The 5 Pivotal Moments When a Narcissist Will Drop Their Mask

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 28 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 87

  • @greylizard1040
    @greylizard1040 Год назад +51

    6. When they are tired.
    7. When they have just secured their name to joint assets or property of some kind and no longer need to pretend as much that they like that other person or their family.

  • @princhipessa1969
    @princhipessa1969 11 месяцев назад +15

    Don’t move in with someone for years! My ex’s mask dropped immediately! I bought my own place and no one is moving in with me! Ever.

    • @J.Franco-e4t
      @J.Franco-e4t 8 месяцев назад +1

      Sex out side of marriage is sin.sin opens the doors to abuse ,and bad stuff happening to you.learn Gods ways for your protection.
      He trying to protect you.
      I learned it to late.😢 TRUST GOD

    • @NewLifeJourney24
      @NewLifeJourney24 2 месяца назад

      ​@user-kz7dh5tv7j Yes, I learned my lesson.

  • @nb00
    @nb00 Год назад +21

    1. Moving in together
    2. Getting engaged
    3. Right after marriage
    4. Pregnancy
    5. After kids
    - N likes the chase. Once in life - need to devalue you to feel better about themselves.
    - if attention isn't on N N will look elsewhere

    • @emmarae4322
      @emmarae4322 Год назад +2

      Yep. Mine dropped the mask a month after moving in.

  • @miracleaustin9708
    @miracleaustin9708 Год назад +46

    6. If you become sick or injured.. they devalue and discard because you are no longer able to take care of them or give them what they want. At that point you are just an inconvenience.

    • @LoriCadwell
      @LoriCadwell Год назад +3

      From convenience to inconvenience

    • @deb2319
      @deb2319 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@LoriCadwell💯📌📌

    • @lha816
      @lha816 5 месяцев назад

      This needs to be added

  • @MC-cz5qd
    @MC-cz5qd Год назад +16

    So disgusting that someone would discard the person carrying their child. Unbelievable, unforgivable. Makes me want to believe Karma’s a thing.

  • @larac0
    @larac0 Год назад +53

    The thoughts of narcissistic men around women pregnant with their babies are beyond disgusting.... for the sake of humanity, I hope more people heal from these toxic patterns

    • @krosado1114
      @krosado1114 Год назад +10

      At 3 months pregnant I couldn’t take the abuse anymore and had a nervous breakdown. I finally realized that he wanted to destroy me and didn’t care about me nor the baby. I’m so grateful I managed to escape by the grace of God.

    • @charlibaltimore5389
      @charlibaltimore5389 Год назад +7

      I just went through this myself... my husband neglected me the entire pregnancy - with covid too. Sometimes he would forget to feed me even when I couldn't go up/down the steps to get to the kitchen. He had interest for the delivery around people, then neglected me immediately after we came home from the hospital after my c-section. I was helpless, had to call my mom. My daughter is 6mos old now and he still has very little interest, he comes to look at her for 20min a day and go about his business asking ridiculous questions that don't matter because he has no intention of actually taking care of her day-today needs "when did she sleep last" - all it does is piss me off. He was so awful.... I am still very much in this, but escaping soon. Crazy part is I think he's currently trying to lovebomb again, but I'm done - 10 years and I have noticed changes at ALL of this points in life and I feel so stupid for not thinking something more was there. What a waste of my time and my poor daughter misses out on the love and affection of two parents working side by side.

    • @larac0
      @larac0 Год назад

      @charlibaltimore5389 please don't beat yourself up for believing that another person was as good and decent as you are. So many of us fall for these evil manipulators, but blaming ourselves will only hurt us more and keep us weak. Be proud of all you've been able to do for yourself and your daughter without his support. Understand that society ENABLES these abusers. Sometimes, these narcissists are so good at deceiving that they even fool mental health professionals, Dr. Ramani says it herself. The attorney Rebecca Zung is excellent if you need legal advice. Both of them have youtube channels. Start making your plans and getting stronger emotionally. You can do this 💪 . You and your daughter deserve to be FREE from abuse. Better an absent parent than a toxic one

    • @Elsie144k
      @Elsie144k Год назад +1

      @@charlibaltimore5389I’m so sorry. I can very much relate. I was in extreme pain during pregnancy to the point of needing crutches to walk. I couldn’t get out of bed without help. Not only did he watch me go to work on crutches everyday in pain instead of suggesting I take maternity leave, he would resent me waking him up in the middle of the night to help me get out of bed so I could go to the bathroom. I wish I could see then what I see now. Could have saved myself a world of hurt and heartbreak. Glad you are getting out. It’s so sad for the kids

    • @deb2319
      @deb2319 9 месяцев назад

      😂❤❤❤

  • @thrivingnow7395
    @thrivingnow7395 Год назад +13

    When you catch them blatantly cheating or they let the truth slip out about betrayal = violent rage.

  • @lobsterbisque7567
    @lobsterbisque7567 Год назад +27

    I was fortunate, I walked away from my ex as soon as she started devaluing me. After I walked away, I did research into narcissism, and I found out that she was a narc. The relationship lasted 4mos., and after I spoke to all my loved ones about the conversations & texts we shared, and they all told me she manipulating me in very subtle ways. Thankfully, She could only reach me through my phone. And I changed my number shortly after walking away. I'm fortunate to get away from her unscathed, with no serious commitments that she could leverage to hoover me back. I feel so much better now that I'm free of her

  • @wendythompson3291
    @wendythompson3291 Год назад +42

    My husband switched 2 days after getting married. I was told in a mean way, "If I don't get sex I will find it elsewhere." What a shock!! I asked him where this is coming from, and there is no response or explanation. We had dated 4 years, nothing stated prior.

    • @LoriCadwell
      @LoriCadwell Год назад +1

      3 months after marriage my husband told me it wasn't working for him anymore and that he could go to the park and get a homeless woman or down the street and get a hoe to give him what he wanted

    • @deb2319
      @deb2319 9 месяцев назад

      oh gawd..😢 I pray you are in a better place in space & time now. Sending Peace & PositiveVibes❤ Vibes

    • @redsoul7215
      @redsoul7215 25 дней назад

      I’ve heard this happen so many times. The day to day drives NARCS crazy/bored. They often like sports because every play is different.

  • @manzanitaverde5455
    @manzanitaverde5455 Год назад +4

    Yes, I would never have thought that someone that I spent years with would just stop talking to me one day out of the blue...it's taking me a long time to accept that this was his way of discarding me.

  • @h.e9871
    @h.e9871 Год назад +28

    Or when you get ill and/or are going through a rough time, such as the loss of a parent!

    • @dahliafiend
      @dahliafiend Год назад +1

      Cáncer snd lsing my parents were the events that led me to researching what was wrong with her and learning about narcissism. Think I googled “no empathy”.

    • @h.e9871
      @h.e9871 Год назад

      @@dahliafiend Yes! That's the words i googled too 😳😳✨️✨️

    • @billindawatts5502
      @billindawatts5502 Год назад +1

      Or losing you adult child to suicide....and it's all my fault
      ??????

    • @h.e9871
      @h.e9871 Год назад

      @@billindawatts5502 💗🙏💗

  • @Elsie144k
    @Elsie144k Год назад +12

    Looking back I see all of these. But back then it was so confusing. Was even explained away by our couples therapist. Warning ⛔️: stay away from therapists who are not WELL versed in narcissism. A life coach who has a-lot of personal experience and even better has healed from being one (like Ben here) is the best option.

    • @XOChristianaNicole
      @XOChristianaNicole Год назад +1

      SO TRUE.
      Even trauma therapists aren’t all, necessarily, equipped to deal with people recovering from severe narcissistic abuse.
      It’s such a specific type of abuse, which, SO MANY people explain away.
      And all the little details One tries to give, makes ‘em look like nit-pickers and are the problem - because many of the issues seem to be so insignificant, when someone isn’t experiencing ‘em CONSTANTLY.
      I recently reconnected with my very best friend, from high school and a bit after - we were in separable for such a long time.
      Him and my mother always got along super well - he even went on vacation with us, one year.
      I mean, ALL of my friends adored my mother.
      No one ever understood that the reason why I always had people over, or the reason why I was always driving around and staying at their house - was because that was the only way to keep the wrath of my mother and step-father off of me.
      It was almost, like, a cat bringing a dead animal their owners.
      Like, “See, look what I brought you!”
      Because my mother loved feeling like the “cool mom,” and my former step-father liked the attention from young females (he would always at “She’s cute”’or not, and critique what they looked like. I was always so upset I was obese as in my youth (due to so much cortisol. I was later diagnosed with Cushing’s Syndrome), and he never found me sexually attractive.
      Last year, he liked a photo memory I shared, on FB (he was on my friend’s list, and is now blocked) - of a picture of my legs in a bathtub, and me missing my old apartment/bathroom.
      I had never felt that kind of repulsion, before.
      He still had many of my high school friends on his friend’s list.
      My BBF I reconnected with, knew nothing about what I have survived, this past decade - surviving Munchuasen’s by Proxy, while bedridden/housebound, at the hands of my “caretaker” mother.
      We were messaging a while back, and I mentioned something about my mother.
      He said, “You’re mother is just being stubborn.”
      I told him, with all due respect - he has absolutely ZERO clue the cruelty she is capable of.
      I have spent EVERY DAMNED DAY with her, for the past DECADE.
      He responded with “You’re right. I’m sorry. All I can do is sit here, listen and be present with you.”
      He’s the first person who’s known my mother for an extensive period of time, whom was willing to say something, such as that, to me.
      I was really afraid I wouldn’t be able to reconnect with him, in the manner I would like - and be fully honest about what I have survived, and who I have become, as result.
      And for someone with very limited capacity to feel fear, myself - that’s stating quite a bit.
      I am so thankful he is taking what I share at face-value, and isn’t questioning what I am saying.
      Especially because I don’t have a clear view of who I am, anymore - and can feel like I am not worth believing or listening to.

  • @isobelle.London
    @isobelle.London Год назад +4

    Once he moved me in the abuse began it was lightening speed

  • @stephanieschulze179
    @stephanieschulze179 Год назад +14

    You are so on the point. The engagement, the wedding(it was more about him & his buddies pulling pranks) horrible night & entire honeymoon which he invited his family to, when I told him I was pregnant --- he actually told me " maybe you aren't!" Yeah! Also more distant when he changed careers! I felt left behind & was only there to be his mother & take care of him. So wish I had left SOONER!!!

  • @Eleniexp
    @Eleniexp Год назад +10

    Yep the moment we bought a home and moved in together

  • @tishataray
    @tishataray Год назад +13

    My ex narc dropped it after I went away abroad 4 a few weeks without him...he said I abandoned him and that I was now indebited to him....he made my vacay miserable

  • @susanparker9877
    @susanparker9877 Год назад +6

    My ex husband and I moved to a remote location, far from my family and friends. The emotional belittling started within days. We had been married for about 5 years. The glimpses I had previously seen turned into blatant, covert narcissism.

  • @daisydaffsforever723
    @daisydaffsforever723 Год назад +14

    This is all so true and exactly what happened in my relationship. I just didnt notice until I reflected on my life with him. I have been with him over 30 years and before I would think he was 'just him' but didnt think then he was a narcisist...but now my eyes are open. I just feel sorry for him that he has to feel so superior.

    • @Elsie144k
      @Elsie144k Год назад +1

      Luckily you- wish I could get to the feeling sorry for him part

  • @christianwininger77
    @christianwininger77 Год назад +5

    Mine was right after the “I love you”

  • @brendadean9291
    @brendadean9291 9 месяцев назад +1

    My marriage went through all the 5 Pivotol moments that you mentioned in EXACTLY the same order. Unbelivable !!! It is comforting to know in the comments that other people went to similar mishaps.

  • @percystreet
    @percystreet Год назад +3

    With hindsight…..on our wedding night, my new wife was more concerned with drinking in the bar with her friends….then on the wedding morning she insisted on us having breakfast with her parents and brother and sister-in-law……..weird

    • @deb2319
      @deb2319 9 месяцев назад

      Yeah there is that stuff-part of it. And they abandon your family ..its just about their agenda.

  • @TrustintheLord860
    @TrustintheLord860 4 месяца назад +1

    My covert left after we were together eight years, and got married… moving in triggered her, and she discarded me. She immediately rebounded. I had no idea she was a covert narcissist until months later. It is devastating. Often, I want to appeal to her heart and explain her wounds to her, but I know she would not listen.

  • @passion8princess261
    @passion8princess261 Год назад +9

    Excellent video Ben. I only wish I had known this 30 years ago. I was married to him for 34 years and every 5 of these was spot on, only then I didn't know what I was dealing with, thanks for educating us.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  Год назад +1

      You are welcome

    • @dianerogers8791
      @dianerogers8791 Год назад +5

      Same Here. married. wish i knew this over 30yrs ago . wish I knew what I was dealing with .

    • @stephanieschulze179
      @stephanieschulze179 Год назад +2

      You & me both ! We deserved better.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  Год назад +1

      Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones

  • @StandingInMyPower
    @StandingInMyPower Год назад +6

    1.) My ex hated my children from my first marriage.
    2.) 2nd pregnancy w/his he sought out prostitutes
    3.) Pattern continues with his new GF. They spent 5 days together at his place and blew up at her because she was over stimulated. She is autistic. Mask came down.
    4.) He is planning on moving in with new GF after only 4 months of dating in July.
    What I noticed is that the mask fell so much faster than in our 19 year relationship. I worry about that woman. Sounds selfish but better her than me. Save yourself. Keep safe.

    • @michellestephenson9349
      @michellestephenson9349 Год назад +1

      It’s up to her to figure that out, you just worry about you! I have an obsessive desire to know if my ex is doing the same things to the new supply as he did to me. And how does she react? It’s so annoying

    • @ametrineambrosia4929
      @ametrineambrosia4929 2 месяца назад

      If she is autistic, it will be even harder for her!

  • @pauladuncanadams1750
    @pauladuncanadams1750 Год назад +6

    "Hey sweetheart, I just looked at the calendar. It's been six weeks since our wedding and we haven't had sex once since our wedding night. That's weird!"

  • @misslornamae
    @misslornamae 3 месяца назад +1

    I consider a self aware narcissist an absolute oxymoron. On top of lack of empathy, entitlement, grandiosity is an utter lack of insight and awareness. Like they would set themselves on fire before admitting they are a narc.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад

      Most are not willing to be honest with themselves yes. But there is no where it is shown impossible. There are a lot of narcissists that are aware. The difference is they have to care to want different results and change

  • @heavenlyprecog23
    @heavenlyprecog23 Год назад +1

    I experienced #4 and #5 unfortunately and now I’m dealing with a toxic coparent 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ but I woke up to that situation and am no longer attached to him. HIGHLY disrespectful son of a B!!! So glad I never moved in, got engaged or married ANY of the narcissistic men I’ve met in my life 😊😊😊

  • @sevalsonmez96
    @sevalsonmez96 Год назад +1

    8. When they find a good job..

  • @divinelyguided.111
    @divinelyguided.111 Год назад +2

    It all happened as soon as we got married!!! I thought we were good or was a total shock i hadn't an ideas !!! AND I WAS PREGNANT!! OH MY GOD!!! And Our second child!!!😢

  • @fightswithspirits915
    @fightswithspirits915 Год назад +1

    1) when I asked what her and her best male friend spoke about? (DEMON FACE)
    2) reaction toward women who flirted with me (MURDER LURCH)
    3) when i shook her kumbucha lmooooo (HATRED)

  • @pauladuncanadams1750
    @pauladuncanadams1750 Год назад +2

    Yep.

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnn 7 месяцев назад +1

    SOOOOOOOO TRUE

  • @linnea3314
    @linnea3314 Год назад

    Yes, right after the wedding.

  • @KJxxoo
    @KJxxoo Год назад +1

    Ok so I’m binging your videos to try and understand whether my partner is or is not a covert narcissist. And the part about the kids hit me.. not in regards to my partner, but his friend. I cut him off months ago because I just didn’t like him.. I found him rude and arrogant. But anyway, he used to tell my toddler stupid things like “don’t share your toys with your younger brother” (who I was pregnant with at the time) or making jokes about him bashing him up. The whole thing was sick. And he wanted us to make him and his wife guardians if anything ever happened to us. Um, no.

  • @lha816
    @lha816 5 месяцев назад +1

    How they treat you when you are poorly

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  5 месяцев назад

      We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass

  • @deb2319
    @deb2319 9 месяцев назад

    Really Good Talk Ben. TY 🙏💯🌱

  • @elmaswanepoel1598
    @elmaswanepoel1598 Год назад

    Spot on

  • @valinc.6694
    @valinc.6694 Год назад

    Thank You

  • @doreendroste5318
    @doreendroste5318 Год назад

    So true.

  • @sherriflemming3218
    @sherriflemming3218 Год назад +1

    7 Characteristics Of A Love Avoidant podcast ----Kenny Weis It's commonly mistaken for Narcissism
    The Benefits You Get From Picking Broken Men Kenny Weiss
    When An Emotionally Broken Man Is Using A Woman He'll Show These Signs Jonathan Aslay
    Your value comes from loving yourself not another person. Self love is a vaccine to emotional chaos.

  • @J.Franco-e4t
    @J.Franco-e4t 8 месяцев назад

    He went to a bar while i am in hospital. In Labor😢

  • @margaretkyle7568
    @margaretkyle7568 8 месяцев назад

    Question: should I EVER talk to a member of the narcissists family who I was close with about what happened and how I feel? Are they truly all on THEIR side?

    • @margaretkyle7568
      @margaretkyle7568 8 месяцев назад

      I kind of feel stupid for asking 😕

    • @ametrineambrosia4929
      @ametrineambrosia4929 2 месяца назад

      I assume so. My ex's mom died, never knowing he raped me. Even if that came out, they probably wouldn't believe me.

  • @valinc.6694
    @valinc.6694 Год назад +1

    Yup i didn't meet the real him after 11 years until we got engaged..
    Then i started to see him with out his mask ..
    He took me around other women he had a 3some with..
    Arfued more ..
    Called me his mom who passed when he was 9 yrs old ..
    Stealing right out ..
    Stole my id and told me " it was none if my business "
    I wrote a book and mire to come ..
    Stsrted my RUclips channel..
    Narssist Abuse & Recovery Academy..

  • @babystagg5847
    @babystagg5847 Год назад

    #AHDEATH} Iz Ah #HUGE1 Al$o .!!!. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. 😂🤣

  • @CmarieWelch
    @CmarieWelch 5 месяцев назад

    TOO MUCH INTRO!!!

  • @starburst2245
    @starburst2245 5 месяцев назад

    You still haven't explained the 5 pivotal moments of when a narcissist mask fall off you're just jumping from topic to topic and talking about what happens when the narcissist Mass fall off, but you still haven't explained those five pivotal moments!!! 🤪🤪🤪🤪

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  5 месяцев назад

      I literally said number one number two did you not listen to the video?

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  5 месяцев назад

      If you missed it, number one was moving in together. The rest are inside the video. You just have to watch it.