BloodRayne 2: Deliverance - Phelous
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2015
- Rayne shows us how the west was really ruined forever by Uwe Boll. But hey! At least we find out Billy the Kid was a vampire!
phelous.com
/ phelous
Originally Released: July 5, 2012 
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![J.P., NLE Choppa - Bad Bitty (Remix) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/rBDa6BCvw10/mqdefault.jpg)
"Mommy, Sally didn't make it." Yes, those are the exact words you'd expect a child to use when telling her mother how a sibling got eaten by a vampire. "Sally didn't make it." That is so totally how kids talk. Screenwriting's a gift, and someone's talent cup overfloweth.
Shame, it's only a mL capacity.
These idiots never lost a sibling at a young age or have but didn't care like the sociopaths they are. Kids are broken when they lose a sibling. After all they are human and capable of forming bonds. These bonds are strongest at a young age so losing someone is deeply traumatic. Hollywood doesn't know how humanity works.
PhantomDragon1992
Refering to an Uwe Boll movie as Hollywood seems wrong... xD
Kefka Palazzo hmm...good point.
Phantomile
To be fair if my siblings lost me they’d only be sad for like 5 minutes
You know, it's rather ironic that Billy the Kid is a vampire in this film, since we all know he fought Dracula.
I mean he's also fought *alongside* dracula too, so make of that what you will.
Maybe he got bitten in the end? :P
Well I guess we know who won that fight
Okay, you guys gotta tell me what movie ur all talking about.
It’s not Young Guns or Young Guns 2 🤔🧐
Billy the Kid...napper.
lol there it is!!!
Ohhhh 😮 FACED!!!!!!
for real tho Phelan Porteous arms lookin pretty beefy in that farmer shirt.
Had the same thought. Quite surprising, actually, in a good way.
There is literally zero point to this being a vampire movie. Billy the Kid wants control of a town, so he kidnaps all the children in order to blackmail the adults, and Raynie Oakley has to stop him. The only role the vampire element has in the story is that Billy wants control of the town so that he can vamp people once they start coming in on the new railroad (which, as Phelous points out, doesn't make sense anyway, because why wouldn't he just wait until the railroad was finished and people were already coming in?)
the conversation of the villagers near the end: "WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!" "Should we DO something?" "WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING!" "Should we DO something?"
I like-ara your answere
So THAT'S how the Monitors got started
siro: we gotta do somthing!
kung lao: we gotta do nothing
siro: *crumples paper* thats it
It's amazing how Uwe Boll can make cowboy vampires BORING. That takes some talent.
Phelous's "Da da da da!" is hilarious! 😂
+PlushQueen 17:28 L.O.L blame a good ole kick butt vampire hunter for
random shenanigans not in the making…seems legit!!!
MaggieCandy agreed xD
Apparently it’s the director guy doing that😅
Yep. It’s Uwe Boll.
It's based on a game, of COURSE she doesn't have the eye any more, characters always lose their items, skills, and levels between games. And isn't character resetting the most important thing to translate into film?
Andy Semple but this is a movie not a game you can't just reset
Hannah Burris It's like, you got the humour... but it still managed to go over your head. GG.
Andy Semple what?
Hannah Burris That was the point. It was sarcasm.
Andy Semple OHHHHH I'm an idiot
Why the hell are those guys banging on a railroad track that has already been laid down? With pickaxes!?
There's even grass growing between the ties!
Answer: Uwe Boll. :/
Sledgehammers for track nails, sure, but pickaxes? that'd be a tool ye'd use in that timeframe to DISMANTLE the railroad tracks I'd reckon.
IAmTheUnison it's people like him that people question Hollywood's own grasp on reality and humanity
It's Fortnite and they're mining for Steel.
19:45 Linkara: WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING! Should we do something?
MUMUMUMUist YES, YOU SHOUD *DO* SOMETHING, YOU BORING IDIOTS!
+MUMUMUMUist We should do something!
I think we should do something... Should we do something though?
In all seriousness, maybe we should do something
My god, how do you make Billy the Kid as a freaking vampire boring? How? D:
It's Uwe Boll's only talent.
Such terrible power would make Magneto shudder...
It requires a special talent to make things that could be even vaguely interesting boring. Unfortunately, Boll has it.
But...Billy the kid fought Dracula.
@@mikebowermaster8513 ...and even that movie, which easily could've been just a rejected Gunsmoke script hastily changed to have vampires in it, was better.
(no complaints about John Carradine as Dracula though)
Phelous really rocks the cowboy look
Dang it Phelous, stop uploading so many reviews. I have school work to do.
Mudoh415 But you can listen to him review movies that don't look too friendly while doing your work! Everyone wins!
+Webshooters1 yea cool beans indeed bro!!
Screw school work
I honestly took some time to realize that the guy clapping with a wristwatch in his arm was Boll himself. lol
The ultimate video game cross over fight! Rayne vs the Postal Dude!
It's really sad that this movie isn't fucking amazing. I mean come on, VAMPIRE COWBOYS! Yes it would always be silly but it could have been the amazing kind of silly.
Glad to see the origin story of Nikolai from RE: Apocalypse
This was awesome! Zack Ward's final attack. He was running while trying to not step into the pubbles...maybe the boots where just borrowed and Uwe had to bring them back after the movie.
Badjoke Maker in the West some puddles hide deep holes. Many a horse's ankle was broken because of holes. And water tends to be murky because nature hates us.
This movie was based on an alternate costume from Bloodrayne 2 for PS2
I'm not joking
So what you're saying is if he directed a movie based on Resident Evil 4, it'd be about a 20s-30s gangster and a knight who repeatedly gets kidnapped without fighting back?
so Uwe Boll is wearing a modern watch in a clapping scene? Why even bring a modern watch to the set??? Who even uses wrist watches anymore??
John Smith Lots of people wear watches.
John Smith I read somewhere he genuinely did it as an Easter egg. I think it was a quote from an interview, but he thought it was really, really funny and clever.
+Ashley Marie It's funny that his style of filmmaking is so sloppy in general that nobody realized it was on purpose.
@@wadespencer3623 i think it's more likely that he's talking bullshit and doesn't want to admit he's a hack...
@@ginogatash4030 I'd agree, but since when does Boll try to hide that he's a hack? He takes phone calls during his director's commentary, he VERY openly doesn't give a fuck.
That Silent Hill clip never ceases to be grating as hell.
Haa I'm seeing your pattern now Phelan. Two videos a day, nice. It's especially handy since there are certain videos I can't actually watch on your website for some reason.
every time i see that clip im more and more convinced that that guy forgot to take his watch off before filming.
BloodRayne is the mitch buchannon of these movies. MY KILL!
*The following are the musings of a Salty SEAGULL named EARL who just shows up in my posts whenever he feels like it!*
[EARL the Salty SEAGULL:] 24:14 - "I wonder does Phelous waking into the green screen sunset count as him dying at the end of the review? Well he was technically a vampire in the first Bloodrayne review and as far as I know he wasn't a dhampir, so I guess it does (provided you don't count the outtakes from the stinger)!"
Another great video, Phelan.
Oh, well! At least they tried!
I love how they drew you on your channel banner.
I don't know why, but it reminds me of Goldenrod City of the Johto region.
you never understood that joke. spamming is unhlpful
I swear it sounds like the girl from silent hill says "Violet Hell".
That sounds like a rock album....
Laura B
I can see that.
I thought it was "I'm in hell!" for quite a while
“Violet Hill” - she’s just a really big Coldplay fan.
damn phelous your arms are ripped!
I was introduced to Zack Ward through "Titus." And he deserves better. He deserves so much better.
Today, the reporter would be played by Josh Gad
Did you notice you can blatantly see Boll's wrist watch in the scene where he's clapping? I know it's a Boll movie, but it still looks hilariously out of place
Brought up in previous video
that ending
I think the journalist character was taken from the one in Unforgiven. Of course, comparing THIS movie to something like Unforgiven only serves to highlight its suckitude!
While weather can affect literal spots like a building, I am positive it was a different location.
15:42 entertainment logic at it's best.
Now that you've mentioned it, Rayne WAS a bad lucky charm in the games, so TECHNICALLY, boll DID transfer that into his films (yes, I feel dirty for admitting that). Death list (SPOILERS!):
-Rayne's mother and her side of the family (cause of death was not specified, but was painful, at least according to Kagan, and the number of dead family members was also not specified, but it included "everyone", according to Rayne).
-The survivors of Morton, Louisiana (Kazi, Jean Sigmon, Deputy Gorham, Christine Beauregard, that guy in overalls, and anyone else I forgot were all eaten alive by the Maraisreq, or in the case of the Christine's father, Mr Beauregard shot by a zombie because Rayne didn't act quickly enough).
-Mynce (eaten alive, then had her heart ripped out)
-Professor Trumaine (gutted and garroted with his own intestine),
-other staff at Brimstone HQ including the dying librarian.
Plus, in the second game, she explicitly states that she doesn't care about the kidnapped people.
...Yup. Boll got her motivations spot on.
Billy the Kid vs. Dracula (reviewed by The Cinema Snob during Public Domain Month) is a much better movie that this.
All these years later I finally realized the reporter character is just a rip-off of the same character in Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven.
Some filmmakers can do shakycam well. They know how to do it properly, with long lenses, etc. Here, you can tell that Boll was just like 'Shake the camera back and forth, haha, brilliant!'
If Rayne ever teamed up with the Winchesters who would make it out alive?
lol i have no clue yet,hahahahahahahaha!!!
The Reviewer XD winchesters maybe since they are worst charms then rayne
I kind of wonder if this was originally meant to be a movie unrelated to the Bloodrayne franchise but got retooled to include the character.
Winter Steele It's an Uwe Boll, movie. He knew what the fuck he was doing.
Zack Ward was the bully from A Christmas Story
Woah Phelous where the fuck did those guns of yours come from?! Holy shit.
What accent is Billy the Kid even attempting here…and why? Billy was an American. Even if he turned into a vampire he wouldn’t talk like Bella Legosi!
2:13 Holy shit it's Scut Farkus!
Cowboy cosplay?
Cutiepie upgraded to studmuffin.
;p
that's a western setting? really? they managed to do something a hundredfold better looking on a BBC sci-fi budget in the dry and dusty land of the UK.
Billy the Kid! What a rotten name! We were trapped. There he stood, between us and the kidnapped children. Billy the Kid, staring out at us with his yellow eyes. He had yellow eyes! So help me, Boll! Yellow eyes! Michael Paré lay there like a slug. It was his one defense.
Your different outfits are always fun to see🥳
No idea who Billy the kid is😅
2.2.22
Billy the Kid was a well known gunslinger in the Wild West that I know existed, and pretty much nothing else.
Ah Titus a one shot series folks probably forgot about... Remember That 80s Show?
Oh yea with Dennis Reynolds lol. Brad did a Binge watch on it. Pretty funny :)
ruclips.net/video/ANgmloWFmm8/видео.html
Review alone in the dark
And I thought playing Nicolai in Resident Evil Apocalypse was the lowest point of Zack Wards career...
"Great continuity👍: the movie"
22:25 it just says it all LOL.
lol 17:23 no poop society…ok seems legit!!!
Phelan! Could you review Barbarian (not the twins one, give that to Allison) and Malignant?
Think maybe you might tackle Postal?
I'm pretty sure hitting a rail track with a pickax isn't good for it, nor how you build it?
15:43 DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH!
Oh hey, Bacardi, nice choice of Drink
Geez, if the cameraman drunk?
RabbitHole20 He was drunk, underpaid, had no money for a tripod and he was missing a leg! 😁
Wait... was this Bloodrayne 2: Electric Boogaloo?
Editing error at 18:57.
Not sure if it really is an error or a joke.
18:57 to 19:04
Flubbing that line was part of his point
Although I’ll be honest I didn’t even catch that until you pointed it out
Seems Phelous never got around to do the third film.
Not to mention Blubbarella.
Covered them both:
ruclips.net/video/dtmWBSrJhM4/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/JycjlgUmZ34/видео.html
It's as if Uwe Boll wants the movies to fail. He tries so hard to make bad movies.
That's because he only made them to exploit the German tax write-off...such is my understanding.
Mike Huber xD
Ye, if the movie turned to be a flop, you could get free money from state. As a result Boll and his investors were happy and could make more fails on purpose, until Merkel and company got a little smarter and fixed the law. People say he's new Ed Wood, but that guy always wanted to be a director and was full of passion about it, he absolutely loved making movies even if he was hardly the sharpest tool in the shed. Boll is far worse but I guess he had lots of money which is how he got even some more famous actors to play for him.
Everyone booed when Phelous made the joke about the origin of Billie's nickname. But I said "boo-urns"
Alice vs Bloodrayne: Who would win?
I don’t know why, but the fact that he keeps bringing how the annoying character is a reporter makes it even funnier. Kinda gives the image that he’s offended news reporters…Which I can get.
Is there ever the chance of you reviewing BloodRayne 3?
ruclips.net/video/VRVipGVjlHE/видео.html
Phelan Porteous
Thanks. Should've looked it up myself before, since it was the first hit when searching for it on RUclips.
Boll really took every opportunity he had to destroy Rayne's character its sad to see a character that you spent hours in the games with. Developing, being a badass that wasn't Extremely over too done as far as Fan service to be completely changed to an almost unrecognizable person excluding hair color , being damphir, and name...
Uwe Boll really doesn't know how to write female characters like...at all.
@@mesousagaby740 Does Boll know how to write characters of any gender?
This must have been a direct-to-video movie found only in the $2 bargain bin at Kroger's.
You want a good vampire western, look up Near Dark. You will thank me.
12:35 DOODLY-DOODLY-DOOP-DOOP-DOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man the camera wobbles so much, they forgot the tripod? Or was the cameraman drunk?
The sheriff didn't even bother yousing his doublebarel or aim at his head, like wtf?
Zach Ward and no Christmas Story reference. Never seen that before.
👀 Freddy Vs Jason
*looks closely* GREAT CONTINUITY!🤣
I HAD TO, ok?
Hi
A western with vampire……
Clever….?🤷♀️
2.2.22
Looks interesting and odd
Ew! The quality is.. just... Horrible! This wasn't filmed on camera, but with a potato!
Are you going to do the 3rd?
It's been done and he just uploaded it to RUclips. The rest of his videos are on his website or blip.com.
PhilJr Sweetness!
Titus? Are we in final fantasy?😜
2.2.22
18:56
At least the first two Bloodrayne movies aren't as bad as the third one...I didn't even finish watching it because of good reasons...
Thankskilling is hopefully on the way. It has been unwatchable for over three years.
I have never seem the review and I am greatly waiting in antici...........
PATION!
Balloon Sage Might come out on Thanksgiving or Canadian Thanksgiving.
Who watches Uwe Movies that arent on sci fi or cable?
Is Zack Ward doing German accent? Why exactly? Billy the Kidd wasn't German and neither is he.
is it just me, or does Billy the Kid look kinda like John Blye?
makes me ashamed to have the same name
Joe Gage!!
These moves are so bad that it's hard to even watch the clips in this awesome review. Brave Boll!
How did Bloodrayne get sequels? THERE IS NO GOD
+Madeline Van Dongen lol why so serious??!!!!!!
Jeffrey314159 lol true
Actually this is his judgment upon mankind.
No, no, God allowed them so Phelous would have to review them.
Fallout 4 ad = boingggg
I get a real Emo Philips vibe from this guy's vocal delivery.
Phelous, maybe the clapper is a traveler from the future. Hence the Rolex. Cowboy vampires, time traveling... It's a Uwe Boll movie, for God's sake!
Review far cry
18:56 Genuine fuck up or stupid joke I'm not getting?
“Show them something worse and accept the lesser crap later on”
I think it was part of the point
Wszystko i wszyscy się wypalają nie mają pomysłów. Ciekawe pomysły są w Deus Ex Invisible War. Ale trzeba by było od nowa wszystko stworzyć lepiej. Aktorom się nie chce bo mało kasy.