How Do I Tell My Kids They're Not In The Will?
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- Опубликовано: 6 дек 2022
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I’ll never forget a RUclips comment I read here about this guy who did a bunch of labor work for an old woman as a kid and he thought she was mean , many years later an attorney found him and she had left him a note leaving him everything in her will and saying she never forgot. It was many millions of dollars
She was insane lol
I heard of a situation like this but don’t believe everything on the internet
something similar actually happened to my dads friend. He's a landscaper, and he kept up a womans property for free and helped her out, and her kids didnt do anything for her. Anyway when she died she left my dads friend her home. Which was amazing for him cause he didnt own a home.
(all adult my dads friend is in his 50s when this happened, unsure of her kids ages but 30+)
and there was a news story here in australia recently about another couple who looked after their elderly neighbour and she left them her home as well, and her siblings were constesting it.
Source : trust me bro
😂
My father in law disowned my husband several years ago because he refused to divorce me over some things.
He met with him years later after he found out that we had our baby and still tried to talk him into breaking up our little family. He is not in our lives nowadays and my sister in law is probably going to inherit everything (not sure if it’s a million or more) but keeping our family that we’ve built and a life that we’ve built together is much more important than his dad’s inheritance and money.
Dave,
My three kids are not walking with the Lord, but I will leave them and my two grandchildren my money because I love them.
That is great. @@elainelight9286
Every will is disputable.
He created a trust. I don't know if that is disputable. @@daisy9910
@@daisy9910disputing doesn't mean changing.
My mom was a sick, abusive manipulating witch. She pitted her kids against each other. She lied to us and revised history. When I had my daughter, whom I adore, I stopped talking to mom. I didnt want my kid to see her in action. I got written out of the will and so did the other sensible kid. She wound up splitting her state between the two most selfish, heartless users in the bunch. One put her in the ER three times with broken ribs. I didnt get a dime and Im fine. I also skipped the funeral.
you seem proud you skipped your mother's funeral. how charming
@@AbdalMalik-ye1df are you a guilty parent as well?
@@AbdalMalik-ye1df Why would he want to pretend to celebrate a life of an utter bitch? I'd be proud, too. Although I doubt he was proud. Just pragmatic.
@@frequentlycynical642 still the mother deserve respect. don't listen to druggie daughter who hated her mother who wanted to set her right, there is always 4 sides to the story... her side, mother's side, the truth and then there is my side of the story too
Bitterness is a slow killer
When our very confused middle child had gone one year with no contact or contact info, I took her off the will. Even if she were to reconcile with her mother, who had become completely wheelchair-bound prior to this, and who had signed all of her tuition checks, I would probably wait a while before writing her back in. Our other children are actually grateful to us.
Should have stopped at 1 kid 😂
Both of my parents left me with an upbringing of love and PROPER teaching. I would take that over dollars any day!
Show me the money
As someone who also disowned their parents, I'm not expecting penny. If the child is competent, I'm sure they don't want anything.
I disowned my parents also and feel the same as you. My parents aren't in my will either so hopefully they aren't expecting anything either.
@@iHATEFORCE Kind of presumptuous of the caller to even assume the child wants their money. They probably want nothing to do with it (unless they are entitled, but we don't know anything about the situation).
Dang bro, I couldn't imagine disowning my parents it must hard
@@bigbird4481 It was, but sometimes hard things are better than the alternative. I've felt very free since I've done this.
I know some parents…….just shouldn’t be parents. Sad when this happens but sometimes it is for the best.
There are some slimeballs that will sniff for greenbacks when their parents croak, but those situations likely entail different circumstances and context.
I was astranged for my father for years because of his wife, now that he's old and having difficulty guess who's there talking care of him ? Me , so parents think about the future
I mean did your father not want you around
But if you tell somebody that he/she is left out of the will, likely there will be drama and pushback. Let them find out when the will is read.
Did you watch the video? Dave said to do exactly that.
Even better, let them deal with the person that made the decision if you can handle dealing with it.
Punting the hurt and anger down the road to your other children may not be the honorable thing to do.
We've repeatedly told our parents/grandparents that we don't want to be left in their will, that we appreciate the thought, but money creates obligation. And they need to know they're loved for them not their cash.
Besides, we can make our own money. We know the Ramsey program.
The Ramsey program is biblically-based and so are inheritances
@auemmjee
So is honoring your parents.
There are an awful lot of folks in this comment section who "sound" like they hate and resent their parents, to say nothing of dishonoring their parents.
That amazes and deeply saddens me.
I really don't understand why so many youngsters today appear to "hate" their parents.
@@jpg_sig10 A good man leaves an inheritance to their child the bible says just as God left one for us through the death of Jesus. An inheritance can only be given through death. The bible establishes true love is not an emotion it's a choice, and that love is unconditional. Jesus loved us in our sin and fallen nature, more than everything else in the universe for it cost him everything.
Inheritance doesn't create obligations unless you allow it to, or the relationships are unhealthy.
I wouldn’t care if my parents didn’t leave me a dime. I doubt they do either. Life is already good🤷🏻♀️
As much as it pains me to give money to an adult desendant who is irresponsible (or hasn't spoken to me) My grand parents had a A LOT of children who were all somewhat stable to Very successful and one child they did not speak to and had a very serious long-term public conflict with. When both grandparents had passed and the will was read, all of their children got an equal portion and all their many grandchildren got a small equal amount. Looking back as one of the grand children, the fact that they left all of their kids, even wasteful spenders and the estranged one an equal share, proved their unconditional love and was an attempt to put an end to any disagreements with them and among the siblings - no matter how bad. it and was a sign of integrity, love and wisdom and their legacy to all their children and grand children.
Agreed. ❤
That's the way I would do it, too.
I’ve spoke to my parents and communicated I have no expectation to be in their will. Recently my dad gifted me some money to pay for my final year of law school after I’d paid for all my prior education myself. I was very hesitant and was told that I’d be getting it now or later and he’d prefer he got to see it be a benefit now than later. And that’s his decision if he decides later on to leave some form of inheritance but I’ve never expected for it to happen. And they have no requirement to leave me anything.
well, that's you. as long as i'm taking care of my parents when they are older, they'll be giving me at least half the house, or i will NOT be a caretaker.
that makes you a terrible son or daughter. you are doing it with the intention of being rewarded. Not to help them@@thispersonrighthere9024
We don't know both sides of the story. However if a child does not want to speak to their parents, and he or she is an adult, then they fully recognize that they will probably be cut out of the will. And honestly sometime life is better that way if it means you will have more peace in your life
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
A good man gives a mountain of wealth to someone for no reason? I don't think you know what 'good' means.
. Guessing you need to look up righteous and sinner.
@@CirrowProductions An inheritance can only be given by death just as Christ Jesus left his children his inheritance for those who give their lives to him. True love is a choice not an emotion and actual goodness is having that love for your children because it comes from God putting it in you through him for only God, Jesus can be truly good.
@@CirrowProductionsit’s a Bible verse haah
I decided that my son does deserve it all. My father decided that my brother and me did not. Our sin was being raised by a single mother. I guess that’s the part that makes me want to give more to my son.
Problem with cutting someone out of the will is that your administrator / executor of the estate is going to have to deal with the backlash - especially if they are the sibling who is getting everything - and there will be hard feelings and backlash. You will be gone. Extending the middle finger from the grave is not a pretty sight.
If you're not in the will, that is all you should know about the process. In other words, you shouldn't know who received what because it's none of your business.
Your executor/trustee, and holder of durable POA for health care have to be strong people who will carry out your wishes regardless.
The letter to the left out child seems like a good idea for that situation. Be mad at the deceased person. Also serves as a nice little summary of reasoning should the will be contested.
I think it is a beautiful sight.
@@marietaylor5174 Not true. There is a legal hierarchy of inheritance, which of course, can be changed by the will. If an heir is cut out of the will, he/she has the legal standing to contest the will.
You're not required to leave anything to your kids once you die, then the step prior to that must also be true: if you spend every dime you have 20 years before you die do not expect your kids to help you live.
The sad part is that many aging parents will find themselves incapacitated and unable to care for themselves if they live long enough. Financial abuse and neglect or outright physical abuse by both trusted friends, trustees and even family will be realities for many. The only real safe guard is having relatives who really love you and whom you have given the legal power to protect your interests. At the end of the day who you leave your money to when you die may be the least of your problems.
I disagree with both statements! Idc how bad my parents were with money. Imma always help them ,if I can and if my parents had money! They better leave their kids it
@@reese85 Yup this id is how “we” do it.
What if you have no money in your old age because you spent it all on your needy adult children? And now they aren't going to help you out.
Illogical. The reason you help your parents when they are of old age is because they helped you grow as a child. Not because they’re going to leave you loads of money when they pass.
This topic has two-fold relevancy for me. Thank you for the guidance.
Even if my kids didn’t want anything to do with me I would still leave them their cut of the will. It’s called LOVE. I’m surprised so many people think it’s ok to cut their children out of a will because they don’t talk to them or they’re mad at them etc etc lots of crap.
Oh good! I got on here to make sure it wasn't my parents calling into the show. Dodged that bullet. Lol!
So many reasons I hate wills. People that expect to get them often put in less work than they should in life. People that have them often wield them a control tool. Almost everyone who is going to be a millionaire someday is going to achieve that before they get a dime of inheritance. You make your own way.
This is a good reason why not everybody should be allowed to reproduce. Some humans are just terribly selfish people and they have no business creating other humans or being parents.
So why does it matter if you put stipulations in your will? Either they've built wealth or they haven't. If they feel entitled to it, then they probably don't deserve it and you should give it to charity or skip a generation.
I would happily leave money to an adult offspring who had done well, rewarding them with the richer life more money can provide. I would not leave money to adult offspring who didn’t accomplish anything and didn’t handle money well. The money I accumulate through frugality and investing is not to be lost or wasted.
Money and property have to be distributed to somebody. Whether it's family who gets it or a total stranger doesn't really matter. Somebody is going to enjoy the benefits.
@@zariaeda007 What law says it must be distributed? If my Will says destroy all of my possessions and burn the money to the ash that's my final wishes and they should be honored.
A competent child would not want your money. An incompetent child gets your money and wastes it all.
Very important to state in the Will someone who you do not want to give money to. That way the Will cannot be challenged and overturned in a Court.
@@nigelmcgiver2275That’s why people with estranged kids they don’t want to give anything to should just be immensely generous before passing.
You need to find out the law in your state. They aren't all the same in the will department.
My kids are not in my will, my grandkids are. Not going into a long speech but some kids just don't deserve it and I'm fine with that, plus I sleep alot better without them.
If my father teld me that I wont receive nothing on the will I would thank him for the heads up and treat him with the same love and respect, I would tell him too that I care nothing for the money, only on having him with us many years more
Nah I def feel away and let him kno every chance I get until he changes that
@@reese85 every situation is different
@@EJleon96 obviously but I will still leave my kids money and I would still feel away if my dad had money and left it to someone else
@@reese85 It's his money.
@@sblijheid and I’m his kid! What’s the point of having money and kids, if your not goin to leave them anything?
Why do kids think they are entitled to something their parents worked for? My parents left us nothing but they loved fed and raised nine children and left me with the greatest gift of all love.
In my Grandparents generation and before, the parents had many children and they all stayed close to home and as parents aged they lived with the children and any inheritance just natutrally changed hands as the parents aged. Not much was in a will
Did your parents leave their worldly goods to someone else?
Some families are like a good team. The parents raise the kids, the kids share their lives and the grandkids with their parents. The grandparents get old and the kids help take care of them as they age. So the next natural thing is that if the grandparents die with any accrued wealth it goes to the kids especially since those kids put in many hours unpaid labor helping the grandparents keep their wealth.
I always tell my mother and mother in law. I want them to die broke. That means they enjoyed their retirement and spent it on their many grand kids.
Yes!
My mom told me not to get my hopes up becasue she intends to enjoy her money. My wife told me my Mom intends to enjoy her money before my Mom did. LOL. The only thing that kind of bugs me a little is the legacy for the grandkids (not for myself). But oh well. Im leaving my kids something anyway (I hope!)
I cut off my abusive biological father four years ago. Never looked back, best decision of my life. There’s always two sides to the story and a reason for her kids cutting her off.
Understood. Works for now, though will haunt you later in life. Best wishes-You'll need it!
@@Jenda-ld8djRaleighlink has every right to identify and cutoff unhealthy relationships with toxic family
@@tw2800 Did not disagree with that. Just saying that it will come back to haunt-always does. Be careful what you ask for.
@@Jenda-ld8djSo she should continue taking abuse?
@@Goodlaw86 Define abuse.
There are 28 states That Allow Transfer-On-Death Deeds for Real Estate. These deeds do not take affect until the owner passes away but they are a good way to avoid probate. It’s also called a beneficiary deed in some states. There are also certain requirements like it being witnessed, notarized, and filed in the appropriate offices like the county recorders office and the register of deeds or recorder of deeds. There is no will to contest by using this method and no probate is involved so this is a completely private transfer. Trusts are also a great way to stay out of probate, and every state recognizes trusts from other states.
transfer of deed is for real estate, not personal property or other holdings.
Extending the middle finger from the grave is not a pretty sight but I guess you win. Sad situation.
It absolutely is about hitting back.
Eh they don’t win. My grandfather and his wife tried to get in between me and my mother. Cut off - as expected- but here I am alive, thinking badly of them and I don’t give a f about the money (when they probably thought it would hit hard).
I have a lot of conflict with my mom and decided to not pursue the charges for the crimes she committed against me. She had zero inheritance and stole mine from my dad's side of the family and concealed my sister's will. If she leaves me (her only living child and the source of all the grandkids) nothing, I will do the exact opposite of her notorized final wishes and bury her with my dad.
🏆 👏👏👏👏👏
Dumpster would do I think...
THis is serious and sort of a joke at the same time dependngin on the answer: but would your dad want her buried next to him?
@@chipdouglas9349 Dead people get no say, they decide and that's that
@@M896It is self explanatory that she is the one that will make the decision. The point is the consideration that should be made when making the decision.
If her dad was a good father, she should consider whether he would want to buried next to her mom. Becasue she might not want spite him in her effort to spite the mother.
Unfortunately in New Zealand you do have a requirement to leave something to your children and even grandchildren if they are needy. Many wills are contested and overturned.
In the USA you're mandated to leave your MINOR children with a different parent other than your spouse a portion of your Estate as well.
You're not required to leave anything to adults tho, UNLESS they are considered mentally handicap by the court and thus still your financially responsability.
Just tell them directly what's the problem? My dad left everything to my stepmother. He told my brother and I upfront and directly he was leaving everything for her so she could be cared for properly after he died. It made perfect sense and nobody had any issues with it.
Yeah, my father inherited an island from grandpa Max, a machine shop from his father. Mom inherited a farm. From 13 to 22 years old I worked for free in the machine shop and took a hit on a1099. Written out of will even though I saved my grandmother's estate big money caring for her out of a nursing home.
My relative passed and one of the adult son’s had not spoken to them in 20 years. The son wasn’t in the will and assumed he wasn’t and didn’t care. Saw the obituary and kept on with his life.
Actually parents do owe their children to leave them monies to help. It's called generational wealth and it is important for children and parents to do this for each other. With our uncertain and upcoming potentially disastrous economy family members left behind will need all the help they can get. God bless~
As I have always said to my parents I am not expecting anything from them when they go. Anything they leave to me will be greatly appreciated but I am not planning anything based on expecting anything.
Leaving an estranged adult child money in one's will could be a wonderful way to say, "I love you. I told you that would never change and that my love was unconditional. It was not based on how much time you spent with me, whether you shared my beliefs, or whether I shared your life decisions. This final gift is given in celebration of you, my child, and wonderful gift from God."
Respect is a two way street. It goes a long way. It doesn't cost anything. Bit young people will walk away if parents don't grovel at their feet.
I am going through the same situation and was thinking this same way.
You can love a child that hurts you, abuses you, manipulates you, takes advantage of you financially, the love from a parent never stops. Money has nothing to do with love. If it does, then you’re in the relationship for the wrong reasons.
@@dawnarmstrong2238 I agree wholeheartedly. And that is why, if my plan was to gift my estate to equally to my children BEFORE becoming estranged, it would not change because of the distance between us. It is not about the money; it is about a gift for my child, and gifts never come with strings attached.
@@absolutetruth3290 Beautifully said. Estrangement can result from setting healthy boundaries, but it does not lessen love nor mean "the story" is over. God's grace is an example for me.
I love that movie "Knives Out"
IMO it would have to be something pretty egregious to disinherit a child. I say think long and hard if that’s the emotional
Legacy you want to leave behind.
Hello 👋 Beautiful Lady 🌹..how are you doing today and your weather condition like?
@@drchrisgrayson2042 Creep
Legacy should be non-monetary.
I had this conversation with both of my grandparents(who I am very close with) that when the time comes I don’t want to be left anything strictly because they have given me all that I could wish for by being great guides to help me through life. I plan on telling my mom and dad( who I am also very close with) to leave me out of their will because I could care less about the money because the memories of them in my life is all I want and ever need
My grandparents gave me love. The only people in my life ever to do so. I still feel so indebted to them 30 years after there passing.
Well hopefully no one will leave you a penny.
Then you are forbidding them from leaving you a final gift. Although with the grandparents, assuming you were going to be in the will and get anything is a step to far.
My kids can have all my money and stuff. My divorce from their mom wreaked their lives and I owe them at least that much.
If you wish to disinheit a child in your will, it's necessary to mention that child in the will and then state that you are leaving them nothing. If not mentioned, the child would take an intestate share.
I have 4 kids I'm closer to 3 of them, all 4 are not going to inherit equally
This is a rich people problems. My parents don’t have any will because they have not money to leave us anything when they die. I just found out that I inherited my father’s diabetes 😂
My father passed 5 years ago, but I stopped speaking to him years before that because I didn't like how he treated me and others. My siblings told me I needed to say something to him every once in a while to stay in the will. I told them no thanks; I wouldn't let a stranger talk to me the way he does, so I for damn sure wasn't going to let a parent treat me any kind of way. I never expected to be in his will, and didn't care. He didn't do much for me when I really needed it (growing up), so why would I care. And I also knew that my siblings are very fair people, and they would give me a fair amount anyway..but when he died, he still left me everything he originally had for me in his will. He did it bc he wanted to for his own reasons, even though I had no connection to him. So do what you feel is right, whatever that may be.
My brother demanded that I leave my money which is very little to his children, who have never even bothered to visit me and I haven't even seen in over a decade or more. I said nothing my brother is over 10 yrs older than me, so he will probably die first and his kids cant even remember my name. So the monies, if any, will go to a charity of my choice. Family is not all its cracked up to be and funerals bring out the leeches.
Covid crazies sure but refusing to wear a mask because someone you love is scared even if ridiculously so and then disowning them is bonkers.
Yeah that was a bit of a weird hill to die on. We don't know their situation. For all we know the person could have been severely immuno-compromised and they're 100% within their rights to need visitors to wear a mask. Back at the height of covid, there were also a lot of unknowns. You would hear about even young people being put on ventilators in an icu. We didn't know the possible long-term effects this might have. I myself skipped Thanksgiving dinner and when close family was sick, I avoided mingling. When my fiancé was home sick I told my mom she couldn't come over, etc.
@@drea409 Yes he's just being political. I can disagree with mask mandates or closing schools as it's time to move on but if my children or parents ask me to do something that doesn't hurt me at all even if they're delusional why would I not do it? Some people are afraid of electronics so I'll leave my phone outside even though this is a mental illness not real. Meanwhile masks do prevent viruses even if we figure we will all get it sometime. Both sides are zealots on this for sure and if you think vaccine is dangerous and they wouldn't see you unvaxxed that is at least reasonable to oppose but not hugging or wearing a mask isn't hurting you in any interpretation.
That’s an excellent response from Dave.
Glad to see that the team finally got in ear monitors instead of those ridiculous head sets🤣🤣
Both are ok
I could not imagine leaving my kids out of my will. If you are a parent who is doing this, ask yourself why it’s even a question. As the parent you are responsible for raising them so ask yourself
if you did enough. It’s up to me to determine how my kids turn out. I’ve failed a lot in life but one thing i’ve succeeded in is loving my kids. For that reason i know i raised good kids who will contribute well to society. I want to leave them money because i love them and i want to make their lives easier.
I am estranged from my dad. Idgaf if he has money or not. I want nothing from him and if he left me something. It would go unclaimed.
That's a lot of hatred to carry on your shoulders.
I know that anger you are feeling. I had it with my dad until he passed away from drugs. I hope you experience peace and lots of love in your future.
I agree that there is no obligation, but just because a child is lost or you have some type of conflict doesn't mean it changes anything when it comes to leaving an inheritance. It's called mercy and grace.
There are some who are undeserving.
@@CokefishR Sure, but how much background did Dave have? He likes to give advice with very little clarity.
What the caller does- called manipulation. She has probably has done that before to her children.
When my in-laws has got inheritance, it shown all they true Colors. Some people just turn nasty overstepping Narsisist - they started to pull up the power card and manipulate people to give in in they demands. We just moved interstate away from those toxic demands. Just Because you have got money it doesn’t mean people have to cancel themselves and serve your needs as priority.
Wills and inheritance are tricky when convoluted with relationships! If one of my kids totally cut off a relationship with me, making it clear that I was no longer a part of their life (regardless of who’s “at fault”), I agree with honoring their boundaries and wishes to the point of stopping contact with them. If, after a bit of time, there was no movement toward reconciliation then I would remove them out of the will as well. There is no reason to pass money on to any person, related or otherwise, that you don’t have a relationship with…if you feel that bad, then donate their “share” to a charity in their honor!
Great content; also good to see they upgraded their audio equipment
Dave looks weird with this new set up. If he shaved his goatee he'd look like a totally new person lol.
If you're cutting someone out that's traditionally in, like kids, they say it's best to leave them a $1 or something to show the courts you didn't actually just forget to include them...
Dumbest thing i read all day.
@@JP-uy9kq if that's the case, you're really surfing some high level content. Good for you.
Couldn't they just refuse to accept it, and hold up the process of settling the will?
@@jimhandler1129 yes, they could still challenge anything they didn't like. It's just better when people are addressed in some way in the will rather than blank when if it goes to court, I hear...
Actually, that can cause more issues than just leaving them out of the will because they can simply refuse to accept the gift creating huge issues for the executor and expense for the estate. They can also still challenge the will, especially if they win the challenge, the law will allow them to get a part of the estate, more than $1.
Don't know if I agree with Dave. I would hope my kids believe in God like I do but I wouldn't leave them out of my will if they didn't. They're still my kids. I still love them.
I know a guy whose father put so many requirements in his will that the guy just said 'forget it'. the father wanted the son to work a particular job and live in a certain place and blah blah blah, or else no inheritance. So that guy just said okay fine, no inheritance. Then two decades later the dad changed his mind about all that
Dave is a fake Christian
@@nchinth , real Christians don't speak with a forked tongue of deception. This guy is full of greed and judgement.
@@nchinth , people like myself are trying to build young men and women up , while he is constantly tearing them down . Typical baby boomer , I have had to deal with his type most all my life .
Children that don't speak with you or value hard work shouldn't be in a persons Will monitarily. Leaving them emotional items is fine but why support anyone that thinks they can disrespect you or your hard work.
A complete loser I had the privilege to work with until he got fired told me how he inherited a home from his grandmother which he sold and spent all the money within a year on drugs. I thought about that poor woman struggling to keep her home all of her years and to have this grandson just blow it all in 1 year it bothered me it showed total disrespect to that woman’s hard work and struggle to keep her home only to leave it to him not knowing he’d throw it all away.
Well the bright side is that when he sold it for drugs someone else who was a lot more deserving probably got a great deal.
I think the purpose of the caller here is to basically use their money as a form of leverage.
I told my dad he needs to set up his estate planning. Hopefully he sets that up.
Judging from my own experience when my father passed without a will, I strongly recommend estate planning. Had my father had a will it would have saved me about 76k
@@falconeer99 I told him that without it set up family members will be fighting over it. He said he will set it up. I will check in by September to see if he followed through.
Lol
@@dnah02 family members will fight over it anyway
I am thinking you are doing this so you get a slice of the pie.
3:45…. And I as a child am under no moral, legal, or ethical obligation to save for my parents retirement nor take care of them. The highway goes both ways no?
After reading these comments in here..some people say they don't care if there left out of the will..and don't talk to there parents...B.S...you all know you want that inheritance don't lie..we ain't buying it
Yes, you will cause hatred between siblings if you leave all to one and none for the others. Is it worth it to see brothers and sisters not speaking? Just because you had a disagreement with a son or daughter.
Some of the old traditions are falling by the wayside such as a big funeral, and leaving every child an equal amount. I never understood why people pick a family member os an executor, when they have no interest or talent to do it. Some don't even tell them. Some estates are a mess..
All parents aren't good Some parents are extremely abusive, both physically and emotionally - actually beating to the point of causing serious injury + awful name calling and insults for years. And these parents wonder why their children won't deal with them? Also, such parents show absolutely no contrition for their actions. And the parents wonder?
It feels like several of the comments here serves to prove Dave's point.
Don't assume your parents haven't changed their will. If they remarry, you will probably get virtually nothing.
Not necessarily
how about not telling anyone about an inheritance at all. You can tell them it will be for charity only and they might get something if they are behaving right. Similar situation like the movie Ultimate Gift
I supposibly have a 'good amount of money set aside for me' when I buy my first house. I told my parents many times I do not want it.
My one grandpa got screwed over with fights over a will and one of his sistors took the family home, sold it and retired on the money. I told him a while ago if he leaves me something that is great, but I expect nothing. I don't want the fights , and value him more than his stuff. I don't know his plans or what his will says, but I'm gonna try and make it so greed doesn't run wild like it did when his grandparents passed. That cycle has to end.
I ABSOLUTELY hate how they handled the fist call mentioned in that previous video, and how they are discussing about it today. It was about a GROWN women being so consumed with political and her politics agenda that she got in a heated argument with her daughter, probably less than half her age, and decided to completely shut her off from their lives. How mature are you? That’s what a 12 year old does.
That is not how I recall. I thought it was the daughter that cut off the Mother for not getting the “V” and then she wouldn’t even accept mail. Was there a different caller?
The caller said she chose not to visit the daughter because she didn’t see the “value” of visiting her if she couldn’t hug her. That’s pretty hurtful to say you don’t find any value in hanging out with your own daughter and talking and making memories. Her only value is if she gives and receives hugs? Then the caller said the daughter didn’t even go to a wedding…a wedding that she wasn’t even invited to! So of course she didn’t go! The caller was definitely in the wrong in many areas.
The daughter shut the mother (the caller) off from her (the daughter's) life, not the other way around.
Wrong. It was a young woman being so consumed by HER political agenda that she chose to cut out her mother over a cough. Go back and listen again sweet cheeks
And ironically enough you’re the one who sounds like your 12 😂
I'm leaving everything to my Granddaughter. 😊
Leave each child $50 and leave who you want the most child the most $$$$. It shows that you did not leave anyone out of the will, and purposely left your chosen amount to your chosen child. Then the Will can not be contested.
I like how Dave assumes it's the child that's the problem.
The child is usually part of the problem.
@@amireallythatgrumpy6508there is no problem; the child is an adult and can live as they wish
He doesn't assuem they are. His point is there is no relationship, so there is no expectation. But most relationships aren't one sided for "the problem" regardless
You might need to listen again.
Yes, very confusing
People who refuse to leave money to their children are terrible people. This is purely an American thing. In most other counties, a father not leaving anything to his children is considered a villain.
That’s crazy
Dave: “I might have punched you but I wouldn’t call you a punchable face” 😂😂😂
Bro, ppl that have gone no contact with their parents have a huge reason to do so. You don't just permanently disown your parents unless you have to in order to save yourself.
Try to control kids with your money. Try love an compassion instead.
In many countries you can't disinherit your children. I can see both sides.
Leaving money to only one child is setting up your kids for a life long relationship issue
There’s likely to already be issues and a bad relationship between the siblings anyway.
My mother-in-law told us she's not planning to leave money to a couple of her step children who've broken relationship with her. She's pretty much broke, so no harm no foul there.
Well she’s prob hiding money
I do not feel that any child who does not want to bother with me, deserves the memo that says "by the way, yo not in my will".
Why does your child not want to be in your life?
@@monikaw1369why does it matter, it’s parents choice
If I have anything left after I pass my 2 kids split it 50/50. Not sure why it’s expected that parents leave there kids a bunch of money
I get Dave's point, but my counterargument is that if you specifically disinherit one child and not the others, you will permanently poison the relationship between the other siblings, unless the ones who did inherit are generous enough to split their inheritance to make the disinherited sibling equal and "whole."
If you're fine with having your final act on Earth potentially ruining your children's relationship with each other then go ahead I suppose.
Personally, I "would" disinherit a child who is doing evil actions and beyond hope, but wouldn't disinherit them for other reasons (such as estrangement), because I would rather try to be magnanimous in death rather than spiteful for the sake of all my kids, even if some of them don't necessarily deserve it.
The sort of person who cuts of one of their kids due to a falling out couldn't care less, self driven personalities
Clint Eastwood movie" Gran Torino" is one good example of a will and family and enabling people , Good show thank you Mr Dave Ramsey
Love that movie…..
If your kids disrespect you then you have no duty to leave anything to them imo. If your children are dutiful then it’s your responsibility to leave them as much as u can.
Sure but that is in the eye of the beholder. My dad wanted me to work at his business for no pay and live in his house in a bedroom like a 13 year old or else no inheritance. He said if I want a house I have to solve that problem on my own and if I want things like health insurance then I can solve that problem on my own. So I thanked him for the opportunity and went on to have a normal career, with pay and insurance
Why do you think it is "your responsibility to leave them as much as u can"? That is not Biblical. Just wondering about your reasoning. If you spent money to make sure their needs were all met (and many of their wants, too) while they were growing up, isn't that enough? Why should parents scrimp and save in their later years when they have worked hard and saved their entire lives? I am sincerely wondering about your perspective here.
This is B.S. parents playing favorites is terrible.
A legacy isn’t a right, it’s a privilege
You tell the kids nothing at all and have your will and trust made out in private and they will find out after you are gone. The ultimate surprise from the grave. Leave it all to charity like the church or YMCA.
That's called revenge.
The big mikes on the table are not a good addition. What happened to the small clip ons?
They never used those. They used headsets.
If our father left us any inheritance after abandoning & no info where he is (for two decades), I'd be surprised and we will claim it as his first ever "child support" 😂
Fine, take them out but don't ever expect any help from them if you do so. Don't be surprised at all if you never hear from them again
It sounds like they already don't communicate.
Then she should take them out & not say anything, let the child find out at the reading of the will.
If she doesn’t get along with ANY of her kids it’s probably her. Either way it’s her money. I don’t know why she would even feel the need to tell them they’re not in the will
Dave always takes the side of the parents in these type of calls, but frankly the majority of the time when a grown child cuts off communication with their parents, it is the parents who are in the wrong. Children feeling loved and heard don't just cut off relationships with their parents.
"the majority of the time when a grown child cuts off communication with their parents, it is the parents who are in the wrong"
How do you know this?
It doesn’t matter who’s in the wrong, the parents don’t any the children anything… it’s their money they can leave it to whomever.
Anyways, responsible people usually have lots of money saved, so Dave is right in 90% of these occurrences. The parents with significant amount of wealth tend to be the better between parent/children relationship.
Is true. You don’t have to honour parents who abuse you. This comment is so true. An adult child will never cut off a parent unless the parent is toxic.
@@FrancescaBettiMusic Never say never...I could agree with you if you said that it's sometimes the parent's fault, but not always.
Then why would you want money or anything from them?
At 5:28 throwing shades towards polytheist there tree worshipping people !
I have heard that a parent needs to leave a token amount so the will is not contested. True or false???
That’s poor advice. You are much better off simply leaving them out of your estate completely as putting them into your will with only a token amount being offered affords them increased legal standing as an actual BENEFICIARY that they wouldn’t have had had they simply been left out of document entirely.
@@ddellwo 👍I also heard what you said from a financial advisor, so I believe you are right about that.
You can leave almost all your assets to people without a will. Wills are mostly outdated.
Depends on the state where you live.
@@JP-uy9kq If you don't leave a will, your assets will go to your nearest living relatives, and if none can be found, the state gets the money.
“A guy who used to work here…” 😂😂😂
hey ,I know physically money can turn you crazy. When friends asks for money,I send them into the metaverse. Good luck. ,