You could be an amazing therapist! In the first session you manage to bring out emotions and connect like this. No one who passes by that couch continues to be a stranger. Congratulations!
I’m an ooooold Fem lesbian ( came out in 1973) and just love these episodes. I relate to so many of these conversations- it’s amazing. Mal-- you are a wonderful interviewer…..you are where you should be. Congratulations on your success in doing such great work for our community….and society in general.
It's hard seeing the effect of negative messaging had not just on Stacy but all of us in the LGBTQ+ community while growing up. The enthesis on how being gay can ruin your life or at least make it harder, is although partly true, needs to be counterbalanced by all the positives of being true to yourself. Life can be harsh no matter who you are, so at least be your authentic self and then see how life unfolds. Although I grew up in a loving family it was clear to me at an early age that their was boundaries and I was going to have to hide part of myself to live withing the social circles of family & friends. We've got to get the message out there even more so in these awful times that it is ok to be different, to be who you want & love who you want. Mad it Out is certainly one of those resources that is going to help LGBTQ+ kids learn to navigate this world. x
Rewatching cause this was a great conversation. I'm realizing the reason Stacy and I'm sure others may feel the 'queer' label feels heavy is because queer people had to and continue to fight for equal rights (because we have to) so innately it becomes a political statement. *Side note*: I still cant believe Mal went on Craigslist at 15 to find women.😧That was so dangerous.
I agree, but I’m hopeful she’s freeing herself. I had a whole 48 years as a man, and about half of them as a Republican. It took me all those years to go from being drawn to - but running away from anything feminine - to being a “cross dresser” (it was bad times), identifying as gender-fluid to identifying as trans, to transitioning. There are very few true “lightbulb” moments. Usually it’s more like a lot of lighting bugs flickering in and out til dawn breaks.
So hard. I felt irked about the queer community being there for her, as we always are, and feeling like she wouldn't be there for us. Also thinking about her future self looking back on this and realizing how off she was, how afraid, how hurtful her politics and way of conversing about sexuality is to queer and oppressed people everywhere. Hoping for future Stacy.
One of my favorite videos! I can completely relate to not wanting a label because it makes you feel like a “ failure “ to ppl especially family. I still struggle to say I’m “ gay “ I just say “ I like girls” . It’s wild but I’m glad I’m not alone. ❤
This one was a difficult one to follow for me, first one until now I'm sure it will resonate with some demographic, people who identify themselves with Stacy's upbringing and situation, and that's good for what it is. I guess she has a lot to reflect on still, therapy (with maybe a good queer therapist) will help her out idk Anyway Mal kudos to you because you have a natural way of cultivating a good flow in conversation, whatever the circumstances are Impressive social intelligence Team Made It Out, keep doing the good work 💪
100% agree. As a women who is also from Texas and came out in my hometown in my late 20s, I totally get navigating the traditional mindset. You could tell she is in a place of really finding the words and inner confidence to just be and who in her truth. It takes time for sure, and it's been a long time since I've been in spaces that are 'straight laced". I found myself getting annoyed by the references to men. 😆But I also extend all the grace to her because it can be challenging, especially when you're living in the same place. Mal always rocks an interview though which was amazing to witness!
Im from the south, and from my experience, it is rare to hear conversation topics in such a casual manner, Thanks to this podcast, it's soothing to find comfort in my identity and not feel like Im from a diff planet. ✌️
The stereotypical cheerleader conversation just emphasizes the importance of representation. If Brittany and Santana from Glee were shown earlier in our lives, there would be a whole new perception of LGBT representation I feel.
Saddest part of being gay is that people only going to see the part you’re gay … And you’re so much more than who you choose to love we can be some of sweetest people ever
Ooof, I definitely felt the vibe shift after Stacey confessed to being a Republican. While that doesn’t automatically mean she’s a Trump supporter, I couldn’t help but wonder about it for the rest of the episode-it made things really awkward. On top of that, she described her relationship with her girlfriend like it was just a “fling” and kept rejecting the idea that she could be gay. Honestly, she needs therapy. As another commenter said, I really hope Mal will platform Queer radical voices in the coming months. This interview felt so out of touch.
You are beautiful as whoever you are, because you have opened yourself to real life experience, and you are definitely a thoughtful and thinking person. - Farley Andrews
I was so stressed listening to this. She is still struggling to accept a part of herself for fear of being misunderstood by other ppl and the expectations they have of who she is supposed to be but I think time will help. It’s not easy for all of us.
I know the fear of people you know seeing you on lesbian dating apps. I’m still not fully out and that’s why I haven’t gone on the apps yet. But at the same time, if I saw somebody I know on the lesbian dating apps and I knew it wasn’t common knowledge that they were gay, I would think hey, that’s awesome, good for them, and I’d never tell a soul. It wouldn’t be anything weird or embarrassing. So why am I worried? I guess maybe I don’t know if I can trust everybody to be as discreet as I would be, or that they are on the lesbian side for legitimate reasons. I did work with this one girl who would go on the lesbian apps to see if she could find anybody she knew on there, just out of nosiness, and she was one of the least discreet people I’ve ever met. So it’s hard to take that step and I won’t until at least I’ve told the two members of my family that I care about. I don’t want them finding out through back door gossip.
Why am I just realizing the title says 'Love is Love is Blind' ...cute😊 I'm intrigued to see this convo, cause watching the teaser Shorts I was like Stacy looks familiar but I couldn't pin point why. Then I see the title and it all came flooding back to me.😄 I love #LoveisBlind The Osea commercial is cute. Don't why I'm obsessed with the black marble in the bathroom. Anyways Stacy's story is so funny. Is this what it's like for straight passing queer women? People don't take it that serious. I feel for yall.
Omg! That's what I thought, I am straight, I just have experiences with women. Then I realised after lots of therapy, I am Bi and that was so liberating!😊
I have to say that I'm not a super fan of the word queer, just because it means weird, and so I feel like there's this connotation to it that being gay is weird, so I don't mind the word, but it feels a bit off to me, I'd prefer other words to that one.
Stacy made so many good points. Being labeled Queer feels like it comes with all this other stuff, people expect you to be a certain way. I’m just me, lesbian yes, but to me I’m just me.
I relate somewhat to Stacy because when I was figuring out my sexuality and having dated men - and was dating a man at that time - claiming a label like bi or pan felt weird to me. It was like I wanted to be a part of the cool kids club but I wasn't a cool kid. I was afraid of going to Pride because I felt like I was a fraud. But the more I sat with it the more I realised this is who I am and isn't it about time I embraced myself? I remember when I learned what pansexuality was I thought "but isn't that just everyone?"
I hope this convo was liberating for Stacy and others. I knew right away when Mal asked about her coming out as queer that Stacy was uncomfortable with that label. As a white, conservative femme middle class cisgender woman- queer entails being outside and even against the “norm”. She may be with a woman- but not against the norm in other ways.
Please don't take this wrong, but you did fall into the right end of the DNA pool. I know it feels like you need a break, but you do have a lot going for you.
Really disappointed to see you platform a Republican (especially unchallenged) when our community is about to lose rights to Republican power. On a personal level, I wish the best for Stacy on her journey, and hope she can come to accept herself and the community. Mal, I hope you find more queer as in radical voices for future episodes.
So just cause she's Republican she shouldn't have her voice heard? What kinda nonsense is this? Also, there was zero chat about politics. Her story should still be told and I personally enjoyed this one more than last few episodes. We all come from different upbringings. How can you be so judgmental? And Mal isn't here to challenge people's beliefs, she's here to give a space for lesbians to tell their stories.
@@majoduarte8722 Queer means radical. Learn actual queer history. She isn't queer, she's bisexual or lesbian (or another label.) Queer is reclaimed in radical spaces and non-radical people cannot reclaim it. Stacy and I can agree on that, that's not undermining my point.
@@whodis2792 I can be judgmental for someone who does not want to stand for LGBT rights. We all come from different upbringings and we are all on different journeys, but when LGBT (especially trans) rights are under attack, not everyone's voice deserves to be heard right now.
Finally a gay republican woman on social media 😃. There are like 10 of us out there lol. Politics should have nothing to do with your sexuality, especially because you can identify with qualities from both parties, and be a centrist who leans right or left.
its interesting that you say politics shouldn't have anything to do with sexuality, yet the Republican party in particular makes queerness political (i.e., they insist on legislating against queer rights). It is puzzling to hear you call for people to separate sexuality and politics, when that starts with legislators who give queer people no choice but to protest policies designed to disenfranchise and oppress them? Thereby rendering them "political" for speaking against the ways that their identities have become political against their will?
@MMH222-p5j please keep in mind that everyone chooses their politics based on what is important to them, whether it is gay rights, religious rights, health care, Pro choice vs pro life, or even just "anyone but xxxxxxx." There are plenty of Americans of all races, creeds, colors etc who identity as Republican to whom something else is going to be more important than sexual orientation. Nothing someone from the otherside says s going to sway them. They will vote how they want to vote. They will believe what they choose to believe, no matter what you or anyone else can provide as the truth.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
You could be an amazing therapist! In the first session you manage to bring out emotions and connect like this. No one who passes by that couch continues to be a stranger. Congratulations!
Mal did a really good job interviewing
As always 😊
thank you 🫶🏼🥹
@@MadeItOutPodcast you really did. I wish I had someone like you to talk to in my real life. Love your podcast!
@@haleyrobinson6358 that’s exactly what I thought while listening! 🥲
A lot of people who don't live in the south are probably confused by this conversation. Coming to terms with your sexuality is WILD over here y'all 🥲
yes this one did feel specifically southern lol
I’m an ooooold Fem lesbian ( came out in 1973) and just love these episodes. I relate to so many of these conversations- it’s amazing. Mal-- you are a wonderful interviewer…..you are where you should be. Congratulations on your success in doing such great work for our community….and society in general.
thank you for these kind words. i really appreciate you watching and supporting the podcast!
It's hard seeing the effect of negative messaging had not just on Stacy but all of us in the LGBTQ+ community while growing up. The enthesis on how being gay can ruin your life or at least make it harder, is although partly true, needs to be counterbalanced by all the positives of being true to yourself. Life can be harsh no matter who you are, so at least be your authentic self and then see how life unfolds.
Although I grew up in a loving family it was clear to me at an early age that their was boundaries and I was going to have to hide part of myself to live withing the social circles of family & friends. We've got to get the message out there even more so in these awful times that it is ok to be different, to be who you want & love who you want.
Mad it Out is certainly one of those resources that is going to help LGBTQ+ kids learn to navigate this world. x
Rewatching cause this was a great conversation. I'm realizing the reason Stacy and I'm sure others may feel the 'queer' label feels heavy is because queer people had to and continue to fight for equal rights (because we have to) so innately it becomes a political statement. *Side note*: I still cant believe Mal went on Craigslist at 15 to find women.😧That was so dangerous.
I think she has a lot to unpack
this one was rough for me. the cognitive dissonance was loud. seems like stacy is still held captive by a lot of internalized homophobia.
Yeah it was hard for me as well but it’s also a very common part of the experience so I do appreciate the nuance
I agree, but I’m hopeful she’s freeing herself. I had a whole 48 years as a man, and about half of them as a Republican. It took me all those years to go from being drawn to - but running away from anything feminine - to being a “cross dresser” (it was bad times), identifying as gender-fluid to identifying as trans, to transitioning. There are very few true “lightbulb” moments. Usually it’s more like a lot of lighting bugs flickering in and out til dawn breaks.
So hard. I felt irked about the queer community being there for her, as we always are, and feeling like she wouldn't be there for us. Also thinking about her future self looking back on this and realizing how off she was, how afraid, how hurtful her politics and way of conversing about sexuality is to queer and oppressed people everywhere. Hoping for future Stacy.
One of my favorite videos! I can completely relate to not wanting a label because it makes you feel like a “ failure “ to ppl especially family. I still struggle to say I’m “ gay “ I just say “ I like girls” . It’s wild but I’m glad I’m not alone. ❤
She always does a great job interviewing…
🥹
This one was a difficult one to follow for me, first one until now
I'm sure it will resonate with some demographic, people who identify themselves with Stacy's upbringing and situation, and that's good for what it is. I guess she has a lot to reflect on still, therapy (with maybe a good queer therapist) will help her out idk
Anyway Mal kudos to you because you have a natural way of cultivating a good flow in conversation, whatever the circumstances are
Impressive social intelligence
Team Made It Out, keep doing the good work 💪
100% agree. As a women who is also from Texas and came out in my hometown in my late 20s, I totally get navigating the traditional mindset. You could tell she is in a place of really finding the words and inner confidence to just be and who in her truth. It takes time for sure, and it's been a long time since I've been in spaces that are 'straight laced". I found myself getting annoyed by the references to men. 😆But I also extend all the grace to her because it can be challenging, especially when you're living in the same place. Mal always rocks an interview though which was amazing to witness!
Im from the south, and from my experience, it is rare to hear conversation topics in such a casual manner, Thanks to this podcast, it's soothing to find comfort in my identity and not feel like Im from a diff planet. ✌️
The stereotypical cheerleader conversation just emphasizes the importance of representation. If Brittany and Santana from Glee were shown earlier in our lives, there would be a whole new perception of LGBT representation I feel.
What she said about boundaries, literally every word resonated with me!
Most people don't have any boundaries today
5:29 this is everyone’s psa to watch “But I’m a Cheerleader” if you haven’t before 😛
Saddest part of being gay is that people only going to see the part you’re gay … And you’re so much more than who you choose to love we can be some of sweetest people ever
That’s because lgbt ppl make their sexuality their entire personality.
Ooof, I definitely felt the vibe shift after Stacey confessed to being a Republican. While that doesn’t automatically mean she’s a Trump supporter, I couldn’t help but wonder about it for the rest of the episode-it made things really awkward. On top of that, she described her relationship with her girlfriend like it was just a “fling” and kept rejecting the idea that she could be gay. Honestly, she needs therapy. As another commenter said, I really hope Mal will platform Queer radical voices in the coming months. This interview felt so out of touch.
Bless Stacy, love her story. Hope she is eternally peaceful from here on
You are beautiful as whoever you are, because you have opened yourself to real life experience, and you are definitely a thoughtful and thinking person. - Farley Andrews
Can't believe it's been a whole year for this podcast. Amazing work ladies. Very well done!! It's always interesting listening to your conversations.
Mal you are a great interviewer.
thank you so much 🫶🏼
This podcast episode is like a identical copy of my life and my coming out. "Special Roommate", and living in Texas. Thank you @madeitout crew!!!
you were made for this mal.
not the roommate 💀
also, about the "blonde cheerleader" bit, "but I'm a cheerleader" came out in the nineties yo
Mal you are a gift ❤ loved this
I was so stressed listening to this. She is still struggling to accept a part of herself for fear of being misunderstood by other ppl and the expectations they have of who she is supposed to be but I think time will help. It’s not easy for all of us.
Great episode. Love how relatable your podcast is always 🤍
Been waiting for thissss I knew shhe was for the girlsssssss So seeing her coming out, so prouddddd
I know the fear of people you know seeing you on lesbian dating apps. I’m still not fully out and that’s why I haven’t gone on the apps yet. But at the same time, if I saw somebody I know on the lesbian dating apps and I knew it wasn’t common knowledge that they were gay, I would think hey, that’s awesome, good for them, and I’d never tell a soul. It wouldn’t be anything weird or embarrassing. So why am I worried? I guess maybe I don’t know if I can trust everybody to be as discreet as I would be, or that they are on the lesbian side for legitimate reasons. I did work with this one girl who would go on the lesbian apps to see if she could find anybody she knew on there, just out of nosiness, and she was one of the least discreet people I’ve ever met. So it’s hard to take that step and I won’t until at least I’ve told the two members of my family that I care about. I don’t want them finding out through back door gossip.
so off topic, but Mal, where is your sweatshirt from? I tried to look it up but apparently google is not my friend anymore.
@iamhuman_thebrand
Another great conversation, thank you for sharing!
thank you for being here!!!
lol i thought a label girl would be really into her own labels for her identity. not thinking about name brands at all
Why am I just realizing the title says 'Love is Love is Blind' ...cute😊 I'm intrigued to see this convo, cause watching the teaser Shorts I was like Stacy looks familiar but I couldn't pin point why. Then I see the title and it all came flooding back to me.😄 I love #LoveisBlind The Osea commercial is cute. Don't why I'm obsessed with the black marble in the bathroom. Anyways Stacy's story is so funny. Is this what it's like for straight passing queer women? People don't take it that serious. I feel for yall.
Omg! That's what I thought, I am straight, I just have experiences with women. Then I realised after lots of therapy, I am Bi and that was so liberating!😊
As always, great and warm conversation..thanks for sharing!
You are who you are be your self ignore the haters u only live once love is love be happy
Great podcast keep up the good work from across the pond ❤
Oooof. I relate a lot to the internal struggles she's talking about here.
23:59 ooooof. 🤔What am I in denial about? Fffffffuu🤯
I have to say that I'm not a super fan of the word queer, just because it means weird, and so I feel like there's this connotation to it that being gay is weird, so I don't mind the word, but it feels a bit off to me, I'd prefer other words to that one.
Could you invite King Princess one day, maybe?
Mel is so so beautiful as a person, as a soul! ❤ thank you for existing. 😊
Stacy made so many good points. Being labeled Queer feels like it comes with all this other stuff, people expect you to be a certain way. I’m just me, lesbian yes, but to me I’m just me.
That's it girl.!!😉enjoy queer word🏳️🌈
Mal, you help your guests feel seen ❤❤❤❤
❤️🩹
I relate somewhat to Stacy because when I was figuring out my sexuality and having dated men - and was dating a man at that time - claiming a label like bi or pan felt weird to me. It was like I wanted to be a part of the cool kids club but I wasn't a cool kid. I was afraid of going to Pride because I felt like I was a fraud. But the more I sat with it the more I realised this is who I am and isn't it about time I embraced myself? I remember when I learned what pansexuality was I thought "but isn't that just everyone?"
Amazing episode ❤❤. That wine though ☺️☺️☺️.
Best interview so far 🎉
I hope this convo was liberating for Stacy and others. I knew right away when Mal asked about her coming out as queer that Stacy was uncomfortable with that label. As a white, conservative femme middle class cisgender woman- queer entails being outside and even against the “norm”. She may be with a woman- but not against the norm in other ways.
Y’all are so cute!
I love stacy.... She is too cool 😎
All my high school friends kissed each other and every time they asked me I will avoid the situation as well 😂
Please don't take this wrong, but you did fall into the right end of the DNA pool. I know it feels like you need a break, but you do have a lot going for you.
That’s so sad she’s correlating her sexuality to whether she’s a failure or not. That has NOTHING to do with your success.
I knew it was too good to be true a white woman from texas would be ground shifting 😂 I see you cherry liking and replying to comments Mal
fantastic episode. I have to know, though, how did the Craigslist hook-ups go ? All I ever heard was horror stories about guys pretending to be girls.
i actually go in depth about one of the CL experiences on the episode with kathryn gallagher!
Hmmmm. When you asked interesting tell me more… yeah good job!
Really disappointed to see you platform a Republican (especially unchallenged) when our community is about to lose rights to Republican power. On a personal level, I wish the best for Stacy on her journey, and hope she can come to accept herself and the community. Mal, I hope you find more queer as in radical voices for future episodes.
So just cause she's Republican she shouldn't have her voice heard? What kinda nonsense is this? Also, there was zero chat about politics. Her story should still be told and I personally enjoyed this one more than last few episodes. We all come from different upbringings. How can you be so judgmental? And Mal isn't here to challenge people's beliefs, she's here to give a space for lesbians to tell their stories.
@@whodis2792 And that's probably what she meant by the burden of expectations in religion and politics of being labeled "queer"
@@majoduarte8722 Exactly, OP proved her point without even realising.
@@majoduarte8722 Queer means radical. Learn actual queer history. She isn't queer, she's bisexual or lesbian (or another label.) Queer is reclaimed in radical spaces and non-radical people cannot reclaim it. Stacy and I can agree on that, that's not undermining my point.
@@whodis2792 I can be judgmental for someone who does not want to stand for LGBT rights. We all come from different upbringings and we are all on different journeys, but when LGBT (especially trans) rights are under attack, not everyone's voice deserves to be heard right now.
Finally a gay republican woman on social media 😃. There are like 10 of us out there lol. Politics should have nothing to do with your sexuality, especially because you can identify with qualities from both parties, and be a centrist who leans right or left.
its interesting that you say politics shouldn't have anything to do with sexuality, yet the Republican party in particular makes queerness political (i.e., they insist on legislating against queer rights). It is puzzling to hear you call for people to separate sexuality and politics, when that starts with legislators who give queer people no choice but to protest policies designed to disenfranchise and oppress them? Thereby rendering them "political" for speaking against the ways that their identities have become political against their will?
@MMH222-p5j please keep in mind that everyone chooses their politics based on what is important to them, whether it is gay rights, religious rights, health care, Pro choice vs pro life, or even just "anyone but xxxxxxx." There are plenty of Americans of all races, creeds, colors etc who identity as Republican to whom something else is going to be more important than sexual orientation. Nothing someone from the otherside says s going to sway them. They will vote how they want to vote. They will believe what they choose to believe, no matter what you or anyone else can provide as the truth.
@@MMH222-p5jIs that why a gay man literally saved Pennsylvania for Trump?
I wish we could just be free 🤍