Still Single? This is What You’re Doing Wrong w/ Stephan Speaks
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- I got the honor of having a quality convo with my friend Stephan Labossiere-aka Stephan Speaks-who’s an author, speaker and certified relationship coach who helps people heal from their past trauma and improve ALL their relationships (including their relationship with God). We went deep into what men and women need to understand about each other, the right way to heal, and what it really means to be “high value.” I know this episode will encourage you guys!
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Hey, fam! I’m Anthony. I’m fired up about meeting you where you are in a real, relevant, and relatable way. Here on this RUclips channel, we’ll be having honest conversations about finding our authentic selves by living life based on spiritual, financial, and mental freedom. At the age of 19-homeless and deep in debt-I turned my life around by becoming debt-free, and I decided to spend the rest of my life helping people avoid the same money mistakes I made. Today, by the grace of God, that’s what I’m doing every day with AO Enterprise. You can rock with me on Instagram @AnthonyONeal or online at anthonyoneal.com.
Thanks for having me on man, it was a pleasure! ✊
Can you make a video about your opinion on age of getting into or finding a committed relationship? I am currently 35... an above average looking man.. in fact a made a career off of my looks for quite some time.. however, as you can imagine that lead me down the wrong path in life.. dating strippers, or rich women with issues... I got a degree in software but could never find a job, now recently I relocated back to Kansas and moved in with my mom to finish my BSN in nursing with plans on getting my doctorate.. I am graduated and have a job lined up but I just feel like I dropped the ball on the opportunity to find a wife lol.. but seriously.. my mom says I’m good.. that guys can find love much later than women and it’s ok... but I am concerned if I go to school for an additional 3 years how that will play out in my love life.. opinions? Thanks John
I want to start off by saying congrats on pursuing your nursing degree in addition to deciding to further your career. I also want to say how much I respect you as a man that is willingly open and trying to commit and find a wife, he who finds a wife is blessed and highly favored ! I wish you all the best ! I know the hard work with the nursing degree , I’m currently doing my FNP , just wanted to share some positive words your way , good luck !
Thank you so much for your content in it actually help me save my relationship from going down to a spiral so I really appreciate your contacts and everything you believe in God bless your brother
You very deep big dawg...I agree on your take about relationships.... keep up the good work.... much respect✊🏾
Thank you both for all the advice and support.
I truly feel like being single now, is actually a sign that we are choosing to do the work. Rather than get in a relationship broken and toxic expecting others to love the parts of us, that we don’t even love. Being single for me is intentional and the struggle is fighting my default of thinking I need to be in relationship or something is wrong. I've never been so happy with myself in my entire life as I've been these last 2.5 years of my single season. I know my Divine counterpart is gonna be as dope as me!
Edit 2023: I honestly am so grateful that a comment I made in my deepest season of healing and growth has been so well received. I focused on myself and my purpose and at the end of 2021 relocated out of the country, met my Divine Person while working doing something I absolutely love! I’m updating to remind y’all not to settle. Become the person you absolutely can’t live without and it’ll be reflected back to you 1000 fold. God and your Ancestors got you, I promise. Much unconditional love ❤️
Yes!! Everything you said was so on point. Im intentionally single & working on me! It’s been 6 years for me now & I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if I would’ve just rushed into relationships
Yes!..I am with you on this statement. 🙌🏾💜
yes sister no bonding in brokeness! Its toxic
True being single is not a sentence, it is a privilege. And it does not make you incomplete but complete, whole, not missing for lacking anything as along as you are willing to allow the Lord to do the work. Tfs
Everything said 💯 I haven’t watched the video, the title was upsetting...why would I feel like I’m doing something wrong if I’m single?
Facts most woman don't respect a man that's broke. We do Value a man that's trying. We admire a man with a Plan and Vision. 💯
"Everyone has value" amen to that.There are "gurus" on RUclips telling men and women that they have no value because they dont meet a certain worldly standard.Let's be the best version of ourselves and be good humans.We are all valuable in God's eyes.
Yesssss. Everyone has value!!
Amen to that!
Yes, we should start the prayer list with Kevin Samuels.
Exactly !
Amen!
"If the brother isn't financially stable and she is, you are a project to her that she has to mold" I can totally see that
If he's not financially stable, he shouldn't be dating. If neither is healed neither of them should be dating.
@@tanitrarobinson7477 Well said but nowadays these guys who aren't financially stable try to make you feel bad about wanting someone who is in the same place in life. They need to learn that wanting someone who is financially stable like you are isn't being a gold digger.
My mum has tried for 17 years, before giving up traumatised and bitter. My dad was way beneath her. She lacked self-esteem and thought that raising my dad would ensure his absolute loyalty. How wrong she was!
Honestly sometimes it’s not you! Sometimes the person your suppose to be with just isn’t ready! Sometimes it’s not you, sometimes it’s not the correct timing! I’ve healed from so much trauma did therapy for 6 years! I go out, i meet men who lie, who don’t know who they are, who have never figured themselves out, and who have no vision for their life! It’s super sad! But even talking to my brother he said he realizes there way more quality women than their mere are quality men! For me I guard my heart because so many men are just unprepared 🙃😐😩
Well said
PREACH!
THANK YOU! We’re quick to tell people you are what you attract or it’s about the man you chose. No! There really is a lack of qualified candidates.
For real!!! It's been like that for a long time. Very few men care about doing the work. Most men think that money is the only thing they should be bringing to the table and society is enforcing this idea and it's putting too much emotional labor on women to hold everything together in relationships and it's really hurting all of us.
Look at who you are picking?? 6yrs lies?? Facing..
Man, out the gate if AO can say that finding a mate is difficult with all of his success, we gotta realize as singles this generation definitely is up against some different things then our parents and grandparents were and we need some real prayers and work and faith to go with our relationships. Definitely taking this one to heart and seeing where I can grow and change from it...Thanks for sharing.
Hmm, I don't think that your generation is "up against some different things" but rather your expectations are not based in reality. I thank God that my generation (I'm 52) did not have social media when growing up. However, what we were told about graduating from university, buying the big house in the right neighborhood, climbing the corporate ladder= success....Nope. Society told us that this was success, we now know that it's not. Finding a mate for your generation, I feel, is about what your friends and Instagram thinks is successful.
I believe Instagram is a dangerous place to define success. Some people do things to get likes and approval from others based on what's trending at the moment. It's all about what looks good but we don't know what's going on behind the scenes and that relationship may not be all it appears to be.
@@j.flaner8506 I just have to point out, u disagreed that our generation is “up against some different things” then proceeded to explain one of the things we are up against. LMBO! And actually u are correct! (ie if I’m someone whose IG is based in reality & I start dating someone whose IG is clearly fiction/fantasy that’s a problem ur generation didn’t have to deal w/hence something we are up against among other things surround internet, technology, & the dating culture in general b/c everything is a lot different.
@@JustTooMuch10 Aww man, I just saw this! I agree. Guess we all got admit, each generation no matter which one is up against some things...
@@courtneybrack8306 lol absolutely!!
This brother was speaking truth! So many people have married people they never were supposed to be with out of immaturity and desperation.
Props to Stephan for properly presenting and critiquing the "High Value Man" criteria and not beating a straw man as some do. This is how we have a constructive dialogue.
"If you don't know where you're headed, you don't know who should be on that path with you." A word 👏🏽
The title got me like 🤔. I don’t understand why some ppl feel as if being single equals to that person doing something wrong. But I’m still going to listen...
Same! I hate the title! Like dang being single ain’t a curse sometimes it’s not you it’s just not time to be married.
jackie hill perry calls it the idolatry of marriage. it's rampant in churches and has spilled over and taken hold in our culture. i'm just starting this clip so i hope the content is more substantive than the title.
Facts people act like I have the plague because I'm single with no kids or that men are falling outta trees and I just haven't caught one that's falling 😂😂. I truly have done the work on myself and I continue to do so and I'm available and hopefully I'll meet a man that's available soon enough. Key word is "available " because not everybody that you meet is available in different aspects.
I agree. The single season is a blessing.
I had the same thought when I saw the title.
If you don't know where your headed, you don't know who needs to be on the path with you. 👏👏👏
Yep! When you become healthy you no longer desire unhealthy things whether it is financial, emotional, or physical. Put this on repeat if necessary.
I needed this 40 years ago. I’m a happy whole single today Hallelujah!!
She might not be broke if she's living at home...she might saving a nest egg, working on her wardrobe, educating herself! I live in los angeles where its so expensive in safe areas. Many women live with family.
Or she's taking care of or helping care for an ill parent. Living at home doesn't automatically mean being broke. Some of life's circumstances are definitely justifiable for people being where they are or aren't.
@@ashleygriffin6735 agree
Amen!!!
Yesss, I'm at home and I can afford to live on my own but I am trying to build up a decent savings.
A Man cannot get away with that kind of living arrangement. He’d better have the finished package or else.
22:45 has me chopping onions. There is nothing more hurtful than being invalidated. As a woman the most important thing is feeling safe in a man's presence and if I'm being dismissed it means I'm not tapping into that. Thank you for that affirmation
I can’t wait for Anthony to meet his wife ! Definitely praying for God to send the right woman ! Marriage is a beautiful thing and single isn’t a curse! Keep looking she is out there and she won’t want you to take her to a $500 restaurant 🥴
On paper that sounds nice. Yet in the real world it’s a jungle.
"You're marrying the WRONG person for the WRONG reason" that will preach all by itself ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️👏👏
People need to share this on all their social media platforms... this was a gem and very timely! 👊 😎
I agree!!!!
Yaaasss
Right
If you want a relationship u be wise to get rid of your social media it’s poison unless it’s business based your one foot in the dating pool one foot out
Don't quickly merge into the traffic of dating and make a destructive collision more likely. Flow into it patiently, gracefully, and be safe in your relationship lane. Let Christ be your navigational system for the best destination
This is beautiful
Amen!
Amen👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 that’s a word right there
Amen
Mannnn that segment on logical vs emotional spoke to me. It's a struggle.
Thank you Anthony and Stephan for sharing. I have a beautiful, Christian daughter who has a degree and a good job. She is debt free. Her father and I teach Dave Ramsey FPU. She would love to have a husband and family, but she is in the waiting room where God is shaping her. I pray for the man who is out there somewhere. I pray for her to be sent God’s man for her life.
haha you sound like my mother!! love it- blessings to you and your family
@Denise McKinney Beautiful testimony!! 🥰
Wow you are a wonderful mother!!!! That was a beautiful prayer for and over your daughters life!
I just really appreciate the slew of black men that have been on the show 😭 So good to see this mutual trust, respect, wisdom, humor, and humility! This is a new black culture and I’m here for all of it! 👏🏽
Yyaaaaaaazzzzzz 😊
I listened to this guy for awhile years ago...and then found out he didn't have a relationship was never married....and I was like Oh know...I used to know it all too!!
I’m on minute 31, and I am very impressed with this. I’ve never seen these men before, but am really delighted to see black men talking like this! If every black person in America had this level of seriousness in life, we would be the envy of the nation!!!
It is so beautiful to see black men talking like this!!! Thank you, Lord Jesus! I just hope the entire video is as good as the first!
I literally cried watching this because there's men out here who get it. Like, WOW you understand exactly what I feel. That was one of the biggest problems with my ex. He was soooo dimissive of my feelings. Most of the feelins I expressed was labeled as "being dramatic". I began to question myself, like so I cannot voice my concerns??? If we cannot openly express our concerns there's mo point of being in the relationship. Thank you for the great content as always!!!
I don't think I've EVER seen AO laugh so genuinely hard lol. That was a "bruh you wild'n" laugh 😂
I'm LOVING Anthony's vulnerability and self awareness. Great Convo.
There’s a lot hurt men and the source of that hurt is usually their mothers
A toxic mother is worse than an absent father.
I met this BEAUTIFULLLLLL brother inside and out. We had SO MUCH in common, so much! Unfortunately he had unresolved emotional traumas that were effecting our friendship. His mother damaged his spirit as a child, it was so unfortunate and sad.
Still miss his spirit but had to let it go for the sake of my peace and focus.
Agreed!!!!
@@choosewisely6705 I experienced the same thing, its such a shame.
Say that! Girl say it again for the people in the back!!!!
Whoooo lord ! Finally , Stephan really saying what a lot of women want men to UNDERSTAND . Just because you don’t understand what she is bringing to your attention doesn’t mean it wrong and that u should dismiss it !Your logic is NOT the the final VERDICT.Lawd have mercy
In the New Testament God says for husbands to dwell with their wives with understanding. Around the 25 minute mark when they talk about a woman needing to feel heard by her man and for him to not dismiss what she is saying because it’s based on her emotions I kept thinking of that scripture.
@Ardent Amateur. Wasn’t that beautiful??!!?? 🥰
I'm just waiting for Anthony to be a meme because the little reactions he has are so funny!
Fr. 😂
He brought life and comedic relief to the interview while still acknowledging that he has work to do in his own life! Made me a subscriber. 👊 😎
@ Queen J
IKR! I love it 🥰!
@@MrDJCue even lickers need healing
...I wish we had 2 hours too!! This was excellent.
1. HEAL
2. KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING
3. REAL AND SPIRITUAL
This episode confirmed that I am on the right path. I can expound...but!!! Thank you fellas! ❤ Bravo to you both!
I did it! Thank you Anthony!!
So true🎉
Yes. Financial status is not the only way to find a man. As a woman, I have respected and loved my husband for 38 years. He is a man who is a God chaser and the spiritual leader of our home. I pray for my adult children to find that God chaser for their life.
I literally shed tears the moment Stephan said to write down all the people that hurt me and write them a letter ☹️
I'm 24 mins in... I respect these guys and their life's work. As a single woman who is contemplative about my theology, self-care, and desire for a future partner, I wish these men would address their SINGLENESS stories first in broaching this topic since the title is what it is. "Still single" assumes a negative and can be triggering.
Jesus Christ!! This felt like a whole sermon! Thanks Stephan
dont the Lord's name in vain
Thank you Stephan, FOR EXPLAINING the explicit details OF the "HIGH VALUE" individual.
MOST TIMES people ONLY CARE ABOUT the financial aspect.
Also I want add there is PURPOSE in your singleness♥️don’t let society make you feel like something is wrong with you. Yes work on your issues. But I lm a firm believer there is Purpose for this single season I’m in right now🙏🏽
HEALTHY. This conversation is everything everyone needs. The talking points were pure perfection. Thank you kings.
Listen!!!! His book “Love After Heartbreak” changed my life!!! While going to therapy in combination with his book and actually getting to the root of the trauma from the past is what changed my mindset as to how I showed up in ALL of my relationships! Great dialogue.
am 25 never been in a relationship...Awakening happened when i was nearing 24..many questions about myself, breakdowns to breakdowns, etrc. am just so glad i have found u guys here in youtube..because what i need is healing. I got to heal my childhood traumas and am glad im more aware now of myself...i just want to be a good partner if God permits...as of now, im more on building myself like my whole self. Good thing i trust my guts and intuition and tho my friends, relatives, the society are kinda putting pressure on me. am proud of myself that I have this gift of discernment...I know that i am guided.
An hour show! Praise ye the LORD! Keep this same energy AO, we are here for it!
You liked the hour show?
@@anthonyoneal Yessssss! I loved the different perspective of the guest. I brought the conversation to my friend as we are both career focused women and even she was like their was some nuggets that were really good points and observations. I would love to see more of these hour shows! I am here for it and appreciate how intentional you are with the guest you have on your show.
@@anthonyoneal YES! Can you please keep it going
@@anthonyoneal Hour-long shows work good for particular guests adept with particular topics. Bring this guy back for another one!
@@anthonyoneal the longer the better. You have a platform and people want to hear. The demand is there!
Anthony O'Neal Your laughing and reactions to Stephen's wisdom was killing me.
😂😂😂
Being single has taught me a lot about myself and it also showed me things I like and disliked about myself also I didn't like the person that I was becoming. So being single has really helped me take the time needed to get to know myself again (if that makes sense) and I can truly say that I'm not who or what I used to be but I absolutely love the woman that I've become. Sure I want a relationship with someone but right now my happiness and freedom is at a all time high and I've never been happier doing things I never had the chance to experience. This was a great conversation💪🏾
Beautiful monologue
I just don’t like the term high value man and woman! People who describe themselves as such turn me off
I definitely agree....and I think honestly it's just a trend right now.
@@MahaliaA it’s definitely a trend!!!Also I see plenty of women saying they want a high value man but by definition they are not a high value woman 🙃 and vice versa! I will say I hear more women wanting this than I do men! What interesting times
Right, I remember the first time I heard that term, money was not what came to my mind, and still knowing what it refers to when I hear talking about high value men, based on what they have its really annoying, I feel sorry for people who thinks that based on the money you have is what measures your value.
@@carolinamontano3359 I’m going to start asking people what their definition of a high value man is before I respond
@@andreanicole5353 I think its based on the tangible and then I had to remind myself that some ppl see relationships and marriage as a transaction. So for some...this way of thinking makes perfect sense. 😑🥴
Great interview, from beginning the end. Thank you for debunking the term "high-value man" because not all women think that way because value doesn't equal character or integrity. Again, great conversation. Money can give access, but cannot give character.
On paper than sounds nice. In the real world the bag is a large part of the requirement of many women.
Monetary value at that!
I think there is value in the lesson that comes with wanting a "high value man" and being a "high value man" and vice versa. Which is, hey, if you want a certain kind of person in your life, then there are things that you will need to compromise and alter about yourself. In a world that tells women, men have to accept you as you are and if he doesn't he can walk, these ideas of high value, can teach the humility of having to compromise and meet someone where they need too. And it's not just about you and what you want out of a partner. But yes, value is culmination of more aspects either than just monetary value.
@@trw4war322 Women want men who can provide especially if they plan on having kids. That doesn't mean 6 figures. Provision includes financial security but it doesn't mean a certain amount. It means you have insurance, you may invest, you have a plan. Men without a personality or emotional intelligence choose women who like them for money because it lessens the amount of work he has to do to keep that woman interested.
This segment was fire. Don't date when your broke
It's people not broke but can't get a date.
I'm broke so I don't date. I just have Netflix and chill
@@genovasquez8361you are overcoming financial challenges and living your best life. Proud of you.❤Praying for your continual success and wealth.
Graduate school has me in debt but rich.😅 I can not explain it. I feel blessed to learn in a field that I love (public health) and where job opportunities are plentiful. I am in my season of prosperity and peace. I am not where I want to be at 40, but To God Be The Glory, I am here; still standing. Broken in spirit but Mended in spirituality.
It’s truly hard to heal fully. Grief is a part of life cycles. I think as we get older it’s important for people to understand that we are not perfect people we are a growing and learning person. We all have flaws and some of us are actually working everyday on ourselves. Reading, working out, eating healthy, praying, believing in God for our paths....We still fall short. Relationships take two people that are willing and want to do the work.... Awesome Interview!!!
We need to get Tony Gaskins on here!
TG crazy 😜 but he keeps it real 💯
I believe Tony will break it DOWN MORE 👀👁JS 🤗
I listened to this last night and he said some really deep things that hit me really hard. The part about hiding behind career and God. This was timely...I'm making my list today and asking God for healing
Thisssss was powerful! I did this for years.
He was clearly aiming that at women when he should have focused on men since he is a single man himself. Mostly women are in church. Men tend to be at bars, the basketball court or the barbershop.
@@filmadcamp1512 most of his posts and videos are geared towards women. Most relationship coaches tend to speak to women because we are their audience. 🤷🏾♀️. If he does videos and talks to men lower response rate.
@@MsSunrize81 I realize that with anything relationship-based, therapy-based or even family-based there are loads of black women following and supporting and trying to learn how to be "good women". But that's the problem.... since men are supposed to be leaders. Black men generally aren't interested in being better in relationships so women end up sacrificing themselves in the relationship or carrying most of the weight because men feel they don't have to work at it. The woman should be happy just to have him.
But let a content creator start demeaning black women and loads of black men head there in droves. The balance is off. I still say these dudes who "have it together" need to mentor these ashy single men.
@@filmadcamp1512 🤭🤭🤭 I am speechless you have said what I have stated to my friends several times! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. I HEAR YOU SIS
Many relationship coaches these days feel like they’re running a shtick. Preaching the same general “tips” and not really leading by example ie in healthy marriages. Also seems to be male dominated. Insert... Steve Harvey, Derrick Jaxn, and so on. Would love to see married couples in these roles as relationship coaches. People who can minister from a place of experience past and present, and can also lead by example. Just a thought.
Tony Gaskins
RC Blake's and Toni Gaskins
So true.
Yea bc both AO and Stephan are single...how do they know what they are talking about with this topic? 😆
Good point MsRita and worthy to take into consideration. I agree! I equate it to taking diet and exercise advice from someone who is unhealthy and overweight. It’s obvious they are “not living” what they say or suggest to you. That being said I would seek out married couples that you know who will be open and honest and transparent as they are your best point of reference. As others have stated, Bishop RC Blake is a God send! Tony Gaskins is married and speaks from the place of “a former playa or ladies man.”
God can redeem ANYONE! There’s also Rebecca Lynn Pope if you looking for a female and her husband Kerry Pope and last but not at all least there is Ashley Empowers and Carrington Brown, now these two are definitely a TRUE POWERHOUSE couple in the realm or space of love, marriage and relationships. Please check these people out. Seek and you shall find. God bless.
I did it! Made my list, even bought Stephan’s book and completing his full steps! Prayed over my list and letters and taking the steps necessary to be made whole! Truly loved and enjoyed this episode AO
Thank you for clarifying that it’s PEOPLE not building on the right path, rather than women or men specifically.
This was a GREAT interview!! Stephan was RIGHT about you looking at a man as a child if she was financially stable. Soooooo many gems were dropped here!
I had someone ask me "Who do you need to forgive?". I named an ex that hurt me. He told me "No, You need to forgive yourself".
Wow that spoke to me!
Yes, im in the process of forgiving myself!
I appreciate Anthony's vulnerability and transparency..."I am not healed!" And yes, Mother's issues are REAL! Please have this man do a monthly segment b/c I needed this message!
I love to watch men speak on greatness 🥰😍
So true! So much of what Stephan Speaks talked about (acknowledging and releasing negative emotions from my BODY) and addressing family imprints (all of those negative things I learned from my parents) positioned me to get married. It took a lot of work, and I am still a work in progress, but the practice of regularly working on MY sh*t) keeps me in a healthy, fulfilling marriage. I never thought I would get married. Marriage TERRIFIED me, and I am so glad my husband and I addressed our fears and DID the thang! (15 years and counting!) Stephan speaks TRUTH! We “balance” each other. HOO LAWD, you betta PREACH!
Anthony's roars of laughter are giving me jokes😂😂😂.
@Bim Oyediran IKR!!! It’s refreshing! It’s so wonderful to see black men handling business the right way and enjoying themselves!
I have watched tens of Stephan's podcasts and video clips but i confess this one is DIFFERENT. DEEP. INSIGHTFUL.
I treasure a relationship where im heard, my concerns are understood. When my feelings or concerns are belittled trivialised and dismissed, it hurts. All i desire right now is for a partner who will be patient enough to LISTEN. Until then, i will work on my rough edges and God's purpose for my life.
Thank you Stephan. 👌
This is great conversation. Being a single man wanting to date, I can respect what he is talking about. I have two jobs, and I'm not broke but I am still not where I want be at this time. So until I get there I'll wait to start dating. I know I have a lot to offer, just can't offer it right now.
Wow amen 🙏
You have to wait till you get to where you want to go just to date!? I can respect that. But be forewarned when you get what you want dating is just as nightmarish wether you have a lot to offer or not. Women say they want this and will choose the exact opposite.
I hope you get to where you want to be.
Money isn't everything and plenty of wonderful women will help you build and add loving support and companionship as you get there. In fact, many women will offer that AND be building for the future herself and you can join forces and reach even bigger heights as a team.
Outside of work what other aspects of yourself are you working on? Are you reading books about relationships, getting therapy, doing hands-on charity work, etc
Anthony your such a humble brother. I wish there were more men like you. You have never put another men down because of where they are. You recognized where you came from 👏🏾 Keep it up.
If I had seen this 3 years ago I would not have dated the man I recently separated from. I have made the list and was not aware that my mom had to be added to this list. I automatically added my dad because he knew I existed. He met me at 9 months and at age 4 but didn't reach out to me until I was 19. I now realize that my trauma started with her. The healing continues. Thank you
I literally told my friends yesterday that I want to start dating again. I haven't dated in almost 6 years for various reasons. An although I have been doing some work, I haven't done enough to end up with the RIGHT PERSON. I am not going to rid myself of the idea of dating because it took a while to break down my prison ( aka the walls) to come back around to this idea. Alternatively, I am going to rework my vision (relational, financial etc.) write that who hurt me list ( maybe 2 or 3 letters), focus more on self love, healing, and buy the book. Man, The Table w/ AO has been hitting on every level lately!
Nailed it in the first few minutes when he broke down how people are mismatching and how women are detaching to pursue what they think they need to do to not be reliant on a man. I have to cheer for that! It's so true. And this episode JUST GOT BETTER from there. Healing....!!!! I love you guys. Thank you for speaking openly and honestly. This is so aluable!
You peeped the game right there,and it is so subtle that it is not often nor easily seen. As a result it is not accepted without a struggle,which is where adversity comes in play to the role of awakening to self awareness, that is not easily overcome without conscientious healing, that's self willed.
That is basically building on a faulty foundation,which can never endure and is not sustainable,cuz it is not constructed on a Godconcept and good faith.
But on premise of fear, lack and scarcity mindset.
Stephan is truly preaching. This is gold and God has been saying this to me consistently. And this is confirmation, so thank you so much Anthony and Stephan 🌻
And this is why I say “Come healed, or don’t come at all”.
I can’t help but to honestly admire AO’s vulnerability. It’s refreshing. A man can still be a man, without always have to hide/cover his true feelings.
Stephan told no lies. As a woman dating a man for his “potential” or a man whom you have to build up, you’re never honestly going to respect that man. Plus you’re enabling his behavior, and he might start to think he doesn’t need to elevate in any type of way. He already got you, so in his mind he might not feel the need to build himself up if you have already chose to accept him as he is.
The logical vs emotional breakdown was good. I have to do better with this.
A woman has a purpose outside of being a wife and a mother. What he said wasn’t spiritual it was his perspective. To say a woman is out of the will of God (“her foundation isn’t built on God”) for her life if she isn’t married with children is to reduce and marginalized her. What was shared was more “I’m the man in this household!” because I’m treated subhuman outside of the household influenced than based on a solid biblical foundation.
When I saw these two together, I knew this episode would be good. 👍😀💯
Stephen is the wisest male relationship coach of the dozens I’ve come across. Not completely easy to accept the things he suggests. But so much is good and wise.
Stephan: “You hide behind your work and hide behind God”
Me: *falls out because I’ve done this for years* 🥴🥴🥴🥴
Ohhhh finally somebody understands it! I'm a woman and it is so frustrating to even start a relationship with a man that doesn't know what direction he is going to. They have no expectations, no plans, no goals when it comes to romantic relationships!!! They just want to go with the flow and whatever the result is they are ok with it. Noo! That is so unattractive! I instantly get turn off from these men no matter how good looking or professional they are. That attitude tells a lot about a future "husband ." A woman needs to know this: if you decide to stay with these type of man, YOU, only you will be the leader of the house because he is just a man without vision,purpose,drives,goals, and commitment...RUN
I love Stephan Speaks. His books and RUclips content are changing my life. I so appreciate all of the hard work you brothers are doing. To God be the Glory for you both. ❤️
your current life is a reflection of your current vibration. there is nothing more important than to work on oneself and everything else will follow
This AO was the best! I did it. There is a lot of work to be done, But God will help.
Powerful message!💯❤️
I Love this video!
Writing a list does help!
Many years ago I wrote my list… I added God & myself to the list too. I know I’m not perfect & I will never be perfect. My disobedience to God & choosing my own path lead me with heartbreak, disappointments & hurt.
Instead of pointing fingers at others who wronged me, I prayed & ask God, what do I need to work on in my own life.
Christ shined some light on some things that I didn’t realize I needed to work on in my life.
Thank the Lord He brought me out of my misery, gave me peace & healed me from my pain.
AO, I’m so glad you brought in Stephan. This is my guy!!!!! Both my guys together, yes!!!!!! Thank you gentlemen ❤️💕❤️💕👍🏾👍🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
@ 25:30 I've heard him explain this on other shows before, and I agree to an extent.
Yes Women are less logical than Men, but it does both ways...Women have to also understand that your Man's logical side is not something that should be dismissed and should be heard and understood as well.
I just discovered a man ( spell caster ) that can help anyone to restore a broken relationship or win any court case ...he is very powerful .write me with my gmail above for his contact .
This is a message that everyone should be listening too. Single or not! There were so many great gems dropped here! We have to learn to first “acknowledge” our ourselves in our singleness, and work from there. It will then create an authentic relationship that is honoring to God.
So true Sedricka so true!
that’s why i always say if a person doesn’t have their own , how do u know they are with you for you, not for other reasons to help them and their cause.
MY GOD! The amount of times I lost my breath and clinched my pearls in this show. Oooh this was so good!!
Let’s JUST say, Stephan UNDERSTOOD the ASSIGNMENT & GRADUATED!
Continue to pray for the one who should be in your life.
-Yes!
Omg Stephan AND Anthony together?!!??! Yes please!!! ❤️❤️
A very insightful convo, AO. One of my favorite that I've heard lately. Also, I just graduated with my Debt Free Degree! Class of 2021!
So THANK YOU for all you do, by getting the word out and educating people like myself. Many Blessings!
@Ali aha CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Yes you are! Preach Stephan! A woman has to feel like she can look up to a man in some way in order to respect him.
Your platform has done a great job showcasing black content creators and giving them a further platform for a positive message. Thanks AO!
💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️
This is one of my favorite interviews because both men are not only intelligent, but clearly spiritual, humble and both want the absolute best for others. That is love.
I absolutely LOVE THE BOTH OF YOU, so to see you both speaking on this topic was a double treat!!! Thank you!!!!
I’ve been a fan of Stephan Speaks for a long time. His words are very relevant with both men and women.
Off topic, but I faithfully watch your ads because you've given me so much knowledge and wisdom on my debt-free journey. Between me, you, and the lamp post, you're my favorite co-host on the Dave Ramsey podcast 🙌🏾. Thank you for all you do! 💯
On topic, Stephan gives great advice, as well. I've been on his text list for a while. Stephan, thank you for your wisdom & encouragement. 💯
Dad bods are comfy for cuddles. A good snuggle is a very important thing for a lot of us ladies
OMG!!! “ He said when a man has had his balls chopped off multiple times, he will try to reattach his balls at the wrong time!” 😂😂😂😂😂 I hollered!!😂😂😂
That’s a lot of pain. Let me tell you. 😳😳😳
@@trw4war322 😂😂😂😂
6min in and I want to throw my phone against the wall. Geeeezzzz Thanks gentlemen.
Well done bruthas on this discussion 💯I feel like I’ve done the “Who hurt me list” before but I’m going to revisit and write that again. I’m in a place of waiting for my King to find me. In this time of singleness I have legit been WORKING on me in all aspects!!!! It literally has been just me & God through this Pandemic & he’s been showing me some Incredible things about myself, my past hurt & what I had to heal from, what I need to be doing now and where I’m headed!!!
Stephan thank you for accurately defining high value men. High value does not equal good character and good character means more to me than a man with a whole lot of money.
@stefanspeaks just said exactly what I've tried to convey in past relationships. I honestly am blown away that he understands women on this level and can relate. A lot of times I tried to have certain, serious conversations with my ex only to feel dismissed and belittled. I wanted to have open communication and be vulnerable, but often couldn't because of the lack of communication. Great EPISODE!!!
This is one of the THE BEST videos on relationships. I am 57 and recently returned from spending a month at a Christian refuge. Making the list of those who hurt you and what they did was one of the things I was to do. Listen to them. Write this journal, of the hurts. It is a great start on the road to healing. Get the book. Do the work. It is worth it. YOU are worth it. Otherwise you WILL carry this into your marriage and/or other relationships. I know, I’ve been carrying my pain for over 50 years and it’s been continually endangering my marriage and family for the last 36 years.