Why Dating After Marriage SUCKS! With Paloma Faith
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- Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
- Content Warning: Miscarriage
Is the world ready for free women? Paloma Faith feels society grooms girls and women to make themselves smaller, to take up less space, and to dismiss their own needs... and she’s calling bullshit on it.
In this chat Fearne and Paloma discuss the exhaustion that can come with being a nurturer - whether you’ve got children or not. They also talk about how over-achievers are often preoccupied with being seen as everything - smart, funny, caring, sexy, independent - and why it’s too much for one person to take on. How can we learn to ask for and accept help from others?
Paloma opens up about why she chose to carry on working while miscarrying, and the pressure that miscarriage put on her relationship.
Plus, why does Paloma really hate the expression “you’ve got this”?
Paloma’s book - MILF: Motherhood, Identity, Love, and F*ckery - is published by Happy Place Books, and is out now.
ABOUT HAPPY PLACE
Fearne's HAPPY PLACE is a place to celebrate honesty, authenticity and community. Fearne delves into life, love, loss and everything in-between by chatting to inspiring individuals who have made a change in their own lives or help other people to find different ways of seeing life as she reveals what happiness means to them.
Happy Place is a space that is safe for all where difference is celebrated and the extraordinary is discovered. A place to focus on the positives and to help you find the joy every day - big or small.
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ABOUT FEARNE COTTON
Fearne Cotton is an English television and radio presenter, mother, broadcaster, writer and founder of Happy Place, a place where Fearne holds difficult but important conversations to encourage self-care and self-appreciation, creating a positive impact on the world, giving everyone a voice and actively listening.
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Scripted is out now.
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okay...but... There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years back, my wife and I were almost divorcing because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a hard time, but we got past it.
I get why what you're saying is so important, and I honestly want to be happy too. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't imagine my life without her; my love for her is strong. I really want her to come back, and I'm fully dedicated to making that happen. We've tried different paths, like therapy, to fix things.
Moving on from someone you hold dear is invariably challenging, but in my experience, I was guided by a spiritual counselor who prevented the breakdown of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Thank you for this advice. I'll promptly start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm optimistic that pursuing this approach will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; her absence weighs heavily on me.
welcome
Dating apps are hopeless for everyone, Paloma. There is no point in seeking a serious relationship via these apps. Just carry on being true to yourself and the right person for you will come along at the right time 🎉
I was in a supermarket recently, where a man was at the checkout with a toddler , the cashier was friendly and even packed his shopping. Fast forward to a mum with two small children, at the checkout, who was left to pack her own shopping...and no friendly chatter😢
She’s a lovely lovely person. Honest, caring and thoughtful. I’m glad she is in this world. It makes it a better place.
I'm sixty and my children are grown but I can still relate to nearly everything...because it doesn't stop!
Hi there, I'm from Australia. and I wanted to drop by and say that this is such quality content. I laughed so much during this episode and you can really feel the love and friendship between you both. I am definitely going to get hold of Paloma's book and I'm so glad I came across this channel, Keep it up x
Why is everyone being so mean? Just because they are wealthy Mums with problems, doesn’t mean they don’t have problems. Just because they can throw money at their problems, doesn’t mean the problem doesn’t exist and they don’t feel defeated in doing so.
I hear the ‘check your privilege’ argument, most Mums have the exact same problems and no option to throw money at it. But surely talking about it and normalising the conversation is better than not at all?
Don't see anyone being mean personally
Paloma, I feel your words and how you feel when you are overwhelmed! I feel exactly like this sometimes, too! You speaking so honest is so refreshing, to hear! Please never change ❤
I love Paloma. So honest and funny. This book sounds great. ❤
Newsflash to Paloma, being sectioned is NOT A BREAK, it is a nightmare and where I appreciate her humour in her inability to cope and wanting recognition for this fact I just wanted to inform her of the utter misery of being under a section 😢
I’m so sorry you went through that I was in there three months. Thought I’d spend the rest of my life in there! Hope you’re doing well now
What was bad about it?
Terrific interview Paloma has such an incredible woman. She has such a strength. There is nothing like being a mum! I love all the laughs and real, honest conversations. Paloma having a book is sensational!❤📚
Not me cackling 28 minutes in like that wasnt my EXACT response to unhealed breakup trauma 😂😂😂
Our mums probably felt the same
Thank you Paloma, this was a fantastic interview, I related to so much of what you said. Thank you, all these pressures and issues that women face every day need to be talked about more, because we are constantly being sold the misconception that we are having it all now, and it’s simply not the case……we are doing more than we ever have but do not have the freedom that men have to actually give 100% to any of it. We’re left sacrificing so much of ourselves and still feeling like we’re failing at everything 😔 x
I have every feeling here!! We have 5 kids aged 2 -13 and even with my husband being balanced with me with household jobs and kids stuff, he has a full time job and runs our two businesses so we balance it out because we are and have to be a team. We are so lucky as our family are around us every day and that’s pretty much our support network which we are both so grateful for.
I’m terrible at relaxing when the kids are awake as someone will always seemingly interrupt what I want to do!
I’ve grown over the years of being a parent to girls and boys and both of us love cooking and aren’t afraid of showing all the kids how different we both are too.
Must get both Paloma’s and Fearne’s new books
I love Paloma and with Ferne too what a scream, absolutely loved this. So open and honest, can’t wait to read the book 📖
Such a great podcast among many greats. The week off on a mental health ward….been there many a time!!❤
LOVED THIS SO MUCH ❤
One of the best interviews I've ever seen 💞It turned into, almost, an incredibly honest therapy session. Two very intelligent wonderful lady's who clearly bounce off each other so well. I've always loved Paloma, she's highly intelligent and super funny. This is a much more serious side to her. She clearly knows a lot about psychology and is fascinating to listen to. I shall definitely be buying the book. I really related to a lot of what she said too. I hope she finds the peace and happiness she so deserves. 💖
When i had my daughter my partner walked away. Being a disabled mother in my fourties, shame on him. He wanted a child as did i. I didn't expect him to dump us.
His loss x
Forget that idiot and find your happy place
Soooo relatable
Just EVERYTHING about this podcast. ❤ I will be reading the book and then making my husband read the book.
Great chat love Paloma ❤ you two bounce off each other well.
Hi Fern, I have just listened to this podcast on Spotify, & you have better help as the sponsor I would highly recommend getting in touch with the councilling directory to ask how better help treat their counsellors, as my wife is a counsellor & has access to the councilling directories Facebook page & she was telling me about how it is full of people reporting not to work for better help as they have been poorly treated. As someone who stands up for better mental health for all, I thought you might want to hear the side of better help.
This was so validating
Totally agree women are judged in whatever they do. Not having children ! Is still a taboo, your seen as a lesser woman as you have not fufilled your ultimate role to procreate.People demand the right to know why ,was it choice or biology
I wish I had friends like Fern and Paloma when I had my firat baby 14 years ago.
I wish I had friends like Fern and Paloma at any point in life, fab girls!!🎉
Aw gosh well done you two 🙌🏻 what a great podcast discussion. These are really important feminist issues.
Very Honest Paloma, totally relate, love the podcasts Fearne 🤗🤗
Love what you are sharing. Here's some input: men who do 'get it' do exist, but they can seem odd... Because we are... which can trigger doubt.. through lack of familiarity with that kind of man. Small market. Personally, I love your music because of that sense of self which tries to get established.. reminds me of my baby granddaughter insisting 'I DO!' meaning let me do it.. ie be in control of my life (like from under 2yrs old. Go Girl!)
Try doing all this on minimum wage,! Living in a council house... Be grateful paloma
Woman have NEVER been told we can have it all. Woman make sacrifices once we become mothers some more then others!! Are we supposed to feel sorry for her with all her millions?! Albeit the majority of us might not know what it's like to be famous but what about all those mum's that HAVE to go to work to feed there kids Paloma has the choice some mum's DONT, abused mums, mums with disabled children where 45 mins of sleep is a luxury!!! This lady doesn't live in the real world
She can't just stop working, she"s not that wealthy. She has to work to support her family especially being a single parent now.
Women discuss their lives... people in this chat: Booooo! Be quiet!
Exactly 💯
❤
I know parenting and life is hard at times - but come on, there are people much worse off , try not being able to even have children. You guys chose the lives you’ve got- there’s people struggling to even clothe and feed their kids currently please get a grip.
Excatly that, well said
Having been through fertility treatment myself, multiple natural miscarriages, and sadly my children that died at birth, I don't feel shes being out of order or unaware at all. Pregnancy and parenting isn't always a nice or happy at times, and her being so brutally honest only allows others to also be honest and admit when they're struggling, rather than suffering in silence. Sometimes i think what have my partner and I done to deserve so much pain and forever grieving, but we're also aware others do have worse situations to us. That doesn't make the medical negligent induced ptsd, grief for 6 babies or loneliness of living without our children any less painful for us
Guess you don't have children?
@@AimeeWhite-yk6oi I do actually. And very grateful to have them.
Dating in general is trash 😂
paloma dear if you are reading this please go back to being red
What a load of awful waffle! Over thinking everything, honestly when your kids are young adults and you hardly see them you're going to look back at this and think what a pair of silly cows!!!! Just get on with it , it's called being a mum, stop blaming everything on to men!!
My boys are young adults and I don’t think this is waffle. There’s only one silly cow here and she’s not on the video🙄
@@lovelyenglishnature3277 yes and she goes by the name of lovely English nature! Believe it or not
@@lovelyenglishnature3277 yes and she goes by the name of lovely English nature! Believe it or not
@lovelyenglishnature3277 completely agree ❤❤
@@lovelyenglishnature3277😂😂😂