i once confided in a friend that the main reason i would never buy a gun is for the same reason jim talked about. my friend wasn't shocked, just kinda confused. but it was so overwhelmingly emotional for me to hear jim say that because i've never heard anyone else say that. love you guys and the show so much!
I was horribly depressed in high school (started when I was 10) and I was not on social media. I do think social media is a huge influence on kids’ self-esteem though, so could definitely be a big contributor these days. I definitely still struggle with it, but it’s either not as bad as it was, or I’ve learned to cope with it better. And it’s weird, because I found myself weighing the pros and cons of suicide, in (what I felt was) a rational, unemotional way. I didn’t want to hurt my loved ones, but I was exhausted by feeling the way I did all the time. I remember one time driving home from work, and I remember exactly where I was when I heard this, someone on the radio talking about depression and suicide and him saying “I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal to think about killing yourself every day” and I realized that was true for me as well. Your brain really does get into a loop and you lose perspective. This was a great conversation 👍
@@jd-og2098 Yeah I've learnt not to let the silence in. My headphones are probably fused to my head but the music and podcasts keep the darkness at bay.
A close mate of mine took his own life last Monday. Tell your people you love them. Ollie was a proud advocate for men’s mental health. Any donation towards Beyond Blue, if you’re able, would be greatly appreciated. Remember we are all in this together ❤️ Reach out brothers
Sorry to hear that man. I know if many people who have taken their lives in the last year. If not for the responsibility I have to my child I'd very likely be one of them. The way the world has been handled is disgusting.
I was thinking the same thing. Surely Butcher Box is getting their best money’s worth from those two blokes. Those wild Alaskan salmon you don’t know what they’re gonna do! I would’ve supported the sponsors if they were available in Aus lol
Thank you for tackling such a serious subject, opening up about your own issues with it, and pulling off making it a fun episode. Also, get Jack on camera, as well. Maybe that Mexican guy, too.
This podcast is getting better and better. I feel for you, Kelly.🤗🌻🌹Been struggling with depression and negative self image my entire life due to a very traumatic childhood. Shows like this are important! And the so-called social media is a fucking CANCER slowly devouring society. Keep up the good work, guys.👍👍🍺🥃
Possibly the best episode yet. Piss-funny and genuinely really engaging. (I only got five minutes into the last episode once your guest came on) I work for a mental health Trust in the NHS and thought it was pretty good as a public health information service as well!
This wasn't your funniest podcast... but was absolutely the BEST. Proper topic with a proper conversation that can affect everyone. I saw Jim (and Forrest)'s show in Seoul a few years back. I'm a fan. This was the best reply to last week's 'nonsense' topic. Thank you for doing this one.
This is a really good episode, you guys have been knocking them out of the park recently. I really like the team you have and hearing the jokes but also the honesty coming from you all as you speak about this is really cool. Keep it up!
I wanna thank you Jim, your my favourite comedian and I have so much respect for and how honest you are about all of the things you have been through. I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression since I was about 12 and I’m 30 now and it caused all sorts of problems in my life. The COVID situation has made it all worse, but you make me feel like there is a reason to keep going g and I thank you.I find you an inspiration and love your pod cast, keep up the good work dude
Great topic. I've suffered from depression a few years ago so I monitor myself. Specially when I am too anxious. Keeping traumas and pain in a some sort of invisible box doesn't help. When I had suicidal thoughts I used to think my family would be much better without me. I felt I didn't had a purpose so I can relate to all you've discussed. Some people still think that depression is sth people can chose and that if a person wants it, it just goes away. Education on mental health is needed. Thanks Jim for talking about it.
I've suffered from depression since being a teenager but I can control it a lot better now. I went through phases of genuinely thinking my daughter would be better off without me. I was having severe depressive episodes. Now she's 14 and it makes me feel guilty that I thought that but I know now that it's because I was in a very dark place. Now I know she needs me and we've got a great relationship. Everyday is a fight but that's okay, it's worth the struggle.
Jim wins the award for best interpretive ad reading. Cracks me up every time-reminds me of my pop creatively reading me bedtime stories when I was a kid.
Have to say this is the first podcast from yourselves that ive not gone to instantly because of the subject and personal fears. Subject was handled and spoken about with sensitivity and from the heart which is lovely to hear people just being open and real. I hope many hear this and come away from it as i have, feeling normal. Keep up the podcasts and love to all
Sorry to hear mate, I've been depressed until just before 40. Then they found out I was adhd as f*ck, and with some therapy and medication, finally all depression just cleared away like mist on a chilly summer morning. I hope you'll find your cause and manage to ascend out of it!
Ha, close on 30 years! I'm 43. Takes the win. Hang in there mate. Like Jim has said in his stand up before, just got to outlive it, keep on top of it, forgive yourself for those dark times. And, as I'm listening to Jim now, get to the other side like Jim's Dad. Best.
@@Rona44 My doc gave me Zoloft when I was 7. It was new on the market at the time so I have to wonder if I wasn't a lab rat to see if it was safe for children.
Hi IDKAT crew, I'm a long time fan of Jim in general and the show specifically, I've listened to every episode, except half of the episode on pies and breaking bad because I haven't seen breaking bad yet but I'm considering watching the whole show just for those 20 minutes, I suffer from depression a few years now and this episode meant a lot to me, as well as Jim's bits about depression in his stand-up. The episode made me cry a bit which was a bit awkward because I was at the at a supermarket. I shared the episode with everybody I know. Thank you all for real for this episode. And happy birthday to Jim, hope you liked the video I sent :)
Kati is great! It's funny to see her actually holding back on her humor after being introduced to her by her friendship with Christina P. She's been on Where My Mom's At? a number of times, which I highly recommend.
The quality of the pod really has gone up good job girls and boys and whatever jack is! And here's a motto someone told me in middle school and I never forgot it. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." No matter what happens in life it will eventually in some way shape or form get better. Life is a rollercoaster with ups and downs. And death is natural and inevitable so once you accept these things they help out certain people
I always enjoy IDKAT, and I enjoyed this one. But you've also done some real good to discuss this and talk about it in public. I've had Bi-Polar for many decades, and what was said here was spot-on and rang very true to me. It wouldn't surprise me if this episode even saves a few lives. Nice work.
Kelly made a point that I very much agree with, yet rarely hear mentioned. When day to day life is just an endurance event, when you get no pleasure from anything, just pain, then ending that can make logical sense in your mind. If a person was in constant physical pain, and ended their life, many would at least be able to understand why they did it, even if they did not agree. Yet for a person who does not suffer from mental illness, it is almost impossile to understand how bad having to exist feeling this way is.
Thanks for the honesty you all approached this subject with. I assume everyone I meet is fucked up because life leaves very few people unfucked. We are all just trying to get through with as little pain as possible. Great show!
I think environment plays a much larger role than psychologists think. So much emphasis is put on "chemical imbalances" and pills being the solution. But many people have experienced significant trauma, that scars us, shapes us as people, then when a traumatized person raises children that traumatized personality plays a profound role on the kid's personality.
Love a new Jim jefferies upload! At 04:23 there's a certificate on the wall,I didn't know jim jefferies was qualified in medicine and surgery! So glad people are talking about mental health more and more
Brilliant episode! Forcing yourself for a daily walk (~30mins) - outside if possible - does a lot of good. I suffer from chronic migraines and I take a small daily dose of Entrip 10mg (amitriptyline hydrochloride) and because of my condition I often just walk on the treadmill (often listen/watching something at the same time). It does help... I couldn't tell you why, maybe it's the brain releasing chemicals, maybe its the bloodflow through the body. My Neurologist strongly recommends his patients do a little bit of exercise every day (if they are able), doesn't have to be anything crazy - a simply walk out side can be quite beneficial. Of cause it's never that simple when you feel like shit... so to anyone that has been feeling a bit low lately, perhaps make a playlist of your favourite tunes and take 30 mins out of your day tomorrow and go for a walk. If you are unable to go outside and do not have a treadmill - make up a stretch routine, a goal of touching your toes! Spend ~10 - 15mins each day, inching closer to that goal!
I forgot how much Jim helped me get though my sad days. When your happier it’s easy to forget what helps you back to happy One request looking for a good/funny weed strain name. Hoping you could help thanks for the funny
I met Dustin when the show first started. Him and his dad were outside Albertsons grocery store in Anaheim CA. We chatted for an hour or so. They were cool people. Not long after I found out a friend knew Dustin from a catholic school.
Wow Kelly really shared her soul on this one. Thanks for speaking your truth. As funny as this one was it was equally somber. As always a good podcast.
Intelligent people often seem to be really happy to me. People like Richard Dawkins, Laurence Krauss, Neil deGrasse Tyson, etc. There may well be a certain level of intelligence where you start to question everything and that can maybe make you depressed, but going beyond that elementary scepticism there's a whole world of wonder and intellectual engagement that I think intelligent people can't help but be excited by.
47:58 that's exactly right jim, . . l reached that point that everybody would be better off without me, . . an early dog walker interrupted my attempt.
Watching from Canada. I love the IDKAT podcast! Jim is my favourie comedian! I laugh and learn at the same time! Keep up the great work guys!! PS Can Jack please read more erotica, that was a great segment!! Much love to all of you ❤❤❤
I do the Nazi documentary thing too, and listening to this I can relate to a lot of what Jim and Kelly are saying. Not so much Forest. I'm gonna keep coming back to this when I get depressed.
Comparing ourselves to others is definitely a catalyst to depression. For me, it's a learned condition caused by external factors. Being ugly and alone and poor your entire life is not something that can be treated by medication or therapy. I know that my life is worse than most everyone else my age (late 30s). All I have are regrets to look back on. Suicide is 100% a probability.
I can definitely relate to what you are saying man, how can you treat something that has always been there, something you know to your very core to be fact. But if you say that to a Dr they want to know why you think that etc, like there was one defining moment, if that was the case I would know what to say, what to work on. Or they say something like, but you know that's not true etc etc. I have never had any Dr or therapist that has, as far as I can tell, tried to help me deal with these feelings that have always been there, and when I finally start to release and scratch the surface of how I really feel about myself, about every aspect of myself, from failure to circumstantial, well the guy I still see occasionally has just never asked those questions again. Now I just tell him if I'm up or down from last time and he gives me my prescription. So this IS the part that has helped me, and the thing I wantec to comment on, medication obviously (unfortunately) doesn't help everyone, and it can be, and was for me, a difficult process to find 1 that helps. The biggest danger is taking one that makes it worse, but I was lucky that I recognised what was happening and stopped taking it straight away. I am now on something that has pulled me out of that spiral, or whatever you want to call it, and it has made a big difference, I do feel way clearer, and the voice that stops me from trying again has returned so I am out of "danger," but definitely not functional. I am now back to the way I've felt all my life and I know I always will, but I have been down the point of no return and now I know what it looks like, or at least I know the signs to look out for if that makes sense, and I actually want to prevent it happening again, which is actually a huge win for me, and recognising that is a win, in fact, saying anything is a win, is a win. All I am trying to say man, is PLEASE don't give up. Please keep trying to reach out, you never know when something might come along that makes a difference. I recently discovered a guy here on RUclips called Dr Gundry who has so much information about how much our gut health and what we eat can affect our lives. Yes, he has products and books etc, but some of the videos I have seen he doesn't say, buy my stuff to find out what you need to do etc, he actually tells you a tonne of info so you can make big changes for people who either can't or aren't willing to buy his books and products. What I've heard so far makes so much sense to me, changing what I eat is something that has a real chance of helping imo, and who knows, if you look him up and watch a podcast or 2, he also has lots of short posts about products etc, but his hour+ podcasts are filled with so much info about leaky gut and tips for things we can do now, for me at least I figure it can't hurt if it doesn't cost me anything and isn't a fad diet, it's just about replacing 1 vegetable for another that is way more beneficial for a huge range of health problems, so I think that might make a difference for me anyway, and if you do look into it I really hope you can get some use out of it as well. I am sorry I have rambled on for so long, but your message really felt familiar, and my heart for real felt the pain in your words and I just want to say for what it's worth that I am so sorry you are going through this. But I know 1 thing for sure, pressing Send on a message you write that expresses that pain, whether it is your first-ever or one of many, pressing Send is Extremely Brave man (oh sorry,... or lady 🤔😊) In the past so many of mine got deleted before I sent it, so I can at least relate to how hard that can be, obviously we are all different and I might not be able to relate to what has brought you to this point, but I am hoping something made sense to you. And I hope I'm not being preachy, I was more trying to explain why I related to your words. I really hope to hear back from you with any response good or bad, and thankyou for being so brave and sharing your thoughts. 😊👍👊
Came to this podcast thinking it was Rhys Darby...got this guy instead...that Kelly girl is a stone Cold PHOT though so I stuck around and actually learned something about depression...actually I know you jim jefferies...saw you at the Tulalip Casino where they paid you obscene amounts to make fun of the Asian high rollers who had no idea who you are lol.
Dysthymia and Hyperthymic are of the same class though there are differences that can make it hard to distinguish. Diagnosed Hyperthymic, always moving at high speed, annoying optimist, lows. My son is Dysthymic , we've worked together with therapy for 30 years.
I used to smoke grass and go into nature and look at birds. I also saw my first badger whilst stoned. I don't smoke the grass anymore but I still look at birds and have a £500 telescope and some £800 binoculars and have been to Spain, Russia, USA looking at birds and NOT getting stoned. Though watching a flock of bright pink flamingoes fly over me in Spain was LIKE being stoned.
we are going to grow up as young 20-something adults, butt our heads against some situations. Sometimes, we'll get past those situations thanks to the care of others around us. Sometimes we need a bit more help to understand why we should keep going forward... For those of us who have gotten past those situations... we might then meet new situations! Well.. I don't know about that.. Cheers Geoff and crew.
Jim, somewhere in the podcast you asked if there is such a disability as being “too happy” as in, the opposite of depression. There’s a condition called Angelman Syndrome which promotes sociability and laughter, check it out if you’re interested in learning more.
That was decent from Forrest, saying a few honest words about Dustin. There is a lesson here: *Do Not! Let your kids go down avenues of fame. It's obviously not good for fragile/developing minds.* You wouldn't push your child onto a railway track on the off chance, he, might not, get hit by a train.
Isn’t Kari Morton in some dramas for exploiting other RUclipsrs? Either way super proud that y’all talk about topics like depression and mental health. Best wishes!
1. Isolating you from friends and family. It may start subtly, but this is often a first step for a controlling person. Maybe they complain about how often you talk to your brother on the phone, or say they don't like your best friend and don't think you should hang out with her anymore. Or they try to turn you against anyone that you're used to relying on for support besides them. Their goal is to strip you of your support network, and thus your strength-so that you will be less likely or able to stand up against them whenever they want to "win." 2. Chronic criticism-even for small things. Criticism, like isolation, is also something that can start small. In fact, someone may try to convince themselves that their partner's criticism of them is warranted, or that their partner is just trying to help them be a better person. Or they may try to rationalize it, saying that it's not such a big deal that he or she doesn't like the way they dress or speak or eat or decorate their house and that they shouldn't take it personally. But ultimately, no matter how individually small a criticism seems, if it's part of a constant dynamic within your relationship, it would be very tough to feel accepted, loved, or validated. If every little thing you do could use improvement in your partner's eyes, then how are you being valued as a true equal, let alone loved unconditionally? 3. Veiled or overt threats, against you or them. Some people think that threats have to be physical in nature to be problematic. But threats of leaving, cutting off "privileges," or even threats by the controlling person to harm herself or himself can be every bit as emotionally manipulative as the threat of physical violence. It is not unheard of for the partner being controlled to feel stuck in a relationship not out of fear that they themselves will be harmed, but that their partner may self-destruct or harm themselves if they were to leave. Other times, a person may be threatened with losing their home, access to their children, or financial support if they leave a controlling or abusive partner (or are left by them). Whether or not the threats are genuine, it is just another way for the controlling person to get what they want at the expense of their partner. 4. Making acceptance/caring/attraction conditional. "I love you so much more when you're making those sales at work." "I don't feel like being intimate with you. But if you keep working out and lose a bit more weight, you'll be more attractive to me." "If you can't even be bothered to make dinner, I don't even know what I'm getting from this relationship." "You'd be hot if only you spent more time on your hair." "If you'd actually finished college, you'd have something to talk about with my friends and wouldn't feel so left out." Though some of these examples are more blatant than others, the message is the same: You, right now, are not good enough. It's the common-denominator theme of many a controlling relationship. 5. An overactive scorecard. Healthy, stable relationships have a sense of reciprocity built into them. It's inherent that you will look out for each other, and not bean-count every little time you do something to help the other out. If your partner always keeps tally of every last interaction within your relationship-whether to hold a grudge, demand a favor in return, or be patted on the back-it could very well be their way of having the upper hand. And it can be downright exhausting. 6. Using guilt as a tool. Many controlling people are skilled manipulators at making their partner's own emotions work in the controlling person's favor. If they can manipulate their partners into feeling a steady stream of guilt about everyday goings-on, then a lot of the controlling person's work is done for them-their partners will gradually try to do whatever they can to not have to feel guilty. Often this means relenting and giving up power and their own dissenting opinion within the relationship, which plays right into the controlling person's hands. 7. Creating a debt you're beholden to. Controlling people may come on very strongly in the beginning with seemingly romantic gestures. But upon closer inspection, many of those gestures-extravagant gifts, expectations of serious commitment early on, taking you for luxurious meals or on adventurous outings, letting you have full use of their car or home when they're not there-can be used to control you. Specifically, they create an expectation of you giving something in return, or a sense that you feel beholden to that person because of all they've given you. This can make it more emotionally and logistically difficult to escape when further warning bells go off. 8. Spying, snooping, or requiring constant disclosure. A controlling partner typically feels that they have the right to know more than they actually do. Whether they keep their snooping secret or openly demand that you must share everything with them, it is a violation of boundaries from the get-go. Perhaps he or she checks your phone, logs into your email, or constantly tracks your Internet history, and then justifies this by saying they've been burned before, have trust issues, or the old standard: "If you're not doing anything wrong, then you shouldn't mind showing me." It's a violation of your privacy, hand-in-hand with the unsettling message that they have no interest in trusting you and instead want to take on a police-like presence within your relationship. 9. Overactive jealousy, accusations, or paranoia. A partner's jealousy can be flattering in the beginning; it can arguably be viewed as endearing, or a sign of how much they care or how attached they are. When it becomes more intense, however, it can be scary and possessive. A partner who views every interaction you have as being flirtatious, is suspicious or threatened by multiple people you come in contact with, or faults you for innocent interactions because they may be "leading someone on" may be insecure, anxious, competitive or even paranoid. Additionally, when this perspective becomes ingrained within your relationship, they very likely are attempting to be controlling as well. 10. Not respecting your need for time alone. It's another way of sapping your strength: making you feel guilty for time you need on your own to recharge, or making you feel like you don't love them enough when you perhaps need less time with them than they need with you. It is natural that two partners may not automatically have the exact same needs in terms of alone time, even if they are both extroverts (or introverts). In healthy relationships, communication about those needs leads to a workable compromise. In controlling ones, the person needing the alone time is made out to be a villain or denied the time altogether, taking away yet another way they can strengthen themselves. 11. Making you "earn" trust or other good treatment. Of course you will trust someone you've dated for five years more than you trust the person you've been seeing for a month. But some amount of trust should be assumed or inherent within the relationship. For instance, as mentioned, you shouldn't always have to detail your whereabouts for every moment of every day, nor should your partner automatically have the right to access your email or texts or Internet search history. If trust or even civil treatment is viewed as something you need to work up to rather than the default setting of the relationship, the power dynamic in your relationship is off-kilter. 12. Presuming you're guilty until proven innocent. Again, a controlling person is often very skilled at making you feel that you've done something wrong even before you realize what you did. You may walk in the door to find them already angry about something that they found, thought about, or decided in your absence. And they may keep "evidence" of your wrongdoing to a point that you may feel they've got a whole case against you-even if you don't quite understand it. From where you put their favorite coffee mug to whether you had lunch with a coworker without them knowing, you will always be assumed to have had criminal motives. Why do they do this? To use it as justification for punishing you in some way, or preemptively trying to keep you from making that "error" again-to keep you acting in ways they want you to.
i once confided in a friend that the main reason i would never buy a gun is for the same reason jim talked about. my friend wasn't shocked, just kinda confused. but it was so overwhelmingly emotional for me to hear jim say that because i've never heard anyone else say that. love you guys and the show so much!
I was horribly depressed in high school (started when I was 10) and I was not on social media. I do think social media is a huge influence on kids’ self-esteem though, so could definitely be a big contributor these days. I definitely still struggle with it, but it’s either not as bad as it was, or I’ve learned to cope with it better.
And it’s weird, because I found myself weighing the pros and cons of suicide, in (what I felt was) a rational, unemotional way. I didn’t want to hurt my loved ones, but I was exhausted by feeling the way I did all the time.
I remember one time driving home from work, and I remember exactly where I was when I heard this, someone on the radio talking about depression and suicide and him saying “I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal to think about killing yourself every day” and I realized that was true for me as well. Your brain really does get into a loop and you lose perspective.
This was a great conversation 👍
Just as I'm spiraling into my depressing thoughts, Jim uploads this gem to lighten things up
I listen to podcasts all day to dispel the silence that allows and encourages those spiralling thoughts to occur.. Hope you're OK man
@@jd-og2098 Yeah I've learnt not to let the silence in. My headphones are probably fused to my head but the music and podcasts keep the darkness at bay.
A close mate of mine took his own life last Monday. Tell your people you love them.
Ollie was a proud advocate for men’s mental health. Any donation towards Beyond Blue, if you’re able, would be greatly appreciated.
Remember we are all in this together ❤️
Reach out brothers
😿😿😿
So sorry for your loss.😞 Take care.
Sorry to hear that man.
I know if many people who have taken their lives in the last year.
If not for the responsibility I have to my child I'd very likely be one of them.
The way the world has been handled is disgusting.
Sorry to hear, condolences!
Sorry to hear that sending my condolences
Kati was exceptionally pleasant to listen to, this was a great episode.
Love this podcast! Jim's openness on this topic has helped me a lot too. You're a legend!
Jim and Burr's advert reads are the best.
I've said this before, its true. The only ads worth listening too.
I was thinking the same thing. Surely Butcher Box is getting their best money’s worth from those two blokes. Those wild Alaskan salmon you don’t know what they’re gonna do! I would’ve supported the sponsors if they were available in Aus lol
Conan and Norm get some honorable mentions here too.
Cumtown beats them all
Well they'd better be, taking up a third of the whole episode.
Thank you for tackling such a serious subject, opening up about your own issues with it, and pulling off making it a fun episode. Also, get Jack on camera, as well. Maybe that Mexican guy, too.
This podcast is getting better and better. I feel for you, Kelly.🤗🌻🌹Been struggling with depression and negative self image my entire life due to a very traumatic childhood. Shows like this are important! And the so-called social media is a fucking CANCER slowly devouring society. Keep up the good work, guys.👍👍🍺🥃
Possibly the best episode yet. Piss-funny and genuinely really engaging. (I only got five minutes into the last episode once your guest came on) I work for a mental health Trust in the NHS and thought it was pretty good as a public health information service as well!
This wasn't your funniest podcast... but was absolutely the BEST. Proper topic with a proper conversation that can affect everyone. I saw Jim (and Forrest)'s show in Seoul a few years back. I'm a fan. This was the best reply to last week's 'nonsense' topic.
Thank you for doing this one.
This is a really good episode, you guys have been knocking them out of the park recently. I really like the team you have and hearing the jokes but also the honesty coming from you all as you speak about this is really cool.
Keep it up!
I wanna thank you Jim, your my favourite comedian and I have so much respect for and how honest you are about all of the things you have been through. I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression since I was about 12 and I’m 30 now and it caused all sorts of problems in my life. The COVID situation has made it all worse, but you make me feel like there is a reason to keep going g and I thank you.I find you an inspiration and love your pod cast, keep up the good work dude
So many comedy podcasts but this one makes me LOL. Jim, Forest, Kelly,Jack. and even Louis. You are much loved !!!
Great topic. I've suffered from depression a few years ago so I monitor myself. Specially when I am too anxious. Keeping traumas and pain in a some sort of invisible box doesn't help. When I had suicidal thoughts I used to think my family would be much better without me. I felt I didn't had a purpose so I can relate to all you've discussed.
Some people still think that depression is sth people can chose and that if a person wants it, it just goes away.
Education on mental health is needed. Thanks Jim for talking about it.
I've suffered from depression since being a teenager but I can control it a lot better now. I went through phases of genuinely thinking my daughter would be better off without me. I was having severe depressive episodes. Now she's 14 and it makes me feel guilty that I thought that but I know now that it's because I was in a very dark place. Now I know she needs me and we've got a great relationship. Everyday is a fight but that's okay, it's worth the struggle.
Jim wins the award for best interpretive ad reading. Cracks me up every time-reminds me of my pop creatively reading me bedtime stories when I was a kid.
Have to say this is the first podcast from yourselves that ive not gone to instantly because of the subject and personal fears. Subject was handled and spoken about with sensitivity and from the heart which is lovely to hear people just being open and real. I hope many hear this and come away from it as i have, feeling normal. Keep up the podcasts and love to all
Fantastic episode. Thank you all for sharing in something that is so personal and difficult.
Strength and love.
Only podcast that I don’t skip the add reads.
Going through it right now and really needed to hear this.
i think this is the best podcast you guys have done keep up the good work guys and thank you
Finally a topic I'm an expert in. 20 years experience in the field. I'm 33.
Sorry to hear mate, I've been depressed until just before 40. Then they found out I was adhd as f*ck, and with some therapy and medication, finally all depression just cleared away like mist on a chilly summer morning. I hope you'll find your cause and manage to ascend out of it!
Ha, close on 30 years! I'm 43. Takes the win. Hang in there mate. Like Jim has said in his stand up before, just got to outlive it, keep on top of it, forgive yourself for those dark times. And, as I'm listening to Jim now, get to the other side like Jim's Dad. Best.
Been on Zoloft since i was 12, don’t know what I’m like without it 😅
@@Rona44 My doc gave me Zoloft when I was 7. It was new on the market at the time so I have to wonder if I wasn't a lab rat to see if it was safe for children.
@@CrystalLynn1988 oh boy😅 well I thank you for your service
Hi IDKAT crew, I'm a long time fan of Jim in general and the show specifically, I've listened to every episode, except half of the episode on pies and breaking bad because I haven't seen breaking bad yet but I'm considering watching the whole show just for those 20 minutes,
I suffer from depression a few years now and this episode meant a lot to me, as well as Jim's bits about depression in his stand-up. The episode made me cry a bit which was a bit awkward because I was at the at a supermarket. I shared the episode with everybody I know. Thank you all for real for this episode. And happy birthday to Jim, hope you liked the video I sent :)
Forrest when he speaks is like a teddy bear running out of battery power.
He needs to fully bore-off. Cant stand him
I hope this makes comment world next week @jackhackett I legit burst out laughing reading this 🤣😂😆
If covid had a face and q voice it would be forrest
Made comment world, made my day, and made Jim laugh! Today is a great day! ❤️
Great podcast,
Lots of love to you all at IDKAT.
Especially the ones behind the scenes.
I loved seeing Katie on Where's My Mom's At also. Nice pick you guys! This is a timely topic for sure. Thank you❤
Kati is great! It's funny to see her actually holding back on her humor after being introduced to her by her friendship with Christina P. She's been on Where My Mom's At? a number of times, which I highly recommend.
This is a very enlightening episode. Thank u Jim.
Great show!!! Important topic and thanks for being open to sharing your experiences
Jim the more you talk about your Mum the more I love her and I am so happy she was in your life.
Kati is great. Shes on Where my moms at podcast a lot. I started listening to Ask Kati Anything. She's really relatable with her explanations
knew she looked familiar, thnx for confirming mommy. love you.
You guys are great and I love you!
The quality of the pod really has gone up good job girls and boys and whatever jack is! And here's a motto someone told me in middle school and I never forgot it. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." No matter what happens in life it will eventually in some way shape or form get better. Life is a rollercoaster with ups and downs. And death is natural and inevitable so once you accept these things they help out certain people
I always enjoy IDKAT, and I enjoyed this one. But you've also done some real good to discuss this and talk about it in public. I've had Bi-Polar for many decades, and what was said here was spot-on and rang very true to me. It wouldn't surprise me if this episode even saves a few lives. Nice work.
I see we've returned to actual experts this week, that's good.
Kelly made a point that I very much agree with, yet rarely hear mentioned.
When day to day life is just an endurance event, when you get no pleasure from anything, just pain, then ending that can make logical sense in your mind.
If a person was in constant physical pain, and ended their life, many would at least be able to understand why they did it, even if they did not agree.
Yet for a person who does not suffer from mental illness, it is almost impossile to understand how bad having to exist feeling this way is.
Go for it.
The 12 step program has a saying that is a constant tool I use and offered to everyone:
“Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle”.
I agree. If you haven't been there, you can't fully understand it. And most people have not been that close to the edge.
My interest in psychology started today, with Kati. :-D
I have so much respect for Forrest, what he said about Dustin Diamond was really great. Perspective.
When im depressed I fluctuate. Sometimes I will oversleep for weeks or I will sleep 2-3 hours a night for weeks.
Thanks for the honesty you all approached this subject with. I assume everyone I meet is fucked up because life leaves very few people unfucked. We are all just trying to get through with as little pain as possible. Great show!
38:44 "...tush on ya pot? Have ya got a little hello tushy on ya pot, on ya little pot pot! Where you have ya poo poos!" Hahaha, I lost it :'D
I Loved how you all defended and backed your mates at the start of the show. Good stuff!
I think environment plays a much larger role than psychologists think. So much emphasis is put on "chemical imbalances" and pills being the solution. But many people have experienced significant trauma, that scars us, shapes us as people, then when a traumatized person raises children that traumatized personality plays a profound role on the kid's personality.
Love a new Jim jefferies upload! At 04:23 there's a certificate on the wall,I didn't know jim jefferies was qualified in medicine and surgery!
So glad people are talking about mental health more and more
He's a brain surgeon!
This episode is really chillin' my buzz... 😜
Brilliant episode!
Forcing yourself for a daily walk (~30mins) - outside if possible - does a lot of good. I suffer from chronic migraines and I take a small daily dose of Entrip 10mg (amitriptyline hydrochloride) and because of my condition I often just walk on the treadmill (often listen/watching something at the same time). It does help... I couldn't tell you why, maybe it's the brain releasing chemicals, maybe its the bloodflow through the body. My Neurologist strongly recommends his patients do a little bit of exercise every day (if they are able), doesn't have to be anything crazy - a simply walk out side can be quite beneficial. Of cause it's never that simple when you feel like shit... so to anyone that has been feeling a bit low lately, perhaps make a playlist of your favourite tunes and take 30 mins out of your day tomorrow and go for a walk. If you are unable to go outside and do not have a treadmill - make up a stretch routine, a goal of touching your toes! Spend ~10 - 15mins each day, inching closer to that goal!
Thank you for this episode
This episode could use a sequel!
this was a great show well done all
Best of yet guys!
I forgot how much Jim helped me get though my sad days. When your happier it’s easy to forget what helps you back to happy One request looking for a good/funny weed strain name. Hoping you could help thanks for the funny
Thanks Jack, now I have the ''comment world'' theme playing over and over and over in my head.
It will be great to see Jack too while he speaks
Thank you for this
I met Dustin when the show first started. Him and his dad were outside Albertsons grocery store in Anaheim CA. We chatted for an hour or so. They were cool people. Not long after I found out a friend knew Dustin from a catholic school.
This really helped watching it a second time.
Wow Kelly really shared her soul on this one. Thanks for speaking your truth. As funny as this one was it was equally somber. As always a good podcast.
Intelligent people often seem to be really happy to me. People like Richard Dawkins, Laurence Krauss, Neil deGrasse Tyson, etc. There may well be a certain level of intelligence where you start to question everything and that can maybe make you depressed, but going beyond that elementary scepticism there's a whole world of wonder and intellectual engagement that I think intelligent people can't help but be excited by.
FUCK YEHA GOT A SHOUT OUT ON MY POOIN COMMENT !! LOVE U JACK
Lol, I didn't knew that intro neither. 😅
I will keep listening! 😂
47:58 that's exactly right jim, . . l reached that point that everybody would be better off without me, . . an early dog walker interrupted my attempt.
Wow...Thanks for this podcast.
56:15 “Sorrow is knowledge: they who know the most must mourn the deepest o’er the fatal truth, the Tree of Knowledge is not that of Life.” - Byron
Facts
I have suffered multiple strokes (TIA) and I don't think I was ever the same.
Thank you Kelly and Jim, This meant the world to me. People don't get this.
Watching from Canada. I love the IDKAT podcast! Jim is my favourie comedian! I laugh and learn at the same time! Keep up the great work guys!!
PS Can Jack please read more erotica, that was a great segment!! Much love to all of you ❤❤❤
Great episode! Shout out to all my bipolar sisters and brothers from another mother.
I do the Nazi documentary thing too, and listening to this I can relate to a lot of what Jim and Kelly are saying. Not so much Forest. I'm gonna keep coming back to this when I get depressed.
OMG!!
Kati !!!!!
I love her so much
Great podcast Jim.
Comparing ourselves to others is definitely a catalyst to depression. For me, it's a learned condition caused by external factors. Being ugly and alone and poor your entire life is not something that can be treated by medication or therapy. I know that my life is worse than most everyone else my age (late 30s). All I have are regrets to look back on. Suicide is 100% a probability.
I'm in the same boat. Find that one thing to hold on for.
I can definitely relate to what you are saying man, how can you treat something that has always been there, something you know to your very core to be fact. But if you say that to a Dr they want to know why you think that etc, like there was one defining moment, if that was the case I would know what to say, what to work on. Or they say something like, but you know that's not true etc etc. I have never had any Dr or therapist that has, as far as I can tell, tried to help me deal with these feelings that have always been there, and when I finally start to release and scratch the surface of how I really feel about myself, about every aspect of myself, from failure to circumstantial, well the guy I still see occasionally has just never asked those questions again. Now I just tell him if I'm up or down from last time and he gives me my prescription. So this IS the part that has helped me, and the thing I wantec to comment on, medication obviously (unfortunately) doesn't help everyone, and it can be, and was for me, a difficult process to find 1 that helps. The biggest danger is taking one that makes it worse, but I was lucky that I recognised what was happening and stopped taking it straight away. I am now on something that has pulled me out of that spiral, or whatever you want to call it, and it has made a big difference, I do feel way clearer, and the voice that stops me from trying again has returned so I am out of "danger," but definitely not functional. I am now back to the way I've felt all my life and I know I always will, but I have been down the point of no return and now I know what it looks like, or at least I know the signs to look out for if that makes sense, and I actually want to prevent it happening again, which is actually a huge win for me, and recognising that is a win, in fact, saying anything is a win, is a win.
All I am trying to say man, is PLEASE don't give up. Please keep trying to reach out, you never know when something might come along that makes a difference. I recently discovered a guy here on RUclips called Dr Gundry who has so much information about how much our gut health and what we eat can affect our lives. Yes, he has products and books etc, but some of the videos I have seen he doesn't say, buy my stuff to find out what you need to do etc, he actually tells you a tonne of info so you can make big changes for people who either can't or aren't willing to buy his books and products. What I've heard so far makes so much sense to me, changing what I eat is something that has a real chance of helping imo, and who knows, if you look him up and watch a podcast or 2, he also has lots of short posts about products etc, but his hour+ podcasts are filled with so much info about leaky gut and tips for things we can do now, for me at least I figure it can't hurt if it doesn't cost me anything and isn't a fad diet, it's just about replacing 1 vegetable for another that is way more beneficial for a huge range of health problems, so I think that might make a difference for me anyway, and if you do look into it I really hope you can get some use out of it as well.
I am sorry I have rambled on for so long, but your message really felt familiar, and my heart for real felt the pain in your words and I just want to say for what it's worth that I am so sorry you are going through this. But I know 1 thing for sure, pressing Send on a message you write that expresses that pain, whether it is your first-ever or one of many, pressing Send is Extremely Brave man (oh sorry,... or lady 🤔😊) In the past so many of mine got deleted before I sent it, so I can at least relate to how hard that can be, obviously we are all different and I might not be able to relate to what has brought you to this point, but I am hoping something made sense to you.
And I hope I'm not being preachy, I was more trying to explain why I related to your words. I really hope to hear back from you with any response good or bad, and thankyou for being so brave and sharing your thoughts. 😊👍👊
I bet there are people in your life that would be shocked to hear you feel that way. Please do reach out to someone you trust
@@pearcecooper7666 Spoken like someone who's never actually gone through any of this shit.
I definitely know about that
I know this is old but im still working though episodes and this is a really good one.👍👍
Love the show you old convict. Hey Jim what's your favourite Beatles album?
I don't listen to ads but when I do it's on the Jim Jefferies podcast.
Wow. I didn't know about this podcast with Jim Jefferies!
Pretty nice and empathetic thoughtful remarks about screech. Fair play.
My favorite screech moment: screech fucks up danny bonaducci on celebrity boxing! Lol
Came to this podcast thinking it was Rhys Darby...got this guy instead...that Kelly girl is a stone Cold PHOT though so I stuck around and actually learned something about depression...actually I know you jim jefferies...saw you at the Tulalip Casino where they paid you obscene amounts to make fun of the Asian high rollers who had no idea who you are lol.
Dysthymia and Hyperthymic are of the same class though there are differences that can make it hard to distinguish. Diagnosed Hyperthymic, always moving at high speed, annoying optimist, lows. My son is Dysthymic , we've worked together with therapy for 30 years.
I used to smoke grass and go into nature and look at birds. I also saw my first badger whilst stoned. I don't smoke the grass anymore but I still look at birds and have a £500 telescope and some £800 binoculars and have been to Spain, Russia, USA looking at birds and NOT getting stoned.
Though watching a flock of bright pink flamingoes fly over me in Spain was LIKE being stoned.
Robert Allen Palmer (19 January 1949 - 26 September 2003)
I’ve often thought, why isn’t everyone depressed?
Stay for the party fact people!!
Aw. I'm now thinking about John Denver, and feeling sad. 😢
we are going to grow up as young 20-something adults, butt our heads against some situations. Sometimes, we'll get past those situations thanks to the care of others around us. Sometimes we need a bit more help to understand why we should keep going forward... For those of us who have gotten past those situations... we might then meet new situations! Well.. I don't know about that.. Cheers Geoff and crew.
Best intro so far lol 😂 #GreatSuccess
I've used proactive it works. I actually listen to Jim's ads and I can't stand f.....g Commercials. thanks for talking about this I suffer myself.
Jim, somewhere in the podcast you asked if there is such a disability as being “too happy” as in, the opposite of depression. There’s a condition called Angelman Syndrome which promotes sociability and laughter, check it out if you’re interested in learning more.
well done!
solid intro!
"So there are people committing suicide that are in a good mood"
man this is brilliat no fucking elephant in the room..when the pubs openin ..a happy paddy
So glad you guys had Hannah McKay on. Should of asked her about the poisoning and that guy Dexter.
And please do a Beatles episode!!
That was decent from Forrest, saying a few honest words about Dustin. There is a lesson here: *Do Not! Let your kids go down avenues of fame. It's obviously not good for fragile/developing minds.*
You wouldn't push your child onto a railway track on the off chance, he, might not, get hit by a train.
This helped :)
Isn’t Kari Morton in some dramas for exploiting other RUclipsrs? Either way super proud that y’all talk about topics like depression and mental health. Best wishes!
1. Isolating you from friends and family. It may start subtly, but this is often a first step for a controlling person. Maybe they complain about how often you talk to your brother on the phone, or say they don't like your best friend and don't think you should hang out with her anymore. Or they try to turn you against anyone that you're used to relying on for support besides them. Their goal is to strip you of your support network, and thus your strength-so that you will be less likely or able to stand up against them whenever they want to "win."
2. Chronic criticism-even for small things. Criticism, like isolation, is also something that can start small. In fact, someone may try to convince themselves that their partner's criticism of them is warranted, or that their partner is just trying to help them be a better person. Or they may try to rationalize it, saying that it's not such a big deal that he or she doesn't like the way they dress or speak or eat or decorate their house and that they shouldn't take it personally. But ultimately, no matter how individually small a criticism seems, if it's part of a constant dynamic within your relationship, it would be very tough to feel accepted, loved, or validated. If every little thing you do could use improvement in your partner's eyes, then how are you being valued as a true equal, let alone loved unconditionally?
3. Veiled or overt threats, against you or them. Some people think that threats have to be physical in nature to be problematic. But threats of leaving, cutting off "privileges," or even threats by the controlling person to harm herself or himself can be every bit as emotionally manipulative as the threat of physical violence. It is not unheard of for the partner being controlled to feel stuck in a relationship not out of fear that they themselves will be harmed, but that their partner may self-destruct or harm themselves if they were to leave. Other times, a person may be threatened with losing their home, access to their children, or financial support if they leave a controlling or abusive partner (or are left by them). Whether or not the threats are genuine, it is just another way for the controlling person to get what they want at the expense of their partner.
4. Making acceptance/caring/attraction conditional. "I love you so much more when you're making those sales at work." "I don't feel like being intimate with you. But if you keep working out and lose a bit more weight, you'll be more attractive to me." "If you can't even be bothered to make dinner, I don't even know what I'm getting from this relationship." "You'd be hot if only you spent more time on your hair." "If you'd actually finished college, you'd have something to talk about with my friends and wouldn't feel so left out." Though some of these examples are more blatant than others, the message is the same: You, right now, are not good enough. It's the common-denominator theme of many a controlling relationship.
5. An overactive scorecard. Healthy, stable relationships have a sense of reciprocity built into them. It's inherent that you will look out for each other, and not bean-count every little time you do something to help the other out. If your partner always keeps tally of every last interaction within your relationship-whether to hold a grudge, demand a favor in return, or be patted on the back-it could very well be their way of having the upper hand. And it can be downright exhausting.
6. Using guilt as a tool. Many controlling people are skilled manipulators at making their partner's own emotions work in the controlling person's favor. If they can manipulate their partners into feeling a steady stream of guilt about everyday goings-on, then a lot of the controlling person's work is done for them-their partners will gradually try to do whatever they can to not have to feel guilty. Often this means relenting and giving up power and their own dissenting opinion within the relationship, which plays right into the controlling person's hands.
7. Creating a debt you're beholden to. Controlling people may come on very strongly in the beginning with seemingly romantic gestures. But upon closer inspection, many of those gestures-extravagant gifts, expectations of serious commitment early on, taking you for luxurious meals or on adventurous outings, letting you have full use of their car or home when they're not there-can be used to control you. Specifically, they create an expectation of you giving something in return, or a sense that you feel beholden to that person because of all they've given you. This can make it more emotionally and logistically difficult to escape when further warning bells go off.
8. Spying, snooping, or requiring constant disclosure. A controlling partner typically feels that they have the right to know more than they actually do. Whether they keep their snooping secret or openly demand that you must share everything with them, it is a violation of boundaries from the get-go. Perhaps he or she checks your phone, logs into your email, or constantly tracks your Internet history, and then justifies this by saying they've been burned before, have trust issues, or the old standard: "If you're not doing anything wrong, then you shouldn't mind showing me." It's a violation of your privacy, hand-in-hand with the unsettling message that they have no interest in trusting you and instead want to take on a police-like presence within your relationship.
9. Overactive jealousy, accusations, or paranoia. A partner's jealousy can be flattering in the beginning; it can arguably be viewed as endearing, or a sign of how much they care or how attached they are. When it becomes more intense, however, it can be scary and possessive. A partner who views every interaction you have as being flirtatious, is suspicious or threatened by multiple people you come in contact with, or faults you for innocent interactions because they may be "leading someone on" may be insecure, anxious, competitive or even paranoid. Additionally, when this perspective becomes ingrained within your relationship, they very likely are attempting to be controlling as well.
10. Not respecting your need for time alone. It's another way of sapping your strength: making you feel guilty for time you need on your own to recharge, or making you feel like you don't love them enough when you perhaps need less time with them than they need with you. It is natural that two partners may not automatically have the exact same needs in terms of alone time, even if they are both extroverts (or introverts). In healthy relationships, communication about those needs leads to a workable compromise. In controlling ones, the person needing the alone time is made out to be a villain or denied the time altogether, taking away yet another way they can strengthen themselves.
11. Making you "earn" trust or other good treatment. Of course you will trust someone you've dated for five years more than you trust the person you've been seeing for a month. But some amount of trust should be assumed or inherent within the relationship. For instance, as mentioned, you shouldn't always have to detail your whereabouts for every moment of every day, nor should your partner automatically have the right to access your email or texts or Internet search history. If trust or even civil treatment is viewed as something you need to work up to rather than the default setting of the relationship, the power dynamic in your relationship is off-kilter.
12. Presuming you're guilty until proven innocent. Again, a controlling person is often very skilled at making you feel that you've done something wrong even before you realize what you did. You may walk in the door to find them already angry about something that they found, thought about, or decided in your absence. And they may keep "evidence" of your wrongdoing to a point that you may feel they've got a whole case against you-even if you don't quite understand it. From where you put their favorite coffee mug to whether you had lunch with a coworker without them knowing, you will always be assumed to have had criminal motives. Why do they do this? To use it as justification for punishing you in some way, or preemptively trying to keep you from making that "error" again-to keep you acting in ways they want you to.
"Grass fed chicken"? Jim obviously needs a "Agriculture" episode, anyone who finished High School can be the Guest! (Love Jim though!)
Chickens that free range do eat grass.. so he's not wrong.