it’s normal
"Perhaps happiness is always to be found in the journey uphill, and not the fleeting sense of satisfaction awaiting at the next peak. Much of happiness is hope."
-Jordan Peterson
Because we’re being lied too.. about everything.
This video makes me happy and sad at a same time
"The international brigade of wine Mum's...."
Love it 😂😂
"Der Weg ist das Ziel" - "The Path is the Goal"
If your Goal is happiness, you might temporarily achieve it. If you just follow a path, where you encounter happiness, you will achieve it quite often.
I don't have a Life Goal, i have a Life path and while I won't always be happy, I will be it alot more often, than if I chase it.
such pressure to always be happy, it crushes us its toxic
Now I understand why if I'm making a house of cards I'm much more happier when I knock it down than when I finish it to begin with.
You don't get happy trying to be happy as odd as that sounds.
What people need to know is that happiness evolved as a tool, just like our hands or ears. It has a purpose, like our hands manipulate or our ears hear!
The problem is that people aren't willing to trust their happiness like hands or ears. We let other people tell us what will make us happy: our parents, doctors, experts, friends, etc.. Would you let others tell you what you see? Would you let others tell you whether or not you are holding something?
You have to follow your happiness, even if it seems dangerous or unethical. You are the only person who can know what will make you happy!
1:30 The Finnish word "onni" means both luck and happiness, too
I literally love your work. I've been binging your content lol. So much fun. It's really cool to see how you grew as a creator over the years.
Probably one of the best RUclips videos I've ever watched. Thank you for this!
This is one of the best videos ive seen of yours. Thank you.
I thought feeling happy was a emotion, involving smiling and feeling good inside.
I think that most people these days are more worried about how other people feel about them then how they feel about themselves. We hope that if other people love us that well start to love ourselves but just end up feeling like we dont measure up. I feel like whats brought me the most peace is just to stop judging myself to stop worrying about how i should be and just be the best i can be cause ill never be perfect and that ok. But you cant breathe under the weight of your own expectations or anyone elses. Just breathe and keep your heart and mind open , dont be to hard on yourself, give someone close to you a big hug and hang in there cause were gonna be ok.
I just want a job so I can afford going outside, getting a dog and founding a family once I maybe find someone, or not. I studied for years for a field that hires well, but it's been forever trying to get even summer job because without experience you can't get hired. There are so few opportunities to get your first work experience that it stalls the whole life.