Why Do I Now Accept 'Disabled'? Clearing Up the Stigma
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- Опубликовано: 7 окт 2024
- TRANSCRIPT:
Hello, I wanted to talk about something important for me personally and I feel is important for all of you to hear and..see. I feel it'll help understand and open eyes because it took me a long time myself to have my own eyes opened on 'Disability' and the term 'Disabled' for myself.
For 17 years I rejected the term 'Disabled' because I viewed it as something that if associated with me, would make me broken, would make me weak, make me inferior compared to everyone else. I did not want that associated with me because I didn't see myself as broken. But see, what I did not realize back then, and what I realize now, I was holding inside myself the same negativity that society has when they look down on Disabled people, individually and as a whole. The stigma against Disabled people that somehow the word 'Disabled' is something negative and must be separated.. And..that's just...not the case.
My Deafness I consider separate from Disability. To me, and to many Deaf people, Deaf itself is its own community, culture, history, language, its own entity.
With Disabilities, there is a community, and I didn't find the community until this year on Twitter. I've met wonderful activists and advocates who are Disabled and helped me open my eyes on my own self-discovery.
Society sees Disabilities as something negative. There are some struggles, like for me, because I separate 'Deaf' from 'Disabled' You might be wondering, "how are you disabled?”. Well there are multiple disabilities, it's a whole dang spectrum. In each disability it's a spectrum, it's not like, "YOU ARE BLIND, THAT IS IT, YOU CAN"T SEE", there's variability in blindness. "YOU CAN'T WALK". there's variability. Some people can't walk ever, some people can walk a little bit, it's different.
With my syndrome, Goldenhar, or "Golden-Hair" as many people have started saying. Goldenhar, it obviously doesn't JUST influence my face or Deafness, it also influences my spine, which has caused issues like chronic pain that flares up in my arm, right side of my neck. Because I have a legit rib in my neck, pressing on the nerve sometimes when its aggregated when I lift or carry stuff like a backpack. If that happens, my arm will be tingly, it'll hurt a bit, go numb...then it'll come back!
That's one way I'm disabled. I also can't eat by mouth, I'm g-tube fed, I can't breathe properly like fully. Many things that I never saw before as disabilities because I never saw myself as something broken. But then I realized, that's wrong, hold up, hold up, time-out bro. Disabled, Disabilities, there are some things that can be annoying, sometimes even a pain in the.. A PAIN IN THE....NECK
But overall for many Disabled people, myself included, our disabilities are just another part of who we are, another identity, another core of what has shaped us in life. Because I wouldn't be here, wouldn't be the person I am, wouldn't have the understanding of the world I do now, if it weren't for everything I've been through.
Kinda going off that topic, Identity of Disability itself, there are two kinds. Some people prefer identity first language, which is "Disabled person". That's me, and a lot of other Disabled people like that.
Some people, on the other hand, prefer "person with disabilities" and that's okay!
Some people who are Deaf, or blind, or whatever, they don't even consider themselves with disabilities at all. They don't connect or relate with the Disability community or the word, and that's perfectly fine too!
We all have the freedom to connect with what we feel is right in the world. Sometimes, like with me, it takes time to grow up, to understand, to really slowly understand, "okay, I can see how I can connect with that, that is part of me". But it's not how I thought it was, because how I was thinking was exactly how society thinks.
But you see, here's the thing. Our disability isn't what 'disables' us, what 'disables' us is society's view on disabilities, their lack of understanding, lack of awareness, and lack of accommodations to help give us equitable ground.
I am Disabled. I am a Disabled person. The reason why I personally prefer "Disabled person" over "person with disabilities" is because for some reason everyone's fine if I were to say...I'm a white guy. Yes. Yes you are Andy! Good for you! Want a prize?!...No. When I say I'm white, people are fine. If I say I'm Jewish, people are fine. But if I say I'm Disabled..no no...THAT'S a problem.
And you see, when you say "person with disabilities", you're pushing 'disabled' to the back because it's negative. You want to see the person first, which is all well and respectful, except you CANNOT separate the person from the disability. The disability is part of that person, what shaped that person.
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(CONTINUED TRANSCRIPT):
You wouldn't say I'm a person of Jewishness, or a person of whiteness, or a person of maleness. That all sounds weird, doesn't it?! But it's okay with disabilities, because disabilities are seen as negative, something looked down upon.
Nuh uh, Disabled people are people. Disabled people have abilities, we all have abilities, and ability isn't just limited to physical or mental. We all have ideas, we all have potential to give to the world.
There's a fantastic CNN documentary, The United Shades of America with Kamau Bell about Disabilities. They explain it really well, really helps bring awareness and visibility on what 'Disabled' is and why it isn't negative. There are amazing activists and leaders like Alice Wong and Deaf actor, CJ Jones, who I love and just followed me on Instagram, which is crazy! I suggest you watch it if you can.
What's the problem, isn't the disability, all we need is just a little bit of accessibility, a little help from the world we live in. If you're a wheelchair-user, just give that person a ramp, and they will go in and take care of their own business like anyone else.
A lot of people say, "You're so brave to live in spite of your disabilities! Oh my god! You're so brave, so strong!"
[Repeated slapping of my knee in anguish]
You see...that's wrong. We don't live in spite of our disabilities. We live WITH our disabilities as part of us. The only thing we live in spite of that has to do with our disabilities is society's ignorance, society's lack of accommodations, lack of understanding to really help us be on equal ground, to really give us a chance and not just quickly judge and dismiss us. THAT is what we live in spite of. We don't live in spite of ourselves. We are just fine, we're perfectly dandy.
*You certainly have some very interesting "angles" on the way people look at each other, & those who are disabled. You definitely made my brain work double-time!! You are very intelligent. Have a great week.*
Andy for United States President!!! Cast your vote with a thumbs up!!!!
I hope y'all learn a lot from this video, just as I've learned a lot through my own self-discovery in Disabilities. I used to be totally ignorant and judgemental in my own right, and I'd like to apologize to the Disabled community for my lack of understanding. I was too quick to feel insecure by society that I didn't take the time to consider the other side of the equation, the Disabled side. This has truly been the most impactful self-discovery I've made this year, truly changed my view on myself and the world, and I've been fortunate to make great friends and mentors within the Disability community who have shown me that it's okay to say 'Disabled' with pride, as just another faucet of my identity.
*"Our disability isn't what 'disables' us, what 'disables' us is society's view on disabilities, their lack of understanding, lack of awareness, and lack of accommodations to help give us equitable ground."*
Damn.
4:08 when u make a pun and you know damn right it’s good
He really made me laugh there! :D
I agree with everything you said! I wasn’t born disabled I got sick in my early 20s and quickly fell into depression, I didn’t want to be thought of as less by the community! I still hate getting stared at as we park in disabled parking or told I don’t look sick or I am too young to be sick! It’s true society wants to push us down and make us feel less by not accommodating us at all. I went shopping and had to leave my wheelchair outside when I insisted we bring it in so it didn’t get stolen the woman acted like I had committed a crime by putting my folded wheelchair by a display when it was her fault the shop was impossible to wheel around! I felt so depressed and oppressed until I found the community on social media and started my blog and my channel here. Now I’m learning to accept the problem isn’t mine it’s society’s...oh and do not get me started on people using me as inspiration to get their ironing done after work or something else equally benign xx
You made me tear up, I hope my little sister can grow up in a better, less ignorant world. Your message is very important and must be heard, understood and put into practice. My youngest sister has Golden-Har I want her to see this.
You articulated this very well for me. I saw you first recently through SBSK. I'm looking to better understand the disabled community as part of trying to better understand the beauty and variety of humanity in general. Because of your ability to patiently yet firmly and passionately and clearly explain your position, I learn so much from you. You must be a blessing to many. I've saved this video to watch with my teenagers. Thank you.
Hi Andy. I saw you at Special Books by Special Kids channel and i was so impressed bc I really like this channel but video with you I liked the most of all. I like your personality
Would love to see a hair routine
I have to say that what you said makes perfect sense. Especially when it comes to society and people's ignorance and I love how you said that you don't live in spite of your "disability", you live in spite of societies ignorance. Such an amazing explanation!!! This video should be seen by the world!!! Let's share the crap out of it and open people's eyes!!! Share with a minimum of five people and ask those five people to share with another five people. This video needs to go viral!!!
Welcome to the dark side! So happy you feel comfortable identifying as disabled. I'm disabled too and often refer to myself as a crip. It's really liberating to finally identify with who you are as opposed to always trying to brush it aside or have it somewhat separate from yourself. Go forth and be disabled!
this video was so interesting and informative as someone who is trying to learn more about the disabled community also cool hair
Saw your interview on SBSK and... I just loved the way you think, your personality, humor. So glad you have a RUclips channel & Instagram. You definitely have a voice that needs to be heard 💕
Whomstever disliked this can receive my hands
I learned so much from this Andy. My 6 y/o brother has Autism and it’s been hard with him with school, his therapists, etc. So me and my family have experienced what it’s like to live with someone who was born into a “disability”. He is so sweet and me and him are closer with ourselves than any of our other family. It breaks my heart seeing him grow up and not understanding common sense things but being able to read at almost a 10 or 11 y/o level. I see him as my sweet brother and not as someone who is what some called “disabled” although you have to keep in mind his Autism or else he will go out of control panicking or screaming.
Thank you for everything you have done Andy. I think it’s great that you are sharing your story on the internet. Stay alive fren |-/
I completely agree with your assessment of person-first vs. identity first language. When non-disabled people push us to use person-first language (and in my experience they're most often the ones pushing it), it makes me think of someone saying something like "my friend Monica, who just happens to be black." Nobody just happens to be black, that's an integral part of who they are. When people do this I think they're trying to sound extra sensitive, like they don't notice sex, race, religion, disability, etc., because they see noticing those characteristics as inherently discriminatory. Identity first language acknowledges the whole person without diminishing their experiences.
Noticed you're not posting, so Idk if you'll see this. Anyways, I'm going to have my husband watch this in hopes he can learn and agree. He's legally blind. He can't drive a car, and no one wants to hire him because they don't want to "baby sit" him. So it really brings him down. He tries to hide his disability since most people put him down for it. But I think he should be proud! It makes him who he is, and I wouldn't want him any other way. So thanks for being open-minded, and I hope more people learn to do so.
Its so awesome you can talk a bit now, when Chris interviewed you you couldnt speak a word, i admire the progress youre making, such an good inspiration for everyone, love you Andy huge fan!!!
Thank you for explaining that in such a simple yet profoundly clear way. I really enjoyed having my own eyes opened to be more mindful. I admire both you and your brother for how you guys are educating others in such a down to earth way!! 🙌🏻
I am a student learning to be a speech language pathologist. A professor got mad when I said "autistic kids". We are taught to put the person first, but I think that the order of the words shouldn't matter that much. I love your videos! 💜
Kathleen Welsh it really is nothing wrong the problem is the general public makes the word autistic a negative connotative word filled with taboo but i think if said with no harm intended there’s nothing wrong with saying autistic kids to me
Holy jeesus you're funny, eloquent, and so inquisitive! Thanks for the video! I'm glad your captions were timed well with your sign and voice. Really helped with the delivery of your serious ideas as well as the comedic timing of your jokes.
That one person that has to dislike the video, but other than that his videos are awesome and will probably cheer anybody up after they see, also your hair looks super 😎!
Hey Andy, I just saw the episode about you and your brother on SBSK and I just want to say thank you, you really did teach me a few important lessons. It's so awesome to know you guys have youtube channel and I really can't wait to see more content from you guys! It's a shame I've never gotten to know you guys in person, you're really chill and sound amazing to be friends with!
Andy, first of all...you're awesome and I love your personality, you really shine! Second, I love listening to you talk and sign at the same time. I used to be able to sign pretty well but I haven't signed for real in almost 10 years and I've definitely lost a lot of it :( . Watching and listening to you is helping me learn again and I appreciate it! Also, this video is great! Keep the knowledge coming
You're awesome! I just watched your video with your brother and Chris and yoy have such an awesome personality. My 9 year old was inspired to try ASL and he will be taking a class for it in the fall. Thanks for being you!
I have hearing loss from birth and scoliosis from birth. I never saw myself as disabled (hearing loss wise) until I almost got into an accident because I can’t hear if my car is running or not. Then I realized that wow, okay my hearing loss affects me more than I thought I need to process this. Then I realized the same thing with my scoliosis. I never noticed that I don’t sit in the middle of the seat until my dad pointed it out. It affects how I drive apparently. I never knew this till recently. Now I don’t like to ask for help sometimes because I don’t want to feel like I am stuck and can’t do anything but I also have to be mindful that I can’t do everything. There are challenges but I can learn to work with them and try to figure out different ways to do certain things. I used to not consider myself disabled. I used to not refer to my hearing loss as a disability I hated that. But now I have learned to accept it for what it is and I have learned and still am learning that it’s a thing but I can’t let it take over my life and make me depressed. I’ve overcome that depression. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for being a light to others! I am grateful that I found your channel!
love this guy🖤
I really love your spirit and I admire you for doing this video ❤️❤️❤️
Omg yeeees Andyyyy👏🏼 I love your videos!!
It's cool to change your views on something. I really liked your video.
Thank you for this. Once I accepted we were a special need family, it was much easier to manage. (Both kids have chronic migraine and extreme food allergies)
Thank you for this explanation.
Omg your hair is soo long i love it !
Damn nice fro bro
Hi Andy, I have a child with chronic illnesses plus down syndrome plus a little autism. I had the problems you described with the German expression 'behindert'. Like you with time I distrusted the alternative expressions e.g. 'special' even more. German 'Behindert' is more like 'handicapped'. It expresses a relationship: you bring your 'handicap' = extra weight in the horserace with you - and then our society makes only your racetrack extra steep, so you got no chance against the horse without handicap = you not only ARE handicapped, you GET handicapped, too. Could you say in English 'people disable you'? Keep going! Big hello from Germany
Love it!!!
LOVELY
Everyone is a genious, but if you judge a fish on how well it climbs a tree, it will spend its whole life thinking its stupid. -Albert Einstein
❤
I have Asperger's and it's different sometimes if it's a mental disability. Autism can be a disability but if it's like mine and very mild it's really not. I don't consider myself disabled except socially disabled if that's a thing. I can hold a job, live mostly independent, do most things on my own. I never had an IEP or intensive therapy except counseling. I didn't have language delays. But if you have more classic or severe autism then that's definitely a disability or if you can't hold a job due to autism. So while I don't consider myself disabled, idk if I technically could be.
I like you don’t use the term disabled because you are a human. We are humans and we are all different. Using the term “disabled” means that they can’t do certain stuff. There are some stuff you can’t do like hearing but it doesn’t you’re disabled. You are special instead. You have made an impact because I have hard hearing but I can hear. You made me feel like I’m a human and not “disabled”. Keep on changing the world!
Mr. Proper 100 I do use the term Disabled.. the whole video was about erasing the negativity associated with disabilities. I’m not “Special”. I’m human with different aspects of who I am, including Disabled.
Andy Signs oh, I watched took the meaning of the video in the wrong way then. Oops 😂😂😂
Mr. Proper 100 I’m in the same situation you are in ( hard of hearing) but there’s nothing wrong with accepting with the label “disabled” I think it’s important to acknowledge your ability compared to others there’s nothing wrong with categorizing yourself as disabled. For me I consider it a challenge or a “handicap” setting if you will, given to me and it’s even more incredible seeing disabled people beat the odds and surpass “normies” or the typical human! (Nothing wrong with being a normie either folks)
Super Saiyan afro
So, when I worked as a community Integration specialist for a group home, it was drilled into my head for 10 years that anything but "alterabled" and "adult w disabilities" was offensive and belittling to the majority. I just really want to know what term to use when speaking to the general public to not continue using the wrong term. I know you are not the official representative of the disabled community, but I would love to know if there is a consensus.
n. p. Honestly it depends who you’re talking to some people are gonna take it the wrong way no matter what word you use to try to use the politically correct term for people with disabilities such as me what really matters is if your word choices is made with a respectful manner for the people you’re addressing then I’m 99% of the people who hear you are going to be just fine and reflect respect towards you
Dessi Gonzalez thanks dessi. I know I can't please everyone, but was just questioning whether or not there was a better term to use than the ones already mentioned. Or is alter-abled, or adult w disabilities the better of the two? I really just want to be respectful to the majority, and not seem like I am not "up to speed" on current disabled community's preferences.
n. p. I didn’t even know such word as alterabled existed lol if you’re addressing a specific group it’s better to adress them with the disability they have (ie deaf people or blind people etc) but if it’s in general you should be allowed to say disabled or people with disabilities without backlash
You sure have a lot to say and actually found a good way to live with your disability.