Wherever Hossain and his wife and children are now, I hope they are healthy and happy. Thank you Hossain and your wife for being so courageous - it clearly shows how these things can happen, and how they should never, ever be swept under the carpet. This film, as an example, will help thousands and no doubt will save lives.
@@jasminealixandranorth You could call it that but it isn't that simple like that. It is part of the culture and how you are socially expected to behave. It is not her place to shame her son even more. In the beginning Hoessein told this made him lesser man in their culture. Why it is hidden and secret. The way you react would not be conductive to heal this type of problem. His mom was 16 and basically grew up with him and her children.
In Brazil, there is an alarming issue where underage boys face harassment within schools, often at the hands of older students, yet this remains largely an unspoken reality. Several teachers have shared with me their concerns about this disturbing trend. I was deeply dismayed to learn of a specific incident involving a 6-7-year-old boy who fell victim to sexual assault in the school bathroom, perpetrated by an older student. The seriousness of such incidents demands urgent attention and a collective effort to address this pervasive problem that is causing immeasurable harm to the well-being of young students.
I wouldn't be surprised. Both are very religious societies. Both Islam and Christianity prevent sexual education which means, victims do not get even the vocabulary to report abuses.
@@herekitty791 women?? Im so confused by that figure. Inforget with such surveys though even are skewed by England as opposed the the other UK nations. Who knows but that figure seems off. If that's women what's the figure for men? Wow
I am bothered at how his parents couldn't comfort him as he was telling them of his childhood's reality, but instead moved on with the story of the theft of the mum's jewellery. I wish you love and light Hossein. I really hope you find the healing you deserve.
Unfortunately, it is also commonplace in Pakistan. My friend only recently discovered that two of his uncles had not only abused him but also his brother and several cousins. Despite this, and the fact that it happened over 35 years ago, my friend still suffers guilt. He was a young child but he blames himself to this day. I am the only person he has told, even knowing his own brother suffered has not made it possible for him to say anything. It is not restricted to Muslims either, as some comments suggest. In the 1930s, my late father was abused by his parents in England. He never recovered. We only found out when he was in his 70s, and a television programme on the topic triggered him into revealing what had happened. I was also abused by older boys at school but gained strength from the experience. I fought back when they came again, and I fought to protect my friends. Despite fighting back, I look back with great sorrow on the events. I hope that anyone who has experienced this can find the courage to talk to someone. For my father, it was too late to achieve much, but my friend has told me that having told me, he feels less guilt and shame. Keeping it inside yourself will do you no good. Find someone that you trust and talk about it.
youre an amazing person to not only have been there for your friend, but also to have not used your trauma to inflict more on someone else. hurt people hurt others. youve made a difference. i appreciate you.
I find it incredibly courageous of Hossein to confide in his parents (for the second time). It was shocking that his mother didn't remember it. His father and mother didn't apologize for not supporting their son back then and also wasn't really supporting him today either. Maybe doing chores and fulfilling the duty as a breadwinner was all they focused. Still, this was very painful to watch. Hope Hossein find strength again that has been always inside of him.
I think the parents simply did not (and still don't) possess the emotional maturity to talk about such tabu themes as sexual abuse, didn't show any openness to make amends with the past while they simply dismissed it, disregarding the psychological well being of their son. Which, in its turn, is usually seen as a superficial necessity in many cultures
This was one of the most heart wrenching. Thank you Elahe for making this film happen. Across the world no one is talking about the sexual abuse/trade of boys. Thank you both for making this deep dark painful video. I uncovered a film called Bacha Bazi many years ago, and had no idea that this was something that was happening in the Mid-East. This is not a problem of the mid-east it is a world-wide problem. The Mid-Eastern tenacity to ignore it is relentless. Thank you for sharing your pain and confrontation with your family. While it seems nothing was solved to the average viewer, this was a major mental-wellness barrier to cross. I can never know this man's personal pain. There have been times when I've shared things with my parents about troubling instances in my childhood, and was left feeling immensely alone in my feelings. I don't blame my parents or his parents, they are only functioning with the enculteration they were brought up with. THIS FILLM WAS WAY TOO SHORT! I WANT TO KNOW IF HIS PARENTS ARE GOING TO SUPPORT HIM ON HIS WELLNESS JOURNEY, IF HE HAS SOME AWAKENING TO HIMSELF AND A RESOLUTION THAT WILL SATISFY HIS LIFE. PLEASE DO A FOLLOW UP. Pehaps even do some pre-quel, so we can get a grasp on how y'all came to the decison of shooting this short film and then what's next. I love you Hossein, because I am broken boy too. I love you Elahe for your bold compassion.
You can also point out that it is part of Asia. However that doesn't matter. Culturally and politically Afghanistan, Iran and Pakistan are considered part of the Middle East. Those 3 countries share many of the same problems, including this one. Geography is not the point of this film however.
Pakistan is hardly ever considered part of the middle east and Afghanistan rarely is either. Culturally Pakistan is South Asian and not middle eastern.@@spinkid2000
@@hanifleylabi8628these countries are all under the umbrella of Islam, so culturally they are extremely similar. It is not about geographical location.
Thank you so much for sharing this Hossein, must be incredibly hard. You and your wife really are lucky with finding each other and feeling open enough within the relationship to not only you sharing that with her, but also making this story heard. ❤ More and more men finally feel the courage to share their experiences like you. One of my customers shared a similar story, being sexually assaulted by men and women throughout his childhood. I'm absolutely shattered by the thought people scar these kids day in and day out. Seeing what that does to someone, mentally, physically, emotionally, the whole shabang is just heartbreaking.
Man, you're so brave for telling this story, hopefully this has lightened the load a bit for you a helped on your journey to work through this trauma. The main theme aside, the rest of the video was amazing from the conversations and the choice of scenes. More strength to you.
I grew up in Mexico in a small town and this video brings back so much trauma when I was a child I was abused by many older men especially my dad’s friends when they would drink at our house and I remember telling my parents and my mom dismissing me like nothing and my dad being angry and telling me to be a man and tough till this day as a adult my parents still refuse that anything happened I found out recently my two little brothers had the same problems
Пусть ваши родители останутся одни. Будучи больными и немощными, они попросят прощения. Ненадо быть слишком религиозным и прощать своих родителей,так как они привели этих злодеев в ваш дом и угощали чертей. Много монстров именно религией и призывами к добродетели, всепрощении пользуются в своих мерзких целях.Поговорите со своими младшими братьями,чтобы они не брали ответственность за дьявольских родителей. Сплотитесь с братьями, дружите семьями,а уродливых мать и отца на свалку,где им и место.🙏.Этот совет из моей жизни,когда я бросил мать-предателя в одиночестве, только тогда она поняла свою вину. Урок абсолютного одиночества показал родителю ,что ошибка и вина лишь на ней. А отца за эгоизм смерть постигла в 35 лет. Сейчас мать- прекрасная понимающая мама и бабушка
This must be one of the most difficult videos I've watched. Hussain, I'm in awe of your bravery. I can't imagine how you pluck up the courage to confront your parents! Thank you for sharing this.
@@davidkennedy6351You should stop watching this kind of programme abd insult the people, why dont you tell us where do you come from yourself, probably usa, take your hate to somewhere else
I’m almost 30 and one of my dreams is to be a dad. I cannot understand how some people can be so evil to harm a child. They are creatures who look up to adults for protection and proper love/affection. Breaking that trust is absolutely despicable and beyond my mind comprehension. So sad.
The abusers always have a way to justify their actions, and often totally believe that what they did wan't wrong. I wasn't sexually abused, but my abuse was so serious that the local 'child protection' were heavily involved. All I remember is the abusers saying over and over 'I don't know where they got that idea from' and then telling me what to say when I was asked questions. I said what I was told to say or I'd make my situation worse. When I got to thirty the idea of having kids terrified me as I believed, somehow, that maybe I'd be like my abuser. Totally irrational and one level, but it also felt like a real posibility. If it was possible for my abuser to do that to me then it was possible for me to do that too. It's horrible. I didn't have kids.
Dear Hossein, just wanted to say thank you for being so brave to share your story. I'm really sorry for what happened to you... I wish you strength and sending you lots of love ❤
Very Sad and Painful. We need more documentaries on this sensitive and tabu subject thet happenes in every culture. Vicitims suffer in silence and don't always get the understanding and support from their families.
The worst part is "The Mother". First she did not defend her kid when she learned that Husein was being sexually abused. Then the next day, she cruelly gave her innocent abused kid the guilt that "he" was doing something wrong and "I, the great forgiving mother" , chose to forgive you !!! And after all those years, when Husein opens up and shares his treacherous experience with her, she decides to deny. She immediately changes the subject. She calmly keeps cracking nuts sitting comfortably. When she observes Husein is crying and is in agony, she does not even move her f** a** !!! She tells the other kid to go grab a blanket for Husein, because he is shaking !!! Later, she tells Husein that "because of what you shared with us, you father does not feel good" !!! Again she gives another guilty feeling to Husein ..... This woman does not have any sympathy or empathy for even her own emotionally torn child !!! She consciously and deliberately chooses to deny her responsibility and continue harming Husein more and more !!! She is evil !!! UNBELIEVABLE !!!!
Excellent observation and analysis. The Mother is a Monster, and so is the Father. It would not be surprising if her other son, Mohammad, and his older friend hang out together frequently for consensual intimacy, and the parents are in psychological denial about their relationship.
While what you say might have some truth you need to look at it from a bigger perspective. The mother comes from a culture where people are unable to recognize sexual harassment or able to provide love as comfort especially to their male children. I don't blame the mother or father at all. How can they provide comfort and understanding when they have never been taught how to express those feelings before?
@uwaolive I agree. They simply did not know how to deal with it. It was too much for them to process. People have this weakness in all kinds of subjects.
I agree persian mothers typically try to divert from taboo stuff but thee fact that its the 21st century and shes still diverting from this topic disgusts me and the father aswell their more concerned about their own wellbeing than their son who has been suffering secretly for many years. I hope mohsen finds a better family
It's heartbreaking how delicate you must be of your loved ones feelings, when you yourself may feel alienated, isolated and alone from a lack of support when you need it most. The denial of his mother to even take responsibility to acknowledge his pain. And such an insightful documentary showcases a much warmer, more accepting version of this tale that many other survivors will never relish. I'm sorry this happened to you. To any of you. You deserve better. You deserve everything you aspire to. Somewhere in the world, love is radiating for your benefit.
I was abused when i was too young to understand what was happening so i don't think i will ever bring a child to this horrible world. I don't remember feeling happy in any moment of my life, that trauma won't let me.
I am also from the Qom city . I am so proud of you two Hossain and Elahe . You can not chang your past but you can chang the future . Hossein jan as I see Elahe is like a gift for you . Take cara of each other and live a full life . Thank's for your bravery .
The mother's response when he asked his younger brother (Mohammed) about the older guy he is always hanging out with. I have the feeling that it's one of those open secret things that no one wants to talk about
This film was so tenderly and beautifully made. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched the layers of pain rising to the surface in this family. I am sure so many other families around the world can relate. Very brave.
im 22 yrs old, last year i was invited to a frnz party , i was intoxicated and raped by my 2 frnz, im not gay nor im feminine , even they were not seems like that kind of people. we were really good frnz, but that day i clearly remember, after i lost my consciousness , i barely feel anything, they took me to the bed room and undressed me and then all i remember was someone thrusting on my back... in the morning i thought it might be a bad dream, but all my clothes were on except my inner wear , and when i went to toilet i saw blood drops on the toilet bleeding from by butt. then i confirmed that was not a dream, its really happened . now a days we cannot even trust our own frnz, that incident put me in a severe depression, i felt so low, i still feel so low confident, that memory gives me nightmares, i stopped meeting them, they actually talked in the morning of that day as nothing happened and even invited me so many times to parties, but i rejected .. not only women, not only children, even grown up man can be raped... there is no gender specific or gender constraint ..
You’re a brave man! I’m so sorry that you went through this trauma! I’m sure the mother felt crushed inside but this topic is so sensitive to talk in public and I’d have expected the parents to hug him and apologize to him for letting him down!
How can a mother not know? Is it easier to deny and pretend to not remember when your child was asking for your help? That you were busy with chores. Is it easier? Rather than confront the truth that you have failed in protecting your child and leave him to suffer in silence.
Oh many mothers don't know. Often their mind is incapable of that sort of imagination. My mother was close friends with my priests abusers. She would have never believed one word, if I had spoken up which I didn't.
It doesn't work like that. When a kid says someone was mean to him, the person listening will hear it as meaning teasing, or other childhood things. The reason kids don't speak up, and the reason adults don't hear, is because they don't expect a child to talk about adult things. If a child says my uncle hurt me when he touched me here (somewhere sexual) the person listening will think it was maybe part of a play fight or rough and tumble. Very few children have the language to express the sexual nature of an attack. A play therapist gave a child victim two dolls. The abused child made the dolls do the sexual things the abuser did to them. The therapist watched and understood what the child was saying. Sometimes kids who are abused act out their abuse in how they interact with other children. Mostly, they don't express the incidents in a way adults will understand and hence the memories get buried - the child is not able to process them, so they get parked. It's only in later life, often in their late twenties, that people begin to understand what happened and discover the memories. I was not sexually abused, but I was abused for a long time. I was in my thirties when I actually began to remember. When I spoke to someone else who was there, they confirmed what had happened and were able to give me more details. Basically I didn't remember anything from that time. There are chapters of my life that simply don't exist. I had problems. Depression. Alcohol. Underachievement. Guilt. Anxiety. Anger. When families are close, saying something like my uncle hurt me in the shower will be heard as my uncle was rough with me when he washed me in the shower. And as mum knows the kid doesn't like to have showers she would just think uncle 'forced' him to have a shower. So, in short, you can't expect children to talk about adult things. And you can't expect adults to listen to children and hear adult things. If mum knew these things existed, then maybe she'd have been able to ask better questions. If the child had something other than words, then maybe they'd be able to express what happened. No easy answers, but the more repressed the culture/society, the less the chance of kids talking and parents listening.
I really think the mother remembers. Her being defensive was just so cold as if she's just trying to make him stop talking about it. The parents both let it slide and started another topic very fast, and would have continued ignoring it if he hadn't brought it up again. It's so sad how lonely and unprotected he felt when he was a boy.
Hosseins's story is heartbreaking! His parents seem like they are paralyzed with a lack of understanding....they are in denial, and can't process it....hopefully they will be able to help him and themselves to come to terms with this.....
It's much more confortable for the familie to keep the air of normality than to face the problem. Something similiar happened to me when I was at school, I was bullied a lot, told my parents but they thought it was normal. This goes beyond gender, religion, culture, etc is the fear of the shame your child is bringing home.
Thank you for your bravery in sharing this story. You already have the support from your loving sister. That’s already a blessing. Here’s wishing you and your family a wonderful year ahead.
Oh, got chills…so many people had that trauma but never spoke up…what a good film…Gosh…now I need to process this…thank you for uploading this precious film…respect to everyone who made it…
The mum is being ignorant and utterly disgrace to be called a mom,she’s lieing probably because it’s her own brothers that were doing it,she don’t deserve to be called a mum
My uncle abused sexually of me but When I faced him about it he told his brother I was lying. No one belived me. So there's not reason why somebody should claim something. At the end few people are going to belive and even if some of them belive you they aren't going to say anything. I don't mind to get a guilty but to have peace in my mind to be free and not having such adiction problems as an adult. Sadly I'm not the only one, mos of the people who have been abused never say anything it's much more what you lose than what you 'earn". Actually you don't obtain anything.
@@M-gp4cwA good parent would believe their child and discard anyone even if it is an uncle if they are a threat to your child. As a parent, nothing should come before your child
She is just as conditioned as the rest of that society to turn her eys way and not address these taboo things...she couldn't do anything about it anyway as a woman in such a society.
Thank you so much for sharing your heartfelt words. Hossein, your resilience is truly incredible, and I am deeply moved by your courage to amplify the voices of those who suffer in silence, not just in Iran, but across the globe including me. let's work creating a home, place, sociaty where children, teenagers, adults in general-regardless of gender, skin color, or religion or whatever-can thrive not overcome that such a step a step long journey and I actually let myself cry a bit more than the last time and say again you don't overcome that this... u live with it, you cry with it share with other's people and it's groowing more conscious and intent to the life of the present. Let's strive for humanity, for a quality of life that doesn't just focus on survival but on truly living. Let's break free from the chains of oppression and build a world where we can all feel human, where monsters no longer dictate our existence. I'm on time to be more conscious about life and myself and people in my situation, what I could do for them. Thank you, once again, for your powerful words. They've ignited a fire within me to be an agent of change, to stand up for what's right, and to fight for a world where everyone can live with dignity and freedom. Let's join hands and make it happen.
@@WambedeDickson-wr7gk the family is such a ignorance members, 'cause the social -political established is predominant in social life. It happens in different part of this world. Even in Usa.
Hi Hossein. You are strong, stronger than those cowards. You are resilient and extremely brave. Keep going for all the survivors, and alm their families and friends
Hossain, you telling your story brought tears to me. You are so brave! Your a beautiful soul who endured something horrible that wasn't your fault. Now your story could help other children and families, maybe even save lives. Im so proud of you for talking to your parents and taking the big steps towards healing. God Bless you 🙏
خیلی دردناک هست. کاش تعداد بیشتری از مردم ببینند این فیلم داکیو مِنتری رو. This is heart-wrenching to watch. I hope more people living in Iran will watch this and raise awareness.
Thanks a lot for taking the time to comment. We kindly ask our viewers to comment on our channel in English so that we can answer questions and encourage dialogue. Thank you and all the best, The DW Documentary Team
@@DWDocumentary Noted. I wrote it in Farsi intentionally to increase the chances of being seen by Iranians living in Iran. I will add an English translation to my original comment.
RUclips has automatic translation anyways. I think we need to encourage people writing in their own languages. Imperial languages are not always the answer, especially with nowadays translation tools. @@DWDocumentary
@@jaimepe4765 I totally agree with you. I myself have replied to comments for which I used RUclips translation tools. I don't think using language other than English will discourage dialogue amongst viewers. It is probably just one of their internal policies.
I'm glad that you could finally tell what you survived. We know it took a lot of courage to do so. So proud of you. Keep going. Don't let this trauma define your life.
Hossain I’m very proud of you. So sorry you had to carry this around all these years. You’re are beautiful soul don’t ever forget it. Thank you for sharing your private moments with your family. Good luck to you . ❤
What's really scary is that this happens in every country: the cycle of abuse, suppression of information, and blaming of the victim. The only way we can fight this cycle is by talking about the abuse and exposing perpetrators.
Much respect to Hossein and his family for sharing the story with us. I hope they come to fully believe that it was not any of their fault that abhorrent things had been done to Hossein by the vile men, and that Hossein is not defective in any way. I know many women from all cultures who are dating/married to men with prior sexual abuse history. May the Lord help Hossein and his family heal and protect them as this story is shared on the webs.
I went to uni in Iran and was engaged there and had two really close guy friends from the family. All three of those young men told me they had been abused, raped, whatever. Each (at a different time) told me it had been done at school by older boys or at some religious classes. I was so shocked and so pained for them. And now it's almost 50 years later and I still can hear their three different voices and their feelings behind their truth tellings.
It is heartbreaking for a child to go through such painful and soul-scaring experiences, only to find out that his parents would attempt to dismiss his pain to keep a straight face for the world to see! 😢
Wow, what an unsatisfactory response by Hossein's parents, to say the very least! But in a country as repressed as Iran, perhaps it is not surprising that they are completely unequipped to deal with this matter. Thank you for sharing this, and all the best to you. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
Another truthful introduction documentary about shameful, abnormal, taboo deals ( boys abuses ) in Iran and other nearby countries. Documentary shared by an amazing ( DW) channel. Documentary showed how much that man suffering mentally and carried trauma feelings in his under consciences ...
Its very hard for a parent to face the shame of their failure but for the deep love of your child you must do it. Sadly is parents did not help him heal and make it right.
Reminds me of the story about " Dancing boys " in Afghanistan. Something about that mid-east region is culturally skewed. I think this is more pervasive than we realize.
You can legally marry an underage child in 14 states of the US. This same stuff happens at the hands of priests just as much. There is no magical force field around western nations that protects them from abuse against children.
This was such a difficult journey, filmed and told so beautifully. We wait so long to tell our truths, because we've allowed the fear of what might result grow and grow so long that it scares us more than even death. Uttering the words takes such courage but brings such relief. It's like draining a wound that started as a bad cut, but grew more infected the longer we left it untreated, slowing killing the soul. So amazed by Hossain's joy despite pain, humor despite worry, and most of all his bravery in living his truth.
As a parent…don’t say you opened up wrong! Just apologize and say…what can I do now. I don’t think this kind of interaction was in his parents knowledge of what is possible…just denial. Hopefully they figured it out in the end.
This is a surprising situation. What are young boys doing on crowded trains? In large cities? Commuting to school and back home without their parents? Have you witnessed this, or do you know someone who experienced it? Is there a documentary about crowded trains in India? Any links would be appreciated. Peace.
Addressing the sensitive issue of sexual abuse of boys, I want to emphasize that not everyone in Iran is highly religious. The individuals consistently wearing headscarves and chadors are becoming the minority. The majority of Iranian people are not religious. The portrayal of mosques, mullahs, and the call to prayer (adhan) in the documentary aligns with the image the government wants to present of Iran.
That seems to be true. Fortunately so. But not being religious still does not keep one from being influenced by the thinking that religion cultivates. As a lifelong atheist, I would say that includes me as well, being brought up in a dominant christian society. The shame around sexuality and the incredibly flawed thinking that religion spreads are doing damage even with non-believers.
I believe Qom is a bit different, as it is known as the Vatican of Shia. Just like the Vatican, you can see a lot of Christianity symbols in the city more than any other countries, in Qom you can see symbols such as mullahs very frequently. Also almost in the all cities of the Middle East, regardless of whether people are religious or not you still hear calls to pray because there are a lot of mosques around. Just like European cities where there is a lot of church around, regardless of many people being atheist. What I receive from the film, which is a very strong aspect of the film is that the documentary is trying to say sexual abuse is happening everywhere even in a city with that level of religious. I don't think the doc is trying to say people of Iran are religious, or unlike some other comments, I don’t think the doc tries to say that is the fault of religious that sexual abuse is happening- because the sexual violence is happening everywhere. But I think it tries to say sexual abuse is happening "even" in such strong religious families and citifies too. So we should think about something more than just religious lessons in the schools that we see in the beginning of the film.
@sepidehsabour6366 you’re missing the point. This is set in Qom which happens to be the most religious city in Iran. While this issue is commonplace everywhere in Iran, it’s worse in more religious communities. A combination of unreasonable restrictions on normal consensual sexual release and the overall hypocrisy of such communities are perfect breeding grounds for child sexual abuse.
My very sincere compliments to you Hossein. You have shown so much strength. What you had experienced in childhood is a very common tragedy, not only in our society but I want to say in Life, in general. It is very unfortunate and painful, but it is very common. Every society has this dilemma. Treasure your wife; your wonderful parents. All of You guys in this video are of high quality people. There is so much Love among you all. Bless, & Bliss. ❤
This was painful to watch, because I'm American woman and I experienced much the same. I had the same memory loss, and I had the same shame of what I had let happen to me. I was six. Like I had a choice or a chance. You don't when you're a child, but I still blamed myself. I never told because I was so ashamed. I am angry at the reaction of Hossain's parents when he told. I don't remember from his mother and I did my best, I thought I was your friend from his father. But no compassion for him now. The man who was the boy who experienced all that. So he's still alone. I want to tell him he's not alone. There's a man here in the US who teaches and counsels people for free on RUclips, Patrick Teahan, and the community of us abused and damaged people there find a lot of freedom in just talking to other people who understand. Some are just supportive, some have good advice, but we're the only people we know who we can really talk to, because the rest of the world wants to pretend we don't exist. Tell him to look us up.
The strange paradox of the RUclips algorithm put this documentary on my feed, it was truly fascinating, whilst the effects of the taboo subject was done tactfully and sincerely, showing the horrors of abuse that stays with victims for years and perhaps forever. Very well presented and nicely edited. Thank you 🙏
I don’t believe that the mother didn’t know. Perhaps she just wasn’t able to deal with it. But the parents’ reaction when Houssein told them was weird. There must be cultural differences (I’m English) but if my son told me that I’d be murderously furious at the perpetrators and immediately want to know what I could do to help him. They were clearly upset but didn’t validate and support him they just made excuses. Bizarre to say the least and deprived Houssein of closure.
It's definitely a cultural thing I think. She had her first kid at 16 in a very repressed culture that can't even accept married couples holding hands in public. I'm sure her mind immediately shut down the minute Hossein tried hesitantly to tell her what had happened to him. Very sad. We do a lot of things wrong in the west, but I think we at least have gotten better at understanding abuse and making efforts to communicate with our children about it.
Crimes of this type committed against an innocent are of a most grievous nature and demonstrate an almost unbelievable evil within the perpetrator. Sadly, once done cannot ever be undone, no matter the amount of therapy processes - that person will always have the scars within them. Truly sad
It is so sad for the mother to say she didn’t remember, or blame the victim that HE should have been “more straight with her”. He was a child! It was her responsibility as a parent to pay attention and investigate his claims. This makes me so sad for him. I applaud him taking care of his need to discuss it with them. I hope it brought some measure of healing, although it likely affected his entire life.
I wonder if something was lost in translation. Children say lots of things. She wouldn't have expected him to be talking about something sexual, and he wouldn't have had the language to express something sexual. So the chance was missed.
Please do a series of reports on Bangladesh. It's more than extreme here. Thousand of young boys are being raped every day and some are brutally killed in the Kawami Madrasa and Mosques in Bangladesh. This is so alarming. But due to being a Muslim majority conservative country, people don't lraise voice against the crime. Male children are the huge victims of rape in religious institutions.
This is a very upsetting story, his mother really tried to brush it aside and totally disregard what he was telling her. How could she not remember her little boy whispering that in her ear, it would haunt me forever if a child of mine told me something like that. I hope he has got all the help he needs to heal that gapping wound that is still there festering away at his very being.
I love how much she loves and protects her husband. He’s the man but when he needs her to be the strong one she steps up and has his back. That is such a beautiful and rare thing to see is any culture ❤❤❤ beautiful family and hoping they get all the happiness in the world
I hope that he can find inner peace and knows that he did nothing wrong except for trusting a complete stranger who took advantage and destroyed his innocence. All the best to his family and pursues his dreams for the future. You can't let them win
I'm so sorry you have 'those particular' childhood memories. There a so many of us around the world who share very similar stories. And none is a fault of your own. That feeling never truly goes away, and sadly, it's still a taboo to speak of, even within one's own family. But it's apparent, you have a beautiful, loving family. I hope you are doing well and that past part of your life is no longer harming you. Peace my friend.
Hossein: Thanks for your bravery, your sensitivity and for showing part of your path and your will to heal. ❤ Sending all the love and blessings for you and your wife.
Thank you for this. He reminds me of the man I love who is from Morocco. He’s so beautiful so sensitive. He lives alone in a room. He is mostly a loner and easily falls into deep depression. He never told me about his childhood but I just know it was painful and I know he was helpless and sexually abused by older men. I think he is bisexual though he adamantly denies it. I love him so much and I want to mother him protect him. He’s 38 years old.
Where do you see the monsters? I only see people who live in a society of religious taboos. Islam just like Christianity cripples people and disincentives sexual education.
I would not say it’s Islam. It did hurt them to find out. I think they did not have the education or parenting skills to understand and actually listen. Also, children at that young age probably don’t have the la gauge to explain well what is happening. A lot of parents in a lot of cultures and religion don’t pay much attention to their children
you are the strongest to come forward and talk about this matter i hope you only receive good health and happiness... that animation in the beginning literally broke me haaah....
Here in Philippines, younger male students are being sexually abused by male teachers, older male students and non teaching male personnel inside the vicinity of the schools and some young male students are being raped outside the schools, they are bribed not to talk and remain quiet.
2 years back when I was studying at kota ... I was 16 and was living at hostel ... I went to my friend to get his book while returning it started raining. I stood nearby a mosque and and near by it a momedian man was there he called me and said don't stand outside come and sit inside you can go as it stops raining. I went inside as I entered he locked the door and he pulled me and he tried to do bad things with me . He torn up my clothes he hit me he even gripped my neck beatten me . I was shouting he said you can shout no one will come he said me I won't let you go anyhow from here .... Until I fulfill his wish ... I fought with him for nearly 4 hours to escape from there .. but he was strong and molasted me ... I still have proofs against him and recordings ... But of no use he won't get any punishment. And infact I would get to hear many words by the society.😢 I was scared a lot and not even told anyone what happened .. I still remember that bad day in my life .
I not told to my parents.. I told a friend he said he will get out of jail by paying money and infact you would be shamed by society because this happened with you they will tease you and no one will marry you 😢😢
@@AadeshKadam-zk7giwhat country? I'm curious because which country would tease a woman of assaulted sexually or physically? If they think it's stupid then tell them what if it happens to their mom or wife or daughter? The. They stop and think a bit....
You know how brave he is to tell his story?
I'm proud of you.
100% !
agree .....super brave
Not much love in this family@@EdwardRebotaso
I am IRANIAN same as you and know our culture
I am IRANIAN same as you and know our culture. You are very BRAVE, thank you for sharing your memory and opening the door for changes.
Life in Iran is very religious. Is this documentary accurate?
@@VivinovianafebrianiThere are no demons among the 'pious & religious'? They are the worst of the lot.
@@readyforknowing3009Their religion is dangerous and never be peaceful 💀
@@VivinovianafebrianiIt is but it is not religious, it’s only the government who wants to show that side of Iran .
@valeok8357 and it's also the government's fault what's happening in Iran. You cannot force a religion on someone and expect them to become pious.
Wherever Hossain and his wife and children are now, I hope they are healthy and happy. Thank you Hossain and your wife for being so courageous - it clearly shows how these things can happen, and how they should never, ever be swept under the carpet. This film, as an example, will help thousands and no doubt will save lives.
The mother’s reaction was the most heartbreaking 💔.just devastating the way she dismissed him
And then gaslighted the daughter who joined at the end and asked what happened - and the mother said 'nothing' at first ☹
I think you forget that her hands are tied, and that the role of women is different - I think it is more complex.
@@jasminealixandranorth You could call it that but it isn't that simple like that. It is part of the culture and how you are socially expected to behave. It is not her place to shame her son even more. In the beginning Hoessein told this made him lesser man in their culture.
Why it is hidden and secret. The way you react would not be conductive to heal this type of problem. His mom was 16 and basically grew up with him and her children.
It wasn't deliberate. She did not know how to react. She couldn't process the information. She never had exposure to such things.
Vile parents
In Brazil, there is an alarming issue where underage boys face harassment within schools, often at the hands of older students, yet this remains largely an unspoken reality. Several teachers have shared with me their concerns about this disturbing trend. I was deeply dismayed to learn of a specific incident involving a 6-7-year-old boy who fell victim to sexual assault in the school bathroom, perpetrated by an older student. The seriousness of such incidents demands urgent attention and a collective effort to address this pervasive problem that is causing immeasurable harm to the well-being of young students.
Do you have data?
I wouldn't be surprised. Both are very religious societies. Both Islam and Christianity prevent sexual education which means, victims do not get even the vocabulary to report abuses.
Same in 1st world countries like the UK, with older headlines such as 'Up to 64,000 women in UK are child-s ex offenders'
@@herekitty791 women?? Im so confused by that figure. Inforget with such surveys though even are skewed by England as opposed the the other UK nations. Who knows but that figure seems off. If that's women what's the figure for men? Wow
@@sillycookie1982 In the UK
men who wear dresses are considered women. Their offenses might skew the numbers?
I am bothered at how his parents couldn't comfort him as he was telling them of his childhood's reality, but instead moved on with the story of the theft of the mum's jewellery. I wish you love and light Hossein. I really hope you find the healing you deserve.
Unfortunately, it is also commonplace in Pakistan. My friend only recently discovered that two of his uncles had not only abused him but also his brother and several cousins. Despite this, and the fact that it happened over 35 years ago, my friend still suffers guilt. He was a young child but he blames himself to this day. I am the only person he has told, even knowing his own brother suffered has not made it possible for him to say anything.
It is not restricted to Muslims either, as some comments suggest. In the 1930s, my late father was abused by his parents in England. He never recovered. We only found out when he was in his 70s, and a television programme on the topic triggered him into revealing what had happened.
I was also abused by older boys at school but gained strength from the experience. I fought back when they came again, and I fought to protect my friends. Despite fighting back, I look back with great sorrow on the events.
I hope that anyone who has experienced this can find the courage to talk to someone. For my father, it was too late to achieve much, but my friend has told me that having told me, he feels less guilt and shame. Keeping it inside yourself will do you no good. Find someone that you trust and talk about it.
Your peace. Your peace 🙏🏾
Yes, talking about it to spread awareness is the first step to change this. Thanks for sharing your story.
🙏😌📿
youre an amazing person to not only have been there for your friend, but also to have not used your trauma to inflict more on someone else. hurt people hurt others. youve made a difference. i appreciate you.
I am sorry for what you went through 😓😢
I find it incredibly courageous of Hossein to confide in his parents (for the second time). It was shocking that his mother didn't remember it. His father and mother didn't apologize for not supporting their son back then and also wasn't really supporting him today either. Maybe doing chores and fulfilling the duty as a breadwinner was all they focused. Still, this was very painful to watch. Hope Hossein find strength again that has been always inside of him.
I think the parents simply did not (and still don't) possess the emotional maturity to talk about such tabu themes as sexual abuse, didn't show any openness to make amends with the past while they simply dismissed it, disregarding the psychological well being of their son. Which, in its turn, is usually seen as a superficial necessity in many cultures
This was one of the most heart wrenching. Thank you Elahe for making this film happen. Across the world no one is talking about the sexual abuse/trade of boys. Thank you both for making this deep dark painful video. I uncovered a film called Bacha Bazi many years ago, and had no idea that this was something that was happening in the Mid-East. This is not a problem of the mid-east it is a world-wide problem. The Mid-Eastern tenacity to ignore it is relentless. Thank you for sharing your pain and confrontation with your family. While it seems nothing was solved to the average viewer, this was a major mental-wellness barrier to cross. I can never know this man's personal pain. There have been times when I've shared things with my parents about troubling instances in my childhood, and was left feeling immensely alone in my feelings. I don't blame my parents or his parents, they are only functioning with the enculteration they were brought up with. THIS FILLM WAS WAY TOO SHORT! I WANT TO KNOW IF HIS PARENTS ARE GOING TO SUPPORT HIM ON HIS WELLNESS JOURNEY, IF HE HAS SOME AWAKENING TO HIMSELF AND A RESOLUTION THAT WILL SATISFY HIS LIFE. PLEASE DO A FOLLOW UP. Pehaps even do some pre-quel, so we can get a grasp on how y'all came to the decison of shooting this short film and then what's next. I love you Hossein, because I am broken boy too. I love you Elahe for your bold compassion.
I saw "Bacha Bazi" and that's what I kept whispering in my head over and over. 🤔
That was in Afghanistan, not the middle east
You can also point out that it is part of Asia. However that doesn't matter. Culturally and politically Afghanistan, Iran and Pakistan are considered part of the Middle East. Those 3 countries share many of the same problems, including this one. Geography is not the point of this film however.
Pakistan is hardly ever considered part of the middle east and Afghanistan rarely is either. Culturally Pakistan is South Asian and not middle eastern.@@spinkid2000
@@hanifleylabi8628these countries are all under the umbrella of Islam, so culturally they are extremely similar. It is not about geographical location.
Thank you so much for sharing this Hossein, must be incredibly hard.
You and your wife really are lucky with finding each other and feeling open enough within the relationship to not only you sharing that with her, but also making this story heard. ❤
More and more men finally feel the courage to share their experiences like you.
One of my customers shared a similar story, being sexually assaulted by men and women throughout his childhood.
I'm absolutely shattered by the thought people scar these kids day in and day out.
Seeing what that does to someone, mentally, physically, emotionally, the whole shabang is just heartbreaking.
That's true horrible. But why are you silent about Gaza children being bombed?
@@fuadashraf870Do not mix These two terrible things. You can also talk about importstopp things!
@@fuadashraf870 Yes. Hamas killing their own children. Too horrible.
@@frogsmoker714 liar
The courage he showed was admirable. I’m in tears, virtual hugs to you Hossein
Man, you're so brave for telling this story, hopefully this has lightened the load a bit for you a helped on your journey to work through this trauma. The main theme aside, the rest of the video was amazing from the conversations and the choice of scenes. More strength to you.
I grew up in Mexico in a small town and this video brings back so much trauma when I was a child I was abused by many older men especially my dad’s friends when they would drink at our house and I remember telling my parents and my mom dismissing me like nothing and my dad being angry and telling me to be a man and tough till this day as a adult my parents still refuse that anything happened I found out recently my two little brothers had the same problems
🫂😔
I am sorry. 😢
WTF. I'm Mexican too. Irrelevant but I'm so mad at these parents.
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Пусть ваши родители останутся одни. Будучи больными и немощными, они попросят прощения. Ненадо быть слишком религиозным и прощать своих родителей,так как они привели этих злодеев в ваш дом и угощали чертей. Много монстров именно религией и призывами к добродетели, всепрощении пользуются в своих мерзких целях.Поговорите со своими младшими братьями,чтобы они не брали ответственность за дьявольских родителей. Сплотитесь с братьями, дружите семьями,а уродливых мать и отца на свалку,где им и место.🙏.Этот совет из моей жизни,когда я бросил мать-предателя в одиночестве, только тогда она поняла свою вину. Урок абсолютного одиночества показал родителю ,что ошибка и вина лишь на ней. А отца за эгоизм смерть постигла в 35 лет. Сейчас мать- прекрасная понимающая мама и бабушка
This must be one of the most difficult videos I've watched. Hussain, I'm in awe of your bravery. I can't imagine how you pluck up the courage to confront your parents!
Thank you for sharing this.
Have to say that the animators really did an effective job of showing the fight/distress with the blue fish from the boy's T shirt. Very well done.
The same people killing women for not wanting to wear a scarf are abusing little boys 😢
How do you know its the same people?
@@mtarkesshut up
@@mtarkesthey are called Iranian
@@davidkennedy6351You should stop watching this kind of programme abd insult the people, why dont you tell us where do you come from yourself, probably usa, take your hate to somewhere else
@@takashiimotaki9593its not hate if its the truth though right
I’m almost 30 and one of my dreams is to be a dad. I cannot understand how some people can be so evil to harm a child. They are creatures who look up to adults for protection and proper love/affection. Breaking that trust is absolutely despicable and beyond my mind comprehension.
So sad.
I agree with you 😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉 how can others harm a child
The abusers always have a way to justify their actions, and often totally believe that what they did wan't wrong. I wasn't sexually abused, but my abuse was so serious that the local 'child protection' were heavily involved. All I remember is the abusers saying over and over 'I don't know where they got that idea from' and then telling me what to say when I was asked questions. I said what I was told to say or I'd make my situation worse. When I got to thirty the idea of having kids terrified me as I believed, somehow, that maybe I'd be like my abuser. Totally irrational and one level, but it also felt like a real posibility. If it was possible for my abuser to do that to me then it was possible for me to do that too. It's horrible. I didn't have kids.
Brilliant comment
Dear Hossein, just wanted to say thank you for being so brave to share your story. I'm really sorry for what happened to you... I wish you strength and sending you lots of love ❤
Very Sad and Painful. We need more documentaries on this sensitive and tabu subject thet happenes in every culture. Vicitims suffer in silence and don't always get the understanding and support from their families.
The worst part is "The Mother". First she did not defend her kid when she learned that Husein was being sexually abused. Then the next day, she cruelly gave her innocent abused kid the guilt that "he" was doing something wrong and "I, the great forgiving mother" , chose to forgive you !!! And after all those years, when Husein opens up and shares his treacherous experience with her, she decides to deny. She immediately changes the subject. She calmly keeps cracking nuts sitting comfortably. When she observes Husein is crying and is in agony, she does not even move her f** a** !!! She tells the other kid to go grab a blanket for Husein, because he is shaking !!! Later, she tells Husein that "because of what you shared with us, you father does not feel good" !!! Again she gives another guilty feeling to Husein ..... This woman does not have any sympathy or empathy for even her own emotionally torn child !!! She consciously and deliberately chooses to deny her responsibility and continue harming Husein more and more !!! She is evil !!! UNBELIEVABLE !!!!
Excellent observation and analysis. The Mother is a Monster, and so is the Father. It would not be surprising if her other son, Mohammad, and his older friend hang out together frequently for consensual intimacy, and the parents are in psychological denial about their relationship.
While what you say might have some truth you need to look at it from a bigger perspective. The mother comes from a culture where people are unable to recognize sexual harassment or able to provide love as comfort especially to their male children. I don't blame the mother or father at all. How can they provide comfort and understanding when they have never been taught how to express those feelings before?
@uwaolive I agree. They simply did not know how to deal with it. It was too much for them to process. People have this weakness in all kinds of subjects.
I agree persian mothers typically try to divert from taboo stuff but thee fact that its the 21st century and shes still diverting from this topic disgusts me and the father aswell their more concerned about their own wellbeing than their son who has been suffering secretly for many years. I hope mohsen finds a better family
She's a product of her own trauma. We all are. No more, no less.
It's heartbreaking how delicate you must be of your loved ones feelings, when you yourself may feel alienated, isolated and alone from a lack of support when you need it most. The denial of his mother to even take responsibility to acknowledge his pain. And such an insightful documentary showcases a much warmer, more accepting version of this tale that many other survivors will never relish. I'm sorry this happened to you. To any of you. You deserve better. You deserve everything you aspire to. Somewhere in the world, love is radiating for your benefit.
Thank you for producing such incredible content, offering it here for free. You are making such a difference in the world!
Thank you for watching and sharing your positive feedback!
I was abused when i was too young to understand what was happening so i don't think i will ever bring a child to this horrible world. I don't remember feeling happy in any moment of my life, that trauma won't let me.
Please seek help and therapy, you can be happy 💛
This resonates with me a lot.
I don't wanna be parent either, it is their nature is scare me. Being Ignorant and narcisstic scare me.
I am also from the Qom city . I am so proud of you two Hossain and Elahe . You can not chang your past but you can chang the future . Hossein jan as I see Elahe is like a gift for you . Take cara of each other and live a full life .
Thank's for your bravery .
As a Persian girl, I feel heartbroken when men’s issues whenever it comes to mental health are ignored thanks for making this documentary
I was overwhelmed with Hossain's vulnerability. This was a very moving piece for sure, thank you for sharing such well curated docu
The mother's response when he asked his younger brother (Mohammed) about the older guy he is always hanging out with. I have the feeling that it's one of those open secret things that no one wants to talk about
Yeah she knew....but didn't do anything about it 😢
This film was so tenderly and beautifully made. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched the layers of pain rising to the surface in this family. I am sure so many other families around the world can relate. Very brave.
im 22 yrs old, last year i was invited to a frnz party , i was intoxicated and raped by my 2 frnz, im not gay nor im feminine , even they were not seems like that kind of people. we were really good frnz, but that day i clearly remember, after i lost my consciousness , i barely feel anything, they took me to the bed room and undressed me and then all i remember was someone thrusting on my back... in the morning i thought it might be a bad dream, but all my clothes were on except my inner wear , and when i went to toilet i saw blood drops on the toilet bleeding from by butt.
then i confirmed that was not a dream, its really happened .
now a days we cannot even trust our own frnz, that incident put me in a severe depression, i felt so low, i still feel so low confident, that memory gives me nightmares, i stopped meeting them, they actually talked in the morning of that day as nothing happened and even invited me so many times to parties, but i rejected ..
not only women, not only children, even grown up man can be raped... there is no gender specific or gender constraint ..
It wasn't your fault at all, i hope you can heal and be happy. Please be kind to yourself.
🫂😔💔
Adoration of Holy Sacrament will start the process of healing and you will come out of this nightmare completely.
It is sad that we have to be so very protective of ourselves. I'm sorry that they were not real friends.
Stay strong 🙏🏻
omg that conversation with his parents broke my heart 💔🥹
this is incredibly heartbreaking and his mother's reaction was so cold.
You’re a brave man! I’m so sorry that you went through this trauma! I’m sure the mother felt crushed inside but this topic is so sensitive to talk in public and I’d have expected the parents to hug him and apologize to him for letting him down!
How can a mother not know? Is it easier to deny and pretend to not remember when your child was asking for your help? That you were busy with chores. Is it easier? Rather than confront the truth that you have failed in protecting your child and leave him to suffer in silence.
Oh many mothers don't know. Often their mind is incapable of that sort of imagination. My mother was close friends with my priests abusers. She would have never believed one word, if I had spoken up which I didn't.
It doesn't work like that. When a kid says someone was mean to him, the person listening will hear it as meaning teasing, or other childhood things. The reason kids don't speak up, and the reason adults don't hear, is because they don't expect a child to talk about adult things. If a child says my uncle hurt me when he touched me here (somewhere sexual) the person listening will think it was maybe part of a play fight or rough and tumble. Very few children have the language to express the sexual nature of an attack. A play therapist gave a child victim two dolls. The abused child made the dolls do the sexual things the abuser did to them. The therapist watched and understood what the child was saying. Sometimes kids who are abused act out their abuse in how they interact with other children. Mostly, they don't express the incidents in a way adults will understand and hence the memories get buried - the child is not able to process them, so they get parked. It's only in later life, often in their late twenties, that people begin to understand what happened and discover the memories. I was not sexually abused, but I was abused for a long time. I was in my thirties when I actually began to remember. When I spoke to someone else who was there, they confirmed what had happened and were able to give me more details. Basically I didn't remember anything from that time. There are chapters of my life that simply don't exist. I had problems. Depression. Alcohol. Underachievement. Guilt. Anxiety. Anger. When families are close, saying something like my uncle hurt me in the shower will be heard as my uncle was rough with me when he washed me in the shower. And as mum knows the kid doesn't like to have showers she would just think uncle 'forced' him to have a shower. So, in short, you can't expect children to talk about adult things. And you can't expect adults to listen to children and hear adult things. If mum knew these things existed, then maybe she'd have been able to ask better questions. If the child had something other than words, then maybe they'd be able to express what happened. No easy answers, but the more repressed the culture/society, the less the chance of kids talking and parents listening.
If she didn’t know even being told there would be a different reaction than cutting him off while speaking with “ I don’t remember “
Women r conditioned to look away from the transgressions of men in societies like these...the victim will almost always carry all the blame
@@copperredd are you Iranian.
I really think the mother remembers. Her being defensive was just so cold as if she's just trying to make him stop talking about it.
The parents both let it slide and started another topic very fast, and would have continued ignoring it if he hadn't brought it up again. It's so sad how lonely and unprotected he felt when he was a boy.
Hosseins's story is heartbreaking!
His parents seem like they are paralyzed with a lack of understanding....they are in denial, and can't process it....hopefully they will be able to help him and themselves to come to terms with this.....
It's much more confortable for the familie to keep the air of normality than to face the problem. Something similiar happened to me when I was at school, I was bullied a lot, told my parents but they thought it was normal. This goes beyond gender, religion, culture, etc is the fear of the shame your child is bringing home.
Ignoring actually
Thank you for your bravery in sharing this story. You already have the support from your loving sister. That’s already a blessing. Here’s wishing you and your family a wonderful year ahead.
Oh, got chills…so many people had that trauma but never spoke up…what a good film…Gosh…now I need to process this…thank you for uploading this precious film…respect to everyone who made it…
The courage he showed was admirable. I’m in tears,
The mum is being ignorant and utterly disgrace to be called a mom,she’s lieing probably because it’s her own brothers that were doing it,she don’t deserve to be called a mum
My uncle abused sexually of me but When I faced him about it he told his brother I was lying. No one belived me.
So there's not reason why somebody should claim something.
At the end few people are going to belive and even if some of them belive you they aren't going to say anything.
I don't mind to get a guilty but to have peace in my mind to be free and not having such adiction problems as an adult.
Sadly I'm not the only one, mos of the people who have been abused never say anything it's much more what you lose than what you 'earn". Actually you don't obtain anything.
@@M-gp4cwA good parent would believe their child and discard anyone even if it is an uncle if they are a threat to your child. As a parent, nothing should come before your child
👍
She is just as conditioned as the rest of that society to turn her eys way and not address these taboo things...she couldn't do anything about it anyway as a woman in such a society.
@@M-gp4cw No child would make up such a story. I don't understand what kind of parent puts others before their children.
Thank you so much for sharing your heartfelt words. Hossein, your resilience is truly incredible, and I am deeply moved by your courage to amplify the voices of those who suffer in silence, not just in Iran, but across the globe including me. let's work creating a home, place, sociaty where children, teenagers, adults in general-regardless of gender, skin color, or religion or whatever-can thrive not overcome that such a step a step long journey and I actually let myself cry a bit more than the last time and say again you don't overcome that this... u live with it, you cry with it share with other's people and it's groowing more conscious and intent to the life of the present. Let's strive for humanity, for a quality of life that doesn't just focus on survival but on truly living. Let's break free from the chains of oppression and build a world where we can all feel human, where monsters no longer dictate our existence. I'm on time to be more conscious about life and myself and people in my situation, what I could do for them.
Thank you, once again, for your powerful words. They've ignited a fire within me to be an agent of change, to stand up for what's right, and to fight for a world where everyone can live with dignity and freedom. Let's join hands and make it happen.
"My therapist advised me to speak to you about it so that I can change how I feel about you". I wonder how Hossein felt about his parents
The same feeling when he suffered the sexual abussed. That was the second time that he felt guilty and alone.
@@MichaelLopez-f5u It's saddening to know that you have family and they are always around you, but yet feel so alone inside. It's difficult
@@WambedeDickson-wr7gk the family is such a ignorance members, 'cause the social -political established is predominant in social life. It happens in different part of this world. Even in Usa.
@@MichaelLopez-f5u True the social construct is everywhere even in Africa, it is only unleashing broken people
They did not protect him
Hi Hossein. You are strong, stronger than those cowards. You are resilient and extremely brave. Keep going for all the survivors, and alm their families and friends
Hossain, you telling your story brought tears to me. You are so brave! Your a beautiful soul who endured something horrible that wasn't your fault. Now your story could help other children and families, maybe even save lives.
Im so proud of you for talking to your parents and taking the big steps towards healing. God Bless you 🙏
خیلی دردناک هست. کاش تعداد بیشتری از مردم ببینند این فیلم داکیو مِنتری رو.
This is heart-wrenching to watch. I hope more people living in Iran will watch this and raise awareness.
Thanks a lot for taking the time to comment. We kindly ask our viewers to comment on our channel in English
so that we can answer questions and encourage dialogue.
Thank you and all the best,
The DW Documentary Team
@@DWDocumentary Noted. I wrote it in Farsi intentionally to increase the chances of being seen by Iranians living in Iran. I will add an English translation to my original comment.
RUclips has automatic translation anyways. I think we need to encourage people writing in their own languages. Imperial languages are not always the answer, especially with nowadays translation tools. @@DWDocumentary
@@jaimepe4765 I totally agree with you. I myself have replied to comments for which I used RUclips translation tools. I don't think using language other than English will discourage dialogue amongst viewers. It is probably just one of their internal policies.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are stronger and braver then many . ❤❤❤
Thanks for watching!
The sad truth is these kind of people who abuse children are everywhere amongst us😢😢
Becoming educated about, and recognizing the signs of abuse are important.
That poem in the last scene killed me.. Thank you..
I'm glad that you could finally tell what you survived. We know it took a lot of courage to do so. So proud of you. Keep going. Don't let this trauma define your life.
Hossain I’m very proud of you. So sorry you had to carry this around all these years. You’re are beautiful soul don’t ever forget it. Thank you for sharing your private moments with your family. Good luck to you . ❤
What's really scary is that this happens in every country: the cycle of abuse, suppression of information, and blaming of the victim.
The only way we can fight this cycle is by talking about the abuse and exposing perpetrators.
Much respect to Hossein and his family for sharing the story with us. I hope they come to fully believe that it was not any of their fault that abhorrent things had been done to Hossein by the vile men, and that Hossein is not defective in any way. I know many women from all cultures who are dating/married to men with prior sexual abuse history.
May the Lord help Hossein and his family heal and protect them as this story is shared on the webs.
I went to uni in Iran and was engaged there and had two really close guy friends from the family. All three of those young men told me they had been abused, raped, whatever. Each (at a different time) told me it had been done at school by older boys or at some religious classes. I was so shocked and so pained for them. And now it's almost 50 years later and I still can hear their three different voices and their feelings behind their truth tellings.
It is heartbreaking for a child to go through such painful and soul-scaring experiences, only to find out that his parents would attempt to dismiss his pain to keep a straight face for the world to see! 😢
Wow, what an unsatisfactory response by Hossein's parents, to say the very least! But in a country as repressed as Iran, perhaps it is not surprising that they are completely unequipped to deal with this matter. Thank you for sharing this, and all the best to you. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
The mother's reaction was so cold and disappointing....she kept saying ''I don't remember'' everytime he tried to recall her memory.😢
Its the conditioning of a society that protects men from their transgressions... Nobody is allowed to address it, evwn if everyone knows
Another truthful introduction documentary about shameful, abnormal, taboo deals ( boys abuses ) in Iran and other nearby countries. Documentary shared by an amazing ( DW) channel. Documentary showed how much that man suffering mentally and carried trauma feelings in his under consciences ...
Then again USA had a Lolita Express with elites visiting it, whose names are until this day kept secret.
Thanks for watching and for the feedback!
Its very hard for a parent to face the shame of their failure but for the deep love of your child you must do it. Sadly is parents did not help him heal and make it right.
Reminds me of the story about " Dancing boys " in Afghanistan. Something about that mid-east region is culturally skewed. I think this is more pervasive than we realize.
Seen that too. It was horrifying.
You speak as if this doesn't happen in every country.
It happens more in Western countries.
sexual harassment happens everywhere unfortunately, not just the middle east.
You can legally marry an underage child in 14 states of the US. This same stuff happens at the hands of priests just as much. There is no magical force field around western nations that protects them from abuse against children.
His father acted how a parent should when learning something so devastating happned to your child i could feel his heartbreak for his son
This was such a difficult journey, filmed and told so beautifully. We wait so long to tell our truths, because we've allowed the fear of what might result grow and grow so long that it scares us more than even death. Uttering the words takes such courage but brings such relief. It's like draining a wound that started as a bad cut, but grew more infected the longer we left it untreated, slowing killing the soul. So amazed by Hossain's joy despite pain, humor despite worry, and most of all his bravery in living his truth.
I really feel sad when his mom denies, and tell him "I do not remember" how it was hard😢
As a parent…don’t say you opened up wrong! Just apologize and say…what can I do now. I don’t think this kind of interaction was in his parents knowledge of what is possible…just denial. Hopefully they figured it out in the end.
It happens a lot to the boys in India too... Especially, in crowded train compartments!
Very Scary experience to say the least. 😥
This is a surprising situation. What are young boys doing on crowded trains? In large cities? Commuting to school and back home without their parents? Have you witnessed this, or do you know someone who experienced it? Is there a documentary about crowded trains in India? Any links would be appreciated. Peace.
The situation is worse in Afghanistan and Pakistan, TBH i myself am one of the victims. It still hurts.
Addressing the sensitive issue of sexual abuse of boys, I want to emphasize that not everyone in Iran is highly religious. The individuals consistently wearing headscarves and chadors are becoming the minority. The majority of Iranian people are not religious. The portrayal of mosques, mullahs, and the call to prayer (adhan) in the documentary aligns with the image the government wants to present of Iran.
That seems to be true. Fortunately so. But not being religious still does not keep one from being influenced by the thinking that religion cultivates. As a lifelong atheist, I would say that includes me as well, being brought up in a dominant christian society. The shame around sexuality and the incredibly flawed thinking that religion spreads are doing damage even with non-believers.
I believe Qom is a bit different, as it is known as the Vatican of Shia. Just like the Vatican, you can see a lot of Christianity symbols in the city more than any other countries, in Qom you can see symbols such as mullahs very frequently. Also almost in the all cities of the Middle East, regardless of whether people are religious or not you still hear calls to pray because there are a lot of mosques around. Just like European cities where there is a lot of church around, regardless of many people being atheist.
What I receive from the film, which is a very strong aspect of the film is that the documentary is trying to say sexual abuse is happening everywhere even in a city with that level of religious. I don't think the doc is trying to say people of Iran are religious, or unlike some other comments, I don’t think the doc tries to say that is the fault of religious that sexual abuse is happening- because the sexual violence is happening everywhere. But I think it tries to say sexual abuse is happening "even" in such strong religious families and citifies too. So we should think about something more than just religious lessons in the schools that we see in the beginning of the film.
@sepidehsabour6366 you’re missing the point. This is set in Qom which happens to be the most religious city in Iran. While this issue is commonplace everywhere in Iran, it’s worse in more religious communities. A combination of unreasonable restrictions on normal consensual sexual release and the overall hypocrisy of such communities are perfect breeding grounds for child sexual abuse.
@@81wwwolffacts 👌🏿
My very sincere compliments to you Hossein. You have shown so much strength. What you had experienced in childhood is a very common tragedy, not only in our society but I want to say in Life, in general. It is very unfortunate and painful, but it is very common. Every society has this dilemma.
Treasure your wife; your wonderful parents. All of You guys in this video are of high quality people. There is so much Love among you all. Bless, & Bliss. ❤
i am Iranian-Georgian i can feel same like you Hossein,stay strong brother
This was painful to watch, because I'm American woman and I experienced much the same. I had the same memory loss, and I had the same shame of what I had let happen to me. I was six. Like I had a choice or a chance. You don't when you're a child, but I still blamed myself. I never told because I was so ashamed. I am angry at the reaction of Hossain's parents when he told. I don't remember from his mother and I did my best, I thought I was your friend from his father. But no compassion for him now. The man who was the boy who experienced all that. So he's still alone. I want to tell him he's not alone. There's a man here in the US who teaches and counsels people for free on RUclips, Patrick Teahan, and the community of us abused and damaged people there find a lot of freedom in just talking to other people who understand. Some are just supportive, some have good advice, but we're the only people we know who we can really talk to, because the rest of the world wants to pretend we don't exist. Tell him to look us up.
The strange paradox of the RUclips algorithm put this documentary on my feed, it was truly fascinating, whilst the effects of the taboo subject was done tactfully and sincerely, showing the horrors of abuse that stays with victims for years and perhaps forever. Very well presented and nicely edited. Thank you 🙏
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you are a strong man , it takes bravery to speak up . I hope you lead a good life
Childhood is a constant vulnerability that must be protected by accepting the sacred commitment of being parents.
I don’t believe that the mother didn’t know. Perhaps she just wasn’t able to deal with it. But the parents’ reaction when Houssein told them was weird. There must be cultural differences (I’m English) but if my son told me that I’d be murderously furious at the perpetrators and immediately want to know what I could do to help him. They were clearly upset but didn’t validate and support him they just made excuses. Bizarre to say the least and deprived Houssein of closure.
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
It's definitely a cultural thing I think. She had her first kid at 16 in a very repressed culture that can't even accept married couples holding hands in public. I'm sure her mind immediately shut down the minute Hossein tried hesitantly to tell her what had happened to him. Very sad.
We do a lot of things wrong in the west, but I think we at least have gotten better at understanding abuse and making efforts to communicate with our children about it.
@@TheAnthoula14 Sexual harassment of any kind is worse doesn't matter it happens with whom
@@TheAnthoula14 What about the thousands of Single Older Westerners travelling to places like Thailand?
@@CheezzyAlfredo only Thailand? It is also common in the Philippines
Crimes of this type committed against an innocent are of a most grievous nature and demonstrate an almost unbelievable evil within the perpetrator. Sadly, once done cannot ever be undone, no matter the amount of therapy processes - that person will always have the scars within them. Truly sad
So sad and painful respect to this brave guy for telling his painful memories
So much love n hugs to men/boys/ children who went thru this.❤
It is so sad for the mother to say she didn’t remember, or blame the victim that HE should have been “more straight with her”. He was a child! It was her responsibility as a parent to pay attention and investigate his claims. This makes me so sad for him. I applaud him taking care of his need to discuss it with them. I hope it brought some measure of healing, although it likely affected his entire life.
I wonder if something was lost in translation. Children say lots of things. She wouldn't have expected him to be talking about something sexual, and he wouldn't have had the language to express something sexual. So the chance was missed.
Please do a series of reports on Bangladesh. It's more than extreme here. Thousand of young boys are being raped every day and some are brutally killed in the Kawami Madrasa and Mosques in Bangladesh. This is so alarming. But due to being a Muslim majority conservative country, people don't lraise voice against the crime. Male children are the huge victims of rape in religious institutions.
This is a very upsetting story, his mother really tried to brush it aside and totally disregard what he was telling her. How could she not remember her little boy whispering that in her ear, it would haunt me forever if a child of mine told me something like that. I hope he has got all the help he needs to heal that gapping wound that is still there festering away at his very being.
A beautiful and moving film, thank you.
I always heard about this
Greatly appreciate this mini doc
the burden must be shared by all, we are complicit in our ignorance and inaction
Wow and the parents blame him for the abuse. What a horrible mother. Shame on you !!!
I love how much she loves and protects her husband. He’s the man but when he needs her to be the strong one she steps up and has his back. That is such a beautiful and rare thing to see is any culture ❤❤❤ beautiful family and hoping they get all the happiness in the world
I hope that he can find inner peace and knows that he did nothing wrong except for trusting a complete stranger who took advantage and destroyed his innocence. All the best to his family and pursues his dreams for the future. You can't let them win
Thank you for sharing your story bravely.
Sad reality of so many places in the world. Great work. Props to the animator/s as well. That depiction with the fishes.... Sigh
I'm so sorry you have 'those particular' childhood memories. There a so many of us around the world who share very similar stories. And none is a fault of your own. That feeling never truly goes away, and sadly, it's still a taboo to speak of, even within one's own family. But it's apparent, you have a beautiful, loving family. I hope you are doing well and that past part of your life is no longer harming you. Peace my friend.
Hossein:
Thanks for your bravery, your sensitivity and for showing part of your path and your will to heal. ❤ Sending all the love and blessings for you and your wife.
Heartbreaking. I hope Hossein is doing better and continuing therapy as long as it is helpful
Thank you for this. He reminds me of the man I love who is from Morocco. He’s so beautiful so sensitive. He lives alone in a room. He is mostly a loner and easily falls into deep depression. He never told me about his childhood but I just know it was painful and I know he was helpless and sexually abused by older men. I think he is bisexual though he adamantly denies it. I love him so much and I want to mother him protect him. He’s 38 years old.
In India this assault occurs frequently, my elder sister assault me for many years .
She presents her very religious
This poor man, his parents are monsters who failed to protect him, which includes getting justice for their son. What monsters.
Where do you see the monsters? I only see people who live in a society of religious taboos. Islam just like Christianity cripples people and disincentives sexual education.
It’s a culture thing. Islam.
I would not say it’s Islam. It did hurt them to find out. I think they did not have the education or parenting skills to understand and actually listen. Also, children at that young age probably don’t have the la gauge to explain well what is happening. A lot of parents in a lot of cultures and religion don’t pay much attention to their children
24:06 Mom pretending like she has no idea what happened. This is so sad...
you are the strongest to come forward and talk about this matter i hope you only receive good health and happiness... that animation in the beginning literally broke me haaah....
Here in Philippines, younger male students are being sexually abused by male teachers, older male students and non teaching male personnel inside the vicinity of the schools and some young male students are being raped outside the schools, they are bribed not to talk and remain quiet.
Something is seriously wrong with so many men. Doesn't matter what country. God help the innocent. 🙏
A loving family. Thanks for sharing.
2 years back when I was studying at kota ... I was 16 and was living at hostel ... I went to my friend to get his book while returning it started raining. I stood nearby a mosque and and near by it a momedian man was there he called me and said don't stand outside come and sit inside you can go as it stops raining.
I went inside as I entered he locked the door and he pulled me and he tried to do bad things with me . He torn up my clothes he hit me he even gripped my neck beatten me . I was shouting he said you can shout no one will come he said me I won't let you go anyhow from here .... Until I fulfill his wish ... I fought with him for nearly 4 hours to escape from there .. but he was strong and molasted me ... I still have proofs against him and recordings ... But of no use he won't get any punishment. And infact I would get to hear many words by the society.😢 I was scared a lot and not even told anyone what happened .. I still remember that bad day in my life .
It's sad that happened to you. But why won't he get punishment?
I not told to my parents.. I told a friend he said he will get out of jail by paying money and infact you would be shamed by society because this happened with you they will tease you and no one will marry you 😢😢
@@AadeshKadam-zk7gi I can understand you dear, I know our society well. I hope you recover from that. :)
@@Grushenkaa hm I am okay now 😊
@@AadeshKadam-zk7giwhat country? I'm curious because which country would tease a woman of assaulted sexually or physically? If they think it's stupid then tell them what if it happens to their mom or wife or daughter? The. They stop and think a bit....
total gratitude for this
Thanks, Elahe. Thanks, DW.