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The Mental Load: Wives And Mothers | Boundaries For Titus 2
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- Опубликовано: 15 авг 2024
- Overwhelmed? Let's talk about what it means and doesn't mean to be a Titus 2 wife/mother. This is part two in my series and I'll be talking about what to do when bad habits have set in a family, and handling the overwhelm that comes with the mental load so many of us women are carrying.
FIND PART 1 HERE
• The Mental Load on Wom...
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I'm Shayla, an earthy mountain mama to 6 wildlings, & a blessed wife to one since 2004. We're a big, Jesus loving, God fearing family & we love to laugh! Hubby & I are second generation homeschoolers, & have been homeschooling our children from the start-since around 2009. We were raised unconventionally, and our parents utilized homesteading before it was trendy, and it was a goal and dream of ours to do the same-but it's only been recently that we have been able to bring this dream to full potential. Last year the Heavenly Father brought to life our dream that we've had for over 25 years and enabled us to begin buying a mountain homestead fixer upper, so join us in the adventures and fun here at our new homeschool/homestead! Be sure to subscribe. In 2023 my goal is to upload once a month.
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Overwhelmed? Let's talk about what it means and doesn't mean to be a Titus 2 wife/mother. This is part two in my series and I'll be talking about what to do when bad habits have set in a family, and handling the overwhelm that comes with the mental load so many of us women are carrying.
There is a whole new class of mothers that most don't think about. Its the grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren. We already did our first tour and now we are doing our second. Due to drug addiction with their children, many grandmothers are having raise that child's kids. It is so overwhelming and exhausting. I don't have the energy that I used to have. I'm 30 yrs past my prime to be raising children again. I took my granddaughter in when she was 6 1/2 months old. I delt with sleep deprivation (due to being addicted as a baby, she never slept), an addicted baby, medical issues I had no idea how to deal with. There was no help for me and no one my age that could identify with what I was going through.
Many nights I went to bed crying myself to sleep because of exhaustion and frustration. Praying for a miracle that my daughter would somehow wake up and get well so I could be a grandmother instead of a parent again. That prayer was not answered then, so we have adopted my granddaughter. We will raise her till we are very old. I'm 65 now. God has been faithful and brought help when I needed it. Somehow, I walked through cancer on top of everything and still was able to continue care for her. I give God all the glory.
I'm sorry this is long. But as for energy, I don't have any. Every day I struggle to run and take care of her. Summers are the worst for me bc I try to find things to give her to do and keep her from being bored or on the phone. But as long as I'm able, I will continue to care and love her. As for managing my home, its a crap shoot. A whole lot harder than it was before due to my age. But God is faithful and walks with me through it all. My daughter is now clean and has been for 3 yrs, working and doing well, but she is not a Christian, so we will continue to raise her daughter in the faith. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and scripture to encourage us, it most certainly does. God bless sweet lady!
I am overwhelmed to the point of extreme stress and anxiety causing chest pain, arm pain, I am in chronic pain. I have 6 children 9 and under and raise them in Texas (our family is in Ohio - my husband was in the Navy for 17 years, so we did it alone for 10 years in Virginia!) with just my husband. No help. Nothing. The only day off I've had was in 2020 in the emergency room having heart tests done because I was so stressed out. When you brought up the stroke... it's such a real statistic but I am deathly (no pun intended) of dying from a heart attack or stroke because of the stress. I try my best to cut back and change things to simplify but these young years are hard. I will take any advice possible. And prayer. Please. Please pray for me. I am burnt out. And right now, my chest and arms hurt. I can't be alone.
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this, Kelley. I will pray for you. The best advice I can give you is to get therapy asap! Don't wait. Make the call today! Last summer I graduated 3 years of therapy, and it was one of the best things I did for myself. I used to suffer like you and the therapy taught me coping skills that made such a difference. I hope this helps, Dear. You are not the first and won't be the last to go through this, so please know you are not alone. Keep me posted.
I am praying for you right now. Please know you are not alone. I struggle with this also and I don’t have kids, but deal with health issues and chronic pain which causes anxiety. May the Lord give you peace and rest.
Praying for you Kelly, it’s hard because it IS hard, not because you’re not doing enough. I only have four kids and they are older now but I have felt burnt out so many times-to the point of crying my guts out in the bathroom (trying to not let them hear) while kids pound on the door. My husband worked so much and I had no family around. The anxiety and stress can be almost debilitating at times, Sending you so much love ❤
🙏🏽
From personal experience, it's possible that the pain you're feeling is your connective tissue spazzing out because you have too much tension stored in your physical body. There's lots of info available about the connection between tense connective tissue/fascia and fibromyalgia. I have found exercises that help relax the connective tissue and muscles to be very helpful.
Check out the RUclips channel Franklin Method: embodiment and imagery. They've got very short videos (
I just discovered your channel and what a blessing 🙏🏻 I needed a mama to talk about burnout and just the common struggle. Motherhood feels so isolating at times.
Whoa... whoa!!! Wait... I absolutely KNOWWWW God led me to this video! This is EXACTLY where I am RIGHT NOW! Thank you for this! I honestly felt like no one was listening when I was crying out about being tired! My God... it warms my heart that God heard my cry!!❤❤❤❤❤
Praise the Lord! I'm so thankful this has blessed you, thank you for telling me!
Great video. I am home now with my 2 daughters. I lost my job during the pandemic and worked for 17 years in the medical field. As a choice my husband I decided that I stay home now with my kids. I felt that the Lord had this for me in my life now. For years I wanted to stay home with my kids but financially was not possible. I do want to say that it was very hard to work a fulltime job. I had to be a fulltime worker and a mom. It was very stressful. My husband is very happy and I notice my daughters are happier and closer since I have been home. I am so thankful I am able to do this. At times it is stressful at home, but I have learned if it cant be done in 1 day, there is always tomorrow.
Also I’m a new subscriber, love your content
WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED OVER 41 YRS. My church just did a MIDWIVE CONFERENCE ON TITUS 2 WOMAN. I was one of the speakers. IT WAS OFF THE HOOK FOR JESUS. Good Advice. STTB
You have brought me so much hope. I appreciate your openness with us.
I have always been silently worried that people like me (no help and mentally different with trauma) couldn’t have big families. Like it was off limits. I cried watching part 1 of this because you made it seem possible. Maybe not easy but I don’t need easy.
Thank you so much for these videos. They’re like a gift. 🥺
I’m not legalistic either and I find that opens my heart even more to God’s love and messages. Context matters.
I have a big family and had to return to full-time work outside the home a year ago. It wasn’t my desire, but helping my husband and providing for our family is a bigger priority.
Great video and I also enjoyed part 1❤😊
I cannot tell you how happy I am that God sent your content to me. I struggle with the idea that I’m supposed to be something specific and only care about that and ask my husband for everything and not be a human being with wants and needs and goals that don’t always have to do with goals at home.
Thank you for telling me this!
You spoke for all women in this video. Everyone gets tired, overwhelmed, and feels like a loser at times, for various reasons. But being a wife, mom, etc. Is the most important job ever. I feel like today's society down plays a woman's role at home. This for me was one of my biggest struggles, realizing the worth and my worth when the world says those things are not important. I knew they were, but nobody else seemed to. When I was in public, I felt a lot of negative judgement from other because I put my family as a first!
Oh my goodness, this video and your encouragement is speaking to exactly where I've been. Wow. I'm so grateful to God. I had to pause the video, and rewind so many times to soak it all in, so good! It brought me to tears because although yes my health has been struggling in the last 2 years especially, and yes our home life is struggling so much, I am called to Remain in the Lord. Some of these struggles are so real, and I'm glad, or relieved that God knows and sees all. I'm currently in therapy too (or counseling...wondering what's the difference?) and it's been so very helpful to even communicate the areas of stress, and realize that I've struggled with performance issues so much that I have such a hard wire in me that I'm to do it all, and do it all well, or I'm a failure. Wow, that is so not the truth, but it's been so hard to get away from. God bless you so much for being so real and sharing His truth in regards to us "Home Keepers". 🙂
I SO appreciate your pointing out that Scripture should be read and interpreted “in context.”
Quite possibly my new favorite channel. Thankyou so much!!!
You are simply amazing to be the wife, mother, homemaker and woman of God that you are. How you balance it all with grace. You are such a wonderful inspiration. Thank you for always sharing the victories, the pitfalls and hardships. Thank you for being so genuine. 🌻
That is so interesting about the strokes in women. It is sad. There are a lot of heart issues in my family and one of my brothers had a stroke at 34 years of age, so I always get checked up and seem to have the least amount of stress or anxiety in the family, plus I lead a healthy lifestyle on top of it. I'll be 40 this year and have been married 19 years and really think it is so easy to have a good marriage with a man who works with you and cares for you. Teamwork is so vital.
Great podcast today. It was nice to listen to while I was nursing.
In that cut scene at the end, was that you holding in a sneeze??
Thank you for talking about husbands and over compensating. It’s something I’ve recently realized. Plus I’m going through menopause and that function alone adds anxiety naturally through hormone imbalances. I’m learning to ask for help, learning to say I’m overwhelmed and learning to give my body and brain a break when it’s telling me it needs it.
Thank you for sharing and reminding us of this precious Bible verses! Mental load is so prevalent. Fellow mother, homemaker and homeschooler here. Your encouragement was needed!
The wine part - ha ha! :)
Thank you for imparting so much wisdom! I am a 30 year old stay at home momma of boys and your words have encouraged me so much! I was just soaking every word in ❤
You are welcome! Thank you for commenting!
Keeping or managing a home can include outsourcing! Keeping or managing a business does include outsourcing - if one person is doing too much, it creates a bottleneck and the business can stop growing, and even die... historically, businesses were smaller, local, and often run out of the family home, with the whole family involved in some way, so what applies to business still applies to the home (in my book).
Delegate to the kids who are old enough (this means train them in the skills necessary), outsource to others (hire for deep cleaning, invite a good friend to do a cleaning "swap" while your kids distract each other, etc); make systems and routines simple, get clear on what and where you're getting bogged down and get it sorted out (even if you that means deleting things from your home/life).
We are not slaves! Figure out what is serving you and your family, and what is enslaving you - keep what serves and delete what enslaves. Something that served you well in the past may be a burden in the current season ❤ let it go and focus on what serves you now.
Such great advice, thank you for sharing!
The last sentence has me cracking up!
😂😂😂
Thank you. You are awesome
I was literally looking for your channel! I just did a video about depression. I have not found anyone else on RUclips that talks about homemaking and depression being in Christ. I knew where to come. It is a touchy topic but we can definitely overcome with the help of the Lord!
So helpful Shayla! And you're so right about the anxiety. Sometimes it can be there and we don't even realize it. God is so good to give us His Word to help us and His presence to give us peace. Thank you!! 💗
Well said! And finished with a big laugh 😂. Thank you Shayla! Praying for rain here in the Midwest, we desperately need it.
Blessings, Linda
LOVED all of the Scripture! New subscriber here. I felt like you were speaking my heart and mind. I grew up with two working parents, my husband grew up with a stay at home mom. Sometimes I'm afraid his expectations are that I make life like it was for him. But this is only year two, going into year three of being at home after being a teacher. I stayed home after having our second baby and what a huge transition it all was. I'm SO thankful to be at home. It's my dream, but that doesn't change the fact that it's hard. I'm now pregnant with our third and I find myself having anxiety about how I'm going to live up to my own expectations of myself when this baby comes.
I'm so glad you found this helpful, Stacey! Yes, after a baby comes it's survival mode for awhile for sure.
Thank you. I didnt know i needed this. I look forward to more on ur channel.
You are so welcome!
Thank you for this podcast.
You are welcome!
Thank you for your videos, I love them. I'm trying to re-watch one where you show us your customisable planner but can't find it again!!
Hello Nicole, it might be in the homeschool mama memberships now as it was not being found by YT algorithm.
You're so amazing❤️ can't stress enough how much I love your chanel + how much I treasure the wisdom you share. A friend, a motherly figure, and a pastor all in one
I quote these verses often to myself. Thank you for saying them aloud❤️
You are so welcome
Thank you so much for the verses! I can’t wait to mark them up in my Bible to reference as needed. ❤
So encouraging! Thank you for the beautiful verses.
You're a blessing. Thank you from a new mom!
You are so welcome!
This video is so good. ❤ thank you for it! I can relate completely to everything you said as always. This was encouraging and lead to a good conversation between my husband and me.
Love the Scriptures you shared!! ♡
Thank you!
Hi. Just want to say thank you for this video. ❤
Thank you for this series!
Just what I needed to hear today thank you❤
So helpful! Thanks!
What a blessing ❤
AMEN SISTA !!!!!!
Thank you
Thank you!❤
You're welcome 😊
Great video!!!
Could you share more details on how you use the Alexa to help your family stay on schedule? That’s something I’ve been wanting to utilize but I’m not sure how. Do you have it do announcements, alarms, etc.? Any advice on the details would be very appreciated. Thank you !
Absolutely! I'll work this into an upcoming video, thank you for letting me know what you'd find helpful!
Hi! I was just on your account yesterday viewing your yearly planning video. I went back today and noticed that some were blocked out but others were not, how can i get access to them again🥺
Hello! I haven't formally announced it yet, but this week I created memberships. I had some lower performing videos that are not being found anymore and so I put them into memberships. If you go to the video you should be able to see a join button 💛.
What is the difference between a Titus 2 woman and a Proverbs 31 woman? I'm not religious so I don't know the subtly.
Hello! You can learn what/about the Titus 2 woman here
www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Titus%202%3A3-5&version=NIV
and the Proverbs 31 woman here
www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031%3A10-31&version=NIV
Hope this helps!
Is there a devotional book on the Titus 2 woman?
Not that I know of, sorry!
This series has been so good, it's like you know what is going through my mind! Thanks for sharing your heart; it will help me and my home! 🩷