Um, yeah, because she's NOT their mom. In their eyes, the deceased woman who gave birth to them and raised them for as long as she could will only be their mom. Any person who convinces their kids to get rid of mementos of their dead parent to make way for a new "family" is despicable.
I don't blame OP for being uncomfortable with Bruno he being a creep and really gross and the fact that OP's wife is acting like noting is wrong is just sad and gross
What exactly are people congratulating people for being gay? This is why so many young people or pretending to be somewhere in the lgbqt category. Because we have idiots like Opie who think that they should congratulate and van over people for claiming they have a different sexual orientation.
Bruno reminds me of a transperson I dealt with in college, she always tried to be intimate with me, even on discord and any apps we were in due to clubs. No one would do anything about it and it got to the point that I was avoiding her but I got slandered as a transphobe, and she be watching over any dating apps i was on
Story 1: f*** him, you and your brother have a right to your own feelings and if he wants his happy family so bad then he just going to have to have it without the two of you in it. It's your turn to be happy and get what you want the difference is you're not foresee your dad to do anything just leaving him, and I recommend you get ready to help your brother do the same because your dad going to guilt-trip the hell out of him now that he knows his brainwashing isn't working.
because most people have a fundamental misunderstanding of therapy at its core and think of it as a magic fix anything button when it comes to thoughts when really its just there to unsort knots in your brain and give you tools to function at as normal a level as possible. parents in particular tend to think they cant be wrong in most of these stories so they send people to therapy with the mindset of "im an adult and i know best so i canr possibly be wrong in this which means the therapist will think the same thing as me and "fox" them. source: i was forced into therapy when i was younger
Because the people who use therapy in this way genuinely cannot separate their own desires from what is actually good and healthy for everyone. They operate on the underlying assumption that what is best for them is best for everyone, and thus there's something wrong with anyone who says/believes otherwise.
Because many parents honestly don't see their children as actual people. To them, their children are extensions of THEM and they hate being reminded that their children are their own people. It's disgusting, but there are a lot of parents who know damn well that if they tried the shit they do to their kids on anyone else, they'd have no friends or relationships to speak of. They just think there shouldn't be any consequences for treating what they essentially view as an accessory like that.
i honestly would just leave a ticking time bomb in dads head, "mom would disgusted with you and what youve done to us and her memory". sure hell deny it and get angry but on quiet nights by himself itll be there in his mind hell be stuck with it and remember it everytime his kids refuse to do something with the steps
If he's moving this other woman and her children in approximately 7 months after their mother's death, I would suspect that the stepmother was an affair partner, with a distinct possibility of her children being the dad's other family.
I was desperately looking for one valid comment here ! Luckily I found it! This wife is sucky.. i've seen this behavior from many gay guys i know, even trying my husband.. for some it is a competition to get a heterosexual man..
Story 3: totally agree with that last comment, your GF already knew the problem she just ignored, and if you don't feel comfortable then you're not a terrible person. I will say talk to him and explain how you feel, find the chance I really is joking around and doesn't understand that you're not comfortable with it. Don't let her lie just because she doesn't understand why you have a problem with it.
As a person with chronic pain and a son with JRA … sometimes the kid needs to fight through the pain especially if they realize their actions made the situation better or they need to be able to ask for help. Nothing is wrong with letting a kid start managing their health.
This. Also it causes a parent stress and pain to see the child in pain. When I hurt myself after I took on more than is safe for me, my wife is mad. We all know those situations. She is mad because she loves me and it hurts her to see me with back pain for a week. Also i cause her work by that. People aren't islands. We owe each other.
The irony of him telling OP that he needed to learn he wasn’t gonna always get what he wanted and then throwing a tantrum and a guilt trip whenever OP refused to give *him* what *he* wanted
#1: "Dad, I'm moving out because of you. You never asked our step-siblings to get rid of reminders of their dad, did you? But me having photos of my dead mom are too much?"
Oh my God that says it all this whole story you as a dad can be summed up with more than one kid lost a parent in that household. It was only your kids with your dead wife that had to get rid of their photos or talk about their dead parents. I say parents because you died too
Tell your mom that you had her as a mom and you understand what she thinks of as a mom and that you're doing it this way. Because kids have to manage their pain when they have an illness. You're the only one that loves her that is close enough to actually be a parent through a process and still have your focus remain on her overall health.
Story 1: So, dad moved AP in 7 months after the wife died, which is why those kids were so keen on the blended family, because they already knew dad quite well, right? I mean, that is a plausible explaination, right? AP wanted her rival erased from memories, like a VC Andrews novel, right?
The dog story, I read it on Reddit. He was so nasty in the comments about his ex... Yes they broke up over this. He couldn't understand why he was getting shit on. Like he purposely egged up the situation knowing she doesn't like dogs who beg.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: abusive parents need to be named and shamed. Let their coworkers and friends know exactly who they are behind closed doors. Bet they'll learn pretty quick when their ahole tendencies can't be rug swept.
Yeah, no, even if kissing your hellos isn't sexual in the home country, which OK, maybe yes maybe no, if Bruno is making OP uncomfortable to the point he's avoiding him and finding excuses to keep him at arm's length, then that's a pretty clear indicator that he at least FEELS sexually harrassed, even if it's not what Bruno intends. OP should consider talking to Bruno, and casually asking him to back off. No accusations, no big deal, I know it's all joking around, ha-ha, Now knock it off. To quote E from The Incredibles: "Confront the problem. Fight! WIN! And do drop by again, dahling, I do enjoy our little talks."
Last story: I am a 70 yo woman. My daughter is 50yo. I may speak to her 3 times a day or not for a week. Glad no one is keeping track. Roommate needs to stay out of it.
My mom is mid forties and my mana(grandma) was almost 70 when she passed. They called and texted every day and hung out multiple times a week. There is nothing wrong with being close to ur parents, and I hate Reddit for making it into something weird
as a queer man myself, i gotta say, bruno is being an absolute creep. i don't understand what possess someone to think that confessing to and flirting with someone who is in a relationship is ok. like, they are obviously taken. leave them alone. they don't want you. they are not an option for you. it's so fucking uncomfortable to have someone to continue to flirt with you even after your feelings towards them have been revealed, and i wish people would stop doing it, regardless of sexuality or gender. go find someone else who likes you back. quit harassing this one person. you are achieving nothing other than breeding bad feelings by being persistent. and op's wife is awful. if her brother in law was doing this to her, im sure she would be pissed if op reacted the same way she's reacting.
Last story: you pretty much already proved your point, her whole argument can be flipped back on her because she had no right to say that to you just because you and your mom like saying goodnight to each other. Plenty of people do that with their parents and doesn't mean there's anything going on. If she didn't want you to say that she shouldn't have said it herself.
People are so worried about being "inclusive" (and not looking phobic) these days that if you are of certain sexual orientations you can literally sexually harass someone, in front of everyone, and get away with it. If it was a heterosexual man making a lesbian sister uncomfortable...would it be seen as "just joking"? It shouldn't matter who is in the situation, if someone feels uncomfortable, they should be listened to...
the story about the daughter with chronic pain. I'm gonna go with NTA, Op warned their daughter not once not twice but at least 4 times that if she kept R-O-U-G-H H-O-U-S-I-N-G with the dog she'll be in pain. My parents were a firm believer in "you reap what you sow." So if I WILLFULLY chose to ignore them on anything, then the consequences are mine alone to bare/bear. So i dont understand why people callin OP the YTA. Op's daughter refused to tell op they were in pain. So Op's daughter reaped what they sow.
I feel the same way. The kid is 13. At that age, she needs to make her own choices about things like this. Should OP have offered her something to ease her pain anyway? Maybe so, but that still doesn't make him an idiot if he's allowing his daughter her own agency.
Op is intentionally using the dog to annoy gf it’s a power thing. My BIL was a “great” dad for the same reason. He completely undermined my sister’s authority with the kids. How bad it was depends on the outcome he wanted..ie mom sends kids to clean their room he tells them to stop and takes them for ice cream.. ect. It just looks like daddy is being sweet to dog/kids but it’s done to instigate a reaction..
Yeah but her hatred for the dog is a bit much. They need to go their separate ways and she needs to be with someone who hates dogs as much as she does.
@@kimsvisualdiary It wasn't my impression that she hated the dog. I love dogs, but untrained, spoiled dogs make me mad and I feel like this was her main issue. Also, she didn't a dog in the first place. If you are forced to interact with an animal, it better behave or you will of couse be even less likely to like or even tolerate it. The OP in this Story was totally clueless. The way he acted with his pet, wasn't just different from his Ex, it was wrong, you can ask every Trainer, every owner of a well behaved dog. With his attitude, he will ruin future relationships, too.
Sorry but if I were him I’d have called a lawyer right then and there to divorce. There are three things wrong: the first is her raising her voice at her partner because of an aggravation and then locking him out of THEIR bedroom. If she needed a moment take a walk but she showed how much respect she had for him in the relationship right then. Secondly anytime someone gets into a relationship where the other has kids or pets and pulls the bs she is they’re IMMEDIATELY the AH to me. Period. Thirdly any ultimatum in a relationship is in its self a power play. Boundaries are fine but when someone tells me “it’s me or the dog!” I will ALWAYS pick my dog over you 100/10 She’s the AH overwhelmingly so. Don’t like begging then close the damn kennel door
Not even done with story 1 and already i csn say NTA. Its pretty clear op father has chosen his new family over them, now he has to reap what he has sown
And Jen finally caught on that OP doesn't want an equal partner whom he respects. Now Jen doesn't have a dog and OP can spoil the poor dog until it's completely wild.
In my opinion puppies are easier to train then a full grown dog and i think has a lot with OP with not respecting his girlfriend and I find it annoying when a dog is begging and whining while I'm cooking or eating and the dog will become a problem
Story 3: you are entitled to feel uncomfortable and the fact she invalidates your feelings is horrible. Try turning the tables and say to your wife ok so you are ok with me doing the same thing to (insert beautiful friend) because it's all a joke.
So at what point did “dad” start screwing around with stepmom? Seven months? Either he was fucking around before (and the death is suspicious) or his wife died and he went out to find someone to fill the roll and never loved either wife
Last story: NTA her friend sounds super jealous. I wish I could do that with my mother but she's gone. OP has the right to enjoy those moments with her mother because we never know what tomorrow will bring. OP should have a sit down with them and let them know how much this affects her. It isn't a joke if the person isn't laughing along with you.
I like how every one jumps to OP being the idiot even though he warned his daughter about the consequences of doing that task but did she listen, nope. Well too freaking bad, NTA, actions have consequences. And people who are using the whole pain as an excuse to be disobedient and not listen or people who don’t seem like the type to ever discipline kids. Seriously grow up Redditor’s.
Yeah some idiot k07freeman even bullied me for saying my honest opinion over it. I thought people were allowed to speak out in comments or oh wait it only applies to subject they want to deliberately badmouth?
Last story. I used to talk with my mother everyday two or three times.i called while I was going to work , or during the day and visiting her really often during the week. My brother used to tease me for this. We lost her last February. I truly cherish those moments and I am really grateful for them. Talk to your loved ones often and tell them you love them every single time.
Daughter with joint pain: NTA. I was diagnosed with epilepsy at 14 yrs old, and it's hereditary, so one of my kids was also diagnosed with epilepsy at 13 yrs old. They have seen how much pain I go through when recovering. The massive headaches, disorientation, and body aches last for days and occasionally weeks at a time. My child stopped playing volleyball, doing gymnastics and other things kids their age would normally do. Medications are taken at the right times and one reminder at time of scheduling appointments was needed. Their decisions on activities they want to participate in is strictly on them. Good grades are required and doctors release if necessary. All activities they decided to continue or stopping was all their decisions.
always find it funny when people try to dictate how someone connects with other people/animals. "It's your inferior" uhm who tf are you to decide that? I'd still put my dogs life over any random human at any age. Nobody but me decides how I view my dog and what sacrifices I'm willing to make for it. People need to get over themselves. Just because you're a human doesn't automatically mean to me you're more important than my dog!
Agree with this, for some people their furry friends are the ones who have been there for them and given them the more love and support than any of the humans around them. It might be the only experience of genuine, uncomplicated, pure, unconditional love they have.
I’m nearly 70 and my children are in their 40s. I talk to one or another just about daily. I also dearly miss MY mom - she was close to her kids, too. Why do the roommates think it is OK to make snarky comments to OP? To me, OP is the lucky person here.
3. Story: Stories like that always remind me of a good friend of mine after he told everyone he is gay For some time he tried dating, but at some point he was fed up because not wanting to be touched, instantly hooking up with strangers etc seemed to be a problem and he was called homophob when all he wanted was not being sexually harassed
I have tons of Spanish friends (from Europe not SA) and never have I seen men kiss each other on the cheek as a means of saying hi. If they’re family or very close friends they’ll give each other a brief hug but that’s it. I think Bruno is stalking OP and hoping to seduce him. How he thinks that’s possible since OP is not gay is beyond me. But the alphabet people seem to think everything is owed to them now….🙄
I’m not sure about Spain but when I was in Italy and France many years ago it wasn’t uncommon for people, regardless of each person’s gender, frequently greeted each other with kisses on the cheek. The challenges was knowing if it was meant to be 2 or 3 times.
OP told his daughter not to do that and she did it anyways... Her pain is now her problem... Oh She Wanted To Play With The Dog!! Then stop acting like an idiot hurting yourself over it... It takes little to no effort to play with a dog she just wanted to be rough with it and got herself hurt in the process and doesn't want to admit it... OP can care but not every situation demands it
I have three dogs and it was hell on wheels to get them to stop begging (all rescues). OP is the idiot. Dogs are gonna be dogs. But, steps can be taken…
Yea right no it both idoit. dog people need to be with one because op sounds like me, n my so with lulu. Even when training the dog, yall both need to be on the same page. It is like vegan dating someone who is not. they are just too incapable and it ok.
Gf is the idiot ,dogs are dogs ,and I would forsee in the future the gf taking the dog for a ride to exert her power,sorry Op NTA. Op gf doesn't like dogs and doesn't want Op to have one
@@josevargas4082 glad Jen saw the post and left him. I grew up with dogs and love having them as pets but a bad, untrained dog=a bad dog owner. OP needs to train their pet better.
I hate when a dog begs, so I taught my late baby girl "no begging" which has her turn away from the people or myself that are eating. She was the best dog and I just lost her 9 days. 😢 it still hurts a lot.
May she live on in heart. You gave her the best life a dog could ask her. Know that she is watching over you. No one can ever replace a family member, we just create new spaces for the ones come in the future
Story 1 : as soon as your bother move with you with in a year Either ask your grand parents to adopt you or if they are your maternal grandparents change your surname into theirs Then make a whole post on every social media how your ex dad tried to erase your late mom to make him happy So now you and your bother is erasing him for your own happiness
I don't hate dogs but too many dog people I know baby their totally untrained dogs and let them jump all over me to the point I cannot wear dresses and stockings to their houses as they will get ripped. I have cats I tell off for jumping on kitchen counters, the computer or trying to eat my food and they do eventually learn, they will leave visitors alone too, never understand why these people's dogs need to be all over you, I do like dogs that will sit nicely by you, let you scruff them on the belly after sniffing an offered hand, lie on your foot, that's a well trained dog.
And don't forget the trend of taking your dog everywhere to the stores near food where they piss and shit everywhere, to restaurants and everywhere dogs don't belong. And god forbid you say anything because you're just an animal hater
Cats usually don't like human contact outside of their family. You can't compare a dog and a cat. I have both and always have. Two different creatures.
Story 2+ update: OP sounds bitter no one was on its side and his fiance finally had enough a being second fiddle to a dog. I hope you and your dog have a great wedding, that is if the dog also decides that they can do better.
Story 1: what a horrible father & step mother. Yes he is entitled to move on but he is NOT entitled to remove your mother from everything, to invalidate their feelings & then gaslight you. Toxic people.
Jen or the dog story : Yes, OP, YTA. It really is Jen or the dog. Make your choice, and may you and your dog live happily ever after, or, at least, until it dies and you have to get another.
If Bruno told his other 😮 brother in laws heir asses were fine, doubt they would be happy. Or if OP had told his sister in law that her ass is fine and if so wasn't married, he'd want to bang her, I doubt that would go over well.
I think it needs to be said more often, but expecting your kid to just fall in line and love step parents the way you love them because they are kind to them has some serious nice-guy energy.
That last story: My mom is mid forties and my mana(grandma) was almost 70 when she passed. They called and texted every day and hung out multiple times a week. Reddit has made being close to ur parents as an adult, weird and I freaking hate it.
I talk to my mom almost everyday. Actually, I go over to her house 4-5 days a week for a few hours after work. The older you get, the more you treasure that time together.
I don't get why OP is YTA when he told his daughter that rough housing with the dog was going to make her hurt later. He warns her multiple times and she doesn't listen so I don't blame OP for not comforting her straight away when she started to hurt. Kids need to learn when they hit their max. Also the consequences of over doing something. Not saying that OP can't comfort at all.
I think it was more the *tone* of his comments, and they feel... borderline, I guess. It's hard to tell from the description (and possibly unreliable narrator) whether the daughter was refusing to mention her pain because she wanted the independence of being able to deal with the consequences on her own (in which case the dad ignoring it was the right move), because she was afraid of future enjoyment getting taken away from her (understandable worry; dad might be good, bad, or neutral), or because she knew the dad would mock her over ignoring his "well-meaning" advice (in which case the dad is an asshole). It feels similar to the anecdotes where a person has an issue with dietary restrictions (e.g. diabetes, gut issues, mild allergies, gout, etc.), and the OP asks if they're an asshole for their behavior regarding the other person's condition. And quite often, there's a lack of appreciation for the other person's autonomy. A person with diabetes is still free to eat a donut; they just need to figure out how to balance their diet and insulin around that treat. A person with gout is still free to eat fried food, even knowing they'll suffer for it; that's their choice. A person with lactose intolerance can still enjoy a bowl of ice cream, and accept the bathroom ordeal later on. Those choices may not be the wisest choices, but the person is free to make such a choice. And if someone sees their loved one making a string of choices than negatively impact their long-term health, they may or may not be able to deal with that -- but they can't *override* those choices. Maybe they'll have to cut ties rather than watch someone eat themselves into an early grave. Maybe they'll just have to say "I won't comment on your dietary choices so long as you don't gripe about the consequences in my hearing." And maybe they can help encourage better choices through the way they stock the fridge and pantry. But they need to respect autonomy. And in this case, it's not obvious whether the dad respects the daughter's autonomy or not. It *seems* like he might -- he didn't outright stop the activity, just warned about it a couple times -- but being a jerk about it in the aftermath is still a form of undermining, and I'm not sure from the description whether he was being a jerk or not.
I already said it on another story, its a classic case of the more you push the less it goes. The dad tried to force the connection instead of letting it (maybe) grow naturally. The best solution I have read was where the stepchildren were all 10+ and agreed to help in emergencies but stay out of eachothers busines otherwise(wich still pissed of the parents)
Dog one I'm gonna go with ESH. I am gonna start off saying hate dogs. It isn't treating your dog like a human when doing the things OP was prone to do with his dog. Most of those behaviors are normal even if you've trained your dog fairly well. Sleeping on the bed is normal. He's for sure TA for feeding the dog table scraps. Black pepper is something most people put in their food and it's toxic to dogs. Onions too. Just to point out come commonly used items in food that are toxic. Most bones from your food can also kill your dog. But GF was also an AH because it wasn't the dogs behavior that was her issue. She clearly just hates dogs and wanted him to get rid of it. She was being an AH and I would not have put it past her to be physically punishing the dog or yelling at it when he wasn't around. Dogs are animals but that doesn't mean that they don't have feelings and a certain amount of ability to understand what you are doing or saying to them. Dogs aren't all that capable of self awareness. They do not understand what they are doing is bad. They just do it on instinct. You can't treat animals with the same expectations for behavior that you have for a human. She wasn't just being unreasonable at times she was being abusive towards that dog regardless of what side of the situation you agree with. I agree with only the fact that they were never going to work as a couple. Instead of trying to force him to get rid of the dog that she already knew came with him before accepting his proposal she could have offered to help train it. That's really the only way it would have obeyed her too. They had to work together. But she hates dogs and was expecting him to just get rid of it. She never should have accepted the proposal. He needs to just find someone who actually enjoys being around dogs. And stop feeding the dog anything other than dog food before he kills it.
I’d say dad was NTA. He told his daughter that she wasn’t gonna enjoy the pain later. He has to be a bit tough on this. She refused to listen. She put the quarter in the jukebox, now she gets to dance the dance. Not every time calls for coddling the feelings. And yes, it is a bit of an I told you so. Cause he did. His mom needs to let him be a parent. And stop undoing his work.
The dog is the human's inferior!? Bullshit. Table scraps are bed for dogs. Babytalk to animal just like kids can be irritating but if he wants to big deal, his choice. I don't with my furbabies but I do talk to them. I hold & cuddle them and kiss their heads. I allow them to kiss me too.
Rough housing one. I'm kind of with the dad with this one. She needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. Call me the tough love person but I do think this will teach her to be more resilient. Cold as it might seem of me
DOG STORY: Is it an animal? Yes. Should it be begging or be so close to the food that it touches it? No, But to call a dog your inferior?! NOPE!! This is a loving being that, if it's big enough could rip you to shreds with it's teeth if it wanted and that has a heart bigger than most people!! Animals are anything but inferior!!
That 2nd story is just one big YIKES. Glad OP's now ex-fiance got out of there. You can tell the guy is manipulative and controlling based on both his words and actions. "We've been together and I wanted a dog 2 years ago." Nowhere does he mention that he discussed it with his fiance nor does he ever say that he tries to train the dog and just lets it run around doing whatever it wants. The kicker is his attitude after his fiance leaves him. "She saw the post and left. Whatever." OP's acting like a child.
Although I agree 100% in the last story that not speaking to your mum in 3 months is a sad reflection on the relationship, but equally well speaking twice daily is the opposite end of the spectrum. I'd think most 20-something young adults who are already living away from home would more likely speak with their parents once or twice a week.
My ex-SIL has a lot of issues, and I think codependency was one. She would call her mom every day, and she would expect her children to call her every night (during sleepovers) and if they didn't, something was wrong. I could see how much her kids were so happy and carefree when apart from her that the intrusion of having to touch bases with her nightly felt unhealthy and abusive. (Now, over a decade later, her kids have gone low-contact and no-contact with her respectively, and have nothing good to say about her -- they even refuse presents that she tries to funnel through us. She has always had serious issues with boundaries, but it took us a long time to see the full extent of that problem.) I once was discussing this with a family friend, who is from a huge family (seven kids, each of whom has gone on to have at least three kids with one of them having twelve so far), and she couldn't imagine *not* touching base with your mom at least nightly. Maybe it's an extravert thing? I'm an introvert, and while I love my mom and am very close to her, I could happily vacation for a week or be somewhere for several weeks and just touch bases with her once or twice a week, maybe less. But then, I'm like that with various friendships, as well -- plenty of time apart is good, and I don't think about them that much during the interim.
Roomate complainig about OP talking to her mother too much. Some of us wish we could have that kind of relationship with our mothers. Also, there will come a time, that they will no longer be able to speak to each other. Let OP cherish her moments with her mom.
Last story, the friend sucks be thankful you have parents. I was 19 when my parents died and I was in the Navy 10,000 miles away and missed the funeral service and only found out 3 months later.
Story 2 YTA Look, I love pets, but encouraging begging is NOT a good idea. Especially since some foods are terribly unhealthy for dogs! Story 4 Uh-huh... and if it were a kid with diabetes are you just gonna let them eat a super big sugary good just because they want feel "normal"? Or if it's someone allergic to shellfish try to eat a whole crab because they want it? I don't think so. FYBFI It's my blunt opinion
Story 2: I know!!! It drives me up a wall seeing this. My dog never begged for food till my parents and my friends started giving him table scraps. I always tell them not to and stopped them but it always went in one ear and out the other. It’s so frustrating! (My dog is a corgi, sadly they tend to be little gluttons and weight control is a must! So then doing this and giving him extra food drives me angry because it’s makes him put on unnecessary weight and gives him an upset stomach)
1 That's completely different. she did chose to do hurt herself. 2 your comparison is dumb. you- you would force food down a kids mouth. Just ignore them choking and fighting back.
@@Digitalfairy there a point where is plain stupidity. You know an action will unnecessary hurt you. but you still do it you still do it. Then you parented it's okay (I.E not in pain) consequences for your actions and choices.
Story 1: Tell the dad that he can just throw your pictures away and not talk about you anymore and he'll get over it soon enough. Story 2: She doesn't want a dog, so anything OP/the dog did would be annoying to her. OP may have been annoying with his teasing, but I can't stand people who interrupt discipline and then say you aren't doing your job with the dog. Like, do you not realize that multiple people trying to give discipline is confusing? If it's not your dog, shut up for a sec. And if the dog begging is such an annoyance, eat at the table and establish the dining room as off-limits, it's not hard. Last Story: I don't call my mom often, but our group chat is consistent and when I do call her the convo lasts like 4 hours lol. Roomies can't say "everyone's relationship is different so don't judge" and still be mad at OP lol.
First story : OP is so not the AH because their father didn't allow either of his son's a chance to properly grieve their mother as it was inconvenient to him. The fact that he so easily moved on and tried to erase his first wife is a clear red flag he doesn't really care about anyone but himself. The stepmom is no peach either as she jealously tried to replace OP mother and expected her children to see OP's dad as a replacement to their father. He is another idiot parent who thinks therapy is supposed to " fix " the nonconforming first children to go along with his new happy family narrative but that's not how it works . He is the selfish one who forced and guilted his first children to do what ever was best for him and never thought about their wants or needs at all. OP would be better off going NC with him and let him have his new family.
Living with Pain- Child or Adult, the more you deal with the pain, the stronger you become. You learn how to cope and deal with pain. Pain is NOT the enemy; it tells you everything you need to know, but you must be patient and tenacious, to listen. OP was RIGHT to let him daughter suffer in slience after pushing her body's boundaries. She MUST learn these things if she is going to survive on her own as an adult. Comforting, IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST THING. IT REMINDS YOU THAT OTHERS AREN'T IN AS MUCH PAIN AS YOU, AND SYMPATHY CAN MAKE THINGS FEEL MUCH WORSE. That is when the pain gets in to your brain and screws up how you think. RESERVE YOUR COMFORT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE PAIN, FOR THOSE TIMES WHEN IT IS OBVIOUS THEY ARE ON THE EDGE OF THIER NORMAL TOLERANCE. THEN SIMPLY STEP IN AND DO THE CHORE THEY NEED MOST: USUALLY FOOD OR CLEANING UP. As one who has had to live in agonizing pain, FOR MANY years. There were times when I had to choose: do I eat or do I clean up. Well, cleaning up the dishes doesn't help one survive. I get more comfort from a simple meal or cleaning up, when I cannot.
Story 2: I hate to break it to the op, but begging, giving the dog table scraps, and the dog sleeping on the bed are all pretty bad behaviors, let alone combined… OP is dense…
I have cats. Yes, I let them sleep with me. Yes, I talk baby talk to them. BUT I establish boundaries with them too. I don't allow them in the kitchen when I cook. It's a safety hazard. I don't give then scraps from my plate. I use both garlic and onion in a lot of my foods, both dangerous to cats, and I pay for a high value cat food to keep them happy and healthy. OP was not doing the dog any favors. I don't blame the girlfriend for walking out.
Dog one: I’m a dog lover. There are two rules that I will adamantly enforce. No animals in the kitchen. It is literally unhygienic and unsanitary. And no feeding table scraps because it does in fact, help with begging . You both need to see other people.
Exactly it’s the same with dogs and children- it’s your job to teach them how to behave and get along in society. The thing isn’t just annoying/upsetting for those around you but it also harms the actual dog/child since ultimately no-one will want to interact with them if they always behave obnoxiously.
Last story. OP NTA. I think your relationship with your mom is nice. she talked about your relationship with your mom and you only commented on her relationship with hers. Which was fair game. If they expect you to respect her relationship with her parents, she needs to respect your relationship with yours.
I live with my mom, taking care of her and the house, and even before my dad passed, my brother would call her everyday. He lives in a capital city, (US) with a 2 hour commute. He calls my mom or me, if her phone dies, to save the lives of every person around him as well as himself from a stroke. He keeps his temper down and the cussing to the minimum with her so he doesn’t get crazier from idiot drivers who act like they’re the only cars on the road! When you talk with ppl while doing a boring or unpleasant task, time goes faster! You’re not thinking of idiot ppl, the long, uphill walk, the dog that barks and makes you jump & your heart race when you pass that one house…and moms are often the voice of reason and sanity-who wouldn’t want to talk to someone like that?!
OP NTA Bruno is being inappropriate. You need to tell him your uncomfortable with his advances and what your boundaries are. It doesn't matter if he is gay or straight you don't like him hitting on you and don't feel comfortable with him kissing you. Your wife or is it your sister is YTA for acting like it is just fun and jokes when it isn't
Story 4 I have arthritis and not just one form ,so I understand your daughter she wants to enjoy some good fun ,if we pay for are actions fun is virtual for life
I am so sick of people disregarding men feeling uncomfortable by the Inappropriate and unwarranted advances of someone (male or female). Why do straight men have to just tolerate being harrassed?!?! If he was anything but a straight male, people would have his back to the dawn of time.
Wow!!! OP sure expects quite a bit from his kids. They went about this in the wrong way. Your dad is a manipulator and incredibly selfish. Dad will have a shocked Pikachu face when neither of his boys ever come around again. He is going to have to suck it up and just depend on his very much more special new kids and controlling wife. So sorry OP. Hopefully your brother gets away soon
Basically telling ANY woman if they were single you would jump them would be inappropriate. Your basically asking them if they are open to an affair. It’s probably the same with Bruno.
OP and Brother should tell Dad and Wife to burn in He!!. Brother should run away to Grandparents and make Dad pay Support. If brother is a minor arson could become a hobby to get his point across.
Again and again: You can't force a relationship with ANYONE for ANY REASON. dad was an ah
Agreed
Disagreed. By nature of giving birth, the offspring's blood relationships are set in stone from conception.
Um, yeah, because she's NOT their mom. In their eyes, the deceased woman who gave birth to them and raised them for as long as she could will only be their mom. Any person who convinces their kids to get rid of mementos of their dead parent to make way for a new "family" is despicable.
and they don't need therapy. They are merely realistic and living in the real world.
“Kids sometimes have to do things they don’t want to make adults happy” made me gag. He did not understand the things that could lead to
Right he thought he would be the biggest monster in their life. How very naive of him although dad would make the perfect groomer.
I just feel sorry for the doggo one day he's going to outgrow you as a person.
I don't blame OP for being uncomfortable with Bruno he being a creep and really gross and the fact that OP's wife is acting like noting is wrong is just sad and gross
When Bruno turns up “missing”, the song would take a whole new meaning.
I wonder what the wife would say, if she had a sister, that said and done that stuff. But despite that, OPs boundaries should be respected.
People needs to get some boundaries ffs. Its weird that the wife doesn’t understand harassing behaviour is not something to be dismissive about
What exactly are people congratulating people for being gay? This is why so many young people or pretending to be somewhere in the lgbqt category. Because we have idiots like Opie who think that they should congratulate and van over people for claiming they have a different sexual orientation.
@@KDawg92801we dont talk about bruno.
Okay Bruno needs to chill. OP isn’t comfortable so it’s not a joke
Bruno reminds me of a transperson I dealt with in college, she always tried to be intimate with me, even on discord and any apps we were in due to clubs. No one would do anything about it and it got to the point that I was avoiding her but I got slandered as a transphobe, and she be watching over any dating apps i was on
That really sucked. Its like someone thinks they can force you to date them. Every person has agency to date or not date who they want.
@@Azulakayes Indeed, it pushed me into isolation in my college except for the few friends I had
I say go to councillors at school. This is sexual harassment and the only reply is welcome to equality
Story 1: I would be telling the half siblings “can you imagine if dad dies? You could get a new dad and forget about this one”
Beautiful
Story 1: f*** him, you and your brother have a right to your own feelings and if he wants his happy family so bad then he just going to have to have it without the two of you in it. It's your turn to be happy and get what you want the difference is you're not foresee your dad to do anything just leaving him, and I recommend you get ready to help your brother do the same because your dad going to guilt-trip the hell out of him now that he knows his brainwashing isn't working.
god, why do people think therapy is meant to "fix" people, even when that "fixing" is trying to manipulate people to your mindset
because most people have a fundamental misunderstanding of therapy at its core and think of it as a magic fix anything button when it comes to thoughts when really its just there to unsort knots in your brain and give you tools to function at as normal a level as possible. parents in particular tend to think they cant be wrong in most of these stories so they send people to therapy with the mindset of "im an adult and i know best so i canr possibly be wrong in this which means the therapist will think the same thing as me and "fox" them. source: i was forced into therapy when i was younger
Because the people who use therapy in this way genuinely cannot separate their own desires from what is actually good and healthy for everyone. They operate on the underlying assumption that what is best for them is best for everyone, and thus there's something wrong with anyone who says/believes otherwise.
Because many parents honestly don't see their children as actual people. To them, their children are extensions of THEM and they hate being reminded that their children are their own people. It's disgusting, but there are a lot of parents who know damn well that if they tried the shit they do to their kids on anyone else, they'd have no friends or relationships to speak of. They just think there shouldn't be any consequences for treating what they essentially view as an accessory like that.
i honestly would just leave a ticking time bomb in dads head, "mom would disgusted with you and what youve done to us and her memory". sure hell deny it and get angry but on quiet nights by himself itll be there in his mind hell be stuck with it and remember it everytime his kids refuse to do something with the steps
If he's moving this other woman and her children in approximately 7 months after their mother's death, I would suspect that the stepmother was an affair partner, with a distinct possibility of her children being the dad's other family.
Story 3: I imagine Sandra would have had a very different reaction if it was her sister making such advances on her husband.
I was desperately looking for one valid comment here ! Luckily I found it! This wife is sucky.. i've seen this behavior from many gay guys i know, even trying my husband.. for some it is a competition to get a heterosexual man..
@@minnarosenqvistmr Yeah, that's very screwed up. You know that if it was a straight man trying to get with an out lesbian, they'd see it as wrong.
@@minnarosenqvistmr Many gay men see it as the ultimate triumph to seduce a straight man. OP should cold shoulder his creepy BIL.
Story 3: totally agree with that last comment, your GF already knew the problem she just ignored, and if you don't feel comfortable then you're not a terrible person. I will say talk to him and explain how you feel, find the chance I really is joking around and doesn't understand that you're not comfortable with it. Don't let her lie just because she doesn't understand why you have a problem with it.
As a person with chronic pain and a son with JRA … sometimes the kid needs to fight through the pain especially if they realize their actions made the situation better or they need to be able to ask for help. Nothing is wrong with letting a kid start managing their health.
This. Also it causes a parent stress and pain to see the child in pain.
When I hurt myself after I took on more than is safe for me, my wife is mad.
We all know those situations.
She is mad because she loves me and it hurts her to see me with back pain for a week.
Also i cause her work by that.
People aren't islands. We owe each other.
Fair
I have chronic pain. And even as a kid I know what would push me over the edge. And when I did it I only had myself to blame. Parent is NTA
The irony of him telling OP that he needed to learn he wasn’t gonna always get what he wanted and then throwing a tantrum and a guilt trip whenever OP refused to give *him* what *he* wanted
#1: "Dad, I'm moving out because of you. You never asked our step-siblings to get rid of reminders of their dad, did you? But me having photos of my dead mom are too much?"
Oh my God that says it all this whole story you as a dad can be summed up with more than one kid lost a parent in that household. It was only your kids with your dead wife that had to get rid of their photos or talk about their dead parents. I say parents because you died too
Tell your mom that you had her as a mom and you understand what she thinks of as a mom and that you're doing it this way. Because kids have to manage their pain when they have an illness. You're the only one that loves her that is close enough to actually be a parent through a process and still have your focus remain on her overall health.
Story 1: So, dad moved AP in 7 months after the wife died, which is why those kids were so keen on the blended family, because they already knew dad quite well, right? I mean, that is a plausible explaination, right? AP wanted her rival erased from memories, like a VC Andrews novel, right?
Bingo!
The dog story, I read it on Reddit. He was so nasty in the comments about his ex... Yes they broke up over this. He couldn't understand why he was getting shit on. Like he purposely egged up the situation knowing she doesn't like dogs who beg.
Story 1: dad needs to get the sh** kicked out of him.
So does that bish 'mom'.
Had her kids believing their dad was just a Stanger that died and isn't coming back
Agree
I've said it before and I'll say it again: abusive parents need to be named and shamed. Let their coworkers and friends know exactly who they are behind closed doors. Bet they'll learn pretty quick when their ahole tendencies can't be rug swept.
Yeah, no, even if kissing your hellos isn't sexual in the home country, which OK, maybe yes maybe no, if Bruno is making OP uncomfortable to the point he's avoiding him and finding excuses to keep him at arm's length, then that's a pretty clear indicator that he at least FEELS sexually harrassed, even if it's not what Bruno intends.
OP should consider talking to Bruno, and casually asking him to back off. No accusations, no big deal, I know it's all joking around, ha-ha, Now knock it off.
To quote E from The Incredibles: "Confront the problem. Fight! WIN! And do drop by again, dahling, I do enjoy our little talks."
Step family therapy: he’s looking for a therapist to brainwash you.
when people think that therapy "fixes" people, they think its to change their mindset to the narcissists will, therapy is not meant to fix people
Last story: I am a 70 yo woman. My daughter is 50yo. I may speak to her 3 times a day or not for a week. Glad no one is keeping track. Roommate needs to stay out of it.
My mom is mid forties and my mana(grandma) was almost 70 when she passed. They called and texted every day and hung out multiple times a week. There is nothing wrong with being close to ur parents, and I hate Reddit for making it into something weird
as a queer man myself, i gotta say, bruno is being an absolute creep. i don't understand what possess someone to think that confessing to and flirting with someone who is in a relationship is ok. like, they are obviously taken. leave them alone. they don't want you. they are not an option for you.
it's so fucking uncomfortable to have someone to continue to flirt with you even after your feelings towards them have been revealed, and i wish people would stop doing it, regardless of sexuality or gender. go find someone else who likes you back. quit harassing this one person. you are achieving nothing other than breeding bad feelings by being persistent.
and op's wife is awful. if her brother in law was doing this to her, im sure she would be pissed if op reacted the same way she's reacting.
Last story: you pretty much already proved your point, her whole argument can be flipped back on her because she had no right to say that to you just because you and your mom like saying goodnight to each other. Plenty of people do that with their parents and doesn't mean there's anything going on. If she didn't want you to say that she shouldn't have said it herself.
People are so worried about being "inclusive" (and not looking phobic) these days that if you are of certain sexual orientations you can literally sexually harass someone, in front of everyone, and get away with it. If it was a heterosexual man making a lesbian sister uncomfortable...would it be seen as "just joking"? It shouldn't matter who is in the situation, if someone feels uncomfortable, they should be listened to...
the story about the daughter with chronic pain. I'm gonna go with NTA, Op warned their daughter not once not twice but at least 4 times that if she kept R-O-U-G-H H-O-U-S-I-N-G with the dog she'll be in pain. My parents were a firm believer in "you reap what you sow." So if I WILLFULLY chose to ignore them on anything, then the consequences are mine alone to bare/bear. So i dont understand why people callin OP the YTA. Op's daughter refused to tell op they were in pain. So Op's daughter reaped what they sow.
I feel the same way. The kid is 13. At that age, she needs to make her own choices about things like this. Should OP have offered her something to ease her pain anyway? Maybe so, but that still doesn't make him an idiot if he's allowing his daughter her own agency.
Nice to see some sane people here
@@laargboolag9147 ikr? Op never told her she COULDN'T play with the dog just not to rough house with the dog. play stupid games win stupid prizes.
And at 13 she should know what to do to relieve her pain and do it herself.
Op is intentionally using the dog to annoy gf it’s a power thing. My BIL was a “great” dad for the same reason. He completely undermined my sister’s authority with the kids. How bad it was depends on the outcome he wanted..ie mom sends kids to clean their room he tells them to stop and takes them for ice cream.. ect. It just looks like daddy is being sweet to dog/kids but it’s done to instigate a reaction..
Yeah but her hatred for the dog is a bit much. They need to go their separate ways and she needs to be with someone who hates dogs as much as she does.
@@kimsvisualdiary It wasn't my impression that she hated the dog. I love dogs, but untrained, spoiled dogs make me mad and I feel like this was her main issue. Also, she didn't a dog in the first place. If you are forced to interact with an animal, it better behave or you will of couse be even less likely to like or even tolerate it. The OP in this Story was totally clueless. The way he acted with his pet, wasn't just different from his Ex, it was wrong, you can ask every Trainer, every owner of a well behaved dog. With his attitude, he will ruin future relationships, too.
@@kimsvisualdiary I wouldn't say she hates dogs. She hates the actions.I have two dogs and i hate all of that stuff as well.
Sorry but if I were him I’d have called a lawyer right then and there to divorce. There are three things wrong: the first is her raising her voice at her partner because of an aggravation and then locking him out of THEIR bedroom. If she needed a moment take a walk but she showed how much respect she had for him in the relationship right then. Secondly anytime someone gets into a relationship where the other has kids or pets and pulls the bs she is they’re IMMEDIATELY the AH to me. Period. Thirdly any ultimatum in a relationship is in its self a power play. Boundaries are fine but when someone tells me “it’s me or the dog!” I will ALWAYS pick my dog over you 100/10
She’s the AH overwhelmingly so. Don’t like begging then close the damn kennel door
@@kimsvisualdiaryI don’t think she hated the dog, just the bad behavior the dog displayed, thanks to his owner😒
Not even done with story 1 and already i csn say NTA.
Its pretty clear op father has chosen his new family over them, now he has to reap what he has sown
Jen vs Dog: I think OP missed the big hint that Jen DOESN'T WANT A DOG.
And Jen finally caught on that OP doesn't want an equal partner whom he respects. Now Jen doesn't have a dog and OP can spoil the poor dog until it's completely wild.
I liked the commentor who picked up on it being a power play by OP and I think they are spot on.
OP is a bad dog "dad" and a bad partner
Wouldn't say so, it is more that Jen doesn't want a dog that hasn't been raised/trained properly
In my opinion puppies are easier to train then a full grown dog and i think has a lot with OP with not respecting his girlfriend and I find it annoying when a dog is begging and whining while I'm cooking or eating and the dog will become a problem
Story 3: you are entitled to feel uncomfortable and the fact she invalidates your feelings is horrible. Try turning the tables and say to your wife ok so you are ok with me doing the same thing to (insert beautiful friend) because it's all a joke.
1st story: that man was already cheating before the wife died also those seven children couple of them maybe his.
So at what point did “dad” start screwing around with stepmom? Seven months? Either he was fucking around before (and the death is suspicious) or his wife died and he went out to find someone to fill the roll and never loved either wife
My exact thoughts.
Last story: NTA her friend sounds super jealous. I wish I could do that with my mother but she's gone. OP has the right to enjoy those moments with her mother because we never know what tomorrow will bring. OP should have a sit down with them and let them know how much this affects her. It isn't a joke if the person isn't laughing along with you.
I like how every one jumps to OP being the idiot even though he warned his daughter about the consequences of doing that task but did she listen, nope. Well too freaking bad, NTA, actions have consequences. And people who are using the whole pain as an excuse to be disobedient and not listen or people who don’t seem like the type to ever discipline kids. Seriously grow up Redditor’s.
Yeah some idiot k07freeman even bullied me for saying my honest opinion over it. I thought people were allowed to speak out in comments or oh wait it only applies to subject they want to deliberately badmouth?
@@Digitalfairy That guy's a contrarian troll who always goes against the consensus.
@@Digitalfairy AITA has disgusting mods who ban anyone who go against their troll sockpuppet accts. Needs an overhaul.
@@laargboolag9147yeah I got a permanent ban from the sub 😆
Last story. I used to talk with my mother everyday two or three times.i called while I was going to work , or during the day and visiting her really often during the week. My brother used to tease me for this. We lost her last February. I truly cherish those moments and I am really grateful for them. Talk to your loved ones often and tell them you love them every single time.
Daughter with joint pain: NTA. I was diagnosed with epilepsy at 14 yrs old, and it's hereditary, so one of my kids was also diagnosed with epilepsy at 13 yrs old. They have seen how much pain I go through when recovering. The massive headaches, disorientation, and body aches last for days and occasionally weeks at a time. My child stopped playing volleyball, doing gymnastics and other things kids their age would normally do. Medications are taken at the right times and one reminder at time of scheduling appointments was needed.
Their decisions on activities they want to participate in is strictly on them. Good grades are required and doctors release if necessary. All activities they decided to continue or stopping was all their decisions.
always find it funny when people try to dictate how someone connects with other people/animals. "It's your inferior" uhm who tf are you to decide that? I'd still put my dogs life over any random human at any age. Nobody but me decides how I view my dog and what sacrifices I'm willing to make for it. People need to get over themselves. Just because you're a human doesn't automatically mean to me you're more important than my dog!
Agree with this, for some people their furry friends are the ones who have been there for them and given them the more love and support than any of the humans around them. It might be the only experience of genuine, uncomplicated, pure, unconditional love they have.
I’m nearly 70 and my children are in their 40s. I talk to one or another just about daily. I also dearly miss MY mom - she was close to her kids, too.
Why do the roommates think it is OK to make snarky comments to OP? To me, OP is the lucky person here.
S2: just because brother in law came out does not give him the right to make passes at u.
3. Story:
Stories like that always remind me of a good friend of mine after he told everyone he is gay
For some time he tried dating, but at some point he was fed up because not wanting to be touched, instantly hooking up with strangers etc seemed to be a problem and he was called homophob when all he wanted was not being sexually harassed
I have tons of Spanish friends (from Europe not SA) and never have I seen men kiss each other on the cheek as a means of saying hi. If they’re family or very close friends they’ll give each other a brief hug but that’s it. I think Bruno is stalking OP and hoping to seduce him. How he thinks that’s possible since OP is not gay is beyond me. But the alphabet people seem to think everything is owed to them now….🙄
I’m not sure about Spain but when I was in Italy and France many years ago it wasn’t uncommon for people, regardless of each person’s gender, frequently greeted each other with kisses on the cheek. The challenges was knowing if it was meant to be 2 or 3 times.
OP told his daughter not to do that and she did it anyways... Her pain is now her problem... Oh She Wanted To Play With The Dog!! Then stop acting like an idiot hurting yourself over it... It takes little to no effort to play with a dog she just wanted to be rough with it and got herself hurt in the process and doesn't want to admit it... OP can care but not every situation demands it
I have three dogs and it was hell on wheels to get them to stop begging (all rescues).
OP is the idiot. Dogs are gonna be dogs. But, steps can be taken…
Yea right no it both idoit. dog people need to be with one because op sounds like me, n my so with lulu. Even when training the dog, yall both need to be on the same page. It is like vegan dating someone who is not. they are just too incapable and it ok.
The girlfriend is also an asshole for her vicious behavior towards the dog. She doesn't have to like the dog, but she shouldn't act like a bitch
Gf is the idiot ,dogs are dogs ,and I would forsee in the future the gf taking the dog for a ride to exert her power,sorry Op NTA. Op gf doesn't like dogs and doesn't want Op to have one
@@josevargas4082 so did you just not listen to the story or is this just a troll comment?
@@josevargas4082 glad Jen saw the post and left him. I grew up with dogs and love having them as pets but a bad, untrained dog=a bad dog owner. OP needs to train their pet better.
I hate when a dog begs, so I taught my late baby girl "no begging" which has her turn away from the people or myself that are eating. She was the best dog and I just lost her 9 days. 😢 it still hurts a lot.
I'm sorry for your loss
May she live on in heart. You gave her the best life a dog could ask her. Know that she is watching over you. No one can ever replace a family member, we just create new spaces for the ones come in the future
Story 1 : as soon as your bother move with you with in a year
Either ask your grand parents to adopt you or if they are your maternal grandparents change your surname into theirs
Then make a whole post on every social media how your ex dad tried to erase your late mom to make him happy
So now you and your bother is erasing him for your own happiness
I don't hate dogs but too many dog people I know baby their totally untrained dogs and let them jump all over me to the point I cannot wear dresses and stockings to their houses as they will get ripped.
I have cats I tell off for jumping on kitchen counters, the computer or trying to eat my food and they do eventually learn, they will leave visitors alone too, never understand why these people's dogs need to be all over you,
I do like dogs that will sit nicely by you, let you scruff them on the belly after sniffing an offered hand, lie on your foot, that's a well trained dog.
And don't forget the trend of taking your dog everywhere to the stores near food where they piss and shit everywhere, to restaurants and everywhere dogs don't belong. And god forbid you say anything because you're just an animal hater
Cats usually don't like human contact outside of their family. You can't compare a dog and a cat. I have both and always have. Two different creatures.
@@ButtonsCasey Some peoples cats can very irritating. Especially the ones that think you're scratching post.
Story 2+ update: OP sounds bitter no one was on its side and his fiance finally had enough a being second fiddle to a dog. I hope you and your dog have a great wedding, that is if the dog also decides that they can do better.
Jen dodged a bullet
@@michal31131 nah she dodged a tactical nuke
Story 1: what a horrible father & step mother. Yes he is entitled to move on but he is NOT entitled to remove your mother from everything, to invalidate their feelings & then gaslight you. Toxic people.
Jen or the dog story : Yes, OP, YTA. It really is Jen or the dog. Make your choice, and may you and your dog live happily ever after, or, at least, until it dies and you have to get another.
She didn’t have to cuss him out and if u don’t like how people raise there animals dumb them she should have broken up along time ago
I got nothing against The Gays, but "cultural" or not, I wouldn't want some guy kissing me any more than I'd want Aunt Zelda to play grabass with me.
If Bruno told his other 😮 brother in laws heir asses were fine, doubt they would be happy. Or if OP had told his sister in law that her ass is fine and if so wasn't married, he'd want to bang her, I doubt that would go over well.
Gay or straight, consent means the same.
I think it needs to be said more often, but expecting your kid to just fall in line and love step parents the way you love them because they are kind to them has some serious nice-guy energy.
That last story: My mom is mid forties and my mana(grandma) was almost 70 when she passed. They called and texted every day and hung out multiple times a week. Reddit has made being close to ur parents as an adult, weird and I freaking hate it.
I talk to my mom almost everyday. Actually, I go over to her house 4-5 days a week for a few hours after work. The older you get, the more you treasure that time together.
Lose the fiancee and keep the dog you'll be infinitely happier.
Chronic pain story the daughter is ah he warned her so she have to deal with the fallout
I don't get why OP is YTA when he told his daughter that rough housing with the dog was going to make her hurt later. He warns her multiple times and she doesn't listen so I don't blame OP for not comforting her straight away when she started to hurt. Kids need to learn when they hit their max. Also the consequences of over doing something. Not saying that OP can't comfort at all.
I think it was more the *tone* of his comments, and they feel... borderline, I guess. It's hard to tell from the description (and possibly unreliable narrator) whether the daughter was refusing to mention her pain because she wanted the independence of being able to deal with the consequences on her own (in which case the dad ignoring it was the right move), because she was afraid of future enjoyment getting taken away from her (understandable worry; dad might be good, bad, or neutral), or because she knew the dad would mock her over ignoring his "well-meaning" advice (in which case the dad is an asshole).
It feels similar to the anecdotes where a person has an issue with dietary restrictions (e.g. diabetes, gut issues, mild allergies, gout, etc.), and the OP asks if they're an asshole for their behavior regarding the other person's condition. And quite often, there's a lack of appreciation for the other person's autonomy. A person with diabetes is still free to eat a donut; they just need to figure out how to balance their diet and insulin around that treat. A person with gout is still free to eat fried food, even knowing they'll suffer for it; that's their choice. A person with lactose intolerance can still enjoy a bowl of ice cream, and accept the bathroom ordeal later on. Those choices may not be the wisest choices, but the person is free to make such a choice.
And if someone sees their loved one making a string of choices than negatively impact their long-term health, they may or may not be able to deal with that -- but they can't *override* those choices. Maybe they'll have to cut ties rather than watch someone eat themselves into an early grave. Maybe they'll just have to say "I won't comment on your dietary choices so long as you don't gripe about the consequences in my hearing." And maybe they can help encourage better choices through the way they stock the fridge and pantry. But they need to respect autonomy.
And in this case, it's not obvious whether the dad respects the daughter's autonomy or not. It *seems* like he might -- he didn't outright stop the activity, just warned about it a couple times -- but being a jerk about it in the aftermath is still a form of undermining, and I'm not sure from the description whether he was being a jerk or not.
No it’s because he a man not coddling her
I already said it on another story, its a classic case of the more you push the less it goes.
The dad tried to force the connection instead of letting it (maybe) grow naturally.
The best solution I have read was where the stepchildren were all 10+ and agreed to help in emergencies but stay out of eachothers busines otherwise(wich still pissed of the parents)
Dad and stepmom probably was having an affair before mom died.
Dog one I'm gonna go with ESH. I am gonna start off saying hate dogs. It isn't treating your dog like a human when doing the things OP was prone to do with his dog. Most of those behaviors are normal even if you've trained your dog fairly well. Sleeping on the bed is normal. He's for sure TA for feeding the dog table scraps. Black pepper is something most people put in their food and it's toxic to dogs. Onions too. Just to point out come commonly used items in food that are toxic. Most bones from your food can also kill your dog. But GF was also an AH because it wasn't the dogs behavior that was her issue. She clearly just hates dogs and wanted him to get rid of it. She was being an AH and I would not have put it past her to be physically punishing the dog or yelling at it when he wasn't around. Dogs are animals but that doesn't mean that they don't have feelings and a certain amount of ability to understand what you are doing or saying to them. Dogs aren't all that capable of self awareness. They do not understand what they are doing is bad. They just do it on instinct. You can't treat animals with the same expectations for behavior that you have for a human. She wasn't just being unreasonable at times she was being abusive towards that dog regardless of what side of the situation you agree with. I agree with only the fact that they were never going to work as a couple. Instead of trying to force him to get rid of the dog that she already knew came with him before accepting his proposal she could have offered to help train it. That's really the only way it would have obeyed her too. They had to work together. But she hates dogs and was expecting him to just get rid of it. She never should have accepted the proposal. He needs to just find someone who actually enjoys being around dogs. And stop feeding the dog anything other than dog food before he kills it.
Jennifer needs to chill TF out. Let doggo be a sweet doggo and kick the high-strung fiancee to the curb. Find a hot fellow dog person ♡
I’d say dad was NTA. He told his daughter that she wasn’t gonna enjoy the pain later. He has to be a bit tough on this. She refused to listen. She put the quarter in the jukebox, now she gets to dance the dance. Not every time calls for coddling the feelings. And yes, it is a bit of an I told you so. Cause he did. His mom needs to let him be a parent. And stop undoing his work.
Story 1 - father emotionally abused his own kids.
The dog is the human's inferior!? Bullshit. Table scraps are bed for dogs. Babytalk to animal just like kids can be irritating but if he wants to big deal, his choice. I don't with my furbabies but I do talk to them. I hold & cuddle them and kiss their heads. I allow them to kiss me too.
I'm 58 and still talk to my mom every day.
S4 YTA you told her she ignored you, she's can face the consequences of her actions. Nice job of showing empathy and kindness on your part.
Rough housing one. I'm kind of with the dad with this one. She needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions. Call me the tough love person but I do think this will teach her to be more resilient. Cold as it might seem of me
DOG STORY: Is it an animal? Yes. Should it be begging or be so close to the food that it touches it? No, But to call a dog your inferior?! NOPE!! This is a loving being that, if it's big enough could rip you to shreds with it's teeth if it wanted and that has a heart bigger than most people!! Animals are anything but inferior!!
That 2nd story is just one big YIKES. Glad OP's now ex-fiance got out of there. You can tell the guy is manipulative and controlling based on both his words and actions. "We've been together and I wanted a dog 2 years ago." Nowhere does he mention that he discussed it with his fiance nor does he ever say that he tries to train the dog and just lets it run around doing whatever it wants. The kicker is his attitude after his fiance leaves him. "She saw the post and left. Whatever." OP's acting like a child.
Although I agree 100% in the last story that not speaking to your mum in 3 months is a sad reflection on the relationship, but equally well speaking twice daily is the opposite end of the spectrum. I'd think most 20-something young adults who are already living away from home would more likely speak with their parents once or twice a week.
My ex-SIL has a lot of issues, and I think codependency was one. She would call her mom every day, and she would expect her children to call her every night (during sleepovers) and if they didn't, something was wrong. I could see how much her kids were so happy and carefree when apart from her that the intrusion of having to touch bases with her nightly felt unhealthy and abusive. (Now, over a decade later, her kids have gone low-contact and no-contact with her respectively, and have nothing good to say about her -- they even refuse presents that she tries to funnel through us. She has always had serious issues with boundaries, but it took us a long time to see the full extent of that problem.)
I once was discussing this with a family friend, who is from a huge family (seven kids, each of whom has gone on to have at least three kids with one of them having twelve so far), and she couldn't imagine *not* touching base with your mom at least nightly. Maybe it's an extravert thing? I'm an introvert, and while I love my mom and am very close to her, I could happily vacation for a week or be somewhere for several weeks and just touch bases with her once or twice a week, maybe less. But then, I'm like that with various friendships, as well -- plenty of time apart is good, and I don't think about them that much during the interim.
Roomate complainig about OP talking to her mother too much. Some of us wish we could have that kind of relationship with our mothers. Also, there will come a time, that they will no longer be able to speak to each other. Let OP cherish her moments with her mom.
We don't talk about Bruno 🤣
Last story, the friend sucks be thankful you have parents. I was 19 when my parents died and I was in the Navy 10,000 miles away and missed the funeral service and only found out 3 months later.
Story 2 YTA Look, I love pets, but encouraging begging is NOT a good idea. Especially since some foods are terribly unhealthy for dogs!
Story 4 Uh-huh... and if it were a kid with diabetes are you just gonna let them eat a super big sugary good just because they want feel "normal"? Or if it's someone allergic to shellfish try to eat a whole crab because they want it? I don't think so. FYBFI It's my blunt opinion
Story 2 - Agreed, I love my late dogs and only give them turkey on thanksgiving and Christmas. OP really going to ruin that dog
Story 2: I know!!! It drives me up a wall seeing this. My dog never begged for food till my parents and my friends started giving him table scraps. I always tell them not to and stopped them but it always went in one ear and out the other. It’s so frustrating!
(My dog is a corgi, sadly they tend to be little gluttons and weight control is a must! So then doing this and giving him extra food drives me angry because it’s makes him put on unnecessary weight and gives him an upset stomach)
1 That's completely different. she did chose to do hurt herself. 2 your comparison is dumb. you- you would force food down a kids mouth. Just ignore them choking and fighting back.
@@k70freeman So you claim. Spoken like a true contrarian who would rather be the kids "friend" instead of actually teaching them.
@@Digitalfairy there a point where is plain stupidity. You know an action will unnecessary hurt you. but you still do it you still do it. Then you parented it's okay (I.E not in pain) consequences for your actions and choices.
This has got "Flowers in the Attic" vibes
Story 1: Tell the dad that he can just throw your pictures away and not talk about you anymore and he'll get over it soon enough.
Story 2: She doesn't want a dog, so anything OP/the dog did would be annoying to her. OP may have been annoying with his teasing, but I can't stand people who interrupt discipline and then say you aren't doing your job with the dog. Like, do you not realize that multiple people trying to give discipline is confusing? If it's not your dog, shut up for a sec. And if the dog begging is such an annoyance, eat at the table and establish the dining room as off-limits, it's not hard.
Last Story: I don't call my mom often, but our group chat is consistent and when I do call her the convo lasts like 4 hours lol. Roomies can't say "everyone's relationship is different so don't judge" and still be mad at OP lol.
First story : OP is so not the AH because their father didn't allow either of his son's a chance to properly grieve their mother as it was inconvenient to him. The fact that he so easily moved on and tried to erase his first wife is a clear red flag he doesn't really care about anyone but himself. The stepmom is no peach either as she jealously tried to replace OP mother and expected her children to see OP's dad as a replacement to their father. He is another idiot parent who thinks therapy is supposed to " fix " the nonconforming first children to go along with his new happy family narrative but that's not how it works . He is the selfish one who forced and guilted his first children to do what ever was best for him and never thought about their wants or needs at all. OP would be better off going NC with him and let him have his new family.
Living with Pain- Child or Adult, the more you deal with the pain, the stronger you become. You learn how to cope and deal with pain. Pain is NOT the enemy; it tells you everything you need to know, but you must be patient and tenacious, to listen.
OP was RIGHT to let him daughter suffer in slience after pushing her body's boundaries. She MUST learn these things if she is going to survive on her own as an adult. Comforting, IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST THING. IT REMINDS YOU THAT OTHERS AREN'T IN AS MUCH PAIN AS YOU, AND SYMPATHY CAN MAKE THINGS FEEL MUCH WORSE. That is when the pain gets in to your brain and screws up how you think.
RESERVE YOUR COMFORT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE PAIN, FOR THOSE TIMES WHEN IT IS OBVIOUS THEY ARE ON THE EDGE OF THIER NORMAL TOLERANCE. THEN SIMPLY STEP IN AND DO THE CHORE THEY NEED MOST: USUALLY FOOD OR CLEANING UP. As one who has had to live in agonizing pain, FOR MANY years. There were times when I had to choose: do I eat or do I clean up. Well, cleaning up the dishes doesn't help one survive. I get more comfort from a simple meal or cleaning up, when I cannot.
Story 2: I hate to break it to the op, but begging, giving the dog table scraps, and the dog sleeping on the bed are all pretty bad behaviors, let alone combined… OP is dense…
He literally went ‘whatever’ when his FIANCÉE LEFT HIM. What a manchild! Good on Jen
I have cats. Yes, I let them sleep with me. Yes, I talk baby talk to them. BUT I establish boundaries with them too. I don't allow them in the kitchen when I cook. It's a safety hazard. I don't give then scraps from my plate. I use both garlic and onion in a lot of my foods, both dangerous to cats, and I pay for a high value cat food to keep them happy and healthy. OP was not doing the dog any favors. I don't blame the girlfriend for walking out.
If you have to exclude others to be inclusive then there is a problem. Why does it matter more what the others want and not what the kids want?
Dog one: I’m a dog lover. There are two rules that I will adamantly enforce. No animals in the kitchen. It is literally unhygienic and unsanitary. And no feeding table scraps because it does in fact, help with begging .
You both need to see other people.
Exactly it’s the same with dogs and children- it’s your job to teach them how to behave and get along in society. The thing isn’t just annoying/upsetting for those around you but it also harms the actual dog/child since ultimately no-one will want to interact with them if they always behave obnoxiously.
Last story. OP NTA. I think your relationship with your mom is nice. she talked about your relationship with your mom and you only commented on her relationship with hers. Which was fair game. If they expect you to respect her relationship with her parents, she needs to respect your relationship with yours.
Monster mother. Poor daughter wanted to play when she obviously missing out on so much on life.
St.2 get rid of thegirlfriend
You never wanted dad to be unhappy you just wanted him to listen. He was selfish and cruel. I'm glad op is escaping and hope brother can come too.
Early club! Love your stories!
I live with my mom, taking care of her and the house, and even before my dad passed, my brother would call her everyday. He lives in a capital city, (US) with a 2 hour commute. He calls my mom or me, if her phone dies, to save the lives of every person around him as well as himself from a stroke. He keeps his temper down and the cussing to the minimum with her so he doesn’t get crazier from idiot drivers who act like they’re the only cars on the road! When you talk with ppl while doing a boring or unpleasant task, time goes faster! You’re not thinking of idiot ppl, the long, uphill walk, the dog that barks and makes you jump & your heart race when you pass that one house…and moms are often the voice of reason and sanity-who wouldn’t want to talk to someone like that?!
OP NTA Bruno is being inappropriate. You need to tell him your uncomfortable with his advances and what your boundaries are. It doesn't matter if he is gay or straight you don't like him hitting on you and don't feel comfortable with him kissing you. Your wife or is it your sister is YTA for acting like it is just fun and jokes when it isn't
Story 4
I have arthritis and not just one form ,so I understand your daughter she wants to enjoy some good fun ,if we pay for are actions fun is virtual for life
I am so sick of people disregarding men feeling uncomfortable by the Inappropriate and unwarranted advances of someone (male or female). Why do straight men have to just tolerate being harrassed?!?! If he was anything but a straight male, people would have his back to the dawn of time.
Can someone post the link to the first story
Nice video
Wow!!! OP sure expects quite a bit from his kids. They went about this in the wrong way. Your dad is a manipulator and incredibly selfish. Dad will have a shocked Pikachu face when neither of his boys ever come around again. He is going to have to suck it up and just depend on his very much more special new kids and controlling wife. So sorry OP. Hopefully your brother gets away soon
Just because you’re gay doesn’t give you a pass for being a sexual harasser.
Basically telling ANY woman if they were single you would jump them would be inappropriate. Your basically asking them if they are open to an affair. It’s probably the same with Bruno.
Story 4: ok I get a lot of it but you are completely capable of supporting her even if she is wrong. Celebrate she had a moment of joy.
She was warned, she ignored. Actions, meet consequences
Story #2: Keep the dog and get rid of Jen!! To the ahole that think dogs are just animals, they have more emotions and intelligence than you!!
I hope the son, sent the post to his biological father. He stopped being a dad when he remarried.
OP and Brother should tell Dad and Wife to burn in He!!. Brother should run away to Grandparents and make Dad pay Support. If brother is a minor arson could become a hobby to get his point across.
6:46 first of all, I very much dislike how this person views dogs, they are not you’re inferior. Now, I don’t like enabling with dog or people
Agree on both points
I'm over 50 and I still am in contact daily with my mum. They should not have started something if they didn't want you to comment in kind.