Living in Germany Made Me a RUDE AMERICAN?!
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- Опубликовано: 7 мар 2017
- Some of the habits I've adopted living in Germany kind of make me look like a rude American when I'm back in the U.S.!
So my question for you is: what kind of experiences have you had with this, and where do you stand on these topics?
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But what are Americans doing if they have a stuffed nose?
betaich go to the restroom or step outside of the room/people's vicinity. I personally find nose blowing disgusting but kids at school will do it in the classroom all the time. Some teachers tell them to step outside. It's not a big deal if you do it openly but it's far more polite if you do choose to step outside
I´m German and i hate when people blow their nose in public! Even as a child it grossed me out. I always left /leave the room so i do not bother somebody with it. Also i really like the wash my hands afterwards so i usually go to the restroom too.
Ah thanks for clearing that up. Here in Germany it is just normal to blow you're nose in public if you have to.
Wipe it descreetly look downwards and don't blow it. You don't want to sound like a fog horn!
And in Germany it is: "Blow your nose discretely. Go a few steps aside. You don't want to sound like a fog horn!"
I feel like the basis of German politeness is "Don't bother other people and don't waste their precious time", so I guess that's the reason other countries think we're rude because we don't take the time to make smalltalk etc.
I think you have a very good point there :)
Exactly 👍
Empress Cosplay I need to move to Germany. That's how I am.
I'm not very good in making smalltalk... It wouldn't sound really natural I think.
That's exactly what I'm thinking. It's just a different type of politeness really but it's very often misunderstood.
I´m German and I always apologise when I bump into someone!! no matter if we just touched shoulders or totally bumped into each other! I find it totally rude if someone just doesn´t say anything at all!!
Marina Kuchenbaur I don't speak German but we live right on the border so I hope saying sorry works there same as in Holland?
Sure as long as you apologise! I also often say `Sorry!` `Entschuldigung` is just so long :D
Marina Kuchenbaur Ich entschuldige mich auch immer, wenn ich in jemand laufe. Gehört für mich zum guten Ton.
Well, it depends on whose fault it was. If I walk through the city (and I walk really fast and determined) and someone just stops walking abruptly in front of me, so that I bump into the person, I don't apologize, because it was the person's fault to do so. I just can't stand people who get in my way. Guess I'm a rude person.
haha same for me :D I rather say "sorry" instead of "entschuldigung" if I bump into someone. Don´t know where I picked this up... think as you say, "sorry" is just shorter
I have to say, as a German who's travelled all over the States, yes, Americans are WAY politer than Germans. However, I don't feel as if Germany is per se impolite. I feel like it's more that you are expected not to make a big deal out of things and "disturb" or "distract" people for any longer than you already have. At times (especially when you're not used to it) this can come across as super-rude and if you're a social butterfly kind of person you might feel shunned, but it really depends. Personally, the cashier in my go-to grocery store is super cool and we always have a laugh when I'm there, but I've been going there for years, so yeah.
On the other hand, in the States, I often feel like people are just being "nice" because it's customary. The guy at Subway doesn't want to know how I'm doing and sometimes you can hear in peoples tones that what they're really saying is: "hey, I don't care what the f* is going on with you, my manager just told me to say it and I need this job."
I don't know, I guess I'm just a little annoyed by the forced friendliness (although I have hardly ever come across an American who wasn't a sweetheart), because it's so pretend.
A similar thing is pointed out about Sweden (I'm German & live in Sweden): There is very little small talk in public places (e.g. a bus shelter, a train, the grocery store), but it seems to be a matter of recognizing that everyone is there for their own reasons, and thus people just don't intrude each other's space. The same holds true for skipping the small talk-portion of e.g. professional phonecalls or e-mails - if you don't know the other person privately, don't ask about their private life. If you don't really care about their answers to your causal questions, and they don't really care to tell you because you're not a part of that part of their life, there is no reason for either of you to spend time engaging in a conversation both participants could do without.
Conversely, what stood out to me in the US was that people aren't only casually engaging with each other in a friendly manner, but are sometimes quite intrusive when something is none of their business, and it still seems to be accepted. I have seen people ask adults not to swear around their children (at very public places, such as Wal Mart or McDonald's) and feeling seemingly righteous about calling out others, I mentioned gay rights in a conversation with a friend and another customer felt compelled to comment on this, and some of my retial-working friends tell stories about how they had to be polite to horrible customers to the point where I'm fairly sure that in Germany, they would not have had to just take such treatment & be polite and understanding and uncomplaining (so politeness in the US, in some of these cases, seemed a fairly one-sided thing: When the matter at hand isn't pleasant, there is often one person on whose conduct the "politeness" of the situation rests, whereas the other person is free to act as they like).
Simsalaclonk, In America if you are not polite then your "cruzin for a bruzen" which means someone might punch you in the face if you're on the bus or public transport and you are disrespectful or stare at them...do not stare at a stranger! .....some people there are gang members, like in Los Angeles and you don't want to get beat up or robbed, you just smile and walk away politely. Yes, politeness matters in America. I'm talking about when inside a store, on the street, in a restaurant.
bookmouse770 I'm not saying that I'm downright rude to people. I don't tell them to leave me alone, I don't stare at them. When I am greeted with "hi, how are you" I reply in fashion because it's the culturally sensitive thing to do. All I meant is that Germans (and apparently the Swedish too, thanks, didn't know that) don't mean to be impolite when they don't treat a random stranger like a good acquaintance. To me it's both the more natural and more honest thing to do. Then again, I am a private person and find it irritating when people interrupt my train of thought. I do participate in American politeness, doesn't mean I have to prefer it.
Simsalaclonk, I'm sure you are very polite, I was just pointing out the dangers involved in certain neighborhoods where there are evil people. America is a very big country. and big citys have their dangers. You are right about waitresses being polite to customers but it is their job and their tip depends on how nice they are. I worked for a Chinese couple and they told me I didn't smile enough when I asked for a raise. ha ha
bookmouse770 Oh God, I know what you mean. Of course (depending on what city you're in) there are people like this. I've encountered a few people similar to this where even the smallest stare or question will set them off, which always amazes me. Like, who can live like that? But I guess it kinda makes sense if they grew up in rough neighborhood
if i bump into someone i say sorry, literally "sorry" despite the fact that I'm a german in germany
Entschuldigung ist auch ein schrecklich hässliches viel zu langes wort... nur dass mich dann alte leute anschauen als hätte ich sie zusätzlich noch beleidigt weil das ja kein "richtiges entschuldigungswort" ist
Is it weird for Germans just to use English words like that instead of the German word? Or is that common?
Same, it's just shorter. Besides, I learned that "Entschuldigung" is wrong because you can't "entschuldigen" yourself, you have to ask the other person for it, like "Entschuldigen Sie bitte."
There is a word for using English words -or root words- in German. Its called "Denglish". ☺
If I moved to Germany, is it worth it to learn German? I think German is so cool and I'd learn it anyway but I just want to know if people even need to learn it. I heard that it's pointless for English-speakers to learn German because pretty much everybody in Germany speaks English anyway or will just talk to you in English instead. That kind of makes me sad though because i'd want to be able to use it.
My German bf says the exact opposite about swearing - he swears a lot more in English than he ever would in German. I actually think it's just that swear words don't seem so serious in a foreign language
Absolutely!thougt she said the same?have to listen again.think it is because different areas of your brain have to deal with swear words, in foreign languages more the rational half, in your mother tongue the emotional half, please excuse my horrible english
A lot of Americans swear a lot.
A whole seven minutes with a cheerful smile on your face - you'll never be a German.
MrSonofsonof :D
Since there are jumpcuts expect way much more deleted smiling scenes!
hahahaha... yes, so very true - as a "good German" you must frown :-D
😄
Man, the cashier thing must be haunting you in your dreams :D Have you tried putting the things back in the shopping cart and packing it afterwards?
Ast vom Baum just like most people do :)
Sounds like a very stressful event
not really :D you empty your shopping card, let the cashier scan it, in that time, you put it back in your card -> pay your stuff, and leave to your car / or to the areas where you can pack your groceries in a bag :D just logic thinking ...
Simmi0312 so funzt es :)
Even then you gotta be fast or the stuff piles up at the end of the conveyor belt... :)
"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." is among those sayings that sound nice, but are stupid. Often, the things most important to say are just not nice. it should rather say "If you don't have anything important or constructive to say, don't say anything at all."
Dschimmieh That's so German xD
I think exactly the same. I was really shocked when I first heard that many U.S. kids get taught: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
It seems to me very important to express frankly the own opinion.
that's why a lot of them go on a killing spree when they are older. Too many suppressed thoughts!!!
@toxic tongue as long as they apologize for the inconvenience caused
Its rather important to tell the truth, even if that hurts. Its also important to find the good words, just be direct and blunt may not be the best way... I like a bit more the Austrian version. More gentle, but finally comes to the point.
Well i don't know if the People in munich are rude. but in Hessen we do say Entschuldigung when we bump into someone. and we Do say Guten tag or hallo to the cashier. we are Not THAT impolite.
IceTPeach does that include Frankfurt?
Because in my experience, there is a certain "urban rudeness" in big cities. Which I actually quite enjoy.
Jesus Gonzalez Well ok Got me there. ... Frankfurt is it's own little Planet i'd say. maybe it's more of a country thing then
Franconian here and we also say Entschuldigung, Hallo and Tschüss. Maybe it's a big city thing because I also live in a rural area...
I think it depends on where you are. I live in a very small village near Munich and here everybody says sorry when bumping into each other. Everybody says hello to everyone walking in the street or when comming into a store. I think that is not common in bigger cities or villages. But I never had the situation, also in Munich, that anyone didnt sad sorry when bumping you.
IceTPeach I am living in a big city too. If we go to stores or somethinf like that we always say guten tag or hallo. And if we are bumping to other people we are saying entschuldigung too. But there is everywhere in the World people who doesn't say hello or sorry
Why is small talk so important for americans if they don't care about the problems of a stranger they have to talk to because they're buying something? Or do they really care? :D
For me, I think about what life was like when I worked behind a cash register, and I always had a much better day when people were friendly and chatty with me than I did on days when I got treated like a machine. I liked it when people talked to me then, so I usually try to talk to cashiers now.
I think it also speaks to valuing someone as more than just their job. If I see a friend, or am introduced to someone new, I am going to talk to them. When I do the same to a cashier, it tells them that I see them as a person, not just someone who is doing a job.
So I guess on some level, yes, I do really care.
greenpad Wow, thanks, never thought about this that way :)
I think sometimes people care and sometime people don't. The cashier saying "hi, how are you" and customer saying "good, you?" is pretty customary and thoughtless. it's more of a greeting than anything. But actual small talk can be fun when you connect with a person. I work at the library at my college campus, and I like both situations....I like when the person comes up and I check their books out and then I'm done and they leave. But I also like when they talk to me and we have a little conversation. Like if a fellow nursing major comes up, sees my notes on the table, and starts talking to me about the exam we have coming up, and we can bond over how we've barely studied and aren't ready for it at all. I'm fine/content with no small talk, but when I have a nice little conversation with somebody and I meet somebody who is nice to me, it makes me happy. I've had people (strangers) compliment my sweater/scarf before or my dress while I'm at work, and that is super sweet and always makes my day. They didn't have to do that, and they wouldn't have if they didn't truly mean it. Having no small talk is more efficient and less anxiety-ridden (I'm a bit terrified of small talk, to be honest), but having a good conversation via small talk has greater rewards if the conversation is a good one. I think most people don't think twice when they say the "hi, how are you?" but if they care enough to start an actual conversation with the person then yes, I do think they really care. Most people will stop after "hi, how are you?" "good, you" "good" if they didn't care. If they keep going, it's more than them just being polite. It's them truly taking an interest in your life and who you are.
this would never happen in germany and I struggle with social anxiety so I don't really mind :D
but also chatting over exams with someone you normally don't talk to seems so nice :)
I can see how Germans can say that small talk is pointless and a waste of time, but when I say, "Have a good day!" I do mean it. I've tried to teach myself to say, "I hope you are well" instead of "How are you?" because while I really do hope a stranger is well, I don't want to hear all about it if they are not. As for a useful function, I think small talk is good because if you decide you do want to actually get to know the person, you can use small talk as a gateway to more meaningful conversation. If you try to just start having a deep conversation with a stranger without starting with light conversation, you'll probably scare them off.
I ended up in an embarassing situation concerning "swear words". I was visiting a very Christian family and ended up saying something like "That is stupid." not insulting anyone, it was about something we were talking about. And immediately the kids said "You said stupid." and they told me that it's a bad word. I was so bewildered. The German equivalent doof is so harmless.
kadda1212 I wouldn't say stupid is the equivalent of doof. I'd rather say it's "dumb"
Jesus Gonzalez I would say stupid is used just like doof or blöd. Dumb as well. but I think it originally meant stumm. In BE it only means speechless. Only in AE it can also mean stupid.
kadda1212 I've never heard of either of them meaning speechless in any dialect of English
Kadda 1212 saying stupid is something the parents didn't want their children to repeat....they are little parots and would get into trouble at school for calling each other stupid. You can say something like, "I disagree with you."
You should have used "fucking retarded". The internet taught me this.
When I came back to Germany after a one-year stay in the US, at my first trip to the supermarket, I chit-chatted with the cashier for maybe a minute about how I'd just been to the US and was still getting used to German coins again. Only when I was leaving I noticed that a huge line had built up behind me. It was rather embarrassing.
That's the main reason for small talk. There isn't time for more than a little. :)
😄 I think it's polite to apologize after bumping into someone. I really don't know, why it's not that common here in germany. I always apologize. It's just a nicer way of living 😊
I mostly do a little guilty looking hand sign, as most don't care or even hear it. If the other person waits a bit longer (few morse seconds, I guess), I say "Tut mir Leid". Although if a person cares for it, they're often faster and say it, although I think that it wasn't really their fault, and then my answer is "Kein Problem".
I get the feeling that everything you mentioned is very European in general, and not just strictly German behaviour.
Well, as a german I agree with most of this. I never understood why smalltalk is such a big deal. And I have to admit I'm not really good at it^^ But I'm getting really upset when someone bumps into me and don't apologize! I thik this is really rude...
I used to be a cashier in the US and small talk was absolutely awesome. It helped your day pass by faster. You also didn't feel like you were some second class citizen that didn't deserve to be talked to. When you are waiting in line small talk helps pass the time. There are times when you just can't avoid waiting in line and making small talk is fun. Sometimes you pick up a life long friend. I picked up a life long friend waiting for my daughter to get through dance class. 25 years later we are still best friends.
Last year I went to England for the first time and I absolutely loved how courteous people were . It´s a wonderful feeling to be respected , to not be invisible to strangers and to actually be treated like a valuable human being. In Vienna for example you are often treated like as if you don´t even exist. And now I´m the one apologising to everybody when I´m out and about and I love every minute of it. Oh, the joys of courtesy.
Yes, Brits are very polite in everday's situation, *but* you also have to read between the lines.
Sometimes, when they are polite or having a super nice conversation, they often carry an undertone with it. If you bump into someone and they are smiling and say: "Sorry, that shouldn't have happened" (awkward grammar, but you get the point), they are basically saying: "You screwed up, too, buddy!".
I have the same thing in Finland. People here are blunt they do not do small talk they are just blunt and to the point.
I'm German, but I've lived in France all my life and only just started going to school in Germany 3yrs ago (I'm23 now). And these 3yrs have been enough for me to drop the habit of holding doors open for people. In France it's kind of a given that if you walk through a door and there's someone behind you (friend or stranger), you wait and hold the door open until they caught up and take the door from you. In Germany, if you hold a door open for a stranger and you're unlucky enough to be in a crowded place, you're going to stand there for a very long time, because people are just going to walk through instead of holding the door, thus letting you go...
Maybe try open the door and as the next person comes through, say "take it" (in German)? That's something I would do, even if I have to do it every single time.
The trick is that you have to let the door go when the person behind you is at the right point to not get crushed by the door while being able to pass through right after you or hold the door for the next person! It's all about timing :)
Gomi Bako, exactly!
Where I live in the U.S. we still hold doors open for people, but when I lived in Los Angles, people would look at me as if I was crazy, some even refused to enter unless I closed the door so they could open it themselves. Guess it's like the saying says "When in Rome, do like the Romans".
Trifler 500 See, that's the problem. You have to tell the person what to do; it's not his natural habit to be polite and helpful.
Can we all just agree Germany and the United States are culturally different and if you're going to visit another country you need to have a basic understanding of those differences?
Heather Ja...but that would end the conversation in the comment section. That would be ... rude! ^ ^
You didn't even say hello to the cashier? That's eben rude for german standards. We at least say hello, thanks, goodbye/have a nice day
Believe it or not, that is the extent to which most American interactions among customers and cashiers go. People are acting like we all have hour long chats about the weather with every cashier.
Uhm.. I never talk to cashiers.. but not because German's do that but rather because I'm shy :/
The last thing is just germans being rude. I am german, I was brought up to be polite. Many germans are really just very very rude. I stopped saying sorry most the time. I take a look at the person that bumped into me and decide then if that person actually deserves a sorry. Also, most of the time bumping into each other can be avoided. I'm always the stupid one that tries to move out of the way a bit thinking the other person would do the same. But they NEVER do. They just walk on rudely bumping into me. So it's really just germans being rude to others.
Actually germans adopted "sorry" (age < 40) or "pardon" (french pronunciation, all ages of enhanced education) as a quick mutual apology for smaller incidents (i.e. bumping into each other) and "Oh...Entschuldigung" is rather used when somebody is "harmed" or considerably disturbed by your actions OR you firmly want to get attention for your purposes. Of course there are grey areas depending on manners but it's very likely you'd hear a stressed out german shouting the following when trying to skip the line at the airport counter to catch his flight: "Sorry...mein Flug...danke...pardon...kann ich?... Danke...hallo könnte ich... sorry...Hallo?...ENTSCHULDIGUNG BITTE...danke..." :) :) :)
"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" - This is why mean and selfish people get away with their actions so often.
"All what evil needs is a good person, who doesn't do anything".
That's so apt for Germany.
When I was in Germany a few years ago, I would initiate a conversation with the few sentences I'd learned, then ask if the person spoke English. One time I was in a candy store in Garmisch and asked the clerk if she spoke English, not understanding her reply, I reiterated my question. At that point she abruptly retorted, "I was speaking English! Didn't you hear the first time?" I knew Germans were blunt, but I was unprepared for her answer. Feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I just turned around and walked out of the store.
Maybe you should've been blunt right back and told her her accent was so thick she was completely unintelligible.
Her behavior was rude, because she lost a potential sale.
I really couldn't live in America or Japan xD I have a really sensitive nose and hay fever for 11 months of the year so I have to blow my nose quite often and not being able to do so in public would be hell for me xD what are you supposed to do there if you have to blow your nose because it just keeps running? Go to the toilet and do it in private or something like that? That must look pretty dumb if I'd have to run to the toilet every 5 minutes or so then... But also on all the other things you mentioned I realize how much I appreciate the german ways xD
x3SayuriChan most a lot of Americans would understand if you needed to blow your nose lol. I guess it depends on the area you live. The social norm in my area, if ya gotta do it, do it, just try to turn your head away from other people. And don't shake hands right after lol
Personally, I'd rather have my opposite blow his nose once in a while, than chewing a gum with an open mouth. When people do that, I want to punch them right on the nose!!!
Both countries have their places where you can live a happy life as a sufferer from hay-fever ;) But yeah, I was thinking the same thing about blowing your nose in public.
Blowing your nose is perfectly fine in the US lol. Just don't be obnoxious about it and super loud. I have blown my nose in class all the time and it's not weird at all. It's annoying when people like my dad will blow their nose and it's like a honking horn or something....super loud and obnoxious. Just do it normally and you'll be fine :P
x3SayuriChan Just don't do it while others are eating. Excuse yourself if you must, but in general people would understand any other time :)
I've never seen a prettier video than this one!! And I really enjoyed it. It's just talking instead of me! Very good luck
Before watching the video I just have to say that your video quality is alway just amazing!!! I feel like you are sitting right in front of me :D
the most impolite thing IN THE WORLD is giving me a check at a restaurant without me asking for it, and happens only in the US. It's asking me to go right now and making me feel unwanted and not welcomed. It's like if I would visit someone and they would give me my jacket so I'll go. So I don't care if the waiter talks all the time to me, the check thing is just SO RUDE
Love this video and I can relate so much! When I was an Exchange student as a Teenager in the US people kept telling me how undiplomatic I was - I felt I was just being normal and honest, not impolite! It took me a while to accept those social differences. Laughed so hard at your beggar/cashier description!
I found it weird that americans say excuse me when they pass eachother in a supermarket aisle with looots of space for passing!
+partyof. 7 Oh that's true!! I forgot about the "excuse me" while passing in the supermarket. You're right, I do that too 😂 But for me it's not about the space, but rather I say excuse me if the person is searching for something on the shelf and I have to walk between them and what they're looking at 😃
Wanted Adventure yeah this would make sense to me. But people were constantly saying excuse me even though they were passing behind the other person and they were not disturbed at all! (Rural midwest -maybe that's the reason?) I remember when I first experienced this I was like "Hä? Why the heck did this person just say excuse me???" It didn't and still doesn't make any sense to me - other than being very polite (but in a way that just doesn't make sense to germans 😂) btw we live in the same city 😉
partyof. 7 I think, more likely than not, people are afraid of offending someone so they use a preemptive "excuse me". In Germany, if my cart is in the way, someone will just move it and say nothing. It doesn't bother me as it saves me from someone being upset that I didn't notice them. However, if you moved someone's cart in America, they are likely to tell you off. So, you often have to stand and glare, hoping the person feels you staring at them and moves, or you have to say, "excuse me". One time, I manoeuvred around someone without saying "excuse me," and the person went off on me! She said, "Bitch! You came so close to hitting me!" There was so much space between us and she was taking up much of the aisle socialising. It was ridiculous, but that is what can happen if you don't use the (unnecessary) "excuse me".
U r such a sweetheart! Dont ever change! Not may originals left in this world. Always a joy to watch your videos! Love the way you say whatever is in ur heart n how you say it makes me admire your sweet n genuine nature :)
this video cracked me up, especially the part about the grocery store!
Das Thema mit dem "Aneinanderstoßen" kenne ich nur zu gut. Ich entschuldige mich dabei immer! Mich regt es schon sehr auf, wenn andere diese Situation einfach ignorieren... Generell habe ich das Gefühl, dass die Deutschen teils sehr unhöflich sind.. So etwas wie "Entschuldigung", "Bitte" oder "Danke" scheinen für viele wirklich Fremdwörter zu sein...
I hate the blowing your nose thing... I don't like blowing my nose in class because everyone stops, turns, and stares at me, like they've never had a runny nose... it makes me uncomfortable and slightly angry.
Dana, I feel the Entschuldigung/sorry thing is more a city thing. I distinctly recall frequent and even recent events of at least one of the parties saying Entschuldigung, or both of us. Biggest town I lived in is Karlsruhe, bigger cities only like visiting every other week.
Thanx for the groceries bagging mention!! It took a while but i could enter the Olympics by now
I'm German and I'd say not greeting the cashier in a store is very impolite.
Also, not saying "sorry" after bumping into each other is rude.
Thanks to your first point I now wonder what people in the US do when they have a runny or stuffed nose if blowing your nose is considered rude.
That Germans tend to say nothing when they accidentally bump into someone irks me too. A smile and an apology should be common courtesy. I do it but I sometimes feel like I'm the only German who does.
tuschman168 don,t stop doing it!!
When I moved to the UK about four years ago, lots of things you mentioned also happened to me! So, I guess the UK is like a light entry level before going to the US. :D
I found it so weird when I moved here, that cashiers were sooooo slow. I realised that smalltalk was usual, so I adapted to that pretty quickly and do initiate it myself nowadays; but I still haven't gotten over why cashiers scan your stuf so slowly sometimes. I mean come on, I have places to be, and grocery store is not of them!
On the other hand I haven't noticed people not saying sorry when bumping into you. I'm from Northrhine-Wesphalia and people here are generally very polite, compared to the rest of Germany. So, someone bumps into each other, oftentimes, at least the "perp" will apologize with a germanized "Sorry!"
P.S: I love your videos!
I love the pig in the background on the shelf. It's so cute.
In Argentina it's common for people walking past you on the street to make eye contact without smiling or nodding or any kind of acknowledgement and not even attempt to avert their eyes. I felt so stared at the whole time I was there, but I started standing my own ground and holding my own, instead of averting my eyes like I used to in the States. But now that I've been back to the States for years, I find myself staring at other people with what is probably perceived as a "resting bitch face."
Argentines, like you describe Germans, are very blunt. Often they phrase requests or options as commands (such as "Turn off the light" or "Go take a bath" instead of "Could you turn off the light?" or "The bathroom is available now. You can go take a shower now if you'd like"). This paired with their tendency to represent themselves are extremely self-confident lead me to adopting much more self-confidence, so that I didn't get crushed by their ego bubbles--you have to push back and hold your own if you don't want to be walked over. While I was happy to finally have more self-confidence that I ever did in the States (I had grown up thinking that even objectively evaluating and stating your strengths was bragging), I realized when I came back to the States that I was coming across and arrogant and conceited.
Of course, all of this varies within the two countries, region by region and person by person (for example, I find that in Oregon when someone bumps into someone else both parties say sorry but in California if you bump into someone else and say sorry the person who got bumped into simply accepts your apology by saying "It's ok" or something like that. Which makes sense, why apologize if it wasn't your fault? Also, in the Northeast staring seems a little more common than out West and cashiers and servers are less smiley and are more to-the-point. A friend visiting from California felt like one of our servers just threw the check at us at one restaurant. And I've noticed even TSA agents out West are a little more friendly.)
That was so on point!!!!
My question for you is:
Does your head fit into your cup? 😳😱😳
No, I've tried ;~; Need a bigger cup next time...
LOVETMNT hahaaa I was thinking the same thing!!! Dana's cup looks like something you would give as a gag gift to a good friend, "I know how much you love coffee, so here ya go!"
SiroccoDream That's it xD
Very funny, and educational. Thanks.
I lived in Berlin, Germany from ages 7-18 and if I bumped into someone I usually said "Verzeihen Sie mich bitte" or "Entschuldigung", depending on the situation. I was taught to be polite by my father (American father, German mother).
I went to a school where we had both German and American kids ... kind of a pilot program ... so I became aware of differences while growing up already. I got my Highschool diploma and Abitur but chose to go to a US college rather than a German university. The Abi let me skip my freshman year. I noticed a huge difference in the education ... I was much better prepared than the American kids. Many of them used their freshman year to experience their first freedom away from home, party and drink too much. Alcohol isn't as much of a big deal in Germany because you can buy it legally at age 16 (but some places if you're big enough to put the money on the counter!) so the International transfer students actually were there to study and do well.
Sadly, in the US, due to sports ... many highschoolers are just pushed along into the next grade being great athletes who are nearly illiterate.
As a Belgian living in Ireland I really enjoy your videos, especially as I have lived in Germany for a long time as well, and have also noticed some differences between Germany, Ireland, Belgium and the Netherlands. You still have a very American style though, very over enthusiastic that Irish people struggle so much with. Irish people see it as insincere and fake, but for Americans it is just their natural way. I very much enjoyed your anecdote about the shopping. I still have to train my Irish girlfriend that when you're shopping you follow a certain route rather than just criss crossing and being things as you see them. I plan my route and know exactly where the products are that I need. I put the in the cart in such a way that putting the items in the proper order on the conveyor belt becomes easier. At the conveyor belt I usually ask the bewildered check out lady to wait until I have placed all my items on the belt, starting with the heaviest items and cans, non perishables, perishables and soft or fragile items. That way I can place the bags in the cart and once she starts scanning I can place all the heavy items at the bottom of bags and in the correct bag. It makes unpacking a lot easier at home as things that go into a certain cupboard are all in the same bag whereas all fridge things are in a separate bag, just like all frozen items. This makes packing and unpacking a lot easier and I don't need to grab and stuff. I place all items on the belt with the barcode facing the check out lady making the job easier for us both. This sounds very obsessive, and it drives me mad if people don't do it that way, but it is efficient and makes live a lot easier. In Ireland, like in the US, they often offer to pack your bags for you, but they then stuff everything in the bag in no particular order meaning you need a lot more bags and have fragile stuff at the bottom of the bag getting squashed. I always politely decline and give them a small tip, they often pack your bags for a small fee raising money for a good cause, and pack my linen bags myself. I always make very sure to say hi to the check out lady and goodbye and have a wee chat.
Jorgen Hartogs I LOVE your packing style! I also do the same and love to have all my refrigerated items in one crate (Klappbox) and the pantry items in the other. I also put all my heavy items on the belt first, and hate when they start scanning prior to me unpacking my cart. I've never thought to face the barcode a certain way. Interesting!
Exactly. We understand each other. I use klappboxes as well. Never knew it was the official word. I get absolutely mad when I see Irish people here throwing everything on the belt randomly and then run around the stores a few more times because they forgot something while the lady at the counter starts scanning already until she runs out of space so things pile up on both sides of her. They then just shove everything back into the shopping cart with no regard for things that might break, and I've seen things break a lot of times. They then have to pack everything again into bags when they have paid and spend a long time unpacking at home constantly running and opening and closing the fridge and the freezer each time they discover another item. It costs more time, more money, more things get broken....and it is frustrating. It is frustrating to me as well to be behind those disorganised people. I work as tourguide and my organisational skills come in handy as I'm never late for any appointments.
That's not rude - that's the sparkling, all-natural German way. :D
I'm from Austria and I always carry a tote bag with me for my groceries and I was wondering in the U.S would it be acceptable to ask if they could use my bag for the groceries to not waste a plastic or paper bag or even use no bag at all if I could fit the things in my backpack?
the bagging part is the best 😂🤣❤️
lol is the mug in the end as big as it seems?
Germany seems to be the only country where, when you go to a restaurant, you don't have to wait to be seated but can just go and sit wherever you want (depending on how many people there are and if many tables have a "reserved" sign). The first time I went to a restaurant in France with my family, we didn't know that the custom is different than in Germany and ended up offending the waitress, which of course wasn't our intention at all - we just didn't know better.
Nah, in higher quality restaurants you get seated in germany too. That really is just a different in class of the restaurant. As germany has a lot of cheap restaurants which are just a little above fast food level … you don't get seated in an dinner either.
No, that's quite common everywhere, I'd even say in most restaurants in France as well. Haven't been there in a while, but the 'wait to be seated' is typical american to me. Of course there are other restaurants everywhere, but they are not the majority.
I agree, I haven't lived in Germany in many years, but it was the same back then. There is a difference between going to the Wiener Wald and going to the Hotel Ritter 4 star restaurant. LOL.
i have a full on laughing fit omg AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA how funny was the story about that grocery store in the us with you speed packing your bags? :'D
THAT is a giant mug! HOLY! It's as big as your head!! :D where did you get it? i need it! :D
I consider any shopping trip to be an opportunity to interact with other humans, and I value that. For that reason, I avoid the checkout machines unless I can chat a little to the person overseeing them. I think that humans should avoid becoming like machines. We shop with machines, we go home and look at machines, and then we go to work and often work with machines. Not good in my opinion. And I am an engineer.
Somehow this gives the feel that we, the germans, are rude. For example @ 5:37: It really depends on the person. Most of my friends and I do say hello, bye, thanks etc to the cashier. Also I do not rush to pack my stuff. It is the persons fault if they get this feeling that you must rush. Just put your stuff abit aside and put it in your bags there. Should be alright if the person behind you have some space.
I often try to rush there, because I don't like the feeling that I keep people waiting especially when they seemed to be mad about it, but I also say hello and so on. It doesn't cost that much time to be polite and often there are people saying I don't have to rush, because they do have the time to wait. And sometimes the people like to have a little bit smalltalk, so for me it depends on the situation.
I think, I made it more complicate as it has to be xD Sorry for that.
I laughed about the bagging thing. Its truly a war of speed against the cashier here, yes. I totally feel victorious when I out-pace them. I've gotten really good at it, too, perfect placement of breakable vs heavy things and all. In fact, I put the stuff in the cart in such a way that the relative placement at the checkout is already perfect for bagging. Efficiency is paramount in this war :D I find it hilarious.
Wow that was one big coffee mug at the end of the bloopers!
Always nice to watch your videos! Sounds like we germans made you worse. :(
Can you think of some nice german habits you brought to the U.S. which surprises the people there? I hope you can find some! O.O
We made her more efficient.
Chris Thirst how many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
Because they're efficient and don't have humor.
Why do you need humor when changing a bulb? You want it changed not a slapstick interlude..
True.
+bluesiesangel - i think that was quite the humorous reply ;)
You sound aß if Germans are very inpolite compared to American. Might be partly true but you also have to consider that you are living in ab big city. In smaller villages people are mich more polite to each other.
I don't think she is saying that, but instead saying that the way a lot of Germans that she has interacted with come across as rude to Americans because of the cultural differences. The Germans aren't being rude, they're just being German.
I know but there is really a great difference between citis and countryside in Germany.
German autocorrect? ;)
:D
Eh, i disagree. I grew up on the Bavarian countryside and except for a "Hallo" or "Grüßgott" upon seeing someone you don't get much more friendly there, either.
how did you do your intro with the plane?
wow. your video content is always very interesting, especially for me as a german. keep it up! :)
Well, sometimes I hate the speed in grocery stores in Germany. They really rush, "time is money" - and yeah I would not want to waste much time with chit chat, however, a little more realaxtion sometimes would get me more calm and relaxed out of the store. Maybe a middle way would be good for Germany. Nobody has patience for much blah at the counter, but a lil more kindness and a little slower, I'd like it. Also, bumping into each other - yeah, I think we should say sorry more often. We don't (or only rarely) and I never really thought about it, but I'd actually like if we did.
The rest I wouldn't wanna change in Germany. Blowing nose is just relieving, you won't risk that it comes outta your nose uncontrolled right - stupid choice not to like that in public imo, makes people more comfy if they are allowed to do this (guess I should only speak for myself xD). Right to the point and also saying what you don't like, it makes conversation easier, less misunderstanding, easier to change something to the better - isn't it?! I feel Americans make their life harder being so polite not to speak their minds, afterall that won't make a change and they just keep their bad feelings inside - not good for soul. Searing - same. Ofc swearing in front of children is not accepted in Germany too by most people. However, if something e.g. at work just doesn't work out and you feel frustrated - let it out. It won't offend anyone because they know you just let steam off, it makes you feel better afterwards, and why wouldn't you want someone to feel that relief.
Are there things Americans do that you now consider weird/rude?
Jesus Gonzalez *clears throat, pulls out a list* lol
+Jesus Gonzalez
Korea, Vietnam, Cuba, countless countries in latin America, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, soon Iran and Russia, they all consider America very very rude. For good reason I'd say. =^.^=
Oh, was I too blunt?
@Orca Flotta Not blunt but brute to change the topic this way. Forcing others to let you have your way if they don't want to be impolite. I hope you are not german.
Orca Flotta I've been in Nicaragua for a year. That country has all the reasons in the world to hate Ronald Reagan, but I found the view if the US and its culture that people there have much more nuanced
Keep in mind the sort of Americans that tend to go to those countries though (except maybe South Korea). Lots of military, high ranking business people, criminals, rich tourists, dumb tourists, missionaries, some charities... not a lot of common folk.
Hey Dana,
I would like to use some of your Videos for a Videoprojekt. Is it okay? :)
Best wishes
Christian from Wermelskirchen, Nordrhein-Westfalen :)
A sociologist once told me that there is an actual scale
differentiating between the cultural habits.
He said that some cultures tend to emphasize human relations more, like politeness, taking your time etc.,
whereas other cultures tend to emphasize factual values more, like punctuality, productivity, exactness etc.
German culture tends to be pretty extremely on the latter side.
This explains quite a bit about our cultural habits imo.
What you call blunt, I - as a German - call truthful, direct.
Life is too short to waste on shallow smalltalk or not talking to the point.
Smalltalk is the opposite of empathy. If you eant to know someone - have a conversation. And there is also something like witty smalltalk, don!t forget.
Conversation is an art, smalltalk is just a cheap way to avoid and/or delay thoughtful conversation.
Small talk is a way of getting to the point of having that conversation, if we can't get passed "hi, how are you", that conversation will never happen.
I think everyone should be allowed to blow their nose whenever they need to. Just don't do it right into another person's face and you're good.
As someone who is ridiculously shy IRL, I really appreciate the fact that the cashiers at the supermarket don't try to talk me!
haha Dana I laughed so hard. Great video I like it =D. By the way do you really say " how are you? "to the cashier ?
I‘ld say: You adapted typical behavior of unpersonal, anonimous city life. Not typical for germany at all.
Fernwanderer So you say she'd be right at home in New York City?
I'm not familiar with NYC. But to say "Entschuldigung" when you bump into another person, or have a chat with the cashier might be uncommon in Munich or any other big city. But its not typical german behavior not to do so. Though i guess, people here in germany are less likely to "pretend" being nice and gentle.
Fernwanderer well I only know NYC from media depictions, but the city has a reputation of being rude.
I think that it's indeed 'city-typical' behaviour. In my town, only 18 km's from Amsterdam, you greet the busdriver when you enter the bus (entering the bus is only allowed at the front, just so you know) and say good .... whatevertimeofday.
That all goes down the drain when you are in Amsterdam and almost none greet the busdriver or conductor on the tram (most trams in Amsterdam board at the back, with a conductor sitting at the doors where you enter)
But, being the 'countryguy' I am, I do say hello or something and most of the times, they are completely surprised when that happens.
My experience that this is the same in Germany: the more smaller towns and villages we mostly went to when on a holiday there, had very polite and friendly people and going into the average store on a hot summer day could very well feel like they would open up the whole store for you (as certainly in the very small villages, a very small grocery-store with some basic needs is there, which doesn't attract such a crowd)
I visited NYC a few years ago and the people there were MUCH friendlier than here in Germany.
I am an American from New York City and my Opa was born in Germany. I have come to the realization that the NYC attitude is in some ways like the German one. A native New Yorker doesn't like to talk to strangers in public, is always blunt and direct, is always in a rush, and doesn't worry about offending people with our acerbic, vulgar vocabulary.
Hi Dana! We've watched your video in our English lesson. I often agree with you. I also think that German people usually don’t do a lot of small talk. But I made the experience that most people say sorry if they bump into you. I found it very interesting that blowing the nose is rude in the USA. Thank you for this helpful tip.
I noticed a woman at local business here in the US with an obvious German accent. I asked if she was from Germany and she said "yes." I asked where in Germany she was from and she told me. It was from an area near Bruchsal a town near where my grandmother's family was from and I pointed this out to her. The conversation was completely one sided. I was fascinated and interested and this woman who was waiting on me in this business was just not intetested in speaking with me at all. There were no other customers. I chalked it up to her being completely uninterested in most human beings and especially me. The cultural aspect never ocurred to me. I am no extrovert. I need a lit of alone time but I am a joyful person , very interested in other people's stories. I needed some information at a French touristic site last week. I happened to ask some Americans my question. I got a lengthy answer to my question, they asked my name and even shook my hand. They told me where they were from. We all wished eachother well. This feels right and I can't imagine the complete lack of curiosity the German woman in my town had about me. This is usually only the behavior you will find in very large cities in the US and even then there are plenty of friendly people too.
Was expecting the opposite of this, rude things Americans do in foreign countries. You probably already have a video like this?
yes! Dana, please make a video like this :)
Chris Fillmore I think American tourists are considered rude because they do things abroad that they wouldn't think proper at home either.
Same with German tourists
Jesus Gonzalez Auswärts ist man asozial
Devkey I think it was Kurt Tucholsky who said over eighty years ago "As a German abroad you always have to wonder 'do I have to be on my best behavior or have Germans visited this place already'"
:D
Aside from the bumping into folks, I always say sorry there. I think you'd have an easy time taking a trip to Denmark, we seem to be much like the Germans. At times it seems to me that Americans are hyper polite, and i must say I feel skeptical about people being this way, it some how comes off as disingenuous to me but it may be that i am wrong :-D
I totally get that it sounds fake and overly happy, but I never felt disingenuous engaging in that kind of conversation or smiling so much. I think most of the time for most Americans it feel completely natural and comes from a place of real interest or concern. :)
Yanqui I completely agree. All these Germans saying that simply smiling at someone and asking how their day is seeming forced and fake makes me think it's an entire country of people with trust issues. Is it so hard to believe someone might want to be nice to you? You poor baby!!
Molly Grace Well, it is not due to distrust, but just that we really are not interested in what perfect strangers think and we don't expect anyone else to give a hoot about us. That is not to say that we wish ill on others.
YanquiArgentinizado well, how about the platitudes of "how do you do" or "whats up" do you expect people to say anything else than "I am good" or "not much" or do you expect the person to explain in detail what is up or how they are doing?
yepp. i think there is always time for "Guten Tag", "Auf Wiedersehen" and of course "Entschuldigung". but everything beyond? i am just not bothering. i am not their friend or even married to this people.
I am a native German and when I started working in an American company, I had to learn a lot of things. Because in school they just teach you the language, but nothing more. So, writing emails and doing phone calls was hard for me in the beginning, because I was not able to do "chitchat". Nowadays I got much better with it. Two years ago I went to the US on a business trip and it really made me think about the way we live in Germany. In every restaurant we went, we had a nice conversation with the waitress/waiter. I would love to have that here in Germany as well. And also in the shops, everybody is so nice and they talk to you. Over here, we only would talk at the cash desk or if we are looking for help. In my opinion, people in America just are dealing with each other on much friendlier terms.
Coming from Bulgaria I also discovered some of these particularities. On the point of swearing - we swear much more back home, than people do in Germany - maybe this is our southern blood speaking. But I have also noticed, that when there is a girl/lady with a pram on the train/bus no one helps her with getting the pram in/out of the vehicle. Yesterday I was on the train - 10 men walked past the lady with the pram and then she struggled to get out of the train before the doors closed and nobody helped.
Living in America made me a rude German. In the states there is something like a politeness totalitarism. No matter how polite you are it's never enough.Example: in a hardware store an elderly woman blocked an aisle kneeling down and checking something in the lower shelf. After waiting about 30 seconds with my cart - she meanwhile had noticed me - I politely asked "Excude me, may I pass through here to the outdoor section?" Answer: "You could have waited" and about 20 angry pairs of eys on me.Obviously to expect some general manners from an old woman is a very rude Thing and makes me a blunt rude German.
What I was taught as a very young man in this situation is to either bend down and offer to help the lady find what she needed or go up another aisle to come around or come back to that point later. It's the same for reaching up to get an item out of reach of another as you pass them, picking up items dropped by a passers-by or holding a door open for a stranger.
Fair enough! Then I guess the stereotype of rude Germans is correct (from an american point of view).
We tend to treat women - no matter what age - as equal human beings and not as disabled kids.
Chivalry is often viewed as attempt to belittle women.
I guess that's our type of political correctness pitfall.
;)
It's not just women, though that was ingrained as a show of respect to our mothers. But also for the elderly, the disabled, children or anyone with, let's say, their hands are full. It's not a matter of looking at them as equals, lesser or betters, but rather as being a ready servant to anyone possibly in need for a moment. I wouldn't think twice about holding a door open for an Olympic weight lifter with an arm full of groceries and a his toddler at his side. How would that be considered offensive?
All agreed. All i wanted to point out is that nobody here would bother teaching you a lesson if they thought you don't comply to general politeness expectations. And I personally think that immediate social norm control is very rude in itself. Can't help.
As a bicultural American, I feel that German politeness is based on respect for other people and honesty; American social mores are more based on smiling and worrying about feelings. One is more profound while the other is more shallow.
Norman you hit it right on the nose ! absolutely true...
You hit the nail on the head. My thoughts exactly. :-)
Norman No, one is an essentially cheerful outlook; the other is an essentially rude outlook.
There is nothing "profound" about not caring if you offend other people. American manners are all about putting other people at ease, and to paraphrase the American playwright Tennessee Williams, cruel people always tell themselves that they are simply honest.
Richard Bostan Finally, the truth. Your comment should be posted on every single thread on RUclips where people maintain that being rude is being honest.
The deal with "Entschuldigung" has changed in urban Germany; in the 1980s, people often said "Entschuldigung", "Verzeihung" or "Darf ich mal durch"when passing too close or bumping into each other accidentally.
Can somebody tell me if it is possible for someone to learn the german language ( especially how to write in german ) in a year?
I am german and I always apologize and the opposite person does as well, when I bump accidently into somebody. I also think it's rude just going by without a word of excuse. Maybe it' s a regional issue. Or I suspect it has something to do with the situation you're in (crowded place, big city). That should not be.
On the other hand, that smalltalk thing is a bit odd to me, because you never know, if the person is really interested in you or just doing it for courtesy. That always has a flavour of dishonesty to me. But it shurely helps, getting in contact with a new circumstance.
I carry tissues, always have, it's a thing my mom taught us. I swear, like it or not LOL And I like to just get to the point, I don't enjoy small talk, it seems disingenuous. And that brings me to my next point, I'm blunt, my friends lovingly refer to it as my brutal honesty. And those who can get past my bluntness and really get to know me appreciate my honesty. They say it's refreshing. However many confuse my honesty for not caring what people think, but its quite the opposite. I just find it to be a characteristic of a genuine relationship, I DO care and that's why I'm honest in my words, good or bad. Staying quiet solves nothing and helps no one. And I bag my own stuff in a pattern of how I put it away at home, I love the efficiency of how I do it. I could get along fine in Germany 🇩🇪
Interesting video as always! I'm probably going to the us for the first time in may to my friends wedding in miami! I hope I'll remember all your politness tipps haha! Could you maybe make a video about the differences of a typical american and german wedding? Thanks Dana :)
lol the cashier thing cracked me up
politeness in america?
never noticed, really.
endofdays ! Then you were only in NY! 😉
Sissi die Auswanderin
no, Colorado, Florida and Idaho.
people here are too friendly, but has nothing to do with politeness, there is a big difference.
So true, friendly has nothing to do with politeness. Or honesty.
Wer freut sich auch so, dass Familie Bergmann bei Check24 so viel spart :D
Ich warte schon immer auf neue Clips. Ich kann es gar nicht erwarten, wie viel Geld die Bergmanns beim nächsten mal sparen. ^^
Die müssen ganz schön gut verdienen bei dem was die vorher alles gezahlt haben :D
Chris Valeske Die Werbung ist so cool (nicht)😂😂😂😂 wie die sprechen😂 man spürt wie sie sich in die Charaktere reinversetzen
Jenny Graf vor allem Mary :D
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
your attitude is so amazingly sweet :-) pls going on
That's basically how I bag my groceries as an American. I'll re the cashier's greeting, but then it's down to bagging. I also look for a lane without a bagger because I constantly have to rebag if someone else has done it and that makes me rage-quit worthy pissed.
She's cute
Yes she is pretty, but also interesting which is the important bit.
that's the only reason I am watching her xD
That's funny: What is considered blunt for Americans is considered honest for Germans. So yeah, we're not rude, we're just honest.
Today at Winn Dixie in the US I was packing really fast because the cashier was sliding it like it was a race or a full on sport and it felt different because I usually go really slow and they usually go slow. I had about 30 items to pack 😂
That's a huge cup 😍
When I was in New Zealand I was so excited, cause everyone said to me "save travels!" I thought they all cared about me pretty much!Then I realized it's just what you say when anyone is traveling along! 😂 Now I always use this term myself 😅
Living in NY taught me to get to the point really quick. That was a culture shock coming from the Midwest.
What you've said is true. Even vernacular is different. Double negatives are a normal thing in my new home, not so much where I grew up. I get odd looks and people like to "correct" my English when I visit family.
I suppose it really depends on where you're living. My experience in Munich was that there are much more impolite people on the street or in stores or so, too, compared to Hamburg or Düsseldorf. I always thought, everybody recognised me as a tourist or as an outsider (although I'm a native german but from North germany) and then automatically responded impolite to me just because of that. Especially in more rural regions in Bavaria, too. For the records: I always greet the cashier, I always wish them a nice evening/weekend or so (but not ask them how they're doing) and when I bump into somebody, I also say sorry (but not the other way round,though. then I expect the bumper to say sorry). But about Smalltalk you're totally right: nobody needs that here :D
BTW: the speed at the checkout line is due to the work contracts of some supermarkets. As far as I know, some cashiers will be reviewed and Kind of 'scored' , how many customers they are able to take care of in the shortest time. The best might get a bonus , the slowest might lose their job. Unfair but efficient.
(sorry for not perfect english :) )
I had my very own swear experience in New York, where i cemented the rude German rumor. Some years ago i visited the US with my girlfriend and our best friend. After a long over night flight from LA to NY with 2 times changing the planes. We had no sleep and when we arrived at the hotel it was just 10 in the morning. They told us, our rooms will be ready in 1 hour. So we walked around a bit, got a bite to eat etc. but it was raining and cold and we were all tired as hell. we came back at around 11.30. the rooms weren't ready yet, but the lobby was filling with people like us waiting. They told us it would take an other our. so we went off again, back into the cold rain. Back in the hotel, it was close to pm, the rooms still weren´t ready, so we took a seat in the now crowded lobby, everybody waiting. i don't know how long we sat there but at some point i had to ask again and the woman at the reception told me, it could take even an other hour. Well, I'm not not proud of it, but something snapped there and i said, in my even in normal times loud voice, the same thing i would have told a receptionist in Germany "I want my fucking room, fucking right now!" the reaction of the ppl there was quite not what I've expected. everyone in the lobby was quite and they all were looking at me. in the silence u only heard the CRY!! and the tears of the girl at the desk. The Manager came and was yelling at me and someone else wanted to hit me. I was so perplex that i got real quite. The end of the story was, that we all lost our room reservation for the next week and we all had to find a new hotel on the spot (quite hard in NY if you don't have unlimited money).
Here in Dresden we greet the cachier and the cachier always says have a nice day and then everyone says "thank you" but yes everyone is in a hurry to get home after work - small chats we mostly don't do.
I studied abroad in Berlin for four months in 2016, and I got used to never saying "bless you" / "Gesundheit." When I came back to the US, my family was so shocked at my "rude" behavior! I've been back in the US for about four months now...and I'm still not used to saying "bless you" as often as I used to.
I always need to think about you sucking at grocery shopping in Germany because of the speedy cashiers when I am in the checkout line at my local grocery store. xD
I have a frustrating experience. Not knowing where to begin or hitting a plateau can feel demoralizing and make it hard to hit the books and study like you know you should…Having friends from other cultures makes me more creative. In fresh ways about space and how people create their own world and environment. It is best way to connect between creative thinking and cross-cultural relationships