Toxic Mother-In-Law Told Me I Wasn't "Family" Right Before Our Vacation. So My Husband & I Ditched..
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- Toxic Mother-In-Law Told Me I Wasn't "Family" Right Before Our Vacation. So My Husband & I Ditched Them At The Airport And Went On Our Own Trip.
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The reason they didn't tell her to pay for the vacation from the beginning is because they knew their son didn't share the sentiment. The MIL didn't have the balls to say "I don't think you're family and you have to pay for your own trip" in front of her son and waited till the day before, hoping the OP would either keep quiet and not talk about it or just straight up not come.
Dunno what her plan was after. Was she thinking her son would never find out? She wanted to stay close to her son and drive away the "no family" wife but now she completely lost her son. What wonderful karma
Girls don,t have balls
I think it's more that she wanted OP to drop out and expected her son to see she wasn't good enough for their family and made a mistake marrying her. She seems to have this idea, as does the rest of the family, that she is the reason the son wants space from them and not because they're toxic and overbearing.
She wanted her either to drop out and only want her son to come and even if she came they would have deliberately had or did most expensive thing to torture her
That sounds right.
Dat ain't a family. Dat is a cult
careful there, you could be attacked for saying that
@@arthaiser a lot of people get attacked for saying the truth.
@@arthaiser And I say: Bring it!
@@roguedisciple2966 i stand by you my guy
What’s “Dat” mean?
Absolutely shocked by the number of people who think it's ok to treat someone who married your son as if they are not family for something as asinine as "he moved out after he started dating you."
MIL deserved everything she got and more, and rest of the in laws instantly inherited deserving it too soon as they sided with her on this.
You DO NOT get to make the fall on who is and is not in your family where your kids are concerned, hubs married her, he decided she's his family, so unless he isn't your family anymore because of it, she is your family.
Literally the only exception is if he's showing up to family gatherings looking afraid of her and covering up stab wounds.
I dunno if he did, but if I was the husband, I would bave told the family that we had been told by MIL not to worry about paying, that she'll take care of it up to the day before they left... no matter how many times I or my wife asked if it would be better for OP to pay.
I think that is a defining factor to show that it isn't OP being unthoughtful.
The people saying that this could’ve been avoided with communication are wrong because mil made it clear that she really dislikes her daughter in law, even if OP and her husband didn’t do what they did at the airport, at some point MIL was going to loose it because she is toxic. You can’t change a toxic person, they’ll only change once something goes down/they face the consequences of their actions 🤷🏾♀️
Sadly, possessive parents who do terrible things to their kids' partners are more common than they should be... yesterday, I read a story about a woman who locked her pregnant DIL inside a sauna, turned it on and left the house to go on a trip, as "punishment" for "stealing her son".
Is the pregnant lady fine?
Do you have the link for this story?
This is beyond doing so.ething terrible...this was literally a crime.
She tried to kill her DIL.
Do you have the link to this story? Was the DIL okay?
Link ? That mess UP
To think that would've been my MIL had she been well-off and had my husband cared about her silly ideas. The arrogance and the audacity.
When you get married, your spouse is your family now. Your parents and siblings are now EXTENDED family. Now I'm not married yet, but personally, I'd have directly expressed that if my wife isn't family, then I'm not family, and cancelled my flight directly, and then planned that duo vacation. NO ONE disrespects my wife, even my parents.
Yep. If you don't respect one of us, then you don't respect either of us.
We are joined as one through a sacred promise.
That family seem like a spider web. There's no need to be so close to the point that the husband says out loud he had no privacy whatsoever.
Sounds like the least traditional Asian family
This is the kind of parents who stop their children from being succesful
I hate my brain
"But now I was beginning to feel it wasn't just a theory"
Immediately followed by me basically yelling "it's a game theory!"
... that was the lamest explanation of them not considering her 'family'.
I'm laughing at this comment section. 😂
If the family had any semblance of being in the right, then, if the update was to be believed, why were they being cut-out of their friends lives when they made OP into the bad guy? Like come on, so many Olympic Gold Medalists with all this reaching. But to those simply saying ESH, you would be correct. They should've said something like, "since they are not valued as family, then why waste our time on a family trip where we'd be interlopers?" Not just ditch and then complain about all the texts.
They're hypocrites. Your husband's better off without them
If i married into that family and saw how she treated and attacked OP, i would divorce out of there so fast and try to take the kids with me
Moms need to realize that we’re raising people for THEIR families. I fully intend to treat my daughter’s future partner like family because if I don’t, I won’t be considered family. My husband is from a really close family but he’s never afraid to prioritize what he calls “our unit” (me, him, our daughter) over his family. We’re all family. But the unit is just us.
But what if he doesn't earn his spot in the family? What if he's like the OP; avoiding family gatherings like the plague without valid excuses like work or illness? And barely talks to the family through social media even just to say hi?
Because that's what OP did, then acts surprised that the family doesn't view her in high regard.
Listening to these stories makes me so glad I’m a straight man 😂. Mother in law drama is non existent and your father in law might hate you but he keeps it pretty bottled up lol
That's the opposite actually. Straight men are often having issues with MILs and FILs. Men just generally don't post it because they feel embarrassed or are afraid of any possible negative backlash.
This is "Everybody Loves Raymond" to an extreme! The in laws are extremely unreasonable!!!
That mother in law sounds like she could give Marie Barone a run for her money 🤦🏾♀️
The husband's family is being toxic especially the MIL because of her expectations.
So OP and her husband had made them show just how toxic and dramatic they are.
My verdict NTA
In the end you marry your partner and their family are part but not the center of your marriage. This MIL is absolutely disgusting and controlling not the wife.
Why did you ghosted them in airport, you could have left after expressing your disappointment instead of abandoning old parents like this! Shame on you, for handling the situation without any grace.
Mil doesn't even know her family is a bunch of gold diggers that the only reason tolerate her
Soooo they’re upset OP wasn’t spending enough time with them, then they’re upset she wants to join the fam holidays… hmmmmm…
As far as the family was concerned, the OP hasn't earned her spot because she deliberately doesn't go to see them often. And honestly, coming from a tight knit family myself (and a big one), I kind of get it.
Imagine being part of a huge tight knit family where everyone gets together frequently to keep the bond strong. Only for a outsider who is dating one of your relatives to not be as enthusiastic and makes up constant excuses to not come to weekly dinners and family holidays. Then all of a sudden, a huge family trip is coming up and suddenly the not so friendly in law wants to go and is expected to be treated like everyone else.
There are always two sides. I’m fairy certain OP did some crap to isolate the son.
my sil isn't even married to my brother yet and she's still family (they've been together for like 7 years tho) she even came with us at vacation and my parents paid for her, i love my sil sm, i'm so sorry for peoples who get bad in-laws
The husband needs to grow a spine and handle his mother.
This maybe an unpopular opinion that the relatives were right to say that what they did was irresponsible, the mil is bad but the fil had nothing to do with this, imagine whats going in his head when his son and dil went to buy tickets and now they can not be found or contacted
im pretty sure he knows how she behaves, or at least have an idea
But they still went in their flight.
Actually no, they had no right in saying what they said, considering Sandra had said "I expect you to pay for your expenses because *I* don't consider YOU a part of MY family.", plus if you had listened properly, the husband had enough because the MIL is a controlling freak who thinks the world revolves around her.
The OP and her husband were lucky to get out when they did and go to a different place. Also, do you really think they'd let her tag along on their excursions if they did go to Miami? No they wouldn't
I'd say the ETA is there then. But still pay stupid games you get stupid rewards. While agree that not telling them what was happening was very childish, the family acting like Op is entitled and was just expecting to be paid for when she was actually just told everything was gonna be covered is BS. Like she said, if they had just been upfront in the beginning, she'd have been ok with it. The MIL herself pulled a childish move by choosing the exact day before and clearly expected her to break down, cry or throw a tantrum. But all she achieved was needlessly hurt her DIL and alienating her son more.
So yea it's a bit of a ETA, but again play stupid games you get stupid rewards
The problem isn't the money. The problem is the reason why the MIL chose not to pay.
I mother called her daughter-in-law a home wrecker for marrying her son is kinda icky
I took a Sociologist class with this really cool professor who in fact worked on the nuclear bombs some time after WWII around 1970 and he always made jokes but one thing he always told us is once you get married get the hell outa dodge. He told us the terms for doing this and its called neolocality. This means a married couple is living away from both sides parents. patrilocality and matrilocality are when a couple lives near the fathers and/or mothers parents and this causes massive problems with the family if you have normal parents because the parents will always want to have a say in their grandkids lives and will eventually cause problems whereas if you live in a neolocal place then you wont deal with these problems and you can always visit grandparents.
All of it was fine, until they didn't tell anyone what was up. Like, they could've gotten the tickets and headed towards their gate and dropped a message in the group chat and the explanation of why then turned off their phones and gone to San Francisco
Not defending the mother at all. If she pulled that nonsense and then her and her husband wanted to separate from that, then more power to them. But how are you just going to ghost the other family members, that WEREN'T a part of that, and leave them at the airport worried for what may have happened to you? That was also a wrong move.
Agreed. Coming from a tight knit family myself, what OP and the husband was honestly both a very low blow and really immature.
So 2 things, one the mother-in-law and the family saying that the wife of the Sun, isolating isolating their son from them because they don't come over every other day and spend time with the family as a little ridiculous, the son wants his own space. And I'm sure that there have been arguments between him and his mother and the past about how he wants to have his own space and his privacy and he finds it ridiculous that she wants him to stay at home for the rest of his life but the way that they walked away and didn't. Tell anybody that they were going to go buy tickets and go somewhere else on their own. Was a little. Irresponsible, but I also see why they did it because if they had told anybody in the family that they were going somewhere else as soon as I said that the whole family would have known. And it probably would have just caused a huge fight at the airport. So in the end, the best situation was for them to go somewhere on their own. But Wednesday we're on the plane in a way from the family and not in a spot where the family could stop them. They should have said something to one of the family members so that they knew at that point that. They were fine and they weren't in Gabby. Daughter-in-law and the son haven't done anything wrong and the mother-in-law and the rest. Yes. The family are in the wrong. Somebody to literally end of their will and give up their own. I'm probably seeing a freedom to adopt to how they want them to act a hundred percent of the time
Well moving houses may be convenient and all but with an ro they will just get the address right away. You can't tell somebody to stay away from someone's home and not tell them the location of the place they must avoid.
I can imagine that MIL house is a "Not to put a lock on the door." type of household...
If an emergency happens, that's not a bad idea.
While I'm all for them having their own vacation since the moms don't consider op as fam. They should've told them that they won't be joining them
tf is wrong with that cult
Whenever she says the mom's name which is fake I immediately think of Sadara
They definitely could have handled the trip situation like adults, but I’m glad they got away.
They DID handle it like Adults and a proper young married couple. They chose continuing to their own relationship independently of parental control, not codependent children. Given how MIL was behaving at the time, and the family being part of that same dynamic, it's best that this happened early on long before kids are in the picture.
@@francinetitherington4060So scaring the crap out of everyone by running off without warning is 'being an adult? To me, that is petty, immature and a low blow on their part.
To be fair what did the siblings do to not get told at the airport. They probably had a right to be pissed, sure fk Sandra but what about the others?
Jesus every other story I hear here and IRL is about a toxic MIL wtf is up with that.
no wonder why op husband wanted to move away. zero privacy for himself
For the first time I'm on the side of the other side of the argument. Lol this chik sounds like a nightmare.
MIL was the AH big time. But I would say that others even the wife was a soft AH too. Because i think there was a way to handle it better.
For example, hubby could've said in family chat before the trip that MIL asked Sandra to pay for herself and that Sandra agreed to this and he just found out, and now he's feeling uspet that nobody seems to see her as family. He would stress that he also found out that MIL seems to blame Sandra for hubby wanting to distance himself.
He then would outline all the ways he felt smothered by his mom long before he even met Sandra, that he had been planning to do this for a long time and when sandra asked to live together he saw it as an convient excuses to get what he finally wanted. So none of this was Sandra's fault.
If family started acting like AHs long before the trip, that’s when the couple will say they're not going with them then. And then go on their own vacation together without telling them.
That way the rest of the family cannot blame sandra too much or blindly take mommy's side if hubby makes it clear it was all his idea all along.
I think no one is the ah here, except for the assault. You guys just want different things and should talk about it.
I feel like the in-laws aren't that bad. I mean, I live in a country where families gather, and communication within the family is so important. Otherwise, you might feel like you're not trying to be part of it, so I see their point of view. (I'm not saying it right, but I see where they're coming from.) So, if the DIL felt insulted, she could simply say, 'I'm not coming,' instead of disappearing and causing the whole family to worry and feel anxious. If she had a problem with the MIL, she could solve it directly with her, but why involve the rest of the family?...
I agree. I also feel like the OP isn't being entirely truthful about how she's interacted with the family. Because it sounds like she barely interacted with them at all, then acts surprised and offended when they don't think highly of her.
idk i agree with the parents not wanting to be there banks i got a brother that is horribly ungrateful and did this to my parents for a long time even tho he barely makes an effort to talk to them or me. Brother was the golden child. but dipped as soon as our mother passed.
Your MIL is 10000% wrong. Yet, i understand the rest of the family being worried. They did not know the context and worried not to see both of you back. You should have told them. Then go away. But they are wrong to expect you to agree being treated differently. You are family they like it or not. Your mil should have told you from the beginning. They are all siding with her because of money and probable inheritance. Your mil should go to therapy.
People are s3xist. When a married man take a decision that doesnt please the family in law, they put it on the woman. 1/ it is insulting for the wife. 2/ it is insulting for the man as it implies he is stupid and immature enough to not be able to take a decision by himself. Sorry for you.
Ok toxic
They should've simply said that they weren't going to go on vacation with the family. What they did was extremely childish, and as someone who tends to be biased and usually sides with the OP in Reddit stories, I still believe that OP was wrong.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
OP got divorce in the most recent update
@@MrArielK Do you know the name of the redittor/ or a link to the post? I am curious in the aftermath of this.
@@MrArielK Sounds like she was the problem
@@MrArielK fr??
What’s the music in the background?
Mil has mental issues.
One of the times I think op and husband are the A’s. Not because they went on their own trip but how they did. You don’t need to ghost them because they were not going to pay. Husband should have grown a set and said if my wife isn’t part of the family than neither am I, then plan your own trip. The airport drama is not necessary.
Wasn´t it just easier to pay for your own trip, considering you went out of your way and went somewhere entirely new and paid x2 peoples woth? You shouldve paid for yourself and see how the situation changed, I believe the family it{s inddeed manipulative but I can see how MY mexican family, would not like my partner behaving this way, and for us as well, seeing eachother that litle doesnt entitle to go for free, and both as grown adults should{ve expected that. Also, isnt it funny how she speaks with so many supositions? she never asked, she assumed the worst.
But then OP would have to spend their vacation with the family. And they arent her family so why would she want to do that?
@@shortangel333thats how you get to know people, theyre your lovers family, every family has issues and theyre not perfect. We can always try bending our shoulders a little to understand our lovers have a life before us, and we need to support them fix those relationships if its possible..
@@pedroalgo3990 If they want those relationships fixed sure, but there are people who don't want to have relationships with their family and that is ok
@@sTas073-i1e yes, it is okay, but you cant manipulate your partner, clearly close to their families, to just pull off them because YOU don{t like them, or dont know how relationships work, there were many ways to go about this but sure, you do you.
Unpopular opinion but I feel like the original posters in the wrong because look I understand that her and her mother-in-law may have had problems in the past when she was barely just dating her husband but if she really wanted to get to know them she should have just tagged along at those family dinners or cookouts or whatever the hell was going on because at least it would have shown on her part that she's making an effort and I'm sorry to say sometimes you have to do that for you to feel welcome because if not I hate to say the family you're marrying into doesn't see it as a responsibility to pay for anything to do with you even if they felt that that's the kind of thing they could have done for you maybe that's just me even if you feel that this person was on bad terms with the original poster I feel that there's a lot she's leaving out that doesn't even justify what was going on here
I agree. The MIL could of handled things better regarding her son moving out. But coming from a huge tight knit family myself, I honestly get where the family is coming from. And frankly, that stunt the OP and husband did at the airport was a really low blow and extremely immature.
I feel bad for the husband because he is 100% stuck in the middle between his girlfriend and his family while I understand the need for privacy and everything and honestly sounds like the girlfriend isn't big on familiar ties so she has no problem with the fact that he's not close to his family but it sounds like all his family is wanting is a little bit of time and she's making it sound like they're expected to be there every single day
HE made the decision to move away. HE wanted space too
@@phiacraft338Even so, that doesn't mean just cutting ties on your family. Like you don't need to go to every weekly dinner if you don't want to. But would it kill the OP and husband to go at least once a month?
why are you asking if you are an wrong if you're so sure you're not.....you can't see people once every 2 weeks and except to be treated equally as someone who spends a lot of time together....tbh you are wrong
Not equally, I agree, but also not that badly. Treating your son's wife coldly when she has done nothing wrong besides not living closely is unreasonable. I would've understood treating her less warmly, but not that badly
Seeing inlaws once every two weeks is perfectly fine, even bordering on too much. And if they didn't consider her family, they should've stopped fucking inviting her to family vacations.
Every two weeks is decent amount of time. And let's not forget after she had planned the vacation, the MIL told her that she can pay for herself the day before. The MIL thought that by tell8ng her this, she will not go with them. If let's say she feels that the OP was not part of their family, she would have told her sooner. That was manipulative tactic of the MIL.
I wanna hear the other side of this one
Ok but if OP wanted to be considered a part of the family then she should have actually engaged with the family.
She came in, moved the husband in with her etc, that's fine and normal, but you're telling me in all this time she couldn't be bothered to attend a single weekly dinner? Couldnt engage in their group chats or anything like that?
That she spent zero time with his family and had the gall to act offended when she got called out for only engaging with them when she thought she could get a free trip out of it?
It really does sound like OP is the A. Like unless they're exaggerating, which I doubt since she herself thought they were colder to her because she doesn't spend as much time with them, which tells me she knows what the problem in their relationship is she just wont fix it, presumably because she really does want to isolate her bf and separate him from his family, she just doesnt want people to know that.
I agree. I mean, the MIL does seem a bit controlling and did make a huge fuss out her son moving out. But I honestly do feel like OP isn't being completely honest and is a somewhat self centered person. I won't lie, that stunt she and the husband did at the airport was a really low blow and extremely immature.
wowww😊
You went to san fran?!?!?!?!?!? are you nuts?
Homeless people leaving needles and shitting on the sidewalks. . . . . . .
Accused her of trying to isolate him, ignoring his well stated desires for privacy for the first time in his life, while getting the rest of her kids to cause a scene that gets them all cut off from the rest of the family
Classic controlling narcissistic behavior. She even called OP a "home wrecker" like she was married to her own son. Now THAT'S psycho behavior.
When you have children and MIL tries to get to know them, tell her that she's not a family and has no place near your kid.
@@TheShadowSentinel mil meant she's not blood related so she's not family, the grandchildren are blood related tho. I can relate coz I often hear it from my mil and her family when they gossip about the daughter/son in laws, they have this mindset that their family is superior so they turn a blind eye on blood relatives mistakes and always blame the non families. It changes tho if the non family is super rich, so their priority is money, blood family and non family, in that order lol
Wrong, theres nothing to do with blood@@jha.681
That's a little petty. Id let her see the grandkids, but just a few times a year on holidays. I would intentionally get a job on the other side of the country.
I'd expect a 'shut up, I wasn't talking to YOU' again
Restraining order so she can't be around them.
I think you and your husband wants quality time not quantity time
As any sensible person would
There’s a word for it and it’s called emotional incest. MIL has empty nest syndrome and she’s attached to her kids in a super unhealthy way. She probably asked them multiple times during childhood is they loved her and if she was a good mother and got angry if they said no. Her reaction to her son moving out is exactly what emotional incestuous parents are like.
Not only was the MIL projecting but their family sounds really codependent. My situation wasn't the same but I felt smothered by my family. I didn't have the choice to leave like I wanted until the last 2 years, having little to no privacy can drive a person crazy. Humans are social creatures but some of us are okay being alone and by ourselves sometimes
Whole family is wrong all around
W husband
Recent update says they got divorce
@@MrArielKWhat happened can you summarise please
@@MrArielK bruh u serious?
@@Darkspark06 he lyin
April fools nice try tho@@MrArielK
NGL, they are all aholes. For sure, MIL have unrealistic expectations of what family does. But, that scene on the airport it is indeed borderline psychotic. Taking the POV of one of the family members on the trip. Imagine being in an airport with your family members, when a couple of them went missing with no avail or way to reach on them. It doesn't matter how adult that family member is, it portrays a situation where you should stay there and report missing people to the police. With that in mind, OP looks indeed like she is isolating his husband from the rest of the family and isolation is one of the characteristic of a controlling and abusing relationship. I'm not saying much from the POV of Op since the full 18 min video is about that, so no more need to explain. I think they all are aholes. I think the right move would be to send a text before taking the flight to San Francisco, that would have looked less psycho.
This
I have no idea why so many mothers secretly simp on their sons. . . . . . it's super creepy.
Because the sons are their own sons? Who doesn't love their own son?
Boy moms
@@TheImperiumEmpire552 UR GROSS
She wasn't simping on her son, it was just that as he was the only one not into the cult-I mean...the family meetings, she ended up going after him.
The "lost sheep" and all that BS.
Seems that MIL has a mean controlling streak, if people don't act like she wants and obey her wishes, she goes nuts!
The term for what you're thinking of is, "emotional incest." It's a SUPER messed up phenomenon where mothers (or other family members, usually in a position of authority) become possessive of their sons (or children in general) and treat them more like a partner than a child. They lose their minds when their children become adults and get married because they've deluded themselves into thinking that they should be the only woman present in their son's life. There are a lot of factors that go into it, and usually the mother has experienced some kind of trauma or simply has a deeply and fundamentally warped view of relationships.
This family is exactly like my X ILs. It's crazy. I was scolded because I bought a house 50+ miles away from them. They told me that I should have bought a house no more than 30 minutes away. I wasn't even married to my X at the time. I just told them why would I consider THEM when I live 3k miles away from my own family? Maybe I should move further east to be closer to my own family and make it fair. They never mentioned it again.
So basically the Ex inlaws were like Sandra
@@TheImperiumEmpire552 Literally! The resemblance is creepy.
TBH, I think that OP's husband wanted to escape a family dynamic that was suffocating and demanding and that college and later marriage granted him the excuse to do so. I think that OP's in-laws need to accept that he prefers not living practically in their pockets 24/7. I also think that MiL is certifiable and probably the ringleader in this mess. They are better off far away from her and her brainwashed brood.
Even so, would it kill them to go to family dinners at least once a month?
MIL wants everyone within a 5 MILE radius and family gatherings EVERY OTHER DAY... yeah... that is RIDICULOUS. I'm sorry, but thinking that your grown ADULT CHILDREN shouldn't be given time to enjoy their freetime without the parents is a HUGE red flag. There's no way I would even CONSIDER dating someone who's family is all that codependent.
MIL waited until the DAY BEFORE vacation on PURPOSE hoping that OP wouldn't be able to afford it, thinking that she wouldn't have to pay for it.
Did you marry into Vin Diesels familly?
Is MIL Italian? This sounds like my ex-MIL. She visited my sister-in-law every single day and then whined that she never got so see my son. I pointed out that she was at sister-in-law's--which was only seven houses away--every day and nothing was stopping her from coming over to my house. FIL laughed at this because, obviously, I was supposed to go to her. Yeah, fat chance.
The family is in the wrong there.
To think this could of been avoided with healthy communication
Mother called Daughter-In-Law a homewrecker. The Daughter-In-Law. The one who married that mother's son. That son, who wasn't in a romantic relationship with ANYONE ELSE. The MOTHER called her DAUGHTER-IN-LAW a HOMEWRECKER??!!!!
Ma'am, do you understand what you just implicated yourself with???? 🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮
Mil is cuckoo for coco puffs
Anyone has the name of the redditor, or the link to the story? To be honest, this really feels like a story told from one perspective, so Im curious if there were any updates afterwards or what comment from the people at that time were.
I don’t think these are reddit stories anymore. This user used to take the stories posted on r/BestofRedditorUpdates, but in the past few weeks maybe 1-2 stories/week are from Reddit.
@@Exhelonta4736 makes sense, bestof only posts like once a week while this channel post over 20 videos a
A week
Da AI is doing all da work
if the husband showed some spine from the start and stopped the accusations against op isolating him, show that this was happening with his free will, things wouldn't have come to this level.
Reminds me of my exs mom. She told me that I needed to stop being so distant from the family (though they pushed me away and never involved me in stuff even when I voluteered) and if I spent more time with her specifically then I could be (graced with the honor of being allowed to join) in family photos. I promised I would and we went to a market together, which was hell. Then pictures were taken soon after and I never hung out with her in my free time again. The kicker? My ex and I had been together for almost 12 years, I spent the first half of our relationship kissing her ass but eventually had enough. She was a textbook narcissist, her son was an emotionally abusive ass hat, and the whole family lived on the mom's whims. If she started something with someone and they gotnupsey, they'd have family members telling THEM to apologize to mom becaise "you know how she is, just say sorry to keep the peace" thank GOD I dumped him before they finally wore us down to get married like they had been trying for 3 years. They even tried harder after me and him had a break when he told me he loved me but wasn't in love with me and proceeded to get caught cheating! But he convinced me to take him back and they started asking at every visit when we were gonna get married and yada yada. Good riddance
Yeah, the MIL sounds like a narcissist and a control freak with her behavior, and her going after OP is exactly what narcissists do when their sense of control is gone. Honestly, I don't blame OP and her husband for ditching them, cause the fact that no one from the MIL's family even spoke up already implies MIL has them under their thumb, either as her "mini-mes" or too scared to act out. OP does not have to take this crap for "family" reasons, which makes no sense since MIL outright stated OP is not.
I know you cannot choose who to be related to, but you can absolutely establish boundaries, and if their toxicity and drama is getting to you, then keeping your distance is the only option. However, I still advise OP to keep her guard up, cause despite her unhinged behavior, I know narcissists like her can be surprisingly patient to get back at you over hurt pride. She will return.
Yeah my mom is kinda like MIL because she never really liked that I spent the night at my ex’s house with her family, heck back in 2020 I wanted to get my own apartment but my mom n sister tagged along, i know how to cook, n clean, do my own laundry I don’t know why but still want my own place but rent prices are nuts right now so I don’t think it’s viable anymore which is annoying
I don't really believe this story. I may be wrong but I think she is reimagining the time scales. I don't believe the dinner every other day part. As well as many other parts.
So I think everyone in this overreacted to everything (the mil the most) but I feel like they should have had a talk with all the family members instead of just leaving them at the airport with no explation that was unnecessary and then the family overreacted so in conclusion they all overreacted
The MIL strikes again. Sometimes things go for the worst. Hopefully everything works out in the end.
when you marry to some one that person is your family not anyone else when you add kids there your family until they move out and marry to someone they love
MIL is suffocating and awful. Glad her son got fed up with this. Parents who need their kids around them all the time are fucking weird.
nice and cool
My brother live about fifteen minute away us and we don’t get together as often.
Both Parties Are Wrong, OP’s IL’s Are Wrong But OP & Her Husband Are 100% Wrong As Well.
Going MIA and making them fear something happened to them at the airport was definitely a dick move. I think they shouldve told them their plan when they were on the plane. Its not like they knew what plane they were on so they couldnt have stopped them.
I’d say ETA here. I think it’s obvious why the in-laws are assholes, the story makes it clear. But it is also shitty for OP and her husband to, instead of communicating with the in laws after the “you’re not family” conversation to just abandon the vacation and go on another one. The moment OP and her husband stepped foot in that airport, they were no better for leading them on
Visiting family several times every week is just weird I couldn’t cope with that
I wish I could say I'm surprised commenters were blaming OP but I'm really not... Idk why some people think it's weird to want space from one's family. I live STATES away from my family ON PURPOSE because I love them but being around them too long makes me miserable. It's really not that weird to want space and independence especially from such an unhealthily enmeshed family like that.
Children > Spouse > Everyone else
Absolutely.💯
I know I've said this before in another video, but here goes:
"This feels like a dark version of 'Encanto' or 'Coco'," where the family matriarch is so obsessed with "keeping the family close" that it practically becomes a cult, and anyone who "disagrees" with or "isn't exactly like" the rest of them is to immediately be isolated, and mentally/emotionally abused until they "conform".
...Dang, now I wish Disney would make gritty movies again! 😂
Does this family have a little ritual for those who marry into the family, by any chance?
Massive W to the husband