WIP and Chat | *TRIGGER* I've Been a Flake but Not on Purposse
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- Опубликовано: 11 июл 2024
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Today I'm doing a WIP and Chat but if you are new to my channel, please watch another. There are some trigger warnings here as I discuss where I've been and what I have been dealing with.
#adultcoloringchannel #derwent #adultcoloringart #wipandchat #anxiety
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Colorfully Optimistic
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Until next time, stay Colorfully Optimistic! 
Хобби
Hey all please do not watch this if you are uncomfortable talking about anxiety, loss, etc. Also, please be kind in your comments. I'm updating my subscribers and thumbs down and troll comments are just not necessary in this situation. I ask nicely in the video in hopes that those who watch will at least help in the regards.
I'm willing to bet most of your subscribers (like me) miss you when you're gone, but are never going to bail on you. We understand your life is way more than a youtube channel. So do what you need, when you need--with our blessing! We will still be here! (Fun nails, by the way!)
Kori, I am sorry to hear about your struggles. I can certainly relate, since I also have anxiety and panic disorder, stemming from PTSD. It’s a full time job to just to keep from falling off the rails sometimes. Just know that you are not alone, and we will be here for you. Take care of yourself first, we (your loyal subscribers) love you and aren’t going anywhere. Take all the time you need. ❤
Hey Kori! Thanks for the update. I’ve missed you posting. I’ve occasionally checked to make sure I was still subscribed because I haven’t seen anything from you. I’ve been watching your past videos to help support your channel. Please take care of yourself and know you have a community here waiting for you whenever you’re ready to post again. Sending hugs!
Have Grace with yourself Kori. Adulting is hard. I get it. We will all be here when you get some time.
Thank you so much.
So sorry for your losses ,as a palliative care nurse I would say there is no timeline on grief and how it affects daily life , comfort to you
Hugs to you sweetie. I totally know the struggles. Hoping it passes soon. Sorry for all the loss. That is never easy.
Sending good vibes and long distance hugs! I love you and your channel and life comes first! You have to take care of you! We miss you but we understand!
awe thank you my friend
Hugs to you Kori . So sorry to hear of your struggles . Your community will be here when you can.
Kori - your plate is so full, it runneth over. I think you are so amazing that you do all that you do and with such grace. I also suffer from anxiety in the afternoon and it ranges from annoying to terrifying. What I feel helps me the most is very deep breathing. I take a very deep breath, hold it for as long as I have can then slowly exhale. By the third breath, I start to feel a bit better. Also, I lean on God and that invaraiably brings me such peace. You do what you need to do for yourself and your family and your subscribers are going to be here for you no matter what. Just my opinion but I truly believe that. Hugs from Arizona. ❤
Kori you are in my prayers for life balance, peace, and joy. Give yourself grace girl. I appreciate all the videos you share and will understand if you close your Etsy shop. Take good care of you.🙏🤗
Thank you my friend! The store is open for now.
Please accept my condolences for your family's losses, and please give yourself grace my crafty friend. Taking care of yourself and your family are first and foremost. If people don't understand that then that's their problem. I'm happy to watch whatever content you post. I appreciate all you share and I think you are brave to share your personal challenges with us. You never know who you will bless with sharing struggles. Take care. Keeping you in my prayers.🙏🤗
Kori So sorry for your struggles, I am sending you love and hugs. I will never stop watchiong your channel. I hope you get back to feeling your wonderful self soon. Your you tibe family loves you.
You are too sweet. Thank you.
I'm sorry you are feeling so badly. I get it and feel for you. It is hard to break free from the cycles our brains control. I can so relate to you when you talk about literally sitting for hours fighting with yourself about what to do. It is so annoying. About the time you make a decision, it is bedtime. It's kind of like your brain is just waking up, and then you get frustrated that you can't stay up all night coloring (or whatever it is you decide to do). I'll be praying for you. Don't be too hard on yourself. You'll come thru this. And just so you know...my favorite videos are just you coloring whatever and talking about whatever. So just do what you feel like doing and let the stressful stuff go. It will all work it's self out in the end. ❤
Many hugs. We all feel what we feel, and we do what we need to keep on keeping on. I have every confidence that you will find a new normal, but things take time. Give yourself the grace you'd give someone else, and do what you need to to take care of yourself. I love you videos and coloring, and will always check in for them, whenever they pop up.
Kori, please allow yourself some grace. Family & self-care come first. Do what you need to do in your personal life & do what you want/can here when you feel you are able. Loss is hard, but is a part of life, so take joy in the memories you have with those loved ones, celebrate the life they had & shared with you. We lost 7 family members in less than a year, so I understand. Take the time to grieve, but don't let it consume you. Things will get better & this is only a small blip of time to get through. ((HUGS)) & we will still be around when you do come back. Love to you & your family!
You are a great woman and colorist. Keep the faith!
Thank you!
Hugs to you! Loss and grief are so hard. We understand. I will just keep watching the content you already have. 😊 There are so many helpful videos. Appreciate you so much. Take care of yourself!!!
Thank you so much for understanding. ❤️
Kori, you're a gem of RUclips, you have plenty of content to watch. Anxiety and panic attacks are no joke, you have to take care of yourself or you're no good to anyone or anything. Please, no need to reply.
Thank you Keni. You are so sweet, and I replied because I like to :)
@@ColorfullyOptimistic you're welcome Kori! I appreciate you. :)
Don’t give up!!!! You’re to valuable to the coloring community. ❤ where is your silent channel? Thanks for sharing and everyone will be here when you’re ready 😊
Sending you hugs and good thoughts. I get to feeling overwhelmed with things (and I'm retired, so there's no work or young children) but there's things I want to do and them I feel like I can't get motivated so I just sit on the couch and do something mindless. It's a horrible feeling and I hope you get to feeling more like yourself soon,. I will be waiting for your next video :)
You are definitely not a flake and you have a lot on your plate in your personal life. You are doing so much and for so many and you and your family come first full stop. Don’t ever feel like a flake or you are not doing enough because you are doing great.
Oh I know, just hard sometimes I feel like I am flaking out.
Kori, hugs. I'm sorry for all the losses, the busyness of your job and having to do so much to make sure all is taken care of in your absence. I do understand the feeling of being alone, and not being able to make a decision or make the effort to be with others...even if it might be on RUclips for you. Escaping into books has been something I've done over the years, especially when my kids were still at home. It's a good place to relax.As for me, and I hope lots of others, I'm not unsubscribing from any of your channels. We all need to take time for ourselves, too. I hope you rediscover relaxation in coloring soon. Hang in there!
Sending you and your family all the things Kori...
Thank you Kelly. You are too kind.
I’m so sorry Kori. I certainly don’t think you are being flakely. IMO, you need to take care of yourself,please don’t worry about those trolls out there . Some people have to find the negative in every situation . Please take baby steps and do what you can. I am not leaving your channel 💜
I am so glad I am not alone with these same feelings my age of 60 is not helping since I lost a friend which is scary because she was 65 😒I do hope you feel better soon love and hugs sweetie, look forward to your next video 😘
Please be kind to yourself. You are not a flake. I agree with your therapist about the burnout. Things will change! You can't do EVERYTHING all the time. Xoxo
Yeah for sure. I'm trying to avoid burnout as much as I can.
You have been going through a lot. I hope you figure something out sooner than later. Best wishes.
Thank you my dear. I appreciate it. 💖
im just sending you so much love
Thank you ❤️
@@ColorfullyOptimistic 😘🩷
Man girl your plate is not only full its Flippin over flowing I feel for you❤ just take one day at a time kimmy
Definitely doing one day at a time, hoping it will be much better soon. Thank you for your kind words. ❤️
Sorry for all your woes, we all go through a lot as our kids are growing up. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them. You tube comes after. But know that you are missed💕
Thank you Carol. I miss RUclips too for sure. It is my escape. ❤️
All you can do is your best. And your best sometimes is going to be giving yourself time sometimes to not do anything but nap & listen to audible. The aftermath of grief is different for all of us. For me when I lost several close relatives in a short time after the immediate impact there was a numb grief thing that happened. Sounds kinda similar to what you're describing. Just do what you can & what you need. We'll be here. Love and light to you.
Numb grief, yeah that's a good way to describe it. You just feel, well, frozen and numb. I'm so sorry for your losses, even if they are far past you, that's never something anyone should have to feel. I know its part of life, but still ❤️
hiya, take your time to get your head straight . your loyal subscribers will wait. everyone has their own path to walk, so stay strong and do whats right for you, love the colouring.
Thank you my dear. ❤️
Hang on girl we got this ❤… I’m going through the same thing right now but don’t lose hope and you faith will keep you strong.. for sure I’ll will keep you in my prayers and your family as well…
There’s no shame here, we all go through low moments and hard times and it’s ok. You are very loved by many of us here❤.
I'm sorry you are going through something similar. Just feeling frozen and stuck. I hope relief comes to you soon too as well ❤️
@@ColorfullyOptimistic things will get better ❤️🩹 it just take time , we need to keep our self optimistic ☺️and in good faith.
I have missed you so much! You are still a little ball of sunshine! No matter what. It's ok to take care of yourself first. I have been through similar things. I had two deaths in my immediate family that were not even a year apart. Along with moving three times since 2022. Because everything happened so fast paced it was difficult to decompress. It has taken two years. Only recently has it been a little better. Those of us that care for you and love you like a family member will always be here for you. ❤
Oh gosh two years. I'm so sorry for your losses, but I do think that word is quite spot on "decompress" as I definitely don't feel like I've had any time to actually do that.
@@ColorfullyOptimistic Thank you. I am no professional but I have been through a lot of loss. Also, life being busy and chaotic at times. However I did find that taking at least 15 minutes in the morning or a (few more if you can spare in the morning)!. Then at least an hour at night before bed for yourself helps a little. Whether it's having a favorite coffee drink or tea. Or being able to do something you enjoy for a few minutes helps to not only to decompress but also helps one to have that extra push to give back. If everyone just keeps taking pennies from the same piggy bank. What happens? Not only will it be empty but will collect dust. Then maybe it gets knocked a round a bit, till eventually it breaks. Even if we have no one to help put pennies back into our piggy bank. But there is hope if we take the time to put even one penny a day in our piggy bank it does help. So take whatever time you can afford for yourself each day. Because it's worth it and so are you!
❤️❤️❤️
Kori, You can't pour from an empty cup. You have to take care of you as well. It's not all about you, it is you too. I have to keep this in mind too. You do not owe the internet any explanation. RUclips is going to be here and those of us that love your content will be too.
I am sorry for your losses. It is hard to navigate without those staple people in your life and I totally get that. Especially when you would typically reach out to those people and can't anymore. Grief is rough.
Take care lady. See you when you can manage it!
Take your time. Also, that high school looks like a one floor prison.
It's two floors haha, but yes, it is absolutely ugly. Their school colors are burnt orange, brown and gold and they really wanted it to show as they keep adding them to the front. It makes me gag.
Kori you are so not a flake. Do not apologize. I just read this not so long ago. Very appropriate at this time I think. " Don't Give Up." "But You Can Totally Take A Break If You Want." When you return let it be on your time. All the best.
Was hood to hear from you. I'm sending BIG HUGS to you. It sounds like a good idea to limit the kids to one sport or maybe have your daughter go to one style of dance that's not competition at least for awhile. Your son should be driving soo and that will help too. It's very important to find some way to take care of yourself. I'm here if you want someone to talk with. I have a daughter I'm driving to multiple dr appointments weekly one is an hour drive one way as well as caring for my mil who has Alzheimers. Again, hugs.
Awe thank you. Yeah we are working out a way to limit sports, though my daughter's dance really isn't too bad -- at least her competition season is only 2 months while my son's is year-round. I can't wait for him to drive soon just to alleviate some of the stress of constantly having to be on the road here and there.
HEY! GOOD TO SEE YOU!!! SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR STRUGGLES....I HAVE A FEW SUGGESTIONS THAT HELPED ME...ONLY IF YOU ARE INTERESTED...
PEOPLE CAN'T "SNAP" OUT OF ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION-EVER...
THE WORLD WILL NOT END IF YOU TELL YOUR SON THAT HE NEEDS TO PICK ONLY ONE SPORT TO PARTICIPATE-PARENTS NEED NOT FEEL GUILTY TO SET BOUNDARIES WITH THEIR KIDS, THIS IS A LIFE LESSON FOR ADULTS TOO...
WHEN ONE HAS TOO MUCH ON THEIR PLATE, ONE WILL CERTAINLY FEEL OVERWHELMED, ANXIOUS AND EVEN PANIC B/C THIS A WARNING TO OUR BODIES THAT WE NEED TO STEP BACK AND RETHINK PRIORITIES AND THAT IS OKAY B/C NOBODY CAN HANDLE EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE-EVER-EVEN IF OUR BRAIN TELLS US THEY "SHOULD" BE ABLE TO, REMEMBER THIS IS OUR BODIES' WARNING TO OUR BRAIN...
WHEN FEELING ANXIOUS ASK YOURSELF "WHAT IS THE WORSE THAN CAN HAPPEN?" THEN PREPARE FOR WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL AND THEN LET THE REST GO...B/C THE WORSE WE THINK NEVER USUALLY HAPPENS-BUT ALWAYS ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION...
AT 2P WHEN YOU FEEL ANXIETY COMING ON GO OUTSIDE AND TAKE A WALK EVEN JUST AROUND YOUR DRIVEWAY OR BACKYARD...YOU CANNOT FEEL ANXIETY WHILE BEING IN NATURE AND WHILE CONCENTRATING ON NATURE.
HOPE THIS HELPS...IT DID FOR ME WHEN I WAS STRUGGLING TO BE A WIFE, PARENT, EMPLOYEE, NURSE TO EVERYONE, MAID, COOK, FRIEND, DAUGHTER, SISTER, DRIVER, AND TO BE ME ALL AT THE SAMETIME...PEACE & HAPPINESS MY FRIEND! YOUR TRUE SUBS WILL BE HERE WHILE YOU FIGURE ALL OF THIS OUT...GOD BLESS!
You poor kid. Your therapist is right...total burnout. And overload from bills, and family and pets and work. How can anyone keep up this kind of pace? You said that the things that you know are weighing heaviest are the things you really don't want to give up. But everything in you is screaming I don't want to do this anymore! I don't know where you are as to believing in God (that's not a criticism), but from personal experience, if God is in it, even if it's hard, there is grace...a feeling of "rightness" about what I'm doing, and things fall into place and the tiredness brings a feeling of satisfaction. But when the season is past then it becomes a struggle that gets heavier and harder to push. Often it takes a while before I get the message that it's time to "let go!". An example: I had a you tube channel that was growing and for a number of years it was a joy, the filming, the editing, the responding to comments. Then, the last year or so, the "grace" for it lifted and I struggled and struggled to push myself to keep going. Finally I couldn't do it anymore. That was almost four years ago. Every so often the thought comes to pick it up again, but I don't. That ship has sailed. I know, this is long, but no matter how "good" something is, if there is no joy, no peace, no amount of money, or newness, or activity, or possessions will be enough. For what it's worth, I think your soul is crying out for relief, even if that means making some major, major changes in your life. Like living somewhere less expensive, like the kids being less involved in extracurricular activities. It would take long talks and prayer and probably tears with your husband, but do you really, truly want to go on like this? You don't have to prove anything to anyone, sweetie. The only one you're accountable to is God. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to disengage from what others think. It's God first, then your hubby, then your children, then the rest of the world. I've probably said too much, but I'm old and I enjoy your chats but I understand, and my heart goes out to you.
Hi Kori, I've been a long time watcher, but commenting is one of those fights with anxiety things, so I don't comment nearly as often as I should. But I've been getting better recently, so will try to comment more regularly :) I'm sorry to hear how rough things have been...I wish there was something I could say that would help, but I know it doesn't really work that way, and words can feel especially empty at times like this.
And oh no, when you said the school was across the street I didn't know you meant *literally* right across your street! Looking at that must be one of those "one more thing to make feel sucky" kind of things :/
Anyways, I just wanted to leave a comment to let you know that I care 💛
Oh dear, I do believe darling that you are my cosmic twin. I have been exactly where you are and still am currently. My children are now grown which at times makes the anxiety worse because I don't have that buffer forcing me out. I hid it from my children for almost the entirety of their lives until I had a nervous breakdown brought on by an emotionally devastating divorce. Your son is old enough to help in small ways. Few people know just how debilitating anxiety can be - it literally affects every second of the day and if you're like me, my nights as I have panic attacks in my sleep. Mine has caused me to have severe social anxiety and agoraphobia. I also have spinal degeneration and severe nerve damage in my neck and arms which makes everything even worse because the constant pain makes my anxiety at times unbearable.
Everything you've said about "the void" is what I go through, and yep every day. I tend to lose myself in books and playing the Sims. My own novel is on the back burner because I have it all there but I'm a perfectionist in research and it starts overwhelming me -mine is a fantasy vampire. The constant building across from you could be affecting your anxiety subliminally, I live near a busy street and I can't be in there during busy parts of the day because just the noise starts making me extremely jittery.
I'm keeping you in my prayers Kori, because living with it every day I know exactly how your day goes - even with the tech as my daughter works for a tech company and I hear about her days. I'm sending you massive hugs, prayers and friendship from Ohio. You've got this girl - even if it's just one breath at a time.
❤🥰
Omg girl. That school is hideous. Yikes
It truly is an eyesore
Have you tried going to therapy because I have the same problems as you and talking to my therapist helps me a lot
Yes, I go weekly to therapy :)
wow lady you have a lot on your plate
Thank you my dear. It is getting better.
@@ColorfullyOptimistic so glad to hear that praying for you.