This is the first time I am seeing a video about attachment styles with this kind of approach. I often see videos about attachment styles and relationship - also good🙂 Thanks! Very useful.
yeah, thank you. i think this is the most important thing to take from attachment. The classifications are not the important part. How to improve security is. The thinking about classification is to help facilitate self-reflection, which is an act of careful mentalizing itself.
First and foremost thank you for your videos that are making more sense than my notes. Yes! Suddenly all my students and I became exactly that - secure, ambivalent and avoidant but this video is more helpful in undoing it and am looking forward to more of such videos. I first need to make this journey before guiding anybody else through this arduous track and gain more knowledge.
Jacob, your videos are so insightful and are hands down the best videos on the topic of attachment I have seen. Thank you so much for these. You have such a clear and concise way of explaining these topics and the illustrations are great too.
Thank you so much for this video! I realized I have a strong ambivalent attachment style and desire for consistent, healthy connections amongst others presently. However, I will be discussing this with my therapist. Thank you Dr. Jacob Ham!
Wow! Even though I am finally very aware of and in touch with the pain I´ve been escaping (and talking about....) for 55 years this was painful! Your videos are excellent!
Thank you. I'm glad you are finally experiencing the pain you needed to feel (not that I wish pain upon you). It never feels good, but feeling it deeply and coming out the other end seems to be the only way that I've ever been able to let it go and free my heart.
I'm trying to understand in which category I fit in but I seem to be in both secure AND ambivalent. Is this possible? I mean my mom was my idol when I was young and I was close to my dad until the age of 6. My relation with him just went downhill and it greatly influences my character and personality. I love my mom and hate my dad.
OH i'm sort of on the same boat as you, I don't hate my dad tho in my case more so he's mean and my moms nice, I respect my mom but I don't respect my dad. Yes, hm, you could be a fearful avoidant. Wait nvm, that wouldn't be fearful avoidant i thought you said avoidant and ambivalent. I'm not sure, do you find the ambivalence coming out when your around males more?
i´m not sure if am anxious or ambivalent. when i really like someone and want them, i become anxious, insecure and worry whenever they are avoidant and they leave me with ambiguitiy, and the more they ignore me, the more i feel like they owe me, but when the other person is anxious, i am dismissive, i dont like them too much the more attention they demand, i label them as needy and lose interest bc i feel like they just want attention but dont care bout me as a person...but at the same time i have fear of intimacy, so i go for the avoidant ones even tho i just want someone secure and available and open and easygoing, someone i dont have to overthink or wrry about bc i know they wont leave..like jesus send help
sounds pretty ambivalent, and the most important thing is to learn to be curious and kind to yourself and learn to speak and live authentically and vulnerably.
Damn this is me! 🥺🥺 Even I wonder why do Dismissive's Turn me somewhat lil anxious and with anxious one's I turn stable and Somewhat Avoidant! But this🙄 is wrong and Cruel too I feel..Now I Get that The Dismissive avoidant's Love to see that the anxious one's are anxious.. Dropping texts..Missing them.. Calling them..It's a way to be in control because they fear rejection and intimacy! Also the need for attachment is suppressed and not dominant..They also need love equally but they want to be in control so They hold back their expressions of love! Anxious one's all around the world... Plz work with your therapists and turn secure!! Don't let anyone take advantage of your open-heart🙏🏻❤😊 I want to Turn Secure myself 😊🙏🏻and even Date a secure!! Overtime My anxiety has become calm and I'm happy that I'm slowly Turning into secure! 🙏🏻😌
Your channel is very good. I have CPTSD and GAD, and trying to help myself as much as possible. I had a forceps birth and so had trauma before being born into this world. Have you got any advice on how to help someone in my situation, where you are born into trauma? Also, what about anxious attachment? You haven't covered that as far as I can see, I think ambivalent is the same as a disorganised style? And anxious attachment, that's the type of attachment I have, as far as I know. Although I recognise some of the ambivalent style in me too. It's quite normal for me to always go off on tangents and talk a lot since whenever I can remember, I think that is a trait of anxiety too?
Wow I can see how trauma can really mimic ADHD.
With my classes online, I don't have anyone to lecture to me, so these videos are my college right now. Thanks for the content.
Wow that's meaningful for me thank you
It make sense when I am stressed out I speak very fast about different topics which push away the listener except my therapist.
whats your attachment?
This is the first time I am seeing a video about attachment styles with this kind of approach. I often see videos about attachment styles and relationship - also good🙂
Thanks! Very useful.
yeah, thank you. i think this is the most important thing to take from attachment. The classifications are not the important part. How to improve security is. The thinking about classification is to help facilitate self-reflection, which is an act of careful mentalizing itself.
First and foremost thank you for your videos that are making more sense than my notes.
Yes! Suddenly all my students and I became exactly that - secure, ambivalent and avoidant but this video is more helpful in undoing it and am looking forward to more of such videos. I first need to make this journey before guiding anybody else through this arduous track and gain more knowledge.
Wow your videos are amazing, I really want to heal and help others to change their attachments styles to more secure. Thank you so much.
Jacob, your videos are so insightful and are hands down the best videos on the topic of attachment I have seen. Thank you so much for these. You have such a clear and concise way of explaining these topics and the illustrations are great too.
thank you! I try really hard to make sense of things and hope it shows.
Thank you so much for this video! I realized I have a strong ambivalent attachment style and desire for consistent, healthy connections amongst others presently. However, I will be discussing this with my therapist. Thank you Dr. Jacob Ham!
I'm glad that will hopefully help you on your journey
This is very interesting, makes allot of sense
So, yeah. I’m always stresses when talking to people.
Thank you, I appreciate your help!
Thanks for this.... very clear
I think a lot of people diagnosed with. AD(H)D actually is has anxious attachment..
That's true I bet too
These are brilliant videos, thank you!
Wow! Even though I am finally very aware of and in touch with the pain I´ve been escaping (and talking about....) for 55 years this was painful! Your videos are excellent!
Thank you. I'm glad you are finally experiencing the pain you needed to feel (not that I wish pain upon you). It never feels good, but feeling it deeply and coming out the other end seems to be the only way that I've ever been able to let it go and free my heart.
why are you not talking about anxious? (Im sorry it's just when i learn about this there were also anxious). Have you study about it?
Anxious refers to both insecure styles, so it's anxious avoidant and anxious ambivalent.
Lmfao.... Ya I'm not the secure conversationalist lol...
Accurate 💯
I'm trying to understand in which category I fit in but I seem to be in both secure AND ambivalent. Is this possible?
I mean my mom was my idol when I was young and I was close to my dad until the age of 6. My relation with him just went downhill and it greatly influences my character and personality. I love my mom and hate my dad.
OH i'm sort of on the same boat as you, I don't hate my dad tho in my case more so he's mean and my moms nice, I respect my mom but I don't respect my dad.
Yes, hm, you could be a fearful avoidant. Wait nvm, that wouldn't be fearful avoidant i thought you said avoidant and ambivalent.
I'm not sure, do you find the ambivalence coming out when your around males more?
i´m not sure if am anxious or ambivalent. when i really like someone and want them, i become anxious, insecure and worry whenever they are avoidant and they leave me with ambiguitiy, and the more they ignore me, the more i feel like they owe me, but when the other person is anxious, i am dismissive, i dont like them too much the more attention they demand, i label them as needy and lose interest bc i feel like they just want attention but dont care bout me as a person...but at the same time i have fear of intimacy, so i go for the avoidant ones even tho i just want someone secure and available and open and easygoing, someone i dont have to overthink or wrry about bc i know they wont leave..like jesus send help
Theres a great book called fear of intimacy by Robert Firestone and he talks about some of the problems you face.
sounds pretty ambivalent, and the most important thing is to learn to be curious and kind to yourself and learn to speak and live authentically and vulnerably.
Damn this is me! 🥺🥺
Even I wonder why do Dismissive's Turn me somewhat lil anxious and with anxious one's I turn stable and Somewhat Avoidant! But this🙄 is wrong and Cruel too I feel..Now I Get that The Dismissive avoidant's Love to see that the anxious one's are anxious.. Dropping texts..Missing them.. Calling them..It's a way to be in control because they fear rejection and intimacy! Also the need for attachment is suppressed and not dominant..They also need love equally but they want to be in control so They hold back their expressions of love! Anxious one's all around the world... Plz work with your therapists and turn secure!! Don't let anyone take advantage of your open-heart🙏🏻❤😊
I want to Turn Secure myself 😊🙏🏻and even Date a secure!! Overtime My anxiety has become calm and I'm happy that I'm slowly Turning into secure! 🙏🏻😌
Wow.. this is amazingly accurate
Cool, thanks for the feedback.
Wow very interesting!
What if ambivalent is also adhd or autism?
Informative and accurate...
So interesting!
surely wish that brain and mind were differentiated---"mind" is so much more than the brain
Thank you! Your videos with truly fascinating. Greatly appreciated!
Glad you like them!
Love your videos. Please do more.
but what about the fearful avoidant?
Great videos, thanks a ton. Priceless!
What about anxious preoccupied? Not ambivalent.
They are the same thing, different researchers.
3:20 - Correlation between avoidant attachment styles and alexithymia?
interesting question. i don't know the answer.
What's alexithymia?
Your channel is very good. I have CPTSD and GAD, and trying to help myself as much as possible. I had a forceps birth and so had trauma before being born into this world. Have you got any advice on how to help someone in my situation, where you are born into trauma? Also, what about anxious attachment? You haven't covered that as far as I can see, I think ambivalent is the same as a disorganised style? And anxious attachment, that's the type of attachment I have, as far as I know. Although I recognise some of the ambivalent style in me too. It's quite normal for me to always go off on tangents and talk a lot since whenever I can remember, I think that is a trait of anxiety too?