I'm glad you hit on the fact that the narcissist can sometimes make the past relationship or person sound amazing. They will say to other people that you're an amazing person and that he's completely to blame for the demise of the relationship. Typical martyrdom to make himself look so vulnerable and noble and good. 🙄
I already knew him, he was already in my friend circle (my first impression of him was that he was selfish...). First date, we went to a basketball game and he made out with me the entire time (strange for a 50+-year-old man, but I was throwing caution to the wind. Second date was at my house. He barely spoke for an hour (again, we already knew each other), but when I asked him about his business (he's in the entertainment industry), it was like a light switch had been turned on. In my defense, this was just supposed to be fun, but then he told me he wanted to take things further, and that was the beginning of the end. Fortunately, I kicked him to the curb nine months ago. I'm just learning (from conversations with friends and watching your and Lee's videos) that there's a 90% chance he's a narcissist. Made sense, considering the emotions I went through. Happy to be rid of him.
I wish I had listened to all of this last year . It would have saved a broken heart , three court cases and terrible emotional and financial abuse . He was a covert one and impossible to spot . I’m devastated . From the idea he went from being an Angel to the monster now . A total dangerous Jekyll and Hyde . A master manipulator moving around the country taking women for everything they have .
My husband is a narcissist. He is becoming more self aware. What would you do to help me help him understand he needs to be more helpful around our house. He spends hours on video games after work instead of consistently being around us or even help me during clean up.
He’s just using you as his secondary supply! It’s working for him so why change? What are his consequences if he doesn’t change?! Think mother substitute…
@@caroleminke6116 why consequences? narcissist is a manipulator, he will manipulate consequences too. I think it is a good question, but sounds a bit like a "voice..in de desert".
You can’t change him, nor can he change himself. The only thing to do is to get your finances in order so that you can divorce him to protect yourself and the kids and pets from his neglect and abuse!
🙄 narcissistic men have women in their lives for 2 purposes… 1. You’re the mom 2. You are their whore My experience anyways .. and I saw several psychologists back this up ❤🎉 either way, best of luck and stay safe out there
My first encounter with my new narcistisch neighbour was "hey neighbour, nice to meet you and if you need something, I am there for you. Didnt even mention his name. Now he is gone and I have a new neighbour. This time it is a woman. Exactly the same thing happened. Am I paranoia or is snel also a narcissist. I am confused. I told her that I want to keep some distance because my former neighbour hurt me. Het reaction was a certain look but she never sad" I am sorry to hear that'. I dont know what to make of it. Maybe somebody knows?
1. Being suspicious of or judging and punishing others for what someone else did in the past isn’t right. 2. A neighbor shouldn’t have to jump through hoops to be neighborly nor should they apologize for something someone else did that they did not do. 3. Having healthy strong boundaries is a better way of not repeating the past than telling someone a story of the past that has nothing to do with them. 4. Expecting a stranger/new acquaintance to take a side in a situation they know nothing about, and say “sorry that happened” isn’t right. 5. Oversharing to someone one has just met is often seen as toxic/dumping on someone.
"You dump her kid and you dump her fast"... "The door test kid that's what matters. Give her the door test." "Then dump her. And you dump her fast!!!" The "Bronx Tale" Movie Door Test circa era 1993
So I had to google that. Yes, back-in-the-day we unlocked the door for other people. If she doesn’t unlock the door for you, to get in and just sits there that means that she’s a selfish bitch. Well that made me laugh. So basically test their empathy. Do they think about you? Do they consider you? Lol! That can be faked. I saw a comment, in this comment section. She said that on the first date, it was someone that she already knew, the guy just kept on making out with her. Well yes because sex is the hook and the bait. They can easily sell themselves on sex rather than on being a good catch because it’s quicker and easier to move things forward and gain control. Best advice, don’t let your brains turn to mush by being infected with the good feels. Instead stay sober and observe. Then decide.
@@bonnielee316 Why your more than Welcome. The legendary movie reminder wasn't to undermine Bens angles at all just to note some folk respond more to Cinammon than Paprika...hahahahaha
Ben. I think it might make your life easier if your prerecorded your business availability at the end of your video and just dropped it in. Your regulars will only have to fast forward anyway all of the time. Well as you know it’s not necessary. People who need help will truly be interested in hearing your offer at the end. You don’t have to worry and think that you can’t get a customer unless you force a hook on them. Relax, you will get a customer. People who can afford your services will buy your services. People who can’t will have to do it on their own. Granted, it’s faster if you can have help and better but not everybody can afford that luxury. That’s the way the world turns, so-to-speak. You can’t hook a person who doesn’t have the money.
@sms1067, He can put it at the beginning with a predictable end or fade or colored screen for three seconds so that after I skip it, I know when to resume watching.
I spot them easy, He invite me to eat some icecream he Said I will chose 😂😂😂 I run away, if they chose from the menu for u, if they always chose the place the restaurant the activity run away 😂
Grandiose narcs will grandstand but coverts act like your long lost brother or friend when they’re only looking for a soft spot in your own defenses against narcs ❤️🩹 remember it’s just a game that they’re playing like cat & mouse
You and Lee can just supervise all of my dates now. The way parents do in India lol
Literally!
Lol they could offer this as an extra service! Be in your ear via a call for the whole date lol
I'm glad you hit on the fact that the narcissist can sometimes make the past relationship or person sound amazing. They will say to other people that you're an amazing person and that he's completely to blame for the demise of the relationship. Typical martyrdom to make himself look so vulnerable and noble and good. 🙄
I already knew him, he was already in my friend circle (my first impression of him was that he was selfish...). First date, we went to a basketball game and he made out with me the entire time (strange for a 50+-year-old man, but I was throwing caution to the wind. Second date was at my house. He barely spoke for an hour (again, we already knew each other), but when I asked him about his business (he's in the entertainment industry), it was like a light switch had been turned on.
In my defense, this was just supposed to be fun, but then he told me he wanted to take things further, and that was the beginning of the end. Fortunately, I kicked him to the curb nine months ago. I'm just learning (from conversations with friends and watching your and Lee's videos) that there's a 90% chance he's a narcissist. Made sense, considering the emotions I went through.
Happy to be rid of him.
YASSS! Met one recently and he was talking about his ex-wife and her bad credit...😳🚩🚩🚩🚩 Thank you Ben!!!
They or some will tend to mirror image or repeat what you say in subtle ways to be more agreeable or make it seem like you have a lot in common
Chameleons
Agreed
I wish I had listened to all of this last year . It would have saved a broken heart , three court cases and terrible emotional and financial abuse . He was a covert one and impossible to spot . I’m devastated . From the idea he went from being an Angel to the monster now . A total dangerous Jekyll and Hyde . A master manipulator moving around the country taking women for everything they have .
Hmmm...some adhd ppl may do these things too....
Take your timeeee watch actions over time dont bond easy with them. 🎉
Yes. I can.
My husband is a narcissist. He is becoming more self aware. What would you do to help me help him understand he needs to be more helpful around our house. He spends hours on video games after work instead of consistently being around us or even help me during clean up.
He’s just using you as his secondary supply! It’s working for him so why change? What are his consequences if he doesn’t change?! Think mother substitute…
@@caroleminke6116 why consequences? narcissist is a manipulator, he will manipulate consequences too. I think it is a good question, but sounds a bit like a "voice..in de desert".
You can’t change him, nor can he change himself. The only thing to do is to get your finances in order so that you can divorce him to protect yourself and the kids and pets from his neglect and abuse!
He fake to be aware of it , he is a snake 😂
🙄 narcissistic men have women in their lives for 2 purposes… 1. You’re the mom 2. You are their whore
My experience anyways .. and I saw several psychologists back this up ❤🎉 either way, best of luck and stay safe out there
I just dated a narcissist, Just wanted to make sure. Thank you 😂
Yes I wish I had one, but it's so after the fact. ;)
My first encounter with my new narcistisch neighbour was "hey neighbour, nice to meet you and if you need something, I am there for you. Didnt even mention his name. Now he is gone and I have a new neighbour. This time it is a woman. Exactly the same thing happened. Am I paranoia or is snel also a narcissist. I am confused. I told her that I want to keep some distance because my former neighbour hurt me. Het reaction was a certain look but she never sad" I am sorry to hear that'. I dont know what to make of it. Maybe somebody knows?
1. Being suspicious of or judging and punishing others for what someone else did in the past isn’t right.
2. A neighbor shouldn’t have to jump through hoops to be neighborly nor should they apologize for something someone else did that they did not do.
3. Having healthy strong boundaries is a better way of not repeating the past than telling someone a story of the past that has nothing to do with them.
4. Expecting a stranger/new acquaintance to take a side in a situation they know nothing about, and say “sorry that happened” isn’t right.
5. Oversharing to someone one has just met is often seen as toxic/dumping on someone.
Good fences make good neighbors! I have excellent neighbors & we respect each other’s privacy & we are also available if needed ❤
Ans sometimes it feels as if they know each other and he uses her to flill him in on what I am doing. Does this make sense?
"You dump her kid and you dump her fast"... "The door test kid that's what matters. Give her the door test." "Then dump her. And you dump her fast!!!" The "Bronx Tale" Movie Door Test circa era 1993
So I had to google that. Yes, back-in-the-day we unlocked the door for other people.
If she doesn’t unlock the door for you, to get in and just sits there that means that she’s a selfish bitch. Well that made me laugh.
So basically test their empathy. Do they think about you? Do they consider you? Lol! That can be faked.
I saw a comment, in this comment section. She said that on the first date, it was someone that she already knew, the guy just kept on making out with her. Well yes because sex is the hook and the bait. They can easily sell themselves on sex rather than on being a good catch because it’s quicker and easier to move things forward and gain control.
Best advice, don’t let your brains turn to mush by being infected with the good feels. Instead stay sober and observe. Then decide.
@@bonnielee316 here here well said and well stated.....
@charlottequillen732,
Thanks!
@@bonnielee316 Why your more than Welcome. The legendary movie reminder wasn't to undermine Bens angles at all just to note some folk respond more to Cinammon than Paprika...hahahahaha
@charlottequillen732,
Yes, lol!
Master's of c o n t r o l. Watch for love bomb, devalue, discard cycle
Ben.
I think it might make your life easier if your prerecorded your business availability at the end of your video and just dropped it in. Your regulars will only have to fast forward anyway all of the time. Well as you know it’s not necessary. People who need help will truly be interested in hearing your offer at the end. You don’t have to worry and think that you can’t get a customer unless you force a hook on them. Relax, you will get a customer. People who can afford your services will buy your services. People who can’t will have to do it on their own. Granted, it’s faster if you can have help and better but not everybody can afford that luxury. That’s the way the world turns, so-to-speak. You can’t hook a person who doesn’t have the money.
I’m pretty sure it affects the algorithm if people don’t watch all the way to end, so it makes more business sense for him to do what he’s doing.
@sms1067,
He can put it at the beginning with a predictable end or fade or colored screen for three seconds so that after I skip it, I know when to resume watching.
I spot them easy, He invite me to eat some icecream he Said I will chose 😂😂😂 I run away, if they chose from the menu for u, if they always chose the place the restaurant the activity run away 😂
I’m not a narc but bring up my ex not over the situation
👍💚
Grandiose narcs will grandstand but coverts act like your long lost brother or friend when they’re only looking for a soft spot in your own defenses against narcs ❤️🩹 remember it’s just a game that they’re playing like cat & mouse