He and the ex have no children together, there is no reason for them to be in contact. Unfortunately, he still loves/attracted to his ex. When people are in love with YOU, they have tunnel vision.
“How do I verify the truth?” He is already causing you to question your view of reality. You know the truth, but you refuse to accept it because you want it to work out so badly. You deserve so much better. 💔
I definitely dodged a bullet. I was getting breadcrumbed by a dude that I was talking to for three months. He talked about his ex a lot and the more I look back the more I realize he was not over her. He tried getting sex out of me with no commitment. I RAN!
Yep, sounds like my ex but we were together for 7 months, 7 months of lies, abandonment, silent treatment, emotional cheating and finally discard. I hope he believes in God or karma so he won't be surprised with a visit.
My ex continued to text me and see me despite living with his much younger gf. He would tell me he wasn't happy and he was going to leave her. So I stupidly continued to see him. We had 8 years together and the break up was a complete shock. Almost as shocking as the day I found out from one of our mutual friends that he had actually married her. A woman he had never been faithful to. This letter is reminiscent of my situation. Sounds like this guy needs validation from multiple women to feel OK with himself. You deserve better. I know it hurts, believe me. I never told his wife about the fact that he never stopped seeing me. I just finally decided I deserve better.
Sounds like my ex, validation from multiple women coz he didn't receive it from his own mother. I know he has mummy's issues, not my problem anymore. I leave him for the streets. No accountability, no apology and no communication. He knows that I know he is guilty. Lesson learned.
When I was younger I was extremely religious. I read my bible often, prayed and fasted for those less fortunate than myself and constantly gave to the homeless and volunteered at orphanages. I also did more church activities and hanging with fellow church members than I did with my friends outside the church., Because of all this I thought I was a really really good and moral person. Looking back on myself I see that I was not automatically a good person because I "was religious," I wasn't bad, I just wasn't good either. It is very easy to become arrogant and self-righteous when you wear the cloak of religion so you ignore the mean and hurtful things you do to others outside of "doing God's work." I don't think I was unique or special (though at the time I thought I was). Looking at it now I think most people assume that when dating someone who "believes in or fears God" they can let their guard down when personally I truly believe it is the opposite. You should have you guard up MORE and be even MORE critical with someone who "openly" puts their religion in your face because those are the people who will have a harder time seeing their own flaws. They will struggle seeing that they did anything emotionally wrong towards you in the relationship and they will be OVER critical of your actions if it goes against how "they see Gods word" for example God shamming you about posting certain pictures or even raising your kids a certain way. This man sounds to me like he falls in this category; mistaking his religious piety for being an actual good person. This confusing allows him to ignore all his questionable actions towards the letter writer and others because again he is "following God."
It’s one thing to not know that someone is still in love with their ex, but when it’s a known fact that such is the case, it’s wise to realize that this situation is nothing short of disastrous. There’s way too much drama early in the relationship. Honestly,get out while you still can this ex is like a damned shroud here. I wish you the very best my love 😍
He’s not available for a relationship. I hope she finds some healing and realizes she deserves more in a relationship. My younger self relates to her situation. She’s afraid her past abuse is clouding her judgement. I would agree. She’s doing what fairy calls “ crap fit.” I wish for her a happy, wholesome, healthy relationship with herself and others. This is not it.
I'm sorry for the writer but she's just a place holder, nothing more. We attract what we think we deserve and this isn't what she really wants. So many red flags screaming at here and she still tries to justify him. He tells her on so many levels that he's not the one for her. If a man really wants you then there are no doubts. No hot and cold switches. This guy clearly isn't boyfriend material and definitely not husband material. Run and don't look back...
Two words: "Ditch him." Letter writer, I hope you put yourself 1st: healing and discovering/mastering self-love. Once you're farther along, you won't even have the appetite for such a hot mess as this guy. You deserve way better, and he needs to work on himself separately. Wishing you the best. Thanks, Anna, for walking us through this situation! Will you please teach us more about how to grow a healthier partnership towards readiness to commit, determining "love" vs honeymoon phase, and when you're ready and mature enough to discuss marriage?
I have been there done that!! he’s not going to change. Even if he stops seeing M or talking to her.(you will NEVER know). Please dump him!!! if he cared for you this would not be an issue with M or anybody else!!! Run, run run. You deserve better, you’re not seeing some ex while you’re with him. Think of yourself first. Dump him.!!! Don’t look back!!
Walk away and don't look back is my advice here. Good riddance. Been in a similar situation but we were older....and him 18 yrs my senior. Listened to yakking about exes, one in particular. He'd text and call right in front of me! Told him my feelings about it and it just didn't register. I have my share of exes too, and an ex-husband yet I do not stay in contact with them, nor do I talk about them to my current partner. It's a hurtful, disrespectful, insensitive, and unnecessary thing to do. Gave me the 'she's the mother of my child' bit, which didn't fly since the 'kid' was nearly 50 and the product of an accident on some commune. I finally got fed up and took off....zero contact, as is my policy w/all exes and former husband. Once it's over, they fall off the planet for me. Good luck to the letter writer.
Keep in mind that there are many people who are still entangled with an ex but they don’t make it known, well, at least, not vocally. I’m certain that there are people who can pick up on this because of the way the other person behaved, though. I honestly think that we can only go into a relationship, never believing that we are the main person there. It’s almost a guarantee that the vast majority of people are in relationships with people but they have someone else that they truly want to be with. Weird, huh? Unfinished business can truly wreck havoc on people.
I think there is truth in what you said. And the situation is exacerbated by the modern narrative that it is 'mature' or 'healthy' to hang onto past partners as 'friends.' In the past, when it was the norm to let a relationship end and move on, it probably didn't happen so much. It's much more difficult to truly get over a person when they are still part of your life and you are reminded every time you see them of the love, history, etc. that you shared together...
@@suzy1750 especially with social media! In the past, it was much easier to avoid/end contact after a break up. Now ppl still follow their ex and get hurt when they see the ex with someone else or appearing to do well in life
He could just be playing a game of making his ex jealous who knows. Him not wanting to go public but still wanting to live with you is definitely mixed messages as is him texting his ex, esp at night. I agree its not closure. Good advice Anna ! You deserve better Meg and you're making sacrifices that you're already resentful about. He doesn't sound like he's over her, nor her over him. It's like a very messy triangle ! Forget about marriage. I would tell him that you're not at all comfortable with his involvement with his ex. Sounds like you should get out and meet someone else. Bless you ♥️🌟🙏🏼🎶😇🕊💫 P.s. thanks for the list of red flags ! 💝
okay if james isnt willing to do that then thats not chill. your partner should always be willing to flaunt you on social media, especially if you ask for it!!
I really appreciate this video. At the end you said what I needed to hear. My daughter set a goal about re-assessing a relationship. Unfortunately he knows about the timetable.
i think M is trying to cause issues but im also glad shes telling you though. id like to know if my bf was still talking to his ex. im sure M just wants yall to separate but honestly... isnt that for the best
Anna, not sure if you read comments. I have tried several times to access your worksheets on pdf. When I try to click on the link in your email to me, nothing happens. This has been the case for some time. Disappointing.
This is not something we can help you with on RUclips, where you are anonymous. Please reach out to the support team, or reply to the e-mails you get, at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com and they'll help you.
I guess she needs to spell it out for you? It is pretty obvious to other people in the comments what some of the signs are... Did you listen to the video??
He and the ex have no children together, there is no reason for them to be in contact. Unfortunately, he still loves/attracted to his ex. When people are in love with YOU, they have tunnel vision.
Yup, and if someone is in love with you, he/she is proud to show you off to the world. They aren't trying to keep you a secret from anyone...
“How do I verify the truth?” He is already causing you to question your view of reality. You know the truth, but you refuse to accept it because you want it to work out so badly. You deserve so much better. 💔
If it’s not a “Heck, Yes!”, it’s a “No.” Next!
I definitely dodged a bullet. I was getting breadcrumbed by a dude that I was talking to for three months. He talked about his ex a lot and the more I look back the more I realize he was not over her. He tried getting sex out of me with no commitment. I RAN!
Good for you !!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
🎶and I ran so far awaaaaay!!! ❤
@TWBarb Beautiful ! I'm proud of you too ! I'll remember to do the same if this happens to me ! Way to go ! 👌🏼
Yep, sounds like my ex but we were together for 7 months, 7 months of lies, abandonment, silent treatment, emotional cheating and finally discard. I hope he believes in God or karma so he won't be surprised with a visit.
My ex continued to text me and see me despite living with his much younger gf. He would tell me he wasn't happy and he was going to leave her. So I stupidly continued to see him. We had 8 years together and the break up was a complete shock. Almost as shocking as the day I found out from one of our mutual friends that he had actually married her. A woman he had never been faithful to. This letter is reminiscent of my situation. Sounds like this guy needs validation from multiple women to feel OK with himself. You deserve better. I know it hurts, believe me. I never told his wife about the fact that he never stopped seeing me. I just finally decided I deserve better.
Sounds like my ex, validation from multiple women coz he didn't receive it from his own mother. I know he has mummy's issues, not my problem anymore. I leave him for the streets. No accountability, no apology and no communication. He knows that I know he is guilty. Lesson learned.
When I was younger I was extremely religious. I read my bible often, prayed and fasted for those less fortunate than myself and constantly gave to the homeless and volunteered at orphanages. I also did more church activities and hanging with fellow church members than I did with my friends outside the church., Because of all this I thought I was a really really good and moral person. Looking back on myself I see that I was not automatically a good person because I "was religious," I wasn't bad, I just wasn't good either. It is very easy to become arrogant and self-righteous when you wear the cloak of religion so you ignore the mean and hurtful things you do to others outside of "doing God's work."
I don't think I was unique or special (though at the time I thought I was). Looking at it now I think most people assume that when dating someone who "believes in or fears God" they can let their guard down when personally I truly believe it is the opposite. You should have you guard up MORE and be even MORE critical with someone who "openly" puts their religion in your face because those are the people who will have a harder time seeing their own flaws. They will struggle seeing that they did anything emotionally wrong towards you in the relationship and they will be OVER critical of your actions if it goes against how "they see Gods word" for example God shamming you about posting certain pictures or even raising your kids a certain way. This man sounds to me like he falls in this category; mistaking his religious piety for being an actual good person. This confusing allows him to ignore all his questionable actions towards the letter writer and others because again he is "following God."
It’s one thing to not know that someone is still in love with their ex, but when it’s a known fact that such is the case, it’s wise to realize that this situation is nothing short of disastrous. There’s way too much drama early in the relationship. Honestly,get out while you still can this ex is like a damned shroud here. I wish you the very best my love 😍
A total "Yikes!"
He’s not available for a relationship. I hope she finds some healing and realizes she deserves more in a relationship. My younger self relates to her situation. She’s afraid her past abuse is clouding her judgement. I would agree. She’s doing what fairy calls “ crap fit.” I wish for her a happy, wholesome, healthy relationship with herself and others. This is not it.
"He made me give up my..." - that phrase in itself is very concerning. I think your tough love was appropriate here, Fairy.
Run as fast as you can. It was too painful to even hear this to the end. Please move on for your own sanity and self-love. You can do it.
I'm sorry for the writer but she's just a place holder, nothing more. We attract what we think we deserve and this isn't what she really wants. So many red flags screaming at here and she still tries to justify him. He tells her on so many levels that he's not the one for her. If a man really wants you then there are no doubts. No hot and cold switches. This guy clearly isn't boyfriend material and definitely not husband material. Run and don't look back...
Two words: "Ditch him." Letter writer, I hope you put yourself 1st: healing and discovering/mastering self-love. Once you're farther along, you won't even have the appetite for such a hot mess as this guy. You deserve way better, and he needs to work on himself separately. Wishing you the best. Thanks, Anna, for walking us through this situation! Will you please teach us more about how to grow a healthier partnership towards readiness to commit, determining "love" vs honeymoon phase, and when you're ready and mature enough to discuss marriage?
I've baked a lot of path-to-commitment material into my Dating course. I'll plan to cover this more on RUclips in the new year.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy That's fabulous news, and I'll stay tuned for your new videos - thank you, Anna, and happy holidays✨️😊
And after she untangles herself from this... She needs to do some soul searching via Therapy,12 steps and hobbies.....
I have been there done that!! he’s not going to change. Even if he stops seeing M or talking to her.(you will NEVER know). Please dump him!!! if he cared for you this would not be an issue with M or anybody else!!! Run, run run. You deserve better, you’re not seeing some ex while you’re with him. Think of yourself first. Dump him.!!! Don’t look back!!
Texting at 1:00 am is a booty call 📱
Meg, he is not a suitable partner for a relationship right now and that's all you need to know.
Just so she knows... he will NEVER be untangled with his ex!!
Better no relationship than a hot mess like this!!
I believe this young precious lady needs to move on. How did the boyfriend's ex get the new girlfriend's number. Live him alone.
Walk away and don't look back is my advice here. Good riddance. Been in a similar situation but we were older....and him 18 yrs my senior. Listened to yakking about exes, one in particular. He'd text and call right in front of me! Told him my feelings about it and it just didn't register. I have my share of exes too, and an ex-husband yet I do not stay in contact with them, nor do I talk about them to my current partner. It's a hurtful, disrespectful, insensitive, and unnecessary thing to do. Gave me the 'she's the mother of my child' bit, which didn't fly since the 'kid' was nearly 50 and the product of an accident on some commune. I finally got fed up and took off....zero contact, as is my policy w/all exes and former husband. Once it's over, they fall off the planet for me. Good luck to the letter writer.
Good for you. I'm sure your current partner appreciates it too...
Keep in mind that there are many people who are still entangled with an ex but they don’t make it known, well, at least, not vocally. I’m certain that there are people who can pick up on this because of the way the other person behaved, though. I honestly think that we can only go into a relationship, never believing that we are the main person there. It’s almost a guarantee that the vast majority of people are in relationships with people but they have someone else that they truly want to be with. Weird, huh? Unfinished business can truly wreck havoc on people.
I think there is truth in what you said. And the situation is exacerbated by the modern narrative that it is 'mature' or 'healthy' to hang onto past partners as 'friends.' In the past, when it was the norm to let a relationship end and move on, it probably didn't happen so much. It's much more difficult to truly get over a person when they are still part of your life and you are reminded every time you see them of the love, history, etc. that you shared together...
@@suzy1750 especially with social media! In the past, it was much easier to avoid/end contact after a break up. Now ppl still follow their ex and get hurt when they see the ex with someone else or appearing to do well in life
He could just be playing a game of making his ex jealous who knows. Him not wanting to go public but still wanting to live with you is definitely mixed messages as is him texting his ex, esp at night. I agree its not closure. Good advice Anna ! You deserve better Meg and you're making sacrifices that you're already resentful about. He doesn't sound like he's over her, nor her over him. It's like a very messy triangle ! Forget about marriage. I would tell him that you're not at all comfortable with his involvement with his ex. Sounds like you should get out and meet someone else. Bless you ♥️🌟🙏🏼🎶😇🕊💫
P.s. thanks for the list of red flags ! 💝
‘Just’ playing games ….
@Echidna7095 yes indeed ! Done with emotional/ mind games! No more emotional rollercoaster rides for me ! 🌞
Would be nice to hear a part 2 of these type of videos in a years time.
I believe she is being used.... run!!
wtf how would anyone think this is a good partner? 😔
RUN!!!!!
Thanks for posting this video..
So good today, Fairy! 💜
okay if james isnt willing to do that then thats not chill. your partner should always be willing to flaunt you on social media, especially if you ask for it!!
By 2:34, how else spotted SEVERAL red flags?? 🚩 🚩
Such very good advice, Anna!
Once Again, words of 🦉🦉🦉🙏❤️
Who who who? 😂just kidding..i know you mean wisdom and I agree. I'm light hearted now because of Anna...her videos literally saved my life.❤be blessed
@ 😎💔🐺
I really appreciate this video. At the end you said what I needed to hear. My daughter set a goal about re-assessing a relationship. Unfortunately he knows about the timetable.
Three minutes in and I stopped listening. The guy is shady. Time to go and find an honest man. If you are uncomfortable about being yourself, GO NOW.
Good . Thank you
i think M is trying to cause issues but im also glad shes telling you though. id like to know if my bf was still talking to his ex. im sure M just wants yall to separate but honestly... isnt that for the best
Easy, this is not healthy.
❤
Christine Albright
BRILLIANT VIDIO 💖!...
THANK YOU💖!...
"+"!..."💖"!...
Get rid of James
Anna, not sure if you read comments. I have tried several times to access your worksheets on pdf. When I try to click on the link in your email to me, nothing happens. This has been the case for some time. Disappointing.
This is not something we can help you with on RUclips, where you are anonymous. Please reach out to the support team, or reply to the e-mails you get, at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com and they'll help you.
@ Thank you. Just thought it might be a problem on your end.
Nooooo….this guy sounds like a liar and manipulator.
What’s the signs? Lol I thought this was directly going to list the signs smh you’re giving advice to someone specifically 🤷🏽♀️
I guess she needs to spell it out for you? It is pretty obvious to other people in the comments what some of the signs are... Did you listen to the video??
Unsuscribed
And most of these problems comes from the fact that so few follow God's recipe for relationships.