Shit Programmers Say

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  • Опубликовано: 29 дек 2024

Комментарии • 761

  • @burakcimenli
    @burakcimenli 3 года назад +3150

    Am I the only one who talks to himself? “This was supposed to fix it” “Compile faster!” “You should swap the bools and see if it will work” “yeah you’re right”
    Or I think I’ve lost it lmao

    • @sargedevYT
      @sargedevYT 3 года назад +114

      i say stuff people usually write comments for, like "this loop does this and then i just add this variable ect."

    • @DaFrancc
      @DaFrancc 3 года назад +110

      Speaking out loud helps me a lot

    • @radar_raps
      @radar_raps 3 года назад +86

      I talk to the program lol. Like for example I’ll be now what’s wrong with you let me take a look

    • @burakcimenli
      @burakcimenli 3 года назад +48

      @@radar_raps That’s another level hahah

    • @TheDjTotzy
      @TheDjTotzy 3 года назад +27

      You're literally speaking to a machine when you're coding... if you think you lost it well then think twice haha.

  • @JohnEvansChaoseed
    @JohnEvansChaoseed 10 лет назад +2038

    As a programmer, I can attest to the accuracy.

    • @HotPocketsBoy
      @HotPocketsBoy 9 лет назад

      +John Evans teach me how

    • @SigmaSixSoftware
      @SigmaSixSoftware 7 лет назад +2

      I agree I was just waiting for one of them to either do the typical programmer (lean back and just stare at your screen) and finish it with a fuck or what the fuck

    • @ajiteshmishra
      @ajiteshmishra 3 года назад +3

      gillfoyle??

    • @LB-vn9sj
      @LB-vn9sj 3 года назад

      @@ajiteshmishra his brother

    • @pelic9608
      @pelic9608 3 года назад +1

      0:25 - That one really got me.
      Probably the best advice I've ever received.

  • @everythingiscoolio
    @everythingiscoolio 9 лет назад +2527

    Throughout the entire video I thought "Why is no one cursing? This isn't like how I work at all." Then it came and I laughed.

    • @ArgentLeftovers
      @ArgentLeftovers 4 года назад +49

      Wait for it....waaaaiiiiit for it!
      There we go.

    • @4_real_bruh
      @4_real_bruh 3 года назад +2

      Omg me too😂😂

    • @christianjimenez1298
      @christianjimenez1298 3 года назад +3

      The accuracy. I was reading this and then I heard the guy curse at the end. Perfect timing reading this comment 😂😂😂

    • @varyk1024
      @varyk1024 3 года назад +3

      @@ArgentLeftovers right as I clicked show more and saw "there we go" it happened😂😂😂

    • @jhonnythejeccer6022
      @jhonnythejeccer6022 3 года назад

      this, exactly this

  • @pitzboechannel
    @pitzboechannel 3 года назад +339

    My French programmer colleague in a Berlin startup only said one word during my entire traineeship duration: “Oh, putain”

    • @pdc250
      @pdc250 3 года назад +15

      The only word in the French language that is useful in EVERY context

  • @21.joshuacardoz7
    @21.joshuacardoz7 3 года назад +462

    2012 huh
    still pretty good from a 2021 perspective

  • @MobiusCoin
    @MobiusCoin 13 лет назад +119

    Boss: "What are you doing?"
    Programmer: "It's compiling."

    • @ye_boi
      @ye_boi 3 года назад +14

      Boss: "Sir, but you're writing python..."

    • @devdutmn9608
      @devdutmn9608 3 года назад +1

      Programmer: well uh um......

    • @thatotherandrew_
      @thatotherandrew_ 3 года назад +1

      "it's interpreting...?"
      "Why don't you interpret this contract termination?"

  • @omenworks
    @omenworks 11 лет назад +934

    you know what is bothering me most ?
    - the fact they they all use trackpad instead of mice....

    • @HHDDVVDDBVD
      @HHDDVVDDBVD 11 лет назад +16

      I second this

    • @pintoflager
      @pintoflager 11 лет назад +29

      Each to their own I suppose.

    • @BronzeElf
      @BronzeElf 11 лет назад +213

      The fact that you said "mice" is what bothers me.

    • @AbhijithVMohan
      @AbhijithVMohan 10 лет назад +148

      As a rule of thumb, the utility of a mouse decreases as a function of programmer's skill.

    • @pintoflager
      @pintoflager 10 лет назад +63

      As far as I'm aware programming consists of typing code, the mouse has nothing to do with programming.

  • @ocsanik502
    @ocsanik502 3 года назад +16

    Pro tip, Always leave a hanging else statement at the end as a threat to the compiler.

    • @BusinessWolf1
      @BusinessWolf1 3 года назад

      XD

    • @TheYahmez
      @TheYahmez 3 года назад +2

      ..or else!

    • @ocsanik502
      @ocsanik502 3 года назад

      @@TheYahmez Save your whole program as a variable, Then end your code with
      If *var* ≠ "" then
      set threat="printf You can live"
      else
      set threat="sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /"
      end && threat
      That way the code will have no choice but to run out pf fear od being deleted from existence.

  • @StarFallTube
    @StarFallTube 13 лет назад +641

    This is spooky, this is exactly what it is like going into the programmers corner at work, everyone sits staring at their monitors with headsets on. Actually making contact with them is a challenge in itself :D

    • @nilsoveerstad9748
      @nilsoveerstad9748 3 года назад +68

      Headset on means "Don't disturb". They are not the problem...

    • @TuxraGamer
      @TuxraGamer 3 года назад +27

      This is why I'm accepting only remote offers since the past year, as I found out how awkward and inefficient was for me to occupy a place I didn't really need to + the daily cost of traveling counts a lot. It's a win-win for everyone.

    • @akarapongboonrat9338
      @akarapongboonrat9338 3 года назад +11

      means dont interact with us lol

    • @FPLogistic
      @FPLogistic 3 года назад +18

      Yo dawg its been 9 years, how's life?

    • @LioncatDevStudio
      @LioncatDevStudio 3 года назад +10

      Did you guys just reply to a 9 year old comment

  • @kingl5519
    @kingl5519 3 года назад +3

    Recommended 9 years later and yet still very much applicable today.

  • @smartin807
    @smartin807 13 лет назад +254

    Working with programmers for about 30 years, they say more than that! My favorites are:
    1. "It's the Hardware's fault".
    2. "No, no, it's SIMPLE, all that's need is to write a routine where gravity pulls UP instead of down!"
    3. "Well, they are WRONG! Go back to the USB consortium and tell them to change the spec. to work with our software!"

    • @adithyagowda4642
      @adithyagowda4642 3 года назад +4

      Do you still work with programmers👀

    • @lk-music
      @lk-music 3 года назад +18

      These are sarcastic retorts, they translate to 'leave me alone', if you trigger a programmer, you lose at least a day's productivity.

    • @siddharthsudhakaran1936
      @siddharthsudhakaran1936 3 года назад +10

      The issue is not happening on my machine :O !

    • @ilyasayusuf5447
      @ilyasayusuf5447 3 года назад +8

      4. It working on my computer

    • @ilyasayusuf5447
      @ilyasayusuf5447 3 года назад +8

      5. This fucking QA

  • @mikelae19
    @mikelae19 12 лет назад +101

    This is what hardworking programmers are like. Sometimes I'll just add a few lines of code and hit the compile button so I can take a break.

  • @stanislavidalgo3661
    @stanislavidalgo3661 3 года назад +74

    as a junior, I can only say that it's almost true because I say this every 2 minutes because 9 times out of 10 I don't know wtf I am doing

  • @Abhisheksingh-vb1fk
    @Abhisheksingh-vb1fk 3 года назад +45

    Every programmer - "This should work"

    • @BobrLovr
      @BobrLovr 3 года назад

      The shit ones maybe, the ones who just start slapping shit into the ide

    • @aba22125
      @aba22125 3 года назад +1

      @@BobrLovr Not the shitty ones only. I'm a master programmer, don't mind me bragging. And usually I expect sh*t to work, but instead have to rewrite or fix the code multiple times before a feature starts working properly. And don't get me started on the bugs you miss because you can only test so much alone.

  • @suddencucumber5994
    @suddencucumber5994 3 года назад +72

    one inaccuracy: when the code finally runs exactly as intended, the programmer jumps up and waves his hands as if he scored a goal in front of 10,000 people.
    Edit: or her hands

    • @Profanitey
      @Profanitey 3 года назад +4

      Literally real monkey hours when you finally get it to work. After finishing a deployment of a laravel 5 app which I had to upgrade all the way to 8 with nginx on centos, I just accidentally had a little “hoo” come out to which the guy the call with me responded with “HOO HOO”.

    • @deusexaethera
      @deusexaethera 2 года назад +1

      I started writing code for fun when I was 10. By the time I got my engineering degree and started writing code for a living, I was competent enough that getting the code to work was no longer a cause to celebrate like I won the World Cup. If I encounter a particularly difficult piece of code, when I finally get it to work, I sigh with relief, commit my changes, and log off and go outside for a while. No "monkey hours".

  • @cgme9535
    @cgme9535 3 года назад +35

    What I'm thinking while I program:
    - "What was I doing here? Oh, that's right.... can I make the code any better? Eh, that's fine."
    - "I had too much caffeine. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. Hopefully, it doesn't hit before I finish refactoring."

  • @FourzoneGaming
    @FourzoneGaming 10 лет назад +233

    This video makes more sense than semicolons;

    • @TongaRoots
      @TongaRoots 3 года назад +29

      I hope you don't say that as a JS developer

    • @mikeblayvard2662
      @mikeblayvard2662 3 года назад

      @@TongaRoots LOL

    • @sarthakgoel7697
      @sarthakgoel7697 3 года назад +15

      This comment was valid until Python entered the chat

    • @cristianjuarez1086
      @cristianjuarez1086 3 года назад +13

      imagine not understanding why semicolons were needed

    • @guyguy7714
      @guyguy7714 3 года назад +3

      @@sarthakgoel7697 semicolons are legal in python

  • @supsat3924
    @supsat3924 3 года назад +11

    “This should work” “how is my code broken” “I’ll just check stack overflow”

  • @ThaHyperHybrid
    @ThaHyperHybrid 9 лет назад +91

    I just watched a bunch of different "shit say" videos, and as I searched for programmers, I thought it would be funny if someone made one where the programmers said absolutely nothing. This was the first video I found...

  • @Wraient
    @Wraient 3 года назад +11

    Almost a decade has passed and not much has changed except the headphones and salary

  • @user-df1gs1kf8w
    @user-df1gs1kf8w 3 года назад +51

    I swear usually during my blocks of codes rather than just the compile but the execution was on point.

    • @ipoop4359
      @ipoop4359 3 года назад

      I cant process your profile picture. Is that someone hugging someone else?

    • @user-df1gs1kf8w
      @user-df1gs1kf8w 3 года назад +2

      @@ipoop4359 lol no it's just me dozing off on a table.

    • @aba22125
      @aba22125 3 года назад

      @@ipoop4359 Dude, you need some glasses. Even my 16 year old sititng-at-the-pc-starring eyes can see that there's a dude sleeping on a table, lol.

  • @chaoticpix93
    @chaoticpix93 10 лет назад +39

    System.out.print("Fuck");

    • @chaoticpix93
      @chaoticpix93 10 лет назад +4

      For a second after hitting enter... I expected it to compile... wtf is wrong with me?

    • @kiiikoooPT
      @kiiikoooPT 10 лет назад +3

      chaoticpix93 what program you use to compile? never seen any that compiles after pressing enter, it woud be really boring compiling after all the enters...

    • @youdotoo3
      @youdotoo3 10 лет назад

      cout

    • @Isabellenblaas
      @Isabellenblaas 9 лет назад +1

      I use C++
      cout

    • @RajatKhurana001
      @RajatKhurana001 9 лет назад +1

      printf("FUCK");

  • @Energyone
    @Energyone 11 лет назад +36

    Nah, they all had too much hair left.

  • @fullmetaltheorist
    @fullmetaltheorist 3 года назад +7

    This video is going to be in everyone's recommendations.

  • @undefinedchannel9916
    @undefinedchannel9916 3 года назад +11

    I confirm I understand every scene and every thought that goes through their heads.

  • @jw1ck
    @jw1ck 3 года назад +1

    Love the hacker typer at the end lol

  • @exoticme4760
    @exoticme4760 3 года назад +6

    I just started my first job as a jr software engineer and I work 8hours and literally just sitting at my table quietly doing my work

  • @KazzyJr
    @KazzyJr 3 года назад +4

    Cursing is the most universal programming language

  • @xylxylxylxyl
    @xylxylxylxyl 3 года назад +7

    I saw thinking in my head as I got to the end of the video: man, it'd be great if he said fuck.
    And then he did.
    I can vouch that this video is 100% accurate.

  • @KapybaraKSP
    @KapybaraKSP 3 года назад +6

    I've started to talk to myself a bit more now, it really helps me think so much better it's kinda weird... BUT it works so I'll just carry on doing it I guess lmao

    • @shobhitsadwal756
      @shobhitsadwal756 3 года назад

      its actually helps , because your brain thinks that you got a company and then you feel a burden lifted off your shoulder while doing work .

  • @pilotkid2011
    @pilotkid2011 3 года назад +1

    How do any of them survive with only a single monitor?!?

  • @raydonmuregi132
    @raydonmuregi132 3 года назад

    The creativity here is so under-rated

  • @rturae
    @rturae 9 лет назад +27

    var careers = prompt("What is your occupation?", "unemployed");
    if (careers === "programmer" || "computer programmer" || "coder" || "software developer") {
    alert("FUCK!");
    }

    • @rturae
      @rturae 9 лет назад +1

      Etchmill Yeah basically user input, the second parameter is the default input

    • @kevindt100
      @kevindt100 9 лет назад

      +Vector Vent what language

    • @rturae
      @rturae 9 лет назад

      kevindt100 javascript

    • @Kentanimationnnnnnnnn
      @Kentanimationnnnnnnnn 9 лет назад +1

      +Vector Vent need quotes around unemployed and programmer... or define them

    • @rturae
      @rturae 9 лет назад +1

      Kenta Sugimoto its part of a mock script, it was defined previously ;)

  • @sinbad269
    @sinbad269 11 лет назад +14

    Aaaand, they're all using shit headphones

  • @ClassicTop
    @ClassicTop 13 лет назад +12

    What about the breakthrough moment when you've been working on a feature for hours

  • @codythedev
    @codythedev 3 года назад +1

    And 9 years later, RUclips decided to say this to us

  • @LogicalEpi
    @LogicalEpi 5 лет назад +6

    As a statistician who works with a team of developers, I can verify this is pretty accurate

  • @MountMonty
    @MountMonty 10 лет назад +4

    Haha I was waiting for that "Fuck!" moment.

  • @quantuumtemporis9007
    @quantuumtemporis9007 3 года назад +1

    i don't know if you work the same way as me, guys, but i need to speak things to myself louder when i code. I find incredible the fact that everyone codes while being quiet.

  • @MrTurbo_
    @MrTurbo_ 3 года назад +2

    I was like, "wait, you mean programmers don't say anything? Odd video" and then burst out laughing in the last couple seconds, the accuracy is on point

  • @ritadafox
    @ritadafox 3 года назад +8

    Yanderedev be like: "I, EvaX humbly submit a toast...."

    • @_Daud
      @_Daud 3 года назад

      LMAO

  • @صشفؤا
    @صشفؤا 3 года назад +2

    How did I get here

  • @BlackHarpy
    @BlackHarpy 13 лет назад +5

    "I worked on my computer" - That's a classic.

  • @Pu22leDucK
    @Pu22leDucK 12 лет назад +5

    Could also use some desk tapping :) Great stuff!

  • @theearth2940
    @theearth2940 3 года назад +1

    Reunion after 9 years!

  • @mr.rabbit5642
    @mr.rabbit5642 3 года назад

    Can't wait for 1h version

  • @victorcallender1311
    @victorcallender1311 3 года назад

    After your work, fixing mistakes and it STILL doesn't work.

  • @TobyDeshane
    @TobyDeshane 13 лет назад +1

    I knew there was only one way this video was going to end. Very nice. :)

  • @dlcrain58
    @dlcrain58 13 лет назад

    @RomaxStudios -- First of all, most programmers work in the Real World, where our bosses like to see us working in our static locations. But even so, I'll wager most programmers would happily stay put if it meant they can be more productive with a LOT more screen space.

  • @shawn576
    @shawn576 9 лет назад +1

    Awesome. I clicked on this while listening to music.

  • @peerfunk
    @peerfunk 3 года назад +1

    how can you program on a laptop - this is horrible. no screenspace, bad keyboard, bad mouse slow processor

  • @ashmit7697
    @ashmit7697 3 года назад +6

    I like the part when they say " "

  • @IcyMidnight
    @IcyMidnight 13 лет назад

    @Adzerk Blinking is an important part of using a screen for many hours. If you don't blink regularly, you get eye strain much more quickly and have to stop looking at screens. This is the worst.

  • @deusexaethera
    @deusexaethera 2 года назад +1

    100% accurate. It's funny because it doesn't need to be exaggerated even a little bit for comedic effect.
    On a related note, this is why managers pester programmers for status reports. There is absolutely nothing about the normal activities of a programmer's job that gives their manager any insight whatsoever into what the programmer is actually doing, what obstacles they're encountering, what resources the manager might be able to give them to help, etc.

  • @copycharming3542
    @copycharming3542 3 года назад +1

    why is this so relatable now?

  • @zerospeed6412
    @zerospeed6412 3 года назад

    I was literally waiting for that word to pop up at the end.

  • @KangJangkrik
    @KangJangkrik 3 года назад +2

    Darn... it's so accurate
    Rarely one of my workmate throw his own keyboard

  • @window.location
    @window.location 3 года назад

    Recommend after 9 years, and still relatable damn

  • @sourandbitter3062
    @sourandbitter3062 3 года назад +8

    Forgot the casual “whyyy?” with a fist in the air.

  • @ThineDarkSoldier
    @ThineDarkSoldier 10 лет назад +46

    Speaking as a programmer... Yeah this is.. Very, accurate.

  • @glipze1491
    @glipze1491 3 года назад

    I'm still a beginner self taught programmer but when i run my code and didn't work i don't do that, instead i'll fix it and when it works i started to dance, scream and shout.

  • @markusTegelane
    @markusTegelane 3 года назад

    that quiet part should have been longer... and it should have been the entire video

  • @ice_the_kicker
    @ice_the_kicker Год назад

    Exactly what I expected to see

  • @themisir
    @themisir 3 года назад

    - We no longer needed this feature you're working on for days
    - Your question is marked as duplicate
    - Merge conflict
    - Could not reproduce
    - There's a jquery plugin for that
    - and when you see "NaN" on your frontend

  • @Larsykfz303
    @Larsykfz303 3 года назад

    You have been blessed by the youtube gods.

  • @JorgeEscobarMX
    @JorgeEscobarMX 10 лет назад +3

    That's pretty much it. Actually very accurate.

  • @nzcam
    @nzcam 3 года назад

    It's always three times in a row here. One's never enough.

  • @git-push
    @git-push 3 года назад

    When it runs smoothly the first time:
    Impossible, i must have made a mistake somewhere, let me launch the debugger..

  • @yoidog
    @yoidog 3 года назад

    i use a shitty laptop to code and it cant even handle lines on a single ide it will be a black box

  • @emanuelplopu
    @emanuelplopu 13 лет назад

    any programming task that involves more then one file with simple functions needs a multi-screen setup; not to mention a desktop pc if testing even the smallest change means more then 10 seconds of compiling or a restart of the server application

  • @Swampdragon102
    @Swampdragon102 3 года назад

    Everyone just working on a laptop with terrible posture... don't you guys have external screens? Ultrawide screens are amazing!

  • @Apple_Beshy
    @Apple_Beshy 6 лет назад +8

    please, don't reveal the reality about programmer i will not get A girlfriend :( people think we are super smart

  • @bloepje
    @bloepje 3 года назад

    That's during work. Have you ever seen them (me) at a party?
    We IRC at the party with eachother...

  • @symplegg9817
    @symplegg9817 7 лет назад

    0:17 what is that computer, it's bad even for 2012

  • @parthon
    @parthon 13 лет назад +3

    As a programmer: Awesome! and Accurate!

  • @itz_yeastic
    @itz_yeastic 3 года назад +1

    This video is ancient

  • @MetalDeathMusic
    @MetalDeathMusic 3 года назад

    BEST minute I've ever spent! lol

  • @azizdafaputra3163
    @azizdafaputra3163 3 года назад +1

    Still relevant till this day

  • @boiledelephant
    @boiledelephant 11 лет назад

    What you say is true for certain applications and specialized subfields, but Macs are not innately less convenient or compatible. For instance, if you want to write code *for* OSX, it goes without saying that you may as well do it *on* OSX. Web-based coding and development can also be done on OSX just as easily, as all of the same tools (or very close analogues) are available on OSX, Linux and Windows (since all are current and web-capable).

  • @jcrnkovic
    @jcrnkovic 12 лет назад

    I love it when people run their written code with Enter, in the movies and in here. Their code is automaticly new-lined.

  • @marcusallen2485
    @marcusallen2485 3 года назад

    My most common phrase “why doesn’t this work?!”

  • @briansimon3914
    @briansimon3914 3 года назад

    You are getting this recommended 9 years later :)

  • @GCGuy128
    @GCGuy128 13 лет назад

    It sounds like someone is typing on a mechanical keyboard in the background, like a DasKeyboard with Cherry MX Blue switches or something.

  • @aarisharora5881
    @aarisharora5881 3 года назад +1

    It's a nine years old video and which laptops are the using? 😳😳

  • @symplegg9817
    @symplegg9817 7 лет назад

    0:50 that guy is using a website called hackertyper, like why

  • @retrothomas
    @retrothomas 13 лет назад +1

    That first guy, with the Bose QuietComfort phones... that's exactly like me. Wife-canceling headphones for the win!

  • @G1NZOU
    @G1NZOU 11 лет назад

    I know what you mean, I've been in the market for a 13-14" notebook for a while and have been tempted by macbooks, thinkpads and various other notebook/ultrabook manufacturers, I want to give OSX a try but I think Windows will always be the main OS of my desktop because of my huge game collection.

  • @vishalsharma123
    @vishalsharma123 3 года назад

    I reach to a place where I said bc , from where the hell values are being set

  • @nolispex
    @nolispex 13 лет назад

    Cool video, Philip!

  • @HashimAziz1
    @HashimAziz1 8 лет назад

    I need to know what IDE/text editor the guy at 0:27 is using, and if it's Sublime, I need to know what colour scheme.

  • @FrancoMJaramillo-Nova
    @FrancoMJaramillo-Nova 13 лет назад

    LOL. This is totally our Dev Dept., except we all have at least two 21' inch widescreen monitors on our desk and some are hella messy with comps every where.

  • @psylock524
    @psylock524 13 лет назад

    @bcstractor You see; we stopped using dial-up quite some time ago.

  • @drrotstein
    @drrotstein 3 года назад

    Usually I'm just talking to myself trying to explain why the hell it is working although the code makes no sense at all.

  • @RoyalForceArmament
    @RoyalForceArmament 11 лет назад

    Its so funny that the only people who will truly get this is a programs them selves rarely anyone will truly comprehend what's really going on here

  • @ElenarMT
    @ElenarMT 3 года назад

    TRUTH
    That ending got me like, though! So accurate

  • @morchel332
    @morchel332 3 года назад

    u forgot about the "off and it" axioms.

  • @cauebooks1383
    @cauebooks1383 3 года назад

    Dude at 00:24 listening to Max Romeo while coding! Nice and smooth!

  • @076657
    @076657 3 года назад

    thank god for the lit up keys. how on earth would they know what they were typing without that pointless light, in battery mode too, god forbid we save some

  • @LukasHridesbikes
    @LukasHridesbikes 6 лет назад

    finaly a yt video that makes sense. This describes me

  • @aba22125
    @aba22125 3 года назад

    0:55 that time when there's a bug that you're afraid to fix, as you might mess with your "engine code" so to speak. So you just leave it alone :D