exactly so Sam scored one goal her dad should be saying I'm PROUD of you not you only scored one goal you need to do better if I was SAM I would have yelled " WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FEILD HOCKEY BRIAN YOU WERENT EVEN THERE IN FACT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE THERE FOR ME WAS WHEN I WAS FOUR SINCE THAT DAY YOU'VE BEEN A GHOST AND A BLIP ON MY RAIDAR"
Story 1: NTA. I don’t appreciate how they raised their dead beat Son! Hun, take him to court for the back child payments. I don’t care if you have a good job, make it her college fund or her first house fund. He has had it too easy for too long.
I'd seriously consider divorce in story 2. If OPs wife can't see the problem with her 'best friend' and downplays what she's doing then she isn't worth being with...hell I'd be getting the papers same day wifey told OP she's making the friend godmother of your kid....screw them both. NTA
Ask the wife how she'd feel if the tables were turned and a friend of yours kept suggesting a new side piece when he came over to visit. Would she be OK with being talked to like that? Maybe wife is honestly this dense or some people-pleaser, but that is completely disrespectful in any circumstance. At some level, I don't think OP wants to handle the gorilla in the room and wants to do what's necessary to handle the respect issue in order to keep the wife "that's out of his league".
I’ll never understand why do ex-husbands in the first story always throw a temper tantrum and called out on his bad behavior but has no problem belittling his old spouse. And it’s almost amazing why doesn’t the parents call out his deadbeat behavior instead of complaining about the ex wife just flat out telling the truth. And yes she should get child support from that deadbeat otherwise what will be a lesson teaching to your daughter that deadbeat fathers can do whatever the hell they want.
Because if they did, that would mean they'd have to accept they did a shit job of raising him. I don't think any parent can be counted as a decent parent if they don't make their kid accept responsibility and consequences, especially if they're a grown-ass man.
@@josephmckee3605 it happened to me, my so called bff was trying this all the time, behandling my back.. it was horrible.. she didn't know that my husband isn't like other guys, just better, that's why I married him.. 21yrs soon married.. just an amazing man i've got..
If ever there was a time for the claws to come out, it would be this time. If I'd been OP, I would've said to the ex, "Well, at least she's on her way to becoming a pro athlete. What worthwhile contribution have you made to the universe lately?" I don't even have kids and never will, but this story makes my blood boil and my heart breaks for poor Sam. Also, FYI: No matter how good someone's income might be, they're still supposed to receive child support. And don't ask them to send it; DEMAND that they send it or else you'll see them in court. You can't just let matters like child support go.
Story 1: Time for the daughter to take some snarkiness classes. Because every teenage girl I knew would've snapped back with "how man goals did you score out there today dad?" Time for that dead beat to bury the relationship he let die and move on.
I think she was just overwhelmed at the moment. I had a grandparent a lot like that dad. And whenever I did something they were always there going "why didn't you do BETTER?" it's possible the daughter just got struck by a feeling of "why don't you ever care? Why don't you ever think I did something good?"
Sadly, when you have a family member especially that has this type of attitude, it breeds self doubt and a lack of self worth. When will people remember that words do matter. We build them up or break them down with words. There is a way to provide feedback, instruction, correction or guidance without crushing them.
Story 2 : Personally I'd call the wife on it being a bluff. "If it's just a joke, then text her now and ask for that dude's number. If Jess is just joking, then she'll immediately cut the joke and tell you off"
It should be a hill to die on moment for OP. Tell the wife Jess is permanently out of the picture or after their child is born you will become distant with the wife and the moment Jess talks her into cheating on him, you will file for divorce and go for full custody. Then she can go and be the same whore that Jess is. Also remind the beauty Queen wife looks don’t last. She will age once the big 40 is looming in front of her. In fact the hot ones, when young, seem to age faster than the late bloomers. Re the update: I wouldn’t believe the apology from Jess. She still sounds conniving.
Story 2: NTA. She may have been the “Cream of the crop” in Highschool, but she’s straight up trash right now! You have a “Jessica” AND a “Wife” problem. If my friend encouraged me to cheat on my partner you bet your sweet bippy she’d be out of my house.
Story 2 Update: Hun, this is straight up BS. I grew up with “Negative Endearment” (I don’t know if that’s the right word for this sort of thing) and you DO NOT encourage stuff as serious as infidelity as a joke, especially if the other party isn’t receptive to the “Joke”. She can be the runner up God Mother but she needs to work for anything more than “Unpleasantly civil”. Have some respect for yourself.
@@johnbradbury8610 he accepted but didn't believe her. He's still against her and said they aren't friends. He also told his wife she won't be GM, he's not hopeless, he's just tired of her
Story #2: NTA!! YOU DESERVE BETTER!! If I were you and the first time she tried this crap, more than her feelings would have been hurt. Your wife is a piece of crap because she doesn't put her foot down with her. She's bitter and she's going to be even more bitter when your child is born. But you should have put your foot down when she started to disrespect you in YOUR OWN HOUSE!! Cut the cancer called Jess before it consumes your marriage.
Story 2: So...what Op said was cruel but not Jess's years of insult and active attempts of trying to get the wife to cheat? Op's wife should've been the one who shut that behavior down ages ago, not Op. He needs to have a serious conversation with her because despite all of this, Jess still didn't face any real consequences. Why is she making Jess godmother if she's been disrespecting their marriage?
Jess is actively encouraging OP's wife to cheat. If this isn't stopped now she probably will. Either because she is swayed by her "bestie" or she believes the lie she is out of his League. I HATE that term by the way.
Anybody else feel that OP's wife's friend is saying some of these things bc OP'S wife is always speaking trash about him? Maybe that's why the wife never sticks up for him. It was the "She called me in a panic..." that got to me. OP"s wife probably called her and said about making up something to cover for her. OP has a wife problem.
Story 1: OP is definitely NTA, but I would like to add a note about Sam 'only' scoring 1 goal: Most field hockey games have scores of 3 - 1 or similar low numbers. Scoring even one goal is a major achievement. You're doing great, Sam!
Story 3: NTA. Your right, she is a bully! I have a complicated name, you don’t hear me disowning people and saying I hope they never know my baby for mispronouncing my name. I hope she has more patience for her child, otherwise she’s going to be disowned the second they say Pa•sked•dee.
@johnbradbury8610 my question exactly, post like this are always so crazy to hear. "I got my sister's ex arrested for abusing her but now he's saying I ruined his life and got him fired from his four-figure job, AITA?" Like, huh???
Final Story: NTA. I get where he’s coming from, at his age being in the same car as your Dad can be humiliating. That being said though you went there to do this and he needs to learn anyway. He can deal with the humiliation of Growing bigger and needing hygiene products.
Needing to buy deodorant and underpants is embarrassing? Good grief, anyone would think Luke was the sons crush (could well be but I'm not going to assume). Teens get so weird about stuff and wanting to impress certain people. Op is nta and son needs to learn that when dad says "time to go get the things you needed" he means it, any further elaboration will result in details being shared you might not want folks to hear.
Story 2: This man has the backbone of a snail. There is no helping him if he can sit there and still believe that an apology after 10 years means that she "didn't mean for it to be taken seriously."
That last comment on the first story really confuses me. I did not get the impression that OP wasn’t going to help her child get the child support at 18 but that she was going to let her make her own adult decision with all the necessary information and then will help with the legal process. Honestly I think OP is doing the right thing there since she doesn’t need the support herself. A lot of reddits have their hearts in the right place but they don’t understand what it’s like being the kid when your parents are having it out over money. That no good father would start using the court decisions to guilt his minor child into things like forgiving him when it suits him and saying nice things about him to the grandparents. It’s hell when your deadbeat thinks his court ordered child payment entitled him to attention and love, so yes OP should definitely wait for her child to grow up, get her opinion, and then wield that opinion with an iron fist.
No, OP is making a lot of legal assumptions about her exes financial situation. She's trying to do the " we don't need his help, I earn enough", when all she need to do is place a simple child support application now, rather than make her daughter jump through hoops later. The commenter was right, she is being lazy.
@@philwill0123 you and the commenter are making the assumption that she’s going to make her daughter do all the legal things alone when I don’t believe we had enough information to make that assumption. Seemed to me that OP planned to do the legal stuff with her daughters permission when she becomes an adult. So I stick by what I said.
@@The_dandy_zombie Yet you're making the assumption that the laws are how OP thinks it is. Most laws, especially in the US, tend to say that if child support isn't given by 18 and the child goes for it, then it's forfeit
@@lovelysakurapetalsyt the OP literally talked about a specific time period of 18-25 where in some states an adult child can still be considered a dependent if they are going to collage and living with a parent and/or living off said parent. It’s not an assumption that the OP has looked into the laws in her state, it’s an inference.
SHE'D NEVER DISRESPECT THEIR MARRIAGE???... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Whew... I mean irl I am in absolute pain rn but dang that laugh almost killed me... I slept on my side wrong so like half my body is cramped... When you wake up like origami ya know it will be a pain to move
Getting back dated child support is actually easier than you think. Go to what ever child support agency in your area and explain that he hasn’t paid child support in however many years it’s been. They’ll take care of it
Story 1: Mom seriously had the idea to have her daughter ,who is already going to be hurt and traumatized by her father not wanting to be in her life, then sue her father when she becomes an adult instead of just being an adult herself and making him pay now what!?!? Story 2: Aww she can talk shit but not take the truth. Wife is awful for letting this happen. Poor OP has been manipulated for so long. But she seriously is going with. I just didn’t know it was a problem thank God she didn’t actually go into medicine, being that vile and/or that oblivious
S2 NTA your wife didn't settle for you, Jesse is not a good person period. You spoke the truth, and it's high time your wife is put in her place. YOU DESERVE BETTER JESSE IS A HOMEWRECKER. YOUR WIFE DOESN'T LOVE YOU AT ALL. JESSE NEEDS TO HEAR THIS " PHYSICIAN HEAL THYSELF".
When are idiots who have kids going to start comprehending that child support isn't 'optional' lmao. You having a good job is completely irrelevant. It's about them BEING ACCOUNTABLE and CONTRIBUTING to the human being they helped create.
I know women who stupidly refused to apply for child support because they think it implies "control". No, if he doesn't want the role of dad, he still has to pay
*_Story #2 :_* I call BS on Jess’s explanation. She said that she “tells his wife she would steal OP from her”. Funny that she’s never said that in front of OP. But her constant insults about OP are in front of his wife all the time… If she actually was like that with the wife, OP would have heard that “joke” at least once, no?… That’s just some bad excuse she made up after being called out, to try and make it look like she isn’t the terrible person that she actually is.
2nd story: OP's relationship isn't as good as he thinks when his wife doesn't object about Jess diminishing him, and trying to give her other men's numbers. I bet wife would be furious if OP's best friend tried to give him other women's numbers.
Story 1: NTA. How could OP’s former in-laws scold OP after witnessing their son’s bad behavior towards their granddaughter? With parents like this, no wonder this guy turned out to be an AH😠 Story 2: OP’s wife should end this so called friendship with this toxic person. Can you imagine how OP’s kids will view their dad when hearing this friend talking badly about him? Yeah, she apologized but that’s probably because she doesn’t want to let go of her victims😒 Story 3: You got to call them as you see them. Kate is a bully. OP and her sister should just ghost this awful sister 😢 Story 4: OP, you messed up on this one. It’s important to keep not to embarrass your kid in front of their friends 🙁
Kate just ticked off cause shes not getting all the attention!!! so WHAT if folks have a speech issue? it doesnt mean you can be an utter AH to your family!!!! /: Kate the AH!!!
Poor Amy, I feel so bad for her. Glad OP finally stood up for her. Kate and the parents are The AHs for letting this go on so long. As someone who had a speech impediment as a kid and stuttered, I went to speech therapy and luckily for me it’s worked about 99% and these days most people don’t know. It’s very rare for my mouth to not work though it happens on occasion and I still have a few problem words I avoid but it would have been so hard for me if I had a sibling that bullied me for it. Hope Amy stops letting Kate get to her although I know that can be hard.
Story 2: her being a godmother, in the religious sense, you know only in the eyes of the church, is irrelevant. Because if one of the spouses passed away, the children would immediately stay with the surviving spouse. If both parents passed away, the minor children would be given to whoever you name as guardian, and backup guardian, and backup Guardian to that, in your Will. So get started on that. You don't need to be old and dying to create one. I made one when I was in my twenties mostly because I worked for a law office but still. If your wife wants to name that friend as backup guardian, you don't have to. Your Will could be completely different from hers.
Yeah I wouldn't want Jesse to be my children's godmom. If Jesse can't treat OP with respect why should he think she would be respectful of his kids. The things Jesse says aren't funny or jokes and harmful to self esteem. If this is how Jesse treats OP, I doubt she will be treating his children kindly either. Again why are friends with her when she does this?
Story 1: I agree with the last commenter about the child support. Additionally, getting it now and putting it in an account it can start accumulating interest which will leave the daughter with more savings than she would have otherwise gotten.
This is a bad idea, going to court now over back child support can and will turn into a custody dispute or enforcement of the already discussed parenting plan! This kid is 14 she's pliable like mom said, dad buys gifts she pardons him, he might and will use this to his advantage, I've seen bad parents buy their kids affection and consequently; I want to go live with insert parent! It's infinetly better to wait, also depending on your state interest can be added to arrears!
Story two - OP, 😂😂😂😂😂😂 That was a great comeback !!! OP, not even close to being an idiot, Jess is a garbage human, stop being nice to her, and if your wife can’t support you against her then get a divorce because that kind of abuse never should have been tolerated !!!
Story 2: So basically Jess jokesd because she thought she and OP were the vitrolic best buds and thought they were close enough that he wouldn’t actually take offense to any of those jokes… uh huh. we’ll see. At minimum Jess is as dense as a brick and completely lacking in social skills, and judging by what she looks for in men is probably pretty shallow too.
Last story - OP sounded like every mum who tries to get their kids suited and booted the week before school starts. I'm sure every kid has been embarrassed by their parent at some point. Just talk about it as if it's normal everyday life and nothing to get embarrassed about.( Which it is). Or you could be pure evil and take him into the female hygiene isle 🤣🤣
I love how the oldest sister has been bullying her disabled sister for years…but then is all “shocked pikachu face” when Op calls her a bully… Op you’re NTA but im sooo sorry for your younger sister, why didn’t your parents ever do anything to help?
I've known people like Jess before. The wife staying friends with her could be for various reasons, i would make therapy an ultimatum, to find out why she's putting up with someone so toxic in her life threatening her relationship
Syory 2: Jess is full of it. She is a miserable person who wants to make everybody else miserable. Some women thrive on destroying happy marriages. If the wife really loves OP, she will ditch Jess, otherwise she will eventually cheat on and divorce OP.
Story 1: I'm sorry, but OP's plan to drain deadbeat dad dry is genius. Let him think he's safe then hit him all at once for the backdated payments. Yes Sam will probably have to take time out to take part in the legal proceedings, but honestly it might be woth it just to fleece his ass.
Story 2.. OP’s come back was perfect! Jess is actually jealous of their relationship..that was obvious.. Story 3..Kate is a bully…Amy probably hears the words differently than other people.. the way she pronounces is how she hears them.. some people can’t hear vowel sounds.. I know someone like that.. Story 4.. Some of these people comments are ridiculous..
Story 1. Nta all the way but op 1000% needs to leagly go after that dead beat for child support. It's not about her being able to support her daughter on her own or not it's money her child deserves as she didn't ask to be born and it is the least the dead beat can do
OP NTA. What the heck is wrong with your wife? If op's wife really loved him, she would have shut down Jesse's disrespectful talk long time ago. Don't really blame OP for saying what he did but they really to go LC with Jesse til she can respect OP and his wife's relationship.
Did no one catch the part about the dad saying his 10 year old son showered with his friend? WTF is that about, I hope he's talking about after gym class. At my school we didn't take showers until we were around 15
OP is nta, but your wife is the big AH here. She has let her friend not only disrespect you as a husband but also her marriage and even herself, I would be offended if my friend acted this way implying that I would be capable of cheating on my marriage. OP needs to ignore Jess but have a serious talk with his wife.
If it were me I’d have told them be happy you only got a scene and not a broadway musical. I don’t have kids, but I would have cussed him and them out. Him for being a deadbeat, them for raising him.
Parent with the smelly kid.. should be glad dad didn’t tell him he needs to buy deodorant and shower gel because he smells like a goat… but probably his friend already knows
Story about the best friend Jess clearly reveals that Jess is jealous of the stability of her friend's relationship. She is cruel because she wants her friend's life with a dependable husband.
OP's wife's BF only just learned that he will no longer stand by while she belittles him so she will not just do it when he isn't around and she will be relentless. My prediction OP gets cheated on and possibly end up with another man's kid without him knowing.
Last Story: Got to love when a bully calls people who stand up for their victim a Bully. Of course NTA. Kate is insane, people with speech impediments don't always grow out of them, especially when there is a bully in their life actively harassing them (AKA Kate).
If the truth hurts, then sometimes it needs to be said. Those that don’t like it, know that it is the truth and know that it reflects badly upon them. Then they try to double down on what they have said and try to shame those calling them out. Don’t allow it. Speak loud and clear, telling them what an awful individual they are.
S1 NTA your ex-husband became a deadbeat dad, this has consequences. Your daughter is smart and will see you this. Now he's pissed the truth comes out NTA in anyway shape or form. Get her the back dated child support now so she has it for college and more. When she turned 18 it will be her choice if she wants a relationship with her father but I doubt that will happen. You have been a wonderful parent till now don't drop the ball.
Story 1: OP is AH for not going after child support, it's something that belongs to her daughter and just because mother can manage isn't a reason to take it from her daughter. I guess she is afraid that he then wants shared custody but that's another issue. She says Sam can go for money when she is 18, or in case he is dead get money from estate, but what if he passes away and is in debt? As a mother she should fight in court, not leave it to a teenager.
Second-story even with the update you're doing this to keep the peace. You know and I know just doesn't like you and she will continue this behavior on and on until you finally say I don't want her in my life I don't want her not kid's life. Your wife knows this but your wife I honestly feel like it's so afraid of losing her friendship with Jess that she basically call her and say hey I think you need to be experienced your him that what you did was wrong but it was a joke. You need to have a serious conversation with your wife and tell her how this makes you feel and tell her if this doesn't stop you will file for divorce. You're not in the wrong here but you got to grow a spine now
Even if the daughter is just a regular ordinary kid with no special talent, the father should still show up and do the best he couls as a parent. It's more hurtful that this is an actual accomplishment that would get her a national/international spot, yet the dad found some excuse to put her down. The very least he could do is show up and cheer for her sincerely! What a pos. If (when) the daughter wins something big or gets rich off off being an athlete, I bet this guy would show up to hloat or ask money.
Story 2- OP, tell Jess that every time she opens her mouth about your marriage, you will slap her across the face just as hard as you can. She will either stop or one of her eyes will pop out. Either way, it's done. Maybe your wife could have done better, but, she CHOSE you!
Story #1 NTA. OP said what was true, and if the ex-in-laws are more upset about her "making a scene" than their son's behavior then they're worthless too. I do hope OP's daughter goes no-contact with her sperm donor when she turns 18. But OP still should sue for child support backpay. Story #2 ESH. OP is a spineless coward. If he had any sense of self-worth he wouldn't have spent so many years putting up with these attacks on his marriage. He's an AH to himself. If his wife loved him even a little bit she wouldn't have either. The first time Jess offered to facilitate an affair, OP would have been justified in giving his wife an ultimatum; no-contact with her, or divorce. Story #3 NTA. Kate really is an ableist bully, and frankly I hope her child doesn't have a speech impediment because Kate would abuse her for it. Frankly, OP and Amy should both go no-contact with Kate. Story #4 YTA. The moment OP crossed the line was when he laughed. He didn't know his son was embarrassed about pretty normal things that everybody needs, but when he found out he should have had a little sensitivity.
Story 1: "She only scored 1 goal." Do you know why the whole "GOOOOOOOOOAL!" cheer became a thing? Because scoring is _SO_ rare in soccer that when somebody finally does, it seems like a goddamn miracle. The fundamental flaw with the sport (and I say this as someone who played it for 7 years as a kid) is that there's too much defense on both sides... or not enough offense, depending on how you look at it. The game is inadvertently set up so that it's _REALLY_ hard to score, despite how big the goal is. Professional games often end in 0 - 0 ties, where one team only moves up because they're ranked higher. But even if Brian had 0 clue about any of this (which I'm sure is the case) he could've just given her an empty "Good job." Hell, even saying absolutely nothing would've been worlds better than openly belittling her legitimately big moment. He deserved so much worse than the embarrassment he brought upon himself.
Story 1 When do you think children are disposable things that can eat fresh air no for year's he owes twelve years of child support his a disgrace and he has absolutely no right to critique your daughter I think you should sue him for the child support towards her college fund
Yea she shouldn't have continued the ecene the deadbeat started, but everyone has a boiling point. Also on the crap friend one the wife is either already cheated or currently cheating, why else would shenbe alright with how Jess acts.
Kate IS a bully. She knows Amy can't help this. How awful she and your parents are to allow this...and you should have spoken out sooner. Kate should be ignored by the family. Not poor Amy. And Amy could have further speech therapy. If she wanted.
Now Kate is trying to gaslight you. Oh I would never call you a bully. So what. Kates still a bully. And Aimee is a much nicer way to say Amy. It means I love. And has anyone bothered to check Amy’s hearing. Usually in female children when their pronunciation are off it could be that she can’t hear in all ranges. And stress from Kate probably isn’t helping Amy
Story 3 Really sounds like Amy could be slightly deaf. At the very least deaf to to certain pitches. Like imagine trying to pronounce certain words when you can only hear part of it, of course it's not going to come out correct. The only thing that makes me doubt it is that she had speech therapy for so long and I would imagine someone there would maybe think about that as a possibility.
Story 1 - OP NTA - This falls under the category of THEY can handle the truth and that is THEIR problem and not yours. That was a good mother telling her deadbeat AH of an ex what kind of "parent" he really is. That was the straw the broke the camel's back. You've been holding your tongue and your ex belittling your daughter's accomplishment was NOT okay. Just because he donated the sperm to create your daughter doesn't give him the right to put your daughter's accomplishments down. It is time that that you have a talk with your ex in-laws and tell them the truth about ther "pride and joy". Keep that AH away from your daughter. He brings nothing but pain to your daughter. Disgusting! Story 2 - OP NTA - OP time to have a serious talk with "out of your league" wife. She is your wife therefore you should be her first priority and not some woman that is pretending to be her friend. Her apology is as sincere as her friendship with your wife. LMAO She is who she is and she is NOT going to change to keep you and your "out of your league" wife. Toxic and miserable people don't change in one day. She just told you what you wanted to hear and it seems that you ate it all. If you don't have a serious talk with your wife and make her understand that this woman is NOT really her friend maybe it is time for you to get couples therapy and have the professional do so. If you guys keep having this woman around there will be more situations like this one coming your way. She is miserable because her life is NOT what she wanted it to be and she blames the rest of the world for it instead of accepting that HER poor life choices are what made her hopes and dreams destroyed them. It is everybody's fault but her own and since your wife is her closest "friend" she will always be the receiving one of her missery. Story 3 - OP NTA/YTA - NTA for finally defending your younger sister but YTA but doing nothing over the years to defend your younger sister for years. It is disgusting that your older sister has resentment toward your other sister for something that she has NO control over it. I hope that from now on you see your AH of a sister for what she really is... a massive disgusting bully. Also, your AHs of a parent are as bad as your oldest sister if they have allowed this kind of BS to take root and have done nothing to stop it. YUCK, you all suck except poor Amy that had the misfortune to be born into a family of AHs. Story 4 - OP all you needed to tell your son is that he got his 25 minutes and that you had other things to do, period. As for him being "embarrassed", well kids get embarrassed by almost everything. What else is new? Oh the horror... deodorant, body wash, underwear...oh no, how dare you dad? Seriously? Give me a break.
Story 1: OP never said shes going to makre their kid do the legal stuff alone though? Also id be petty enough to pull this shit on a deadbeat dad myself.
Story 1 NTA I'd be telling all parties involved that I'm sorry if you felt embarrassed but I will NEVER sit quietly while ANYONE insults my daughter and if you expect me to then maybe I should rethink your involvement in my Childs life because anyone who would sit idly by while her father insults her clearly does not have her best interest in mind.
Busy body BFF: YTA, for allowing your friend to talk trash about your marriage like that. I beat the hell out of my brother when he threatened my husband. I tore my in-laws apart and threatened to cut them when they talked trash about my kids. One of my BFF would make comments about sleeping with my brother. At the time my brother was dating my other BFF (they don't like each other) I told her if she makes another comment like that, I'm cutting her out of my life. He's in a relationship and she's also my BFF. But I'm crazy like that and I adore my family. My bio family is amazing and tight nit. Messing with them brings out rage. Yes, I was in therapy. I'm a lot better now that I cut my in-laws out and my BFF apologized and said she would never sleep with him.
@@Spgzay sorry hun, I'm not sure which order they were in. It's the one where the OP, his wife and friend were making fun of him saying she can do better... apparently so can all the guys that slept with the friend.
Jess is scum but your wife is the problem allowing this so called friend to treat you that way. You don’t owe this woman an apology. Sounds like she’s jealous of your relationship.
Story 1: she's more successful than he is and she's half his age, he probably put her down because of jealousy, usually deadbeat try the bank on their children success. They're probably just mad because publicly called out your deadbeat ex in front of their friends who didn't know about how little he truly does for his daughter. Maybe it shouldn't have been in front of the dinner table and around all those people but you are defending your daughter from a piece of human garbage so I think everyone can let it slide, besides you weren't the one that started this fight but you sure as hell finished it.
Oh we all know the son seems interested in his friend... Ofc it's embarrassment but we all know which kind based on the situation... Soon as the friend laughed he bailed with his dad and said goodbye 🤣 Even if it's not a full blown crush kid is giving off signals
I hope that no one watching this takes the summaries of the child's legal rights to recover back child support (3:00 - 3:00) after turning 18 as a plan for legal action, because it's almost all nonsense. In most all jurisdictions, delinquent child support is owed to the custodial parent. That continues after the child reaches adult status. In many jurisdictions, once the child becomes an adult, the character of the unpaid, pre-adult support debt changes from "child support" to "money claim" and becomes subject to discharge in bankruptcy as well. Good going, numbnuts.
Story one: Totally disagree with the last commenter. OP is leaving it up to her daughter on how to deal with her deadbeat father. If her daughter goes for the money I'm sure OP will give any and all assistance and if she doesn't want to then OP will have her daughter well taken care of. Either way OP has been doing the damn thing caring for her child and nothing says your contribution is worthless than only going after the man because you want to not because you have to.
Story 1: if they don't want you to attack him in a restaurant then he should learn not to attack his child in a restaurant.
exactly so Sam scored one goal her dad should be saying I'm PROUD of you not you only scored one goal you need to do better if I was SAM I would have yelled " WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FEILD HOCKEY BRIAN YOU WERENT EVEN THERE IN FACT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE THERE FOR ME WAS WHEN I WAS FOUR SINCE THAT DAY YOU'VE BEEN A GHOST AND A BLIP ON MY RAIDAR"
Jess: I would have noped out of that relationship the second my wife remained friends with someone who encouraged her to cheat even once.
Story 1: NTA. I don’t appreciate how they raised their dead beat Son! Hun, take him to court for the back child payments. I don’t care if you have a good job, make it her college fund or her first house fund. He has had it too easy for too long.
I'd seriously consider divorce in story 2. If OPs wife can't see the problem with her 'best friend' and downplays what she's doing then she isn't worth being with...hell I'd be getting the papers same day wifey told OP she's making the friend godmother of your kid....screw them both. NTA
Well said.
Very true!!
Ask the wife how she'd feel if the tables were turned and a friend of yours kept suggesting a new side piece when he came over to visit. Would she be OK with being talked to like that? Maybe wife is honestly this dense or some people-pleaser, but that is completely disrespectful in any circumstance.
At some level, I don't think OP wants to handle the gorilla in the room and wants to do what's necessary to handle the respect issue in order to keep the wife "that's out of his league".
OP won't because he is a simp. He should also get a DNA test. OP deserves this marriage.
I’ll never understand why do ex-husbands in the first story always throw a temper tantrum and called out on his bad behavior but has no problem belittling his old spouse. And it’s almost amazing why doesn’t the parents call out his deadbeat behavior instead of complaining about the ex wife just flat out telling the truth.
And yes she should get child support from that deadbeat otherwise what will be a lesson teaching to your daughter that deadbeat fathers can do whatever the hell they want.
Because if they did, that would mean they'd have to accept they did a shit job of raising him. I don't think any parent can be counted as a decent parent if they don't make their kid accept responsibility and consequences, especially if they're a grown-ass man.
Your wife keeps her friend around cause her friend knows all her secrets but doormats will doormat so it's not surprising.
Exactly. I wonder what dirt Jess has on the wife. I'd be straight up nasty to her.
Update for Story 2: “She frequently told my wife that she’d steal me from her.”
*OH, THERE IT IS! RIGHT THERE!*
I don't think she was serious, I think its much more likely she'd love for her friend to be single because she is too.
@@darkmask5933 nah, friends don't do that.
Jesse is jealous that her bff has a good man and stable relationship and that's why she was trying to break them up for years
@@streamerssaymynamesadly, some do.
@@josephmckee3605 it happened to me, my so called bff was trying this all the time, behandling my back.. it was horrible.. she didn't know that my husband isn't like other guys, just better, that's why I married him.. 21yrs soon married.. just an amazing man i've got..
If ever there was a time for the claws to come out, it would be this time. If I'd been OP, I would've said to the ex, "Well, at least she's on her way to becoming a pro athlete. What worthwhile contribution have you made to the universe lately?" I don't even have kids and never will, but this story makes my blood boil and my heart breaks for poor Sam. Also, FYI: No matter how good someone's income might be, they're still supposed to receive child support. And don't ask them to send it; DEMAND that they send it or else you'll see them in court. You can't just let matters like child support go.
Yes but in this case it is smart cause daughter with 18 years get a bigger amount than mum now..
OP is an idiot for 2nd guessing herself because Brian/parents left some mean messages. She should worry about her daughter.
Story 1: Time for the daughter to take some snarkiness classes. Because every teenage girl I knew would've snapped back with "how man goals did you score out there today dad?" Time for that dead beat to bury the relationship he let die and move on.
I think she was just overwhelmed at the moment. I had a grandparent a lot like that dad. And whenever I did something they were always there going "why didn't you do BETTER?" it's possible the daughter just got struck by a feeling of "why don't you ever care? Why don't you ever think I did something good?"
Sadly, when you have a family member especially that has this type of attitude, it breeds self doubt and a lack of self worth. When will people remember that words do matter. We build them up or break them down with words. There is a way to provide feedback, instruction, correction or guidance without crushing them.
Story 2 : Personally I'd call the wife on it being a bluff. "If it's just a joke, then text her now and ask for that dude's number. If Jess is just joking, then she'll immediately cut the joke and tell you off"
Wife should've kicked Jess to the curb the moment she encouraged cheating.
If she cared about OP even a little bit she would have.
It should be a hill to die on moment for OP. Tell the wife Jess is permanently out of the picture or after their child is born you will become distant with the wife and the moment Jess talks her into cheating on him, you will file for divorce and go for full custody. Then she can go and be the same whore that Jess is. Also remind the beauty Queen wife looks don’t last. She will age once the big 40 is looming in front of her. In fact the hot ones, when young, seem to age faster than the late bloomers.
Re the update: I wouldn’t believe the apology from Jess. She still sounds conniving.
Jess is absolutely absurd, rude and impolite. The wife is TAH for not shutting her down LONG AGO!
Yes, but op is also worthless garbage.
And OP is a worthless doormat.
Story 2: NTA. She may have been the “Cream of the crop” in Highschool, but she’s straight up trash right now! You have a “Jessica” AND a “Wife” problem. If my friend encouraged me to cheat on my partner you bet your sweet bippy she’d be out of my house.
Story 2 Update: Hun, this is straight up BS. I grew up with “Negative Endearment” (I don’t know if that’s the right word for this sort of thing) and you DO NOT encourage stuff as serious as infidelity as a joke, especially if the other party isn’t receptive to the “Joke”. She can be the runner up God Mother but she needs to work for anything more than “Unpleasantly civil”. Have some respect for yourself.
OP has none. The fact that he excepted an apology for years of disrespect shows he is hopeless.
@@johnbradbury8610 he accepted but didn't believe her. He's still against her and said they aren't friends. He also told his wife she won't be GM, he's not hopeless, he's just tired of her
Story 2: she is toxic and your wife isn't any better.
Story #2: NTA!! YOU DESERVE BETTER!! If I were you and the first time she tried this crap, more than her feelings would have been hurt. Your wife is a piece of crap because she doesn't put her foot down with her. She's bitter and she's going to be even more bitter when your child is born. But you should have put your foot down when she started to disrespect you in YOUR OWN HOUSE!! Cut the cancer called Jess before it consumes your marriage.
At this point, OP deserves this marriage.
Story #3: NTA!! She's not a bully! She's a ahole!! I personally would have slugged her!
“Sam’s competing internationally in a competitive sport, what have YOU accomplished?”
Story 2: So...what Op said was cruel but not Jess's years of insult and active attempts of trying to get the wife to cheat? Op's wife should've been the one who shut that behavior down ages ago, not Op. He needs to have a serious conversation with her because despite all of this, Jess still didn't face any real consequences. Why is she making Jess godmother if she's been disrespecting their marriage?
Jess is actively encouraging OP's wife to cheat. If this isn't stopped now she probably will. Either because she is swayed by her "bestie" or she believes the lie she is out of his League. I HATE that term by the way.
@@Zanzetihunter exactly!!
OP is a pathetic simp for allowing his wife, and her friend to treat him this way. Now he falls for this late apology.
@@Zanzetihunter you can blame romcoms for that phrase and I also hate it to. It's mainly used by people on the outside of a relationship.
Anybody else feel that OP's wife's friend is saying some of these things bc OP'S wife is always speaking trash about him? Maybe that's why the wife never sticks up for him. It was the "She called me in a panic..." that got to me. OP"s wife probably called her and said about making up something to cover for her. OP has a wife problem.
I think so, too. His wife may be beautiful and intelligent, but she is anything but kind.
Story 1: OP is definitely NTA, but I would like to add a note about Sam 'only' scoring 1 goal: Most field hockey games have scores of 3 - 1 or similar low numbers. Scoring even one goal is a major achievement. You're doing great, Sam!
Story 3: NTA. Your right, she is a bully! I have a complicated name, you don’t hear me disowning people and saying I hope they never know my baby for mispronouncing my name. I hope she has more patience for her child, otherwise she’s going to be disowned the second they say Pa•sked•dee.
OP does a good job standing up for her sister. Then she asks if she's the AH. Why OP?
@johnbradbury8610 my question exactly, post like this are always so crazy to hear. "I got my sister's ex arrested for abusing her but now he's saying I ruined his life and got him fired from his four-figure job, AITA?" Like, huh???
Final Story: NTA. I get where he’s coming from, at his age being in the same car as your Dad can be humiliating. That being said though you went there to do this and he needs to learn anyway. He can deal with the humiliation of Growing bigger and needing hygiene products.
Needing to buy deodorant and underpants is embarrassing? Good grief, anyone would think Luke was the sons crush (could well be but I'm not going to assume). Teens get so weird about stuff and wanting to impress certain people. Op is nta and son needs to learn that when dad says "time to go get the things you needed" he means it, any further elaboration will result in details being shared you might not want folks to hear.
Story 2: This man has the backbone of a snail. There is no helping him if he can sit there and still believe that an apology after 10 years means that she "didn't mean for it to be taken seriously."
This has the beginnings of a r/survivinginfidelity or relashionship advice thread written all over it.
I won't be surprised if the wife did cheat.
That last comment on the first story really confuses me. I did not get the impression that OP wasn’t going to help her child get the child support at 18 but that she was going to let her make her own adult decision with all the necessary information and then will help with the legal process. Honestly I think OP is doing the right thing there since she doesn’t need the support herself. A lot of reddits have their hearts in the right place but they don’t understand what it’s like being the kid when your parents are having it out over money. That no good father would start using the court decisions to guilt his minor child into things like forgiving him when it suits him and saying nice things about him to the grandparents. It’s hell when your deadbeat thinks his court ordered child payment entitled him to attention and love, so yes OP should definitely wait for her child to grow up, get her opinion, and then wield that opinion with an iron fist.
No, OP is making a lot of legal assumptions about her exes financial situation. She's trying to do the " we don't need his help, I earn enough", when all she need to do is place a simple child support application now, rather than make her daughter jump through hoops later. The commenter was right, she is being lazy.
@@philwill0123 you and the commenter are making the assumption that she’s going to make her daughter do all the legal things alone when I don’t believe we had enough information to make that assumption. Seemed to me that OP planned to do the legal stuff with her daughters permission when she becomes an adult. So I stick by what I said.
The impression I got was that the mothers was gonna do the work, if the daughter wants the cash. Kind a fuck you to the shitty ex. I could be wrong.
@@The_dandy_zombie Yet you're making the assumption that the laws are how OP thinks it is. Most laws, especially in the US, tend to say that if child support isn't given by 18 and the child goes for it, then it's forfeit
@@lovelysakurapetalsyt the OP literally talked about a specific time period of 18-25 where in some states an adult child can still be considered a dependent if they are going to collage and living with a parent and/or living off said parent. It’s not an assumption that the OP has looked into the laws in her state, it’s an inference.
SHE'D NEVER DISRESPECT THEIR MARRIAGE???... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Whew... I mean irl I am in absolute pain rn but dang that laugh almost killed me... I slept on my side wrong so like half my body is cramped... When you wake up like origami ya know it will be a pain to move
If the son isn't old enough to handle buying his own private things, OP should get him some underwear suitable for a much younger kid.
Getting back dated child support is actually easier than you think. Go to what ever child support agency in your area and explain that he hasn’t paid child support in however many years it’s been. They’ll take care of it
Op shouldn’t have to take the ex husband to court and cut off his side of the family.
I'm convinced that if anyone actually followed reddits full ideas about parenting that they'd produce the worst kind of adult.
Story 1: Mom seriously had the idea to have her daughter ,who is already going to be hurt and traumatized by her father not wanting to be in her life, then sue her father when she becomes an adult instead of just being an adult herself and making him pay now what!?!?
Story 2: Aww she can talk shit but not take the truth. Wife is awful for letting this happen. Poor OP has been manipulated for so long. But she seriously is going with. I just didn’t know it was a problem thank God she didn’t actually go into medicine, being that vile and/or that oblivious
S2 NTA your wife didn't settle for you, Jesse is not a good person period. You spoke the truth, and it's high time your wife is put in her place. YOU DESERVE BETTER JESSE IS A HOMEWRECKER. YOUR WIFE DOESN'T LOVE YOU AT ALL.
JESSE NEEDS TO HEAR THIS " PHYSICIAN HEAL THYSELF".
When are idiots who have kids going to start comprehending that child support isn't 'optional' lmao. You having a good job is completely irrelevant. It's about them BEING ACCOUNTABLE and CONTRIBUTING to the human being they helped create.
I know women who stupidly refused to apply for child support because they think it implies "control". No, if he doesn't want the role of dad, he still has to pay
*_Story #2 :_* I call BS on Jess’s explanation. She said that she “tells his wife she would steal OP from her”. Funny that she’s never said that in front of OP. But her constant insults about OP are in front of his wife all the time… If she actually was like that with the wife, OP would have heard that “joke” at least once, no?… That’s just some bad excuse she made up after being called out, to try and make it look like she isn’t the terrible person that she actually is.
2nd story: OP's relationship isn't as good as he thinks when his wife doesn't object about Jess diminishing him, and trying to give her other men's numbers. I bet wife would be furious if OP's best friend tried to give him other women's numbers.
Story 1: NTA. How could OP’s former in-laws scold OP after witnessing their son’s bad behavior towards their granddaughter? With parents like this, no wonder this guy turned out to be an AH😠
Story 2: OP’s wife should end this so called friendship with this toxic person. Can you imagine how OP’s kids will view their dad when hearing this friend talking badly about him? Yeah, she apologized but that’s probably because she doesn’t want to let go of her victims😒
Story 3: You got to call them as you see them. Kate is a bully. OP and her sister should just ghost this awful sister 😢
Story 4: OP, you messed up on this one. It’s important to keep not to embarrass your kid in front of their friends 🙁
Kate just ticked off cause shes not getting all the attention!!!
so WHAT if folks have a speech issue? it doesnt mean you can be an utter AH to your family!!!! /:
Kate the AH!!!
Poor Amy, I feel so bad for her. Glad OP finally stood up for her. Kate and the parents are The AHs for letting this go on so long. As someone who had a speech impediment as a kid and stuttered, I went to speech therapy and luckily for me it’s worked about 99% and these days most people don’t know. It’s very rare for my mouth to not work though it happens on occasion and I still have a few problem words I avoid but it would have been so hard for me if I had a sibling that bullied me for it. Hope Amy stops letting Kate get to her although I know that can be hard.
Thanks for the video XOS. Have a good evening
Story 2: her being a godmother, in the religious sense, you know only in the eyes of the church, is irrelevant. Because if one of the spouses passed away, the children would immediately stay with the surviving spouse. If both parents passed away, the minor children would be given to whoever you name as guardian, and backup guardian, and backup Guardian to that, in your Will. So get started on that. You don't need to be old and dying to create one. I made one when I was in my twenties mostly because I worked for a law office but still. If your wife wants to name that friend as backup guardian, you don't have to. Your Will could be completely different from hers.
Yeah I wouldn't want Jesse to be my children's godmom. If Jesse can't treat OP with respect why should he think she would be respectful of his kids. The things Jesse says aren't funny or jokes and harmful to self esteem. If this is how Jesse treats OP, I doubt she will be treating his children kindly either. Again why are friends with her when she does this?
Story 1: I agree with the last commenter about the child support. Additionally, getting it now and putting it in an account it can start accumulating interest which will leave the daughter with more savings than she would have otherwise gotten.
This is a bad idea, going to court now over back child support can and will turn into a custody dispute or enforcement of the already discussed parenting plan!
This kid is 14 she's pliable like mom said, dad buys gifts she pardons him, he might and will use this to his advantage, I've seen bad parents buy their kids affection and consequently; I want to go live with insert parent!
It's infinetly better to wait, also depending on your state interest can be added to arrears!
Story two - OP, 😂😂😂😂😂😂
That was a great comeback !!!
OP, not even close to being an idiot, Jess is a garbage human, stop being nice to her, and if your wife can’t support you against her then get a divorce because that kind of abuse never should have been tolerated !!!
OP has allowed Kate to disrespect Amy all these years along with the rest of that family. I hope Amy goes NC with the whole family of bullies.
Story 2: So basically Jess jokesd because she thought she and OP were the vitrolic best buds and thought they were close enough that he wouldn’t actually take offense to any of those jokes… uh huh. we’ll see. At minimum Jess is as dense as a brick and completely lacking in social skills, and judging by what she looks for in men is probably pretty shallow too.
Last story - OP sounded like every mum who tries to get their kids suited and booted the week before school starts. I'm sure every kid has been embarrassed by their parent at some point. Just talk about it as if it's normal everyday life and nothing to get embarrassed about.( Which it is). Or you could be pure evil and take him into the female hygiene isle 🤣🤣
Kate is an awful sister. Where are the parents?
I love how the oldest sister has been bullying her disabled sister for years…but then is all “shocked pikachu face” when Op calls her a bully…
Op you’re NTA but im sooo sorry for your younger sister, why didn’t your parents ever do anything to help?
"Jess" wants her friends hubby to herself & "Jess" is super jelly cause OP & her friend are very happy, shes not /:
I've known people like Jess before. The wife staying friends with her could be for various reasons, i would make therapy an ultimatum, to find out why she's putting up with someone so toxic in her life threatening her relationship
Jess is a mess and OP’s wife better cut her off.
It sounds like Jess has transferred all her anger at the men that have let her down onto OP
Syory 2: Jess is full of it. She is a miserable person who wants to make everybody else miserable. Some women thrive on destroying happy marriages. If the wife really loves OP, she will ditch Jess, otherwise she will eventually cheat on and divorce OP.
Story 1: I'm sorry, but OP's plan to drain deadbeat dad dry is genius. Let him think he's safe then hit him all at once for the backdated payments. Yes Sam will probably have to take time out to take part in the legal proceedings, but honestly it might be woth it just to fleece his ass.
Story 2.. OP’s come back was perfect! Jess is actually jealous of their relationship..that was obvious..
Story 3..Kate is a bully…Amy probably hears the words differently than other people.. the way she pronounces is how she hears them.. some people can’t hear vowel sounds.. I know someone like that..
Story 4.. Some of these people comments are ridiculous..
Omg..I hate people like "Kate". It would karma if her kid got the same problem as 'Amy'. Maybe it will cause the bully some humility.
Wifey in story 2 is definitely the arsehole in this story. She's allowed this to go on for years and wants her to be the godmother?
Story 1. Nta all the way but op 1000% needs to leagly go after that dead beat for child support. It's not about her being able to support her daughter on her own or not it's money her child deserves as she didn't ask to be born and it is the least the dead beat can do
OP NTA. What the heck is wrong with your wife? If op's wife really loved him, she would have shut down Jesse's disrespectful talk long time ago. Don't really blame OP for saying what he did but they really to go LC with Jesse til she can respect OP and his wife's relationship.
Did no one catch the part about the dad saying his 10 year old son showered with his friend? WTF is that about, I hope he's talking about after gym class. At my school we didn't take showers until we were around 15
Story 2: Get rid of Jess. This story is total NONSENSE!
OP is nta, but your wife is the big AH here. She has let her friend not only disrespect you as a husband but also her marriage and even herself, I would be offended if my friend acted this way implying that I would be capable of cheating on my marriage. OP needs to ignore Jess but have a serious talk with his wife.
If it were me I’d have told them be happy you only got a scene and not a broadway musical. I don’t have kids, but I would have cussed him and them out. Him for being a deadbeat, them for raising him.
First story: Anytime anything happens where a single mother is evolved, ppl will find a way to blame the mother.
Parent with the smelly kid.. should be glad dad didn’t tell him he needs to buy deodorant and shower gel because he smells like a goat… but probably his friend already knows
Story about the best friend Jess clearly reveals that Jess is jealous of the stability of her friend's relationship. She is cruel because she wants her friend's life with a dependable husband.
OP's wife's BF only just learned that he will no longer stand by while she belittles him so she will not just do it when he isn't around and she will be relentless. My prediction OP gets cheated on and possibly end up with another man's kid without him knowing.
Last Story: Got to love when a bully calls people who stand up for their victim a Bully. Of course NTA. Kate is insane, people with speech impediments don't always grow out of them, especially when there is a bully in their life actively harassing them (AKA Kate).
If the truth hurts, then sometimes it needs to be said. Those that don’t like it, know that it is the truth and know that it reflects badly upon them. Then they try to double down on what they have said and try to shame those calling them out. Don’t allow it. Speak loud and clear, telling them what an awful individual they are.
S1 NTA your ex-husband became a deadbeat dad, this has consequences. Your daughter is smart and will see you this. Now he's pissed the truth comes out NTA in anyway shape or form. Get her the back dated child support now so she has it for college and more. When she turned 18 it will be her choice if she wants a relationship with her father but I doubt that will happen. You have been a wonderful parent till now don't drop the ball.
Privacy? Bruh… kid should have stuck to the schedule if he wanted “privacy”.
Story 1. See a lawyer and see if you can get the back child support could be used for education.
Story 1: OP is AH for not going after child support, it's something that belongs to her daughter and just because mother can manage isn't a reason to take it from her daughter. I guess she is afraid that he then wants shared custody but that's another issue. She says Sam can go for money when she is 18, or in case he is dead get money from estate, but what if he passes away and is in debt? As a mother she should fight in court, not leave it to a teenager.
Second-story even with the update you're doing this to keep the peace. You know and I know just doesn't like you and she will continue this behavior on and on until you finally say I don't want her in my life I don't want her not kid's life. Your wife knows this but your wife I honestly feel like it's so afraid of losing her friendship with Jess that she basically call her and say hey I think you need to be experienced your him that what you did was wrong but it was a joke. You need to have a serious conversation with your wife and tell her how this makes you feel and tell her if this doesn't stop you will file for divorce. You're not in the wrong here but you got to grow a spine now
Even if the daughter is just a regular ordinary kid with no special talent, the father should still show up and do the best he couls as a parent. It's more hurtful that this is an actual accomplishment that would get her a national/international spot, yet the dad found some excuse to put her down. The very least he could do is show up and cheer for her sincerely! What a pos. If (when) the daughter wins something big or gets rich off off being an athlete, I bet this guy would show up to hloat or ask money.
Story 2- OP, tell Jess that every time she opens her mouth about your marriage, you will slap her across the face just as hard as you can. She will either stop or one of her eyes will pop out. Either way, it's done. Maybe your wife could have done better, but, she CHOSE you!
Story 1: So child support is optional?? Should go after him, unless there’s something she left out
Story #1
NTA. OP said what was true, and if the ex-in-laws are more upset about her "making a scene" than their son's behavior then they're worthless too. I do hope OP's daughter goes no-contact with her sperm donor when she turns 18. But OP still should sue for child support backpay.
Story #2
ESH.
OP is a spineless coward. If he had any sense of self-worth he wouldn't have spent so many years putting up with these attacks on his marriage. He's an AH to himself.
If his wife loved him even a little bit she wouldn't have either. The first time Jess offered to facilitate an affair, OP would have been justified in giving his wife an ultimatum; no-contact with her, or divorce.
Story #3
NTA. Kate really is an ableist bully, and frankly I hope her child doesn't have a speech impediment because Kate would abuse her for it. Frankly, OP and Amy should both go no-contact with Kate.
Story #4
YTA. The moment OP crossed the line was when he laughed. He didn't know his son was embarrassed about pretty normal things that everybody needs, but when he found out he should have had a little sensitivity.
Story 1: "She only scored 1 goal." Do you know why the whole "GOOOOOOOOOAL!" cheer became a thing? Because scoring is _SO_ rare in soccer that when somebody finally does, it seems like a goddamn miracle.
The fundamental flaw with the sport (and I say this as someone who played it for 7 years as a kid) is that there's too much defense on both sides... or not enough offense, depending on how you look at it. The game is inadvertently set up so that it's _REALLY_ hard to score, despite how big the goal is. Professional games often end in 0 - 0 ties, where one team only moves up because they're ranked higher.
But even if Brian had 0 clue about any of this (which I'm sure is the case) he could've just given her an empty "Good job." Hell, even saying absolutely nothing would've been worlds better than openly belittling her legitimately big moment. He deserved so much worse than the embarrassment he brought upon himself.
Story 1
When do you think children are disposable things that can eat fresh air no for year's he owes twelve years of child support his a disgrace and he has absolutely no right to critique your daughter I think you should sue him for the child support towards her college fund
You should always defend your daughter, not the selfish, self-centered dead-beat dad. I would have told him the same thing.
Yea she shouldn't have continued the ecene the deadbeat started, but everyone has a boiling point. Also on the crap friend one the wife is either already cheated or currently cheating, why else would shenbe alright with how Jess acts.
The wife probably isn’t cheating .
Kate IS a bully. She knows Amy can't help this. How awful she and your parents are to allow this...and you should have spoken out sooner. Kate should be ignored by the family. Not poor Amy. And Amy could have further speech therapy. If she wanted.
Now Kate is trying to gaslight you. Oh I would never call you a bully. So what. Kates still a bully. And Aimee is a much nicer way to say Amy. It means I love. And has anyone bothered to check Amy’s hearing. Usually in female children when their pronunciation are off it could be that she can’t hear in all ranges. And stress from Kate probably isn’t helping Amy
Story 3
Really sounds like Amy could be slightly deaf. At the very least deaf to to certain pitches. Like imagine trying to pronounce certain words when you can only hear part of it, of course it's not going to come out correct. The only thing that makes me doubt it is that she had speech therapy for so long and I would imagine someone there would maybe think about that as a possibility.
Last story: So we finna bypass the showering together part?
1) NTA she’s being lazy with the back pay. If she waits the kid will the support PLUS interest
Story 1 - OP NTA - This falls under the category of THEY can handle the truth and that is THEIR problem and not yours. That was a good mother telling her deadbeat AH of an ex what kind of "parent" he really is. That was the straw the broke the camel's back. You've been holding your tongue and your ex belittling your daughter's accomplishment was NOT okay. Just because he donated the sperm to create your daughter doesn't give him the right to put your daughter's accomplishments down. It is time that that you have a talk with your ex in-laws and tell them the truth about ther "pride and joy". Keep that AH away from your daughter. He brings nothing but pain to your daughter. Disgusting!
Story 2 - OP NTA - OP time to have a serious talk with "out of your league" wife. She is your wife therefore you should be her first priority and not some woman that is pretending to be her friend. Her apology is as sincere as her friendship with your wife. LMAO She is who she is and she is NOT going to change to keep you and your "out of your league" wife. Toxic and miserable people don't change in one day. She just told you what you wanted to hear and it seems that you ate it all. If you don't have a serious talk with your wife and make her understand that this woman is NOT really her friend maybe it is time for you to get couples therapy and have the professional do so. If you guys keep having this woman around there will be more situations like this one coming your way. She is miserable because her life is NOT what she wanted it to be and she blames the rest of the world for it instead of accepting that HER poor life choices are what made her hopes and dreams destroyed them. It is everybody's fault but her own and since your wife is her closest "friend" she will always be the receiving one of her missery.
Story 3 - OP NTA/YTA - NTA for finally defending your younger sister but YTA but doing nothing over the years to defend your younger sister for years. It is disgusting that your older sister has resentment toward your other sister for something that she has NO control over it. I hope that from now on you see your AH of a sister for what she really is... a massive disgusting bully. Also, your AHs of a parent are as bad as your oldest sister if they have allowed this kind of BS to take root and have done nothing to stop it. YUCK, you all suck except poor Amy that had the misfortune to be born into a family of AHs.
Story 4 - OP all you needed to tell your son is that he got his 25 minutes and that you had other things to do, period. As for him being "embarrassed", well kids get embarrassed by almost everything. What else is new? Oh the horror... deodorant, body wash, underwear...oh no, how dare you dad? Seriously? Give me a break.
Story 1: OP never said shes going to makre their kid do the legal stuff alone though? Also id be petty enough to pull this shit on a deadbeat dad myself.
TEA TIME!
about Kate and Amy, I will, just say one thing, Barbara Walters.
Story 1 NTA I'd be telling all parties involved that I'm sorry if you felt embarrassed but I will NEVER sit quietly while ANYONE insults my daughter and if you expect me to then maybe I should rethink your involvement in my Childs life because anyone who would sit idly by while her father insults her clearly does not have her best interest in mind.
Busy body BFF: YTA, for allowing your friend to talk trash about your marriage like that. I beat the hell out of my brother when he threatened my husband. I tore my in-laws apart and threatened to cut them when they talked trash about my kids. One of my BFF would make comments about sleeping with my brother. At the time my brother was dating my other BFF (they don't like each other) I told her if she makes another comment like that, I'm cutting her out of my life. He's in a relationship and she's also my BFF.
But I'm crazy like that and I adore my family. My bio family is amazing and tight nit. Messing with them brings out rage. Yes, I was in therapy. I'm a lot better now that I cut my in-laws out and my BFF apologized and said she would never sleep with him.
You talking about story 2
@@Spgzay sorry hun, I'm not sure which order they were in. It's the one where the OP, his wife and friend were making fun of him saying she can do better... apparently so can all the guys that slept with the friend.
Jess is scum but your wife is the problem allowing this so called friend to treat you that way. You don’t owe this woman an apology. Sounds like she’s jealous of your relationship.
Story 1: she's more successful than he is and she's half his age, he probably put her down because of jealousy, usually deadbeat try the bank on their children success. They're probably just mad because publicly called out your deadbeat ex in front of their friends who didn't know about how little he truly does for his daughter. Maybe it shouldn't have been in front of the dinner table and around all those people but you are defending your daughter from a piece of human garbage so I think everyone can let it slide, besides you weren't the one that started this fight but you sure as hell finished it.
Oh we all know the son seems interested in his friend... Ofc it's embarrassment but we all know which kind based on the situation... Soon as the friend laughed he bailed with his dad and said goodbye 🤣 Even if it's not a full blown crush kid is giving off signals
I hope that no one watching this takes the summaries of the child's legal rights to recover back child support (3:00 - 3:00) after turning 18 as a plan for legal action, because it's almost all nonsense. In most all jurisdictions, delinquent child support is owed to the custodial parent. That continues after the child reaches adult status. In many jurisdictions, once the child becomes an adult, the character of the unpaid, pre-adult support debt changes from "child support" to "money claim" and becomes subject to discharge in bankruptcy as well. Good going, numbnuts.
Wife needs to ditch jess. She's awful. Op snapped after 10 yrs of abuse. She would have been a terrible tactless doctor.
Story one: Totally disagree with the last commenter. OP is leaving it up to her daughter on how to deal with her deadbeat father. If her daughter goes for the money I'm sure OP will give any and all assistance and if she doesn't want to then OP will have her daughter well taken care of. Either way OP has been doing the damn thing caring for her child and nothing says your contribution is worthless than only going after the man because you want to not because you have to.