Welcome to the World, where nobody cares what you can do, only what friends and connections you have. Oh, and I'm sort-of an unemployed writer too. Sympathies.
MCVivi That's my main job, haha. Digital art. That's why I said "sort-of" an unemployed writer, cause that's only my second job. You desperately need one of those if you dare being a painter or something. Go, starving artists!
The black guy who wore the backwards baseball cap was at least fortunate enough to become one of the interns on Bones. His character even got to become part of an archeological team (which was what he preferred to forensics).
Of course the most frightening thing in this movie isn't the giant snakes, but rather the idea of Corporate America shelling out immortality to the highest bidder. Imagine a world where super-rich douchebags live for centuries on end, hardly aging and never dying. THAT, my friends, is true terror!!
Plz they would destroy the flower because why would they want people to get healthy and live forever when they can make people pay money for being sick
It is, and the worst thing is, everyday scientists work to make this nightmare a reality. Immortal tyrants with endless money. Then again, since the sons and daughters of such people very rarely differ from their parents and what they did, it makes very little difference if such immortality ever comes to pass. The sons and daughters of billionaire fucks who destroy nature and undermine democracy do as their parents did.
Wait, Indonesia? The writers seriously couldn't even set their movie in a country the title species in indigenous to? Pretty sure anyone with access to the internet can look up to find out that anacondas are indigenous to South America.
I think the snakes in this movie are actually boas. They even have different appearances than the anaconda. They could have gone with a better title I guess
Wait... a greedy pharmaceutical corporation sends a research expedition into the jungle to procure a rare flower that grants mankind immortality? They should have called this movie 'Resident Evil: Anacondas'...
What is it with bad horror movies and leaving the character(s) you want most dead left alive at the end? Is it just to piss the audience off on purpose or something?
"So they all get angry at Jack for his wanting to press forward when it was _extra_ unsafe, because that was the cause of waterfalls and giant snakes." lol
snake venom isn't poisonous only venomous. it needs direct access to your bloodstream to do anything so drinking it would be okay (unless you have a cut in your digestive system).
Yup! Venom is injected (snakes, jellyfish, etc.), poison is ingested (mushrooms, blowfish, etc.). Drinking venom might make you a little sick, but you'll be fine. So Phelous just passed out from rapid-onset stomach distress XD
Was the surprise monkey the main character? 😆 I don't see the director's point for having it act surprised so many times. LOL Awesome review, Phelous ✨😁
Hey, Phelous, there are no anacondas in Borneo. They are only native to South America. How come you didn't point that error out? It's probably the stupidest thing in the whole movie.
Nope they don't. They have massive Burmese pythons. Here in South Florida, we have them both and they're having super mutant babies together. I'm not kidding Burmese and anacondas are fucking each other producing Godzilla snakes.
Then they would be an invasion species, then. The characters were right wiping the anacondas out. If I remember the ending correctly, however I doubt that was what the movie was going.
Technically the word Anaconda is actually from Sri Lanka and was given by explorers to Sucuri. And there are pythons in Borneo, including the anaconda-sized Reticulated python. Of course, I think the people who made this film actually think South American Anacondas also live in Indonesia
The spider looks like a golden silk orb weaver, one of two spiders known as the banana spider. This banana spider is named for it's long yellow abdomen and has a painful, but not deadly bite.
@@mlpfanboy1701 yes, I have heard of that one. But has a completely different appearance. They are named for their habit of hanging out in banana clusters. Those poor fruit harvesters
Yeah, that was a crocodile.... Not a caiman like it should have been in South America. So surprised that the movie about a giant murder snake doesn't know its biology. Oh wait they are in Indonesia? So... It is the anacondas that shouldn't be there at all.
Hey phelous! Brilliant reviews dude, i just discovered you on the tube and i have been binging on your videos all day! Loving your horror movie reviews! Subscribed!
I was wondering where I recognized the black chick and I realized that she's Salli Richardson, Black Dynamite's love interest and more importantly the voice of Elisa from Gargoyles.
I never though about the fact that the first anaconda movie might have had multiple anacondas. It would definitely explain how its able to eat so much.
wtf no anacondas are in asia im not even sure any type of python even also if they kept going up the river in one scene then down then back up how the fuck did they get anywhere?
Wow Bill threatned to tell the rescuer's wife about her husband cheating on her in Thailand. So yes it's important to know his wife is dead since it makes that threat a futile useless 1.
Subscribed Man, I have no idea why I haven't watched your own stuff. I feel RUclips does really try to guide people to certain other peoples videos and such... Anyways, another great episode.
Nope RUclips works on this system where it recommends stuff that has a high number of views which is probably the worst way it could work as it puts all the power in the hands of a small amount of people most of whom pander to the 6-12 year old demographic
Not only is this a world of immortality flowers and giant snakes that just wait around to eat people, it's also a world where you can go over a waterfall when you're traveling UPRIVER (yes, they are going UPRIVER, the blonde girl says so at 3:03). Apparently, the screenwriters were unaware that water flows downhill (and that anacondas don't live in Borneo). And of course the captain has to be a white guy, because this is a Hollywood movie, and that means the blonde girl can't end up with an Asian, because God forbid.
Why did it even move to Asia? And there are no Anacondas in Asia, as someone already pointed out, and the first movie also hwd animals that shouldn't be in the Amazon.
I think the reason for the boat going over a waterfall is when the boat was on the river it came to a fork and drifted into the wrong part of the river because with everyone asleep then how would they know if it did drifted into the wrong part of the river and also am I the only one that thought of going into the water to try to salvage what they could of their boat was a good idea?
One question: Why didn't you point out that anacondas aren't even native to Borneo? The fact that this movie takes place there, and anacondas are native to South America (only), is probably the most stupid thing of this movie.
I think you try too hard on the first two Anaconda, they're not easy to make fun of. Now the last two sequels (and the crossover with Lake Placid), now those are delicious comedy-material! ;D
@@oren1305 Anaconda (1997), Lake Placid (1999), and Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004) are lightyears better than any of the direct-to-video abominations. Perhaps not perfect, but great (and very underrated) films still. Definitely awesome creature features.
+Xenosaurian Well, I haven't seen much of any of those films, so I'll simply have to watch them myself to really be sure. Yeah, I never said these movies were the worst ones I'd ever seen. I just said they weren't good. And my fav creature features will always be the monster movies of the 1930s, that, and the Brandon Fraser Mummy movie, (only the first one though). Not to mention The Thing, which is a cut above the rest.
Captain Awesome: "Are you okay?"
Annoying Bitch: "I lost my phone."
Phelous: "Throw her back in."
Me: Dead from laughing too hard.
LOL XD
I'm an unemployed writer. The existence of this movie and everything in it makes me cry.
Someone! Was! Paid! For! This!
Hope you get some well-paying work soon dude.
Welcome to the World, where nobody cares what you can do, only what friends and connections you have.
Oh, and I'm sort-of an unemployed writer too. Sympathies.
MCVivi That's my main job, haha. Digital art. That's why I said "sort-of" an unemployed writer, cause that's only my second job. You desperately need one of those if you dare being a painter or something. Go, starving artists!
Or someone who can come up with premises for stories
*Writing! Doesn't! WORK THIS WAY!*
The black guy who wore the backwards baseball cap was at least fortunate enough to become one of the interns on Bones. His character even got to become part of an archeological team (which was what he preferred to forensics).
THAT’S CLARK EDISON!?!
Yeah. He also played John Diggle's brother in _Arrow._
"Don't go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and streams that you're used to."
Of course the most frightening thing in this movie isn't the giant snakes, but rather the idea of Corporate America shelling out immortality to the highest bidder. Imagine a world where super-rich douchebags live for centuries on end, hardly aging and never dying. THAT, my friends, is true terror!!
Isn't that the premise of Time Out ? Are you implying this is a prequel/related to Time Out
Plz they would destroy the flower because why would they want people to get healthy and live forever when they can make people pay money for being sick
It is, and the worst thing is, everyday scientists work to make this nightmare a reality. Immortal tyrants with endless money. Then again, since the sons and daughters of such people very rarely differ from their parents and what they did, it makes very little difference if such immortality ever comes to pass. The sons and daughters of billionaire fucks who destroy nature and undermine democracy do as their parents did.
Making some bold claims Dracula.
More extremist groups and criminal organization would try to kill these douchebags if they knew the rich guys had immortality pills.
Wait, Indonesia? The writers seriously couldn't even set their movie in a country the title species in indigenous to? Pretty sure anyone with access to the internet can look up to find out that anacondas are indigenous to South America.
I think the snakes in this movie are actually boas. They even have different appearances than the anaconda. They could have gone with a better title I guess
OH I GET IT! Jin Soon - Jon Soon - John Son - Johnson. It only took two years for me to figure it out...
Wait... a greedy pharmaceutical corporation sends a research expedition into the jungle to procure a rare flower that grants mankind immortality? They should have called this movie 'Resident Evil: Anacondas'...
Gabriel Love Or Aliens.
Should've called this movie "Capitalism".
A giant snake sandwich!
No because then we would need Alice in this
...and that's the plot of "The Leach Woman"
Anaconda seems hilariously unrealistic until you see some pics of real wild Anacondas being caught by natives. Holy crap.
MforMovesets yes, but these movie anacondas are unrealistic compared to the real deals.
The director told that actress that she's the "J-Lo" of this sequel, so y'know, act like Jennifer Lopez...and so she did!
5:28 Phelous, if Bradley Cooper ever stops voice acting Rocket Raccoon, you could be an excellent replacement! :D
You know what’s worse about this film? There are anacondas in *ASIA* when they are only found in *SOUTH AMERICA*
What is it with bad horror movies and leaving the character(s) you want most dead left alive at the end? Is it just to piss the audience off on purpose or something?
Snagrio you know you're backwards when you're having your audience rooting for the monster(s)
That or it's an Eli Roth movie - actually, maybe horror movies makers do tthat because they think Eli Roth is great.
Only some horror movies do that many kill them off
That's why he specified bad horror movies Jonathon.
Maybe the surprised/scared look was the only trick they could train the monkey to learn.
12:30 "Who cares that the anaconda already ate the captain? Goddamit, we need to blow up the boat!"
"So they all get angry at Jack for his wanting to press forward when it was _extra_ unsafe, because that was the cause of waterfalls and giant snakes."
lol
Venom is injected
Poison is digested
So you can effectively inject poison and not die or ingest venom and not die
SovietPlatypus injecting poisen will still kill you. You can eat venom because your digestive system destroys it before it can get into your blood.
snake venom isn't poisonous only venomous. it needs direct access to your bloodstream to do anything so drinking it would be okay (unless you have a cut in your digestive system).
redloiyu654jay no they are not for the same reason I stated in my original comment.
Ive never really thought of the difference!
Yup! Venom is injected (snakes, jellyfish, etc.), poison is ingested (mushrooms, blowfish, etc.). Drinking venom might make you a little sick, but you'll be fine. So Phelous just passed out from rapid-onset stomach distress XD
Talisguy Moral of the story: stay indoors since a lot of shit out there might kill you! 😀
kane bekkattla lol so if phelous had an ulcer he’s still in trouble 😂
Was the surprise monkey the main character? 😆 I don't see the director's point for having it act surprised so many times. LOL Awesome review, Phelous ✨😁
ai i maybe it’s the director monkey An wanted it to get famous lol but it only knows one look lol
CGI-made giant snakes are the cheapest movie monsters ever
Next to sharks
Idea-Invisible Cgi snake-shark.
Lollo
But it’s hard to make lines tween on a 3D plane
Tired of Snakes Guy: I'm tired of the MFing CGI Snakes in these MFing movies!
Practical snake effects are okay though.
OMG I wasn't expecting the Mike Jeavons cameo. Love it
Hey, Phelous, there are no anacondas in Borneo. They are only native to South America. How come you didn't point that error out? It's probably the stupidest thing in the whole movie.
And there aren't even anacondas in Asia...
Nope they don't. They have massive Burmese pythons. Here in South Florida, we have them both and they're having super mutant babies together. I'm not kidding Burmese and anacondas are fucking each other producing Godzilla snakes.
+Juci Shockwave
(Cue "The More You Know" music here)
Then they would be an invasion species, then. The characters were right wiping the anacondas out. If I remember the ending correctly, however I doubt that was what the movie was going.
@@LadyCoyKoi proof?
Technically the word Anaconda is actually from Sri Lanka and was given by explorers to Sucuri. And there are pythons in Borneo, including the anaconda-sized Reticulated python. Of course, I think the people who made this film actually think South American Anacondas also live in Indonesia
The spider looks like a golden silk orb weaver, one of two spiders known as the banana spider. This banana spider is named for it's long yellow abdomen and has a painful, but not deadly bite.
Wow, and the Movie portrays it like it would give acute paralysis
@@ChrisKunixProbably a made up species, but they needed a real spider as a prop.
@@ImaNerdANDaGeekSeems so
The other bannana spider is the Brazilian wonderer and that is absolutely deadly.
@@mlpfanboy1701 yes, I have heard of that one. But has a completely different appearance. They are named for their habit of hanging out in banana clusters. Those poor fruit harvesters
huh.... that was better than I thought it would be, not like the latter anaconda movies which are closer to being birdemic than anything else :-P
Get these motherfucking snakes, out of my motherfucking swamp! :P
Jeroen van Wees DONKEYYY!
This is one of my biggest guilty pleasures.
Yeah, that was a crocodile.... Not a caiman like it should have been in South America. So surprised that the movie about a giant murder snake doesn't know its biology. Oh wait they are in Indonesia? So... It is the anacondas that shouldn't be there at all.
Ahh Phelous you've always been my favorite reviewer and I love rewatching your stuff xD
One of the best crossovers I saw.... WOAH!!!! I SAID IT! :p
Hey phelous! Brilliant reviews dude, i just discovered you on the tube and i have been binging on your videos all day! Loving your horror movie reviews! Subscribed!
Bonz Gallen Thanks!
I hope u feel good getting a reply from my fav youtuber XD
please review the fright night remake sequel new blood
I was wondering where I recognized the black chick and I realized that she's Salli Richardson, Black Dynamite's love interest and more importantly the voice of Elisa from Gargoyles.
+Omar Harris Also Allison Blake from Eureka
That annoying lady is Elisa from Gargoyles!!!! Wow...that's crazy. Maybe Goliath should remarry Demona.
I never though about the fact that the first anaconda movie might have had multiple anacondas. It would definitely explain how its able to eat so much.
Man keep it up your awesome
You're , harem boy
did my ass just get bit? awe awesome!! LMFAO
LOOOOOOOOL, that part always gets me 5:49
MIkeJ and Phelous...the only two people from CA that I still watch :)
The beginning of "stupid surprised _____"
Nope. It's not the beginning of that gag. The first anaconda movie had stupid surprised Panther.
wtf no anacondas are in asia im not even sure any type of python even also if they kept going up the river in one scene then down then back up how the fuck did they get anywhere?
The movie takes place on borneo, which is infamous for its giant pythons. No anacondas though.
Wow Bill threatned to tell the rescuer's wife about her husband cheating on her in Thailand.
So yes it's important to know his wife is dead since it makes that threat a futile useless 1.
Well if that ending is any indication phelous is immortal now! No fucking wonder he could die in all of his earlier videos
This makes the first movie look almost watchable.
First Anaconda is great
@@cesarzpontu8886 It's terrible
@@Tareltonlives it is what it wants to be. Movie made for fun.
@@cesarzpontu8886 Yep. And I had no fun whatsoever
@@Tareltonlives that is sad
Noah Antwiler 4:50 "You okay lady?"
hey! my grandpa was from Borneo!
.....
why didn't he mention he moved to get away from shitty snake movies? MY LIFE IS A LIE
I'm surprised you didn't refer to Johnson as Chris Redfield lol
Mike J for the win! Cheers, mate! (Drinks tea as a toast.)
Subscribed Man, I have no idea why I haven't watched your own stuff. I feel RUclips does really try to guide people to certain other peoples videos and such... Anyways, another great episode.
Nope RUclips works on this system where it recommends stuff that has a high number of views which is probably the worst way it could work as it puts all the power in the hands of a small amount of people most of whom pander to the 6-12 year old demographic
You know what would rivatilize this franchise? David Hasselhoff, The Hoff. Oh, wait...
immortality is a curse and,if everyone had it then OVERPOPULATION
We could stop having babies
Immortality but no fucking? Hell NAW! And don't even say get vasectomy!
that last part is already a dire issue ....
OTOBIOhazord That's what condoms are for.
OTOBIOhazord Why? It's litteraly the best option...
"that'll be bigger than viagra" that killed me🤣🤣
11:10 as of the date i am watching this bill paxton has died..............thanks for the reminder
That Stupid Surprised Monkeytage was great, but it would've been better if it was scored with "My Heart Will Go On" or "Gymnopedie #1" instead.
also venom can't be injested
Poor monkey... bet it has PTSD with that many surprises.
Alison from Eureka? Oh come on, you're better than this.
Not only is this a world of immortality flowers and giant snakes that just wait around to eat people, it's also a world where you can go over a waterfall when you're traveling UPRIVER (yes, they are going UPRIVER, the blonde girl says so at 3:03). Apparently, the screenwriters were unaware that water flows downhill (and that anacondas don't live in Borneo). And of course the captain has to be a white guy, because this is a Hollywood movie, and that means the blonde girl can't end up with an Asian, because God forbid.
I wonder when we will learn immortality 2085
Totally amazing I still kind enjoy this movie it’s my guilt pleasure and I guess Jack is the villain of this movie from the hunter in the first one.
I hate the "I need my bath" lady more than Jennifer Lopez's character from the first movie.
10:00- *BUSHWHACKED*
Then there's Lake Placid vs. Anaconda. Review the Lake Placid films, and then the crossover
ya'll been drinkin kirk cameron's pretend hot chocolate, i see
sweet lifeforce cartridge on the right, that game is fantastic
i went to a science museum in sanfransico, that had the animatronic used in Anaconda
The monkey was super cute though.
Almost forgot the movie gives a explanation why the snakes are living longer and grown bigger and longer
At 16:44 don’t get to cocky, warn you lol 😂 Phelan good 👍🏻 one bro and you sure did cracked me up man big time bro 😎
Not a Eureka fan?
6:37 "Monkey!" - King Koopa from the Super Mario Bros Movie
3:34 Power Rangers Jungle Fury did the same thing at the beginning.
Why did it even move to Asia?
And there are no Anacondas in Asia, as someone already pointed out, and the first movie also hwd animals that shouldn't be in the Amazon.
I think you should upload the crocodile trilogy up next.
The end credits song is the only good memory I have if this movie it’s Already genetic so it fits the movie nicely.
I'm curious at the currency they ae using in this film. Are they seriously using USD in Borneo?
Wait did he poison him or make him drink venom cuz you can drink venom venom only works if it's injected into your bloodstream not if it's ingested
Please tell me that you reviewed the Hasselhoff sequel Phelous.
Hey it's that british mukbang guy who guest stars on his wife's show
Can you speak English?
AWESOMENESS 👍👍👍👏
I managed to tolerate this movie because I was focusing on the hunky white guy with the white shirt. 🤣
How the surprise monkey not a meme
Kaa the snake: trust in me
Liked purely for that Aliens reference.
Wow, Morris Chestnut was wasted in this movie
Did all this not happen on the original anaconda movie?
My anaconda don't like this movie!
Also what music is that from? 1:10
I think the reason for the boat going over a waterfall is when the boat was on the river it came to a fork and drifted into the wrong part of the river because with everyone asleep then how would they know if it did drifted into the wrong part of the river and also am I the only one that thought of going into the water to try to salvage what they could of their boat was a good idea?
Is there a part missing from this review?
Can someone point me in the direction of the other guys review? Always love seeing different reviews on the same shitty thing :)
Ice Cube was replaced by Chamillionaire in this one.
One question: Why didn't you point out that anacondas aren't even native to Borneo? The fact that this movie takes place there, and anacondas are native to South America (only), is probably the most stupid thing of this movie.
... wait... Gin Soon... ... how many bar fights has this guy started screaming like a baby about his booze to get that name? Im gonna say... 3
Anyone else notice these movies are bad rip offs of the alien series
I bet you get a ton of upvotes every time you comment on something, just because of your name.
I used to like this movie... what was my damage?
Where does phelan get his gun props
Was that the guy from Halo 5?
I think you try too hard on the first two Anaconda, they're not easy to make fun of. Now the last two sequels (and the crossover with Lake Placid), now those are delicious comedy-material! ;D
They're both still easy to make fun of, just like any mediocre horror film. They're also just slightly better than the later sequels.
@@oren1305 Anaconda (1997), Lake Placid (1999), and Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004) are lightyears better than any of the direct-to-video abominations. Perhaps not perfect, but great (and very underrated) films still. Definitely awesome creature features.
+Xenosaurian Well, I haven't seen much of any of those films, so I'll simply have to watch them myself to really be sure. Yeah, I never said these movies were the worst ones I'd ever seen. I just said they weren't good.
And my fav creature features will always be the monster movies of the 1930s, that, and the Brandon Fraser Mummy movie, (only the first one though). Not to mention The Thing, which is a cut above the rest.
@@oren1305 Love those as well!
+Xenosaurian Yeah. :)
The monkey is the only good actor in the entire franchise
even when I was seven I knew this movie was bad..
Whatever happened to Shameful Sequels?
Umm actually! That's not how venom works