Sister Tells Me She Needs My $20,000 I Was Supposed To Gift Her To Pay Off Wedding Deposits...Oh Boy
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
- My sister and I each got $25,000 to throw a wedding. I got married first but my wedding was intimate and small so I had saved $20,000 for my future. My sister is getting married soon and now she's booking everything. Today she calls me and tells me she has used my wedding gift to cover her deposits but I tell her I'm not planning to gift her anything...
#weddingpayment #sisterstory #listenablestory
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"..the survival instinct of a panda raised in captivity."
I f'kn _DIED_ there, man~🤣🤣🤣
Reminds of the panda that took 10 years and a global pandemic to figure out how to make a baby panda lol
The screaming fiancé story, I as a woman, was embarassed for OP and all women because of the fiancé beahviour. What about mysoginy? Were the women barred from helping? And I get it that fear is something you cannot rationalise and she should get help, but let's face it I would have died of embarassment too in OP shoes
Story 3: i despise those people so much, i call them screamers since anything makes them scream. I can show them a piece of fluff and they scream. Its so infuriating
Boat story: Ugh, OP's fiancé sounds like that annoying character that gets people killed in survival/horror movies 💀. The one you keep hoping will get offed, but somehow sacrifices other people instead and survives until almost the end.
Nah, he is the dumb jock who walks them into the house were everyone gets murdered, and she is the tizzy blonde who dies after finding him dead already.
His situational awareness is entirely non-existent, the whole "unexpected storm" is generally really obvious if you check the weather forecast and watch the horizon, those big black rain clouds don't just appear out of nowhere, having to toe down a boat because "suddenly waves and rain" is a sign no one was paying attention to the signs that the weather was changing. But then OP basically admitted they were drinking, so I am not surprised they failed at basic boat safety. Tie down and secure your boat before you get drunk, not after.
Yeah. I know full well I'd be screaming back at her to stfu
She has no sense of danger, but will scream her head off when faced with danger?
It sounds like she'd walk into a burning building because, "it looks warm in there", but then scream because she's in a burning building.
Also, I know what you mean about that type of character.
my husband is like this, and the OP is Justified in getting upset with her. My husband and I were lost in a bad part of the city at night and he cluelessly yelled allowed our predicament and his frustration. And you better believe that I told him that by being so hysterical he could have drawn attention to us which could have gotten us in a much worse situation. In life-or-death situations like that there is no room for coddling people. The boyfriend had every right to be upset with her. And he should seriously consider whether or not this is a good life partner. What if their child gets attacked by an animal? What if they get lost somewhere bad like we did? She can't be losing her ever-loving mind every time a situation goes sour or she's going to put herself and everyone around her in danger. This has nothing to do with misogyny, this has to do with safety and reliability.
The proverbial "white woman" in the Scary Movie franchise 😅
As for the hysterical "we're all gonna die!" fiancee, she is not a good bet for parenthood. Will she do as one Reddit young mother did? She screamed and ran out of the house after she caused a grease fire, leaving her newborn in the house. Or will she run out with twins and drop one in a neighbor's yard while running away holding the other? There are many such stories. Marriage is a partnership, if one partner loses their mind at any perceived crisis, no matter which partner it is, they are unreliable, untrustworthy and a danger. Therapy can't repair every malfunction reliably or quickly.
Therapy only works on people who admit they have a problem and want to work on it. For people who deny they have a problem, like fiancée, therapy won't help at all.
For real, I didn't really even take any misogynistic undertones from this, I figured they probably weren't too experienced and let the ones who knew what the hell they were doing handle the situation. And speaking as a fellow woman, I think I would have pimp slapped the fiancé until she calmed the f*ck down. It sounds like any time any situation escalates, she breaks into hysterics. No wonder he friggin' snapped after an ACTUAL situation.
@@ashh4929 to be honest, I’m surprised none of the other ladies slapped her. If not during but after the crisis
@@lorilancaster5917 Seriously, what kind ov friends does this person have?!
My friends would have slapped the ever holy crap out ov me for acting like that 😂
Okay I recognize your concerns and agree. But I also know what you're talking about with the twins in the neighbours yard you're referring to. The twin that got yard yeeted was slipping out of her mother's grasp while she was on the run from an aggressive dog. It was a case of; slow down to adjust your grip thus allowing the dog to catch up, possibly let the kid fall and be dog bait, or throw the child behind a secure fence where the dog can't get her. In that case, I'd say the mother did the right thing. Dog attacks are no joke.
That said, the woman in this story is a complete liability in an emergency. She will make the situation worse. Or at least not be helpful if she's ever needed.
about the boat one: i couldn’t help but laugh at the “we’re going to die” and “god save us”. ridiculous, and op is NTA!!
"A new Hope." My mind immediately went to STAR WARS.
Lol I’m name after someone else while sharing a name with my aunt, and never a big deal. The fact that they ever forewarned her is very kind. NTA at all, no one has dips on a name
Screaming and panicking person. That is why people used to be slapped to settle them down. It works.
That’s begging for a DV charge these days lol
Makes me think of "Clue" when Mr. Green slapped Mrs. Peacock!
@@3adgamd3r Just have one of the other girls do it. Then it'll just be an assault charge.
@@3adgamd3r Eh, it´s in the middle of a heavy downpour with high wind and high waves. I´m assuming the boat was also very rocky and unstable, so accident happen.
This girl is going to get someone killed someday. Let's say OP or one of their children has a very bad accident and her reflex is to scream and cey over him instead of calling an ambulance, they're going to die.
Your fiancée is going to be shocked when someone slaps her to “snap her out of it”
Like I’m not gone lie the boat story makes me feel like I’d tell her if she doesn’t shut up I’d push her . 😂
I would have slapped her for real. The experienced people were working on safety. I know nothing about boats, so my only role would have been Psycho Control 😂
I’m female and I’m with you there.
Story 2: I have a cousin who had the same name as me and in my experience we don't really care, even sometime me jokes about it but that just me. This name has sentimental value that has nothing to do with your SIL, maybe you did handle the situation wrong but you have every right to name your child what you want.
There are 3 of us in my family with the same name. I just get called by my middle name.
Op Should've TOLD SIL,that the Name came from Her Great Grandmother, Not the SIL.
@@andynieuwenhuis7833 It´s unclear if OP told SIL about the great granda, but she did told her that the name didn´t came from SIL, they just happened to be the same name.
It should be enough for SIL.
@@vivanyatodd5036 - Actually, OP said in her post she told SiL *at the original 'sit down',* and "Hope didn't like it...", as if it was Hope's decision to make in the first place (they were merely giving her the 'sentimental backstory', *not* asking permission).
OP apparently had to 're-explain' this to other family members, as well, but Hope *still* 'didn't like it'. 🙄
And *that's* Hope's 'problem', *not* OP's.
Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should
Story 3: NTA. Everyone was likely scared as the situation was not what anyone expected, but panicking like she did wasn't helping at all. OPs right to call her out on it and point out that she's made it clear she cannot be trusted to keep her head in an already stressful situation. OPs honestly better off just ending things now and finding a more levelheaded partner.
Absolutely right!
Boat Story: OP is NTA; the situation couldn't have been that life-threatening if everyone was level-headed except HER! Fifteen minutes of full-on screaming and wailing? It was light wind and rain; they weren't on the god-forsaken Titanic. The boyfriend is correct; if she can't keep a level head in such a minor issue already being handled, then what would happen if the OP or the other men were knocked out. Would she leave him to die? How people act during an emergency is very telling; screaming your head off for 15 minutes solves nothing.
The sister of a OP is deciding to spend that much money on a wedding she use that money. That’s all she gets. She does not get OP part. It doesn’t work that way.
Just for the record, a couple with three older kids on an income of $300,000 and living in Manhattan, Los Angeles, Miami, Silicon Valley is definitely middle class, not even upper middle class.
Its not even a lot in the suburbs.
That's true, and parents don't have to hand over their hard earned money to their children.
Like the one bonehead that replied, things have gotten way more expensive since 20 years ago. Therefore, they should know that $300,000 doesn’t go *that* far today-especially to put a household in the category of rich. Further, OP did say they were going to help with college-not just turn them completely loose, which is generous within itself. Parents don’t owe their kids anything financially once they turn 18. Sorry but that is the truth. I truly don’t understand today’s entitlement-and it seems to be from all generations. Lastly, please explain to me why the parents should work themselves to death and not enjoy THEIR earnings just so their spoiled, entitled, lazy kids can live the sweet life when they are adults. If the parents can work, then the kids can too.
Thank God for these replies! I thought I was the only one thinking the same thing!
People are living expecting to be paid their way off. Never in my life have I waited or expected my mom to foot any school payment after finishing high school. Since the new studies are my choice I should be the one to pay it. They at least offered to pay half of their studies and the rest they had to pay, which if they have a scholarship should be able to cover part of it so the debt is lower to none depending on where they choose to study.
Now, I know that USA people believe that going to an expensive university will give them a better paying job and is worth making the debt.
It seems that by the Reddit comments it is customary to leave your parents to f@ off and give them their hard working money so you don't screw your life in debt, which again is optional. That fairy tale of work hard now you are young so you enjoy later is not applicable for them anymore as they are parents and should be expected to sacrifice until they die.
Story 1 I never understood people wanting to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on a wedding with all the stress that goes with it. I'd rather focus on the marriage than a one-day party.
Some people love being the center of attention, if only for one day.
@@jamestown8398 Gotta feed their delusions of grandeur, y'know.
@@Procrastinator1948 Facts
I know ...right...When Hubby and I got married over 20 years ago, we did something small. We preferred to not go broke and get a better place to live than have a big party and be broke or worse...in debt.....
They spend too much time watching Disney princesses, lol.
But for some peoples, it´s basically an unspoken rule. Similar to "Don´t wear white to a wedding" to others. It´s unspoken, expected, and bring shame if not followed unless you got a very good reason and open minded and understanding family.
Story 1: you know what makes a wedding trashy, when the bride and groom have unrealistic expectations for everyone to follow for their day, like the man in your sister give you $20,000 out of her savings. How much did your loving sister give to your wedding, since she's so entitled to your money then you must be entitled to hers right? You both got an equal amount of money, she wants to go over budget she's going to have to pay for that herself you don't owe her anything especially out of your savings. That's not even getting into the part where she talked crap about your wedding because you didn't go into debt for it, she especially shouldn't get anything after that ever. Anyone that comes up to you tell them you'll gladly let your sister know their wallets are open.
OP should be smart enough to know her sister is the AH.
@@johnbradbury8610 OP isn't really asking if she's the AH, she just wants to vent. The family members are being annoying enough that she is looking for confirmation that everyone is being ridiculous in their expectations. And now she has ammunition if she decides she's fine with firing back at the family AH's; she can pull up the reddit post and show them all the responses.
And I’m sure the family will trash talk more about how OPs sister kept peddling everyone to pay for her wedding than how low key OPs wedding was.
Sounds like the sister is willing to burn any bridges to may her dream wedding possible.
Sister will be back in a couple of years ‘working her network’ for an mlm. Guaranteed.
@@midnightblue1975 or she’s having a baby as though she’s the first woman in history to get pregnant
Last story: she offered to pay for her own room and OP even found a problem with that 🙄
Yeah I find that weird, what's OP'S problem?? I'm sure she'll be fine in a room of her own.
OP’s problem is he wants the oldest to prevent the youngest and her boyfriend from knocking boots, but he’s too much of a manipulative coward to say it.
@@JosieJOK thank you. I was getting creepy vibes from OP. He tries to control all arrangements of the vacation with his money. He should be thankful, granted if he was sane, that his kids want to pay their own lodging
@@JosieJOK & possibly doesn't want the 23 yr old from a having a holiday fling.
Screaming girlfriend story: OP is NTA. Screaming while people are trying to deal with a situation is not useful at all. OP's girlfriend is a very hard person to deal with and there's no misogyny there.
I swear I'm gonna trademark a Bridezilla pinata for an after party event for anyone who needs to decompress after surviving some of these weddings/brides/families. OP story 1: NTA and you had a nice wedding, the one you & your spouse wanted.
I love this idea. You'll be a millionaire with all the entitled people out there.😂
That is an awesome idea. DO IT!!
Why do I get the idea that it would have mini bottles of liquor in them.......=D
@@Hecatate It's a great idea, but they'd get smashed up (even the plastic ones) by overly-vigorous swings of the bat.
Sweets (candy) with alcohol centres? So they don’t get smashed (the guests, not the bottles,) in 15 minutes flat! LOL!
I’m flabbergasted at the amount of people in the US who demand money from others to pay for wedding and/or honeymoon bills. Is this customary? I’ve never heard of this in my country. If anyone demanded money of me to attend their wedding, I’d laugh in their face!
@Wendy P;Normally, the bride's Parents pay for the Wedding. OP'S SISTER is spending to much on Her Wedding/Honeymoon. As it said in the story BOTH sisters got Over $20,000 for a Wedding. The Sister WANTS A VERY BIG EVENT That she Can't afford to pay with the Money She has. E ven though Some of the Relatives did send Her Extra $$MONEY.
Years ago the parents used to pay for the wedding as a sort of gift to the husband. And like all traditions in America, its kicking and screaming on its way out. Nobody I know whose been married had their parents gift more than a little bit. We paid for 85% of our wedding, any money given to us was offered and we never asked for a cent from anybody. We made a budget and we're sticking to it ourselves and if there was something we couldn't afford we were going to go without. So it's an old outdated custom but some cheap people will still try to bring it back for their own benefit.
The wedding industry, added to the bizarro world of social media, have turned weddings into a competition in America. The percentage of young Americans whose fondest desires are fame and adulation are staggering. When you factor in the death of the American Dream of achieving the good life, we hit the point of desperation. That's why Brides and Grooms become so money hungry and irrationally entitled.
I've worked in luxury retail and the floral industry for decades. I have registered the "happy couple's" gift choices, and have been a witness to the shock and awe of their family's reactions to their audacious gift choices. That is nothing new.
The philosophy for most has always been that the couple's friends reciprocate in kind for the support they gave at their friend group's weddings.
The trend to demand money from anyone perceived as having money sitting around not being spent, is a logical outcome for people who clearly want to live as royalty for their wedding.
Our economy is based on consumers consuming as their patriotic duty. We were told after 9/11 to get out and shop as a FU to the terrorists. Why is anyone surprised that America's Brides have taken conspicuous consumption to such ridiculous levels?
People like that make the US look bad 😭 I swear it isnt all of us, its just that people being reasonable isnt interesting enough for social media
Early retirement story: NTA NTA NTA!!!!! No one is owedd anyone else's money. No one has to get their tuition paid for. I grew up poor and will never understand people being angry about someone else's money.
You are SO right! What's with all the comments that claim that the parents should have told the kids before that they wouldn't be getting big sums of money?? that's totally creepy if they were counting on ma and pa doling out the loot. Talk about self-entitled greedy brats! The parents deserve to enjoy the fruits of their labour, to travel and do what they want. The audacity of the offspring being mad that their parents want to "party" the money away as if the offspring are entitled to it!
I'm so happy to see others think like that. All those entitled brats (kids and commenters) made my head spin.
No one is entitled to an inheritance. Entitled people think they are, lol, but they aren’t.
Very true. Inheritance is a gift, not an obligation.
Agreed. I would opt for early retirement if I could as well. Also, these comments seem to gloss over the very real fact that salaries often reflect cost of living in the area. If OP says $300K is not rich for them, it's probably not.
Story1….do not enable prideful Narcissists. Don’t give her anymore money.
The sister doesn't own the name "Hope"
I'm not understanding why some of the comments for the inheritance story are saying they aren't going to pay for the kids school. He literally said the last huge amount of money they will get is for college. My grandparents did that for their 3 kids. The house they owed they sold as soon as the youngest graduated from college and either sold or gave their cars away and bought a mobile home to travel. They have nothing in their name except for the mobile home and their bank account. What ever is left after they pass is willed to go to the grandchildren not their kids
Well, I wouldn't want to be in an apocalypse with that chick.
Also, how could she save her future kid if something happened? She's going to stand there screaming instead of acting?
I see what he means....
Is she high maintenence normally?
"seeing your family gush over a new Hope" uh, guess what there are thousands of Hopes...
Last story: what the last comment said, although I saw it more as OP is trying to keep the couple from doing anything by sticking a third wheel in the mix. Yes you're paying for it, but you know what you're doing tell both of your daughter's.
Especially since the one daughter was willing to pay for her own room, but OP vetoed it.
Yup. They're trying to play the "nice guy" by inviting the boyfriend, but make the other daughter be the "bad guy" and be the chaperone.
Don't invite the boyfriend if you're not cool with the boyfriend being there.
Light rain is ZERO issue for boating... Zero... Those people don't know anything about boats whatsoever... Light rain is even better... And everyone went on a misogyny rant about women when the other ladies... WERE CALM AF!!!! NOT SCREAMING THEIR HEADS OFF...
well, light rain can be very, very important to baoting the tide can also react to it and also it can signal more to come.
@@MrHelicx and it wasn’t light rain the entire time
No one would want to be in a room with a couple. Op is kidding themselves if they think the couple will only sleep in there!!!
Thanks for the stories XOS. Some people do panic in dangerous situations but they can also add to the danger if an able body has to abandon rescue efforts to tend to them. Practicing for those situations could help
It's not a discussion... What discussion went on??? It's OP's baby's name END
It def wasn’t a discussion. It was clearly a we’re giving you months to process your emotions on this. Given her behavior it’s no wonder her relationship is strained.
The inheritance one . . . . NTA no one's child is entitled to their parents money. I think that bits ridiculous that people work as hard as they do and then leave it all to their kids. Let your kids pull themselves up. The reason 1% of the majority of wealth and power is because of this. Yes OP should have told their kids they only pla Ed to leave them X amount each and that they would use the rest. My father told me he was going to leave me his life insurance and then when he out lived it and could no longer afford it he told me he had enough for his funeral costs. I told him I didn't need anything and I and my brother would take care of the funeral. Parents owe us nothing past 18 anything extra like school, housing, presents is all just extra. I hate this greedy world we live in now.
It does sound like Op daughters were waiting for Op to die so they could spend the money
People who pay ridiculous amounts of money for their weddings, are ALWAYS divorced within the year.
Agree it seems the more expensive the wedding the shorter the marriage
Should I cry too that OP used my name too without my permission??? What a goober!!😂
Story one is hilarious, she wants your 20 grand? Oh hell no….she wouldn’t get a dime from me.
Story 1: cut and run. It's not your problem. I'd block this sister of yours or she's just going to keep trash talking you when she's not trying to get you to part with your savings. I truly feel sorry for op's future brother in law. That poor bastard has no idea what he's getting himself into, if his fiance is this entitled and they're not even married yet.
The first story about cheap wedding vs ridiculously expensive wedding: a couple I know were finishing medical residency (bride) and a PhD in engineering (groom). They did not want a “country club” wedding, nor did they want to spend a ton of money on a big extravaganza wedding. The bride found a gorgeous designer dress at a local charity shop for $150. Her maid of honor and 2 bridesmaids also found their dresses on sale at a big chain bridal store. The bride paid for their dresses which were $90 each. For flowers, they ordered from a membership warehouse and the cost was about $250. Vases came from the thrift shop, fairy lights were strung in the trees of her parents’ home. There were about 100 people, it was warm and wonderful, lovely and enjoyable. We all got to visit with everyone, many toasts and lots of laughter. The bride’s and groom’s dads smoked 2 full briskets, plus grilled salmon. The moms made wonderful salads, plus a sweets table. The wedding cake was also from a membership warehouse, re-made from a sheet cake into a 3 tiered wedding cake decorated with fresh flowers. They had a nephew act as mc and DJ, and paid him $200 for the evening. He did a better job at 15 than many pro DJ’s! Their whole lovely wedding, complete with wine, music, borrowed China and silver flatware and vintage lace tablecloths cost a whopping $3000. Within 3 years, they’d bought a house, had great jobs, started a family. It was as elegant and wonderful a wedding as I’ve ever attended, and 30 years later, they’re still going strong. I’ve been to loads of weddings that cost $50K+, and the couple doesn’t make it past 3 years.
That sounds lovely!
It sounds LIKE OP'S youngest, is in for FANCY WEDDING But a SHORT MARRAGE.
Dang 25k for a wedding. My wedding barely cost us 10 and that's because we really liked a particular venue and we had a plated dinner. Would have been awesome to have a bonus 15k to bank.
25k from the parents, 5k from relatives, and she still wants OP' 20k.
She's a greedy bridezilla. Poor her fiancé.
@@hellefur7861that’s 50k at the minimum her fiancé probably had to spend a lot more so the wedding would be just perfect
My parents did it on 5k
heck yeah, my daily binge of stories can now commence
Story 1 - OP NTA - She is your sister and NOT your child. She had 25K to do her wedding and she wasted her money and is still "beggin" people for more money. Screw her and her sense of entitlement.
Story 2 - OP you don't need to justify to anyone what you chose to name your child. You told her as a courtesy and that should've been the end of it.
Story #1
NTA. Nobody is entitled to a gift, especially not a $25,000 gift from someone they were continuously mean to. Any relative who asks OP to pay to "keep the peace" can pay themselves if they want to.
Story #2
NTA. SIL does not own the name "Hope", she does not get a say on whether or not OP names her baby that. Especially not since the baby will be named after another relative with that name, not after SIL.
Story #3
NTA. Fiancée's reaction made a dangerous situation even more dangerous and actively hindered the group's effort to get out of it. OP's right; he can't trust her to save him if he's in a life-or-death situation. She probably wouldn't even have the mental capacity to call 911 in such a situation. Ultimately OP and Fiancée are incompatible and should go separate ways.
...
All the people voting yta or talking about "sexist overtones" are sheltered fools.
Story #4
NTA. Nobody is entitled to a gift, and that's what inheritance is - a gift. The kids didn't earn that money, they didn't work for it, they have no claim to it.
...
It's clear the people who voted yta are just jealous of OP's relative wealth. They hate him for having more money than them. They're not judging OP, they're judging the stereotypical "boomer" who they blame for their own inability to afford the things they want.
Story #5
YTA. OP meant well, and had his heart in the right place, but OP should have just gotten each daughter their own room instead of telling single daughter "I'm paying so I decide". That may be true, but single daughter can also decide not to go on the vacation.
"Not having sufficient practice" and "needing more practice" differ subtly in that the latter implies that the people will, or should, work at improving this skill, while the former holds no such implication. Since the women involved were not described as people attempting to learn more about boating -- rather, as people out enjoying a day while their husbands figured out the details -- the latter is not an accurate way of describing them, while the former is.
Money story : NTA and you need to teach the kids responsibility . I’m glad op didn’t have to explain what he has do with his money.
I've been contemplating the "inheritance" concept from the view of "our money, they're not entitled to it ".
I think that depends upon the situation in which the kids were raised.
Was there always at least one parent present with them? Did at least one parent always attend all of the kids events and activities? Did each child receive consistent 1:1 relationship and bonding time with each parent throughout their childhood? Were their parents present for birthdays and holidays and made them special for them individually? ... OR were the parents working for the money and somebody, or nobody, else participated with the children's lives? Parents are valuable to children; they're god actually. So if the parents were all about the money, then the money IS the representation the parents have provided of themselves to their children at the children's own EXPENSE, which means the. Kids are absolutely entitled to equal portion of that money because their childhood and youth was sold for it and without it they remain uncompensated for their stolen childhoods.
Just one person's perspective.
The commenters are basically saying OP and spouse can't have fun with the money they worked hard for. Instead they have to save it for their kids to live comfortably.
You have commenters say, "pay off their college loans". What for? They don't need an education, or a career if they have money waiting for them. Seems like a waste to spend it on the kids now when they can put it away for later.
OP's NTA for spending they're money how they want.
They are Ah for their attitude about their kids in fact they're attitude is so bad I think it may be projecting. OP waited for a relative to die so they'd never have to work again and now assumes their kids see them the same way they saw that relative.
OP sister got all the money she got from everyone it’s not everyone else’s fault. I need to get her out of it when she did it to herself because she would not go within a budget.
And if they feel so bad about it, they can help her but not OP sister
My sister was acting similarly when she got her paws on moms will and saw that whatever was left would be split 4 ways evenly between we 4 siblings. She whined that she should get more because 'the boys didn better that her and her hubby". Well, the joke was on her when mom ended up in the nursing home with dementia and alzheimers. After the house was sold and the nursing home vultures got theirs, the only thing left was about $4k in life insurance that was automatically split 4 ways.
DO NOT GIVE $$ TO SISTER
WHO DEMANDS YOUR $$ TO
TO PAY FOR HER MARRIAGE
EXPENSES!! SISTER PAYS FOR HER WEDDING/OP PAID FOR HERS!! STOP THE WHINING SISTER!!!
That’s because you cared more for your marriage
If I ever have kids, I'm going to name each'n'every one of them George, even the grils.
$25,000 for a wedding? I’d elope to Vegas and save the rest for something else.
boat story, this is bull. this is what i am talking about reddit he was upset that his girl was acting like a Dancel and distress. The fact that he wants her to be aware and have his back is going against gender roles. What are these comments talking about.
Screamers, the people who scream when they see a video of a car bump, these are the kind of people that make a bad situation worse cuz they will scream and run around and stress others
Reddit is incredibly misandristic. Can’t stand them tbh.
#1: "No."
#2: NTA. Tell the sister as a courtesy, not as a request.
"I'm *TELLING* you, NOT asking you. This name choice is due to my grandmother, not you. Us having this conversation is me being cordial."
Story 3: it's ironic that that one commentor would call OP sexist -- when people who write hysterical female characters like the fiancee in their books, they get called sexist for portraying women that way. NTA. The girl needed to get her act together.
.... People think 300,000 is a lot? Lmao.
People think 300k is rich… lmfao. Must be the grown adult kids living at their parents home with no bills that think this…
OP YTA. You started off with planning a family vacation, inviting the daughter's bf but screwed up with the sleeping arrangements. If daughter and her bf are already sharing a bed, I bet they would like to share a bed on the vacation too. If they pay for their own room or you pay for it and then them pay you every should be good.
I'd love to live where $300k a year is considered rich. A basic detached house here is $1mil with $1k a month for property tax and cost of living is ridiculous. I'm not in the most expensive city and $300k a year is merely comfortable living, by no means rich even if it's well above average wage.
Move south and out of the BIG cities. My husband has never made more than 50k a year, and we raised 5 kids, the youngest of which just graduated High School. 300k a year would be VERY rich in the city I live in, and would be generationally changing to most of my family and relatives. And when I say this please understand a lot of my relatives thought my HUSBAND was rich because of how much HE made (30 yrs ago) compared to what they did then.
My house at 4 bedrooms, 1 full bath, 1 3/4 bath, and 2 half bath 3 car garage, carport, and bonus room at I think 2600 finished space, and 1000 unfinished basement / garages is under 200k. If we renovated, and repaired things we MIGHT get 250k in todays market, but I doubt it. The house sits on I THINK 3/4 acre in the city, not rural area either, not a suburb but city street.
I inherited the house when my mom died, and that is why I'm a little fuzzy on the exact sq footage, I am going on what my mother had for the home owners insurance paper work, and what I used when I had the insurance put in our name. Our YEARLY property taxes are 900 for city, and 900 for county. (area East TN)
@@Cynthea_Lee We moved south 28 years ago, and people here thought we were crazy paying what we did for our home. We thought we did just fine as we came from an mid atlantic east coast city. Shortly after moving, I was making a delivery to a private school in the Boston area (I was a truck owner/operator). While helping to unload, I got to talking to the contractor and told him about our place, and he almost fell off my trailer when I told him about our place and what it cost. He said what we spent would have barely paid for a row house in Beantown.
If I ever have a wedding, it will also be at my parents backyard. Even if I did make good money, I don’t believe in fancy weddings, that you have to throw thousands of dollars into a special place. Just a simple ceremony.
“A new hope”. All the Star Wars feels
It would have been cool if the baby were born on May 4th!
My nephew is expecting his first child, a boy. The baby will be named after his dad and be a Jr. and baby’s nickname will be Jr. Well today, he and I were talking about the baby’s name and nickname. I suggested the baby be called “baby boy II” instead of jr and his nickname could be “Deuce”. It was suppose to be a joke but my nephew loved it, told his girlfriend and she loved it also. So now I’ll have a great nephew we will call “Deuce” 😂😂😂
Try being Mexican and having 4 people in your family named Guadalupe. Lupe, Les, Lupita, and Guale. It's fine.
OMG gender roles??? I was an state-certified EMT in the Alaska bush years ago and experienced first-hand both genders interfering with triage and emergency care. I am female! Granted most men with control/hero issues tried to shove me aside while women either had a death gripe on their child or screamed demands or questions before I could assess the injured. Solution: Enlist the biggest person in the crowd to clear my way or remove the disrupter! Invariably, they hung around shouting over my shoulder --- oblivious, attention seekers!
The boat story fiancé is a total drama queen.
And this is coming from a woman who was in a very similar circumstance on a boat with my soon to be husband as well as two other men.
A huge lightning storm rolling in over our boat. In a panic our anchor chain wrapped around our outboard motor prop and we couldn't get it untangled.
I dove into the churning water with a dive knife on my chest and nearly drowned cutting the rope loose that was tied to the anchor chain. And still had to dive under the boat again to unwrap the rope from the prop we eventually learned broke.
Which ment we where taking on water.
I broke my foot helping get the boat to shore and not once was I screaming and crying we where going to die.
Story 1: 100% NTA. It's OPs money, she can do whatever she wants with it. Her sister putting all these down-payments on vendors & services expecting OP to pay...LMFAO! It's going to be a real wake up call when OP goes home after the wedding & sister is stuck with the bill. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Story one: so she wants a 55,000 wedding? Possibly more, Outrageous.
Especially since she can't actually afford a 55,000 wedding. She wants to splurge on everyone else's dime.
Jamie is so insecure & shallow...proves it with many of her actions...she deserves nothing in return for hurting others
Boat story: I can see how someone might’ve misinterpreted the whole “the men were saving the day” thing. However, I assumed it was the guys since OP gave off the vibe he and his buddies were much more experienced. To quote my father “Sometimes the best thing you can do to help is stay out of the way.” And in an emergency dangerous situation like that I wholly agree.
Now to address the real issue, OP’s fiancé. First of all while I understand it was a stressful situation and whatnot running around screaming is literally going to accomplish nothing, except stress out more people and get in the way. Second of all, screaming at your fiancé, who’s trying to prevent y’all from dying, “ITS YOUR FAULT IM GONNA DIE” is quite literally the worst possible thing you can do at the moment. Finally to use what the one comment said bout it being traumatic. Yes absolutely it’s traumatic, but he’s also dealing with that. Not to mention the additional trauma of the woman you love basically saying you’re the reason she’s gonna die
Boat story: I broke up with someone who acted like this. We went hiking they thought we were lost and they started panicking and yelling. Once we got back I broke up with them. :/ really annoying
Boat story - If she acts like that now what's she gonna be like as a wife?
Ahh yes! Telling what happened is misogynistic... 😆 🤣 😂
I completely agree with you not giving your kids a "hand-out". Your money is YOURS! YOU worked all those hours for all that money that you were smart enough to save so you could retire early. Your kids have absolutely "NO RIGHTS" to your money. They sure think they do though, don't they?
Right. An inheritance is a gift, not an obligation.
Right? You live once, why on earth should you be expected to keep working to give your then adult kids a huge handout. My parents are nearing retirement age and I would so much rather them spend every penny they have on making their last years the best they can, rather than get mad and be like “you have to keep working and not take vacations so you can save your money for me!”… What a sickening attitude to have.
Yeah people's entitlement and greed is something nowadays. I mean, only strange thing is that he's only pay half their education. Seems like they could afford whole education ans still be able to retire.
But needing to discuss their finances and use of their money? Nope. It's none of kids business. Sure they can tell not to expect inheritance some point but how ans where parents use their earned money isn't a discussion.
My parents have told overview of their will: my bro gets their forests, my sis gets their new house in good area and I get nothing (i took loan and bought their old familyhome, a farm. So me paying loan for 20 yrs is my share. Its fine tho)
@Jamestown I'd argue inheritance is partial compensation for losing a family member. And if you're relying on getting an inheritance to get by, you're doing something wrong.
I've been contemplating the "inheritance" concept from the view of "our money, they're not entitled to it ".
I think that depends upon the situation in which the kids were raised.
Was there always at least one parent present with them? Did at least one parent always attend all of the kids events and activities? Did each child receive consistent 1:1 relationship and bonding time with each parent throughout their childhood? Were their parents present for birthdays and holidays and made them special for them individually? ... OR were the parents working for the money and somebody, or nobody, else participated with the children's lives? Parents are valuable to children; they're god actually. So if the parents were all about the money, then the money IS the representation the parents have provided of themselves to their children at the children's own EXPENSE, which means the. Kids are absolutely entitled to equal portion of that money because their childhood and youth was sold for it and without it they remain uncompensated for their stolen childhoods.
Just one person's perspective.
I dont care If I can afford it, it's my hard earned money. Can't afford it don't buy it.
i remember being out on a boat fishing with my dad when a storm rolled in. we dashed for the dock but the bottom dropped out and it was pouring so hard we could barely see the water. lots of lightning, thunder and even a little hail. we made it back fine, no panicking, and personally its one of the funniest memories i have of fishing.
I know enough to bucket water out of the boat, that's what the girlfriends should have been doing
Children aren't entitled to any Inheritance. You give them the Opportunity to make something of themselves and leave them to it. It's OK to help here and there when needed but not obligated to support them for life.
"we aren't rich, we only make about $300k per year." uh, you're in the top 5% of earners in the world, you are, by definition, rich.
The parents wanting to retire and use up all their money story kinda upsets me. They deserve to use the money they earned on themselves while it is nice for them to even pay for half of their kid's schooling as most parents don't pay for college. So they care but also they could have told them earlier.
Right? From the sounds of it, these kids grew up well. Heck, the parents are still planning to contribute to their college costs. How do they owe them more than that? And why shouldn't OP and her husband manage their own money, money they earned, as they see fit?
Why should they tell them? The kids aren't entitled to a big inheritance. There is nothing to discuss. You get what you get once they die. I think, it's the other way around. It is really bad behavior from the kids, since they essentially say "work your ass off and die soon, so I have all the money as early as possible". They should be thankful for the life they had so far. It's way worse for a lot of other people.
@@Shimonotokithat's exactly what i was thinking. I mean even Donald Trump doesn't give his kids hand outs.
Inheritance is a gift, not an entitlement. The kids didn't work for that money, they didn't earn it, so they're not entitled to receive it.
I think the issue is the expectations more than anything. They probably live in an area where their peers have college 100% paid for. I know a doctor with 2 kids who went to the college 15 minutes from his office. He decided a good use of money was to buy them a condo. If that's what the kids are surrounded by, it's reasonable to expect a leg up from their parents.
This reminds of the story of the guy who booted his kid out at 18 to figure things out and then called her a failure. All of his friend's kid's graduated college debt free (parents paid for it), were buying nice houses at like 24 (with help from parents) and going on nice vacations (some of them with family). Meanwhile, his kid had to take out loans and was still living with a bunch of roommates, living paycheck to paycheck. I wonder if op will be like this guy, complaining that his kids are struggling so hard, unlike their peers in the neighborhood.
Historia 3: NTA la reacción de la esposa 💀 si ella se hubiera quejado en el carro después, sería una cosa. Pero gritar "Todos vamos a morir" haría entrar en pánico a todos y en efecto empeorar la situación.
My dress shoes wedding and hotel etc cost maybe 3grand ( Eloped)..The stress of wedding planning and trying to make everyone else happy was obnoxious and the thought of all the attention made me feel sick...Nothing wrong with doing it the way you want.
The retirement story parents better hope they don’t run out of money or get sick and have to use that money. He better not expect the kids to take care of them
Story # 2 - I don’t know why they sat the sister down and discussed things with her.
1st Story: Hahahah NTA!! Nobody told her to put the deposits down except for the voices in her head lmao. The entitlement is insane. Tell your sister you know of a lovely and personal venue that will fit her new budget, your parents backyard. ;)
Inheritance story. After that reaction I’d give the kids a dollar and what’s left to charity or anyone else.
Commenters were so off too
Agree but perhaps see if the youngest feel the same as Op 2 oldest and if he is as greedy as them then cut all of them off
Third story: She has the survival instincts of a panda raised in captivity.. Now that's a great metaphor 😂😂😂
But if she's freaking out because of danger, that's not a very accurate metaphor, though
Inheritance is a good way to cause chaos, just not interested in the mess that stuff causes.
Bro?
What is wrong with people on history 4?
No one is entitled to college money and op clearly stated that they are going to pay HALF of whatever tuition their children choose, how they are leaving their children on huge debts?
They deserve the money they worked for,if the kids don't want to have student debt just work through college,op already and wife are already paying half and it's not like they promised full payed college.
I don't like people whose solution to danger is to just scream, children usually get a pass on this they're kids. I don't have a problem with screaming when in danger, I don't have a problem with screaming and running away, I don't have a problem with screaming if there is no solution and all you can do is panic. I have a problem with screaming when there is a solution and instead of helping or waiting for the solution to occur (assuming you're not waiting with a gun to your head or something) all you can do is be useless. Literally some people stare directly at their problem and scream at it until it's gone. Be smart, think of solutions.
If your boat is sinking at least pray to god.
She wants an big wedding which she knew she could not afford so no give jer one thousand and tell jer that to go towards wedding but sje will not get anymore.
Last one: I could imagine the older daughter and husband kicking the other daughter out and telling her to sleep with the parents because they want to be alone.
#1 op's gift should be not going to sister's wedding, problem solved, plan to travel that week ...
NTA sister is reaping what she sowed.
Story #1: NTA!! DON'T YOU GIVE HER ONE THIN DIME!! Why isn't the fiance's family helping? Just tell her that you represent The Tough Titty Committee and give her a big whopping dose of "HELL NO"!!
Story 1:Your sister is absolutely the AH. Tell her to kick rocks the audacity of her. She's living outside her means and can't afford her wedding. Ridiculous
She thought she was going to die because it was raining really hard? She's a "drama queen" and if I were you I'd get out. Who wants to deal with an adult "toddler"??
Story 1: "But now, she has no way of paying the vendors."
Not, not "but now". She NEVER had a way of paying them. She never had the money. OP refusing doesn't change that at all. "Could" is far from "would". This is why you shouldn't insult people close to you, you never know when you might need them later. And especially don't insult them for being smart, when you... are not so smart.
Name story: I'm a bit too nerdy, the whole time I was thinking "I'd nickname the kid Star Wars" since the original Star Wars movie is A New Hope.
Last story. Be funny if the boyfriend pays for his own room too, after hearing about the rooming situation. Then what is OP going to do about it? I'm going to guess the 23 yr old is getting her own room, if she still goes.
She panicked. Lots of people panic in unfamiliar situations.
Not panicking in life or death situations takes practice.
Your parents don't owe you anything once you're an adult. My mother is currently in the Bahamas spending "my inheritance", i.e., HER OWN DAMN MONEY.
And because I love her and want her to have a nice life, I'm overjoyed for her! I've known my entire life she planned to travel her money away. All I'll be getting is a small, run-down house she lets me stay at and even that is exceedingly generous, imo. If she kept working just to fund an inheritance for her children, that would be a tragic waste of her life.
I have to assume all these greedy kids absolutely hate their parents if they don't care about bleeding them dry.
Inheritance - who cares, spend what you want and you have no obligation to tell anyone about how you spend your money or whether anyone will get Inheritance.
You may not want to marry this woman. Her panic during the event could have caused worse things to happen.
Would she yell “FIRE!” In a crowded theater?
Yeah, it sounds like she would.
Plus she’ll cause any children you’ll have to have the same reactions. Or her reactions will so traumatize them that they’ll need DECADES of therapy.