"The right person is gonna see me and I don't mine being ignored by every body else ". This resonated with me. Thank you Essence. Truly a very insightful and interesting session.
My male cousin stated to me that majority of men say they want a grounded woman but really don't bcuz they don't know how to navigate with a woman of that nature, theyre used to being in full control and manipulating women
I'm reading a few comments above by black men and it's ridiculous. Who would find fault in a black woman saying ,"the right one would find her"? One guy above talking about "single women will keep women single" and she's just saying she will wait on the rite one. Who would have an issue with that? That's to be celebrated but not with those types of men. Nothing we do is rite with some of them. They hate us and don't want us to be great. If we speak on Godly things, some still find fault. If we speak on being in the streets, they find fault. I'm trying to not listen to them anymore. Those are the men who aren't for us.
What happened is Kevin Samuels appeared and all these POS dudes thought his message was to help a great woman find them. No he was helping them find a REAL MAN. All these dudes think they are real men but don’t even know how to fill a woman’s cup and don’t care to. She can’t pour onto everyone else if her cup isn’t spilling over bc then she won’t have anything for herself. There’s no more empathy and the men who took his place after he passed clouded everyone’s minds with these regurgitated talking points. We need new mature thought leaders who the young men see as cool enough to listen to. They tell you to avoid single moms so dudes with kids think that applies to THEM. “Avoid the ones who want you for your money” The broke dudes all swear this applies to them. It’s all screwed up now bc of Red Pill
Yes she knows only in Christ we have direction and stability. Jesus is our anchor. The devil has a plan to destroy and so many men and women are in his demonic web. Caught in abortion cults crime drugs evolution lies fornication adultery porn love of $$$ ( idols) gluttony, depression, family break up, suicide occult new age witchcraft Wicca satanism astrology ouija boards tarot cards psychics mediums divination sleep paralysis alien encounters / ufos ( demon manifestations to fool us ) haunted places, astral projection….. Truly we are in days where evil sinfulness is good …and holy living is bad. Matthew ch 24 days we are in. The days we are in 2023 is as evil as when Noah lived. Sin is rampant and accepted as normal. True Christians lifestyle is doing God’s will and living in God means thinking talking and behaviour is doing it a certain way. God’s way and not the world’s way. Ultimately doing it God’s way in surrender to His Lordship is a blessed life here and heaven for eternity. Hell will be a terrible existence.
My one takeaway from Essence is when she said that when we start to look at people as human beings instead of as a body; that is when we will treat people with dignity and respect. Love her spirit.
I usually say it like this, “Treat people as if they are brothers and sisters in Christ” which means you can walk away with grace and treat the other person with love in your heart that may not be an “Eros” love
I love that Essence said, "The right person is gonna see me and I don't mine being ignored by every body else." This is 100% my mindset as well. I'm going to keep living, growing, and investing in myself and others. Most importantly I'm going to continue to do the work and let GOD correct me along the way. I always pray that the right person will see me and I pray that I'll see him and we will have the courage to pursue each other in the moment. I love how graceful and beautiful Essence is inside and out. She's full of wisdom and discernment. I really appreciate her dedication to honoring GOD and giving JESUS CHRIST all of the GLORY! She's an amazing woman of GOD.
100 % I felt so identified when she said “ my phone doesn’t ring “ . I’ve been on the same journey as her for 7 years after my breakup. It is freeing to recognize our value and to be okay with being alone while we do the work and wait for the right person .
“You can tell me I’m great all you want but you’re not pursuing me and I know why. It’s because I require too much and that’s alright, I’m ok with that … I am audacious enough to believe I can have what I want” 🙌🏽 Gems of wisdom and strength ❤ Thank you Queen!
@DLC56 ditto. These black men always trying to tell a black woman she's unworthy. They act like they come to the table with so much to offer above what a woman does. Delusional
I'm a married woman, and I received all of this. She needs to be a reappearing guest because this was such a wholesome episode. That sober mindedness, that requiring discipline thing, whew. It hit me right where it needed to. I enjoyed this very much.
I thoroughly enjoyed this episode, too 😌✨ Essence’s message reminds me of 1 Peter Chapter 4. “Sober mindedness and self control” were both mentioned in that chapter. I read it during my devotion yesterday. The timing of this episode is spot on!
If you're really a (married) woman. Then why are you so preoccupied with who single women are dating ? Don't you think your attention should be focused on your (own) marriage ? Taking care of your (own) family ? Being a good wife to your (own) husband ? Not sitting on RUclips worrying about the lives of single people. ("You Don't Even Know)". 🤷JS.
@@magicworld3242 Essence is a divorced woman, not a single woman who was never married ( a huge difference), and there's no law that says you can't learn as a married woman from other sources; especially someone who was married and came to realize that she didn't really truly know or align w/her former spouse. There are multiple reasons for divorce, but the point of the matter is that even a married woman can learn from those who didn't necessarily get it all the way right.
@@riacollins3237 , Normally I wouldn't bother to answer. But, If you're a divorced woman and you haven't remarried, (YOU'RE SINGLE). If she's as wonderful, as she thinks she is "WHY IS SHE DIVORCED" ? God-Fearing women don't get divorced. They work on their marriage. Narcissistic women get divorced. Which leads me to believe.... Her ex-husband dumped her. So, she's not as remarkable as she thinks she is. A 50+ year old pre-geriatric woman, doesn't hold the same cards, as a 20+ year old woman. The manipulation of men greatly diminishes as she gets older. It doesn't make a difference if (one person) drove the car or if (ten) people drove the car. Essence is still sealing (USED) merchandise. You don't get top dollar for a (USED) product... SMH 🥴
I believe Essence spoke to the hearts of many women. Two very important points id like to reiterate: 1. Be true to yourself (compromise but don't settle) 2. See each other (men and women) as whole beings, not just body parts or tools to carry out acts of service.
@@timothyrobinson3938 As I said, she spoke to the hearts of many women. Not sure what you found wacky. What she said is common knowledge and echoes many of my thoughts and views, as well as those of older married women AND men (including family members) that I know.
Don't you find it suspect that black ppl especially black women are pushing dysfunction and promoting it ? Wakeup, no, she didn't speak for many black women. She spoke for herself. 70% of black women are not even on you tube.
I am so grateful for this episode. I’m in my late 40s and I lost my husband to Cancer over 4 years ago and the thought of another relationship, the narrative for mature women is that we should just settle. Essence, thank you! There’s lots of us out here doing for ourselves while abstaining and still believing our love and obedience to God and His Word is most important. Ryan and Tysean, thank you 🙏🏾.
@@vinnieraviolio6854 Your comment is cruel. She is a widow who lost her husband to cancer. She is very protected because The Most High has a special love for widows. Sometimes embrace silence.
@@tracienatural2405 It’s nothing but a hit dog hollering. What he’s saying is “I’m afraid no women will settle for me in my inadequacies, insecurities, and dark controlling ways. So, I create accounts on social media accounts and team up with other men who are low ball in behavior to make women who know that they don’t need us feel alone. Taunting works because I’m taunted by who I’m not and all I was taught was to just show up as a man because women have traditionally thought that not having a man means they’ve failed. I’m looking for failures to make me feel good about being a failure so I can step on them.” That’s all he’s saying
Omg. This episode has spoke to my spirit & really encouraged me to stay on my journey to heal thru a separation & soon to be divorce. ESSENCE & HARDLYINITIATED. THANK YOU
I am guilty. I put her in a box all these years. She said so many things that shocked me. I could write a book on this podcast based on my own journey. I live on the African continent, happily married to her twin soul. Otherwise, I would be asking for an introduction. I would be happy to see at least one of you brothers as the next guy we see her with. You heard what she said, step to her and assume your throne. You're both ready. We need to see all that African spirit (sorry, that's what that is) WITHIN the culture. And I am so excited to see her showing up to your show, two brothas, who I thought she wrote off with all that reverence. This just made my day. Thanks so much, brothers. Your work is so important and so needed. I am in the US briefly, but I will be watching your star rise from afar. I will be using your show to foster healthy conversation with my children as they come of age. Thank you so much.
Essence Atkins is not only gorgeous, but she has cultivated self awareness. She understands what she wants, needs and deserves; and that is powerful! I saw her on My Dear Wifey, that conversation was thought provoking and life changing… just like this show❤Every time I hear her speak, something shifts inside of me. She is so full of knowledge.
@@fooltosign Please pardon me; I stand corrected, it was Dear Future Wifey with Laterras R. Whitfield S:3, E301. The title was : Essence of Love. It was such a power episode!!
but most women with all these standards are not the prize they think they are. the men not doing it because that woman is not worth it. but most woman dont care what a man want. only their big check list of standards. you attract what you are. simple. men care about beauty, age, not a headache, a follower, feminine, can she have children?, a lot of woman are headaches. so its not about settling, its about being the best version of yourself to cater to the MANS needs and you will be wifed. worked for me.
I had to come back and say it’s very refreshing to see two Black men be involved in such a conversation and be mature af on a podcast, y’all betta BE THE EXAMPLES
I'm certain that having a career in Hollyweird makes it very challenging to live a true Christian life. You have to choose whom you will serve and consistently stand on God's Word,not just when it's convenient.
My mentor taught me early we have to know the purpose of relationships. Once those lines are crossed, it will cost you the relationship. Personally, I'm grateful to hear Essence share and understand that some relationships have to be severed when boundaries are crossed.
I want my adult to children to see their mom lived well, so they know what that business looks like. Especially my son… that’s a whole word. Essence. Thank you guys fir your authenticity and platform…
This Woman is a powerful force. I liked her as an actress, now I love her as a person after hearing this episode. Thank you Essence for being transparent in your conversation enough to be effective to reach me where I am today ❤
Ms.Atkins is correct… I abstained after my divorce and the right one came along, we went through dating /engagement without taking the next step. Our faith was more important. And we have been together happily married for over 24 yrs.. we came together correct meaning we knew who we were and what we wanted moving forward with each other.
I love Essence and her wisdom. I hope she gets everything she has worked for and prayed for. She is definitely a blessing in this world. Thank you HI for another great interview.
Please bring Essence back!! This was a masterclass on grace, humility, purpose, focus, spirituality and fundamental qualities for relationships! I love the “peace” that she brought to you as gentlemen. I love that you were inquisitive, open, receptive and able to her standards and expectation with admiration. Recently, God has been revealing to me that it is important that we restore one another to the position of brother and sister in Christ when romantic relationships end. It will help us to focus on trusting God more. We know that God makes no mistakes, so there will always be lessons to learn , both good and challenging that help us to grow. The Bible says all things work together for our good to those that love God and are the called according to his purpose. We are all conduits to the great power of what lies within and ultimately becoming who Gos created us to be. May God continue to strengthen those that are believing for a spouse, while healing and restoring the brokenhearted. ❤❤
I aspire to have the level of emotional intelligence and the faith Essence has. Everytime she speaks…..I am enthralled!!! She is simply amazing!!! Her mind is beautiful. The peace and value she cultivates walking into any podcast is invaluable!!! I pray she receives her hearts desire as God so blesses.
Essence is a woman of purpose. A virtuous woman. Unapologetically a woman who knows her worth!! She dropped so much knowledge, the two men were speechless and just listening. She was so deep that I know they were overwhelmed by her teachings. I love to see a woman who has standards and is living in her truth. I love her transparency and integrity. She is such a joy to listen to. I’m on the same journey as her. ❤. Thank you for having her on the show! 😊
I'm on my journey too. I so love hearing women especially women of my age and ethnicity filled with God's wisdom. I feel as though God is lining his wiser angels up to carry this torch for our younger sisters because the enemy is really trying to destroy them out here in these streets.
A very enriching conversation with Essence! Based on this convo, she embodies a virtuous woman. Much respect for her openness and vulnerability in this interview.
I respect her so much because she’s in the trenches speaking with integrity and sharing the struggle. So many wait until they have the man and success to then speak on these issues.
When she said that everything I want/need doesn't need to come from someone else, that we just need to be disciplined and work hard for what we want, that hit hard 😳. This was so inspiring, I am encouraged to continue to look for identity, worth and purpose in my heavenly father, while not losing hope that the right partner is out there for me 🙏🏼 Women really living this type of life, I'm not alone 🙌🏽
I am also 63 and hearing Essence say as long as you have breath in your body, it's not over really hit home with me. Sometimes, l feel overlooked and undervalued even though l have a lot more living, loving, and giving to do.
Pamela I'm so sorry that know one has never told you this. But everything in life has a time limit For example at one point we all was infants at one point we were toddlers teenagers adults senior citizens everything has a time limit It's a time limit for a woman to have a baby Its a time limit on how long you will have teeth It was a time limit on how long Michael Jordan Kobe Magic Johnson could be great player's So there is also a time limit in the dating market the truth is as a woman you are more valuable when you are young then when you old.
Don’t believe those lies and the lie the commenter above just told you. Earlier in the interview-remember that Essence said this so called time limit is a lie meant to keep us bound. According to the Word of God, mercies are new everyday. If you’ve got breath, you got another day to go forth. ❤
Please hear people out but know they don’t know everything but God does so ultimately let him lead and guide you in every area of your life. I am on that journey too. Learning to love yourself and believing you deserve to have happiness by living your best life with or without a man. Ladies if you do it God’s way, you will never regret it. The drama of having many sex partners and soul ties hurt us emotionally and physically and takes our focus away from God and our purpose God has for us.❤❤❤
Essence needs to write a book! She is giving good advice on relationships and knowing about yourself and recognizing when a man knows about himself in order to give of one’s self.
Essence needs to read a book, in fact The Book, The Bible! Essence gave a good accounting of herself although her words at min 26:29 & 30 seconds following were not reflective of the Prov 31 woman worth more than invaluable precious gems, but rather a woman who is still allowing space to escape her next marriage. *Based on her stated reasons for her divorce, it is highly likely that Essence is NOT FREE to remarry in Messiah with a still living husband.* Divorce via the state does not equal divorce and freedom to remarry in Messiah!... Read: (Mark 10:12) 12 and if a wife divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. (Luke 16:18) It is a terrible sin for a man to divorce his wife and marry another woman. It is also a terrible sin for a man to marry a divorced woman.
@@manofgod3080 We don't know all the reasons this marriage did not work out. First, this may not have been the husband GOD chose for her in the first place, second- it sounds like he may have been violent towards her- third he may have broken the marriage vow by committing adultery himself OR he may have chosen to leave her first and in that case the FATHER said the believer is not responsible and is free from that bondage.
Whewwwwww!!!!!! Every time she opens her mouth, I literally have to get my journal and take notes. This was so powerful! I’m literally on the same journey as she is and this episode really helped me to stay the course. Thank you so much
My goodness, this was by far THE BEST interview I've seen in a longggg time. I'm feeling full as well. I'm feeling motivated, encouraged, and energized. I don't want to be one of those people on my death bed feeling regret because I didn't at least try to go after my dreams. She truly was God sent, and I thank the Lord for allowing me to find this interview. I may just watch a second time because this conversation really moved me. THANK YOU 🫶🏾
Oh my gosh!! This was a whole meal!! ❤ I’m 46 and a Christian single woman who is also abstaining until marriage. One thing I took away is we are meant to pour. There was sooo much that was FIRE in her divine wisdom. So many gems! A blessed woman making an impact. Thank you sister!! Praise the Lord!
This message was low-key what I needed. Ms. Essence spoke to my broken heart. She gave me tough love about my integrity, especially when she talked about how compromising it can cost you a lot. I am Christian lady in a season of healing and doing the work after a great fall caused by me compromising my values. I was crying watching this. All the pain just came back to the surface, and I almost stopped watching, but I kept going, and I am thankful I did. It's been hard listening to messages about relationship do's and don'ts after messing up. I feel like it's going to take me a really long time to totally heal from how I was treated and how I disrespected myself and allowed other people to disrespect me. I have learnt so much from this and look forward to applying it to my personal life. ❤
Very refreshing to see finally a mirror of someone who speaks for me in the sea of city girls. I’m knew I was on the right path this is just yet another reminder to continue on this path. Amazing interview !
My thoughts listening to this is that more women are like Essence than men think, hence why many remain single. So glad she spoke to this aspect. Thank you Essence!
Clearly, Tysean and Ryan, like so many men, always go for the “easy” prey or the “nest on the ground” because they run from what they would call a “challenge” which is nothing more than simple integrity and self-control.
@sonjadf47 so basically, a man should deal with a dysfunctional black woman? Smh, you wouldn't even do that, so knock it off, and also, are women ever accountable? Got damn
Abstaining does open the door of intuition and it does allow you to see intention up front. I'm happy to see someone of her caliber speak to these truths because not a lot of people believe that it's possible to abstain. It all goes back to self-control and your relationship with God. This is my first podcast view from this station. Thank you for the experience.
@@cworld8896some of you really are empty in the head. Not even a bell is ringing. How is abstaining, waiting for someone of the same faith and walk is having too high of a standard. Some of you get so sucked into the relationship fodder that you mindlessly spew foolishness. Go to another channel or video that is of your intellect because clearly you don’t fair well here.
Love this conversation, because we need to hear as women that it is okay to stand for what you believe in. I am 64 and I felt like my hope was getting dimmer and dimmer in being in a relationship with a man who sees me the way God sees me. I get challenge so much for my faith and my stance on abstinence. It is so sad that men want to try to break me down instead of building a relationship. Settling is not an option for me and I love Ms. Atkins for speaking on this topic.
She's a woman that understands the assignment God has over her life and the man he's developing for her!!! She speaks with much wisdom, maturity, transparency, authentincy and compassion....And I can tell she has a relationship with God🙏🏽. Continued Blessings over her Life 🙏🏽. She's beautiful at 51 and her Black definitely hasn't cracked 🙌🏾🙌🏾.... I'm 59 will be 60 in February 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏽🤗!!
Spiritual maturity is beautiful, but over the top expectations is not, I'm cool with the abstinence, as long as it's not your own agenda masked in spirituality just so you can weaponize it against your partner. You can't fool God, so don't try to pull that wool over someone's eyes. Especially with this self righteous cloak of BS.
This lady is getting old.you think God meant for you to have a life partner at a old age. Where you git to feed each other soup with no spoon. Stop believing nonsense snap out of it.
I love Essence - she looks AMAZING! But even more than that, her words are profound! I love what she said about the person she dates needing to bring something more to the table than their status and superficial, surface-level things. She has an eternal mindset and it's truly beautiful to see! Praying she finds someone - she's a catch!
Has anyone else noticed that at least 99% of dating and marriage advice on RUclips is coming from individuals who are currently NOT! married, divorced or never married? 🤔
@@tanishawilliams7495 yes and so there is discernment. Sometimes someone who is divorced can give you advice because they can tell you what they learned from what they went through. And sometimes it’s bum advice. You discern what is correct for YOU to listen to because everyone has something to say.
@@renee7113 I understand that there is discernment. But I think it's important for us to listen to men and women who have successful marriages and are still married. That would be more of a benefit to those getting ready to get married. We give way too much attention to people with failed marriages, and those who have never even been married.
@@tanishawilliams7495I agree. And again there is discernment in those situations. Some of those people that are so ready to give advice don’t actually have successful marriages and are just keeping up appearances.
This session with Essence was phenomenal to see a woman with godly standards ,still standing by it, and I know it can be tough because we’re human, but she set the bar and I appreciate her for that. 💜
I love hearing Essence speak. She is always so well spoken. She's classy, intelligent, wise and self aware. I appreciate her perspective and that it's grounded in God's word. She is not compromising!
This episode was a gift to us women. She had me shouting 🙌🏾🙌🏾👋🏾👋🏾💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽. She dropped so many gems.. This was an honest,powerful and thought provoking conversation.. I will listen to this one several times…
I think this was interesting even from a man's perspective as well. This'll teach so much that's needed out there about ppl needing to be honest with one's self
She is just so well spoken and full of wisdom!!! Finding all the right words to express so many valid points and feelings and enunciate on a level of wisdom spiritually that I so love!
Essence Atkins is a woman of God and on fire!! As a 44 year old woman she just confirmed for me that my walk in abstinence is not in vain and indeed it is not easy. I love that she also confirms a woman walking in her identity with God and with power yet maintaining her femininity. I enjoy listening to her and the values she stands tall on because I am similar is so many ways. Thank you HI Team for constantly bringing in real, raw and much needed conversations to shift the generations.
When she said her age, my mouth dropped! Essence is full of such wisdom, integrity and class- I am so full after listening. I love how she explained the benefits of platonic friendships and using discernment whew.
She touched on all the things that should be blasted on all platforms. This conversation makes me happy because in a society where people are incredibly focused on the things that destroy them, here is a gem shining light on what really matters and holds TRUE weight. Amazing 👏🏽 thank you
Everything she said was food for the soul for men as well as myself too! The wisdom and the softness, but intention she showed through grace and the Most High is immense!
As I am currently going through divorce and I am broken and angry and hurt...while at the same time working on myself by hitting the gym consistently, eating to hit my health goals, reading more, and isolating from people...what i'm taking from this is to continue to do the work to be the best version of myself that god wants me to be. Thank you...
Maybe not in your case... but why do woman wait until the divorce to do all the things you mention. I have two friends who did the same. One even had a good husband who tried to encourage her to lose weight, but she was very hurt by his hinting at the need. Once she divorced him, she then goes and does many of the things, including losing the weight, that her husband wanted her to work on during the marriage. Just wondering why.
Where, and when? All I heard was nothing. She's an ACTOR... a professional ACTOR. Relationships are not partnerships. Men and women are not equal, if we were, no one would be here. When you figure out the point, please respond.
@@The_fashioner777U are a sad man. U are the type of man who will find fault in everything we do. This video isn't for u. We love it and her. Go somewhere else with that jealous spirit. What u are on is not of God.
Awesome interview! I'll be 46 in January, and I am so glad another woman thinks like me. Divorced with a 4 yr old, and almost 3yrs abstinent. It was a challenge at first, but God's love and help is what I hold on to. Real love and true love are still in arm's reach. Self-awareness, and true intension are great keys to building a solid relationship. I appreciate you guys for this. First time watching your show.
What a blessing ! It was amazing to have my nieces over the holiday, and to share with them how grateful I am to be celibate, single and satisfying so this podcast was just a stamp on. It’s really OK to value yourself because I will be a virgin when I get married and I’m not ashamed that I’m past 55..
Wtf.. stop messing up your nieces.. listen this is nonsense.. Men and women are supposed to be together.. you are not supposed to be single and celibate and this actress is 51yts old, her husband, has 1 child.. and now what can she offer another man? Can't give him a child, a good man won't care about her celebrity status and if she will also make him wait for the goodies which ma'am will sign up for that? I'm in my future and I would not choose her when I can just go get a younger woman who has more beauty, age, child bearing years and the goodies to offer and FAR LESS BAGGAGE OF DIVORCE, BABY DADDY A CHILD AND MORE.. this is clueless nonsense I see in these comments.. do women have any clue what men really want and need and think 🤔 not from what I'm seeing. And these 2 guys pandering are laughing all the way to the bank like the black church which mostly has women only not and very questionable men.. zesty men.
I’m so grateful for this episode that I immediately sent an Email to Essence Atkins to thank her. This applies to my life right now. I believe I was supposed to stumble onto this honest , motivational, heartfelt interview. I’m most grateful to Essence for sharing and the hosts for allowing her to do so comfortably. Great interview!
This episode has blessed me. I have the same stance that Essence has concerning Godly relationships and abstinence it was so encouraging to hear this coming from a woman in the movie business and not afraid of being true to her faith!!! I’m inspired and encouraged!!
Yes, truly encouraging to see this in Hollywood, sorry to say , a place where I didn’t think there was much morals. So refreshing to find “anyone” not caught up in the madness! A real blessing🙏🏾
It amazes me how so many people think their life is over after a certain age. It really should be the best time in your life. Kids are grown and hopefully gone. Now you can focus on you. Get fit or stay fit. Plan a good fun life for yourself. Be happy. With the gifts of the days ahead! 😊
"Who you were is not who you are" man l loved listening to Essence and the wisdom that she was speaking because women needed to hear everything that she was speaking. I thank you Essence for sharing your testimony because it really touched me and helped to me continue to walk in my abstinence because the man that God has for me will walk it with me.
This was amazing. I'm on my journey of self discovery putting myself first learning about me at 57 years old. Healing from past traumas so I can truly service and support a purpose partner someday. I say daily to myself God can do anything but fail. Thank you, Hardly Initiated this platform is changing lives.
This was POWERFUL!!! Excellent conversation with many nuggets of wisdom!! Essence has done and is doing the work needed to live the life she desires. Men and women can learn a lot from the lessons she has learned. Extremely RICH word from a woman who loves God and is not ashamed to let her light SHINE! Her words were like fresh water poured into my soul. Blessings!
Yes her words were like fresh water poured into my soul as well and you guys have even grown from her conversation and you are such gentleman 😊 I subscribed to your channel today ♥️ Praise God for her testimony 🙌🏽
Me too. I felt like I was at church, nodding my head, screaming YES!!!! I have forwarded this video to all of my nieces, my friends, and my daughter's friends too.
This was confirmation that the lifestyle that some of us have chosen is not easy and we’re not walking alone. What a beautiful woman of GOD that kept it REAL and relatable. I still have work to do and I appreciate those who share as it helps us along with our journey of transformation. Thank you guys for inviting Essence Atkins on your platform. It has and will be a blessing to many.
Essence said a lot that resonated with me. I left a toxic relationship and after that met my husband while in waiting and not dating. That allowed me to focus on myself to heal and move on into a new relationship with less baggage.
My God. This is a good one. She's captivating spiritually, emotionally, mentally and then physically. The grace she embodies is a word in itself. This is the type of representation that makes people curious about Christ, because if that's what he's done for her, I want him to do that to, and for me too.
This was extremely good. I had no idea she was like this. It's challenging to become that intentional but it's worth it. She hit so many valuable points. It was refreshing to listen to a woman that's like me. She encouraged me to continue to walk this path that God has me on and I'm okay with it. Thanks
This is the upmost best podcast session ever !! I wish she had a podcast, she is a breath of fresh air, I started crying , everything she said was words I couldn’t express myself of how I am feeling right now in life.
Maaaaan...ESSENCE!!! The wisdom, the pearls of wisdom dropped. SIS!! This was wonderful. Thank you for having her gents. Wish I could like this 1000 times!!
I hag signed off from utube months ago, but still would read articles and listen in from time to time but baaaby I ran across this podcast today and not only is she my new SHEROE. This is a moment in time for all women especially black women given our current state of affairs. It was brilliant, insightful, and an all around breath of fresh air. It says we ain’t dead, there are still strong, smart, grounded, intellectual black women out here waiting for that real relationship. Thank u Essence. Thank u HI for this food today. I’m passing it on sharing it with anyone who will listen and thanking God for this cultural reminder of the potential, strength and beauty of our BLACKNESS. I have signed back on and am looking forward to more real content like this. This is hands down one of the best interviews, conversation and respectful content that I have ever witnessed. I am so proud of these guys. Much love, Best wishes and Thank You.
OMG!!!! I absolutely love this, and a lot of what you all said was confirmation for me. I'm on this same journey as well, and it has only been a year, but it has definitely been a Challenge. Having a relationship with God puts everything into place. I love the "I am audacious enough to believe I can have what I want!" statement because it sums it all up... I know I needed to hear this because I NEVER listen to podcast, but I have subscribed. :) This fed my soul.
Sustaining with abstinence and obedience (with ELOHIYM)and raising my 10 yr old daughter after my husband’s untimely death in 2015. ALL things are possible with HIM! HE is definitely doing a New Thing as stated in Isaiah 43:19 and I’m here for it! This confirmation (down to the porn conversation) was a GIFT from THE MOST HIGH! ❤️🙏🏾🙌🏾
Essence is so intelligent, beautiful, full of grace, wisdom, great understanding. She just made me proud. She embodies elegance and I’m proud to call her my sister in Christ! Loved loved loved loved this episode! This is what putting in the work ON YOURSElf looks like! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Essence was outside Christ with her ultimate message [To Wit, marriage, divorce, and remarriage is blessed and The Most High is going to send her a new husband] whether intended or unintended! Essence gave a good accounting of herself although her words at min 26:29 & 30 seconds following were not reflective of the Prov 31 woman worth more than invaluable precious gems, but rather a woman who is still allowing space to escape her next marriage. *Based on her stated reasons for her divorce, it is highly likely that Essence is NOT FREE to remarry in Messiah with a still living husband.* Divorce via the state does not equal divorce and freedom to remarry in Messiah!... Read: (Mark 10:12) 12 and if a wife divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. (Luke 16:18) It is a terrible sin for a man to divorce his wife and marry another woman. It is also a terrible sin for a man to marry a divorced woman.
One of the BEST interviews I have EVER heard and saw. I loved how she was transparent while still maintaining a sense of privacy. I love the outlook she has about her life's journey and this Godly wisdom she exudes!!! Thank you, Hardly Initiated, for giving us the interview that we didn't know we needed!! ❤ Be blessed!!
Loved how Essence talked about the purity and sanctity of sex and marriage. We have gotten away from that. Also how she emphasized the inner work that needs to be done.
I've tuned in to numerous episodes on your relationship podcast, and this one featuring Essence is truly remarkable. Her eloquent expression on the topics of dating is something that will undoubtedly impact many of us, and it couldn't be more necessary.
Her godly wisdom, understanding and knowledge is such a powerful testament of God’s Grace available to all that search and acknowledge Him. As we intentionally live godly lives.
Love this…..it feels surreal to hear these words. These is just what I needed and at the right time. Essence, I’m adding you in my prayers. God will do exactly what he said he would. Don’t get weary in well doing. Continue to exercise wisdom and discretion in decision making. Love you guys!
I've always liked Essense as an actor. I loved this interview. She said many things that I believe, think, and feel. Thank you for having her on your show. 👏👏👏
Today I subscribed to the channel. I’m on board Hardly Initiated. This episode touched my life. The phase that resonated with me the most was when Essence said “You really need to figure out what it is that you think you have to offer and what is it that you think I value”. The echo of these words are still! ringing so loud in me. Much gratitude for sharing and being vulnerable for all to see, to learn & to love.
👉DATING CARDS: hi.hardlyinitiated.com/datingcards
@@HardlyInitiated justdon'tlookorbotherme
I'm just looking you
She is so intellectual and well grounded in her faith. This is by far one of the best interview i’ve seen on relationships in a while. ❤
Agree
"The right person is gonna see me and I don't mine being ignored by every body else ". This resonated with me. Thank you Essence. Truly a very insightful and interesting session.
That one resonated with me as well. This was a powerful listen.
AMEN!!!!
Great statement ❤
Single women stay keeping women single 😂
@@GidiLad yup. the right person gets divorce 80% of the blacks
She’s not asking for much. Maturity, Respect, consistency and to be self accountable. I think Some Men aren’t ready for a grown Woman.
My male cousin stated to me that majority of men say they want a grounded woman but really don't bcuz they don't know how to navigate with a woman of that nature, theyre used to being in full control and manipulating women
I'm reading a few comments above by black men and it's ridiculous. Who would find fault in a black woman saying ,"the right one would find her"? One guy above talking about "single women will keep women single" and she's just saying she will wait on the rite one. Who would have an issue with that? That's to be celebrated but not with those types of men.
Nothing we do is rite with some of them. They hate us and don't want us to be great. If we speak on Godly things, some still find fault. If we speak on being in the streets, they find fault. I'm trying to not listen to them anymore. Those are the men who aren't for us.
What happened is Kevin Samuels appeared and all these POS dudes thought his message was to help a great woman find them. No he was helping them find a REAL MAN. All these dudes think they are real men but don’t even know how to fill a woman’s cup and don’t care to. She can’t pour onto everyone else if her cup isn’t spilling over bc then she won’t have anything for herself. There’s no more empathy and the men who took his place after he passed clouded everyone’s minds with these regurgitated talking points. We need new mature thought leaders who the young men see as cool enough to listen to. They tell you to avoid single moms so dudes with kids think that applies to THEM. “Avoid the ones who want you for your money” The broke dudes all swear this applies to them. It’s all screwed up now bc of Red Pill
Essence is a great role model for younger women! She's so insightful!
Any age woman. I’m 51. She’s speaking to my heart & soul too
I really appreciate how she protected her ex husband and showed him respect. Focused on spiritual aspects and perspectives
This was RICH! I really admire and appreciated Essence’s confidence and convictions. What an amazing woman of God❤️
Thankyou my sister
The peak of being delusional. SMH
Panderverse for real 😂. These old chicks gonna be forever single, talking about abstaining at 40+. Insane 🤪
Yes she knows only in Christ we have direction and stability. Jesus is our anchor.
The devil has a plan to destroy and so many men and women are in his demonic web.
Caught in abortion cults crime drugs evolution lies fornication adultery porn love of $$$ ( idols) gluttony, depression, family break up, suicide occult new age witchcraft Wicca satanism astrology ouija boards tarot cards psychics mediums divination sleep paralysis alien encounters / ufos ( demon manifestations to fool us ) haunted places, astral projection…..
Truly we are in days where evil sinfulness is good …and holy living is bad.
Matthew ch 24 days we are in.
The days we are in 2023 is as evil as when Noah lived.
Sin is rampant and accepted as normal.
True Christians lifestyle is doing God’s will and living in God means thinking talking and behaviour is doing it a certain way. God’s way and not the world’s way.
Ultimately doing it God’s way in surrender to His Lordship is a blessed life here and heaven for eternity.
Hell will be a terrible existence.
A God of woman would not get divorce.
My one takeaway from Essence is when she said that when we start to look at people as human beings instead of as a body; that is when we will treat people with dignity and respect. Love her spirit.
Precisely.💝
💯💯
Oe even better seeing plp as souls
I usually say it like this, “Treat people as if they are brothers and sisters in Christ” which means you can walk away with grace and treat the other person with love in your heart that may not be an “Eros” love
God is Able to keep you if you truly want to be kept, I'm a witness the word keeps me from falling. So Essence all is well keep walking by faith.
I love that Essence said, "The right person is gonna see me and I don't mine being ignored by every body else." This is 100% my mindset as well. I'm going to keep living, growing, and investing in myself and others. Most importantly I'm going to continue to do the work and let GOD correct me along the way. I always pray that the right person will see me and I pray that I'll see him and we will have the courage to pursue each other in the moment.
I love how graceful and beautiful Essence is inside and out. She's full of wisdom and discernment. I really appreciate her dedication to honoring GOD and giving JESUS CHRIST all of the GLORY! She's an amazing woman of GOD.
100 % I felt so identified when she said “ my phone doesn’t ring “ . I’ve been on the same journey as her for 7 years after my breakup. It is freeing to recognize our value and to be okay with being alone while we do the work and wait for the right person .
Amen!
“You can tell me I’m great all you want but you’re not pursuing me and I know why. It’s because I require too much and that’s alright, I’m ok with that … I am audacious enough to believe I can have what I want” 🙌🏽 Gems of wisdom and strength ❤ Thank you Queen!
I felt this is my spirit!
@crosstudio not nice… if you do not have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all🙏
What does a non-black husband have to do with anything.? This is her truth… what’s yours?
@crosstudio😭😭😭
@DLC56 ditto. These black men always trying to tell a black woman she's unworthy. They act like they come to the table with so much to offer above what a woman does. Delusional
I'm a married woman, and I received all of this. She needs to be a reappearing guest because this was such a wholesome episode. That sober mindedness, that requiring discipline thing, whew. It hit me right where it needed to. I enjoyed this very much.
I thoroughly enjoyed this episode, too 😌✨
Essence’s message reminds me of 1 Peter Chapter 4. “Sober mindedness and self control” were both mentioned in that chapter. I read it during my devotion yesterday. The timing of this episode is spot on!
I definitely agree with you
If you're really a (married) woman. Then why are you so preoccupied with who single women are dating ? Don't you think your attention should be focused on your (own) marriage ? Taking care of your (own) family ? Being a good wife to your (own) husband ? Not sitting on RUclips worrying about the lives of single people. ("You Don't Even Know)". 🤷JS.
@@magicworld3242
Essence is a divorced woman, not a single woman who was never married ( a huge difference), and there's no law that says you can't learn as a married woman from other sources; especially someone who was married and came to realize that she didn't really truly know or align w/her former spouse. There are multiple reasons for divorce, but the point of the matter is that even a married woman can learn from those who didn't necessarily get it all the way right.
@@riacollins3237 , Normally I wouldn't bother to answer. But, If you're a divorced woman and you haven't remarried, (YOU'RE SINGLE). If she's as wonderful, as she thinks she is "WHY IS SHE DIVORCED" ? God-Fearing women don't get divorced. They work on their marriage. Narcissistic women get divorced. Which leads me to believe.... Her ex-husband dumped her. So, she's not as remarkable as she thinks she is. A 50+ year old pre-geriatric woman, doesn't hold the same cards, as a 20+ year old woman. The manipulation of men greatly diminishes as she gets older. It doesn't make a difference if (one person) drove the car or if (ten) people drove the car. Essence is still sealing (USED) merchandise. You don't get top dollar for a (USED) product... SMH 🥴
I believe Essence spoke to the hearts of many women.
Two very important points id like to reiterate:
1. Be true to yourself (compromise but don't settle)
2. See each other (men and women) as whole beings, not just body parts or tools to carry out acts of service.
Yes 👏🏽
@@timothyrobinson3938 As I said, she spoke to the hearts of many women. Not sure what you found wacky.
What she said is common knowledge and echoes many of my thoughts and views, as well as those of older married women AND men (including family members) that I know.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Don't you find it suspect that black ppl especially black women are pushing dysfunction and promoting it ? Wakeup, no, she didn't speak for many black women. She spoke for herself. 70% of black women are not even on you tube.
@@timothyrobinson3938 you need healing ❤️🩹 try therapy dude
Not too many celebrities really acknowledge the importance of building a personal relationship with God. Beautiful messages. Thank you 🙌🏽✨️.
Essence,Thanks for the Nuggets ❤😊 ,,but God💪🏾🙏🏾🥰
" I am audacious enough to believe I can have what I want!" YES! MA'AM! This was such a robust, rich conversation. Thank you, Essence!
And Amen same here 🙏 🙌 ❤ 👏 😌 ☺ 🙏
Amen and Amen same here 🙏 🙌 ❤ 👏 😌 ♥ 🙏
Amen!!!!🎉🎉
Yes
💯💯. I was so proud❤
I am so grateful for this episode. I’m in my late 40s and I lost my husband to Cancer over 4 years ago and the thought of another relationship, the narrative for mature women is that we should just settle. Essence, thank you! There’s lots of us out here doing for ourselves while abstaining and still believing our love and obedience to God and His Word is most important. Ryan and Tysean, thank you 🙏🏾.
Sending my condolences to you and well said💕
You need some cats...they'll keep you company...the delusion...
@@vinnieraviolio6854 Your comment is cruel. She is a widow who lost her husband to cancer. She is very protected because The Most High has a special love for widows.
Sometimes embrace silence.
@@tracienatural2405 It’s nothing but a hit dog hollering. What he’s saying is “I’m afraid no women will settle for me in my inadequacies, insecurities, and dark controlling ways. So, I create accounts on social media accounts and team up with other men who are low ball in behavior to make women who know that they don’t need us feel alone. Taunting works because I’m taunted by who I’m not and all I was taught was to just show up as a man because women have traditionally thought that not having a man means they’ve failed. I’m looking for failures to make me feel good about being a failure so I can step on them.” That’s all he’s saying
@@tracienatural2405 it’s a cold world…bundle up…
Omg. This episode has spoke to my spirit & really encouraged me to stay on my journey to heal thru a separation & soon to be divorce. ESSENCE & HARDLYINITIATED. THANK YOU
I've never watched this. Interesting!
I am guilty. I put her in a box all these years. She said so many things that shocked me. I could write a book on this podcast based on my own journey. I live on the African continent, happily married to her twin soul. Otherwise, I would be asking for an introduction. I would be happy to see at least one of you brothers as the next guy we see her with. You heard what she said, step to her and assume your throne. You're both ready. We need to see all that African spirit (sorry, that's what that is) WITHIN the culture. And I am so excited to see her showing up to your show, two brothas, who I thought she wrote off with all that reverence. This just made my day. Thanks so much, brothers.
Your work is so important and so needed. I am in the US briefly, but I will be watching your star rise from afar. I will be using your show to foster healthy conversation with my children as they come of age.
Thank you so much.
WOW!!! Mankind has to have the world scale removed off his or her heart and mind and EYES to TRULY GET IT!
Powerful?🙏🏼
@@ujuzitek301What box you put her in?
THIS is what 'doing the work' looks like! This lady is WISE!
Essence Atkins is not only gorgeous, but she has cultivated self awareness. She understands what she wants, needs and deserves; and that is powerful! I saw her on My Dear Wifey, that conversation was thought provoking and life changing… just like this show❤Every time I hear her speak, something shifts inside of me. She is so full of knowledge.
Never heard of 'My Dear Wifey' - now I'll look for Essence's episode on it. Thx!
@@fooltosign Please pardon me; I stand corrected, it was Dear Future Wifey with Laterras R. Whitfield S:3, E301. The title was : Essence of Love. It was such a power episode!!
Hi queen very smart
@@fooltosignSubscribe! Dear Future Wifey and this podcast are both game changers!
She spoke for so many of us who are unwilling to lower our standards and values to find love. Thank you Essence❤
but most women with all these standards are not the prize they think they are. the men not doing it because that woman is not worth it. but most woman dont care what a man want. only their big check list of standards. you attract what you are. simple. men care about beauty, age, not a headache, a follower, feminine, can she have children?, a lot of woman are headaches. so its not about settling, its about being the best version of yourself to cater to the MANS needs and you will be wifed. worked for me.
If you're lowering your expectation, your values, your identity in Christ to find love, that is not love.
Exactly why you all are single now🫣
THIS. YES AND AMEN 💝
Absolutely. I respect it ❤
I had to come back and say it’s very refreshing to see two Black men be involved in such a conversation and be mature af on a podcast, y’all betta BE THE EXAMPLES
I applaud where their at, but that's a sad statement to have to make
@@MrStudo67Sir, the ppl who get it, get it. We understand what she meant so that's what's important.
I respect Ms. Atkins' stance on abiding by God's Word and doing things God's way.
It's so hard
@@jadew9177 Yes, it is a true challenge. God rewards faithfulness to Him. Keep praying. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Until she got divorced. That’s frowned upon in the Bible.
I'm certain that having a career in Hollyweird makes it very challenging to live a true Christian life. You have to choose whom you will serve and consistently stand on God's Word,not just when it's convenient.
Yes!!!
My mentor taught me early we have to know the purpose of relationships. Once those lines are crossed, it will cost you the relationship. Personally, I'm grateful to hear Essence share and understand that some relationships have to be severed when boundaries are crossed.
well said!
Absolutely! I learned this the hard way. But will move forward with this life lesson
It’s risky and can a drug without a covenant. That’s why my phone doesn’t ring. There must be genuine interest. I’m ok with my boundaries.
I want my adult to children to see their mom lived well, so they know what that business looks like. Especially my son… that’s a whole word. Essence. Thank you guys fir your authenticity and platform…
This flesh suit has flaws we need to apologize. So many lessons.. most importantly, I’m so encouraged.
This Woman is a powerful force. I liked her as an actress, now I love her as a person after hearing this episode. Thank you Essence for being transparent in your conversation enough to be effective to reach me where I am today ❤
Ms.Atkins is correct… I abstained after my divorce and the right one came along, we went through dating /engagement without taking the next step. Our faith was more important. And we have been together happily married for over 24 yrs.. we came together correct meaning we knew who we were and what we wanted moving forward with each other.
@@alisaspringer how did y'all find each other?
I LOVE the way her mind works & she is SO eloquent! Listening to her is so encouraging! I'm SO spiritually full! ❤
"I’m audacious enough to believe I can have what I want." I’m with you Essence! Love her boldness.
delusional enough
I love Essence and her wisdom. I hope she gets everything she has worked for and prayed for. She is definitely a blessing in this world. Thank you HI for another great interview.
This woman has so much insight and wisdom, she broke things down in a great way. I learned a lot. ❤️
Same!
Please bring Essence back!! This was a masterclass on grace, humility, purpose, focus, spirituality and fundamental qualities for relationships!
I love the “peace” that she brought to you as gentlemen. I love that you were inquisitive, open, receptive and able to her standards and expectation with admiration.
Recently, God has been revealing to me that it is important that we restore one another to the position of brother and sister in Christ when romantic relationships end.
It will help us to focus on trusting God more. We know that God makes no mistakes, so there will always be lessons to learn , both good and challenging that help us to grow.
The Bible says all things work together for our good to those that love God and are the called according to his purpose. We are all conduits to the great power of what lies within and ultimately becoming who Gos created us to be.
May God continue to strengthen those that are believing for a spouse, while healing and restoring the brokenhearted. ❤❤
I aspire to have the level of emotional intelligence and the faith Essence has. Everytime she speaks…..I am enthralled!!! She is simply amazing!!! Her mind is beautiful. The peace and value she cultivates walking into any podcast is invaluable!!! I pray she receives her hearts desire as God so blesses.
Amen
I totally agree 💯
It can be Cultivated. I believe she spends time in the Word of God, the Bible. The Holy Spirit will make one wise.
I agree she's on to something amazing!
@@nikkyshamz2696Amen, God's wisdom.
Essence is a woman of purpose. A virtuous woman. Unapologetically a woman who knows her worth!! She dropped so much knowledge, the two men were speechless and just listening. She was so deep that I know they were overwhelmed by her teachings. I love to see a woman who has standards and is living in her truth. I love her transparency and integrity. She is such a joy to listen to. I’m on the same journey as her. ❤. Thank you for having her on the show! 😊
The problem is the result. people in social media sale fantasy to weak minds women don't have busted child
I'm on my journey too. I so love hearing women especially women of my age and ethnicity filled with God's wisdom. I feel as though God is lining his wiser angels up to carry this torch for our younger sisters because the enemy is really trying to destroy them out here in these streets.
Totally agree with you as well!🎯💯
Literally astonished and elated at the essence of Essence in raw form! Truly a Gem! Bless Jesus!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🎯💯🥇
Great show!!!!
A very enriching conversation with Essence! Based on this convo, she embodies a virtuous woman. Much respect for her openness and vulnerability in this interview.
Amen!
So true 🙏🏽
💯💯
I respect her so much because she’s in the trenches speaking with integrity and sharing the struggle. So many wait until they have the man and success to then speak on these issues.
When she said that everything I want/need doesn't need to come from someone else, that we just need to be disciplined and work hard for what we want, that hit hard 😳. This was so inspiring, I am encouraged to continue to look for identity, worth and purpose in my heavenly father, while not losing hope that the right partner is out there for me 🙏🏼 Women really living this type of life, I'm not alone 🙌🏽
God bless you in your journey to discovery ! ❤️🙏🏾
@@muniondalenewyurk6777 thank you!
I am also 63 and hearing Essence say as long as you have breath in your body, it's not over really hit home with me. Sometimes, l feel overlooked and undervalued even though l have a lot more living, loving, and giving to do.
Pamela I'm so sorry that know one has never told you this.
But everything in life has a time limit
For example at one point we all was infants at one point we were toddlers teenagers adults senior citizens everything has a time limit
It's a time limit for a woman to have a baby
Its a time limit on how long you will have teeth
It was a time limit on how long Michael Jordan Kobe Magic Johnson could be great player's
So there is also a time limit in the dating market the truth is as a woman you are more valuable when you are young then when you old.
@stretchjohnson752 whether I'm in the dating market or not, l will never consider myself less valuable.
Don’t believe those lies and the lie the commenter above just told you. Earlier in the interview-remember that Essence said this so called time limit is a lie meant to keep us bound. According to the Word of God, mercies are new everyday. If you’ve got breath, you got another day to go forth. ❤
Age is just a number. Your as YOUNG as you feel. Get on Bumble 😊
Please hear people out but know they don’t know everything but God does so ultimately let him lead and guide you in every area of your life. I am on that journey too. Learning to love yourself and believing you deserve to have happiness by living your best life with or without a man. Ladies if you do it God’s way, you will never regret it. The drama of having many sex partners and soul ties hurt us emotionally and physically and takes our focus away from God and our purpose God has for us.❤❤❤
Essence needs to write a book! She is giving good advice on relationships and knowing about yourself and recognizing when a man knows about himself in order to give of one’s self.
Essence needs to read a book, in fact The Book, The Bible! Essence gave a good accounting of herself although her words at min 26:29 & 30 seconds following were not reflective of the Prov 31 woman worth more than invaluable precious gems, but rather a woman who is still allowing space to escape her next marriage. *Based on her stated reasons for her divorce, it is highly likely that Essence is NOT FREE to remarry in Messiah with a still living husband.* Divorce via the state does not equal divorce and freedom to remarry in Messiah!...
Read:
(Mark 10:12)
12 and if a wife divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.
(Luke 16:18)
It is a terrible sin for a man to divorce his wife and marry another woman. It is also a terrible sin for a man to marry a divorced woman.
Yessss
@@manofgod3080you don't know why she divorce.
@@manofgod3080 We don't know all the reasons this marriage did not work out. First, this may not have been the husband GOD chose for her in the first place, second- it sounds like he may have been violent towards her- third he may have broken the marriage vow by committing adultery himself OR he may have chosen to leave her first and in that case the FATHER said the believer is not responsible and is free from that bondage.
@@MzLinda2024 ,Very good point, write that book, I'm with you there, I'd buy it.
Whewwwwww!!!!!!
Every time she opens her mouth, I literally have to get my journal and take notes.
This was so powerful!
I’m literally on the same journey as she is and this episode really helped me to stay the course.
Thank you so much
I can listen to this woman speak all day long. Essence never disappoints. More grace to you mama!
My goodness, this was by far THE BEST interview I've seen in a longggg time. I'm feeling full as well. I'm feeling motivated, encouraged, and energized. I don't want to be one of those people on my death bed feeling regret because I didn't at least try to go after my dreams. She truly was God sent, and I thank the Lord for allowing me to find this interview.
I may just watch a second time because this conversation really moved me. THANK YOU 🫶🏾
Yes
Love essence on half half also Rachel Truth amazing actress. Much 💞 always.
Oh my gosh!! This was a whole meal!! ❤ I’m 46 and a Christian single woman who is also abstaining until marriage. One thing I took away is we are meant to pour. There was sooo much that was FIRE in her divine wisdom. So many gems! A blessed woman making an impact. Thank you sister!! Praise the Lord!
Hi Essence ,God Bless ,you’re one of my favorites ❤👋🏾👍🏾🙏🏾👏🏾😊
Are you in Ohio
Yes
@@TruthBetold-rj9vj Yes Your From Ohio
This message was low-key what I needed. Ms. Essence spoke to my broken heart. She gave me tough love about my integrity, especially when she talked about how compromising it can cost you a lot. I am Christian lady in a season of healing and doing the work after a great fall caused by me compromising my values. I was crying watching this. All the pain just came back to the surface, and I almost stopped watching, but I kept going, and I am thankful I did. It's been hard listening to messages about relationship do's and don'ts after messing up. I feel like it's going to take me a really long time to totally heal from how I was treated and how I disrespected myself and allowed other people to disrespect me. I have learnt so much from this and look forward to applying it to my personal life. ❤
Very refreshing to see finally a mirror of someone who speaks for me in the sea of city girls. I’m knew I was on the right path this is just yet another reminder to continue on this path. Amazing interview !
Facts. I needed to hear this message, too.
Same ❤…. Almost five years and some folks treat me like something is wrong with me because I am not dating/having s&x!
Yes
I'm on that path too!
My thoughts listening to this is that more women are like Essence than men think, hence why many remain single. So glad she spoke to this aspect. Thank you Essence!
The type of man they want is not going to be faithful. Black women will never learn!!!!
You are correct. Some men try to twist a woman who is single into her somehow lacking; often she is not the one who lacks.
Clearly, Tysean and Ryan, like so many men, always go for the “easy” prey or the “nest on the ground” because they run from what they would call a “challenge” which is nothing more than simple integrity and self-control.
There are far more women single than men. And the reason is that women have chosen not to listen to men.
@sonjadf47 so basically, a man should deal with a dysfunctional black woman? Smh, you wouldn't even do that, so knock it off, and also, are women ever accountable? Got damn
Abstaining does open the door of intuition and it does allow you to see intention up front. I'm happy to see someone of her caliber speak to these truths because not a lot of people believe that it's possible to abstain. It all goes back to self-control and your relationship with God. This is my first podcast view from this station. Thank you for the experience.
she should find a man in church of something cuz a non virgin single mom guarding used almost expired goods in crazy
Yes
Her standards are too high,& she’s selfish
Abstaining from flesh allows us to walk in holy spirit .
@@cworld8896some of you really are empty in the head. Not even a bell is ringing. How is abstaining, waiting for someone of the same faith and walk is having too high of a standard. Some of you get so sucked into the relationship fodder that you mindlessly spew foolishness. Go to another channel or video that is of your intellect because clearly you don’t fair well here.
Love this conversation, because we need to hear as women that it is okay to stand for what you believe in. I am 64 and I felt like my hope was getting dimmer and dimmer in being in a relationship with a man who sees me the way God sees me. I get challenge so much for my faith and my stance on abstinence. It is so sad that men want to try to break me down instead of building a relationship. Settling is not an option for me and I love Ms. Atkins for speaking on this topic.
AMEN N AMEN.., YOU HAVE 🛑✝️🙏🏾
She's a woman that understands the assignment God has over her life and the man he's developing for her!!! She speaks with much wisdom, maturity, transparency, authentincy and compassion....And I can tell she has a relationship with God🙏🏽. Continued Blessings over her Life 🙏🏽. She's beautiful at 51 and her Black definitely hasn't cracked 🙌🏾🙌🏾.... I'm 59 will be 60 in February 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏽🤗!!
Spiritual maturity is beautiful, but over the top expectations is not, I'm cool with the abstinence, as long as it's not your own agenda masked in spirituality just so you can weaponize it against your partner. You can't fool God, so don't try to pull that wool over someone's eyes. Especially with this self righteous cloak of BS.
Yessss God bless her ❤❤
This lady is getting old.you think God meant for you to have a life partner at a old age. Where you git to feed each other soup with no spoon. Stop believing nonsense snap out of it.
YAAASSS!!!! Women in our age group are definitely standing in our stance with Christ, I love it!!!!
She spoke very eloquently and straight forward. It's refreshing to see the maturity and growth she's made over the years.
I love Essence - she looks AMAZING! But even more than that, her words are profound! I love what she said about the person she dates needing to bring something more to the table than their status and superficial, surface-level things. She has an eternal mindset and it's truly beautiful to see! Praying she finds someone - she's a catch!
Has anyone else noticed that at least 99% of dating and marriage advice on RUclips is coming from individuals who are currently NOT! married, divorced or never married? 🤔
@@tanishawilliams7495 lol Tony Gaskins talks about this in his last Hardly Initiated episode
@@tanishawilliams7495 yes and so there is discernment. Sometimes someone who is divorced can give you advice because they can tell you what they learned from what they went through. And sometimes it’s bum advice. You discern what is correct for YOU to listen to because everyone has something to say.
@@renee7113
I understand that there is discernment.
But I think it's important for us to listen to men and women who have successful marriages and are still married. That would be more of a benefit to those getting ready to get married. We give way too much attention to people with failed marriages, and those who have never even been married.
@@tanishawilliams7495I agree. And again there is discernment in those situations. Some of those people that are so ready to give advice don’t actually have successful marriages and are just keeping up appearances.
This session with Essence was phenomenal to see a woman with godly standards ,still standing by it, and I know it can be tough because we’re human, but she set the bar and I appreciate her for that. 💜
I love hearing Essence speak. She is always so well spoken. She's classy, intelligent, wise and self aware. I appreciate her perspective and that it's grounded in God's word. She is not compromising!
This episode was a gift to us women. She had me shouting 🙌🏾🙌🏾👋🏾👋🏾💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽. She dropped so many gems.. This was an honest,powerful and thought provoking conversation.. I will listen to this one several times…
I think this was interesting even from a man's perspective as well. This'll teach so much that's needed out there about ppl needing to be honest with one's self
Holy Dance. Yezzzzzz
She is just so well spoken and full of wisdom!!! Finding all the right words to express so many valid points and feelings and enunciate on a level of wisdom spiritually that I so love!
Yes
So well spoken, and I admire it. I learned three words myself listening to this episode.
🙌🙌🙌
Yesssssss," If you're alive there is hope!" Yes, I agree.
😊🙌
Essence Atkins is a woman of God and on fire!!
As a 44 year old woman she just confirmed for me that my walk in abstinence is not in vain and indeed it is not easy. I love that she also confirms a woman walking in her identity with God and with power yet maintaining her femininity. I enjoy listening to her and the values she stands tall on because I am similar is so many ways. Thank you HI Team for constantly bringing in real, raw and much needed conversations to shift the generations.
Amen, I prayed to God for help in this new mindset, and HI is delivering 🙏🏽
Obedience to the Lord is never in vain . Sometimes challenging , but God is always giving us the desire and ability to do what pleases Him
@@amustardseedmovement are you a virgin?
Abstinence has been quite easy for me. I’ve been tested but I notice I am not preoccupied with the thought. Three years and counting.
@ Congratulations 🎉
Essence is a force. I've been blessed listening to her before on another podcast. I look forward to this.
We do still exist out here. She is representing the real ones , REAL. Good.
When she said her age, my mouth dropped! Essence is full of such wisdom, integrity and class- I am so full after listening. I love how she explained the benefits of platonic friendships and using discernment whew.
Yeah she looks good for 51.
She is beautiful and God fearing ❤
I am happy that she is honest because sometimes when you grew up with these celebs . It's like " uh no we are the same age " 🤣
It is always a pleasure to be in the building with believers. Discernment comes so easy when you understand GOD's Grace.
Now that’s a woman who knows her purpose and her identity!!! One of the best interviews ever. Thank you essence for your Wisdom🙏🏾
She touched on all the things that should be blasted on all platforms. This conversation makes me happy because in a society where people are incredibly focused on the things that destroy them, here is a gem shining light on what really matters and holds TRUE weight. Amazing 👏🏽 thank you
Everything she said was food for the soul for men as well as myself too! The wisdom and the softness, but intention she showed through grace and the Most High is immense!
As I am currently going through divorce and I am broken and angry and hurt...while at the same time working on myself by hitting the gym consistently, eating to hit my health goals, reading more, and isolating from people...what i'm taking from this is to continue to do the work to be the best version of myself that god wants me to be. Thank you...
The Lord will see you through, and you will look back and say "My God!". I'm a living witness, I've been through it!!!
Praying that you will heal wholeheartedly! ❤
Wow...wow...and wow...look at God! Seeing this and understanding the journey and where i am now...nothing BUT God! Thank you all...
Maybe not in your case... but why do woman wait until the divorce to do all the things you mention. I have two friends who did the same. One even had a good husband who tried to encourage her to lose weight, but she was very hurt by his hinting at the need. Once she divorced him, she then goes and does many of the things, including losing the weight, that her husband wanted her to work on during the marriage. Just wondering why.
This conversation just helped me grow in so many ways. Thank you Essence for your beauty, class, grace, and wisdom 💯🙏🏽❤️👑
Strength and self respect is what I'm taking away from this conversation.
Where, and when? All I heard was nothing. She's an ACTOR... a professional ACTOR.
Relationships are not partnerships. Men and women are not equal, if we were, no one would be here.
When you figure out the point, please respond.
@@The_fashioner777U are a sad man. U are the type of man who will find fault in everything we do. This video isn't for u. We love it and her. Go somewhere else with that jealous spirit. What u are on is not of God.
Awesome interview! I'll be 46 in January, and I am so glad another woman thinks like me. Divorced with a 4 yr old, and almost 3yrs abstinent. It was a challenge at first, but God's love and help is what I hold on to. Real love and true love are still in arm's reach. Self-awareness, and true intension are great keys to building a solid relationship. I appreciate you guys for this. First time watching your show.
I love Essence! I can hear her talk any time. She's so full of wisdom, grace, and femininity.
I wish I could hear you deliver this to a broader audience. You have allowed God to rebuild you HIS way. Praise God!
What a blessing ! It was amazing to have my nieces over the holiday, and to share with them how grateful I am to be celibate, single and satisfying so this podcast was just a stamp on. It’s really OK to value yourself because I will be a virgin when I get married and I’m not ashamed that I’m past 55..
That’s wonderful! God bless you and crown your discipline with the best of the best 💜
😮
That's wonderful. I was 47 years old and a virgin and got married to my husband. God is faithful! It's okay to wait!
Wtf.. stop messing up your nieces.. listen this is nonsense.. Men and women are supposed to be together.. you are not supposed to be single and celibate and this actress is 51yts old, her husband, has 1 child.. and now what can she offer another man? Can't give him a child, a good man won't care about her celebrity status and if she will also make him wait for the goodies which ma'am will sign up for that? I'm in my future and I would not choose her when I can just go get a younger woman who has more beauty, age, child bearing years and the goodies to offer and FAR LESS BAGGAGE OF DIVORCE, BABY DADDY A CHILD AND MORE.. this is clueless nonsense I see in these comments.. do women have any clue what men really want and need and think 🤔 not from what I'm seeing. And these 2 guys pandering are laughing all the way to the bank like the black church which mostly has women only not and very questionable men.. zesty men.
I’m so grateful for this episode that I immediately sent an Email to Essence Atkins to thank her. This applies to my life right now. I believe I was supposed to stumble onto this honest , motivational, heartfelt interview. I’m most grateful to Essence for sharing and the hosts for allowing her to do so comfortably. Great interview!
Had to watch this twice and the lessons were even better the second time!! Essence is such a gem, God bless her! Love love love this episode 🩷
Yes
Same here. It needed a repeat watch/listen.
Ms. Atkins, when is your MASTER CLASS FOR YOUNG AND OLD!
This episode has blessed me. I have the same stance that Essence has concerning Godly relationships and abstinence it was so encouraging to hear this coming from a woman in the movie business and not afraid of being true to her faith!!! I’m inspired and encouraged!!
Yes, truly encouraging to see this in Hollywood, sorry to say , a place where I didn’t think there was much morals. So refreshing to find “anyone” not caught up in the madness! A real blessing🙏🏾
Yes
What a blessing!! She gets so real and practical.
As a man, I’m encouraged to be better and reach that type of standard to give glory to God. 🙌🏽🙌🏽
It amazes me how so many people think their life is over after a certain age. It really should be the best time in your life. Kids are grown and hopefully gone. Now you can focus on you. Get fit or stay fit. Plan a good fun life for yourself. Be happy. With the gifts of the days ahead! 😊
Essence is such a beautiful example for Christian single moms. She has such strong convictions and is very admirable. What a great role model!
"Who you were is not who you are" man l loved listening to Essence and the wisdom that she was speaking because women needed to hear everything that she was speaking. I thank you Essence for sharing your testimony because it really touched me and helped to me continue to walk in my abstinence because the man that God has for me will walk it with me.
Yes
This was amazing. I'm on my journey of self discovery putting myself first learning about me at 57 years old. Healing from past traumas so I can truly service and support a purpose partner someday. I say daily to myself God can do anything but fail. Thank you, Hardly Initiated this platform is changing lives.
This was POWERFUL!!! Excellent conversation with many nuggets of wisdom!! Essence has done and is doing the work needed to live the life she desires. Men and women can learn a lot from the lessons she has learned. Extremely RICH word from a woman who loves God and is not ashamed to let her light SHINE! Her words were like fresh water poured into my soul. Blessings!
Yes her words were like fresh water poured into my soul as well and you guys have even grown from her conversation and you are such gentleman 😊 I subscribed to your channel today ♥️ Praise God for her testimony 🙌🏽
💯💯
I love the way Essence uses analogies to make it plain but yet rich. This conversation has spiritual antennas up. God bless y'all
This woman has blessed me immensely with this conversation 🙌🏾
Me too!
Yes!!
Me too. I felt like I was at church, nodding my head, screaming YES!!!! I have forwarded this video to all of my nieces, my friends, and my daughter's friends too.
This was confirmation that the lifestyle that some of us have chosen is not easy and we’re not walking alone. What a beautiful woman of GOD that kept it REAL and relatable. I still have work to do and I appreciate those who share as it helps us along with our journey of transformation. Thank you guys for inviting Essence Atkins on your platform. It has and will be a blessing to many.
Very good interview. This was very interesting and informative.
Exactly. I'm walking this same lifestyle. I'm waiting for THE HODLY MAN that God has for me and I will remain abstinent.
Essence said a lot that resonated with me. I left a toxic relationship and after that met my husband while in waiting and not dating. That allowed me to focus on myself to heal and move on into a new relationship with less baggage.
Essence killed it! Everything she said and her energy was on point.
My God. This is a good one. She's captivating spiritually, emotionally, mentally and then physically. The grace she embodies is a word in itself. This is the type of representation that makes people curious about Christ, because if that's what he's done for her, I want him to do that to, and for me too.
This was extremely good. I had no idea she was like this. It's challenging to become that intentional but it's worth it. She hit so many valuable points. It was refreshing to listen to a woman that's like me. She encouraged me to continue to walk this path that God has me on and I'm okay with it. Thanks
This is the upmost best podcast session ever !! I wish she had a podcast, she is a breath of fresh air, I started crying , everything she said was words I couldn’t express myself of how I am feeling right now in life.
I agree. Her words are life changing it is a voice needed 😢
Maaaaan...ESSENCE!!! The wisdom, the pearls of wisdom dropped. SIS!! This was wonderful. Thank you for having her gents. Wish I could like this 1000 times!!
I hag signed off from utube months ago, but still would read articles and listen in from time to time but baaaby I ran across this podcast today and not only is she my new SHEROE. This is a moment in time for all women especially black women given our current state of affairs. It was brilliant, insightful, and an all around breath of fresh air. It says we ain’t dead, there are still strong, smart, grounded, intellectual black women out here waiting for that real relationship. Thank u Essence. Thank u HI for this food today. I’m passing it on sharing it with anyone who will listen and thanking God for this cultural reminder of the potential, strength and beauty of our BLACKNESS. I have signed back on and am looking forward to more real content like this. This is hands down one of the best interviews, conversation and respectful content that I have ever witnessed. I am so proud of these guys. Much love, Best wishes and Thank You.
This was one of the best interviews I’ve ever seen and if the world keeps getting more like this I believe relationships will start to transform. ❤️🙏🏽
OMG!!!! I absolutely love this, and a lot of what you all said was confirmation for me. I'm on this same journey as well, and it has only been a year, but it has definitely been a Challenge. Having a relationship with God puts everything into place. I love the "I am audacious enough to believe I can have what I want!" statement because it sums it all up... I know I needed to hear this because I NEVER listen to podcast, but I have subscribed. :) This fed my soul.
I truly appreciated this conversation so much. Thank you all!
Sustaining with abstinence and obedience (with ELOHIYM)and raising my 10 yr old daughter after my husband’s untimely death in 2015.
ALL things are possible with HIM!
HE is definitely doing a New Thing as stated in Isaiah 43:19 and I’m here for it! This confirmation (down to the porn conversation) was a GIFT from THE MOST HIGH! ❤️🙏🏾🙌🏾
Essence is so intelligent, beautiful, full of grace, wisdom, great understanding. She just made me proud. She embodies elegance and I’m proud to call her my sister in Christ! Loved loved loved loved this episode! This is what putting in the work ON YOURSElf looks like! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Essence was outside Christ with her ultimate message [To Wit, marriage, divorce, and remarriage is blessed and The Most High is going to send her a new husband] whether intended or unintended! Essence gave a good accounting of herself although her words at min 26:29 & 30 seconds following were not reflective of the Prov 31 woman worth more than invaluable precious gems, but rather a woman who is still allowing space to escape her next marriage. *Based on her stated reasons for her divorce, it is highly likely that Essence is NOT FREE to remarry in Messiah with a still living husband.* Divorce via the state does not equal divorce and freedom to remarry in Messiah!...
Read:
(Mark 10:12)
12 and if a wife divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.
(Luke 16:18)
It is a terrible sin for a man to divorce his wife and marry another woman. It is also a terrible sin for a man to marry a divorced woman.
Amen!
The WEALTH of knowledge that she provided…she has no idea!!! Thank you Essence!! Thank you guys for having her.
This is a lifetime of big sister advice, truly golden...am so glad I have thus opportunity to be advise. Blessings
One of the BEST interviews I have EVER heard and saw. I loved how she was transparent while still maintaining a sense of privacy. I love the outlook she has about her life's journey and this Godly wisdom she exudes!!! Thank you, Hardly Initiated, for giving us the interview that we didn't know we needed!! ❤ Be blessed!!
Loved how Essence talked about the purity and sanctity of sex and marriage. We have gotten away from that. Also how she emphasized the inner work that needs to be done.
I've tuned in to numerous episodes on your relationship podcast, and this one featuring Essence is truly remarkable. Her eloquent expression on the topics of dating is something that will undoubtedly impact many of us, and it couldn't be more necessary.
Her godly wisdom, understanding and knowledge is such a powerful testament of God’s Grace available to all that search and acknowledge Him. As we intentionally live godly lives.
Love this…..it feels surreal to hear these words. These is just what I needed and at the right time. Essence, I’m adding you in my prayers. God will do exactly what he said he would. Don’t get weary in well doing. Continue to exercise wisdom and discretion in decision making. Love you guys!
I've always liked Essense as an actor. I loved this interview. She said many things that I believe, think, and feel. Thank you for having her on your show. 👏👏👏
Today I subscribed to the channel. I’m on board Hardly Initiated. This episode touched my life. The phase that resonated with me the most was when Essence said “You really need to figure out what it is that you think you have to offer and what is it that you think I value”. The echo of these words are still! ringing so loud in me. Much gratitude for sharing and being vulnerable for all to see, to learn & to love.
Me 2