I’ve learned that being nice has gotten me absolutely nowhere in life. Only pain and guilt. And it sucks. The moment I’m not nice, it’s “Whoa man, what happened to you?”
1. You dont prioritize your own needs. 2. You constantly say sorry. 3. You agree to things you dont want to do. 4. You often say yes immediately. 5. You dont tell people what u want. 6. You have a strong need to be liked. 7. You are very conflict averse. 8. Others often take advantage of you. *I hope these helped some people! :D*
@@user-cw7my7tj2z as a Canadian, people often make jokes about us being so nice and saying sorry all the time. Not sure if it's true though. 😂 Canadians can be mean sometimes, but we do say sorry often. Lol
1. You don’t prioritise your own needs 2. You are constantly saying sorry 3. You agree to things you don’t want to do 4. You often say YES immediately 5. You never tell people what you want 6. You have a strong need to be liked 7. You are very conflict averse 8. Others often take advantage of you
In middle I couldn't say no, even if I didn't want to, so some people in my school would make me throw away their food tray, after they are finish eating and my friend would scold me for not saying no
Same i cant say no to people... that can also be anxiety... but like one day I'm going to get in a bad situation since i can never say no to anyone..😂😔
Number 5 hit me hard Grewing up in the household where stating an opinion is equal as being rebelious and disobeying parents.. really takes toll on my adulthood..
If you're too nice, you can't learn who really likes you and who just wants to take advantage of your niceness. And realizing this will make you lonely. You need to know your friends are true friends
Indeed. Either you will feel like everyone is out to get you (everyone is lying, trust issues..) Or you become bitter (since so many people took advantage of you and your sense of trust is distorted)
I physically can’t get angry at people. I have never shown anger in front of friends. And what you said is true!! People who are too nice, often find it hard to see who really likes you and who is just taking advantage of your niceness. Most average people would notice that, and speak up. And If you guys have had conflicts/ fallings out with your friends- you lot are normal. You are not overly nice, because you are still able to show anger and speak up for yourselves. You are still able to stand up for yourselves and say no to something you really don’t agree on. If you never never ever have had a falling out, it probably means you are too nice because you never want to say anything to upset them and want to be liked. Most people think they are “too nice” but most of the time they aren’t, because they still have some idea of who they are and to stand up for themselves when it’s needed. People who are too nice, don’t do that.
@Matt Ludwig It is. I can speak from personal experience. At the time i has this terrible friend (looking back)and always wondered why she was liked more that me even though she wasn't so nice. Turned out, years later she told me that being too nice may seem like you have an ulterior motive
Sometimes you have to put YOURSELF first. If someone jumped off a bridge, would you jump down too to maybe save them? Okay, bad example, but you get the idea 😂
A lot of people think of themselves of being “too nice” but they actually aren’t. People always think of themselves of being something wonderful. Me however.. I KNOW I’m too nice. I have been walked over far faaar too many times. I have never and I mean never been able to speak up to people (apart from family) i have never been able to speak up to friends or cried or showed anger in front of them because I have such a strong want to be liked and I don’t want to upset anyone’s feeling. I’ve had people pick me up and shove me in a bag, I’ve had friends that would throw trash on the floor and then make me go pick it up and treat me like a dog saying “go fetch.” I have even lost £300 to a scam because I was too nice. I’m so fed up with people in these comments saying “I’m ToO nICe” or “I GeT wALkeD all OvEr” because no most of you don’t. Far too many people think they are a nice person and flatter themselves at how “nice they are.” No you’re not. 😠😒
L Franco I’m not friends with them now. They ended up betraying me and started ignoring me, leaving me out, deleting me. I wish I had spoke up to them before they left. So many things was left unsaid and I never had the confidence to say a word.
@@becca_rose_x I'm going to be slightly passive-aggressive, but I hope you don't get mad, but don't you think it's kind of contradicting to say you're so fed up with people saying they are "too nice", or "they get walked all over", but at the same time you post a comment about being "too nice" and "being walked all over". I think you shouldn't assume people are lying because I know people do, but not everyone does. sorry if I was rude.
If you're being too nice to someone, and they called you selfish or mean for prioritising yourself, chances are, that person is trying to manipulate you by constant guilt-tripping. Here's a small tip from Psych2Go, if you prioritise yourself without putting others in a major disadvantage, that's not selfishness. If you still feel unsure about it, try to look for an unbiased outside opinion.
-You don't prioritize your self.x - You say sorry constantly.x - you agree to soon into decisions. -You say YES to everything.x - you never say what you want.x - You have a strong need to be liked.x - You don't like conflict so u give in.x - ppl often take advantage of you. edit- First off damn. Yall need to prioritize yourself. Don't be scared of cutting off ppl who aren't good for u. If u feel like ur being taken advantage of at first then -please- follow that instinct please, who cares if its misunderstanding, u can clear is up later. if u dont catch it at that time and only realize later, let them go, and if they come around be very observant and tell them off or leave when they do it again. They did it once they will do it again. *IN SHORT* BARK BACK even if the first word is f*ck u or f*ck off. That's how I started. Say what u need to. I am sure u are all very sweet, but it's okay to be bitter and ppl not like u. Ik its hard but, it will get better. If they cut ur wings, dont forget u have claws, use them. Second of all dayum 1k thank u guys! Funny. I wrote this as a personal note to myself for growth.
I am pretty much all of these except the last. I don’t let people walk on me or take advantage of me. I may be nice but I’m also confident and I’m not taking people’s bullshit
You don’t know what you want because you were too busy making sure you considered everyone else’s decision that at some point you forget what you really like
do whatever the fuck you want. it’s a long process to finally say no to people’s demands, but it’s a healthy habit and good for your mental health. People who say that you’ve changed and give a negative connotation to that didn’t deserve you in the first place, so it’s a good thing that they showed their true colours to you. Keep saying no and putting yourself first, bc being selfish is not a bad thing.
Pfft screw them! Don't be a doormat, if they can't accept that you won't do their every need then you obviously don't need them! I haven't met you but I but you're super nice! Don't let it hurt you that they said that! Everyone changes at some point, right?🥰😘
me : *being nice to everyone* friends : *take the advantage of that* me : *not nice* friends : *OH WHY ARE YOU SO RUDE?* me : *BOI WHAT DO YOU WANT OMYGOD-*
The great double-edged sword of being nice is that, all too often, you attract people who are *not* . This is because nice people strive to see the good in others because we want others to do the same for us. The problem is, a lot of people don't meet even that simple criteria. Being nice is admirable -- noble, even -- but you have to be careful, lest your blessing become a curse. I've often felt that many people who come across as mean, or bitter, or unlikable probably were actually nice people once upon a time... but were wronged one time too many.
OMG I AGREE. Everyone in my grp dropped out from a few popular grp for this reason so we made this current friend grp and this is the biggest problem we face😂
I’m the “therapist friend” of my group, or so they call me. I am, in no way, qualified to make *anyone* less anxious or depressed, but my friends always dump their problems on me anyways, and they get mad when I don’t console them in the right way, even though, like I said, I’m NOT a therapist. Whenever I try to explain to them what *I’m* going through, like when I lost my grandfather last November, they always compare it to something they’ve gone through and turn the conversation to themselves. I hold everyone’s problems, plus my own, and I feel like I’m only in the friend group to do just that. I’m talked over, ignored, and I’m only there to be a dumping place for everybody else’s problems.
I relate so much, I know exactly how you feel. After years of going through the same thing and I still do I’ve realized that for some problems you just can’t help the other people and just have to let them figure it out of their own. Though as you said it’s impossible to discuss our own problems hopefully you found some friends who can help you with this but if now I’m always around 😁
Sorry about your grandfather. Virtual hugs🤗 i completely understand where you are coming from. Especially when your feelings are invalidated by toxic positivity. Like damn, i get it. Someone has it waaay worse than me; however, jus let me have my emotion so i can get over it. Let me be sad, let me mourne, let me complain and vent so i can get it out my system. So i feel you. I wish you all the positive energy.
Naaah... I am nice to everyone. I don’t choose who I’m nice to, because that is a little immature in my opinion. I go by the quote “never stop being a good person, because of bad people.”
strike6tutorials nice is more on being polite and treating people nicely while kind is when you care about people and show you care. You can be nice without being kind. You can be kind without being nice. I hope I explained that properly ☺️
My neighbor and her kid are such moochey energy. No you may not use my wifi. No you may not use anything. & I really dont want them bugging my pets either. I let them borrow a fan, thats it. I kind of have a feeling i wont get it back either. Im sorry... But theyre not my problem. Shes my same sign :/ & even tho we have some similiarities, other qualities arent. Id be way too prideful to bug ppl the way she does. Shes like a bug a boo. "Go make your own case a deal ahs ✋..." First off) wait for an invite. You cant just show up at ppls place like that. 2nd) idk how all she operates but we have a slum lord. She just goes about doing things all wrong... 3rd) maybe she shouldve had things aligned before sh went down. Dont ask another struggler for sh. Bc when i say i like being by my lonesome, i actually meant that.
That sounds just like my closest friend. She's always apologizing, even when things aren't her fault. I tell her that her apologies are often cute but that she should do so less often because, as this video explains, apologizing as frequently as she does is a sign that she isn't looking out for herself.
I think I became too nice because of my parents ways of parenting me: They don't let me explain (if I do, they will call me disrespectful for talking back at them) or sometimes they ignore me if I want to share something because they're too busy looking at their phones then I end up not sharing
I started ignoring them in return and if they got pushy or pouty I start screaming,storming out...like a big baby. I hope to exit this phase soon and that adulthood on both sides will be reached soon:)
*this is exactly what happens and it's scary like it's nice to know that someone relates because my friends dont have parents like mine and they don't understand*
my mom does the exact same thing, and she'll tell !e to shut up and sometimes just looks right past me like I'm not there when she doesn't want to listen.
The hard part is trying to change being too nice, when you have set everyone’s expectations so high for yourself that when you don’t meet them people think something is wrong or they don’t want to be with you because things arnt the same, you no longer give them everything they want. So the leave.
So true. It's a hard lesson to learn. When the pattern repeats itself over and over (because we keep attracting the same sort of people) it can be quite a painful and lonely realization to come to.
People tend to respect a person who stands up for themselves (even when they fall out because of it) and tend to pitty a person who can't (even if they stick with you). Choose yourself. People come and go. A person who loves you will never resent you for speaking up.
“It’s not selfish to take care of yourself” me: “okay” **takes care of myself for 5 minutes** my family and “friends”: “yOu’Re So sElfIsh” edit: thank you for supporting me
Me: Yeah, well, I don't think I'm nice at-- "One: You don't prioritize your own needs." Me: I'm sorry, but-- "Two: You're constantly saying sorry." Me: Okay, but I-- "Three: You agree to things you don't want to do." Me: Well, yes, but-- "Four: You often say YES immediately." Me: Uh-- "Five: You never tell people what you want" Me: sToP cALLiNg mE oUt
I used to have a problem with the whole “you’re too nice “ thing as well as the “ you’re too much of a good girl” thing . But then I realized that the real problem is not the nice person/good person, it’s the people who take advantage of that.
*My story!* I used to be too kind for my own good, I cared way more about others then myself. In fact, I hated myself and I would often hurt myself on purpose because of this. My friends and family would ask why there was a new mark on my arm everyday. I just would answer “I’m just clumsy that’s all.” Sometimes my friends would catch me hurting myself and ask why I’m doing it. I just answered “My arm just stings, it’s fine.” It got to the point people would worry about me, but I would try and keep pretending I was perfectly fine. I cared less about myself, and made others needs mine. I didn’t know who I was because I was too caught up in what people want me to be. I began to get depression when I didn’t have a distraction. My family didn’t know much of what was going on, and why I wasn’t so cheerful anymore. “I’m just a little sick, I just have to go to bed.” is what I would always say. I would spend most of my time on the computer and iPad, so I would get a distraction from how horrible my life was. Soon I began to find friends online who cared for me and had the same needs. My depression soon became no more. I always knew that I didn’t know who I was talking to. But I knew I wouldn’t find someone like them in real life. *I hope you found my story interesting, tell me your stories in the reply section!*
I'm so sorry you went through this. I really hope you never go back to such a state. It's really hard for me to endure the thought of someone hurting themselves....... I don't really have a story likes yours, but I guess it's worth a shot to share..? I can relate to some parts of your story. I definitely think I care about others more than myself. When I was younger, I would always do what others wanted me to. I'd always play what the other kids wanted to. Them: Hey, let's play this game! Me: I don't really want to... Them: No, come on! You gotta hang out with us. You barely do. Me: Alright.. But I'll leave after a few rounds I never really suggested playing games either. I just went with whatever everybody else wanted to do. The conversations went something like that because I didn't want them to think I didn't like them or something. And let's say I'm eating something. If someone asks me for a piece of it, I give it. I have a really hard time telling them no and that it's mine. I guess I just don't want people around me to feel sad. For me, I also watch on RUclips and use the internet a lot. It's my getaway. I watch when I feel empty because.. I guess you could say I don't have anyone to talk to? I'm not so sure how to word it correctly. I did hurt myself purposely once, with this multi-use metal thing. It was like, a knife, a letter opener, bottle opener, etc. all in one. I cut my finger slightly with it. I got asked why I did it, and all I could come up with was that I just wanted to see if it was really sharp or not. I don't think I really wanted to hurt myself though. I think that maybe I just wasn't thinking at all. Nowadays, I don't really mind if I get scars. Again, I don't think it's because I want to hurt myself purposely, but because I just don't care. I just don't care. (But I'm starting to. I'm slowly learning to love myself and put my needs and desires before others.) I think I still have a problem about caring what other people think about myself. I know I did definitely change myself for others. But like I already said, I'm learning to put myself as my #1 priority, and learning that it's okay to say no. I think I'm a pushover. I always did what others wanted. Isn't that what a pushover is? I have this one friend who I've known for about 8 years, and we've gotten really close. So close that we have slept on the same bed, went on family trips together, shared the same spoon, and told each other our secrets. Lately, she said she didn't want to be my friend anymore because I was toxic. She also gave me very invalid reasons and cursed at me and my other friend. Story: Me and her were hanging out, probably for 2 hours? I saw my other friend, and they don't like each other. I ASKED her to go hangout with the other friend, she said sure. (She never told me that she didn't want me hanging out with the other person at all. She just seemed blank when she said sure.) Anyways, we hang out, and over text messages, she tells me I'm toxic for ditching her basically. Not even to my face. Just texting. She calls my friend who I left with the b word, etc. Also, days after we had that argument, her and her other friend were being suspiciously weird. You know, whispering, running away from us. As me and the friend I left with were walking a few days later, there was a rock thrown at me. I turned around to see her and her friend running away. I'm glad they missed. Otherwise, I really would've been so pissed. They've also done things like ding-dong-ditch, which is where you knock on someones home and run away. When we had arguments before, I would always be heartbroken. I even cried once when she got angry at me. I felt so guilty and bad. But when we had this argument that completely ended our friendship, I wasn't at all sad. I felt more.. free? Like I had gotten chains off. I'm glad we're not friends anymore, because to be honest, I felt like she used me. And she blamed our argument on me. She told me I made it unnecessarily bigger and how I started it, etc. Anyways, I'm so sorry for ranting all this! Wait, no I'm not. xD Sorry. OMG [I need to get ahold of myseld xD] Have a{n} (awesome) day! I don't know you, but I'm confident that you have a beautiful soul and body.
ROBLOX_Variety That’s such a sad story! She didn’t deserve you, I’m happy that your finally free! If you want I can teach you a bit more on how to love your self more than you love anybody in this world. Trust me, I love myself more than I love chocolate milk, and boy do I love chocolate milk XD
ROBLOX_Variety Okay then! First step : Look at yourself in the mirror when you wake up and sleep, and though the day. This will help you love how you look
“You have a strong need to be liked” I feel like I’m doing everything I can possible to be a good person and I still have no good friends. I’ve tried being myself and no one likes that either. I can’t win...
Personally, I think a lot of these traits come out in a person because of their childhood. I can relate to this because my parents were blaming me or taunting me for my shortcomings. Needs were not prioritized...in short, narcs. As a result now I'm one of these people who'll try their best to adjust with everyone, see that nobody is uncomfortable because of me, even if that compromises with my requirements. I've been trying to break off from that habit, let's just say I'm making progress :)
Hello josina D, you wrote the same thing which was going through my mind after watching psych2go videos😊,That's great that you are improving and I hope you will get all the things which you want from your life 😄
I'm like this a lot of times too, but then I've had a few other friends who are/were the same way, and I end feeling weird because I know that they're just trying to do or agree with whatever I'm saying to make me happy. It seems disingenuous, even if they're just trying to make me happy and just aren't good at letting themselves have a say, and it makes me feel bad as their friend. Because of this, I'm trying to change so I don't make my friends feel weird too.
I know a person this nice...they are a precious friend to me...and I never want to let them go...we always understand each other...we have never fighted and we always ask for each other's opinions. They have never called me an name and I always try to show them that I care about them and never wishing to hurt them...they are truly wonderful people that I don't want to lose! ^-^
You are very lucky. When you have something most people are jealous parasites who aren't happy unless they've destroyed you. Believe me I've been through it many times. My only comfort is watching their demise.
I had a friend in first grade and we got into a lil fight,so i told sorry,but she told me to hold my ears,and stand up and down constantly to be forgiven, and I did so,after I finished writing whatever ma'am gave in the whiteboard,I did whatever she told me to do,I did see the teacher watching me,but I didn't care,when we had a break and was standing in the line,the teacher told me to not do that again,but I don't quiet remember what she told me.
Its when you try not to be passive and be assertive people dont like it - especially when the people are aggressive and think you should do what they say or think. They should respect our thoughts too.
Naomi Summers, I have seen other videos from this site, somehow trying to divide people into numbered categories and people going along with it. I've also seen some miserable comments from some younger, teenager or adult type, trying to put themselves into categories while they should be creating a personality of their own. The real truth is that most people are conformist and some aren't. And btw passive and nice are not synonyms. You can be actively nice to someone to give them a boost, or you can be passively difficult to someone, while trying to play nice.
Whenever I'm at a friend's house and I'm thirsty or hungry, I say hey, are you hungry? And if they say yes, we both eat, if they don't I just stay hungry, that's how shy I am.
My husband and I can relate to this video. We have helped many people who took advantage of us . We have finally learned that you have to do what is right for you no matter what others think. We get to do us now and it feel real good!
Same, My friend is dealing with extreme anxiety and she is too nice I mean TOO nice to the point that she does assignments of her best friend. ( I'm not her best friend).
"Are you contantly putting others before yourself?" Yes. My therapist said that's called self-abandonment and that it can be solved by setting boundaries for myself. I may be too nice for my own good.
Oh damn. Hearing the name makes a lot of sense. It's great to be positive, but TRUST me, not only do you burn yourself out, your positivity will run out quick and SOME people around you probably won't know what to do. I suggest planning at least 2 things per day for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is. Good luck!
My mother's last words were " I'm sorry." What a load to put on someone. A vicious cycle of low self-esteem, insecurity and ridiculously high expectations. It's taking a lot of work to get rid of all the crud that has been layered on over the years. But these little vids do a good job of highlighting an issue in small doses. Thank you for all your effort and time. Much appreciated.
Sign #9: when everyone from your family to your friends and coworkers say you're too nice, people thinking you have some underlying motive for being nice when you're just being nice because it's who you are, not because you're trying to gain trust easily.
I was brought up to be nice and polite, and not to hurt people's feelings. I've learned to say no to people. If you can do it once you can do it again.
"Don't over apologize" My mind: sorry This is what came into my mind when they said not to over apologize😅😂😐 I'm scared because I relate to them, not all of them, but most of them.
Omg I’m horrible at setting friendship boundaries. I either give out too much of my energy to help everyone or isolate myself and don’t talk to anyone at all lol 😂
I used to be like this. I went from that to a more confident person. Learn to love yourself and you'll come to see you have more worth than you thought. Voice what you need and want, you know yourself best, so don't make yourself your enemy and be the object of your objectives.
Me: Having dinner at a friend’s house and they have loads of really nice food left over. I don’t want to eat anymore because I’m worried I’ll look greedy even though I’m really hungry but I feel really guilty because it will go to waste. My friend’s mom: “Are you sure you’re not still hungry?” Me on the inside: AAaAaaAaAAaA SAY YES I’M SO HUNGRY. Me on the outside: Yes, definitely. Thank you very much for lunch. *Silently sheds a tear as the food goes into the bin*
I so relate to your comment. Sometime in our development we learned that our thoughts of others perceptions of us are reflections of who we are, when that isn't true. When we project our thoughts of ourselves we are often wrong. For example, if you had said something like "this is the best meal I've had in a long time" or "the chicken was so delicious" your having another serving would most likely be seen as a compliment to the cook rather than as a greedy guest. Being gracious while being honest at the same time is something that is learned. If we didn't learn it as children it's something that feels unnatural as an adult. However with mindful practice we can learn to express our wants confidently, sincerely and appropriately while at the same time being respectful, gracious and grateful. It takes effort and intention and is a worthwhile endeavor for it will allow us to be less critical of ourselves and not let opportunities, like a delicious meal or something else, pass us by or go to waste.
@@russtralia6428 Actually I hadn’t thought of that, I think it’s because in my country there is a very wasteful attitude and people (especially the rich) can’t be bothered to put leftovers in the fridge cause. a) they are too lazy b) they want fresh food everyday c) they don’t want to fill up their fridge
I did the same thing. I have finally learned the word "no". Its as if everything i had done in the past means nothing and now being called selfish. Yet i still feel guilty.
*describing my situation* i'm soooooooooooo nice because i wanna be loved so bad and the bad thing is that i got nothing back, the complete opposite i got emotionally abuse and used.
I feel the same way too... my whole life I just tried to be perfect for everyone around me so that I can be loved. Some people just take advantage of your kindness and walk all over you but I’m always too scared to confront them about it so I just avoid communicating with people and stay home
I went through the same thing. After realizing people were using me for homework or other stuff. I stopped being very nice to the people who just want me for stuff and after all this I’m still kinda nice.. but at least now I can say no when I feel like it 😊
@@koi6873 A lot of people are even using my name in different situations just to made them being out in trouble with their own mistakes. I experienced that as well that people were only good to you when they get benefits from you, making their projects and assignments done. Hate those kind of people
I relate to all of them unfortunately. The one that I struggle with the most is avoiding conflict and family when they're upset, and being taken advantage of and apologizing too much. I can't help it. That's happened to much. But hey, at least I'm trying to be nice. I love the animation of this, y'all should do it more! ❤️
Everyone keeps telling me Ik weird for being nice to everyone and even people that I don’t know or agree with. I’ve been called naive and stupid but that’s just how I was raised.
I am overly nice because I grew up in a extremely aggressive household. I never had a voice because it was not allowed so to try and escape all this aggression I just became a overly nice person and it has reeked havoc in my life. I crave balance, I want to be respected and I am trying to set boundaries but no one is taking me seriously so I become extremely avoidant. I don’t want to live this way anymore it’s extremely stressful but I’m taking it one day at a time 😅
Shireen Makda yea I got into fight with my mum, cause she’s been having conflict with some neighbours that to be honest wasn’t her fault, but I’m like you need to look at it from a place of love, cause I’ve been trying to shift my own vibration to a more authentic place. I’m trying to be more mindful of what I’m feeling and how I respond to what I feel. It’s not about giving in but yes it’s about being calm as the video says. It’s not about giving in on a point it’s just not beating yourself up over it, it’s about being mindful so your not stewing on it cause that brings you down. She accused me of being weak, and not defending her and sticking up for them and I tried saying that’s not what I was doing and tried reiterating what I said earlier. I’m like be the love you want to receive... cause she was upset an old neighbour told lies when they moved, to the new tenants. I’m like if she talked shit about you, if you respond defensively it’s just continuing the cycle but if you meet them with love, even if they believed at first what the old neighbour said, they’ll learn it’s BS cause you act from a place of love - eventually they will say well the old neighbour was out to lunch cause she’s always so nice. She’s not understanding the law of attraction that when she worries other view her negatively then they will.
Y’all upload a lot 😂 Edit: I don’t understand why I should prioritize my needs. I’m always told that I’m “too nice” and people tend to walk over me. And tbh, I really need to be liked by others. I don’t understand why I feel like this, I just don’t want to hurt other people and I’m always apologizing for things that seem so stupid and small, but you never know how it could affect someone else. I know that I can handle the emotional stress of everyone’s problems and that’s why I try to take that weight off of them. I’m not saying the other people in my life are weak, but I want to make their life easier and the best way I can is to always be available and agree with them. I want to be the person that I needed that I just didn’t have. Unfortunately, this is killing me, I just keep cracking and it’s slow and painful. This video taught me a lot. Thank you.
“The loneliest are . The smile the brightest. The most damaged are the wisest. All because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did.” - Jellal Fernandes. T-T
Yup I was taken advantage of before and I said no once and my “friend” got a little mad cause she thought I would say yes and I said sorry after she got mad
Salty fries that’s me to people get stuff from me and then I learn to stand up for myself and say no sometimes and then people get mad at me and I don’t wanna lose em so I just keep saying ok and sorry I made u mad
My boyfriend's friends got pissed off at me because I wouldn't give up my money on a holiday event I decided not to go to. He didn't want to refund it because he needed to have fun more than the money. On the other hand, I needed the money more because, Corona. The irony is that I was somehow the selfish one because: 1. I didn't care about my friends being happy (apparently) 2. Wouldn't give him the money I asked him to refund I was not going to put someone else's self entitled happiness above my needs just because they wanted me to. People get surprisingly mad when they can't manipulate your ass. *If people are so selfish and self entitled that they only care about their happiness, then they're not and have never been your friends.* Make sure you remember that
I can relate to you to some extent too... During high school, whenever my friends get angry with me or something I just couldn't get myself to step out and confront them right to their face (even when I think that I did nothing wrong). Instead, I just avoid it. Now I think back to it, avoiding def will not solve anything but just makes things worse and creates more misunderstandings between us. It's ok if you are afraid to upset someone, it takes time, but one step a time, try to "show" your true feelings instead of always thinking for others first, there's no wrong thinking for yourself you know :) btw just wanna let you know you're not the only one out there, we got you ^^ Stay strong, better things will come!
•djwolfpack9 • them: "oH My gOD aRe yOU CryInG aGAin ?!" Me: "I'm sorry, I'll clean your whole house and buy food just don't stop being my friend, I'm lonely af"
Even if I have strong feelings that fake friends are nearby, I’m still nice to them and talk to them when they start a conversation. I still hang out with them even if I feel somewhat uncomfortable or empty. I get so mad at myself for it.
if people respected "nice" or "kind" we'd see more of it, but they don't. They see it as weakness. Just my opinion but I think this is part of the appeal of a certain President as well, that he "hits back" and bullies, and confronts his enemies, and does not seem to have a nice bone in his lumbering body. Great role model; seems to working real well considering how great things are.
Fr, that is why I am going back to school showing people that if ur mad at someone you don’t have to act like a crazy person to make them feel bad... You can be super nice and it makes them feel bad and makes them feel like they take you for granted... It is better than yelling at someone and making it seem like your so big and bad😂
@@jaykayy5173 School teaches this sort of stuff? Not when I was in school. I agree with you that communicating clearly, honestly, and nicely suffices. Histrionics and high drama only feed on itself and intensifies the battle zone. However, if this being " super nice" is just an act the other person may rightly consider it passive-aggressive. People can't read minds and need things spelled out for them or at least that is what I have experienced. The avoidance of direct confrontation is part of the problem; I hate it but it is necessary in life.
Steven Kerry are you fucking kidding me? You just had to bring politics into this, don’t you. I know your a trump hater, no need to show that to the world. 🙄
No, if you are able to get mad it shows you aren’t overly nice because overly nice people don’t speak up for themselves. You are just normal and still have some level of knowing when to stand your ground and speak up.
I suddenly remembered my friend, she's too nice. She doesn't say "No" even if she doesn't want it. I told her that sometimes it's okay to say "No" but it's up to her. I hope people won't take advantage of her. I also don't deserve someone like my friend. I hope someday she'll find friends who will not take advantage of her. She deserves the world.
That's my friend. I feel so bad because whenever we watch something, I know she's not interested and I tell her 'we can watch something else' and she's very quick to say 'no, that's fine, we can watch it.' I also feel bad because whenever she shows me something, I'm very quick on 'but I have to show you one more thing'. The worst thing is, I know why she does it. It's because she gets pushed away or ignored at school and doesn't have many friends, so she feels like she has to like the same stuff as I do because that's how I will be her friend. Unfortunately, we don't go to the same school anymore, but we see each other often.
Even my friend is also the same and she knows it Why once she even asked me what she should change about her and I told her that she is too over polite I hope that she will turn out to be a strong woman and stop sweating 'bout what others think of her😉🤗😏
Well this "taking advantage of you" actually suits me. I always pay for my classmates who can't pay for something this had gone for years now that whenever there's something to pay they turn their heads on me expecting me to pay for them but if I don't they'd get mad and ignores me for the rest of the day even says mean things like " she's so selfish" etc. And I don't like that I don't like people not liking me so I go ahead and do what they ask of me. I would go home without any money left when my mom ask I would lie saying stuff like " I was hungry and my food wasn't enough ".
I can relate to your comment a lot! I always feel like i have to say yes and if it helps them or be brightness their day i'll be happy to do it! But sometimes people see that as a way to take advantage of me i've noticed it a few times but i've never pointed it out because i just can't do it i often sometimes feel like my opinions don't matter so i prefer to keep my opinions to myself it's really hard to know that your being taking advantage of but yet you don't do anything about it because you don't want to seem rude or anything
Hun, never reject food. You cannot afford to hurt food's feelings XD. On a serious note tho, just say it, they asked first so go with it they can't logically blame you for wanting food if they asked you if you want food. It would be different if they didn't ask first
I learned this a bit too late in life. One day I realised I had no close friends, and seemed to be doing way too many things for others who couldn't care less about my health and wellbeing. It hit home when I was finally overwhelmed and stepped away and started to say no to something. For the next few months I kept being asked to consider it anyway despite politely explaining I did not have the capacity repeatedly.
This destroyed me mentally. Especially since I was in some sort of hell of toxic friends and had a toxic boyfriend as well. Then I finally cut off everyone that's been taking advantage of me being super nice to them and dumped my boyfriend. Well, I've lost most of my friends now but atleast my mental health is better.
You have now created space in your life to welcome new, good, kind people into your life. Take the lessons you've learned and make connections with people who, first and foremost, respect you and will appreciate your kind heart and generous spirit without taking advantage of it.
If u don't have time or energy to help someone or simply feel uncomfortable, you can say something like:"Sorry, I won't help u now because...." I hope this is good advice 😅
@@mukulgoel1097 I know it can really be hard. I once used to be like u. Then I faked not caring anymore until I made it. It's said "Fake it till you make it" I know it's hard but try ur best! You'll soon make it😉
I feel like for so long I've been too nice and get taken advantage of, that it's hard to learn not to. But sometimes I put up walls and then people think of me as rude for speaking my mind once. Then other times they tell me I'm too nice. So how should I act? with my friends, I'm always helping them, hearing their problems out and giving them advice when they need it. But I feel like such a bother if I tell them my problems. It's the same with my family who didn't even know I was suicidal back then. I feel like they don't know a big part of me, because of how many of my issues I hide. I'm trying hard to focus on myself more, trying to detach myself from others, and to be more open. I always question whether I'm not nice and generous, and remind myself to be to be selfish, sometimes to the point where it hurts me. it's hard because I've always been taught and pressured to be nice and to be a good girl. Thank you for coming to my short rant
This is literally my life as well, the saddest part is when people do too much for others even when they don't deserve it, they end up alone and is very ironic for life when you see very selfish people usually surrounded by people and get their needs met.
@@grimbea_jow Exactly, most of the time selfish people seem to be surrounded by a lot of people. There’s this kid In my school that’s so mean and selfish, but because he’s so popular when he says something mean or starts being disrespectful talking bad about somebody else’s looks, people just laugh and don’t say anything about , and it’s so annoying, I wish I could say something to him, but again I’m not brave enough. 😔
Stop listening to others..do what u feel is right..have your own definition of being nice nd taking care of yourselves.. set your own boundaries around you..and it would always be great to get a professional therapist if u cannot say your problems to your family and friends..Take care of yourself..If u give yourself worth , people will respect u.
I feel like me and my friend are being too nice to each other, I usually just say, “Whatever you want!” and my friend says “No it’s ok I’ll do whatever you want!” 😔
You know your too nice when you’d rather get your feelings hurt than a strangers by taking the blame for stuff...A STRANGERRRR 😭 the heck is wrong with me
No I'm likeable. It's just that others aren't likeable. Miss me on that, wrong one. It's definately not a me thing. Although I will admit I'm extra guarded.
I'm always too nice for my own goods. Yes I go out of my way to make others happy and not my own self.And yes I always agree with what everyone else wants. I never tell people what I want. Because I feel they don't care what I feel or think. Yes, I have a strong need to feel liked. Most of these fit me. People should like me for who I am and not take advantage. I allow them to.....
What often happens to me is when multiple people are talking (3 or more), I rarely speak my mind because I don’t want to interrupt what they’re saying. And when I want so say something, they’ve already moved on to the next subject.
Thank you for all your support!
The only reason I'm alive is because theirs a vent server in my discord lmao
Love you psych 2 go
Love y'all!!!
I relate to mostly all of it
No problem
the fact that this video was recommended to me is already a sign...
Yup...
Samee
Saaaame 😑😑
Welcome to the club.
Relatable
The nicest people get hurt the most
😞true
Sadly it's the truth.
Yeah thats true
:( so true
Yep, but they won't never know.😔
Psych2go: "Saying sorry too often is a sign of being too nice"
Me: "Oh, im sorry.... dammit, sorry about that ,, FUU.."
Love your username
@@justicedreams thx XD
@@barackjoe-mama2872 say that some toxic kid on Roblox
TRUEEEE
S A M E
I’ve learned that being nice has gotten me absolutely nowhere in life. Only pain and guilt. And it sucks. The moment I’m not nice, it’s “Whoa man, what happened to you?”
Yeah I know that feeling
Same here...
Yeah for me they gonna be like "you're so annoying now"
@@TitaniumTronic Exactly. What do they want from us?, ._.
That’s true for me too. But we should still be nice to other people, but also care about ourselves, that’s still some thing I’m trying to work on. 😅
1. You dont prioritize your own needs.
2. You constantly say sorry.
3. You agree to things you dont want to do.
4. You often say yes immediately.
5. You dont tell people what u want.
6. You have a strong need to be liked.
7. You are very conflict averse.
8. Others often take advantage of you.
*I hope these helped some people! :D*
I'm 2, sometimes 4, 6 and 8
Thank you so much!
Almost every single f ing one of these things apply to me.
Im too nice and i already noticed why that is a problem
All of those are me...
I’m 2,3,sometimes 4, and 5
"Don't over apologize"
Me: Apologizes for saying sorry after being told not to say sorry so much
So relatable!
i feel you
Me too
same i-
Sorry
“You are constantly saying sorry “
sorry, I’m Canadian.
?
@@user-cw7my7tj2z as a Canadian, people often make jokes about us being so nice and saying sorry all the time. Not sure if it's true though. 😂 Canadians can be mean sometimes, but we do say sorry often. Lol
I’m Canadian to and we always say stuff like good mourning or hello to mostly some people that walk up or just smile at each other XD
@@angelikaa4230 okkkkk
In America people don’t say sorry they are mean
Small fact:
The people you care about most can shatter your self esteem with three opinions about you and things you like
Oh they gave me a hundred probably why I feel like Im the most inferior piece of shit in this world
Can't when your set up for failure, my brain don't work like should.
1. You don’t prioritise your own needs
2. You are constantly saying sorry
3. You agree to things you don’t want to do
4. You often say YES immediately
5. You never tell people what you want
6. You have a strong need to be liked
7. You are very conflict averse
8. Others often take advantage of you
Didn't have to call me out like that💀💅🏾
this is literally me but im trying to learn how to be rude and sarcastic becuase i've been used by other people.
FRICK. I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS TOO NICE
In middle I couldn't say no, even if I didn't want to, so some people in my school would make me throw away their food tray, after they are finish eating and my friend would scold me for not saying no
Thats me becuse my freind said that about me
Psych2Go: You often say YES immediately-
I mean- Yes but- 👁👄👁
rin [was mirakii] yes- i mean nice comment heheheh......
Same i cant say no to people... that can also be anxiety... but like one day I'm going to get in a bad situation since i can never say no to anyone..😂😔
Yes I do that...Sorry...
go back to ur tiktok
@@cheezy8094 I dont have tiktok..
“Don’t over apologize.”
Me, who apologizes for apologizing: *sweating intensifies*
I disliked to show i am not nice and nonsupporting, now i'm like spongebob when he got his abrasive side
Oh my god that is so me 😂
Same-
“Stop apologizing”
“Okay sorry”
Same
Number 5 hit me hard
Grewing up in the household where stating an opinion is equal as being rebelious and disobeying parents.. really takes toll on my adulthood..
Yeah I know what you mean
Same here.have an opinion of your own and its like you committed a grave sin
Yes, yes and again yes!!
…same here
If you're too nice, you can't learn who really likes you and who just wants to take advantage of your niceness. And realizing this will make you lonely. You need to know your friends are true friends
Indeed. Either you will feel like everyone is out to get you (everyone is lying, trust issues..) Or you become bitter (since so many people took advantage of you and your sense of trust is distorted)
I physically can’t get angry at people. I have never shown anger in front of friends. And what you said is true!! People who are too nice, often find it hard to see who really likes you and who is just taking advantage of your niceness. Most average people would notice that, and speak up. And If you guys have had conflicts/ fallings out with your friends- you lot are normal. You are not overly nice, because you are still able to show anger and speak up for yourselves. You are still able to stand up for yourselves and say no to something you really don’t agree on. If you never never ever have had a falling out, it probably means you are too nice because you never want to say anything to upset them and want to be liked. Most people think they are “too nice” but most of the time they aren’t, because they still have some idea of who they are and to stand up for themselves when it’s needed. People who are too nice, don’t do that.
@Matt Ludwig It is. I can speak from personal experience. At the time i has this terrible friend (looking back)and always wondered why she was liked more that me even though she wasn't so nice. Turned out, years later she told me that being too nice may seem like you have an ulterior motive
Real friends call you out on your shit- Ruby from On my block
Real Friends vs Fake Friends
Choose Real Friends
Okay but get this:
_I feel selfish and arrogant every time I put myself first so I just dont_
Same
Sometimes you have to put YOURSELF first. If someone jumped off a bridge, would you jump down too to maybe save them? Okay, bad example, but you get the idea 😂
@@mrzukunft Nah, we're jumping together.
@@mrzukunft yes. Yes i would.😂.
Same
Psyc2go: don't over apologize
Me: *has literally apologised for apologizing too much*
Ugh same! It happens all the time!
Yep that is me XD
Same here
Same
Ikr...
“Your constantly saying sorry”
Sorry for saying sorry
Dang it-
I am so sorry for saying sorr-
Aw I feel sorry- wait, sorry- I mean, I didn’t know I said sorr- ;-;
Someone, you gotta help us break the cycle!
That is my every day schedule
I just only say sorry when after saying a bad word. I do to when i make my way over-
@@I_like_bagels._. same...
Even though I consider myself to be nice, I still have plenty of anger issues/anger outbursts now a days
*_Anyone relate to that?_*
Yes
Me
Is it strange that i feel kind of „better“ after an outburst?
It’s okay to be angry
Yep
When you constantly act “Too nice” because you’re worried you’re not nice enough
Same
That is...me.
But dont worry, im already working on myself so i will one day finally stop being too nice.
U just hit that exact dart for me
YES. THIS.
@@googleuser4034 YEEEEESSSßAJAHNFH
“Don't compromise yourself - you're all you have.”
― John Grisham
That's a new perspective! Thank you for sharing this. 🙂
😀
A lot of people think of themselves of being “too nice” but they actually aren’t. People always think of themselves of being something wonderful. Me however.. I KNOW I’m too nice. I have been walked over far faaar too many times. I have never and I mean never been able to speak up to people (apart from family) i have never been able to speak up to friends or cried or showed anger in front of them because I have such a strong want to be liked and I don’t want to upset anyone’s feeling. I’ve had people pick me up and shove me in a bag, I’ve had friends that would throw trash on the floor and then make me go pick it up and treat me like a dog saying “go fetch.” I have even lost £300 to a scam because I was too nice. I’m so fed up with people in these comments saying “I’m ToO nICe” or “I GeT wALkeD all OvEr” because no most of you don’t. Far too many people think they are a nice person and flatter themselves at how “nice they are.” No you’re not. 😠😒
L Franco I’m not friends with them now. They ended up betraying me and started ignoring me, leaving me out, deleting me. I wish I had spoke up to them before they left. So many things was left unsaid and I never had the confidence to say a word.
@@becca_rose_x I'm going to be slightly passive-aggressive, but I hope you don't get mad, but don't you think it's kind of contradicting to say you're so fed up with people saying they are "too nice", or "they get walked all over", but at the same time you post a comment about being "too nice" and "being walked all over". I think you shouldn't assume people are lying because I know people do, but not everyone does. sorry if I was rude.
**gets hit by a car**
Me: Im sorry 😳
Sorry I went in the way :(
Sorry Im in my balcony and you hit me inside my property :(
Why is this true?
Me when I got hit by a car: sorry, don't tell my mom she will be mad
i'd probably say sorry for your loss to that guy's family
Me being too nice: **Getting taken advantage of**
Me being a bit selfish for my own good: **Getting called mean**
Me:...Bruh...
Same problem..I can't understand what people are saying
@@aathira9101 ohh i see what you did the
this !!!!
and then you feel bad and blame it on yourself? Yeah me to.
If you're being too nice to someone, and they called you selfish or mean for prioritising yourself, chances are, that person is trying to manipulate you by constant guilt-tripping. Here's a small tip from Psych2Go, if you prioritise yourself without putting others in a major disadvantage, that's not selfishness. If you still feel unsure about it, try to look for an unbiased outside opinion.
-You don't prioritize your self.x
- You say sorry constantly.x
- you agree to soon into decisions.
-You say YES to everything.x
- you never say what you want.x
- You have a strong need to be liked.x
- You don't like conflict so u give in.x
- ppl often take advantage of you.
edit-
First off damn. Yall need to prioritize yourself. Don't be scared of cutting off ppl who aren't good for u. If u feel like ur being taken advantage of at first then -please- follow that instinct please, who cares if its misunderstanding, u can clear is up later. if u dont catch it at that time and only realize later, let them go, and if they come around be very observant and tell them off or leave when they do it again. They did it once they will do it again.
*IN SHORT* BARK BACK even if the first word is f*ck u or f*ck off. That's how I started. Say what u need to. I am sure u are all very sweet, but it's okay to be bitter and ppl not like u. Ik its hard but, it will get better. If they cut ur wings, dont forget u have claws, use them.
Second of all dayum 1k thank u guys! Funny. I wrote this as a personal note to myself for growth.
Why did i look at this but thx....
@Rahul Gaikwad thanks I feel special! LoL
Wow I’m like most of these
I am pretty much all of these except the last. I don’t let people walk on me or take advantage of me. I may be nice but I’m also confident and I’m not taking people’s bullshit
@@gektoast4968 then your just a humble person trying to get by without ppls bullshit rubbing off u? ( Cuz I relate to that¯\_༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽_/¯)
Literally anyone: Dude u gotta stop saying sorry, it’s annoying.
Me: *sorry*
Omg that’s me
That's me
That's what my friend does and it's actually annoying😂
That's me
Lol that's me.. it's just so satisfying saying sorry, otherwise the guilt will eat me alive, if I don't say sorry.. 😅
"You never tell people what you want"
me who doesn't tell people what I want because I don't know what I want.
You don’t know what you want because you were too busy making sure you considered everyone else’s decision that at some point you forget what you really like
Relatable
@@inaaya_1111... Relatable
Relatable
Relateable
Me: *reject their demands*
They: you've change
I don't know. Thats word kinda hurt me.
right!? My reputation is that I'm a sweet, shy and kind girl... So, if I ever say "No" to ANYTHING people look at me like: 👁👄👁 yOu'vE cHanGeD
do whatever the fuck you want. it’s a long process to finally say no to people’s demands, but it’s a healthy habit and good for your mental health. People who say that you’ve changed and give a negative connotation to that didn’t deserve you in the first place, so it’s a good thing that they showed their true colours to you. Keep saying no and putting yourself first, bc being selfish is not a bad thing.
@@chimmyjoo8922 ty for that
Pfft screw them! Don't be a doormat, if they can't accept that you won't do their every need then you obviously don't need them! I haven't met you but I but you're super nice! Don't let it hurt you that they said that! Everyone changes at some point, right?🥰😘
@@chimmyjoo8922 But what if I find myself being alone at the end? :< Especially as a student, I can't imagine myself feeling so lonely again
me : *being nice to everyone*
friends : *take the advantage of that*
me : *not nice*
friends : *OH WHY ARE YOU SO RUDE?*
me : *BOI WHAT DO YOU WANT OMYGOD-*
lol that's the unfair reality of being too nice
Just take advantage of someone taking advantage if you
HONESTLY THOOOOO🥺
Reality 😭😭
Find balance. Be nice but think about yourself too. Don't be rude but don't be over-nice either.
my friends: “stop saying sorry omg”
me: “sorry” 👁👄👁
Li-
LMAO ME
It's literally me lok
same
My friends started betting on how many times I’ll say sorry in a day and I didn’t know for like a week....
The great double-edged sword of being nice is that, all too often, you attract people who are *not* . This is because nice people strive to see the good in others because we want others to do the same for us. The problem is, a lot of people don't meet even that simple criteria. Being nice is admirable -- noble, even -- but you have to be careful, lest your blessing become a curse.
I've often felt that many people who come across as mean, or bitter, or unlikable probably were actually nice people once upon a time... but were wronged one time too many.
Oh! So true! It's like you took the words right out of my mouth! Yes! 100 times yes!
Yes. On reading your last sentences, I have to learn that we need to set boundaries for the sake of our mental health.
Yeah give yourself the care you give dysfunctional people see your life improve
When your entire friend group is like this so you can never make any decisions and no one knows what anyone is thinking...
Omg YES 😂 lol!
OMG I AGREE. Everyone in my grp dropped out from a few popular grp for this reason so we made this current friend grp and this is the biggest problem we face😂
Mines said I’m just tooo nice
yes!!
I’m the “therapist friend” of my group, or so they call me. I am, in no way, qualified to make *anyone* less anxious or depressed, but my friends always dump their problems on me anyways, and they get mad when I don’t console them in the right way, even though, like I said, I’m NOT a therapist. Whenever I try to explain to them what *I’m* going through, like when I lost my grandfather last November, they always compare it to something they’ve gone through and turn the conversation to themselves. I hold everyone’s problems, plus my own, and I feel like I’m only in the friend group to do just that. I’m talked over, ignored, and I’m only there to be a dumping place for everybody else’s problems.
I relate so much, I know exactly how you feel. After years of going through the same thing and I still do I’ve realized that for some problems you just can’t help the other people and just have to let them figure it out of their own. Though as you said it’s impossible to discuss our own problems hopefully you found some friends who can help you with this but if now I’m always around 😁
Sorry about your grandfather. Virtual hugs🤗 i completely understand where you are coming from. Especially when your feelings are invalidated by toxic positivity. Like damn, i get it. Someone has it waaay worse than me; however, jus let me have my emotion so i can get over it. Let me be sad, let me mourne, let me complain and vent so i can get it out my system. So i feel you. I wish you all the positive energy.
Same! I can totally relate ! They just want you to listen to them but they never listen to you! and that is so unfair ☹
Same
I can really relate 😞 I’m so sorry about what happened to your grandfather..
I'm nice to the right people: I choose the people I'll be nice to.
Naaah... I am nice to everyone. I don’t choose who I’m nice to, because that is a little immature in my opinion. I go by the quote “never stop being a good person, because of bad people.”
So your only nice to the right people.
I'm also nice only to nice people. If a stupid bully gets on my nerves, I try to get on his/her nerves
strike6tutorials nice is more on being polite and treating people nicely while kind is when you care about people and show you care. You can be nice without being kind. You can be kind without being nice. I hope I explained that properly ☺️
I cant choose😭
"You don't owe anyone an apology for things that aren't even your fault."
*Canadians gasp simultaneously*
(I'm Canadian and that would be hard lmao)
"prioritize your own needs"
me: sorry I'll try harder next time
My neighbor and her kid are such moochey energy. No you may not use my wifi. No you may not use anything. & I really dont want them bugging my pets either. I let them borrow a fan, thats it. I kind of have a feeling i wont get it back either. Im sorry... But theyre not my problem. Shes my same sign :/ & even tho we have some similiarities, other qualities arent. Id be way too prideful to bug ppl the way she does. Shes like a bug a boo. "Go make your own case a deal ahs ✋..." First off) wait for an invite. You cant just show up at ppls place like that. 2nd) idk how all she operates but we have a slum lord. She just goes about doing things all wrong... 3rd) maybe she shouldve had things aligned before sh went down. Dont ask another struggler for sh.
Bc when i say i like being by my lonesome, i actually meant that.
That sounds just like my closest friend. She's always apologizing, even when things aren't her fault. I tell her that her apologies are often cute but that she should do so less often because, as this video explains, apologizing as frequently as she does is a sign that she isn't looking out for herself.
Me:
I think I became too nice because of my parents ways of parenting me:
They don't let me explain (if I do, they will call me disrespectful for talking back at them) or sometimes they ignore me if I want to share something because they're too busy looking at their phones then I end up not sharing
I started ignoring them in return and if they got pushy or pouty I start screaming,storming out...like a big baby.
I hope to exit this phase soon and that adulthood on both sides will be reached soon:)
omg wait we’re living the same life
*this is exactly what happens and it's scary like it's nice to know that someone relates because my friends dont have parents like mine and they don't understand*
Najms Nisa aww :( yeah everyone i knows has both parents and are super happy with their family. i never had that
my mom does the exact same thing, and she'll tell !e to shut up and sometimes just looks right past me like I'm not there when she doesn't want to listen.
The hard part is trying to change being too nice, when you have set everyone’s expectations so high for yourself that when you don’t meet them people think something is wrong or they don’t want to be with you because things arnt the same, you no longer give them everything they want. So the leave.
Or they will say you have changed, you were so good before, it hurts
If they leave we are more lucky without them bc they didn't want the best for us like we wanted the best for them.
So true. It's a hard lesson to learn. When the pattern repeats itself over and over (because we keep attracting the same sort of people) it can be quite a painful and lonely realization to come to.
That means they were taking advantage of you.
The only people who will have a problem with your new boundaries are people who benefitted from you not having any at all. Fuck them.
People tend to respect a person who stands up for themselves (even when they fall out because of it) and tend to pitty a person who can't (even if they stick with you). Choose yourself. People come and go. A person who loves you will never resent you for speaking up.
Preach!!
Amen on that.
“It’s not selfish to take care of yourself”
me: “okay” **takes care of myself for 5 minutes**
my family and “friends”: “yOu’Re So sElfIsh”
edit: thank you for supporting me
Sere Pasaribu I can relate soo much
@@chery7353 ikr😣😣😥😥😔
Newsflash: this world is full of selfish people. You have to love yourself first
Insha I wish I could I feel so trapped in my house I can be “rude” I’m seen disrespectful
Insha i wish i could. i really do. but you know...stuff
‘saying sorry to much’
me: **sweating intensifies** im sorry- wait no no sorry- SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE
“*Nickita_ Chan_.• has stopped working”*
so do I XD
Same thing hppens to me.
@@parasocks1613 yeah okay good idea 😁
Literally me
Me: Yeah, well, I don't think I'm nice at--
"One: You don't prioritize your own needs."
Me: I'm sorry, but--
"Two: You're constantly saying sorry."
Me: Okay, but I--
"Three: You agree to things you don't want to do."
Me: Well, yes, but--
"Four: You often say YES immediately."
Me: Uh--
"Five: You never tell people what you want"
Me: sToP cALLiNg mE oUt
😂😂😂😂
same qwp
This is great
too true
Lol same 😅😂
I used to have a problem with the whole “you’re too nice “ thing as well as the “ you’re too much of a good girl” thing . But then I realized that the real problem is not the nice person/good person, it’s the people who take advantage of that.
*My story!*
I used to be too kind for my own good, I cared way more about others then myself.
In fact, I hated myself and I would often hurt myself on purpose because of this.
My friends and family would ask why there was a new mark on my arm everyday.
I just would answer “I’m just clumsy that’s all.”
Sometimes my friends would catch me hurting myself and ask why I’m doing it.
I just answered “My arm just stings, it’s fine.”
It got to the point people would worry about me, but I would try and keep pretending I was perfectly fine.
I cared less about myself, and made others needs mine.
I didn’t know who I was because I was too caught up in what people want me to be.
I began to get depression when I didn’t have a distraction.
My family didn’t know much of what was going on, and why I wasn’t so cheerful anymore.
“I’m just a little sick, I just have to go to bed.” is what I would always say.
I would spend most of my time on the computer and iPad, so I would get a distraction from how horrible my life was.
Soon I began to find friends online who cared for me and had the same needs.
My depression soon became no more.
I always knew that I didn’t know who I was talking to.
But I knew I wouldn’t find someone like them in real life.
*I hope you found my story interesting, tell me your stories in the reply section!*
low life haha
I'm so sorry you went through this. I really hope you never go back to such a state. It's really hard for me to endure the thought of someone hurting themselves.......
I don't really have a story likes yours, but I guess it's worth a shot to share..?
I can relate to some parts of your story. I definitely think I care about others more than myself. When I was younger, I would always do what others wanted me to. I'd always play what the other kids wanted to.
Them: Hey, let's play this game!
Me: I don't really want to...
Them: No, come on! You gotta hang out with us. You barely do.
Me: Alright.. But I'll leave after a few rounds
I never really suggested playing games either. I just went with whatever everybody else wanted to do.
The conversations went something like that because I didn't want them to think I didn't like them or something. And let's say I'm eating something. If someone asks me for a piece of it, I give it. I have a really hard time telling them no and that it's mine. I guess I just don't want people around me to feel sad.
For me, I also watch on RUclips and use the internet a lot. It's my getaway. I watch when I feel empty because.. I guess you could say I don't have anyone to talk to? I'm not so sure how to word it correctly. I did hurt myself purposely once, with this multi-use metal thing. It was like, a knife, a letter opener, bottle opener, etc. all in one. I cut my finger slightly with it. I got asked why I did it, and all I could come up with was that I just wanted to see if it was really sharp or not.
I don't think I really wanted to hurt myself though. I think that maybe I just wasn't thinking at all. Nowadays, I don't really mind if I get scars. Again, I don't think it's because I want to hurt myself purposely, but because I just don't care. I just don't care. (But I'm starting to. I'm slowly learning to love myself and put my needs and desires before others.)
I think I still have a problem about caring what other people think about myself. I know I did definitely change myself for others. But like I already said, I'm learning to put myself as my #1 priority, and learning that it's okay to say no.
I think I'm a pushover.
I always did what others wanted. Isn't that what a pushover is?
I have this one friend who I've known for about 8 years, and we've gotten really close. So close that we have slept on the same bed, went on family trips together, shared the same spoon, and told each other our secrets. Lately, she said she didn't want to be my friend anymore because I was toxic. She also gave me very invalid reasons and cursed at me and my other friend.
Story:
Me and her were hanging out, probably for 2 hours? I saw my other friend, and they don't like each other. I ASKED her to go hangout with the other friend, she said sure. (She never told me that she didn't want me hanging out with the other person at all. She just seemed blank when she said sure.) Anyways, we hang out, and over text messages, she tells me I'm toxic for ditching her basically. Not even to my face. Just texting. She calls my friend who I left with the b word, etc.
Also, days after we had that argument, her and her other friend were being suspiciously weird. You know, whispering, running away from us. As me and the friend I left with were walking a few days later, there was a rock thrown at me. I turned around to see her and her friend running away. I'm glad they missed. Otherwise, I really would've been so pissed. They've also done things like ding-dong-ditch, which is where you knock on someones home and run away.
When we had arguments before, I would always be heartbroken. I even cried once when she got angry at me. I felt so guilty and bad. But when we had this argument that completely ended our friendship, I wasn't at all sad. I felt more.. free? Like I had gotten chains off.
I'm glad we're not friends anymore, because to be honest, I felt like she used me. And she blamed our argument on me. She told me I made it unnecessarily bigger and how I started it, etc.
Anyways, I'm so sorry for ranting all this! Wait, no I'm not. xD Sorry. OMG
[I need to get ahold of myseld xD]
Have a{n} (awesome) day! I don't know you, but I'm confident that you have a beautiful soul and body.
ROBLOX_Variety
That’s such a sad story! She didn’t deserve you, I’m happy that your finally free!
If you want I can teach you a bit more on how to love your self more than you love anybody in this world.
Trust me, I love myself more than I love chocolate milk, and boy do I love chocolate milk XD
@@kittyplays_uk1729 xD Yes, please! That would be amazing, thank you :D
ROBLOX_Variety
Okay then!
First step : Look at yourself in the mirror when you wake up and sleep, and though the day.
This will help you love how you look
“You have a strong need to be liked”
I feel like I’m doing everything I can possible to be a good person and I still have no good friends. I’ve tried being myself and no one likes that either. I can’t win...
Sounds like me🙂
Yeah same :(
I have no friends, either. It sucks. But I’m 31 lol
I even hate myself for that.
I didn't watch. If this is one of the reasons then I must be an Uber bitch. Alotta ppl operate on superficial leachy bs alone and I just can't.
Personally, I think a lot of these traits come out in a person because of their childhood. I can relate to this because my parents were blaming me or taunting me for my shortcomings. Needs were not prioritized...in short, narcs. As a result now I'm one of these people who'll try their best to adjust with everyone, see that nobody is uncomfortable because of me, even if that compromises with my requirements. I've been trying to break off from that habit, let's just say I'm making progress :)
Hello josina D, you wrote the same thing which was going through my mind after watching psych2go videos😊,That's great that you are improving and I hope you will get all the things which you want from your life 😄
Yes :)
Me too!! I had an abusive mother growing up too!!
I'm sad because I just realize that I have the same situation as you, let's change together! ❤️
I'm like this a lot of times too, but then I've had a few other friends who are/were the same way, and I end feeling weird because I know that they're just trying to do or agree with whatever I'm saying to make me happy. It seems disingenuous, even if they're just trying to make me happy and just aren't good at letting themselves have a say, and it makes me feel bad as their friend. Because of this, I'm trying to change so I don't make my friends feel weird too.
I know a person this nice...they are a precious friend to me...and I never want to let them go...we always understand each other...we have never fighted and we always ask for each other's opinions.
They have never called me an name and I always try to show them that I care about them and never wishing to hurt them...they are truly wonderful people that I don't want to lose! ^-^
You are very lucky. When you have something most people are jealous parasites who aren't happy unless they've destroyed you. Believe me I've been through it many times. My only comfort is watching their demise.
“Saying sorry too much is a sign of being to nice”
Canadians: *sweating intensifies*
that is me- My dad asks me to stop and I apologize for it xd
@Bill Byrne I don’t know? Because I don’t even know I’m saying sorry I just say it lol
I had a friend in first grade and we got into a lil fight,so i told sorry,but she told me to hold my ears,and stand up and down constantly to be forgiven, and I did so,after I finished writing whatever ma'am gave in the whiteboard,I did whatever she told me to do,I did see the teacher watching me,but I didn't care,when we had a break and was standing in the line,the teacher told me to not do that again,but I don't quiet remember what she told me.
Brits: *sweating intensifies but not as much*
@@garggarg6113 yeah like your situation
The video should be titled: “The life of a passive person explained in 5 minutes”
Its when you try not to be passive and be assertive people dont like it - especially when the people are aggressive and think you should do what they say or think. They should respect our thoughts too.
Naomi Summers, I have seen other videos from this site, somehow trying to divide people into numbered categories and people going along with it. I've also seen some miserable comments from some younger, teenager or adult type, trying to put themselves into categories while they should be creating a personality of their own. The real truth is that most people are conformist and some aren't. And btw passive and nice are not synonyms. You can be actively nice to someone to give them a boost, or you can be passively difficult to someone, while trying to play nice.
lmao fax
@Naomi Summers, your comment created a nice comment section 💝
@@kazbaz8645 THAT'S THE POINT, DON'T BE SUBMISSIVE TO THEM JUST BECAUSE THEY GET AGGRESSIVE WHEN YOU'RE NOT THEIR BITCH.
Whenever I'm at a friend's house and I'm thirsty or hungry, I say hey, are you hungry? And if they say yes, we both eat, if they don't I just stay hungry, that's how shy I am.
Mmmhmmm
I was taught not to accept food from strangers but I somehow included family lol
@@abouttogiveyasomefacts5574 Same. Or if I'm walking somewhere and someone I know asks if I want to be dropped off somewhere I was taught to say no.
BOI SAME I CAN RELATE🥺😭
That's adorable :( don't worry bun if I became one of you're friends I'd feed you every single meal I'd cook 🥺💜
My husband and I can relate to this video. We have helped many people who took advantage of us . We have finally learned that you have to do what is right for you no matter what others think. We get to do us now and it feel real good!
I was like this before and that's why now I'm dealing with anxiety... Being too nice is not good for the mental health.
🤧🤧 same and i deserved it. because i was too coward to ask if i did the decision making very bad or just 🤧
Agreed.....it can drive you fkn insane!!!
So true :(
Same, My friend is dealing with extreme anxiety and she is too nice I mean TOO nice to the point that she does assignments of her best friend. ( I'm not her best friend).
Same and I agree to that.
"Are you contantly putting others before yourself?"
Yes. My therapist said that's called self-abandonment and that it can be solved by setting boundaries for myself. I may be too nice for my own good.
Oh damn. Hearing the name makes a lot of sense. It's great to be positive, but TRUST me, not only do you burn yourself out, your positivity will run out quick and SOME people around you probably won't know what to do. I suggest planning at least 2 things per day for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is. Good luck!
✊👏
I’m glad you’re seeing a therapist and being honest with them. May you continue to make strides towards being healthy. ♥️
Waaait is that bad? O_o
Ash Garden no. It’s not bad
My mother's last words were " I'm sorry." What a load to put on someone. A vicious cycle of low self-esteem, insecurity and ridiculously high expectations. It's taking a lot of work to get rid of all the crud that has been layered on over the years. But these little vids do a good job of highlighting an issue in small doses. Thank you for all your effort and time. Much appreciated.
Sign #9: when everyone from your family to your friends and coworkers say you're too nice, people thinking you have some underlying motive for being nice when you're just being nice because it's who you are, not because you're trying to gain trust easily.
That is literally me
Sign # 9 ?
ONLY 8 SIGNS FOR THIS TOPIC.
Welp. I feel attacked
You’re not the only one 😂
Same 😂😂😂
Same
Whoa you are here. . . I'm a subscriber. . .
I'm sorry 😞
My gravestone will say:
"She bothered no one."
And I think mine will be "Sorry, If I ever bothered you".
xD
😂😂😂😂
@Matt K LOLOLOLOLOL
@Matt K 😅
I constantly always say sorry cuz I don't want to hurt people's feelings it makes me feel mean and bad😔
I was brought up to be nice and polite, and not to hurt people's feelings. I've learned to say no to people. If you can do it once you can do it again.
"Don't over apologize"
My mind: sorry
This is what came into my mind when they said not to over apologize😅😂😐
I'm scared because I relate to them, not all of them, but most of them.
Yeah thought about the same too. But now you have self awareness about it, which usually makes it easier to find out what works the best for you.
I do the same thing! I can't help it It's really just my natural response Xb
*Also I must add I love your Taiga profile picture*
The people better be lucky because we are super nice😃
@@boogalumpa7421 yes :)
@@MoonlitReverie thank you!
Omg I’m horrible at setting friendship boundaries. I either give out too much of my energy to help everyone or isolate myself and don’t talk to anyone at all lol 😂
Same same
Samee! 😂
samee
I relate to this sooo much.
Relatable.
“You say sorry too often”
Ya, that’s true, sorry- wait-
happens alot sorry
Some people think I'm nice but they don't know my dark side and he's healing.
The problem is that when I take care of myself first I feel selfish and arrogant 😅😭
SAMEEE ☹️😭
omg saaaaaame here
Me too
Wy ??
@@edv15 because we're all selfless. We take care of others before we even think about ourselves. So taking care of ourselves first is foreign to us.
me: *has all of these signs*
my brain: you're not nice enough
Lmao why is this so true
yes. this is me!
H zed zed zed zed zed zed zed zed zed zed zed zed zed zed zed
Yep
Same
I used to be like this. I went from that to a more confident person. Learn to love yourself and you'll come to see you have more worth than you thought. Voice what you need and want, you know yourself best, so don't make yourself your enemy and be the object of your objectives.
Thank you mr. FBI agent :D
FBI peeps been depressed lately.
We'll good
Well said💪💪
• FBI AGENT • same
Me: Having dinner at a friend’s house and they have loads of really nice food left over. I don’t want to eat anymore because I’m worried I’ll look greedy even though I’m really hungry but I feel really guilty because it will go to waste.
My friend’s mom: “Are you sure you’re not still hungry?”
Me on the inside: AAaAaaAaAAaA SAY YES I’M SO HUNGRY.
Me on the outside: Yes, definitely. Thank you very much for lunch.
*Silently sheds a tear as the food goes into the bin*
Sameeeee
I so relate to your comment. Sometime in our development we learned that our thoughts of others perceptions of us are reflections of who we are, when that isn't true. When we project our thoughts of ourselves we are often wrong. For example, if you had said something like "this is the best meal I've had in a long time" or "the chicken was so delicious" your having another serving would most likely be seen as a compliment to the cook rather than as a greedy guest. Being gracious while being honest at the same time is something that is learned. If we didn't learn it as children it's something that feels unnatural as an adult. However with mindful practice we can learn to express our wants confidently, sincerely and appropriately while at the same time being respectful, gracious and grateful. It takes effort and intention and is a worthwhile endeavor for it will allow us to be less critical of ourselves and not let opportunities, like a delicious meal or something else, pass us by or go to waste.
who would do that? Why wouldn't they just put the food in the fridge
@@russtralia6428 Actually I hadn’t thought of that, I think it’s because in my country there is a very wasteful attitude and people (especially the rich) can’t be bothered to put leftovers in the fridge cause. a) they are too lazy b) they want fresh food everyday c) they don’t want to fill up their fridge
@@ML-xh6rd Sorry for late reply, it seems like RUclips didn’t put it into my notifications, thank you for your wisdom; I will try and work on that.
Yeah and I changed my behaviour almost all of my "friends" disliking me because "apparently" I became selfish
Maybe it’s true. If they are all thinking you same thing, maybe it’s you that is the problem
I did the same thing. I have finally learned the word "no". Its as if everything i had done in the past means nothing and now being called selfish. Yet i still feel guilty.
They were probably exploiting you. I'm working on it too and I noticed I have less people by my side but *better people instead*
Pey Pey Gaming, same here
@@peyotecactus9588 Well done you ! Who needs false friends ?
*describing my situation*
i'm soooooooooooo nice because i wanna be loved so bad and the bad thing is that i got nothing back, the complete opposite i got emotionally abuse and used.
@Kiran Chand Pradhan Agreed
I feel the same way too... my whole life I just tried to be perfect for everyone around me so that I can be loved. Some people just take advantage of your kindness and walk all over you but I’m always too scared to confront them about it so I just avoid communicating with people and stay home
same here. sad life
I went through the same thing. After realizing people were using me for homework or other stuff. I stopped being very nice to the people who just want me for stuff and after all this I’m still kinda nice.. but at least now I can say no when I feel like it 😊
@@koi6873 A lot of people are even using my name in different situations just to made them being out in trouble with their own mistakes. I experienced that as well that people were only good to you when they get benefits from you, making their projects and assignments done. Hate those kind of people
I relate to all of them unfortunately. The one that I struggle with the most is avoiding conflict and family when they're upset, and being taken advantage of and apologizing too much. I can't help it. That's happened to much. But hey, at least I'm trying to be nice. I love the animation of this, y'all should do it more! ❤️
Everyone keeps telling me Ik weird for being nice to everyone and even people that I don’t know or agree with. I’ve been called naive and stupid but that’s just how I was raised.
"Tiffany"?
Same
@@harlensdestruction7115 Definitely
Being Nice to Everyone is better.
I am overly nice because I grew up in a extremely aggressive household. I never had a voice because it was not allowed so to try and escape all this aggression I just became a overly nice person and it has reeked havoc in my life. I crave balance, I want to be respected and I am trying to set boundaries but no one is taking me seriously so I become extremely avoidant. I don’t want to live this way anymore it’s extremely stressful but I’m taking it one day at a time 😅
I really relate to this being an HSP and I always get called things like a pushover. Thanks for making this!
I'm and HSP with a strong personality as well. I completely understand what this is like!
I'm a HSP too and this video is very relatable.
The problem is, the general culture is so accustomed to "nasty," they don't know what to do with "nice."
Oh my !! Samd
Shireen Makda yea I got into fight with my mum, cause she’s been having conflict with some neighbours that to be honest wasn’t her fault, but I’m like you need to look at it from a place of love, cause I’ve been trying to shift my own vibration to a more authentic place. I’m trying to be more mindful of what I’m feeling and how I respond to what I feel. It’s not about giving in but yes it’s about being calm as the video says. It’s not about giving in on a point it’s just not beating yourself up over it, it’s about being mindful so your not stewing on it cause that brings you down. She accused me of being weak, and not defending her and sticking up for them and I tried saying that’s not what I was doing and tried reiterating what I said earlier. I’m like be the love you want to receive... cause she was upset an old neighbour told lies when they moved, to the new tenants. I’m like if she talked shit about you, if you respond defensively it’s just continuing the cycle but if you meet them with love, even if they believed at first what the old neighbour said, they’ll learn it’s BS cause you act from a place of love - eventually they will say well the old neighbour was out to lunch cause she’s always so nice. She’s not understanding the law of attraction that when she worries other view her negatively then they will.
PsychToGo: Do you find yourself displaying any of these?
Me: ALL. OF. THEM.
FR ME
100%
Same
😭✊
Y’all upload a lot 😂
Edit: I don’t understand why I should prioritize my needs. I’m always told that I’m “too nice” and people tend to walk over me. And tbh, I really need to be liked by others. I don’t understand why I feel like this, I just don’t want to hurt other people and I’m always apologizing for things that seem so stupid and small, but you never know how it could affect someone else. I know that I can handle the emotional stress of everyone’s problems and that’s why I try to take that weight off of them. I’m not saying the other people in my life are weak, but I want to make their life easier and the best way I can is to always be available and agree with them. I want to be the person that I needed that I just didn’t have. Unfortunately, this is killing me, I just keep cracking and it’s slow and painful. This video taught me a lot. Thank you.
Missy Girl ikr
Missy Girl truueee
👍
Maybe this will cheer you up.
The Master of Perception: tiolibooks.com/cgi-bin/blog
Catch a Falling Star: tiolibooks.com/blank_1.html
“The loneliest are . The smile the brightest. The most damaged are the wisest. All because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did.” - Jellal Fernandes.
T-T
Yup I was taken advantage of before and I said no once and my “friend” got a little mad cause she thought I would say yes and I said sorry after she got mad
Salty fries that’s me to people get stuff from me and then I learn to stand up for myself and say no sometimes and then people get mad at me and I don’t wanna lose em so I just keep saying ok and sorry I made u mad
Same i had this friend who took advantage if me and ended up being for toxic to me. Until now she still is but we broke the friendship :D
My boyfriend's friends got pissed off at me because I wouldn't give up my money on a holiday event I decided not to go to. He didn't want to refund it because he needed to have fun more than the money. On the other hand, I needed the money more because, Corona.
The irony is that I was somehow the selfish one because:
1. I didn't care about my friends being happy (apparently)
2. Wouldn't give him the money I asked him to refund
I was not going to put someone else's self entitled happiness above my needs just because they wanted me to. People get surprisingly mad when they can't manipulate your ass.
*If people are so selfish and self entitled that they only care about their happiness, then they're not and have never been your friends.*
Make sure you remember that
I can relate to you to some extent too... During high school, whenever my friends get angry with me or something I just couldn't get myself to step out and confront them right to their face (even when I think that I did nothing wrong). Instead, I just avoid it. Now I think back to it, avoiding def will not solve anything but just makes things worse and creates more misunderstandings between us. It's ok if you are afraid to upset someone, it takes time, but one step a time, try to "show" your true feelings instead of always thinking for others first, there's no wrong thinking for yourself you know :) btw just wanna let you know you're not the only one out there, we got you ^^ Stay strong, better things will come!
@@keatonsargent1532 Yeah.Some people just want "yes-men" who agree with them on anything instead of an actual friend. It's sad.
“ Don’t over apologize. “
Me: * sweats nervously and quietly sits in the corner crying *
•djwolfpack9 •
them: "oH My gOD aRe yOU CryInG aGAin ?!"
Me: "I'm sorry, I'll clean your whole house and buy food just don't stop being my friend, I'm lonely af"
There there, apologise if it makes you feel better
The Canadian life
"You can have a reasoned, calm disagreement"
Yeah, you clearly haven't met my mother
HAHAHHA
True buddy
Same. An opinion that isn't hers or any form of explanation for anything automatically translates to being disrespectful to her
@@johannasweet1120 I thought I was the only one.
Or my daughter
Even if I have strong feelings that fake friends are nearby, I’m still nice to them and talk to them when they start a conversation. I still hang out with them even if I feel somewhat uncomfortable or empty. I get so mad at myself for it.
“Why” is a very powerful question that can lead you somewhere.
We need a lot more “nice”. I’m sick of the “ up in your face” trend.
Was just thinking as I scrolled these comments that this is the most concentrated amount of vulnerability I’ve seen placed on the internet in...ever.
if people respected "nice" or "kind" we'd see more of it, but they don't. They see it as weakness. Just my opinion but I think this is part of the appeal of a certain President as well, that he "hits back" and bullies, and confronts his enemies, and does not seem to have a nice bone in his lumbering body. Great role model; seems to working real well considering how great things are.
Fr, that is why I am going back to school showing people that if ur mad at someone you don’t have to act like a crazy person to make them feel bad... You can be super nice and it makes them feel bad and makes them feel like they take you for granted... It is better than yelling at someone and making it seem like your so big and bad😂
@@jaykayy5173 School teaches this sort of stuff? Not when I was in school. I agree with you that communicating clearly, honestly, and nicely suffices. Histrionics and high drama only feed on itself and intensifies the battle zone. However, if this being " super nice" is just an act the other person may rightly consider it passive-aggressive. People can't read minds and need things spelled out for them or at least that is what I have experienced. The avoidance of direct confrontation is part of the problem; I hate it but it is necessary in life.
Steven Kerry are you fucking kidding me? You just had to bring politics into this, don’t you. I know your a trump hater, no need to show that to the world. 🙄
Don't need to watch to know this is me
Same
Me too
Yeah, me too
I actually needed this bc i was so lost that i didnt know who i am anymore
Me too
“People should like you for who you are, NOT what you can do for them”
I’m so nice that people think I’m manipulating them 😭
All I want is them to be happy
The thing about being the nice friend is that when you get mad for once, people suddenly think you were fake nice and are actually mean :(
And when it happens over and over, you come to be mean instead of nice from then on. And die inside for not being nice.
True
No, if you are able to get mad it shows you aren’t overly nice because overly nice people don’t speak up for themselves. You are just normal and still have some level of knowing when to stand your ground and speak up.
I suddenly remembered my friend, she's too nice. She doesn't say "No" even if she doesn't want it. I told her that sometimes it's okay to say "No" but it's up to her. I hope people won't take advantage of her. I also don't deserve someone like my friend. I hope someday she'll find friends who will not take advantage of her. She deserves the world.
Your friend must be me. I am everything that you describe her as.
That's my friend. I feel so bad because whenever we watch something, I know she's not interested and I tell her 'we can watch something else' and she's very quick to say 'no, that's fine, we can watch it.' I also feel bad because whenever she shows me something, I'm very quick on 'but I have to show you one more thing'. The worst thing is, I know why she does it. It's because she gets pushed away or ignored at school and doesn't have many friends, so she feels like she has to like the same stuff as I do because that's how I will be her friend. Unfortunately, we don't go to the same school anymore, but we see each other often.
Same
Even my friend is also the same and she knows it
Why once she even asked me what she should change about her and I told her that she is too over polite
I hope that she will turn out to be a strong woman and stop sweating 'bout what others think of her😉🤗😏
No ones fault if she gets taken advantage of should've learned to say no from the beginning.
Well this "taking advantage of you" actually suits me. I always pay for my classmates who can't pay for something this had gone for years now that whenever there's something to pay they turn their heads on me expecting me to pay for them but if I don't they'd get mad and ignores me for the rest of the day even says mean things like " she's so selfish" etc. And I don't like that I don't like people not liking me so I go ahead and do what they ask of me. I would go home without any money left when my mom ask I would lie saying stuff like " I was hungry and my food wasn't enough ".
I can relate to your comment a lot! I always feel like i have to say yes and if it helps them or be brightness their day i'll be happy to do it! But sometimes people see that as a way to take advantage of me i've noticed it a few times but i've never pointed it out because i just can't do it i often sometimes feel like my opinions don't matter so i prefer to keep my opinions to myself it's really hard to know that your being taking advantage of but yet you don't do anything about it because you don't want to seem rude or anything
Friend: Do you want any food?
My POV: I want McDonald’s but I don’t want to sound needy
Me:Nah I’m good
Hun, never reject food. You cannot afford to hurt food's feelings XD. On a serious note tho, just say it, they asked first so go with it they can't logically blame you for wanting food if they asked you if you want food. It would be different if they didn't ask first
Needy huh ;) SHJSSKJDD SORRY WATTPAD MADE. ME THIS WAY
@@tazkiaarefin im- 😭
Jeon Jimin O-O XD
@@tazkiaarefin i dont get it..
"are you staring to worry?"
**HEAVY BREATHING**
I learned this a bit too late in life.
One day I realised I had no close friends, and seemed to be doing way too many things for others who couldn't care less about my health and wellbeing.
It hit home when I was finally overwhelmed and stepped away and started to say no to something. For the next few months I kept being asked to consider it anyway despite politely explaining I did not have the capacity repeatedly.
Ignore them. Be you. That's all that should matter.
"It's not selfish to take care of yourself"
Words I really need to acknowledge in life
This destroyed me mentally. Especially since I was in some sort of hell of toxic friends and had a toxic boyfriend as well. Then I finally cut off everyone that's been taking advantage of me being super nice to them and dumped my boyfriend. Well, I've lost most of my friends now but atleast my mental health is better.
Ko Ka. Take care of yourself.
Yes good idea you didn't you shouldn't be around negative people it'll catch on to you!
Same
I have no friends just my family, and my brother, i dont know I feel like he’s manipulating me, but maybe I’m over-reacting????
You have now created space in your life to welcome new, good, kind people into your life. Take the lessons you've learned and make connections with people who, first and foremost, respect you and will appreciate your kind heart and generous spirit without taking advantage of it.
“Don’t over apologise”
Me, a Canadian- Sorry🤭.
@K A I I Yep... too apologetic-
I'm white and that's me 😅
sowry*
Zoe CoolGurl um Canadians aren’t a race
Yaboi Potat exactly
"You can state your side in a calm, peaceful way, and others will appreciate your honesty-"
75% of the internet: *No.*
Tinder : sweating intensely
So true.. and those very same people probably claim that they are “too nice.”
It's such a pity that this is accurate. People just don't know how to disagree with maturity.
@@becca_rose_x if they think they are too nice so maybe they can build up that character maybe no offense by the way!!!
and along with that doesn't mean theh have to be totally perfect tho hehe..
"Sorry."
"Stop saying sorry."
"Oh, okay, sorr- I mean, uh, alright."
I am “too nice” but don’t know any other way i don’t want anyone else to feel the way I feel so I try to help but it’s overwhelming at times
Me too
If u don't have time or energy to help someone or simply feel uncomfortable, you can say something like:"Sorry, I won't help u now because...." I hope this is good advice 😅
@@starwolf8499 this is the hardest part for me
@@mukulgoel1097 I know it can really be hard. I once used to be like u. Then I faked not caring anymore until I made it. It's said "Fake it till you make it" I know it's hard but try ur best! You'll soon make it😉
@@adrianabak9678 okay will try thankyou for your advice
I feel like for so long I've been too nice and get taken advantage of, that it's hard to learn not to. But sometimes I put up walls and then people think of me as rude for speaking my mind once. Then other times they tell me I'm too nice. So how should I act? with my friends, I'm always helping them, hearing their problems out and giving them advice when they need it. But I feel like such a bother if I tell them my problems. It's the same with my family who didn't even know I was suicidal back then. I feel like they don't know a big part of me, because of how many of my issues I hide. I'm trying hard to focus on myself more, trying to detach myself from others, and to be more open. I always question whether I'm not nice and generous, and remind myself to be to be selfish, sometimes to the point where it hurts me. it's hard because I've always been taught and pressured to be nice and to be a good girl. Thank you for coming to my short rant
This is literally my life as well, the saddest part is when people do too much for others even when they don't deserve it, they end up alone and is very ironic for life when you see very selfish people usually surrounded by people and get their needs met.
Do what you fucking want to ❤️
@@grimbea_jow Exactly, most of the time selfish people seem to be surrounded by a lot of people. There’s this kid In my school that’s so mean and selfish, but because he’s so popular when he says something mean or starts being disrespectful talking bad about somebody else’s looks, people just laugh and don’t say anything about , and it’s so annoying, I wish I could say something to him, but again I’m not brave enough. 😔
Stop listening to others..do what u feel is right..have your own definition of being nice nd taking care of yourselves.. set your own boundaries around you..and it would always be great to get a professional therapist if u cannot say your problems to your family and friends..Take care of yourself..If u give yourself worth , people will respect u.
Wha? Are you ME from and alternate universe!?!
other people: dont say sorry its not your fault and its getting anoying
me: sorry..
Shtoppit.
*internet hug*
Yea
Me too...
That's meeee
That is me, I don’t get told it is annoying luckily..😂
I feel like me and my friend are being too nice to each other, I usually just say, “Whatever you want!” and my friend says “No it’s ok I’ll do whatever you want!” 😔
You shouldn't feel like that....it only means you got yourself a real friend
You know your too nice when you’d rather get your feelings hurt than a strangers by taking the blame for stuff...A STRANGERRRR 😭 the heck is wrong with me
Ikr😓
i thought it was only me😭😭
Mary-Therese same with me.
You need to care for yourself too! I did this many times but those strangers didn't appreciate it so I've become tougher.
Same
8/8 new record, I forgot who said it, but someone said “I don’t feel as if I’m likable so I settle for being useful.”
No I'm likeable. It's just that others aren't likeable. Miss me on that, wrong one. It's definately not a me thing. Although I will admit I'm extra guarded.
Psych2go: you apologize too much
Me: okay. *pulls out the “I’m sorry” card*
I’m sorry that I said *sorry*
I'm always too nice for my own goods. Yes I go out of my way to make others happy and not my own self.And yes I always agree with what everyone else wants. I never tell people what I want. Because I feel they don't care what I feel or think. Yes, I have a strong need to feel liked. Most of these fit me. People should like me for who I am and not take advantage. I allow them to.....
What often happens to me is when multiple people are talking (3 or more), I rarely speak my mind because I don’t want to interrupt what they’re saying. And when I want so say something, they’ve already moved on to the next subject.