It's amazing how similar we all really are. Your experiences with avoidance and managing emotions are very relatable. I highly respect you for how you've been able to cope and even make a living out of what you've been through and learned.
So good! I too have learned to be okay with cringe and embarrassment. I think it's endearing and helps keep us humble. I had a stroke a few years ago and even after taking speech therapy I'd get some words wrong. Half the time I'd meant to say part I'd say fart instead. It happens far less now but it amuses me every time 😅 Thank you for sharing your story and being vulnerable.
I get my being "right for particular people". I don't get why then, they follow us? It's like disliking Big Mac, but yet keep ordering it and then criticizing how horrible it is. Don't these "trolls" realize they can go elsewhere and order things that are better suited for them? It's as if they are driven by hate. And that is sad.
I would imagine that a facet of what makes something "cringe" likely lies within the person's own trauma and pain history. If an experience was positively rewarded, then it would seem to me more likely to be associated with feelings of positivity or otherwise tend a person towards reproducing that behavior. Whereas, if a behavior or situation caused social isolation, mockery, group discomfort, or some other form of psychic pain for the person, it would be far more likely to form a "cringe" reaction in the person later in life when they see others doing it via empathetic transmission-when we experience shared feelings from our own past pain. I imagine that this is also why _some_ people seem to enjoy the acts of mocking or tormenting others, not those who do it as a means of defense, but rather, those who do not seem to feel the same empathetic connection with others. Those suffering antisocial tendencies or who have what one might label as "sociopathology" or "psychopathology". Effectively, their empathy terminals are corroded or not giving them the pain strike that those of us with good connections might feel. Likewise, those with "hypersensitive" or "highly conductive" empathetic terminals would then be more likely to feel pain associated with other people's situations. Instead of feeling "good" or "happy" about their suffering, they get an extreme reaction that could cause them what to others seem like an "oversensitive " reaction. When, in fact, it is merely they are more naturally tuned to empathy. Furthermore, those with heightened emotions and compounding, long complex trauma history (likely those with say Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for example) would, I'd posit, would be most likely to react most extremely to particular stimuli to the point they might lash out (if they lack the appropriate self-soothing or social responses), or worse. If you've ever seen someone react violently (magnitude of reaction, not necessarily with actual violence) to a particular situation or stimuli, such as say watching children being tortured or killed brutally/tragically in fiction, or who may react to a "cringy situation in a sitcom" (for example, the tv show, _*Community*_) where instead of being able to laugh, they have to stop, turn away, or demonstrate extreme physical discomfort (as the part of the brain that processes physical pain also processes emotional pain). For these reasons, I don't think it is entirely possible to discuss "cringe" without a nuanced encounter with trauma/pain, and how we process it. A meaningful experiment for "cringe" would be to have a group of people watch a particular set of scenes that are new, but built upon reported/empirically tested physiological reactions to specific events/scenes. As you want the scenes to be "new", and therefore not give the person "the ability to disengage" or "abstract" the scene taking place, you'd want them to be similar, yet not identical. But nevertheless, offer generally similar reactions from those being tested/whose body reactions measured. By testing their reactions on a pain medication such as acetaminophen/ibuprofen, which has been more recently studied for apparently lowering empathy and pain in those taking it, one could then to some degree measure to what extent pain plays into a person's reaction to a cringy scene. If the people measured with and without pain meds have near identical reactions, then it could demonstrate that the pain receptors and trauma do not play a role. If, however, pain does demonstrate a varied reaction (such as the tests van der Kolk describes in his book, The Body Keeps the Score, where he and colleagues placed veterans hands in ice water and showed them neutral images/clips/films vs "war" content. The vets showed that when they were viewing "war" content, their body was pumping out huge quantities of opioid hormones to cope with the emotional pain and stimulus. A considerable quantity when measured using a morphine pain chart.), and the viewer was less stimulated/aroused (trauma/sympathetic nervous system wise) by the situation, then one could possibly conclude that pain, and in particular, trauma/empathy pain responses play a role in what we consider "cridge".
Awesome! I was looking for a relisten of the dirty bits, but sadly they seem to be no more. I am happy you are doing well and love your long form stuff, regardless of cringe levels
You not only found a coping mechanism you found a way to not avoid and cope . Comedy is therapy think was robin who said that Took me long time I'm sensitive I'm introvert and prefer a book to did not know was a podcast, I'll have to check it out Love your videos you always been fun entertaining a frend As for cringe I don't usually bother what others think or look for reviews other than yeah do it to myself lol Thanks for this tawny
As a fellow content creator I also have noticed these things and it was nice to see someone’s work I admire have similar thoughts on the matter ❤ especially the end about anxiety/hyper vigilance. It’s always the week before a content release it upticks. Thank you for taking the time for creating this.
I am on the Spectrum too and I relate SO MUCH. Thank you for coming out and being vulnerable and sharing this. Love your videos. So cool. I like analyzing personalities too.
My deepest condolences, I know it's hard to say final goodbye to someone you loved. What you said on neuro divergence deeply resonated with me. I too struggled to understand how people could be so quick at answering as if they did not have to think and could just be natural. They also seemed to know a whole deal more about socially acceptable stuff than me, a neglected kid with high IQ raised in isolation. I changed when we left our isolated farmland and moved to a city where I had access to a library and internet, which I used to study various situations and the logical reactions. Playing role playing games with other outcast also helped me impersonate a neurotypical guy. But, combined to my strange education, or lack thereof, some things I read created misunderstanding in my subconscious on what was normal or not, and I was still very different from most people. It took me decades to adapt to this strange world. === On the subject of cringe... I feel like we are all someone's else's cringe. Like, I have this colleague who reject popular culture stuff by reflex. If it's popular, then it suck. If people find it cringe, then it's great. While I am not one to like something just because it is popular, accepting or rejecting something you don't know without thinking it trough, just on face value, appear illogical. And thus, while he cringe at me when I try to talk about what I did and enjoyed with people I like, I too cringe hearing him talk about his depressing (to me) life. I think we get a lot more vulnerable to cringe when we care too much about other people's opinions and not enough about our own. That is especially true for teenagers. My 14 years old niece whom I used to do a lot of things with, is now finding everything to be cringy and will just stand there arms crossed and judge any one who is having fun rather than partake in said fun, weiter it's something popular to young adults or not. Because she's just so effraid of being judged that she doesn't want to be caught in a vulnerable situation. Unless her bitchy friends tell her it's cool. Because clearly, these scantily clad kids are the epitome of good taste. 🙄 Anyway, the other day, on Instagram, I commented on the post of a sporty girl about the science behind training as a woman. Some dude who was probably only there to swoon on her curves, came along and started trying to shame me by calling me NERD and comparing me to a family guy character, saying if I was there, he'd tell me to Shut the fuck up. ...For a post that was 1/3 of what I could write usually and that he, admitting himself, did not bother to read. Instead of feeling ashamed for myself, I ended up cringing for him. Because to me, he was expressing his lack of culture and intellect proudly as a badge of merit. And I ended up judging him as much as he judged me. (Also, I don't know about that character's reaction of letting other trample it, but as a trained mercenary, I would be quite a bit less passive to gratuitous bullying XD ) Anyway, all this rant just to say that we all do stuff that other, or our younger self, or our older self, will judge as cringy at some point. But it's better to laugh it off than focus on it at night wishing we could turn back time. When 3 people fall face flat on the ground, who get mocked the less? The one who seem mortified, the one who get angry, or the one who just laugh at his clumsiness and keep going without making a fuss? Just enjoy life the way you genuinely feel it right to. There will be plenty of time for regrets when you are too old to walk. For now, live.
Jokes and humor was how I coped and avoided my own lasting grief and other things. Like you and others said, not inappropriate but everybody can acknowledge that it doesn't have to be the be-all-end-all Edit: posted before I finished the video. In general, you discuss many things we're cognizant about for my kid's future. We'll try to guide and empathize as much as we can without being overbearing or authoritative with the growing experience
Cringe away! Or don’t. You’ve made me laugh regardless of the subject matter. You’re a sincerely funny and talented person in many arenas. Keep up the good stuff and never mind the trolls. 🎉
I'm here for your long form after finding your corporate-verse on Instagram back at the beginning of it! I'm surprised of the low views, we need the Tawny army here to boost your videos!!
I think cringe can be many times related to a specific group, age and culture… unless if it’s something mean spirited and done with malice who cares ? We need to live our lives and be happy being ourselves… granted it’s better easy to say than to live than. Maybe since I kind live a sheltered life at home with my spouse and only cultivate a small group of friends and relatives.. it’s easy to me to not bother what others think.
What if the cringe was just the friends we made along the way?
👀👀👀
I was not expecting the Corporateverse Lady to post something so insightful and relatable. This was a pleasant surprise.
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
It's amazing how similar we all really are. Your experiences with avoidance and managing emotions are very relatable. I highly respect you for how you've been able to cope and even make a living out of what you've been through and learned.
I so appreciate you sharing that with me tysm 🫶🏻
The way avoid it is being a devout Cringian and celebrating Cringemas every April 4th, 4444.
Blessed be the cringey
So good! I too have learned to be okay with cringe and embarrassment. I think it's endearing and helps keep us humble.
I had a stroke a few years ago and even after taking speech therapy I'd get some words wrong. Half the time I'd meant to say part I'd say fart instead. It happens far less now but it amuses me every time 😅
Thank you for sharing your story and being vulnerable.
I appreciate you sharing yours!
I get my being "right for particular people". I don't get why then, they follow us? It's like disliking Big Mac, but yet keep ordering it and then criticizing how horrible it is. Don't these "trolls" realize they can go elsewhere and order things that are better suited for them? It's as if they are driven by hate. And that is sad.
💕
This may sound "cringey", but I genuinely like everything you do. Keep up the fantastic work!
Thanks!!
I would imagine that a facet of what makes something "cringe" likely lies within the person's own trauma and pain history. If an experience was positively rewarded, then it would seem to me more likely to be associated with feelings of positivity or otherwise tend a person towards reproducing that behavior. Whereas, if a behavior or situation caused social isolation, mockery, group discomfort, or some other form of psychic pain for the person, it would be far more likely to form a "cringe" reaction in the person later in life when they see others doing it via empathetic transmission-when we experience shared feelings from our own past pain.
I imagine that this is also why _some_ people seem to enjoy the acts of mocking or tormenting others, not those who do it as a means of defense, but rather, those who do not seem to feel the same empathetic connection with others. Those suffering antisocial tendencies or who have what one might label as "sociopathology" or "psychopathology". Effectively, their empathy terminals are corroded or not giving them the pain strike that those of us with good connections might feel.
Likewise, those with "hypersensitive" or "highly conductive" empathetic terminals would then be more likely to feel pain associated with other people's situations. Instead of feeling "good" or "happy" about their suffering, they get an extreme reaction that could cause them what to others seem like an "oversensitive " reaction. When, in fact, it is merely they are more naturally tuned to empathy.
Furthermore, those with heightened emotions and compounding, long complex trauma history (likely those with say Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for example) would, I'd posit, would be most likely to react most extremely to particular stimuli to the point they might lash out (if they lack the appropriate self-soothing or social responses), or worse. If you've ever seen someone react violently (magnitude of reaction, not necessarily with actual violence) to a particular situation or stimuli, such as say watching children being tortured or killed brutally/tragically in fiction, or who may react to a "cringy situation in a sitcom" (for example, the tv show, _*Community*_) where instead of being able to laugh, they have to stop, turn away, or demonstrate extreme physical discomfort (as the part of the brain that processes physical pain also processes emotional pain). For these reasons, I don't think it is entirely possible to discuss "cringe" without a nuanced encounter with trauma/pain, and how we process it.
A meaningful experiment for "cringe" would be to have a group of people watch a particular set of scenes that are new, but built upon reported/empirically tested physiological reactions to specific events/scenes. As you want the scenes to be "new", and therefore not give the person "the ability to disengage" or "abstract" the scene taking place, you'd want them to be similar, yet not identical. But nevertheless, offer generally similar reactions from those being tested/whose body reactions measured.
By testing their reactions on a pain medication such as acetaminophen/ibuprofen, which has been more recently studied for apparently lowering empathy and pain in those taking it, one could then to some degree measure to what extent pain plays into a person's reaction to a cringy scene.
If the people measured with and without pain meds have near identical reactions, then it could demonstrate that the pain receptors and trauma do not play a role. If, however, pain does demonstrate a varied reaction (such as the tests van der Kolk describes in his book, The Body Keeps the Score, where he and colleagues placed veterans hands in ice water and showed them neutral images/clips/films vs "war" content. The vets showed that when they were viewing "war" content, their body was pumping out huge quantities of opioid hormones to cope with the emotional pain and stimulus. A considerable quantity when measured using a morphine pain chart.), and the viewer was less stimulated/aroused (trauma/sympathetic nervous system wise) by the situation, then one could possibly conclude that pain, and in particular, trauma/empathy pain responses play a role in what we consider "cridge".
Awesome! I was looking for a relisten of the dirty bits, but sadly they seem to be no more. I am happy you are doing well and love your long form stuff, regardless of cringe levels
I appreciate that! tysm!
You not only found a coping mechanism you found a way to not avoid and cope . Comedy is therapy think was robin who said that
Took me long time I'm sensitive I'm introvert and prefer a book to
did not know was a podcast, I'll have to check it out
Love your videos you always been fun entertaining a frend
As for cringe I don't usually bother what others think or look for reviews other than yeah do it to myself lol
Thanks for this tawny
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
As a fellow content creator I also have noticed these things and it was nice to see someone’s work I admire have similar thoughts on the matter ❤ especially the end about anxiety/hyper vigilance. It’s always the week before a content release it upticks. Thank you for taking the time for creating this.
I appreciate that so much 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am on the Spectrum too and I relate SO MUCH. Thank you for coming out and being vulnerable and sharing this.
Love your videos. So cool. I like analyzing personalities too.
My deepest condolences, I know it's hard to say final goodbye to someone you loved.
What you said on neuro divergence deeply resonated with me. I too struggled to understand how people could be so quick at answering as if they did not have to think and could just be natural. They also seemed to know a whole deal more about socially acceptable stuff than me, a neglected kid with high IQ raised in isolation.
I changed when we left our isolated farmland and moved to a city where I had access to a library and internet, which I used to study various situations and the logical reactions. Playing role playing games with other outcast also helped me impersonate a neurotypical guy.
But, combined to my strange education, or lack thereof, some things I read created misunderstanding in my subconscious on what was normal or not, and I was still very different from most people. It took me decades to adapt to this strange world.
===
On the subject of cringe...
I feel like we are all someone's else's cringe. Like, I have this colleague who reject popular culture stuff by reflex. If it's popular, then it suck. If people find it cringe, then it's great.
While I am not one to like something just because it is popular, accepting or rejecting something you don't know without thinking it trough, just on face value, appear illogical. And thus, while he cringe at me when I try to talk about what I did and enjoyed with people I like, I too cringe hearing him talk about his depressing (to me) life.
I think we get a lot more vulnerable to cringe when we care too much about other people's opinions and not enough about our own.
That is especially true for teenagers. My 14 years old niece whom I used to do a lot of things with, is now finding everything to be cringy and will just stand there arms crossed and judge any one who is having fun rather than partake in said fun, weiter it's something popular to young adults or not.
Because she's just so effraid of being judged that she doesn't want to be caught in a vulnerable situation. Unless her bitchy friends tell her it's cool. Because clearly, these scantily clad kids are the epitome of good taste. 🙄
Anyway, the other day, on Instagram, I commented on the post of a sporty girl about the science behind training as a woman. Some dude who was probably only there to swoon on her curves, came along and started trying to shame me by calling me NERD and comparing me to a family guy character, saying if I was there, he'd tell me to Shut the fuck up.
...For a post that was 1/3 of what I could write usually and that he, admitting himself, did not bother to read.
Instead of feeling ashamed for myself, I ended up cringing for him. Because to me, he was expressing his lack of culture and intellect proudly as a badge of merit. And I ended up judging him as much as he judged me. (Also, I don't know about that character's reaction of letting other trample it, but as a trained mercenary, I would be quite a bit less passive to gratuitous bullying XD )
Anyway, all this rant just to say that we all do stuff that other, or our younger self, or our older self, will judge as cringy at some point. But it's better to laugh it off than focus on it at night wishing we could turn back time.
When 3 people fall face flat on the ground, who get mocked the less? The one who seem mortified, the one who get angry, or the one who just laugh at his clumsiness and keep going without making a fuss?
Just enjoy life the way you genuinely feel it right to. There will be plenty of time for regrets when you are too old to walk. For now, live.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
This was done sooooo well! I loved watching this. Thank you for your insight:)
Aww thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
Can't tell you how much this resonated, Tawny. Just wanted to say "Thank you."
Awww thanks dude 🫶🏻
I dig the “DBT” shout out in reference to radical acceptance 💜 You have had one courageous journey
Keep pumping your content 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Thank you! I stan DBT
Exactly! I feel like we had the same childhood. I wish I could have liked the video twice!
Aww I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for the kind words!
Love the long form content
I’m so glad you’re enjoying it!
Jokes and humor was how I coped and avoided my own lasting grief and other things.
Like you and others said, not inappropriate but everybody can acknowledge that it doesn't have to be the be-all-end-all
Edit: posted before I finished the video. In general, you discuss many things we're cognizant about for my kid's future. We'll try to guide and empathize as much as we can without being overbearing or authoritative with the growing experience
🖤🖤🖤
Great video, Tawny!!!
I’m so glad you liked it!
Cringe away! Or don’t. You’ve made me laugh regardless of the subject matter. You’re a sincerely funny and talented person in many arenas. Keep up the good stuff and never mind the trolls. 🎉
Aww I appreciate you!
My wife and daughter are both neurodivergent. What you went through as a kid sounds like what my daughter is going through now.
🖤
Great video Tawny!
Aww thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
I'm here for your long form after finding your corporate-verse on Instagram back at the beginning of it! I'm surprised of the low views, we need the Tawny army here to boost your videos!!
You’re not cringe. You’re lovable. In an earlier comment I flippantly proposed marriage not knowing you were a widow
I think cringe can be many times related to a specific group, age and culture… unless if it’s something mean spirited and done with malice who cares ? We need to live our lives and be happy being ourselves… granted it’s better easy to say than to live than. Maybe since I kind live a sheltered life at home with my spouse and only cultivate a small group of friends and relatives.. it’s easy to me to not bother what others think.
Great video and a great share.
Tysm!
this was helpful. thank you. 🙂
💜💜💜
You stared into the bagel, didn't you?
Yes.
Maybe