Mother Kicks Out Her Little Daughter & CPS Gets Involved & Takes Her Away But Why They Never Took...
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- Mother has an argument with her daughter and kicks her out from their house and starts the divorce with daughter's dad.Cps gets involved and take the daughter away but mom's sister steps up and adopts the poor girl. However why nobody took away the other kids...
#familydrama #daughterstory #listenablestory
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I would INSTANTLY leave someone if they called me writing "cringy" no matter what it was.
@@holographicwing yeah, but are they good?
Apparently OP hasn't heard of "50 Shades of Gray" which was straight up fan-fiction. What all sensible writing coaches, creative writing class instructors and published writers tell every aspiring writer is to practice, practice, practice. This is why she's writing fan fiction, or perhaps she participates in something called "The National Novel Writing in November", which is a contest that takes place in November that challenges you to write a 50k word novel in 30 days.
Shoot, I blog to practice my writing (going on 16 years) and my writing has improved over those 16 years. Writing fan fiction is an excellent way to hone your craft and actually build a following if you happen to post it on a reputable writing site.
@@crazeeaz there are some really, REALLY good fanfics that would make really good books.
I know several professional writers that use fan fiction for practice first and often still do it for fun
I've written fan-fiction and even got paid for it. I don't feel the least bit ashamed about my writing and gave the book in which my story appeared to my mother, who didn't really appreciate it because she was completely unfamiliar with the original work.
The fanfiction story: I know three professional authors who got their start writing fanfiction. I write fanfiction myself and I love reading and writing it. I would never have anyone in my life who couldn't respect that.
Hell, Mercedes Lackey started with fan fiction.
I don't remember who it was, but I read a famous author who (decades ago) advised aspiring writers to practice writing by writing pornography. I really think practicing with fan fiction is better.
And the way he made fun of her was th worst part. Even if she wrote full on cringe level she’s not harming anyone to being sneaky, this is why she never told him about it: probably knew he’d act like that. Let people have their hobbies, once she’s mastered fanfic she’ll move on to more serious stuff, it’s good practice
I like reading fanfiction, it's really no different from writing fiction just about a specific subject.
Technically there are lots of publications of fanfictions. I would read books about by favorite shows or games growing up.
To be honest i don't read fan-fic much ,but some of the few times i have i kinda wished it was the original instead it was so good. Sometimes fan-fic can be even better then the source. Art painting/drawing, dance,cooking/baking, and writing is never 100% original. Pretty much all art is inspired by or reference other art/creation. There is are some sayings that goes "There is no original ideas anymore" or "Nothing new under the sun".
They should be understanding to his wife? The wife who kicked her 10 year old daughter out and destroyed her stuff because she was upset about a divorce.
Agreed, 10 years old. It's not like she was a wild 19-year-old bringing drugs into the house.
Can we talk about their child who is 4 when her divorce happened 4 years ago ? Mommy is a cheater who took her hatred on her oldest child.
I was reading this in morning her mom is ta and op is the homewreker, I think op wife should gone to jail.
The mom has ruined her relationship with her daughter and op can't be happier about it. Judging by how he talks about the kid. Kids don't repeatedly runaway every chance they get for no reason.
And the restraining order what did the wife do when she went to Ava's school that warranted the order is one of my biggest questions.
Fanfiction hobby story YTA. And I love how OP when realising he's dating someone smarter than him. Tried to nurse his ego by introducing her to his family and immediately making a "joke" to make sure they knew that "she's not better than me".......
Dude, blew that one MASSIVELY!!
Story 1: She is a bad mom and she did abandon her daughter... but it sounds like that was best for them both, and anyone pushing her to fix things should be talking to Eva, who DOES NOT want to fix things.
don't know how she can fix the bridge she nuked from space. destroying a comfort item and then throwing a tween out of the house. how the heck did a judge sign a restraining order between a mom and daughter, much less how did the aunt get full custody, unless the mom is an utter monster to her own child? and having a preschool-age kid with OP when the divorce was only 4 years ago...too bad the dad noped out of saving his kids from his ex and the aunt had to step up.
@@FearMyLadyBits Assuming any of them were Ex's kids in the first place, given Wifey's penchant for stepping out.
Little sister stealing makeup story: I wouldn't get her anything for her birthday just re-gift her the makeup that she destroyed.
why not report her to the cops?
=ask nicely to have an officer come by; demand to tell him why she did that and give her a quick rundown what happens is she does shit like that when she is older.
😁
@@sx5r that would be on the parents and not Op. I have a feeling if OP went to the cops about it they would tell her to get over it.
@@sx5r because the amount $200 isn't enough to report
Small claims but given that the sister is underage not sure if OP can even do that it would still come from the parent's pocket
Which OP doesn't want because she wants to have her sister pay out of her own fun money
Which I think is fair given that not only did she steal over $200 worth of make up she destroyed it and then lied to OP’s face
She should have to give up her money
If she is ever gonna learn how to take responsibility for her actions
It's not OP's place to parent someone else's child, but she is right about one thing. If little sis doesn't face some major punishment she isn't going to learn that actions do have consequences. If I was the parent I would pay OP back and cancel the bday party. If little sis cried I would tell her that she already chose to have a private makeup party and the money that would have been spent on her bday party just went to replace the makeup she used.
So. As a fic writer. If a partner treated my passion like that OP...they'd be an ex-partner. I'd drop them like a rotten potato. And there are so many fanfics out there, that are BETTER than official published works. Dude knows nothing.
As a fellow reader since 13 yrs, yes even some of them actually published their books. It's a good way to also get an audience
He is awful he not only insult her but also humiliated her, i would leaved right there and then.
Lots of "legitimate" media is fanfiction, sometimes not even hiding it. Whether it's changed just enough to avoid a lawsuit (e.g. 50 Shades of Gray), a "modern adaptation" of an old work (e.g. Clueless or 10 Things I Hate About You), or reinterpretations of works (e.g. Wicked), plenty of "fanfiction" has been critically acclaimed.
I'm a retired fiction writing teacher and novelist. Fanfic is a good way to get feedback on your writing.
This.
@@Nukie144 i like to read about my ships lol but Jesus sometimes the writers really do a crazy good job i remember once being scared after a sasunaru fanfic, it was Halloween so the writer took it personal hahaha i was like 16
There is NOTHING WRONG with writing FANFICTION. OP completely dumped on her accomplishments and then mocked her hobbies.
I'm glad they aren't married yet and that OP showed the RED FLAGS before she married this AH.
Mocked her to his family who she was meeting for the first time. Nice. /s
They'd been dating "a few months." And.... scene.
Not married nor lived together. And unbeknownst to OP, not dating anymore. I bet he’s too dense to realize that his great girl knows her worth and moved on
Heck I love reading fanfic
There are such good fanfics out there too??? Like literally every piece if fanfic is an individual's interpretation of a character and that is so cool. I love character studies and characters I love being put in new worlds and situations, because it challenges what you believe about that character. End of tangent but tldr if you shit on fanfic you lead a very sad life
Story 1. She hurt her 10 year old so bad they took her away 4 years ago. Her kid with op is 4. He knew everything as she was pregnant or just gave birth to his kid as he calls her. He knew and played a role but wants to act innocent.
Or, the 10yr. hurt her so bad she kicked her out of the house. It can read in either direction. In any case, daughter couldn't make it more clear that she is forever done, and softly sypathetic murmurings are not going to help the mother going forward. It's done. Walk away and don't look back.
Also her divorce happened 4 years ago. Op doesn't want to say that he is an affair partner who destroyed a kid's life
@@lamwen03 I’m sorry, I’m not sure what your trying to say. What do you mean by “or the 10 year hurt her so bad she kicked her out”
@@kewldudeab6554 children can be so violent towards their parents an other siblingss and so destructive that CPS will actually remove the child and put them into foster care. So that the comment is saying that there is a chance the kid was so out of hand they had no choice but to take the kid out of the house
@@ghostdragon5735 mom was sent to anger management and parenting classes and has a protective order on her where she can't go near her daughter, so no its pretty clear mom was the problem not the 4th grader lol
Story 3: NTA. I wouldn’t push for it too hard, but imagine how many Birthdays she’ll miss once she becomes a criminal and is in jail.
@@michaelplunkett8059 You responded the wrong comment
@Tasia Cooper; You're Absolutely correct. OP'S SISTER Needs to LEARN About action /consequences. She SHOULD HAVE HER MONEY Taken Away to Repay Op for damaged makeup.
Please take her money since that has to last the whole year.
Go & purchase a heavy-ish safe or something that can’t be easily moved & lock everything you value in it & keep it in your room. Get a lock for your door, don’t give your parents a key. Also purchase one of those inexpensive wedge deals to slip under the door when you’re in your room.
Reddit is so big on the punishment fitting the crime, but how do no electronics, extra chores, and mommy footing the financial bill for the destroyed items fit the crime? She might decide that that punishment is worth it the next time she wants to take her sister's things.
Or since OP pays rent, she can move out instead
Am I evil for laughing at the juxtaposition of the last two comments on the stolen make up story?
“It could be a sign of something wrong if she’s stealing. Depression, bullying, OCD.”
“Actually, it’s TikTok.”
😂😂😂
It’s Tiktok 🤣 it’s not malicious, she needs her own stuff to destroy to keep her out of your Dior foundation
Story 1: I immediately saw the overlapping with time frames. Poor girl, her dad is a coward and her mom a skank. Thankfully her aunt got her back🙏🫶
Thing is, the dad could probably only stay because he was married to teen's mom.
And the momster probably didn't want to send her children in another country.
So the teen lost all her direct family because of those two assholes.
Even with the months, there is still a big gap. But no it must be cheating, off of what?
@@k70freeman Because there is no gap, OP'S wife and her ex divorced 4 years ago, OP and his wife's old child together is 4. Add on the 9 months for pregnancy equals op was an affair partner and the eldest found out about it
@@jennix8666true, but people also have gaps between breakups and decree absolutes being issued. You don't just divorce the day after the relationship ends. Problem is an overlap was discovered and now commenters are just making up what Ava "discovered" about the "affair"
@@philwill0123 Reguardless of if she discovered it or not, which is most likely she did, the point is there was an overlap. Probably a big one because they were most likely together a bit before she got pregnant
In story 1- in an update it was implied (but not directly confirmed, also not denied in the comments) that this "comfort object" the mother destroyed was actually the daughter's pet who the mother killed as a "punishment" to Ava. Just thought this should be known to everyone seeing this!
Story 4: YTA, you insulted you GF, you insulted her hobby, do you even like your GF. Alot of amateur writers write fanfiction for practice. It helps with the learning process to help them learn how to build stories, while not having to build up characters. That is the next step and she doesn't feel ready to do that.
My brother and father have the same name. My brother was able to steal over $200,000 from my Dad. Don't do it!
Loved the fanfic story, OP says how he's amazed she's dating him near the start, yeah anyone hearing the story is amazed about that bud, luckily it sounds like she's realized she can do better.
I have a friend who works in social security. The amount of 70 yr old Jr's is staggering. It costs a pretty penny to change it and it's a head ache. Its the same as changing your legal name
Jr means that they were named after their dad but are not their fathers. If you're on this channel, you should understand that without Jr or the II, it's easy for one of them to steal from the other.
Also what's wrong with being a 70 year old Jr? I know many men who were proud to have that honor. My son hates it though😂 I think he's going to change his name at 18. He wants a middle name and he wants my last name. I will not fight him on it. I wanted him to be the II his dad did too until I said that I would give him a middle name.
There is a lot in that first story. Not only from the wife but the fact that her family are not shaming her for cheating but for not continuing to harass her daughter who has a restraining order against her. Makes me wander what they are saying to her sister. I hope the aunt doesn't have Eva around them either. The whole family seems disgusting.
Maybe she didn't cheat? People can and usually do legally separate before a divorce. The average divorce takes at least 6 months. If you're just married due to a piece of paper, is it really cheating? Especially when youre in the process of divorcing?
@@ButtonsCasey This is a case of that true why didn't OP say that in the first place. OP had to know how the math looked and a "we got together after they separated" while would have gotten questioned (while I disagree some people still consider that cheating ) would have avoid the accusation.
OP did not dot that. That's on OP.
@@ButtonsCasey I used to work with someone as a teenager who went on to become one of my younger sister’s best friends. Her first husband cheated on her and became seriously emotionally and psychologically abusive towards her and dragged their separation and divorce out for as long as he possibly could - in the UK if you live apart for 5 years a divorce will be granted if one party is refusing to cooperate, a “normal divorce” will take about 6months or a little more for the Final Order to be received. He held out for just short of 4yrs before he picked up a gf who was barely legal and decided to “get rid of the old lot”
There’s absolutely no proof in that story that the wife cheated, and how many of these have we read where the kids have either sided with the cheating spouse and blamed the remaining parent for them cheating.
Why on earth is the father not around? It says he returned to his home country, but why??!! Why isn’t he involved in his children’s lives? Is the Mother at fault because his residence wasn’t secure and their divorce scuppered it? We know nothing about the bio dad at all. But Reddit sure do love picking their narrative and then beating it to death, and then completely contradicting themselves on the next one with the same circumstances...
@@HulaHula667 listen I wore this comment not for the cheating I could care less about that, I'm just pointing out that the family is encouraging her to harass her daughter who doesn't want anything to do with her. Cheating or not it's irrelevant but I do think someone cheated seeing as, the timeline does line up and yeah I know you can be separated but OP doesn't say how long he was separated only says when they divorced and that she was already pregnant with his kid so I'm not jumping to conclusions, technically you are by assuming they were separated for a long time. I'm staying the facts OP gave us.
As for the daughters dad, OP doesn't say anything really so maybe he was a one night stand, maybe he wasn't really the father, who knows, we can only speculate on the father and since I don't like speculations, I'm gonna go with facts. And facts are, OPs daughter hates her, OP had a baby with a man who was still legally married and her family is encouraging her to harass her daughter and sister by herassing her saying she abandoned the child that ran away from her.
Honestly if OP isn't a god person I could see why and I just hope that her family isn't also harassing the sister for seeming to be the only good person in this child's life
@@demonheart13 Amen, that was my issue. No one gave him judgement on his actual question. Did they cheat? Who cares because that’s not relevant (at least right now) as to why she and her daughter had a fight.
1st story: this man does not know the real story of what's going on when your child walks away and turn their back on you like that there is something else going on and he is not seeing it because he's married to the witch.
Op and the egg donor's child is 4. Her divorce happened 4 years ago. I think we all know what happened. Daughter didn't want to accept the man who helped the egg donor destroyed her life and make lose her dad.
I am pretty sure the dad didn't have any choice to leave the country since he could only stay because he was married to daughter's egg donor
Makeup/slime story...Parents are TA. Grounding in this situation will teach her nothing.
I gave my kids 2 lessons, first if you make a mistake then you do 3 things.
Admit it
Appologize
Fix it
Second lesson, we treat people how we want to he treated. If you steal from someone than you are telling the world you have no problems if someone steals from you. If you hit someone than you have no problem being hit...etc.
In this case, I would give OP permission to choose something of equal value from her sister's room that I will hold onto until she either pays her sister back or make things whole via chore or something.
My children always had options to earn money or trade chores.
I dunno, a traditional spanking also seems fitting.
Ph.D. Story - OP YTA - You should've start your story with..."I used to date a woman with a Ph.D. but the day introduced her to my family I showed her who I really I'm and I never heard from her again, was I really the AH?". LMAO. OP you are such an AH!
Fanfiction is a deeply personal passion I've had for almost 15 years and I've become an excellent writer because of that practice. I keep it private from people I know in real life precisely because of reactions like this. I'd be absolutely crushed to have my hobby belittled like this.
Story 4: you demean her, that she writes fanfiction & think you're not an idiot.
Have you ever written fanfiction? Do you even have that ability? Jealous?
"It was meant to be a joke" no... no it wasn't. It was meant to punish her for a hobby that she didn't even share with anyone that she does in her FREE TIME. Op is such a huge AH I'm surprised they are able to walk though doorways.
Yup, to shame and probably with hopes it would get her to stop
St. 1 - Let me be very clear: You have to be a DISGUSTING parent for CPS to take your child away. My mom was a heroin addict who constantly forgot to feed us. CPS was called multiple times, and nothing happened. I called CPS (and sought an attorney) for my niece, who is being abused at home. Her mom is "homeschooling" her (i.e., not teaching her anything), and she locks her in her bedroom and doesn't allow her to interact with the outside world. CPS refused to take her. The attorney said that, unfortunately, CPS is overloaded, and only the EXTREME cases are addressed. OP is playing innocent, but I already know there was physical violence involved. You don't get sentenced for anger management classes because she "ruined a comfort item." I don't know if OP actually believes this BS or he thinks we are stupid..... either way, I assure you this is NOT the full story. And her mother kicked her child out on the damn streets..... as a CHILD! Ava has gone through hell and back. Honestly, I question OP's parenting as well. Who has more kids with a mother who had her child taken away by CPS? 🤦♀️ The cherry on top was OP telling his wife to "cut her losses." Jeez, OP. You both sound like horrible people and even worse parents. I pray your children escape both of you as soon as they are able. The sad part is.... you don't even see it.
Or a child is removed because THEY are the problem, and provide a threat to the other kids in the house. Notice Ava was removed, not All the kids.
@philwill0123 A woman destroyed a ten year Olds favorite item and told her to gtfo... and the aunt was granted a protective order swiftly and easily against the mom, you can't convince me that the child is the issue here. Even the first husband fled the country.
It's never outright stated in the comments, but implied, that the "comfort item" Wifey destroyed was the girl's PET.
OP better hope she never gets mad at HIM, cause it's gonna be dead babies in the bathtub.
Story 3: be reimbursed by your mother & be relieved of your chores for x amount of time.
I don't think Mary lacked empathy. I think she had too much empathy. She was trying to understand the pain and compared it to what she had experienced. I'm not saying pets and kids are the same. I once made this comparison when my friend's father died. I never had a dad but a father figure in my life also passed away. I told them that I had gone through something similar but I ended it by saying "I can't imagine how much you're hurting. I'm here if you need me." Never ever say "I know how you feel."
Exactly.
I've lost both a son as well as the dog who helped me get through losing my Mom.
Not the same, but both were traumatizing in similar ways.
I agree. Mary was probably just trying to be involved in the conversation and went with the only similar point she had experience with. I don't think she was trying to upstage or say that the dog is more important than the kid. I think she was trying to say "I empathize with your fear that someone/something that relies fully on you has their life in the balance and I feel with you." Genuinely I think Mary was trying to be nice, just went about it the wrong way.
I would vote NAH. Mary was trying to be kind and empathetic and failed miserably, and OP was just trying to stop the pain Mary was accidentally inflicting on the ain't and uncle. Botched communication do not a-holes make.
No op is the asshole. I would pick my dog over any person I have ever met . People are trash.
What part of telling someone that you understand what it feels like to lose a child because my dog died is empathy. It’s sound more like she was trying to make it about her and her behavior afterwards also doesn’t put her in the best light.
@@Mr3067801 losing a child no losing a loved one yes.
Make up story.: This is the second story I heard of some kids destroying a family member’s makeup. Is this a tik tok trend? Something must be done.
I don’t think it’s a trend, per say. I watch a lot of slime videos and most slime creators mix makeup into slime because it gets views. She’s only 10 and wanted to try it out, but was probably too afraid to ask and then didn’t want to confess out of fear of getting in trouble. Yes, actions have consequences, but punishing the child won’t make her stop taking things, but she’ll just try harder to not get caught. What would be better is giving her an appropriate consequence and have a discussion about being open and honest. That if she took the makeup for slime, just ask next time so they could get cheaper makeup to use. Kids learn by example, so teach her how to communicate more effectively.
I'm more concerned about a10yr old being caught red-handed and bald-faced lying about it. that's some sociopathic behavior right there, and she obviously needs WAY more supervision than she's getting, because I doubt that's her least transgression. also where'd she get the slime from?
@@FearMyLadyBits are you serious. Kids lie all the time. That’s not sociopathic behavior.
@@yourmom2189 right lol. A kid lying 😱 omg get them checked rn.
I write fanfiction. A lot of it and I love it. It was an escape in school when I was a teenager and I'm nearly 30 now and still do it frequently. It's never been more than a hobby. I've never wanted to publish books or anything. But I remember clear as day when I was about 16, I was writing a bit at the kitchen table at supper time and my father said "You have to be very good to make it as a writer."
Like as I said I never had any intentions of being a professional writer, but for him to be so dismissive fuckin hurt.
With the last story I don't understand why everyone is mad. I think she was trying empathize with them by bringing a semi relatable experience. I know people on the autism spectrum like my self do this to let people know we relate to them and empathize. But neurotypical people always think you are trying to one up then when that's not the case at all.
Yeah, I have ADD and have been told I may have traits on the spectrum, too. This is something I do, too. I'm not trying to "one up" or anything like that. It sucks that neurotypical people don't understand us.
I mean I would help any animal in the word before op, value wise the animal has some, op on the other hand is worthless.
Mary wasn't comparing the dog to the child, she was saying she understand loving someone or something deeply.
Agreed. To me, it sounded like she was just trying to empathize with situation the best way she could.
A dog is NOT a child. You can absolutely treat your dog like a child. You can also love your dog like family. But a dog is NOTTTT an actual human. I've grown up with animals my entire life. I had 5 dogs, chickens, rooster, turtles, snake.... I basically lived on a farm. My mom works at an animal shelter and has her "babies" at home. My mom and I both agree that losing an animal is NOTHING like losing someone you love. Don't get me wrong, you do feel pain when your pet is gone. But the person who lost their child.... that is a pain that only a few can even fathom.
I don't know why anyone would have more children with a woman like that. I'm sorry but she deserves everything she got.
It's because he's happy the child who disagrees with their affair is out
I LOVE DOGS!! I've had them my whole life (F,39) but I would NEVER EVER compare the loss of one of my beloved dogs to the potential loss of someone's child!! Seriously, that's an absolutely cruel thing to do!!
Jr story. My brother had the same exact name as my dad and they banked at the same place. My brother was in better financially and the bank constantly mixed up. It was brutal.
Right, there has to be some way to distinguish this. That's where the issues come into play when Mother's name their daughters after themselves with the full name. Women don't get a designation at the end. I've known two women who robbed their parents blind because they had the same first middle and last name as their moms.
Nah hand over that money IMMEDIATELY... 200 dollars of makeup she can pay it back
Comparing your dog to a human child is extremely insensitive. Mary needed to be told this. Nobody was invalidating her feelings for her dog but she needs to understand that it is not tactful to compare her dog to a human child.
She wasn't comparing her dog to a child, she was empathizing with the couple telling them she was there to listen to their grief because she was grieving herself and knew what it was like to a lot of people pets are their children,
I've lost my Adolescent pet and my father, I miss my doggo more than dad. I still have a monthly mini memorial for her and never for dad. When I first thought about this is was thinking (I've never lost a close relative to compare, I didn't even remember dad until I started reading someone discuss their parents).
And no, we were not astranged, we lived in the same house and spoke constantly.
Yea, you CAN’t compare a dog w/ a person….
Because dogs are A MILLION TIMES better , more loyal & more empathetic than people.
Dogs are a MUCH BETTER choice.
Story 1, I'm not sure if there was cheating. Cause the fight happened four years ago, around the birth of ops eldest which is described as "prettying soon after the divorce" but that doesn't mean anything cause first I've seen people describe two years after the divorce as "pretty soon after", second most people begin to measure when the divorce happened by the end not the beginning and as someone who experienced their parents three year divorce.... And third separation exists.
Fanfic Story: You are right OP, i am also surprised tha this woman wanted to date you.
Mary was trying to empathize but in a not so good way. Some times that's how people try to related to others.
She's right in one way tho, you don't get to tell her how she feels about someone she loves. This isn't the equivalent of choosing a dog over a person, this is someone trying to empathize with another going though a hard time.
This i came here to say the same thing
yeah she was just trying to say she understands not handling a life at risk well, shes 25 and theres no mention of having actual kids, shes literally just going for the closest thing she can compare it to
So I'm curious...when a child (or a minor) does anything wrong, instead of disciplining them with creative punishments that will make them see what they did was wrong and will never do that again (I personally think giving her sister her birthday money was totally appropriate - she would think twice about stealing or using other people's things - you know something she should probably learn before she lives in a dorm), the answer is now THERAPY! THERAPY! THERAPY!! It's always about finding out if something else is going on, blah blah blah. Fine. You can talk to your kid and find out but first you have to discipline them. Was AITA and other subReddits started by therapists trying to drum up business? Do people know how expensive therapy can get? Do they know about some of the long wait lists out there for good therapists? I'm just curious about the people who always answer with 'get therapy because there's an underlying problem,' who are so far removed from RL yet holed up in their tiny bedroom living their entire life through the internet.
I'm a Boomer, and the Jr., Senior, or number was very common back in ancient times. It never failed that Juniors, and numbers always committed some crime or embarrassment so the Senior was totally humiliated. That's why I would never suggest it.
RE: child n dog story...
Lot of people decide not to have kids and invest that energy and love into their pets. The comparison made was NOT to one up it was to empathize. It was just taken as a one up because someone with kids can't fathom someone bonding with an animal that deeply, precisely BECAUSE they have the kid(s). The person who has bonded that strongly with the pet hasn't experienced the deeper bond I, as a child free individual, couldn't fathom because I do NOT have a parental bond with anything BUT my pets. Losing a pet is one of the deepest pains I've ever felt. I've been unable to function after their loss before. It's still heartbreaking to think of it. I'm starting to tear up just writing this.
People need to realize that when usually when someone attempts to empathize via their experience with a pet that is the CLOSEST thing they can offer to compare and offer empathy with. It's not one upping, attention seeking, or attention diversion. It's "This is the situation I was in, this is how it made me feel, I'm telling you so you know that you have someone to talk to about it that can understand how you feel."
A normal person would let that whole idea stay in their head. They KNOW it's not even close to the same thing and they don't pretend it is in front of terrified parents.
Grief is grief, but parents NEVER get over the death of a child. Mary was not being empathetic. She was self-serving.
It never helps to tell someone “I know how you feel” even when you’ve been through a similar situation. I lost an unborn child after three months gestation. I have also lost beloved pets. Neither would entitle me to tell a parent I know what it feels like to be worried about a very sick child.
Story 2: I get those people, my family has a lot of people with the same initials and last name which makes stuff like emails and scientific article citations (several of us are researchers) very difficult. Moreover, we have a lot of Jrs in the family and none of them have the actual word “junior” in their name. I’ve also met a guy NAMED “Junior” who is not in fact a jnr, apparently his dad had a twisted sense of humor
Story 3: this kid needs mental health, such a blatant lie is so … weird and disconnected
Story 4: you have any idea how many movies and shows are technically fanfiction? It's not childish, it's a regular thing plenty of people like. It's a fun hobby just because you don't get doesn't mean she childish. It's her fun hobby and I helped her get sal whatever she need through character she already loves. And it's not even that you don't like it, you insulted her intelligence in front of your family because you don't get it and try to pass off as a joke, you pretty much invalidated all of her academic success. Don't bother apologizing because this relationship is over.
Even being as charitable as possible to the mom in story 1, this is a fantastic case of the best thing you can do for your "relationship" is to respect their wishes to not see you. If you love them, respect them. Yeah, it might hurt, it might suck, but you've done the damage. If you have some way of communicating, the only thing you should communicate your regret and intentions to honor their wishes--and not in a conniving manipulating way. And then you deal with the emotional fallout of your own actions yourself.
Story # 1I don't understand why infidelity is speculated when there is no mention of it or evidence.
On the name topic, my uncle named his son after himself. Confusion was avoided by simply calling the kid little bob, and the dad big bob.
Except fast forward a few decades and now little bob is big, and big bob is little. So the names don't fit anymore but it cause more confusion to flip the names.
My dad is the third Robert in a row in my family. As far as I'm aware, no one used Junior/Senior, or any of the numbering. But when my brother was born, my parents agreed that he would not be named Robert. I recommend going with a different name entirely.
The last story, my Dad says that if Mary had said, "Oh my god, I got freaked out over my dog having a problem. I can't imagine how you must feel." She would not have people PO'ed at her.
Youre wrong, Mary shared her feeling on what she felt as worse thing that could happen to her.. Her feelings are valid. That dog feels for her as her child. That others think about dogs as lesser beings than humans does not invalidate her feelings. She did not say it to Hurt him, it was her way to say that she has sympathy for his feelings. You know who use this form often in conversations? People on the spectrum.
@@paulinadeboer3604 don't diagnose ASD over the internet
Unless you've lost a child, the only response that can be is "I can't imagine"
@@matthewschocke4094 i did not i made a point that this is common with people on the spectrum. I did not say she was one. I made a point that this womans feelings are valid even if others don't have the same feeling.
DJ story: OP could have just kept his name for the kid and replace Junior with a different middle name. Like “David Leonard” is OP and his son will be “David James” or something. lol that example name will still be DJ, but the family can call him by his middle name “James” or “Jimmy”. My partner has a son with his first name and a middle name since my partner doesn’t have a middle name. That way, he’s not a junior.
The entire fist story is one whole roller coaster ride sheesh
People value and love things differently. Some people love pets more than others love their own kids. History has shown this to be true on numerous occasions. It is what it is but I don't think you can dismiss or even quantify someone's love or grief just based on how you feel about the subject of their affection.
Final Story: NTA. The best I could have given her this that she was trying to “Relate” with her and not make her feel alone. That being said a well meaning person doesn’t get offended when the ROOM tells her “It’s not the same F ing thing”.
Yes. I am autistic and people on the spectrum often try to relate with people by sharing something they believe to be similar in order for the person to feel understood. I think that’s what Mary was doing, not realizing what she was saying was not how most people view animals. I would choose my pet’s life over a human stranger’s life every day of the week. That doesn’t mean that pets are more important than humans. But I also never would have said it out loud because I also have children and know that loosing a child would be way more heartbreaking than losing a pet (which I have many times). I think Mary just doesn’t understand but she also shouldn’t have insisted on an apology. Mary should have apologized to everyone else for the faux paw (😜) and used the incident as a learning opportunity.
Agreed I've seen people who lost their kids or kids having life-threatening medical issues. They are nearly always devastated and sometimes don't get better. It's not the same thing nor can you compare it to a child. This is coming from an pet lover that feels pets are my babies.
I don’t really understand it myself because from my perspective it’s not trying to one up or compare two things it’s a “Hey I know grieving feels too”
9:34 I have to disagree with this. It's 100% fair to make her use her birthday money to pay OP back. The sister learns nothing if the parents are the one to foot the bill. Yes, she was grounded, but that's hardly a sufficient punishment for what she did. My brother used to steal from us constantly growing up, especially money, and my parents would always say he had to pay us back while also having the rule that birthday or holiday money didn't have to be used to do so. This was literally all the money we ever got year round unless we happened upon money outdoors, but that was next to never, so the only consequence my brother ever really got was being grounded and of course that never stuck for long. So, needless to say, he basically got off scott free while we were left with nothing in a house where we already had very little. The sister SHOULD have to use her birthday money. It's only fair and the best way for her to learn a lesson.
I female am a junior to my mom and I love it. Been called little Stella all my life, still do and I'm 58. And it is not cringe.
Story 3, good thing the little sister didn't live in OP 1's house or she would be homeless.
Second story I am a junior. It’s on the birth certificate. In my experience doesn’t matter if it’s there or not, most paperwork won’t use it or leave it off and if you guys end up at all similar the first 5 minutes of any phone call will be which one Junior or senior? We bank at the same bank (navy federal) and prior to my folks putting in more stringent requirements I once walked out with checks to my dads bank account. Wasn’t on purpose and my moms face when I handed them to her made her realise finally why it wasn’t the greatest idea xD my son will follow our families naming conventions (wife agrees on the name) and so there will be no the third xD though when I tell my mom there will be a third she always panics about yet another person who can freely take there money on accident because of her
Why people always think we’re crazy for loving our dogs? Dogs are our babies. We feed them, care for them, they love us so much they never want to leave our side. That is a child. So what if it has four legs?
“He has to include the name Junior or it doesn’t count”. That’s Not How It Works!!!
Story 2: Both parents should have a say on naming their kids. You also should get the chance to veto names you don’t like. That is what a normal adult relationship should work like.
As for naming after a living or dead relative, I would choose an initial rather than the whole name. My dad wanted me to give my son his name! His name is very dated (We are originally from India) and a mouthful for my son who is American! I said no! My dad gave a lot of variations as alternatives and they were all bad! I said no! I wanted to give my mom and my MIL’s initials, if we had a girl and boy would get my dad’s or DIL’s initials if we had a boy. And that is what we did!
My brother gave my niece my sister’s name as her middle name with his wife’s consent. We lost our sister when she was 17, and he wanted to honor her memory! 🤷♀️
Mary and the dog: No Assholes. She was trying to show the friend that she can relate to the pain of a loved one who might die.
She was showing empathy in the way available to her.
She was NOT saying the dog was the same as a child (though, lol, if I had a choice between a kid and my dog I WOULD choose my dog. I don't care what anyone thinks of that.)
The family friend is a typical parent, reacting as can be expected of a stressed, worried parent.
Mary meant well, but most people don't take well to this particular expression of solidarity.
Though she is kind of dumb to ask for an apology.
I also struggle with this. I try to make connections to people by showing that I have gone through something similar and I hurt for them because I understand. It's not just an empty "oh, really sorry that happened to you."
But I also know that people don't like it and view it as making it a competition or making it about myself.
I have aspergers and it's so hard to express how awful I feel when someone is struggling; I want to help or let them know that I GET IT. I almost always muck it up and upset them.
My father was a Jr, same name as his dad, so both my grandmother and my mom were Mrs same name. Once, when my grandmother had given my mom her credit card to shop for our school clothes, which she did every year, there were 4 of us in school at the time, the sales person pointed out to my mom that she hadn't signed the credit card, so she did, as Mrs same name. it worked just fine.
My dad is a jr. he absolutely hates it because he is always getting his dad’s mail and business put bills on each other’s accounts
about the junior thing... I'll never forget my poor 18 year old brother having to say "this is
Donnie" to my grandma on the phone. Why do people have to have the same name as their parent? Usually it's the mans name. Big ego's?
1) somethings missing in the first story. The two younger children wouldn’t have been able to stay with the mother if CPS gotten involved, all of the children would’ve been taken out.
Is outrageous as it could be there could be a small possibility that the daughter was violent towards the children there for cps got involved and took the kid away .
Second I’m not so sure about Opie being an affair partner divorce is finalized over a long period of time. There’s a possibility that the wife and P. were dating at the time of the finalization of the divorce and they got pregnant.
Something about this story seems made up
This. People went with "Ava discovered"affair" and ran with it.
Instead of, teenagers parents divorced, mom moved on too quickly, dad disappeared off face of the earth, and she is ragefilled.
Story with the silly makeup destroying tween - I get she’s a pain, but she’s about the right age for chores, pocket money, and buying her own drugstore makeup. She needs to learn that Things Cost Money, and to use her own things (esp if she wants to do silly Tiktok memes)
Also nice ‘not like the other girls’ touch with the never wearing makeup unless it’s very expensive indeed.
Story 2: the junior does need to be put on the birth certificate. My brother is a junior and I know a lot of juniors. Believe me when I say the junior is very vital to have on their legal name.
Have you no idea how much kids hate being junior? Give the kid a name of his own not a name borrowed from someone else even if it is his dad.
I love fanfics!!!! Wtf has the boyfriend ever wrote!!!! Home she stays away from his PA butt!!!!!😂
Hate to break it to the op in the 4th story, but 50 Shades of Gray was originally a Twilight fan fiction. And as someone who is trying to get a book published currently, writing fan fiction is great practice for writing your own novel. In many ways, it's far more difficult. I've done it myself.
^^^ This, while neither book were my cup of tea, 50 shades did sell a crap ton of copies to its desired demographic so indeed, fanfiction writers if they execute their writings just right and make something original, can publish and make some decent selling YA books. I feel sorry for OP's girlfriend for having her hobbie dumped on by such an idiot [who sounds like a totally "nice guy" of the r/ variety]
Story 1- I feel like there's a whole lot more details that OP "conveniently left out in story. Something's just not adding up.
Like?
Story 2: YTA, there is another option David the second (or Third if you are already a second). If your fiancee doesn't like DJ as a nickname, noone should be calling him that period. If your fiancee were smart she would be talking to you about picking a new name if you are going to insist on nicknaming him DJ.
Story 1: YTA. Weirdly enough though telling your Wife to stop trying to fix the relationship SHE broke was good advice. Like it or not she DID abandon her child, and it may simply never be repaired. All she can do is get her crap together and take care of the relationships she hasn’t destroyed yet.
Actually YTA for the comment
God the fanfiction story. OP is the cringey one. His girlfriend is crazy smart and passionate enough to write as a regular hobby. Plus her writings don't only make herself happy, but no doubt makes her readers happy too
Wishing the lively lady well. And that OP has someone call *his* hobbies cringe and made fun of in public
OP NTA. It is so cringe when someone tries to compare human live with that of a pet. I totally get that ones pet becomes family and is loved and if anything happens to the pet there is distress and the loss of a pet is hard but comparing a pet to a child isn't ok.
Also it sounded like Mary was trying to make it about her and her pet when the conversation was about a mom and her child. The two things aren't comparable.
I’m one of those people that would easily choose my dog over other people but I’m also smart enough not to compare my dog to a child in conversations or think that me and a mother have comparable experiences. Some people are too dense.
I kinda understand why Mary might have said what she did. It's not comparing the life of a child to a dog, she was likely trying to empathize with unexpected medical costs and the stress that comes with it. Unless she has a history of being one of those over-the-top dog moms, the comment was likely meant to express empathy for their current struggle and Mary just couldn't read the room.
My oldest brother is a Jr and when our dad passed when I was 12, my brother's name status didn't elevate him to Sr. That's just silly. Our dad's Sr. remained even though he's been gone 28 years. My whole life, we've called my brother every variant of his name, my sister until she passed 2yrs ago called him DJ .
And II is usually given if a boy is named after an uncle older cousin, or grandfather, if his dad has a different name than both the person in question and the grandfather. III is used if there's another child with the same name as the previous generations: Grandfather and father. Example: Charles 'Trip' (nickname) Tucker III. The 'Trip' is short for 'Triple' as he was the 3rd Charles Tucker in the family. All Trekkies will know him as the Chief Engineer on Star Trek Enterprise
So...just teach the little sister than mommy will cover for her when she gets in trouble?
Story 1 - Notably missing from the attempts by the wife to fix her relationship with the daughter: Any apology or admission of wrongdoing by the mother. Giving toys and demanding reconciliation doesn't actually involve the wife working to make right the harm done.
Also stalking the child and showing up at their school is just disgusting. If the courts issued a restraining order against a mother you KNOW she fucked up horrifically.
He also admitted in his comments that Rose is an affair baby.
Maybe there was. But doesn't mean daughter wants to accept apology. Wife went totally overboard with the visits to school etc. But this smacks of- if wife attempts to contact, she's pressurising. If she doesn't attempt- she doesn't care.
I'd totally make the sister pay for all that makeup. I don't care that you're a kid with no income, if you're the type of person to steal, lie, and then keep lying when caught I'd make sure you learn fast what consequences are.
Damn OP in story 1, im not even 2 minutes in and am wondering how they married this witch….
For S5
I've lost my Adolescent pet and my father, I miss my doggo more than dad. I still have a monthly mini memorial for her and never for dad. When I first thought about this is was thinking (I've never lost a close relative to compare, I didn't even remember dad until I started reading someone discuss their parents).
And no, we were not astranged, we lived in the same house and spoke constantly.
So what I got from the first story is that op's wife needed anger management because she was, at minimum, verbally abusive toward her oldest. She loses custody of that child and, with a huge push from her family, continues to try and repair that relationship. The oldest child wants nothing to do with her mom, but mom is continually feeling pressure from family to repair the relationship despite what the kid wants. Op suggests respecting the child and he's TA? I also don't think it's unreasonable to say op's wife has 4 kids, I bet her oldest wished mom thought that way.
Is really weird, telling her to leave the daughter alone is the right thing
Agreed, people get so lost in the symptoms they don't recognize the actual problem. She needs to drop the issue and leave the poor girl alone
@@Ashbrash1998 Yeah. Mom obviously needed to sincerely apologize, but continuing to push the issue isn't going to make the daughter forgive her.
Yeah this is one of those situations where she needs to leave for the other alone and maybe within a decade or to reconnect with her daughter to see if they want to try rebuilding our relationship and then afterwards if she doesn't want a relationship with her daughter just cut her losses and move on. In addition I think the original poster may have unknowingly been an affair partner meaning he probably got with her immediately after the divorce is final or they got together while his wife and her ex was still married and he had no idea that she was married until literally after the divorce was final. That's when they discovered that she was pregnant. Either way I don't think he's in the wrong here but he's going to get blamed just for the heck of it
this is a OP is an AH for everything but the the question so people ignore the question when giving judgment situation.
Last story: might get hate for this but ESH, should Mary have compared her dog to a child? no, probably not, but she was trying to empathize in the only way she could assuming she didn't have children already. But OP could have shut her down in a more polite way.
I love my dog more than most people, more than that actually.
Story 2: I don’t understand the issue. I’m a Junior, and I’ve never had any confusion with my name. I love my name. I think people are really blowing this out of proportion.
I feel like this would be a typical reddit reaction to a man wanting to name his child junior, them blowing it out of proportion didn't surprise me at all. Lol. I have a large family with multiple names being passed down. It's not that confusing and I think it's sweet.
Yeah, Reddit dummies being Reddit dummies. This one is an NAH.
I love when people read about a normal bad thing kids do and jump to they’re mentally ill or abused
Story 4: YTA. Hun, writing Fanfics is a normal way to practice writing. I’d encourage her to dump you, she can clearly do better then someone who craps on a perfectly harmless (and yes Dorky) hobby of hers.
Hell, what most people don’t realise is that a huge amount of our most famous writers are famous for writing what amounts to *fanfiction*
Shakespeare, Homer, The Brother’s Grimm, nearly every Disney animated movie pre-Moana - with very few exceptions, Bram Stoker. Anthony Horowitz continues on Ian Flemings legacy of 007 - using characters not his own to create a new story *FANFICTION*.
It should be common knowledge that Cassandra Claire began writing (in my opinion exceptionally bad) Harry Potter fanfic until it was heavily polished into Shadowhunters - I think that was the one, couldn’t care; and EL James’ god awful Twilight fanfic became the god awful, 50 shades promoting bad BDSM practice and normalising domestic abuse for a generation (or 2).
I know of at least 3 more critically acclaimed, successful authors who either started out writing fanfic or still do so now as a palette cleanser, but I don’t have their permission to give their names and I’m probably already risking the evil CC suing me from mentioning her past pre-spelling change.
Yeah someone on that thread told me if I write fanfic to cope with life, maybe I’m not fit to be “among people” and I’m not mentally sound. Um. Excuse me?
For the 'junior' post .. im a junior .. named after my dad. For years I didn't mind being called junior but as I got older and was able to get jobs and people calling me. I changed to my middle name so I wouldn't have to always ask 'do you want senior or junior'.
OP is stupid, but reddit just made up so much stuff in that first one.
My friend was named after his father . In Spain if they have the same name they refer them as "Father" and Son not junior.
Don't bother to apologize to Abby. She couldn't care less about you now.
I'll never understand people bent on name there kids after themselves with juniors and seconds or thirds....like the child already had your family name....that's more than enough.
ok but story one: the question was about telling her to cut her losses, and for that... op is nta. he and his wife suck, which is why they shouldnt try to force themselves on ava. so while it was ajerk way of putting it, framing it only from the wifes mental health and no one elses care, its essentially the same advice id give
Last story. YTA.
Mary was trying to relate to them to be able to help them emotionally, and all y’all went nuts,
There is not a single one of you I wouldn’t throw off a bridge for my dog.
Lol same, i would pick my pets over any stranger and my judgement for that post would depend on how she said it. I don't get op's hate though
OP1: Your wife is... ugh, just repulsive. This is continuing abuse. She needs to respect her daughter's wishes and be an adult. She caused this situation.