I MADE A MISTAKE AT 21:10 Elizabeth Swann isn't in Harry Potter, obviously. She is in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003). Thanks for catching that, guys. Uuuuuuh I mean... IN MY OPINION YOU'RE WRONG.
One thing I wonder if may be addressed or not about Rey's identity - "Rey" isn't even her real name. She grew up enamoured with the Rebellion, and even kept an X-wing pilot's helmet... we see her in TFA wearing it, while she eats in front of her AT-AT home - and on the side of the helmet, written in Aurebesh, we see the pilot's name; "Rey". She identified with that name from childhood, clearly, as she identified with the Rebellion. So then, what the Hell is her real name, then? Watch - I bet it will never be addressed :P lol By the way, of all TLJ review vids, I love your two-parter here the most! Non-toxic, no bullshit, plain logical facts and well made, deeply important points, all - excellent work! You've got a new subscriber :)
Honestly, if the goal was to bash men by emasculating Poe through Admiral Holdo, then they failed miserably as I sat there the whole time thinking she was a mole for the bad guys. Her actions and decisions were that destructive.
I also thought it was very "demasculating" as I term it, with women there at every turn to subjugate men, seemingly, then Admiral Holdo's final sacrifice at light speed seemed so glorifying of dominatrixes. It seemed a deliberate effort to knock male characters down a couple of notches in favor of female favoritism.
@Werewolf O. London, Esq. Nope. It just made us despise her as a person and character. Writers and directors these days have forgotten that even villains have to be likeable and relatable in some way if the audience is to care, and Admirable Holdo was anything but.
Holdo's "leadership" was one of my biggest pet peeves from my admittedly brief Navy time. "Respect goes *down* the chain of command as well as up it" being just one thing I was taught about command.
@@handsomebrick I want the old workplace environment back, free of HR, sexual harassment training and a culture of frigid, PC civility. I can't see a way to get that other than the one I described.
@D L L With no Jedi mind powers at all, I can deduce that you are a pathetic old fart that got busted for being lecherous. Either that or you are into guys and are fantasising about being able to give up half your salary for lots of men being around 😂
edt089 if you watch it again and think of Luke as a pedophile priest and Luke was caught in a students room at night, holding his “lightsaber” and then was sent to a place far away from children and put one a sex offenders list and not allowed to leave. It would explain everything perfectly.
I feel like I need to apologize to Mrs Kennedy for being born male and grew up loving Star Wars thanks to my Aunt and Father, who I guess would be man baby’s as well. Well said! I had many female friends who liked Star Wars as well.
@@tjpowers88 your comment gave me one of those happy-sad memories. My aunt Lisa was kind of a big influence on me and my outlook on life. While she didn't introduce me to Star Wars, when i got into Dungeons and Dragons in the late 80s she bought me a bunch of the rule books [in the bible belt] and introduced me to her favorite show Red Dwarf. I got to direct her to Farscape when it came out. I wish she had lived to see Firefly. Nerd aunts are the best!
You know a film is a stinking mess when the people who generally agree that the problems Kennedy is talking about are real not only hate the movie, but feel that it completely failed to address them in any meaningful way. Admiral Purple was a bad leader, they made Leia out to be an ineffectual leader, ignored the potential in Phasma's character, shat on Finn and Poe for no reason, and generally just made fan fiction written by a 3rd grader into a multi-million dollar film. Not to mention the blatant character assassination of Luke and Han.
@@hainekohanefuwa5308 yeah, they didn't have any characters i would want my daughter looking up to in the movie. Not sure how any of it can even be SJW/ Virtue Signalling if its just crap? Seems counter to any movement to uplift someone... but I'm starting to move into an area better suited for Dinesh D Souza to explain
Elsewhere in that leadership manual it lists "Be a good listener" and "Treat soldiers with dignity and respect. Leaders must show genuine concern and compassion for the soldiers they lead. It is essential that leaders remain sensitive to family members and include them in unit activities to the extent possible. Remember, respect is a two-way street; a leader will be accorded the same level of respect that he or she shows for others." Uhhh Rian, it's no wonder you can't write strong leaders. It takes one to know one. Or, in this case, write one....
Gwendoline Christie is worse for me. I get the feeling that Kennedy actually believes what she's saying (or at the very least is so desperate for approval from the progressives that she is willing to believe anything they want her to) but there's no way Christie actually believes that Phasma is relatable or has character depth. She's only spouting that hollow BS because she doesn't want to piss off the people writing her checks.
@@curtishammer748 she doesn't have to do that now though... Wait did phasma somehow survive falling to her firey depth death? Wait maybe this is the depth they talking about?
@@TheFixer_1 Not for her Disney checks, but it probably wouldn't be a good career move to publicly trash talk her former employer. The difference between her and Mark Hamill is that Mark doesn't need to give a fuck what Disney thinks of him because he's Mark Hamill. Besides, all those clips of her come from the TFA promo era. I understand why she's saying that stuff, but it doesn't make it any less cringeworthy.
I couldn't watch TLJ because I couldn't watch either Mark or Luke's soul die under ridiculous circumstances. I agree with nothing that Mark Hamill believes, except that Star Wars and the characters we so loved were uselessly destroyed because of a total lack of imagination and the need to use them to make their own parochial points.
@You tuber hahahaha the last jedi sopihsticated, you're funny, wait you were serious? let me laugh harder then HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
@You tuber Some people have gone so far to the dark side, there is no good in them to save. "Professional" film critics Bwhahahaha. And they wrote the books saying they're good at what they do???? You don't actually think about what you're saying, do you?
"Get your head out of your cockpit" Star Wars - The Last Jedi, 2017 "You know why they call it a cockpit, righ..." Captain Marvel, 2019 Just so original and hilarious!
It's not original, it's not hilarious, it's perverted and it's something foreign to Star Wars thus far . . . But it's all Disney knows, filth and Faery dust . . . Well, I think that's what that white powder was.
@@bobski8203 The sad thing is, normies who remain ignorant of the propaganda would call such jokes from Disney as "proof that it can be edgy and mature".
@@Dragblacker There is nothing mature about it, and the term edgy should lose its appeal once people consider the consequence of falling off that edge, or if you are referring to a cutting edge, the fact of what it is meant to cut off....
24:44 Mark Hamill: _"A lot of times I would say to Rian, 'You've got to think about the fans.' And he said, 'No. We've got to think about the story and we've got to think about OUR movie' " * idiots start clapping *_ Me: "THAT WAS CRITICISM, YOU MORONS!"
@@Lakrimoz usually in those studios the audience clap to whatever the guests say. Guest "I hope you all choke to death with your own crap" Audience: claps enthusiastically
Their either bought off morons or moronic fanboys with no critical thinking that will eat up anything that has the Star Wars brand slapped onto it. You decide which is worse.
@@itsthisguyagain1002 In Mauler's review of "The Last Jedi" there's several interview clips with Mark Hamill and some Disney bots. Mark is depressed and miserable and he clearly doesn't want to be there. And whenever Mark says something sincere-yet-slightly-critical about the movie, the bot lets out this really annoying Rob Schneider laugh, as if to say, "Oh, that Mark. What a wacky comment!" But Mark was NOT trying to be funny. He was trying to voice a serious concern about the movie. It's amazing Mark made it though the interview without throttling the guy. (And it shows how carefully managed these interviews are by Disney.)
@@KneelB4Bacon I've seen Mark gradually disasociate himself with Luke. Before sequels Mark regularly referred to Luke as himself (aka Mark saying "In RoTJ I saved Darth Vader and saved the galaxy" or "In first star wars I destroyed death star") you could see how much Luke was part of Mark and vice versa. But gradually he started to distance himself to the point that he said that he is "just paid to act a certain character in a movie" (I'm paraphasing from memory). Rian Johnson didn't just twist and shit on Luke Skywalker he killed a piece of Mark Hamill doing so.
They want us to think that they merely made money supplying the First Order. Capitalism is more complicated: They loan the money to the First Order, so the First Order can buy weapons from them. The Resistance has a credit score below 600, so they have to pay cash, and don't get a discount.
@Werewolf O. London, Esq. yeah, he has room to grow whereas she's a blank slate goddess type character. Problem is he's resolved his past by killing phasma, and he's mostly just comic relief, no real emotional development of his trauma from being a former stormtrooper
Werewolf O. London, Esq. yeah it’s super weird, the issue is it was freaking rian that decided to do it. Poe destroys starkiller base, it’s far more of a victory at least in terms of damage to the first order than Rey, and then he got smacked down so that holdo could be propped up as a paragon despite being utterly incompetent
@55:25 "Hope is like the sun" -General Gender Studies Why would somebody who travels through space and has been on many many planets in different solar systems say "The Sun" and not a sun, or a star? Something like Hope is like light from a star. There is no The Sun when you travel around the galaxy all the time.
Bretton Ferguson maybe because when they want to refer to how a sun appear at the surface of a planet they say « the » sun ? Because it’s not any sun, but they don’t want to refer to the name of the Star itself either ?
I agree. I think it's fine when a sargent or lieutenant says that because it's very likely that they haven't been given all the details of the "plan" either. So what they're doing there is telling you to have faith in the judgement of your superiors, reassuring you that people further up the chain of command actually HAVE a plan. But when you're at the TOP of the chain of command and you're saying sh*t like, "Hope is like the Sun" that doesn't work anymore. That's the kind of thing you say when you DON'T have a plan.
Why would Snope humiliate his second in command in front of all his officers thereby destroying the effectiveness of the entire command structure. It’s almost as if the writers have no understanding of what a competence hierarchy is....oh wait.
I'm not trying to defend tlj but didn't Vader do pretty much the same except that he literally killed them what would probably fuck things up even more?
Dennis Lief no. It has everything to do with projecting competency. Vader, gives warning and then follows through with execution. Coldly and cruelly. He is ruling through fear, but ultimately it is about the consequences of incompetence and providing an example; “see what happens to fools who don’t follow through with what they say? Now give me someone competent, and don’t fail me again.” The message is clear. The hierarchy is maintained. Competency is paramount. Motivation is established. Snoke on the other hand humiliates his second in command in front of all his subordinates and then let’s him continue in his duties. This makes Snoke look like an even bigger fool for letting him be in charge in the first place by making the buffoonery more exaggerated. He then lets him resume control. Now SNOKE looks twice as stupid as his officer. Last but most importantly is that it undermines the command structure. How can anyone honestly follow someone again after being so humiliated? That would make YOU incompetent. Hierarchy is destroyed. Competency is meaningless to the structure of command. It’s leadership 101.
Rian Johnson has said he "thought it would be funny" to make Hux a comedic character in this film. And that's a big problem with his writing. He does things on a whim, with no regards to character consistency or canon.
“If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame. But, if orders are clear and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers.” ― Sun Tzu Made me think of that quote when you were talking about Leia not taking responsibility for the battle plan.
Wasn’t Sun Tzu having concubines do a demonstration of his ability to show his ability has a general?In the end if I remember correctly it ended with 2 of them being beheaded.
Sun Tzu just didn't want to have the king behead him for conflating hookers with soldiers. WWII was full of stories of soldiers not following orders and winning objectives, or acting on their own, and winning ground. and others staunch in command doing the objective, then failing to gain any further cause no order was given.
I agree. Like when Leia orders Po to return to the fleet before he can finish his mission to destroy the dreadnought. Po even points out to her in the movie that, "these things are fleet killers" Did Leia not understand that if Po didn't take out the dreadnought that it would simply follow him back to the Rebel fleet and wipe them all out? Also, what were the bombers going to be used FOR if not to destroy the dreadnought?
@@KneelB4Bacon clearly. The writing in this part makes no sense whatsoever, but this whole premise in particular is so bizarre it kills the whole movie. One other close instance is the millennium falcon leaving and returning at-will. Why not just use this ability to get everyone to safety?
13:53 _"What kind of training did Kylo Ren need"_ Well, according to Rian, all Kylo Ren needed to do to "complete his training" was to kill an unarmed girl while his master held her down.
Actually makes sense as part of "dark side training" seems to be adjustment of morality. Getting him to kill a helpless prisoner he obviously now has emotional attachment to ( after failing to kill his mother in a similar situation) seems believable.
@@PViolety I don't recall claiming that it would. Checking....... Checking...... Nope. I didn't do that. What I do think it means is that such an action would be a symbolic, if not actual, breaking of old moral constraints, that would make him a MORE EFFECTIVE Sith, in that he would be prepared to commit more "heinous" acts thus becoming less fettered by "light side" constraints like mercy and ideas of fair play and sympathy. Luke Skywalker "Is the Dark Side more powerful?" Yoda " No. Faster. Easier. More seductive."
Well, Snoke was Palpatine's puppet. So I guess all Kylo Ren needed to do to "complete his training" was to kill his master, not Rey! Palpatine was inside Kylo's head and knew his real intent. And that was exactly what Palpatine wanted.
nope, spaceballs stays true to its characters, this piece of crap doesnt even get that right maybe they can regain some of the lost fans in a couple of years when they start a new story, but EP 9 is DOA
funny but Spaceballs was great and the Spaceballs were semi threating and Lone Star and Barf weren't useless however tlj is Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money except bad
I was in theaters in 1977 as a kid. I was immediately captivated by the most visually stunning and character driven story I had ever seen. I realize I was young, but the film had such heart. I began collecting the toys. I loved the way each character was so well written. By the time Empire arrived I was a bit older and realized just how deep and dark the story had become. To me, Empire was perfection. When I compare it to the Last Jedi, how weak and useless the story is, the horrible characters, dialog, etc. Guess I am a fossil, but darn, what was Disney, Rian Johnson, Kathleen thinking?
Hackfraud said it early on: it's post-modernism. These over-educated morons bought into all the university BS about how anything old is bad and it all needs to come down in order for the "intellectuals" to build a post-scarcity socialist utopia where everyone and everything is taken care of. That's what they believe, anyway. So in their minds destroying things is fine because then it means they can fill the void with their own ideas. Of course, their ideas are absolutely terrible and can only come from a mind that has average or below average intelligence, yet has been taught that they're so oh so brilliant and smart. Useful idiots, the lot of them. They can't understand characterization and plot because their brains have been filled to the brim with ideological horseshit.
Same story here. I was 12 when ANH hit the theaters. My dad took me on Saturdays and I made him take me to see it again and again, every week, for 3 months. Now, I am rewatching the OT over and over so that as senility approaches, hopefully the ONLY Star Wars memories I'll retain will be only of the OT. :)
Haldo ( speaking about Poe)" Get THIS MAN off my bridge." THIS MAN being the guy that Leia hand selected to solo ( no pun intended) the incredibly vital mission to obtain the incredibly vital map fragment that would lead to Luke Skywalker's location, who also was selected by Leia to lead the incredibly vital mission to destroy Star Killer base, both missions which he succeeded in, thus , in any sane world, earning himself commendations and perhaps a promotion, who was ALSO THEN SELECTED BY LEIA to SINGLE HANDEDLY perform a diversionary tactic ( which should have realistically been a suicide mission) to give the few remaining Resistance members a chance to escape, which he was ALSO SUCCESSFUL IN. What does he get instead ? Derision from Leia and Haldo. Well written. Very well indeed.
@freakyautumn Thanks for the confirmation, because someone who aspired to join the AirForce and was in jrotc for a year, the way the "rebels" behaved annoyed me. Correct if I'm wrong on this, but a demoted officer who's still active is privileged to receiving strategic orders under the assumption said orders would be followed. Not only that, but Holdo relays orders to no one aside from that single order to maintain their course...
Well, the film is kinda realistic then, since all the resistance end up dead anyways because of their sheer incompetence (this not excuse the bad writing tho).
I'd wager the same way Moana learned to equalize and freedive to a depth of over 60ft growing up on an island where she was barely allowed in the waist-deep lagoon.
If these horrible movies have any useful purpose beyond simply being joke fodder for hilarious videos like this, they serve as a comprehensive guide how NOT to write good and relatable characters.
OF course Rey knows her parents, shes like 6 when she gets abandoned. My memory may not be perfect back then but id remember someone like, oh i dont know, the people i spent my entire life with so far.
I think this is very different from person to person. My earliest clear memory was at the age of 2. I know that because it is from the side building of the house I grew up in, and we moved out of it when I was three. But I have flashes of memories even earlier than that. People always tell me that's impossible for some reason. But I was there and so was my brain. Why would it be impossible? An honest politician? Now that's impossible! And lots of people believe in those, so...
MegaMan11 eh... she could be anything from three/four to eight. And you can forget about everything important about people if you knew them for two to three years (6-4 or 6-3), and spend the last... what, sixteen/eighteen to twenty years without them. Honestly, as much as I hate these movies, it isn’t particularly far fetched that she would’ve no idea of... about anything about her parents. Especially things such as their skills, eventual titles, functions, etc. And it’s completely stupid that she would care that they were or weren’t nobodies.
Fishslap 33 because Rian is a hack. I didn’t say the resolution made sense (hell, her parents being nobodies shouldn’t even matter for someone who waited years in a hellhole awaiting them >
The whole "light rises to meet the dark because balance" is bullshit and doesn't actually hold up in Star Wars canon. The Jedi did beat the Sith and force them underground for 1,000 years before Palpatine brought their plans to fruition, so it's not true that there's a forced balance like the new trilogy pretends. There are supposed to be actual consequences for the actions and choices of the characters in the universe, but Disney forced this "balance" bullshit as a way to handwave bad writing.
In truth both sides were bad and didn’t really want balance which was part of Lucas’s focus. It’s handled in the EU, but that’s why people like Qui’gon being “grey” was sort of to show the schism happening in the Jedi itself.
@@cullenseago1519 no. Lucas said the Jedi serving the Force was a good thing. The reason why the Jedi from the Old Republic died off was that they were too focused on the physical aspect. Also, Lucas doesn't count EU.
Isn’t the correct interpretation of “balance” the fact that within each Jedi there is darkness, and within each Sith there is light? Therefore the real question is which wolf you decide to feed. I always thought being a Jedi was accepting your dark side existed, but not succumbing to it. Luke was always capable of joining the dark side, Vader was always capable of joining the light, either one could have made the decision to join either side at multiple points. But the actual fact is that “darkness” in Luke was always there, and the “light” in Vader was always there. I think this belief in the balance between light and good being a literally count between “how many sith to Jedi are there?” Or “are their power levels equal?” To be a big misinterpretation.
Ain't gonna happen any time soon with the Disney lame reboots. They have no clue what they are doing, nor where they are going. This is such a senseless mess... Just watch the Original Trilogy again, or even Angels and Demons, or even Edge of Tomorrow, the list goes on and on. Anything is just better than their take on Star Wars. I'm betting that marketing will tease us for months and months about Ep IX (Palpatine's laugh, you know... such a big deal). Luke is dead? Just give 'em more Skywalker, and an over-powerful Luke ghost that can bring down three star destroyers with a flick of his hand. (Executives notes at Disney : Just wrap it up man, we screwed it so bad. Just wrap it up, play it safe, so that we can shovel some more nonsensical Star Wars later down their throats.) Dear Elizabeth, don't waste your time.
@Gunsandrosalina Padtwo Yeah I'm sure she fucked everything up because of her tragic birth defect of having no penis, and not because she's a moronic ideologue with a stupid agenda and no competence to even get it across properly. This dumb bitch probably got into that position by leveraging her gender and ideology. Blaming her incompetence on her gender only plays into her agenda. It gives fuel to her narrative of sexist men enforcing a patriarchal society and trying to push women out regardless of merit.
Let's just say anything bad about girls, Ok? It's just a problem of modern hollywood execs, poor planning and a total lack of sight (and sense, and taste, oh well...)
Timestamps - Part 1 Title crawl - 0:00 TV gag - 2:12 Kylo voice intro (why he's reviewing/abstract) - 4:18 Plinkhack intro (bad movie because/reception) - 7:46 1. Check your expectations - 11:58 2. The plot is so utterly contrived I can't bring myself to call this dumpster fire a movie - 25:50 3. Everyone is stupid idiots when it comes to military stuff/common sense - 35:34 4. Unsatisfactory answers and even more questions - 43:19 5. Script writing 101 - 48:54 6. Rian Johnson is a terrible comedian - 59:12 7. Rian Johnson doesn't understand physics - 1:04:29 8. Rey is still a Mary Sue - 1:12:21 - Personality: 1:13:12, Skills: 1:14:51, Appearance: 1:15:46, Accessories: 1:16:25, Relationships: 1:16:58, Story elements: 1:17:53, Author investment: 1:19:29 - Mary Sueness and further character: 1:19:46 Intermission - 1:29:40
37:05 - "They're faster and lighter than we are." Actual response: "We have larger engines than they do, so it's impossible for them to be faster. Additionally, there's no resistance in space so they can't be _lighter_ either."
We even got introduced to lightspeed skipping in rise of palpatine, so in the new canon it must be possible to make tiny hyperspace jumps 😑 It's kind of funny how the sequel trilogy is not only contradictory the the original stuff but also contradictory to itself...
@@bastis3439 Yup. It throws the idea of "fuel" being a problem right out the window. Also, I think JJ stole the "light speed skipping" idea from "Guardians of the Galaxy" because he thought it looked cool.
When red letter media said that they may skip the next star wars, I mourned because I thought there would be no one to rip it apart. BUT after watching your hack fraud review, I trust you to do it lol
@@RicardoAGuitar Did you see their prediction video for the Rise of Skywalker? It is depressingly probable and will probably involve time travel. Ugh. Go all in. "Fuck it" as J.J. Abrams has said in regard to making Episode 9. Burn it all to the ground.
Honestly, Rey embodies the “Mary Sue” trope to such a crazy extreme, more so than any other character I can think of from a big budget blockbuster film that’s been released and recognized worldwide, that I believe the trope should be renamed after her
I'm ashamed to admit it, but unitl I watched this video, I thought the negative reception of Last Jedi was greatly exaggerated. Now I know the truth. Hackfreudmedia is the true Plinkettborne.
Opening for Ep. 9: Luke wakes up cleanly shaven and in a brightly lit rebel quarters with the sound of water running. He is confused and cautious as he sneaks down a grey padded hallway that looks eerily akin to corridors of Bespin. He realizes the water he is hearing is a shower. He slowly reaches for the door and just as he is about to open the hatch, Patrick Duffy pops his head around the corner and asks Luke to hand him a towel.
What if Capitol Records released a brand new Beatles album, 12 new songs written, produced and recorded by Jimmy Buffet and DMX, with Paul Mccartney and Ringo Starr just appearing on the cover picture?
26:30 _"If the conflict in your story relies on the ineptitude of your characters . . . that's called SH*TTY WRITING!"_ This. Characters in this movie make stupid choices in order to keep the movie going. For example, in the first five minutes, 1) Hux attacks an empty rebel base, instead of destroying the Raddus because if he destroyed the Raddus, the movie would be over. 2) Hux sends 3 TIE fighters against the Raddus, instead of several hundred because if he sent several hundred, the movie would be over. 3) Hux doesn't send a few Star Destroyers through hyperspace ahead of the Raddus to cut them off because if he does that, the movie would be over. That long, slow, boring space chase, which takes up about a third of the movie depends on the First Order not knowing that they can do this whenever they want.
Wait. Right at the beginning, Hux orders "obliterate their fleet". Unfortunately, the complete crew comes from a planet where "obliterate" means "cause no harm". See? Everyone is a trained professional, they came out of hyperspace with weapons hot...and then a simple misunderstanding. Or just shoddy script writing. Yes, sounds more plausible. Fanboys will, of course, now start circulating the "unfortunate language barrier" retcon and my name will be blemished forever.
I think real Plinkett just succumbed to the reality of it all and it broke something inside of him so now he places the bar so low that nothing really shocks him anymore. Thus, a new Plinkett was born.
here, here is a what if... what if the throwing the lightsaber scene was changed... to something else... She hands him the saber she found. He holds it in his hands, his eyes closed. Then a moment of a grimace across his face, his eyes, piercingly bright are open suddenly. And then he speaks. "This Saber, was a part of myself, I lost long ago, and only when I lost it did I begin to gain true wisdom." and then he holds it out to her almost but then he shakes his head and throws himself into another comment before she can take it though she doesn't move towards it unsure. "This is the saber that created the pain of the Jedi knights and the fall of the old republic, it is a saber that nearly cut down the Jedi master who trained me, and it nearly lost my fathers life, it did cost my mothers life, and left me adrift in a cosmic void, it cost Alderaan its life, its people that survived now refugees in space seeking hospitality wherever a free heart and helping hands are. This saber... cost the galaxy its morality and its peace for too long. It is a blade that betrays its owners to their own passions, that destiny has spoken on. Those that wield it will seek to use violence and the warrior's path, when they should seek wisdom and the enlightened path. Only when you discard your desire to fight, will you learn to bring peace, only when you know how to handle this blade and how to set it down will you find your folly and let it go. If you can find this blade again... I will have no choice but to train you." and then he throws the blade far behind him, deep into the ocean. and she has to go: what? what do you mean? Her again: why are you not training me?! Luke Skywalker: Iam teaching you, if you are to train, it must be you that trains you. Only you can choose to learn the lesson that I am teaching.. and he walks to the mountainside and stares at the ocean. her: what am I supposed to do? Luke Skywalker: you can go find the blade if you must, or you can train with the monks on this mountain to listen to the force. Or you can have soup with me tonight, it is a fine fish, and vegetable broth stew. I know quite a few ways to make the food here. Would you be intereested in learning the recipes? Rei Skywalker: Why?! Why won't you train me? Luke Skywalker: why, how did you find the blade? how did you find me? Rei Skywalker: it was given to me... both times... Luke Skywalker: now you must earn it, by listening. Go, find the blade if you want to be trained to be a warrior, and remember what I have told you about knowing when to set the blade down before it destroys you, and those you would try to defend. Rei goes off and searching for the blade disbelieving, considering going elsewhere or just talking with the monks, she watches the monks for a while in deep meditation has reservations about studying with them, and then goes and sits next to them and asks them if that is luke skywalker. Monk: Skywalker? He is simply a student at our monastery. Rei Skywalker: then where is luke skywalker? Monk: Luke Skywalker? You mean the great legendary son of Anakin Skywalker, formerly Darth Vader? Rei Skywalker: !? what?! Darth Vader is Anakin skywalker?! (for some reason lets say she doesn't know or lets just say that she doesn't even know she is a skywalker, but if she does this line can be skipped and it can be modified to be about the arrogance of knowing she is a grandchild of the legendary Anakin skywalker and a relative of Luke and Leia skywalker) Monk: in the end, there are students, those willing to learn, and there are those who are not students, who are unwilling to learn. names mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.... who are you? Rei grumbles for a while and after listening to other quiet whisperings of monks as they listen to the force and talk amongst themselves and talk with the nature, the life force around them, she goes and searches the water for the saber hilt
@@handsomebrick Thank you, i do try to write worthwhile ideas most of the time, sometimes it is just insane ranting and i have to double check it sometimes :)
I do like the idea of a traumatized Luke withdrawing from the vulgar, mundane world to seek enlightenment. And Rey's arrival prompts him to reevaluate this, ultimately deciding to continue affecting change in his surroundings. Would make more sense than what we got, at least.
@@Alex-0597 Rey got Han Murdered.... from a certain point of view :( All that said... i have a whole lot more that would make the whole trillogy make incredible sense, all the right bits and pieces are there, it just needs the big reveal in a fourth film and a big surprise ending in a fifth film, and a final film could throw in a surprise story
You know what that’s a good point. In TFA Snoke mentions some training Kylo needed to complete. Yet in the TLJ, the story picks up immediately and ignores that point.
This movie is literally an insult to Mark Hamill and his dedication to his most famous role and its message. At least in Wing Commander they had the decency to have his character die doing something important.
@@BeefMissileband Not even close. AOTC was really, really, REALLY fucking bad, no question... But literally every scene in TLJ has some kind of a fundamental flaw in it. Even AOTC had SOME things that worked well, TLJ only has the visual effects.
@@dumonga9594 There were more *plotholes* than actual *plot.* The entire thing needed to be scrapped and redrafted about 4-5 times. A "solid" 2.3/10 is the ONLY reasonable rating to give it. Unless we treat it like a tone deaf comedy, then it's easily a 6/10.
Part 1 and 2 are brilliantly done. In fact, they are 10,000 times better than The Last Jedi. My heart goes out to, Mark Hamil, this movie devastated and destroyed everything he believed in.
It’s funny that in the last Jedi the person with the most sense is a straight white male. Edit: do you think we can get people to boycott The Rise of Skywalker?
Ruin Johnson must have thought he was such a clever rebel... being to Star Wars what Galen Erso was to the Death Star... planting a self destruct mechanism inside, tongue in cheek.
Olay, the leia flight scene and the [censored] scene had me dying of laughter. I also got my first kiss pretending to be Luke Skywalker and the girl princess Leia :^)
please don't ever stop making content, because if you're not plinkett, i bet he's impressed. love redletter but you crafted a sharp narrative here. edit: 19:08 makes my case.
Well, "Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley" stands taller than the "Star Wars" Heroin(es) and has more screen presence when she's holding "Jones' in a Hypersleep chamber. It is unfortunate that Ridley Scott has been infected with "Weland-Yutani fever" and prefers the life and times of an androgenous Artificial bent on the destruction of Homo sapiens. "Star Wars"? I used to watch movies with that name until The Engineers got ahold of it and did a FUBAR job.
Every old movie is being dragged through the mud in the same way. The details may wary, but it's the same mindless crap across the board. What people like Kennedy are too dumb to understand is that Ripley was so great because all the characters in Alien were written gender neutrally. Ripley was never written as a woman. Dallas could have been played by a woman. It would have made zero difference because it wasn't a movie about penises and vaginas, just like Star Wars isn't. Ripley was written as a competent character and then cast with a superb actor in the role. The gender was irrelevant. If Weaver had been hired just because she has a vagina, like Daisy Williams was, then Ripley would have been just as shit as Rey is. And until Hollywood writers understand this their movies will remain shit. Alien was endlessly more "progressive", if that's somehow the goal of entertainment these days, than TLJ, and it is not close. And that movie was made in 1979! By men!
@Maximillian Wylde I'm telling you she wasn't. Ripley became a woman during casting. Obviously she was written as a woman in Aliens, because they already knew who they'd cast for the part. But other than about two lines of "romance" with Hicks she has no lines that tell you she's a woman there either. There was no sex until Alien3. In Alien you don't even have two lines of romance, because when they wrote it they didn't know the gender of any of the characters. Why do you speak when you don't know what you're talking about?
Xesisgood I’m fairly certain this isn’t made by Mike Stoklasa™. It’s very well done though. Pretty talented dude doing these, albeit derivative. I dig it though. It’s like watching The Orville.
Real talk. This is like the The Orville of Plinkett reviews. It’s well executed, thoughtfully put together fan fiction that managed to outperform it’s genuine counterpart at its best moments. If it wasn’t so nicely done, it would be super cringe. Instead it honors the O.G. with worthiness. This is like the level of care that Mike put into the Star Trek TNG movie plinkett reviews, and it shows. As an artist myself, I was curious at first about how I’d feel after seeing something like this that was based on my stuff. This would be a healthy dose of both flattery *and* motivation to push myself harder at my craft. I hope that’s how Mike feels from these.
29:59 I would say that Rose is the Slippy of the Star Wars universe, but even that would be charitable as Slippy was at least useful enough to show you how much health the boss had.
Also, Slippy won't ram her ship into yours right as you're about to go in for the [admittedly suicidal] killing blow to the enemy and cause untold casualties while yammering on about love or whatever.
Listening to the actress talk about Phasma made me cringe. She looked a total fool and sounded like a first-year graduate who landed a part as an extra in a brief sidewalk cafe scene in a B-movie. She talks about Phasma as though she's some all-important character, but in reality Phasma has had AT MOST, 5-10 minutes of screen time between BOTH FILMS. Her character is less relevant than Lando's android assistant on Cloud City. Just comes off as drunk on the concept of "the first female Stormtrooper," and has to pretty much pull everything else out of her ass in order to prop the character up, because on screen, "first female Stormtrooper" is all that defines her. Even then, if we had not been TOLD this outside of the film, we never would've known because Phasma always has her helmet on. A very similar trend from Series 11 of Doctor Who -- all three companions were defined by nothing else other than the sociopolitical boxes they ticked.
Whenever I see those clips of the interviews with Gwendolyn Christy, I feel like she’s trying to cover up for the fact that her character is bogus, and she knows it. She tries to make her seem like a bigger deal than she really is, because she knows deep down in her heart, that Captain Phasma is a throwaway character.
When the Ewok nearly strangled himself with his weapon in ROTJ; that was pure slapstick. That scene still annoys me. Long live Plinkett and his spastic colon!!!!
This video absolutely deserves more views. Your editing is hysterical! I guffawed at the 'don't ask questions' part with the Wizard of Oz superimposed.
54:36 - This was probably the most important information of the whole movie, and the exposition of it barely made it into the movie. By the way, why is Han's dog looking so sad in the background? Just throw him that stick that you're carrying around, or maybe a porg!
Развлечения
I MADE A MISTAKE AT 21:10
Elizabeth Swann isn't in Harry Potter, obviously. She is in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003).
Thanks for catching that, guys. Uuuuuuh I mean...
IN MY OPINION YOU'RE WRONG.
I think in my opinion, based on my personal, utmost exclusive subjective feelings, you are a fraud.
Good video though. Keep hack frauding, Media!
Ray is an NPC...
One thing I wonder if may be addressed or not about Rey's identity - "Rey" isn't even her real name. She grew up enamoured with the Rebellion, and even kept an X-wing pilot's helmet... we see her in TFA wearing it, while she eats in front of her AT-AT home - and on the side of the helmet, written in Aurebesh, we see the pilot's name; "Rey". She identified with that name from childhood, clearly, as she identified with the Rebellion. So then, what the Hell is her real name, then? Watch - I bet it will never be addressed :P lol
By the way, of all TLJ review vids, I love your two-parter here the most! Non-toxic, no bullshit, plain logical facts and well made, deeply important points, all - excellent work! You've got a new subscriber :)
You made one mistake!!!!!
ALL YOUR ARGUMENTS ARE HEREBY INVALID !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUMB INTERNET PEOPLE LOGIC DEMANDS IT !!!!
You should've kept that in for comedy.
Star Wars...Where the reviews are light years better than the movies...
Where you put more hours into rewatching each review for entertainment than you’ll ever Spend rewatching TLJ
ruclips.net/video/f83D18xL7VE/видео.html
That is so funny
I don't even watch the movies any more. I just watch the hate they instill in people.
It's carthartic.
I would agree this is my 5th favorite Star Wars movie.
Honestly, if the goal was to bash men by emasculating Poe through Admiral Holdo, then they failed miserably as I sat there the whole time thinking she was a mole for the bad guys. Her actions and decisions were that destructive.
Typical toxic female!
I also thought it was very "demasculating" as I term it, with women there at every turn to subjugate men, seemingly, then Admiral Holdo's final sacrifice at light speed seemed so glorifying of dominatrixes. It seemed a deliberate effort to knock male characters down a couple of notches in favor of female favoritism.
@Werewolf O. London, Esq. Nope. It just made us despise her as a person and character. Writers and directors these days have forgotten that even villains have to be likeable and relatable in some way if the audience is to care, and Admirable Holdo was anything but.
Christopher Wood they’re too far gone for that
It almost seems like she killed herself out of sheer self-loathing for screwing over the resistance so much.
Young Anakin: "Now this is Pod Racing. "Rian Johnson: Now this is Plot Raping.
Lolol oh God that's perfect 😂 thanks for the laugh
“It’s like pottery, it breaks if you yeet it off the roof.” -Bilbo Swaggins
Ik I’m 4 years late but this fucking genius 😂
You know shit just got real when the reviewer busts out the army field manual on leadership, I'm serious that stuff is gold
He definitely has massive credibility, which is something that Disney Star Wars never had!
Holdo's "leadership" was one of my biggest pet peeves from my admittedly brief Navy time. "Respect goes *down* the chain of command as well as up it" being just one thing I was taught about command.
@@SamnissArandeen as a Navy vet in special operations - Ive had some pretty toxic leaders but holy fuck no one ever held a candle to Holdo lol
Openly confesses to sexual discrimination and still has her job. Privilege level: EXPERT
I would take a 50% salary cut to work at a company of only men.
@@spybreak23 How about a company where no one gets preferential treatment based on what they were born as?
@@handsomebrick I want the old workplace environment back, free of HR, sexual harassment training and a culture of frigid, PC civility. I can't see a way to get that other than the one I described.
@D L L
With no Jedi mind powers at all, I can deduce that you are a pathetic old fart that got busted for being lecherous.
Either that or you are into guys and are fantasising about being able to give up half your salary for lots of men being around 😂
@D L L
Or just someone that can get along with and get it on with women 😂
You know you have a problem on your hands when Mark Hamill himself is telling you Luke is out of character in The Last Jedi
They made Luke a pedophile and that wasn’t a lightsaber he was holding over Kyle Ren’s head
edt089 if you watch it again and think of Luke as a pedophile priest and Luke was caught in a students room at night, holding his “lightsaber” and then was sent to a place far away from children and put one a sex offenders list and not allowed to leave. It would explain everything perfectly.
Marks reaction when he said it was a mistake to ignore the fans and the audience cheered.
Well he's a white male so his opinion doesn't matter
Maybe thats why Luke got such a bullshit death
Damn! I didn’t know that I was a “manbaby.” For over 70 years I thought I was a woman. Maybe it was all that great kool-aid I drank in the 60s.🤷♀️
I had no idea either, thank god for Kathleen Kennedy, otherwise I'd never had known!
I feel like I need to apologize to Mrs Kennedy for being born male and grew up loving Star Wars thanks to my Aunt and Father, who I guess would be man baby’s as well. Well said! I had many female friends who liked Star Wars as well.
@@tjpowers88 your comment gave me one of those happy-sad memories. My aunt Lisa was kind of a big influence on me and my outlook on life. While she didn't introduce me to Star Wars, when i got into Dungeons and Dragons in the late 80s she bought me a bunch of the rule books [in the bible belt] and introduced me to her favorite show Red Dwarf. I got to direct her to Farscape when it came out. I wish she had lived to see Firefly. Nerd aunts are the best!
You know a film is a stinking mess when the people who generally agree that the problems Kennedy is talking about are real not only hate the movie, but feel that it completely failed to address them in any meaningful way. Admiral Purple was a bad leader, they made Leia out to be an ineffectual leader, ignored the potential in Phasma's character, shat on Finn and Poe for no reason, and generally just made fan fiction written by a 3rd grader into a multi-million dollar film. Not to mention the blatant character assassination of Luke and Han.
@@hainekohanefuwa5308 yeah, they didn't have any characters i would want my daughter looking up to in the movie. Not sure how any of it can even be SJW/ Virtue Signalling if its just crap? Seems counter to any movement to uplift someone... but I'm starting to move into an area better suited for Dinesh D Souza to explain
Elsewhere in that leadership manual it lists "Be a good listener" and "Treat soldiers with dignity and respect. Leaders must show genuine concern and compassion for the soldiers they lead. It is essential that leaders remain sensitive to family members and include them in unit activities to the extent possible. Remember, respect is a two-way street; a leader will be accorded the same level of respect that he or she shows for others." Uhhh Rian, it's no wonder you can't write strong leaders. It takes one to know one. Or, in this case, write one....
Listening to Kennedy is worse then fingernails on a chalkboard.
T D ikr
Stupid SJW pandering is soooooooo tiring
Gwendoline Christie is worse for me. I get the feeling that Kennedy actually believes what she's saying (or at the very least is so desperate for approval from the progressives that she is willing to believe anything they want her to) but there's no way Christie actually believes that Phasma is relatable or has character depth. She's only spouting that hollow BS because she doesn't want to piss off the people writing her checks.
@@curtishammer748 she doesn't have to do that now though... Wait did phasma somehow survive falling to her firey depth death? Wait maybe this is the depth they talking about?
@@TheFixer_1 Not for her Disney checks, but it probably wouldn't be a good career move to publicly trash talk her former employer. The difference between her and Mark Hamill is that Mark doesn't need to give a fuck what Disney thinks of him because he's Mark Hamill. Besides, all those clips of her come from the TFA promo era. I understand why she's saying that stuff, but it doesn't make it any less cringeworthy.
Wow mark hamills disappointment in that conference get me everytime
DariusMakesContent at least there was a voice there for the fans.
you can see a piece of mark's soul die when the audience claps to ruin roundhead not caring about the fans, it still makes me sad when I see it.
I couldn't watch TLJ because I couldn't watch either Mark or Luke's soul die under ridiculous circumstances. I agree with nothing that Mark Hamill believes, except that Star Wars and the characters we so loved were uselessly destroyed because of a total lack of imagination and the need to use them to make their own parochial points.
I felt so bad for Mark in that clip 😢
@You tuber hahahaha the last jedi sopihsticated, you're funny, wait you were serious?
let me laugh harder then HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
@You tuber Rian's not gonna fuck you, bro.
Btw "Me depress go live on rock :(" is not psychological depth.
@You tuber Some people have gone so far to the dark side, there is no good in them to save. "Professional" film critics Bwhahahaha. And they wrote the books saying they're good at what they do???? You don't actually think about what you're saying, do you?
"Get your head out of your cockpit" Star Wars - The Last Jedi, 2017
"You know why they call it a cockpit, righ..." Captain Marvel, 2019
Just so original and hilarious!
I didn't see Captain marvel, did they really bring up the subject of cock fighting in it? Was it a point about animal rights or something?
When a man flies an airplane he sits in the cockpit. When a woman flies an airplane she sits in the box office.
It's not original, it's not hilarious, it's perverted and it's something foreign to Star Wars thus far . . . But it's all Disney knows, filth and Faery dust . . . Well, I think that's what that white powder was.
@@bobski8203 The sad thing is, normies who remain ignorant of the propaganda would call such jokes from Disney as "proof that it can be edgy and mature".
@@Dragblacker There is nothing mature about it, and the term edgy should lose its appeal once people consider the consequence of falling off that edge, or if you are referring to a cutting edge, the fact of what it is meant to cut off....
24:44 Mark Hamill: _"A lot of times I would say to Rian, 'You've got to think about the fans.' And he said, 'No. We've got to think about the story and we've got to think about OUR movie' " * idiots start clapping *_
Me: "THAT WAS CRITICISM, YOU MORONS!"
That face palm of pure disappointment from Mark says everything
@@Lakrimoz usually in those studios the audience clap to whatever the guests say.
Guest "I hope you all choke to death with your own crap"
Audience: claps enthusiastically
Their either bought off morons or moronic fanboys with no critical thinking that will eat up anything that has the Star Wars brand slapped onto it. You decide which is worse.
@@itsthisguyagain1002 In Mauler's review of "The Last Jedi" there's several interview clips with Mark Hamill and some Disney bots. Mark is depressed and miserable and he clearly doesn't want to be there. And whenever Mark says something sincere-yet-slightly-critical about the movie, the bot lets out this really annoying Rob Schneider laugh, as if to say, "Oh, that Mark. What a wacky comment!" But Mark was NOT trying to be funny. He was trying to voice a serious concern about the movie. It's amazing Mark made it though the interview without throttling the guy. (And it shows how carefully managed these interviews are by Disney.)
@@KneelB4Bacon I've seen Mark gradually disasociate himself with Luke.
Before sequels Mark regularly referred to Luke as himself (aka Mark saying "In RoTJ I saved Darth Vader and saved the galaxy" or "In first star wars I destroyed death star") you could see how much Luke was part of Mark and vice versa. But gradually he started to distance himself to the point that he said that he is "just paid to act a certain character in a movie" (I'm paraphasing from memory).
Rian Johnson didn't just twist and shit on Luke Skywalker he killed a piece of Mark Hamill doing so.
That moment when billionaires preach about income inequality in a movie that made more than a Billion
Yeah, when they got to that scene, I was thinking, "Wow, a lesson about unrestrained greed from Disney."
Woke capital is just another brand. Smash the state. Eat the rich.
ruclips.net/video/f83D18xL7VE/видео.html
They want us to think that they merely made money supplying the First Order. Capitalism is more complicated: They loan the money to the First Order, so the First Order can buy weapons from them. The Resistance has a credit score below 600, so they have to pay cash, and don't get a discount.
@Alex Swigoda are you srsly that stupid to believe that they give a single fuck about you and your meaningless life?
Spaceballs is more Cannon like than the last Jedi.
*canon*
@christian miller the funny thing is Spaceballs was meant to be a comedy, the DT is only funny on accident
@christian miller I meant comedy, will correct now
I really think Spaceballs and Last Jedi are the same movie.
I HATE YOGURT
Now that she’s palpatines granddaughter she officially fits every single Mary Sue trope
@Werewolf O. London, Esq. PERFECT!
@Werewolf O. London, Esq. yeah, he has room to grow whereas she's a blank slate goddess type character. Problem is he's resolved his past by killing phasma, and he's mostly just comic relief, no real emotional development of his trauma from being a former stormtrooper
Werewolf O. London, Esq. yeah it’s super weird, the issue is it was freaking rian that decided to do it. Poe destroys starkiller base, it’s far more of a victory at least in terms of damage to the first order than Rey, and then he got smacked down so that holdo could be propped up as a paragon despite being utterly incompetent
Now we know she didn't bc she didn't die 😭😭😭😭😭
bUt It ExPlAiNs HeR bLoOdLiNe
Mara Jade. Aurra Sing. Tahiri Veilla. Aayla Secura. Jaina Solo. Bastilla Shan. Kreia. Lumiya. Vergere. Daala. Darth Zannah. The Dark Woman. Shaak Ti. The Jedi Exile. Nomi Sunrider. Winter. Yaddle. Guri. Bria Tharen. Vestara Khai. Tenet Ka. Mirax Terrik. Laranth Tarak. Asajj Ventress. Darsha Assant. Tahl. Siri Tachi. Kerra Holt. Satele Shan. Barriss Offee. Luminara Unduli. Mon Mothma. Adi Gallia. Komari Vosa. Darth Talon. Marasiah Fel. Nyna Calixte. Delilah Blue. Jarael. Arden Lyn.
Yeah, the old Star Wars hated strong female characters.
The exile's name is Meetra Surik in cano...
Oh.
Leia shot guns, rescued 2 guys and a carpet, strangled a slug, commanded an army ...
Fucking piss poor effort
Dude how can you forget ahsoka??
Forgot Ahsoka Tano.
Mine Gotte...Mara Jade alone would completely "pwn" the "New Feminist Star Wars"...that is all! >:-(
"Let the past die. Kill it if you have to."
Say, how old is disney again?
ouch
I think that line was referring to the Star Wars franchise.
Disney died with walt
And have illegally preserved everything that is by law now public domain, all of which they also "absorbed" of others.
Let the Mouse die. Kill it if you have to.
you can literally see the moment mark hamills heart breaks....
@55:25 "Hope is like the sun" -General Gender Studies
Why would somebody who travels through space and has been on many many planets in different solar systems say "The Sun" and not a sun, or a star? Something like Hope is like light from a star. There is no The Sun when you travel around the galaxy all the time.
Bretton Ferguson maybe because when they want to refer to how a sun appear at the surface of a planet they say « the » sun ?
Because it’s not any sun, but they don’t want to refer to the name of the Star itself either ?
I mean regardless of that it's a hollow little speech with empty platitudes, and it bared nothing about the conversation at hand
Raven Whiteduck God I remember rolling my eyes so hard at that in the theater.
I agree. I think it's fine when a sargent or lieutenant says that because it's very likely that they haven't been given all the details of the "plan" either. So what they're doing there is telling you to have faith in the judgement of your superiors, reassuring you that people further up the chain of command actually HAVE a plan. But when you're at the TOP of the chain of command and you're saying sh*t like, "Hope is like the Sun" that doesn't work anymore. That's the kind of thing you say when you DON'T have a plan.
@@KneelB4Bacon Honestly, it sounds more like a line for us, the audience, to listen to. Not a line for the universe of Star Wars.
Why would Snope humiliate his second in command in front of all his officers thereby destroying the effectiveness of the entire command structure. It’s almost as if the writers have no understanding of what a competence hierarchy is....oh wait.
I'm not trying to defend tlj but didn't Vader do pretty much the same except that he literally killed them what would probably fuck things up even more?
Dennis Lief no. It has everything to do with projecting competency. Vader, gives warning and then follows through with execution. Coldly and cruelly. He is ruling through fear, but ultimately it is about the consequences of incompetence and providing an example; “see what happens to fools who don’t follow through with what they say? Now give me someone competent, and don’t fail me again.” The message is clear. The hierarchy is maintained. Competency is paramount. Motivation is established.
Snoke on the other hand humiliates his second in command in front of all his subordinates and then let’s him continue in his duties.
This makes Snoke look like an even bigger fool for letting him be in charge in the first place by making the buffoonery more exaggerated. He then lets him resume control. Now SNOKE looks twice as stupid as his officer.
Last but most importantly is that it undermines the command structure. How can anyone honestly follow someone again after being so humiliated? That would make YOU incompetent. Hierarchy is destroyed. Competency is meaningless to the structure of command. It’s leadership 101.
Rian Johnson has said he "thought it would be funny" to make Hux a comedic character in this film. And that's a big problem with his writing. He does things on a whim, with no regards to character consistency or canon.
thats LOL
@@IlmarBeekman unless he's playing a sucker for a sucker, hard to say. wtf? script still changing.
“If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame. But, if orders are clear and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers.”
― Sun Tzu
Made me think of that quote when you were talking about Leia not taking responsibility for the battle plan.
Wasn’t Sun Tzu having concubines do a demonstration of his ability to show his ability has a general?In the end if I remember correctly it ended with 2 of them being beheaded.
Sun Tzu just didn't want to have the king behead him for conflating hookers with soldiers. WWII was full of stories of soldiers not following orders and winning objectives, or acting on their own, and winning ground. and others staunch in command doing the objective, then failing to gain any further cause no order was given.
I agree. Like when Leia orders Po to return to the fleet before he can finish his mission to destroy the dreadnought. Po even points out to her in the movie that, "these things are fleet killers" Did Leia not understand that if Po didn't take out the dreadnought that it would simply follow him back to the Rebel fleet and wipe them all out? Also, what were the bombers going to be used FOR if not to destroy the dreadnought?
@Andoc - "then blame YOU for ruining my awful plan and pulling off some nonsensical heroic moment!"
@@KneelB4Bacon clearly. The writing in this part makes no sense whatsoever, but this whole premise in particular is so bizarre it kills the whole movie. One other close instance is the millennium falcon leaving and returning at-will. Why not just use this ability to get everyone to safety?
Just when you thought the prequels were bad, the last Jedi sneaks up on you like John Wilks Booth and blows your brains out.
At least John Wilkes Booth was killed about a week later!
To soon, to soon!
😆😆😅🤣🤣
13:53 _"What kind of training did Kylo Ren need"_
Well, according to Rian, all Kylo Ren needed to do to "complete his training" was to kill an unarmed girl while his master held her down.
Actually makes sense as part of "dark side training" seems to be adjustment of morality. Getting him to kill a helpless prisoner he obviously now has emotional attachment to ( after failing to kill his mother in a similar situation) seems believable.
Dave Robson I don’t think that would make him any better at fighting or using the force.
@@PViolety
I don't recall claiming that it would.
Checking.......
Checking......
Nope. I didn't do that.
What I do think it means is that such an action would be a symbolic, if not actual, breaking of old moral constraints, that would make him a MORE EFFECTIVE Sith, in that he would be prepared to commit more "heinous" acts thus becoming less fettered by "light side" constraints like mercy and ideas of fair play and sympathy.
Luke Skywalker "Is the Dark Side more powerful?"
Yoda " No. Faster. Easier. More seductive."
Dave Robson I see then.
Well, Snoke was Palpatine's puppet. So I guess all Kylo Ren needed to do to "complete his training" was to kill his master, not Rey! Palpatine was inside Kylo's head and knew his real intent. And that was exactly what Palpatine wanted.
yup this movie is basically spaceballs without the self awareness
nope, spaceballs stays true to its characters, this piece of crap doesnt even get that right
maybe they can regain some of the lost fans in a couple of years when they start a new story, but EP 9 is DOA
Don't you dare and insult Mel Brooks' classic parody movie like that!!
funny but Spaceballs was great and the Spaceballs were semi threating and Lone Star and Barf weren't useless however tlj is Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money except bad
#And no balls
How dare you compare this trash to Spaceballs!!
I was in theaters in 1977 as a kid. I was immediately captivated by the most visually stunning and character driven story I had ever seen. I realize I was young, but the film had such heart. I began collecting the toys. I loved the way each character was so well written. By the time Empire arrived I was a bit older and realized just how deep and dark the story had become. To me, Empire was perfection. When I compare it to the Last Jedi, how weak and useless the story is, the horrible characters, dialog, etc. Guess I am a fossil, but darn, what was Disney, Rian Johnson, Kathleen thinking?
Wouldn't say you're a fossil.
And the cultural agenda is real.
That little voice in our heads telling us "this is wrong"?
It's telling the truth.
"WHITE MAN BAD.WAHMEN GOOD. NOW GIVE US ALL YOUR $$$" their exact thoughts, printed for eternity
Hackfraud said it early on: it's post-modernism. These over-educated morons bought into all the university BS about how anything old is bad and it all needs to come down in order for the "intellectuals" to build a post-scarcity socialist utopia where everyone and everything is taken care of. That's what they believe, anyway. So in their minds destroying things is fine because then it means they can fill the void with their own ideas. Of course, their ideas are absolutely terrible and can only come from a mind that has average or below average intelligence, yet has been taught that they're so oh so brilliant and smart.
Useful idiots, the lot of them. They can't understand characterization and plot because their brains have been filled to the brim with ideological horseshit.
Same story here. I was 12 when ANH hit the theaters. My dad took me on Saturdays and I made him take me to see it again and again, every week, for 3 months.
Now, I am rewatching the OT over and over so that as senility approaches, hopefully the ONLY Star Wars memories I'll retain will be only of the OT. :)
2 Billion DOllarz isnt thinking ;)
Haldo ( speaking about Poe)" Get THIS MAN off my bridge."
THIS MAN being the guy that Leia hand selected to solo ( no pun intended) the incredibly vital mission to obtain the incredibly vital map fragment that would lead to Luke Skywalker's location, who also was selected by Leia to lead the incredibly vital mission to destroy Star Killer base, both missions which he succeeded in, thus , in any sane world, earning himself commendations and perhaps a promotion, who was ALSO THEN SELECTED BY LEIA to SINGLE HANDEDLY perform a diversionary tactic ( which should have realistically been a suicide mission) to give the few remaining Resistance members a chance to escape, which he was ALSO SUCCESSFUL IN. What does he get instead ? Derision from Leia and Haldo.
Well written. Very well indeed.
He violated the Prime Directive by having a penis. He's lucky he wasn't executed as a traitor.
Holdo is the worst character ever created in Star Wars.
It's especially strange because apparently Holdo does like him?? So why was she being so derisive towards him in the first place?
@@violetlavi2207 Makes no sense.
From "As good as it gets"
Receptionist : How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall : I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
In the Army. Can confirm, if we operated like the forces in TLJ we would all be dead.
@freakyautumn
Thanks for the confirmation, because someone who aspired to join the AirForce and was in jrotc for a year, the way the "rebels" behaved annoyed me.
Correct if I'm wrong on this, but a demoted officer who's still active is privileged to receiving strategic orders under the assumption said orders would be followed. Not only that, but Holdo relays orders to no one aside from that single order to maintain their course...
Well, the film is kinda realistic then, since all the resistance end up dead anyways because of their sheer incompetence (this not excuse the bad writing tho).
You only left out one thing that I can think of ... HOW CAN REY SWIM LIKE A FISH GROWING UP ON A WATERLESS PLANET
chrono2959 easy, because Maryyyyy Sueeeeeeee!!!
Because she's an EMPOWERED WHAMAN!!
@@karekarenohay4432lol and we Know the only hero's are marry Sue her-o's
I'd wager the same way Moana learned to equalize and freedive to a depth of over 60ft growing up on an island where she was barely allowed in the waist-deep lagoon.
@@KelsonArwhi The Disney way
"Blood is thicker than water" is an incomplete quote.
"The blood of a covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
there are a lot of quotes whos comepleted vertions are the exact oposite of thier day to day use , for some reason
At this point the next movie should just be called, "Star Wars: No Refunds."
I can not believe how accurate the mary sue thing is holy crap
rey is such a crap character
If these horrible movies have any useful purpose beyond simply being joke fodder for hilarious videos like this, they serve as a comprehensive guide how NOT to write good and relatable characters.
check this out, the OC ruclips.net/video/f83D18xL7VE/видео.html
My favorite was the TRIPLE KILL in Unreal commentator voice XD
And to think I once defended her from those accusations. I feel deeply ashamed.
Luke was a Mary Sue...so...there’s that
A parody parodying a parody of a real reviewers review that's a real review.
"Oh good I can take a break now from making this review for all these stupid assholes on the internet"
There's a word for that. That's what's known as "pastiche"
A negative times a negative is a positive
IT BROKE NEW GROUND
Very cool!
Most anticipated line “No Rey, I am your mother!”
Lol !
OF course Rey knows her parents, shes like 6 when she gets abandoned. My memory may not be perfect back then but id remember someone like, oh i dont know, the people i spent my entire life with so far.
I think this is very different from person to person. My earliest clear memory was at the age of 2. I know that because it is from the side building of the house I grew up in, and we moved out of it when I was three. But I have flashes of memories even earlier than that. People always tell me that's impossible for some reason. But I was there and so was my brain. Why would it be impossible? An honest politician? Now that's impossible! And lots of people believe in those, so...
MegaMan11 eh... she could be anything from three/four to eight.
And you can forget about everything important about people if you knew them for two to three years (6-4 or 6-3), and spend the last... what, sixteen/eighteen to twenty years without them.
Honestly, as much as I hate these movies, it isn’t particularly far fetched that she would’ve no idea of... about anything about her parents. Especially things such as their skills, eventual titles, functions, etc.
And it’s completely stupid that she would care that they were or weren’t nobodies.
@@@nathanjora7627 Yes, but then why bring it up at all if it's just a red herring?
Fishslap 33 because Rian is a hack.
I didn’t say the resolution made sense (hell, her parents being nobodies shouldn’t even matter for someone who waited years in a hellhole awaiting them >
neat
The whole "light rises to meet the dark because balance" is bullshit and doesn't actually hold up in Star Wars canon. The Jedi did beat the Sith and force them underground for 1,000 years before Palpatine brought their plans to fruition, so it's not true that there's a forced balance like the new trilogy pretends. There are supposed to be actual consequences for the actions and choices of the characters in the universe, but Disney forced this "balance" bullshit as a way to handwave bad writing.
Yeh, but how long is a year in the Star Wars universe? Days and years vary for each planet. 1000 years could be 3 earth days, or 300 thousand years.
In truth both sides were bad and didn’t really want balance which was part of Lucas’s focus. It’s handled in the EU, but that’s why people like Qui’gon being “grey” was sort of to show the schism happening in the Jedi itself.
@@cullenseago1519 no. Lucas said the Jedi serving the Force was a good thing. The reason why the Jedi from the Old Republic died off was that they were too focused on the physical aspect. Also, Lucas doesn't count EU.
Isn’t the correct interpretation of “balance” the fact that within each Jedi there is darkness, and within each Sith there is light? Therefore the real question is which wolf you decide to feed. I always thought being a Jedi was accepting your dark side existed, but not succumbing to it.
Luke was always capable of joining the dark side, Vader was always capable of joining the light, either one could have made the decision to join either side at multiple points. But the actual fact is that “darkness” in Luke was always there, and the “light” in Vader was always there.
I think this belief in the balance between light and good being a literally count between “how many sith to Jedi are there?” Or “are their power levels equal?” To be a big misinterpretation.
@@SecretSickle89 you summed it up quite nicely.
I don't care if the film is made by men or women I want to see a film that I will enjoy.
Ain't gonna happen any time soon with the Disney lame reboots. They have no clue what they are doing, nor where they are going. This is such a senseless mess... Just watch the Original Trilogy again, or even Angels and Demons, or even Edge of Tomorrow, the list goes on and on. Anything is just better than their take on Star Wars. I'm betting that marketing will tease us for months and months about Ep IX (Palpatine's laugh, you know... such a big deal). Luke is dead? Just give 'em more Skywalker, and an over-powerful Luke ghost that can bring down three star destroyers with a flick of his hand. (Executives notes at Disney : Just wrap it up man, we screwed it so bad. Just wrap it up, play it safe, so that we can shovel some more nonsensical Star Wars later down their throats.) Dear Elizabeth, don't waste your time.
They don’t care about merit. To them merit is a myth. I wish I was joking.
To that end I submit full metal alchemist brotherhood as evidence of your point.
@Gunsandrosalina Padtwo
Yeah I'm sure she fucked everything up because of her tragic birth defect of having no penis, and not because she's a moronic ideologue with a stupid agenda and no competence to even get it across properly.
This dumb bitch probably got into that position by leveraging her gender and ideology. Blaming her incompetence on her gender only plays into her agenda. It gives fuel to her narrative of sexist men enforcing a patriarchal society and trying to push women out regardless of merit.
Let's just say anything bad about girls, Ok? It's just a problem of modern hollywood execs, poor planning and a total lack of sight (and sense, and taste, oh well...)
46:00"Eat 40000 pizza rolls, swallow them whole if you have to. It's the only way to become what you were meant to be"
I could never eat THAT many pizza rolls, at least not all at once!
@@NexusKin maybe it's a long term endeavour... it does proves the point though
"Star Wars" remains the best trilogy to ever exist. The Holiday special foreshadowed the inevitable future we suffer today, again.
Timestamps - Part 1
Title crawl - 0:00
TV gag - 2:12
Kylo voice intro (why he's reviewing/abstract) - 4:18
Plinkhack intro (bad movie because/reception) - 7:46
1. Check your expectations - 11:58
2. The plot is so utterly contrived I can't bring myself to call this dumpster fire a movie - 25:50
3. Everyone is stupid idiots when it comes to military stuff/common sense - 35:34
4. Unsatisfactory answers and even more questions - 43:19
5. Script writing 101 - 48:54
6. Rian Johnson is a terrible comedian - 59:12
7. Rian Johnson doesn't understand physics - 1:04:29
8. Rey is still a Mary Sue - 1:12:21
- Personality: 1:13:12, Skills: 1:14:51, Appearance: 1:15:46, Accessories: 1:16:25, Relationships: 1:16:58, Story elements: 1:17:53, Author investment: 1:19:29
- Mary Sueness and further character: 1:19:46
Intermission - 1:29:40
So the April fools joke was that it wasn't an April fools joke? meta
It subverted your expectations!!!
IT BROKE NEW GROU
37:05 - "They're faster and lighter than we are."
Actual response: "We have larger engines than they do, so it's impossible for them to be faster. Additionally, there's no resistance in space so they can't be _lighter_ either."
Also, they've got several Star Destroyers...just send a couple of them a parsec ahead at light speed and the Resistance's escape is blocked.
We even got introduced to lightspeed skipping in rise of palpatine, so in the new canon it must be possible to make tiny hyperspace jumps 😑
It's kind of funny how the sequel trilogy is not only contradictory the the original stuff but also contradictory to itself...
@@bastis3439 Yup. It throws the idea of "fuel" being a problem right out the window. Also, I think JJ stole the "light speed skipping" idea from "Guardians of the Galaxy" because he thought it looked cool.
They could have less momentum, that's gotta be worth something even in space.
@@handsomebrick
I think you mean "inertia".
Please do episode 9 soon!! 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Holy shit, its the wife-killer in the wild!! Hey man hope you get locked up 5ever
Haha spaceballs is such a better Star Wars movie than the last Jedi 😂
Everybody got that?!
I always drink coffee when I watch radar, everyone knows that!!
.. actually at this point SPACE BALLS is the actual sequel to the SW galaxy ... (for those whom dont read or play video games)
Found a good Star Wars sequel yet?
"We ain't found shit!"
"OF COURSE WE DO, SIR!" (Shields crotch and braces for impact) hahahahahaha
When red letter media said that they may skip the next star wars, I mourned because I thought there would be no one to rip it apart.
BUT after watching your hack fraud review, I trust you to do it lol
No way they skip the next SW. There's too much entertainment in watching this shit crash and burn
@@RicardoAGuitar Did you see their prediction video for the Rise of Skywalker? It is depressingly probable and will probably involve time travel. Ugh. Go all in. "Fuck it" as J.J. Abrams has said in regard to making Episode 9. Burn it all to the ground.
God sometimes I forgot I wasn’t listening to the real plinkett
Me too, I kinda hoped my expectations would be subverted at some point.
Am i the only guy who points out that in some scenes luke has a robot hand on the wrong hand and then they switch it back
xXKing_Of_ DublinXx wow, didn’t notice if it happens. Are these scenes shown in this video, and if Ed, could you provide time stamps ?
Maybe the uploader flipped the shots to avoid a RUclips copyright strike? Was anything else in the scene on the wrong side?
Oh, man, how can this be so funny, so accurate, so Plinketty? It's just great!
Someone seems very familiar :
ruclips.net/video/wjOkdyr6Cr8/видео.html
Because he directly ripping off RLMs style, right down to the shitty Plinkett voice and the name of his account?
It's like a Plinkett from another dimension, where he didn't grow soft and didn't go easy on The Last Jedi!
INTO THE PLINKETT-VERSE!
I am not sure why, but I find you much funnier than the actual Plinkett.
Are you going to do a Video about Episode 9 too?
He better, othewise this meaty seagull will have to go crush his skull with my gigantic arms.
Honestly, Rey embodies the “Mary Sue” trope to such a crazy extreme, more so than any other character I can think of from a big budget blockbuster film that’s been released and recognized worldwide, that I believe the trope should be renamed after her
That's why we call her Mah'Rey Sue.
This is so insanely educational, well-written and made. All hats off...
It still lacks prostitutes down the basement...
I'm ashamed to admit it, but unitl I watched this video, I thought the negative reception of Last Jedi was greatly exaggerated. Now I know the truth. Hackfreudmedia is the true Plinkettborne.
Opening for Ep. 9: Luke wakes up cleanly shaven and in a brightly lit rebel quarters with the sound of water running. He is confused and cautious as he sneaks down a grey padded hallway that looks eerily akin to corridors of Bespin. He realizes the water he is hearing is a shower. He slowly reaches for the door and just as he is about to open the hatch, Patrick Duffy pops his head around the corner and asks Luke to hand him a towel.
You had me until Patrick Duffy. I was thinking Mara Jade.
That was a "Who shot JR.?" reference from Dallas.
Another review dumping on the Last Jedi...I LOVE IT!!!
What if Capitol Records released a brand new Beatles album, 12 new songs written, produced and recorded by Jimmy Buffet and DMX, with Paul Mccartney and Ringo Starr just appearing on the cover picture?
And not Capitol, but Sony.
That's an unfair comparison. Jimmy Buffet and DMX doing covers of The Beatles sounds like hilarity on vinyl.
I clapped when I saw jokes from RLM, E;R and Müller. Again!
*I LOVE REPETITION!!!!*
@@metalheadretrogamer5330 No one is going to tell you AND YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT!
"I know what that is!"
I CLAPPED WHEN I SAW THAT INTERVIEW WITH MAKE HAMIL!!!
Yep, gotta C L A P ! ! !
I think that Dark Helmet and Colonel Sanders are more competent than Emo Ren and Ron Weasley (Hux).
Actually it’s Bill Weasley.
But agreed, although I wouldn’t narrow it down to those two and say most characters are more competent.
26:30 _"If the conflict in your story relies on the ineptitude of your characters . . . that's called SH*TTY WRITING!"_
This. Characters in this movie make stupid choices in order to keep the movie going. For example, in the first five minutes, 1) Hux attacks an empty rebel base, instead of destroying the Raddus because if he destroyed the Raddus, the movie would be over. 2) Hux sends 3 TIE fighters against the Raddus, instead of several hundred because if he sent several hundred, the movie would be over. 3) Hux doesn't send a few Star Destroyers through hyperspace ahead of the Raddus to cut them off because if he does that, the movie would be over. That long, slow, boring space chase, which takes up about a third of the movie depends on the First Order not knowing that they can do this whenever they want.
Wait. Right at the beginning, Hux orders "obliterate their fleet". Unfortunately, the complete crew comes from a planet where "obliterate" means "cause no harm". See? Everyone is a trained professional, they came out of hyperspace with weapons hot...and then a simple misunderstanding.
Or just shoddy script writing. Yes, sounds more plausible. Fanboys will, of course, now start circulating the "unfortunate language barrier" retcon and my name will be blemished forever.
It's time for the Jedi to end
But no one's ever really gone.
*slowclap* Disney
I came to this island to die.
But I left a map behind leading to my location so you could find me!
I think real Plinkett just succumbed to the reality of it all and it broke something inside of him so now he places the bar so low that nothing really shocks him anymore. Thus, a new Plinkett was born.
cue: the universe and its auto-balance ability !
Everything in balance. As it should be.
@@trustworthytim4762
*BALANCED PERFECTLY, AS ALL THINGS SHOULD BE!!*
@@thatonea-hole PERFECTLY BALANCED, not balanced perfectly. ffs
Every generation has a Plinkett.
It's official! From Now on Johnson will be forever known as RUIN Johnson. Who's with me?
Don't forget Jar Jar Abrams and Cuntleen Kennedy!
@@NexusKin I think those are appropriate monikers.
here, here is a what if... what if the throwing the lightsaber scene was changed... to something else...
She hands him the saber she found. He holds it in his hands, his eyes closed. Then a moment of a grimace across his face, his eyes, piercingly bright are open suddenly. And then he speaks.
"This Saber, was a part of myself, I lost long ago, and only when I lost it did I begin to gain true wisdom." and then he holds it out to her almost but then he shakes his head and throws himself into another comment before she can take it though she doesn't move towards it unsure. "This is the saber that created the pain of the Jedi knights and the fall of the old republic, it is a saber that nearly cut down the Jedi master who trained me, and it nearly lost my fathers life, it did cost my mothers life, and left me adrift in a cosmic void, it cost Alderaan its life, its people that survived now refugees in space seeking hospitality wherever a free heart and helping hands are. This saber... cost the galaxy its morality and its peace for too long. It is a blade that betrays its owners to their own passions, that destiny has spoken on. Those that wield it will seek to use violence and the warrior's path, when they should seek wisdom and the enlightened path. Only when you discard your desire to fight, will you learn to bring peace, only when you know how to handle this blade and how to set it down will you find your folly and let it go. If you can find this blade again... I will have no choice but to train you."
and then he throws the blade far behind him, deep into the ocean.
and she has to go: what? what do you mean?
Her again: why are you not training me?!
Luke Skywalker: Iam teaching you, if you are to train, it must be you that trains you. Only you can choose to learn the lesson that I am teaching.. and he walks to the mountainside and stares at the ocean.
her: what am I supposed to do?
Luke Skywalker: you can go find the blade if you must, or you can train with the monks on this mountain to listen to the force. Or you can have soup with me tonight, it is a fine fish, and vegetable broth stew. I know quite a few ways to make the food here. Would you be intereested in learning the recipes?
Rei Skywalker: Why?! Why won't you train me?
Luke Skywalker: why, how did you find the blade? how did you find me?
Rei Skywalker: it was given to me... both times...
Luke Skywalker: now you must earn it, by listening. Go, find the blade if you want to be trained to be a warrior, and remember what I have told you about knowing when to set the blade down before it destroys you, and those you would try to defend.
Rei goes off and searching for the blade disbelieving, considering going elsewhere or just talking with the monks, she watches the monks for a while in deep meditation has reservations about studying with them, and then goes and sits next to them and asks them if that is luke skywalker.
Monk: Skywalker? He is simply a student at our monastery.
Rei Skywalker: then where is luke skywalker?
Monk: Luke Skywalker? You mean the great legendary son of Anakin Skywalker, formerly Darth Vader?
Rei Skywalker: !? what?! Darth Vader is Anakin skywalker?! (for some reason lets say she doesn't know or lets just say that she doesn't even know she is a skywalker, but if she does this line can be skipped and it can be modified to be about the arrogance of knowing she is a grandchild of the legendary Anakin skywalker and a relative of Luke and Leia skywalker)
Monk: in the end, there are students, those willing to learn, and there are those who are not students, who are unwilling to learn. names mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.... who are you?
Rei grumbles for a while and after listening to other quiet whisperings of monks as they listen to the force and talk amongst themselves and talk with the nature, the life force around them, she goes and searches the water for the saber hilt
For such a long comment this is surprisingly good.
@@handsomebrick Thank you, i do try to write worthwhile ideas most of the time, sometimes it is just insane ranting and i have to double check it sometimes :)
I do like the idea of a traumatized Luke withdrawing from the vulgar, mundane world to seek enlightenment. And Rey's arrival prompts him to reevaluate this, ultimately deciding to continue affecting change in his surroundings. Would make more sense than what we got, at least.
@@Alex-0597 Rey got Han Murdered.... from a certain point of view :(
All that said... i have a whole lot more that would make the whole trillogy make incredible sense, all the right bits and pieces are there, it just needs the big reveal in a fourth film and a big surprise ending in a fifth film, and a final film could throw in a surprise story
This review is better than the movie itself and better crafted, well done Sir.
I clapped when I saw pizza rolls
*I SAW IT AND I CLAPPED*
@@dietrichotto2051 **I KNOW THIS SO I CLAPPED**
Wonder if we'll finally get our pizza rolls in the mail like we requested years ago.
You know what that’s a good point. In TFA Snoke mentions some training Kylo needed to complete. Yet in the TLJ, the story picks up immediately and ignores that point.
This movie is literally an insult to Mark Hamill and his dedication to his most famous role and its message.
At least in Wing Commander they had the decency to have his character die doing something important.
I love the part where Kathleen Kennedy unironically explains why forced gender diversity in filmmaking is inherently flawed
The last jedi is the worst Star Wars movie ever EVERYBODY GOT THAT?
dark killer attack of the clones
@@BeefMissileband
Not even close. AOTC was really, really, REALLY fucking bad, no question... But literally every scene in TLJ has some kind of a fundamental flaw in it. Even AOTC had SOME things that worked well, TLJ only has the visual effects.
Yes Lord Helmet!!
In all seriousness The Last Jedi is a solid 6.1/10 plot could’ve been better and better fleshed out characters
@@dumonga9594
There were more *plotholes* than actual *plot.* The entire thing needed to be scrapped and redrafted about 4-5 times.
A "solid" 2.3/10 is the ONLY reasonable rating to give it. Unless we treat it like a tone deaf comedy, then it's easily a 6/10.
I wonder how many “everybody got that?” type lines are gonna be in TROS.
Pretty much every single line of dialogue will get that treatment!
This deserves to be viral since you manage to surpass Mr plinkett
Part 1 and 2 are brilliantly done. In fact, they are 10,000 times better than The Last Jedi. My heart goes out to, Mark Hamil, this movie devastated and destroyed everything he believed in.
J. MAN but he still got his paycheck
@@HiDesert004 He probably wouldn't have done it if he wasn't contracted.
We relate to Hack Fraud Media by his actions and his character.
So he's not a hack or a fraud then!
ACKTIOUNS AHND CKHAURACKTAURE.
And now Rey is confirmed to be the granddaughter of Palpatine so she is related to one of the canon characters...making her even more a Mary Sue.
It’s funny that in the last Jedi the person with the most sense is a straight white male.
Edit: do you think we can get people to boycott The Rise of Skywalker?
Given their current box office, I'd say yes.
I didn't watch it simply because why would I pay money to see that? I wouldn't call it a boycott though.
It is crazy how well the comparisons work with the last jedi and space balls.
Hey! You can't park that idea here!!!
Ruin Johnson must have thought he was such a clever rebel... being to Star Wars what Galen Erso was to the Death Star... planting a self destruct mechanism inside, tongue in cheek.
Watching the 2 episodes for the second time right now! 1000 times more enjoyable than the movie. 10 times more complete than the Real Plinkett review.
Olay, the leia flight scene and the [censored] scene had me dying of laughter. I also got my first kiss pretending to be Luke Skywalker and the girl princess Leia :^)
please don't ever stop making content, because if you're not plinkett, i bet he's impressed. love redletter but you crafted a sharp narrative here.
edit: 19:08 makes my case.
Writers who feel threatened by criticism claim critics are threatened by women.
Bingo.
I need more blasters that sound like airhorns in my life. I laughed harder at that than I should've.
By far the best review of this trainwreck. RLM's review was a total letdown
Well, "Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley" stands taller than the "Star Wars" Heroin(es) and has more screen presence when she's holding "Jones' in a Hypersleep chamber. It is unfortunate that Ridley Scott has been infected with "Weland-Yutani fever" and prefers the life and times of an androgenous Artificial bent on the destruction of Homo sapiens. "Star Wars"? I used to watch movies with that name until The Engineers got ahold of it and did a FUBAR job.
Every old movie is being dragged through the mud in the same way. The details may wary, but it's the same mindless crap across the board. What people like Kennedy are too dumb to understand is that Ripley was so great because all the characters in Alien were written gender neutrally. Ripley was never written as a woman. Dallas could have been played by a woman. It would have made zero difference because it wasn't a movie about penises and vaginas, just like Star Wars isn't.
Ripley was written as a competent character and then cast with a superb actor in the role. The gender was irrelevant. If Weaver had been hired just because she has a vagina, like Daisy Williams was, then Ripley would have been just as shit as Rey is. And until Hollywood writers understand this their movies will remain shit. Alien was endlessly more "progressive", if that's somehow the goal of entertainment these days, than TLJ, and it is not close. And that movie was made in 1979! By men!
@Maximillian Wylde I'm telling you she wasn't. Ripley became a woman during casting. Obviously she was written as a woman in Aliens, because they already knew who they'd cast for the part. But other than about two lines of "romance" with Hicks she has no lines that tell you she's a woman there either. There was no sex until Alien3.
In Alien you don't even have two lines of romance, because when they wrote it they didn't know the gender of any of the characters. Why do you speak when you don't know what you're talking about?
@Maximillian Wylde FFs, it wasn't male! It was gender-indeterminate.
I ate 40,000 pizza rolls and got DIABEEEEEETEEES!!!!
I literally laughed out loud when the recorder started playing along with the title music.
haha me too, then the warped Spaceballs theme lol
Like to point out given what we now know from Episode IX, why would the Skywalker lightsaber call out to a Palpatine?
great work... continuing plinketts' legacy in a honourable way
Patrick Berger This is the same guy that does Plinketts.
Xesisgood I’m fairly certain this isn’t made by Mike Stoklasa™. It’s very well done though. Pretty talented dude doing these, albeit derivative. I dig it though. It’s like watching The Orville.
Ironically this type of media draws out the ultimate limitation of feminism...
Failure to translate to the reality we live in.
How did you not bring up the fact that one of her skills is swimming despite living on a desert planet?
she used force swim.
Mo Luj Next she will use Force Volt Tackle.
She learned to swim in the water trough that Finn drank from
Swimming pools?
Real talk. This is like the The Orville of Plinkett reviews. It’s well executed, thoughtfully put together fan fiction that managed to outperform it’s genuine counterpart at its best moments. If it wasn’t so nicely done, it would be super cringe. Instead it honors the O.G. with worthiness. This is like the level of care that Mike put into the Star Trek TNG movie plinkett reviews, and it shows. As an artist myself, I was curious at first about how I’d feel after seeing something like this that was based on my stuff. This would be a healthy dose of both flattery *and* motivation to push myself harder at my craft. I hope that’s how Mike feels from these.
29:59
I would say that Rose is the Slippy of the Star Wars universe, but even that would be charitable as Slippy was at least useful enough to show you how much health the boss had.
Also, Slippy won't ram her ship into yours right as you're about to go in for the [admittedly suicidal] killing blow to the enemy and cause untold casualties while yammering on about love or whatever.
All this needs is Mark Hamill telling Poe to, drum roll please...
*"Do a barrel roll!"*
I agree Fake Fake Plinkett™, a good review can come anytime, and congrats, it was well worth the wait.
Relate to Captain Phasma?
Who are these people who could relate to her? Kathleen Kenedy?
Yeah she really could relate with a coldblooded tirant gulag puppet guard chief.
NPCs are the only "people" who can relate to her.
No one thinks if they are gonna be able to relate to fake people in a story when seeing a movie
Listening to the actress talk about Phasma made me cringe. She looked a total fool and sounded like a first-year graduate who landed a part as an extra in a brief sidewalk cafe scene in a B-movie. She talks about Phasma as though she's some all-important character, but in reality Phasma has had AT MOST, 5-10 minutes of screen time between BOTH FILMS. Her character is less relevant than Lando's android assistant on Cloud City.
Just comes off as drunk on the concept of "the first female Stormtrooper," and has to pretty much pull everything else out of her ass in order to prop the character up, because on screen, "first female Stormtrooper" is all that defines her. Even then, if we had not been TOLD this outside of the film, we never would've known because Phasma always has her helmet on.
A very similar trend from Series 11 of Doctor Who -- all three companions were defined by nothing else other than the sociopolitical boxes they ticked.
Whenever I see those clips of the interviews with Gwendolyn Christy, I feel like she’s trying to cover up for the fact that her character is bogus, and she knows it. She tries to make her seem like a bigger deal than she really is, because she knows deep down in her heart, that Captain Phasma is a throwaway character.
THIS is the best time I've ever spent on RUclips... I LOVE this masterpiece analysis!
When the Ewok nearly strangled himself with his weapon in ROTJ; that was pure slapstick.
That scene still annoys me.
Long live Plinkett and his spastic colon!!!!
They made an adopted and extended version of that scene and called it "the prequels".
OH MY GOD this deserves an Oscar for editing
The Mary Sue part was literally ON POINT ?!
This video absolutely deserves more views. Your editing is hysterical! I guffawed at the 'don't ask questions' part with the Wizard of Oz superimposed.
54:36 - This was probably the most important information of the whole movie, and the exposition of it barely made it into the movie.
By the way, why is Han's dog looking so sad in the background? Just throw him that stick that you're carrying around, or maybe a porg!