How to Know When It’s Really Over
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- Опубликовано: 23 авг 2024
- On today’s show, we hear about:
A man totally blindsided when his wife asked for a divorce
A woman who can’t stop comparing herself to her sister
A teacher wondering if it’s time to quit
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I was a virgin on my wedding night and so was my first husband. fast forward 7 yrs and I found out he was a porn addict when we married and was now a full fledged serial cheater, acting out porn fantasies. He had ads for sex on Craigslist and all kinds of stuff that really creeped me out. I honestly think it’s healthier to date and be intimate in a safe way with a real woman who you actually care about than to remain a “virgin” by binging on porn all the time. Porn feeds a lot of unhealthy fantasies that a healthy marriage is almost impossible to satisfy. I think I’ll teach my two sons to find real relationships and avoid porn
Kindergarten teacher caller
I have a LOT of ex teacher friends who hit their teacher wall. System is SO broken. They all hit their wall at 7-9 years. They are all ex teachers now.
The trauma of the lady comparing herself to her sis also came from observing how her dad was a dad for the twins he had later but not to her. The comparison started there, why she didn’t deserve his affection and love but they did. I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for every one of us dealing with some sort of childhood trauma in our grown up lives. But that is life, that is how we evolve and be more whole.
Addiction stays active when they are hidden in secret.
I identify with the teacher so much!! It's insane. I saw a 1st grade teacher's knee replacement get ruined with a kick from a 6 year old. There's no "they're only..."
You are an incredible husband for being kind and safe for your wife, Jack! It sounds like you two are gonna be solid gold if you both put in the work.
To the teacher-Find a private school that doesn't tolerate that behavior. There are some out there :-) My daughter went to one.
I'm so proud of the first caller. For a spouse to be a safe place for his spouse is HUGE!!
My husband and I have no secrets, we are wholly honest with each other, share everything and when one of us hurts the others feelings or there's any hurt feelings at all or emotions (between us or from an outside source) we share it as soon as we are aware of it enough to share. It keeps us connected, we trust each other....and after practicing in the beginning, it's as easy as breathing now!
This callers wife sounds like she's been abused somehow. I've been where she is....trying to be someone you're not for fear of being rejected. Or feeling like love from anyone is conditional so you try to morph into someone you _think_ Will be loved, accepted and for someone to stay.
It's a hard road of healing but it's possible!!! ❤❤❤❤
So proud of you and your wife, caller!!!
Wifey Pooh is a liar she hoped he would divorce her after she said that about her getting her cheeks slapped before marriage. She has another dude
A Teacher Wondering If It’s Time To Quit... should have been your headliner, so that it can be easily shared! Especially with teachers that feel helpless throughout America and who are quitting in droves, creating a shortage. FYI: Good teachers want to teach and not babysit the bad behaviors of a few. Their hearts are breaking for students who want to learn, and who find themselves in unsafe classrooms with chaotic conditions. Assaults and abuse are common in America's classroom, where the law does not apply to protect kids and their teachers. Even principals are retiring early, as there is no remedy with the current 'woke' school boards. However, the quality of the learning environment has the attention of some parents who are on the ballot this election year to bring back sanity and structure to the classroom. Keeping our good teachers from quitting is paramount. Thanks Dr. Delony for bringing to light this important topic.
Dr John, you hit the nail on the head regarding weak, cowarding administration. Teachers are physically and mentally beat up far too often, but the worst is when they know they don't have support from their administration. This is a problem...a big problem. We have lost community and school/home partnerships, which we all know is so important for the success in the the classroom. It has become an us verse them at a dangerous level. Our children are our future, why aren't we better protecting and fostering their education and their teachers better than we are?!
And with all the woke stuff going on, schools and otherwise, we often cannot punish or suspend certain groups of students, so they learn that they can misbehave and get away with it, now and later in life. Then we have gangs and riots everywhere, and the judges just let them go. So much needs to be done here!
Agreed. Friend of mine worked for a university with a similar problem. Administration took the side of the student, even though my friend had proof of the student's reckless behavior.
That's why I will NEVER, EVER teach in the USA.
Why? Greed, money, dishonesty…
I’m
I have high hopes for the man who called about his wife declaring divorce.
Please create a highlight on the teacher call. I wanna share it with my network of teacher friends! Thanks, John!
Wow. This one made me cry. I love how they are fighting for each other and being honest 😭🥰
Oh my gosh Dr. Delony- thank you thank you for your wisdom and candor.
Being a educator in the kindergarten I've seen that. In my school those there are on call specialized educators who take the trouble kids out... You can't just let those kids do whatever without intervening !!
The first caller is a good husband
I just preordered John’s book today. Looking forward to reading it. My son has been on heavy dosages of drugs for his severe anxiety disorder for several years and my daughter also has anxiety issues that she deals with without medication. This book will also benefit me with whatever issues I might have. Thank you John.
I have been on anxiety meds since I was 13 and I am 46. Ask and I have probably been on it. When I was a kid I was on heavy medication and walked around like a zombie. After all of these years none of the medications seem to work all that well. I hope your children find peace and I hope that this book helps. I plan on buying this book as well. I know how horrible it is to be young with anxiety.
The 2nd caller needs to continuously reassure herself about her positive qualities because some people won't be your hype squad. She may not get praise from others about what she does well. That would help with her self esteem.
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I relate to this so hard. My dad and mom divorced when I was 5 and I was a daddy girl. All the sudden he was gone and I only saw him a few times a year. I wished my dad was around for me when I was growing up. He was there to take me on trips and take me out, but he wasn’t there for the personal life. He didn’t know old men were messaging me online at 12. He wasn’t there at any school dance or any day to tell me i look pretty. Just creepy old men online is all I ran to for comfort. Now that I’m older I realize I just needed my dad and he was so distant. I’ll still never have the dad that talks to me. He doesn’t even know me it feels like. But he’s close with my half siblings who live by him. He’s so happy with them and it’s like I’m forgotten. He helps when I ask but they’re happy without me
You have to be aware of your needs and not get into this noble/humble/sacrificing teacher thing. This is what put my mother in an early grave - staying too long in a career and school situation that no longer served her or her students. I never was interested in teaching but did it for 10 years overseas to earn money for a project I was doing. I'm not naming the country because I don't want to get into all that. Long story short: There was one school that I was doing well in, but I began to see some negative cultural forces closing in, so I left. It could be said that it was easy for me to walk as I was single person, but the challenge was the same. You have to guard your mental and emotional well-being no matter where you are or what you do. Stop, think over options, rest, and go from there, but do not stay where you are not respected, wanted, or protected.
If I’m correct, I would say this teacher is looking for someone to tell her that it’s okay to get out.
Most of the teachers that I know are servants, people pleasers, and sometimes co-dependent.
I think when a lot of teachers say they love the job, it’s because it’s where they get validation.
I wish we could stop this, and stop associating teachers with their “servant hearts” so that they feel free and okay to do what is healthy.
“Luckily, it’s just you and me, man.”
John cracks me up 😂
Proud of this couple for the honesty!
Good morning from Michigan!
Good morning from Oregon!
Love this show.
Own it fulfilled and joyful 🥰🎉
I have a friend whose wife "declared divorce", and then she just let him make all the necessary steps to separate. He even went out and bought a second house to live in, while keeping and paying for the mortgage of their marital home. Tbh i dont even know if yhey ever filed all the paperwork for divorce because it was all on him and he's held out for her for a while now.
That is so sad, for him especially but also for her. Been married for 23 years and we’ve definitely experienced our share of struggles and hardships. We have considered divorce a few times, once when I was unfaithful and once when he was. The time I was occurred early on in our relationship and his was uncovered last year having occured the prior 6 years. It certainly isn’t easy but this sounds pointless to me.
That's so hard to watch. My mom "declared divorce" and ran away while accepting all the perks, too. It was soo ugly to witness and it gave her husband and my family a better foothold as we supported him to file papers. It wreaked havoc on his hopeful soul.😥
I have to DISAGREE with Dr. -This will ONLY work IF she wants it to work. When someone comes to you with a promise of divorce, this is NOT THE TIME to play "pick me". Her "not being a virgin" admission is a smokescreen for something else. I believe she wants OUT, for whatever reason. Perhaps counseling will help; I think this is a stopgap solution & further down the line, she will have ANOTHER problem with the relationship. I hope I am being pessimistic...
You are absolutely right, most likely she was already cheating and other guy left her when she said that she is living husband.
I agree, i think dr got distracted in the conversation and forgot how that issue began in the first place
Yeah she isn't satisfied with her life...she thinks it will be better somewhere else. It won't.
Agreed. I think when the doctor asked the caller if his wife had any relief after she revealed her truth to him and he sounded unsure, that kind of gave it away. I mean at the end of the day, it's not that big of a deal what she told him.
Where you guys get your education?
The wife of the first caller 🤔
I feel like there's more to her story not being told...yet anyway.
@@SarahConnor562 Right!? There's definitely more to it... When a woman decides to leave her marriage, clearly it's been something she's decided already... Aka checked out.
Definitely! Sounded like a very weak attempt at unloading a small amount of a much larger hidden burden she’s carrying. I bet this was a tester case for her to see how he’d react. Entry level.
I concur-see my comment above...
I said I wanted a divorce, and was at the solicitors the next day 😂 And my life is INFINITELY better without the alcoholic abusive man in it. It's not always the way you say!
First caller needs a PI, just in case.
Nah, if there's not trust, build something else.
42:47 Teachers are required to deal with all students. You cannot just say "I do not deal with kids that spit on me". Those kids have to go to some classroom. You can only pass the buck. You can't refuse them. There could be alternative schools, but those teachers will have to tolerate that. This is what teachers have to deal with now.
And this is why parents need to be better
@purelightapologetics4930 There are kids that will do that regardless of the parents' involvement. Administrators need to support teachers and parents when children need to transition to more specialized programs.
@@mariee.5912 I think it’s a both-and situation. Parents need to do a better job and administrators need to have their teachers backs.
@@purelightapologetics4930 agree, but I am saying it in the sense that there children that just need a smaller settings and administrators and parents think that a teacher can fix it. My son has a one to one in school. He would not be able to be in a regular class no matter how much I can talk to him or how many strategies his teachers can come up with.
@@mariee.5912 Honestly, I think most parents should homeschool their children. I understand there are circumstances in which they can’t, but I think those should be the exception and not the rule. If more parents homeschool their children, it might leave more resources for teachers to take care of the children who can’t be.
Lots of truth in this video, but i think Justin Jefferson will have a better year than Cooper Kupp, especially with Kupp coming off that ACL injury.
If she is HAPPy in a WONDERFUL marriage this is NOT even a ISSUE- Theres something DEEPER her for her to say Hey I am gonna leave my HAPPY Marriage cause I was not a virgin when we got married - come on Dr John- theres more here- she got another guy or something
That first guy. Damn damn damn, what an amazing human being.
35:07 What admin will remove "those kids" from the learning environment? None that I know of. That's not how schools operate anymore.
That first caller I just knew he was gonna say a porn addiction.
He left us 9 months ago. The problem is we are separated but we work together everyday. He wants hugs and kisses at work but nothing after hours. He said he likes being alone and he is just trying to be nice to me. I gave him divorce papers because he was never going to do it. But he will not sign then. He calls me and text me all the time and very jealous of me. He tells me I can just move on but how. I have tried everything to get him back but he is so cold. He has cut me off sexually and emotionally for 9 months. Not caring of of my emotions. He is selfish. Please help what should I do ?
I wish I could order John's book - I am in Scotland, UK.
I had a struggle with comparing, but since learning more and more of who I am in Christ, it’s not so much of an issue.
Something about this guy sounds like he is super condescending. Just the tone in the voice. He’s not innocent here. He needs to speak about how he is in the relationship
Just wondering if your book can be shipped to Australia? 🤔
I downloaded the Kindle app, then bought his books of Amazon and they automatically upload to the Kindle app.
I recall the wife calling into the show prior to this call…
That women was hoping he would file for her and then she would say he filed for divorce to pursues porn addiction
1st caller cheated. She emotionally manipulating him. Good luck bro.
First callers wife definitely getting side work done.
Bru 😭
I don't think we can blame the administration, its totally a parenting issue. Parents have more information and coaching than ever and kids behavior is just getting worse. I believe its a combination of the fear of discipline (largely brought on by psychological babble taken out of context) and daycare in the early years. There is a lot of research on the downfall of daycare centers and just common sense tells me that daycare combined with passive parenting is a recipe for disaster.
First caller wife not fulfilled sexualy
So basically you are not into imclusion in schools? When you have children who have trauma, Autism or ADHD there is disruption. It will get better when the parents and schools work together. If itnot getting better better the teacher and EAs are missing the triggers that occur in the classroom. If you love your job, then you must understand how young children learn to regulate. No one regulates 100% on their own. Children Need safe adults to help them regulate. If the kids aren't regulating- it's the adults issue.
It’s the parents issue (not any adult’s). Parents are responsible for teaching their children how to behave and values. It’s impossible for a teacher with 10-20 children in their classroom to do that work.
From what I heard from the 2nd guy was. She wants to or fantasizes about other men. I’d play the roll but I would deep dive that. There’s bound to be other signs. Ain’t no way a wife would lie about virginity and want to divorce over it. A wife best attributes is her chastity and service if that ain’t happening move on.
Is your buddy single? lol 😆
❤
She is cheating on you guy...a liar will always be a liar 😢
Dear the great, amazing, fantastic Dr.Deloney,
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Your 1 billionth fan
Lemme guess the woman wants a divorce.....
She's for the streets. 😂