#20 Should A Pakistani Marry A Bengali...? || Chai With My Bhai
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- Опубликовано: 27 фев 2018
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Assalamu alaikum
I have to agree with Imran's summary on this topic. I am a white British Muslim married to a Pakistani-Kashmiri Muslim. We lived together with my husband's parents for nearly a year and a half at the start of our marriage. Alhamdulillah in general it worked well however I can totally understand why, had my in laws been more cultural, it would have been a massive struggle. My in laws (May Allah bless them) particularly my father in law, prioritise Deen over culture so therefore any issues are worked through from an Islamic perspective and not a cultural perspective. My in laws speak their own language as well as decent English so we are able to communicate, I have also picked up on some of their own mother tongue and have made an effort to gain an understanding of their culture which has created respect and understanding between us. It has taken maybe a bit more work, had we have been from the same culture but it has been rewarding and now my in laws see me as their own daughter. It has to come from both sides if it is going to work - the parents in law need to make an effort, as well as the son/daughter in law.
Overall, my views are, it is much easier to marry within your own culture in a lot of respects, however there is something massively rewarding about bringing two cultures together through two people - especially once children are born - there is a real beauty in it. However I do agree with Imran that if you are a cultural person, it is potentially more beneficial to marry within your own culture.
I'm a Pakistani who married a bengali 7 Years ago.I learnt bengali language.
We are Alhamdulillah very happy.
Deen is what matters and these two cultures aren't majorly different.
But if the cultures are very different then I think there would be clashes.
I have been married for 4 years now with an arab moroccan girl and we are happier than ever alhamdulillah. Im originally from guinea west africa. When we decided to get married we agree on one thing and that is to live our marriage according to islam not according to any culture. We have decided to raise our kids more on islamic values and because of that ALLAH had put so much happiness in our marriage wallah even now i thank Allah in sujood for her. In many cases you could marry a girl from your culture and speak same language but have so many misunderstandings and not be compatible. My wife is respectful to me and my family loves her so much and her family loves me but all credit is to Allah because we put Him first in our marriage. All this talk about marrying in or out of the culture is irrelevant if you dont make sure that you live your marriage according to what islam teaches. Make the Qur’an and the sunnah the center of your marriage and you will have a marriage like the Prophet and khadija had inshaALLAH. Make dua to Allah to bless you with a righteous kind person, wallah if you get someone righteous and good personality their culture or skin color will mean nothing InshaAllah. It sounds like to me that you brothers would refuse to marry a righteous muslim girl just because she aint from your culture that is far away from the path of the sunnah and the salaf. When it comes to interracial marriages even the most religious people seems to fall off there. When it comes to marriage everything brothers learn about the deen goes out the door, the focus become about marrying someone from their culture first.
Anonymous Muslim ameeen jazakAllahu khairan. Yeah my wife is the one that helped improve my arabic reading and speaking alhamdulillah. She is always willing to teach me alhamdulillah
The issue with your comment is that it suggests you dont have the perspective of someone who is cultural.
Love this post. You spoken the truth and there should be no other discussion regarding this matter
Barakallahu feekum ya akhi you hit the nail on the head!
I'm a Jamaican muslim married to a Japanese muslim sister .. I can say Alhamdulillah ... From my perspective interracial marriages are the best.. and cultural differences isn't a problem when the deen comes first ... How can different cultures have a negative impact on your marriage if you are a practicing muslim ... ?
Unfortunately we love to mix the deen with culture...
This reminds me of one sheikh when he said that muslims name their sons after Bilal ibn Rabah, they praise him and love his story about never giving up the deen but these people would never let their daughters marry a man with the skin color of Bilal ibn Rabah. It was the honest truth. We see this among many muslims today and im talking about knowledgeable muslim men that loves the deen. This is the definitely the deceased that have affected the muslim ummah today. Allahul musta3aan
It must be a test from Allah for both the party.
fam you's lot r on abt pakistanis and bengalis, us somalis have problems with other tribes FROM THE SAME CITY OR COUNTRY! the parents would rather their child marry outside their race then a tribe that has "less status". ofc not all somalis but a lot have that tribalist mindset.
I am Mexican and I married a Pakistani. Our cultures are super different and it was difficult at first but isnt the first year or two of any marriage the hardest anyway? My husband stands up for me when necessary to his family and his mom is so nice to me Alhamdulillah. Family wise everything is good now (minus his sister annoys me but most of us dont like at least one in law lol) that we have communicated more and they know how i am. Like for example i had to tell my mother in law to stop asking me to dress like a Pakistani, she understood and let it go. All marriages have their challenges, period.
Oh and also like Imran said, i didnt marry a "cultural" Pakistani. I am not very cultural either aside from speaking Spanish and living Mexican food. Aside from food and language many other parts of any culture are often haram or cause unnecessary hardship
What if the potential couple are non-cultural but their families are cultural?
I don't see anything wrong with it Deen is what matters!!
Fatimah Ahmed Very true!
If compatibility affects Deen( which most surely does), compatibility issue must be solved.
Long as you are both Muslim and happy
The prophet salla Allahu 'alayhi wa salam told us to choose deen over lineage, wealth and beauty. It was the mushrikeen of the quraysh that chose lineage, it was the Christians that chose beauty and the Jews that chose wealth. If you choose lineage over deen then you've gone against the prophet and followed the ways of the Mushrikeen of the Quraysh.
This has nothing to do with bengalis or pakistanis lol
People look down on others, because they are from a different ethnicity.
Some people who are even from the same background, wont get married because one may have a darker skin tone than the other, even though, the rejected one is on his/her deen.
And in some cases, the families wont allow marriage, because the parents birth place or village back home, is different to the parents of the other single person, even though, its the same motherland & same country, Smh.
Btw, I'm not just talking about the youngsters but mainly the elders, who pray daily & also the older generations, who are a major problem.
Islam dissolves all differences what I mean if a man marries a woman and they are both practicing they will be no clashes because all their matters will be based on the Deen.
It's tough for reverts as
finding a non cultural muslim will be quite difficult. Nonetheless, it's interesting to hear this perspective as I now know the problems it can cause for a cultural person if they marry out. However,islamically it shouldn't be an issue but I understand the viewpoint.
Smile6956 I agree with you;and brother Strides is right (second answer). Allah said He created us from different nations and tribes so we may know one another (Surah Hujuurat). Marriage is the most intimate way to know your spouse and their culture; one might start to love each other's culture, even. We forget that Allah is the One Who created different languages and taught us to speak and understand with them. He hears and knows the call of the caller when he calls in any language. Getting married to someone compatible is also important; the Prophet mentioned that he didn't want to marry a woman from the Ansar because they were very jealous. He married some who were from different backgrounds like Safiyyah and Mariyya (may Allah be pleased with both of them). He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also married some of his wives to bring tribes together (which brother Strides basically mentioned) It depends on what the person prefers, But the Most Important thing obviously is Deen. The righteous (pure men) must marry the righteous (pure women) as Allah states in the Quran; and indeed He (Glory and Exalted be He) knows Best.
I am from India and i am also Bengali.Anyways,nice informational video...May Allaah reward you Brothers.
I want you brothers to please do a video (next) on whether it's better to marry a rich person or a poor person (Deen and Dunya-wise) InshaAllah. Barakallahu feekum
Am happy to know that we love your guys culture too.. Allah bless you all!!!
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I see you guys always stress avout the time, i dont mind if the video is even 4hours long i just want to hear everything you guys have to say
What happened to the sister who created a fund me account to pay for her university of season 1 chai with my bhai? Do you know if she reached her goal? It was one of the early videos if anyone remembers.
I actually enjoyed this episode, first one I’ve watched inshallah more to watch. Good points made. I like dawah mans idea of non cultural people marry non cultural.
Assalamua'laikum. I understood what's being said; but it truly depends on what "cultural" actually means. Because from what I have observed from cultural people (who are Muslim) is that if you ask them "are you Muslim first or are you such-and-such first? They will say "I'm such-and-such first". Basically it's now a matter of Deen or culture; anyone's culture can always be wrong but the Deen is always right. And Deen takes precedence over any culture. The religion either agrees with the culture or is against it. Some people do it the other way around; if the culture is in conflict with the Religion, they throw the Religion aside choose their culture (and this can be a form of shirk). Instead of letting the Deen legislate how one should live, people choose their culture to legislate for them. "Whoever's ignorant about something, hates it" (has enmity towards it). If people don't know, they should "get to know". Nothing is more important than this Deen, so it always come first. And most of the time, opposites do attract; sometimes people just need to meet someone who is different from them to really click. Remember the Prophet said a woman is married for four (lineage, status, beauty, and religion); choose (her) Religion (Islam) .I ask Allah to open all the doors of Jannah for us all to enter through all of them Allahumma Ameen. Barakallahu feekum
can a pilipina woman marry a Moroccan men'? thanks in advance😊
Imran please make a detailed, Detailed video about whether to move the finger during tashahhud or not and from when should one start pointing it.
There is negative and positive aspect in both .
Important how you handle it , sure as Imran said marry a non cultural men or women.
Khubah or Khumbi is the word for mushroom in Punjabi. Nice as always. Jazak Allah Khair bro.
3:20 it's an Arabic word and it's also used in somali
You guys seem like your all first generation British. It’s quite different for us who are second generation. I wish I knew my language better though coz I can’t understand what my grandad says to me😭😭
Knsa Khan learn it? It's ur mother tongue
What I want to ask if you could please answer inshallah how does a boy act with his female teachers or female class mates and also how does a girl act with male teachers or male class mates
Yes talk about second wife topic I’m interested in knowing the different points of view and why some consider it as more harmful then good
Second wife video would be 😊 good. Can't wait . Inshallah
Don't all the Desi people have similar cultures ???
I think I agree with imran
What is mr waveys name ?????????????????
Mr wavys name released!!! Right in the beginning as well
Isa Khan at wat time
u forgot the beeps
wasn't this already up?
Yup
Don’t know really but I am looking for marriage in my own community
Only listened to strides for a few sec based on that yes I'd agree within but than marriage is a target for shayteen to destroy so even if your from the same city , same extended family ....problems will always occur unless both parties understand the deen on the same level.....when one person is more high up in deen than other that's when I think it clashes and that's where cultures also clash.....I think marrying same DEEN level is more important than within culture ....but Yh let's listen to what the rest have to say ....
You forgot to bleep the brother's name around 0:15.
2nd wiife video 👍👍
اللهم بارك
2:49 🤣😂
Bus Busss truck train plane 😂😂😂
You didn’t bleep ‘Mr Wavys’ name lol
Assalamu alaikum brothers.
Salam from Bangladesh. :)
Make the 2nd wife vid
Wuuuuuryaaa!!!!
D-Block 😂😂😂😂😂💕💕💕
Dhava = mushroom
Punjabi
This episode is funny