To be fair, 1 ant is nothing. A whole swarm? That's a different story entirely, especially if it's fire or bullet ants, or those traveling South American ones that can strip a carcass in hours
@@ericlamb4501 Yeah but there isn't any reason to assume you'd be fighting a swarm of ants and not a swarm of cats, it's one animal of each denomination.
Well it's fair to assume that there's probably a species of ant out there with paralyzing venom and honestly it would have a much higher chance of getting you than a panda would. In 1v1 there's no scenario where even the deadliest ant on the planet doesn't die before you do, but it could still take you with it.
@@thatoneflyinghat The idea is that obviously you would win a 1v1 against an ant, even the deadliest ant in the world could only at best draw against any human, even a two year old. So for the sake of discussion it's completely fair to think you might fight a swarm because otherwise it's too obvious what would happen.
@@Bone8380 No that's still bad reasoning because if that's the logic then obviously you could beat a house cat, that doesn't mean you'd then have to fight a swarm of house cats. The list is a single animal of each denomination because if it was a swarm of each animal you'd lose every fight.
@@hybridpheonix6343 idk where the guy got that their claws of poisonous, pretty sure they aren't but also if you are fighting a sloth you arent going to be sitting there waiting for the sloth to take a swing, you could kick it in the head while its helpless on the ground and if that didnt kill it a following kick while its knocked out surely would
@@Artemis-ey4lw they aren't poisonous but their flesh has algae that grows on it making them poisonous to eat, u would get an infected cut but u wouldnt be poisoned
Well, it does actually matter. If there is one thing Humans have, it's endurance. Thought endurance won't really matter if an animal can catch you quickly. Like say a rhino or hippo. Doesn't matter how long you can run if it catches you while it's charging at 35mph, if even only for a minute or less. Sure the bear would be gassed after half a minute or less, but if NL can keep away for that time, he'd be good. A 3 second burst of 30mph can't beat a steady 15mph, especially if there's distance between the two.
@@ericlamb4501 A warehouse is about 100x100 ft, you can't stand at the edges because then there's nowhere to run so let's say 50ft headstart. The speed required to overtake someone going 15mph with a 50 ft headstart in 3 seconds is 26.36mph. Or lets say it's a 200x200ft warehouse. With a 100 ft headstart in 3 seconds is 37.73mph. If you're slow but have better endurance, that only comes in to play when they're running from you. If they're chasing you at twice your speed? If you want to tire the animal, lets say 1 minute? You need about a 1760ft headstart. And then we're assuming it goes from 35mph to 0mph after getting sick of chasing after the minute.
A man at peak physical fitness might maybe, just maybe defeat a cassowary, if specifically trained for the task. NL: So my chances aren't great, but I could perhaps do it.
I don't think even at peak fitness you could do that. Cassowary are literally known for how aggressive they can be. The Australian government went to war with them, TWICE, and *LOST* both times.
Emus and cassowaries are nothing alike. An emu is just a big dumb herbivore like a sheep, potentially dangerous, but managable. You can go interact with them directly in nature preserves and hand feed them. Cassowaries are extremely agressive and good at fighting. I wouldn't fuck with one for money.
NL: I could wait until the panda falls asleep and then land a debilitating knee strike Also NL: there is no way I could do enough damage to a camel to take it out
@@calumryan6328 I don't get that lol, it's a damn BEAR. Doesn't matter if a panda is even remotely docile by nature, it's still a bear, still outruns people, and could easily kill you in one bite or a few swipes of it's what, 4+ inch claws? You'd have to believe Disney movies are reality if you believe you could beat a Panda with anything less than a massive caliber firearm and even then I'd probably best you before it dies.
I'm convinced he makes sure to have at least one insane take in these videos to get comment engagement. There is no other way to explain the panda ranking. And he got me with it.
@@formerlypie8781 if he had to fight it the panda would 100% catch him. The premise from the start is that he is fighting these animals not just choosing to live with it next to him. Even if he did choose to run away from the panda, he is still dying before the panda in the wild. Unless he has some survival skills that we don’t know about
Vs Panda: Tie because i can run away rules don't specify that I can't, nobody says it's a cage match Vs Goose: I win easy. Unless it runs away but we won't count that. ????
@@sonofhades57 Exactly this. Geese are spiteful fuckers. He would have to kill it while it's literally biting, hitting, and scratching at him. NL would probably go down as one of the first people to die from bleeding out due to goose related injuries.
To be fair. He said he gets ringed by all bears. Pandas arnt technically bears. EDIT: look man, in the mid 2000's it was a bit of trivia that pandas were thought to be closer to raccoons than bears. I suppose thr scientific community in the last 15 years decided that's not true anymore. I'm old, ok?
I love how his strategy for killing animals is picking them up and throwing them on the ground rather than stomping, crushing or strangling them. Just for that he'd lose the fight with a wolf.
I just can't believe that chat can argue that NL would lose to a porcupine with no chance, but then argue that he could strike down camel legs with his bare fists and win Great segment
Nl has no chance against a porcupine the pain of the spines impaling his leg would stop him from doing anything and he’d immediately fall to the ground and roll around screaming.
@Grey Dragon I think that assessment is correct. With no tools, and only his physical strength, he is probably more likely to win against a wolf or a cheata than a cow. That being said, his chances are basically 0 but like. You don't have a fucking shot in hell of striking down a cow. You might get a lucky blow and break bones in a wolf or cheata.
I love the inconsistent application of the "run the hell away" gambit. Once he established it's cage fight in a warehouse to explain how he's fighting the sure wins, he's lost to the panda..
All these years, NL has never triggered me. But the, “I could outlast a panda in a war of attrition,” take is absolutely the most infuriating thing I’ve ever heard.
My man is right, humans have hunted things just by chasing them until they run out stamina and die of exhaustion. We have some of the longest endurance of any animal. Most animals can only go fast for a very short time. Kiting an animal until it gets tired is legit. If you can go faster or dodge until the animal runs out of sprint energy a human will every time, not even a particularly fit person can do a slow jog for hours. You guys all getting eaten when you could win, noobs.
@@kommodore6691 and as with every other animal, the scenario isn't the fucking serengeti plains. It's an enclosed space. And NL and everyone else talking about "how long can an animal go fast for" are just huffing copium and assuming they can avoid getting cornered or caught within the sprint time of an animal. If you think you can avoid a full sprinting bear for 30 seconds in a small encloses space you're kidding yourself. Every animal NL looks up and goes "yea they're fast but how long?". He's dead. He's in decent shape but biking on a stationary bike for 30-60 minutes ain't the same as running. He'd be gassed in under a minute of sprinting. No animal needs human endurance to hunt their prey.
@@Geblino While I agree with every other fast animal on this list being able to gore/ maul/ or rip apart NL, the panda take is one hill I'm gonna strangely die on. The panda is by far the worst bear to exist. It's a black and white dipshit animal that's too lazy to reproduce, and because it actively chooses to eat only bamboo, a nutrient-less type of grass, has no stamina. You're basing your argument on the fact it's a bear, and sure, it's built like one, but its actual stats are a fucking joke. Not to mention, NL would have to start the fight, because pandas by nature are pacifist as fuck. They have no proper natural predators cause they look scary as shit, but other than that its a teddy bear with claws.
@@Geblinopandas can barely run due to their diet and lifestyle. i read that are much like sloths and they act lazy because they don't get much nutrients from bamboo. other than baby pandas i dont think most adult pandas do any running at all
I love how he’s like for how long can they run. If they are in a warehouse it will only take those two seconds to catch him. The fastest person ever ran at like 25 mph.
@@jeremymcadam7400 no but if the average the average person runs at 8mph and a panda can run at 25mph your kinda screwed even if it takes a bit because it would probably corner you in a warehouse. Even if we say that the peloton made him run at 15mph it’s still a 10 mph gap.
@@nattteo He completely forgot he can just take it out of the water and let it suffocate. Like, Yes, It's a colony so you can't cut it in half and finish the job but if the sting doesn't kill you there's no way you draw
@canox6017 you're thinking of siphonophores, not jellyfish. A jellyfish is a single animal, and is incredibly soft and fragile, you can easily squish one with one hand
Someone Malf managed to sucker punch and lock in a chokehold thinks he has a fighting chance at anything more dangerous than a cooked lobster. My sides left orbit when he went on the panda tangent.
my man really think he can out run a Panda with a avarage sprint speed of 33KM/H, when the avarage human athlete sprints at about 30KM/H, and yes i know NL is in decent shape and he does his pelaton ride every day, but he is by no means close to an athlete
I actually felt bad for the wrestler dude during the finale, flipping the tiles is actually a lot more involving than you think it would be. Hence why physical kids games are such a workout.
What i think is the most unhinged take is the octopus one, bizarrely enough. I don't know what kinda of octopus he's talking about but i think most can be simply crushed with our hands. Being underwater is the only problem, but i don't think it goes above 50/50, even with the water advantage.
@@JS55505 you can just rip it apart. I wouldn't want to do this, but if it's really needed you can just eat live too. Your teeth would absolutely demolish the poor octopus.
If it's a giant pacific octopus, no shot you can win. It's 4-6 meters long and up to 50 kilos. Even if you get to tear its softer mantle, you have to deal with eight tentacles made of pure muscle, and they sucker you up. Octopus can just smother your face until you drown.
@@santiagovidelaleiva I think it depends on the size and strength of the octopus. I agree that grabbing and biting is your best strategy, as long as you can overpower it.
@@santiagovidelaleiva depends on the species. no shot you kill a big octopus. pure muscle that will wrap round your face an start ripping it apart with its beak
And the tid bit about how if they got aggressive we would just genocide them in 6months but like wild hogs have been a real issue for american for decades now
Northernlion putting the pig in the "probably win" tier shows that NL doesn't quite understand that the scary part of a wild pig isn't that it's wild, it's that it's a pig. Pigs are fucking scary, man.
I own pigs and I respect my Boars space. They're large, emotional animals, and if they wanted to kill a human they absolutely could. Thick skin, tusks made for breaking the skin of OTHER BOARS, way faster than you'd expect, and strong enough to knock you down for sure. NL needs to respect the Hog.
@@MadaraUchiha289 I mean a cow is definitely an easy L, they are huge. I think the problem is that there is a lot of variance in the easy L tier. Like, the moose is literally a living tank, but the komodo dragon is just a bad way to go. Idk why he put the Octopus there though, most octopi are pretty small.
To be fair, panda has no fucking stamina. That 30mph is highly overblown, not to mention it can only feasibly do that for like less than a minute before it needs to eat again.
I think it might be more due to him having no idea about half these animals, and the fact he thinks that half the animals would actively know it's a fight to the death. For the carnivores, or particularly aggressive animals, sure, but like half these animals wouldn't even throw the first punch, much less know what's going on.
@@greenoftreeblackofblue6625 Cause it takes at least three to four FARMERS to roll a full grown farm pig. If NL gets anywhere close to it and tries to manhandle it, he'd end up losing some fingers.
"A Giant Panda can travel at speeds of up to 20 miles per hour? Okay for how long?" How long does it need? From how many miles away are you poking it with a stick?
As someone who’s been on a farm with cattle and pigs, my mans ignorance is showing. He put cow in the right tier, but he completely lowballs how deadly they can be
God I wish there were a hippo on the list, I feel like we would have gotten an amazing tangent where he was like, "How could that possibly kill me? I would just dodge." And then he'd look it up and be like "Oh."
I actually think in a 1v1 nl might edge over a wolf. They're not amazing by themselves, they're just really big dogs. If you can kick it in the jaw once before it gets onto you, you've won. NL - 55 45-wolf
It makes me think of that one scene in Star Wars where a clone soldier punches a super battle droid and promptly breaks his hand before being turned into Swiss cheese by blasters. Most of these animals also have incredibly thick bones/ skulls, and NL would break his dainty lil footsies and hands the instant he tried to kick or hit them.
NL: Can a human beat a black bear? random website: no way absolutely not... bears are better armed with sharp claws and 1,000psi bite force NL: yeah but it's not psi its like, in a ring
Raised sheep and pigs for many years. You would wash a goat, ez clap. Pig would roast you. You would wail and wail, he would keep taking it. Eventually he would catch one toe or a shin.... then he would literally just eat you alive.
@@LunyDR thats fair, its faster I suppose..sometimes I find myself posting a comment several times after catching typos or grammar errors. Most of the times though I get bored mid writting and delete the whole thing 😅
Yeah, have you seen videos of police dogs? NL would get wrecked by a german shepherd any day. They're basically smaller wolves (which he has also rated too high, by the way).
I was kinda doubting NL about the panda take until I googled what 30kph was in mph. That's only 18 mph. I've verifiably ran 18 mph before. Not to mention the panda would be charging, so NL can just dodge to a side. So yeah NL is 100% right that a panda would have a really hard time getting in CQC with him is his objective is to out-endure the panda.
Panda only got the psycho take because it was first, it had to be the prototype that NL used to work through the "Why would I ever approach an animal that can kill me" question, the acceptance of which is a prerequisite for making the tier list.
Overheard in heaven:
Panda 1: Hey bro how'd you die?
Panda 2: Old age. You?
Panda 1: A drop knee to the temple or wind pipe
Your comment is almost as good as the year your team is gonna have next year, which is to say, probably excellent.
If I was eating as I read this comment I probably would've choked to death
+2
+2
@@Aether_GM I geniunely choked on my food for a second reading the comment lmao
He thought he could beat a Panda but second guessed himself on the Ant
To be fair, 1 ant is nothing. A whole swarm? That's a different story entirely, especially if it's fire or bullet ants, or those traveling South American ones that can strip a carcass in hours
@@ericlamb4501 Yeah but there isn't any reason to assume you'd be fighting a swarm of ants and not a swarm of cats, it's one animal of each denomination.
Well it's fair to assume that there's probably a species of ant out there with paralyzing venom and honestly it would have a much higher chance of getting you than a panda would. In 1v1 there's no scenario where even the deadliest ant on the planet doesn't die before you do, but it could still take you with it.
@@thatoneflyinghat The idea is that obviously you would win a 1v1 against an ant, even the deadliest ant in the world could only at best draw against any human, even a two year old. So for the sake of discussion it's completely fair to think you might fight a swarm because otherwise it's too obvious what would happen.
@@Bone8380 No that's still bad reasoning because if that's the logic then obviously you could beat a house cat, that doesn't mean you'd then have to fight a swarm of house cats. The list is a single animal of each denomination because if it was a swarm of each animal you'd lose every fight.
"a million ants? i lose. 1 ant? i win"
he was so ready to argue the bear take again lmao
He also had a particular tone when he mentioned wailing on a pig for hours. I wonder if he had one in mind.
Possibly one of the greatest NL moments to ever be created. A constant avalanche of +2 and -2. Truly a pogged out event
I'm pegged the heck out
@@theplease1099 Pegged?? 🤨📸
@@theplease1099 NL viewer caught in 4K. What a psycho.
@@matthiass._. Honestly keep the freak in the sheets 😂
Sometimes I wish chat was on the yt vids.
man, I just can't get the iimage of NL repeatedly picking up a helpless sloth and slamming it on the grond while profusely apologizing outta my head.
no way is it helpless. sloths got poisonous claws. dude has no shot
Edited because typo
@@Artemis-ey4lw yea and they swipe relatively quickly with claws that can shred wood while looking for bugs
@@hybridpheonix6343 idk where the guy got that their claws of poisonous, pretty sure they aren't but also if you are fighting a sloth you arent going to be sitting there waiting for the sloth to take a swing, you could kick it in the head while its helpless on the ground and if that didnt kill it a following kick while its knocked out surely would
I haven't watched the whole video yet so this comment caused me to choke on my cereal thanks
@@Artemis-ey4lw they aren't poisonous but their flesh has algae that grows on it making them poisonous to eat, u would get an infected cut but u wouldnt be poisoned
What people don’t understand, if NL gets an early kangaroo, he’s never letting go of that, even if it never levels
36:13 NL Thinks walruses have a freezing ability like pokemon
NL fights every animal in a supposed warehouse, but when it comes to the walrus, he claims the beast would freeze him to death. Truly amazing.
He’s out here thinking it’s got the ice breath like the one Spelunky yeti
@@thunderbird0134 thats exactly what i was thinking of when he said that
I love that he can run from a panda but not a walrus
Giraffe will literally kick a hole through your chest or face
@@ned_arb For me it's the jellyfish, and the fact that it's a draw, while with a WOLF there's a chance for victory.
"A moose is a goat but 5 times bigger and the horn is directed in the right direction." I can't.
Panda take is absolutely unhinged. I love it
my man is like "20 mph? Easy."
immediately places giraffe in easy L (insert ICANT here)
@@nattteo "for as long as it takes"
@@freyafreyat to be fair the giraffe placement is absolutely correct
@@freyafreyat yeah bcs for sure you can fight a giraffe
My favorite bit is NL seeing 30mph run speed and going "BUT HOW LONG" as if he has any shot of outrunning that for *any* amount of time.
It was 30 kph so like 15 mph which is doable
Just step sideways dude
@@MetaLemonaide 18 MPH… idk
Well, it does actually matter. If there is one thing Humans have, it's endurance. Thought endurance won't really matter if an animal can catch you quickly. Like say a rhino or hippo. Doesn't matter how long you can run if it catches you while it's charging at 35mph, if even only for a minute or less. Sure the bear would be gassed after half a minute or less, but if NL can keep away for that time, he'd be good. A 3 second burst of 30mph can't beat a steady 15mph, especially if there's distance between the two.
@@ericlamb4501 A warehouse is about 100x100 ft, you can't stand at the edges because then there's nowhere to run so let's say 50ft headstart.
The speed required to overtake someone going 15mph with a 50 ft headstart in 3 seconds is 26.36mph.
Or lets say it's a 200x200ft warehouse. With a 100 ft headstart in 3 seconds is 37.73mph.
If you're slow but have better endurance, that only comes in to play when they're running from you. If they're chasing you at twice your speed? If you want to tire the animal, lets say 1 minute? You need about a 1760ft headstart. And then we're assuming it goes from 35mph to 0mph after getting sick of chasing after the minute.
A man at peak physical fitness might maybe, just maybe defeat a cassowary, if specifically trained for the task. NL: So my chances aren't great, but I could perhaps do it.
I don't think even at peak fitness you could do that. Cassowary are literally known for how aggressive they can be. The Australian government went to war with them, TWICE, and *LOST* both times.
@Eric Lamb Wasn't that Emu's they want to war with?
Or is there a second flightless bird war the Australian gouvernment fought and lost?
@@nightish_one6007 You're right, it was emus. However, both are pretty much in the same camp of "angry flightless birds w/ 6" talons"
@@ericlamb4501Yeah, they lost.
But with thousands of dead emus and zero dead humans (indomitable Human spirit was broken tho)
Emus and cassowaries are nothing alike. An emu is just a big dumb herbivore like a sheep, potentially dangerous, but managable. You can go interact with them directly in nature preserves and hand feed them.
Cassowaries are extremely agressive and good at fighting. I wouldn't fuck with one for money.
NL: I could wait until the panda falls asleep and then land a debilitating knee strike
Also NL: there is no way I could do enough damage to a camel to take it out
Dont pandas sleep in trees? He'd have to climb higher and do an aerial falling knee strike
@@legion999 in this circumstance they are in a warehouse iirc
Camels can bite your fucking head off thats a big L for anyone
Same with the crocodile
Camel take is true though. Camels, Deer, Llamas, cows. Absolutely no shot. Just absurd strength in them.
36:09
Ways a walrus could kill a man:
1. Freeze you to death (icy breath attack)
2. Bite you with teeth OR tusks
3. Roll on you
Dark Souls 2 ass boss
Him thinking the goat was his most insane take this video killed me.
The fact that he's a biology major makes his unhinged takes so much better.
We need a follow up video where he fights them all and then does a new tier list based on his experience
He will lose on the first fight.
@@HackionSTx Yeah, he would be like: "Let's start with panda, it's clearly a draw.." RIP
Punished NL rating the tier list after a pigeon pecks out his eye
+2
Somehow manages to choke on an Axolotl cause it swam into his throat
I love the idea that NL has a secret seaside warehouse where he 1v1's random pets, zoo animals and birds.
He goes 8 minutes without placing an animal on the list, a masterclass
To be fair the first animal was the most controversial one
@@calumryan6328 pandas are so deadly
@@calumryan6328 I don't get that lol, it's a damn BEAR. Doesn't matter if a panda is even remotely docile by nature, it's still a bear, still outruns people, and could easily kill you in one bite or a few swipes of it's what, 4+ inch claws? You'd have to believe Disney movies are reality if you believe you could beat a Panda with anything less than a massive caliber firearm and even then I'd probably best you before it dies.
@@calumryan6328 wtf is controversial about fighting a panda, it's a BEAR, it would fuck any human up
@@calumryan6328 The pig was a close second
"It'll push you to the ground!"
"It's not going down like that."
I like how the only argument he has about how he could beat a pig in a fight is basically that the specific pig in the image looks weak.
"I know. I know. Not this one"
I'm convinced he makes sure to have at least one insane take in these videos to get comment engagement.
There is no other way to explain the panda ranking.
And he got me with it.
This hyped me up for the video now
Mans confused a panda bear with a panda bear he saw at the zoo
The panda is easily a stalemate. He is correct that it is unlikely that the panda could catch him
@@formerlypie8781 if he had to fight it the panda would 100% catch him. The premise from the start is that he is fighting these animals not just choosing to live with it next to him. Even if he did choose to run away from the panda, he is still dying before the panda in the wild. Unless he has some survival skills that we don’t know about
The pig take is just as crazier. Both animals clear humans easy.
Vs Panda: Tie because i can run away rules don't specify that I can't, nobody says it's a cage match
Vs Goose: I win easy. Unless it runs away but we won't count that.
????
Most coherent NL tier list logic
Like I would catch up to a goose. So maybe 50/50
You think NL will lose to a knee drop to the windpipe via goose?
The premise is invalid because a goose would not run away.
@@sonofhades57 Exactly this. Geese are spiteful fuckers. He would have to kill it while it's literally biting, hitting, and scratching at him. NL would probably go down as one of the first people to die from bleeding out due to goose related injuries.
NL explains what animal abuse he could get away with, Circa 2023
"IF they were like he died fighting a racoon? It's a ghost town. No one is reading my eulogy" LMAO
NL has consistently had asinine, psychotic takes on his ability to beat various species of bear for almost a decade now
He's never seen a big pig up close either, they are fucking savage and terrifying. These fuckers will tear you to shreds before you can do anything.
To be fair. He said he gets ringed by all bears.
Pandas arnt technically bears.
EDIT: look man, in the mid 2000's it was a bit of trivia that pandas were thought to be closer to raccoons than bears. I suppose thr scientific community in the last 15 years decided that's not true anymore. I'm old, ok?
@@sonoskay giant pandas are classified as bears
@@sonoskay They're in the family Ursidae, they're absolutely considered bears
@@sonoskay maybe you're thinking about red pandas?
I love how his strategy for killing animals is picking them up and throwing them on the ground rather than stomping, crushing or strangling them. Just for that he'd lose the fight with a wolf.
Me: I want SAP
Mom: We have SAP at home
SAP at home…
Wait sap at home is an upgrade though
I just can't believe that chat can argue that NL would lose to a porcupine with no chance, but then argue that he could strike down camel legs with his bare fists and win
Great segment
Nl has no chance against a porcupine the pain of the spines impaling his leg would stop him from doing anything and he’d immediately fall to the ground and roll around screaming.
Kates POV during the panda rant is great!
link i couldn't find it
Da linky??
No link, I can't 😂
It’s on the library of Letourneau channel
"The peculiar panda parley" on the librarian's channel
I legitimately started laughing out loud when he described how he would fight a wolf.
Wait for the second animal tier list immediately after this one with cheetah and wolf rated with better odds than cow. He's genuinely rage baiting
The dog should be where the wolf is, and the wolf should be in L tier. You do not fuck with wolves.
And yes, I do mean the exact dog in the picture.
@@danatronics9039 mate I wrestle with my wolfhound, dogs aren't that strong. If you can pick an animal up with your hands, you can kill it
"You're not lifting a wolf." should read "You're not lifting a pissed off wolf." Bringing an angry animal closer to my body is a no win situation.
@Grey Dragon I think that assessment is correct.
With no tools, and only his physical strength, he is probably more likely to win against a wolf or a cheata than a cow.
That being said, his chances are basically 0 but like. You don't have a fucking shot in hell of striking down a cow. You might get a lucky blow and break bones in a wolf or cheata.
1:30 5 years ago the EGG thought it was a 50/50 shot. Character development.
I remember this at top of my mind, what was the series where he says he can win a fight against a bear?
@@HackionSTx February 20th 2017 NLSS, couldn't find the exaxt timestamp
@@IdeaOfEvil thanks, I of E. May Eggod bless you for all eternity.
My first thought when I saw the title was "how's he going to rate bears this time".
49:33
Fuckin Liu Kang over here gonna bicycle kick the pig to death, so many insane takes this vid. 10/10 incredible video lmao.
I love the inconsistent application of the "run the hell away" gambit. Once he established it's cage fight in a warehouse to explain how he's fighting the sure wins, he's lost to the panda..
Just run in circles until the panda gets tired
He’s not considering the fact that some of the ones he thinks he could easily beat may have garlic or death touch…
do you think he could beat a talking frog 🐸?
All these years, NL has never triggered me. But the, “I could outlast a panda in a war of attrition,” take is absolutely the most infuriating thing I’ve ever heard.
That’s literally what we are evolved to be though. Humans are endurance predators literally built for killing animals larger than us via attrition.
@@DannyB1111 My brother in Christ
Nah I'd win
His description about how the pig fight would go had me crying. It would take so long, it would be so exhausting, everybody would hate it. 🤣
The idea of someone repeatedly picking up and slamming into the ground a sloth made me cackle like a maniac
someone should make a tier list of how insane each NL take in this video is
people keep talking about the panda take but the real insane take is the pig
This guy has never seen a pig irl
lmao NL immediately starts huffing copium with his panda take. can't wait to hear the rest of this.
Lol true. He sees the “20 mph” and immediately moves the goalposts.
My man is right, humans have hunted things just by chasing them until they run out stamina and die of exhaustion. We have some of the longest endurance of any animal. Most animals can only go fast for a very short time. Kiting an animal until it gets tired is legit.
If you can go faster or dodge until the animal runs out of sprint energy a human will every time, not even a particularly fit person can do a slow jog for hours. You guys all getting eaten when you could win, noobs.
@@kommodore6691 and as with every other animal, the scenario isn't the fucking serengeti plains. It's an enclosed space. And NL and everyone else talking about "how long can an animal go fast for" are just huffing copium and assuming they can avoid getting cornered or caught within the sprint time of an animal. If you think you can avoid a full sprinting bear for 30 seconds in a small encloses space you're kidding yourself.
Every animal NL looks up and goes "yea they're fast but how long?". He's dead. He's in decent shape but biking on a stationary bike for 30-60 minutes ain't the same as running. He'd be gassed in under a minute of sprinting. No animal needs human endurance to hunt their prey.
@@Geblino While I agree with every other fast animal on this list being able to gore/ maul/ or rip apart NL, the panda take is one hill I'm gonna strangely die on. The panda is by far the worst bear to exist. It's a black and white dipshit animal that's too lazy to reproduce, and because it actively chooses to eat only bamboo, a nutrient-less type of grass, has no stamina. You're basing your argument on the fact it's a bear, and sure, it's built like one, but its actual stats are a fucking joke. Not to mention, NL would have to start the fight, because pandas by nature are pacifist as fuck. They have no proper natural predators cause they look scary as shit, but other than that its a teddy bear with claws.
@@Geblinopandas can barely run due to their diet and lifestyle. i read that are much like sloths and they act lazy because they don't get much nutrients from bamboo. other than baby pandas i dont think most adult pandas do any running at all
I love how he’s like for how long can they run. If they are in a warehouse it will only take those two seconds to catch him. The fastest person ever ran at like 25 mph.
Step sideways, have you seen pandas move?
@@jeremymcadam7400 no but if the average the average person runs at 8mph and a panda can run at 25mph your kinda screwed even if it takes a bit because it would probably corner you in a warehouse. Even if we say that the peloton made him run at 15mph it’s still a 10 mph gap.
@@Kamchi_KimpersonJust step aside.
NL thinking he can survive a fight against a Panda Bear is the most insane take of 2023.
panda take is the sequel to "i have 15% chance to beat a bear"
me entering a fugue state half way into this video then waking up: why is jellyfish in the draw section
He seems to think they are quasi-immortal super beings.
Jellyfish in the same tier as a panda and snakes is the funniest shit.
@@nattteo He completely forgot he can just take it out of the water and let it suffocate. Like, Yes, It's a colony so you can't cut it in half and finish the job but if the sting doesn't kill you there's no way you draw
@@nattteo tbf... they are quasi immortal super beings depending on the species...
@canox6017 you're thinking of siphonophores, not jellyfish. A jellyfish is a single animal, and is incredibly soft and fragile, you can easily squish one with one hand
Imagine having even a brief thought that you can actually take a friggin black bear and having to google that
NL: "I don't think we're creating a situation where the panda rushes me."
Also NL: *talks about poking a panda to death with a stick for 10 years*
A debilitating knee strike on its windpipe
Someone Malf managed to sucker punch and lock in a chokehold thinks he has a fighting chance at anything more dangerous than a cooked lobster. My sides left orbit when he went on the panda tangent.
"I would out maneuver a panda for sure" says the man who gave up his back to Michael fucking Al Fox.
The fact that nl claims he can run from a panda but dies to a walrus 100% of the time is wild
But you would die to a walrus 100% of the time. The panda as well, but definitely the walrus too.
38:10
"it might fall weird" AGAINST THE WOLF LMAO
Holy fuck this panda take is deranged I love this man.
like is it satire? wild take. The giraffe should be the same in his logic aha
Like he can outrun a panda forever but not an alligator🤣
Like bruh what the fuck it's a fucking bear
"Can I fight a Panda? I can run away from a fight from a Panda forever."
my man really think he can out run a Panda with a avarage sprint speed of 33KM/H, when the avarage human athlete sprints at about 30KM/H, and yes i know NL is in decent shape and he does his pelaton ride every day, but he is by no means close to an athlete
I lived on a farm my whole life and I would take my chances against a cow any day of the week compared to a pig
Cow fight strats?
@@clarkwhite998 pretty hard to knock out a cow but also most cows won't do much to you if you attack them
Same background 100% agree
Grandparents live in a village I used to go every summer. Pig killed a guarding dog when it decided to attack it for some reason.
Honestly if it was me I would grab a long stick and mount the cow to fight as a unit against the other animals.
NL using physical 100 to validate his arguments as though he is comparable to the people competing on the show is some of the finest copium available
See what you don't understand is that he bikes? Basically a trump card in all scenarios.
* NL after riding a bike for 30 minutes * A panda? Oh yeah, I have a chance...
I actually felt bad for the wrestler dude during the finale, flipping the tiles is actually a lot more involving than you think it would be. Hence why physical kids games are such a workout.
thinks he could clear a 300 pound pig, but not sure if he can beat an octopus on land lmaoooo
"There's no way a lobster's killing me."
You heard it here folks.
I'm glad I watched this live, probably the best tier list he's done with the best banter.
What i think is the most unhinged take is the octopus one, bizarrely enough. I don't know what kinda of octopus he's talking about but i think most can be simply crushed with our hands.
Being underwater is the only problem, but i don't think it goes above 50/50, even with the water advantage.
nahhhh no shot, how would you crush an octopus? they can fit through inch wide holes
@@JS55505 you can just rip it apart.
I wouldn't want to do this, but if it's really needed you can just eat live too.
Your teeth would absolutely demolish the poor octopus.
If it's a giant pacific octopus, no shot you can win. It's 4-6 meters long and up to 50 kilos. Even if you get to tear its softer mantle, you have to deal with eight tentacles made of pure muscle, and they sucker you up. Octopus can just smother your face until you drown.
@@santiagovidelaleiva I think it depends on the size and strength of the octopus. I agree that grabbing and biting is your best strategy, as long as you can overpower it.
@@santiagovidelaleiva depends on the species. no shot you kill a big octopus. pure muscle that will wrap round your face an start ripping it apart with its beak
I love how absolutely aggressive he is about the pig! Love this video!
That pig would devour him
And the tid bit about how if they got aggressive we would just genocide them in 6months but like wild hogs have been a real issue for american for decades now
The pig would just fucking eat him, it's no contest. Pigs are *mean.*
I'm crying laughing at him talking about beating a pig up
Northernlion putting the pig in the "probably win" tier shows that NL doesn't quite understand that the scary part of a wild pig isn't that it's wild, it's that it's a pig.
Pigs are fucking scary, man.
I own pigs and I respect my Boars space. They're large, emotional animals, and if they wanted to kill a human they absolutely could. Thick skin, tusks made for breaking the skin of OTHER BOARS, way faster than you'd expect, and strong enough to knock you down for sure. NL needs to respect the Hog.
A running pig just hitting you in the shins without stopping will literally break both your legs on the first try
Yeah my thoughts. My dude never saw a pig in his life. They are tanks like the rhino. Best case scenario is 50/50 but realisticly it's probably lose
@@RafaelEKHpersonally I would just use the gun I smuggled in to beat every animal in a fight
Him complaining about comparing the height of pig to man.
My dude.
Average pig kills (and let's be honest. Fuckin' eats) average man.
It's not close.
Apparently the heaviest wolf ever found was 79.4 kilos, but the mean weight is 40 kg. there's a chance against one of them.
him putting panda and jellyfish both in "draw" is the most diabolical thing he's ever done
This guy thinks he could contest a panda......WAKE UP NL ITS NOT A BIKE RIDE!
And yet a cow is somehow an EZ L. Like his strat for the panda couldn’t possibly work on a cow, but could for a fucking bear.
@@MadaraUchiha289 I mean a cow is definitely an easy L, they are huge. I think the problem is that there is a lot of variance in the easy L tier. Like, the moose is literally a living tank, but the komodo dragon is just a bad way to go. Idk why he put the Octopus there though, most octopi are pretty small.
If it was a bike ride he could totally escape a panda. 20mph isn't enough to catch up to a decent cyclist.
To be fair, panda has no fucking stamina. That 30mph is highly overblown, not to mention it can only feasibly do that for like less than a minute before it needs to eat again.
I think NL is actually rating the animals off of his super auto pets tierlist .... Thats why the takes are so insane
I think it might be more due to him having no idea about half these animals, and the fact he thinks that half the animals would actively know it's a fight to the death. For the carnivores, or particularly aggressive animals, sure, but like half these animals wouldn't even throw the first punch, much less know what's going on.
NL talking about doing a knee drop on a panda bears neck while wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt is so funny
NL vs Pig should be a sub goal, because he really doesn't understand how crushed he would be
What if he just fucking rolls the pig though. Like he just fucking gg ez the pig but didn't do that for any other animal
@@greenoftreeblackofblue6625 Cause it takes at least three to four FARMERS to roll a full grown farm pig. If NL gets anywhere close to it and tries to manhandle it, he'd end up losing some fingers.
@@greenoftreeblackofblue6625 pigs are strong, stocky, and smart dude. noo chance
NL: the Panda will never catch me.
Also NL: I will catch the meercat eventually.
I mean, it is the one thing humans are good at without the use of tools.
Humans are one the only animals that are active for 12 hours of the day.
I mean, he's right
“It’s not psi it’s in a ring”
The eagle bit might be my favorite joke of all time. Actual elder god tier stream
The fact he’s so confident against a panda BEAR and not confident he could kill one dog is crazy
I love the mental image of showing up to a big arena to watch NL fight an ant.
"we know that even a kangaroo can be dazed"
that one really got me
Except for a fight to the death, where the very next thing it does is make his insides outsides with its clawed feet
@@ericlamb4501 we have fun here Eric
"A Giant Panda can travel at speeds of up to 20 miles per hour? Okay for how long?" How long does it need? From how many miles away are you poking it with a stick?
Depends on the stick
I was simultaneously hoping this would be an hour long Tier List, and shocked that it was. Big pog
As someone who’s been on a farm with cattle and pigs, my mans ignorance is showing. He put cow in the right tier, but he completely lowballs how deadly they can be
Yeah, he realizes a bull is a clear L. a cow is a female bull.
I want a sequel with more animals.
God I wish there were a hippo on the list, I feel like we would have gotten an amazing tangent where he was like, "How could that possibly kill me? I would just dodge." And then he'd look it up and be like "Oh."
Absolutely cracks me up NL thinks he has less of a shoit against and octopus than a damn wolf.
I actually think in a 1v1 nl might edge over a wolf. They're not amazing by themselves, they're just really big dogs. If you can kick it in the jaw once before it gets onto you, you've won. NL - 55 45-wolf
@@Lucifers-Stepdad insane lol.
@@wiggie1188 they only weigh about 40kg.
@@Lucifers-Stepdad an octopus weighs like 8-10 lol
@@wiggie1188 hey man. I'm not out here defending the ramblings of an insane egg.
"for how long?" is definitely the best display of denial ever.
As funny as this is, you can tell NLs never gotten into a fight before. You can break your hand punching a human.
I don't think he understands the concept of blunt force trauma.
@@nattteo dude, he doesn't think a pig could knock you down, imagine blunt force trauma.
It makes me think of that one scene in Star Wars where a clone soldier punches a super battle droid and promptly breaks his hand before being turned into Swiss cheese by blasters. Most of these animals also have incredibly thick bones/ skulls, and NL would break his dainty lil footsies and hands the instant he tried to kick or hit them.
NL thinking he's gonna outrun a panda is hilarious. He Cleary doesn't sprint very often.
He's got a Pelaton though.
the panda copium is beyond reason
NL: Can a human beat a black bear?
random website: no way absolutely not... bears are better armed with sharp claws and 1,000psi bite force
NL: yeah but it's not psi its like, in a ring
This is a wonderful mix of perfectly reasonable and completely insane takes. The panda, camel, wolf and pig made me laugh so hard.
his complete inability to accept that a panda would be able to run him down and kill him so fast if it wanted to is absolutely hilarious
Raised sheep and pigs for many years. You would wash a goat, ez clap. Pig would roast you. You would wail and wail, he would keep taking it. Eventually he would catch one toe or a shin.... then he would literally just eat you alive.
The pig WASHES the dog btw.
@@nateseese1814 Easily. There's a reason why wild dogs & wolves are pack hunters
Oh god, are their jaws that strong?
Hypothetically, how would a trained fighter beat a pig? I imagine you'd have to tip it over before you do anything else
The goat take is honestly the craziest thing I've heard, that goat gets waxed 10 out of 10 times
How far does NL think he starts from the panda such that it running 30kmph doesn't get to him in 30 seconds?
This is my favorite NL video, and the fact that there’s a sequel is pog incarnate
Chat definitely underestimates a human
Noah’s glad NL didn’t sneak onto his ark
29:47 you can turn a shark upside down. It confuses them and puts them in a trance state. There are videos of divers doing that to aggressive sharks.
Yeah but then what, it's a fight to the death, how in the world do you kill a shark with your bare hands.
Chatter: "What if X happens!"
NL: "It's not going to go down that way."
This has to be my favorite bit lmao
The man is saying he would beat a german shepherd cause he is taller, absolutely insane take, I love it. Edit: word wrong.
wasnt it easier to delete the comment and post a new one? you had no likes or comments anyway
@@fedecano7362 I am lazy is the thing, and the one thing that popped in my head was "eh just edit it."
@@LunyDR thats fair, its faster I suppose..sometimes I find myself posting a comment several times after catching typos or grammar errors. Most of the times though I get bored mid writting and delete the whole thing 😅
Yeah, have you seen videos of police dogs? NL would get wrecked by a german shepherd any day. They're basically smaller wolves (which he has also rated too high, by the way).
@@danatronics9039 In a life or death fight it's at least a 50/50. One good kick and the German shepherd is done
all of his arguments for him beating a panda apply to the fox vs. him
animal is bloodlusted
This was one of the funniest pieces of media I have ever consumed
I was kinda doubting NL about the panda take until I googled what 30kph was in mph. That's only 18 mph. I've verifiably ran 18 mph before. Not to mention the panda would be charging, so NL can just dodge to a side. So yeah NL is 100% right that a panda would have a really hard time getting in CQC with him is his objective is to out-endure the panda.
Panda only got the psycho take because it was first, it had to be the prototype that NL used to work through the "Why would I ever approach an animal that can kill me" question, the acceptance of which is a prerequisite for making the tier list.
You fail to realize that the panda has the power of the Chinese government backing it