Getting a Diagnosis as a Woman on the Autism Spectrum, with Becca Lory | EDB 58

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  • Опубликовано: 30 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 87

  • @annieso6757
    @annieso6757 Год назад +1

    Thank you. I am an 82 year old female. I diagnosed myself two yrs ago. What a boon! I am finally free!

  • @Renilou2
    @Renilou2 5 лет назад +32

    Imagine turning 65 and discover that this totally explains the way my brain works. Why I was always so misunderstood and different. The odd ball! A teacher in grade school tried to convince my mom I was retarded. But in high school I was found to have a high IQ and was always reprimanded for not working to my potential in math. So I was getting low grades in it. But I tried so hard that I would go into tears of frustration and give up. Every little sound in the room would drive me up the wall. I rarely got a joke. I'm flat out too blunt. But in a good book, or just daydreaming I would disappear into another world and not hear or have awareness of anything. I would do this all the time every day. I would be in my other world. I would slip off and not even be aware that I did until I come back to my surroundings. I excelled in any thing I loved and would get obsessed with it. I love science and quantum physics. But at the same time have a very strong 6th sense that got me through life. I'm 65 and do not need a diagnosis for validation. It's too late for that in my life. As much as I hate labels, being put into a box or category, it helps to know I'm not so stupid after all.

    • @elizabethbennet4791
      @elizabethbennet4791 4 года назад +1

      yeah , why is it YOUR ffault that they are teaching it wrong??????

    • @LornaLancasterArtist
      @LornaLancasterArtist 4 года назад +16

      I was diagnosed this year age 61! Rubbish at maths, good at English, brilliant at Music and Art! I'm grieving for the life I could have had if I'd known instead of years of failing in jobs, and misdiagnosed with OCD and Anxiety. Maybe I would have been treated better.

    • @cornishmaid9138
      @cornishmaid9138 3 года назад +9

      I’m 67 and only very recently have I explored if I’m on the spectrum. Oh my goodness, EVERYTHING I’ve read and watched is as if they’re talking about my entire life. I real so relieved. I need to get an official diagnosis because, if it’s correct that it’s hereditary, my children and grandchildren need to know so that it can make sense of, not only growing up with a ‘miss-fit’ for a mother, but also because I recognise traits in all of them too.

    • @deborahseaman8470
      @deborahseaman8470 2 года назад +2

      I'm 65 as well and just found out.

    • @annes7926
      @annes7926 2 года назад

      @@deborahseaman8470 me, too.

  • @denisephil7967
    @denisephil7967 3 года назад +5

    I found by mistake 2 years ago...stumbled across some article about being in the spectrum and that was the moment I finally could understand what was "wrong" with me, since then read a lot, I have no money for therapy or counseling...so reading about had help me a lot, but is difficult, specially at work...I had quit soooooo many jobs and I move from apartments 60 times in 20 years and 3 countries...but now working on myself and going 1 step at the time.

  • @alternativetentacles1760
    @alternativetentacles1760 3 года назад +6

    My reading level has always been advanced since my father purchased a Hooked on Phonics curriculum that I could make my special interest for a while. It had tapes I could rewind and replay at my own pace. I think my confidence in my own language skills kept me in a bubble throughout my education. I’m logical and had enough traumatic childhood experiences to explain my issues with anxiety and other ASD criteria to make me think I was still “normal.” It wasn’t until I crashed after doing everything I was supposed to do (get an education, get married, have kids) and realizing I was finding it difficult to keep up for the third time in my life. About every 10 years I seem to crash HARD. I had stacked my plates too high and needed to finally go down the rabbit hole of self diagnosis to save my life. I was very happy to find something that finally explained my quiet lifelong struggle. Most importantly it was a breakthrough to even admit I was struggling. I was raised in a “life is hard so you have to be tougher” household. A trip to the ER when I was 15 for a suicide attempt was treated as a minor lapse in proper behavior. So I guess I did take on some sociopathic coping skills to “recover” and keep on living even though I felt overwhelmed. I feel optimistic now that I have access to the right resources to help myself.

  • @katiemarie6318
    @katiemarie6318 7 лет назад +20

    After a long time fighting for it. I was finally diagnosed 3 years ago by a psychologist, at the age of 30

  • @natalierizzo1
    @natalierizzo1 6 лет назад +11

    32 years old - still working on it. After being misdiagnosed with every mental disorder under the sun since I was 15 yrs old. It’s so tough because it feels like not only do you have to figure out what’s wrong with us on our own then we have to persevere through the long road of asserting it to unbelievers. It feels like your always constantly defending yourself, which is not easy for someone with ASD!! It feels like everyone thinks your making excuses - so instead of identifying and facing the benefits & challenges of aspergers - it always feels much easier to hide it and mimic the world. Problem is the hiding and mimicking is unsustainable and unfulfilling. And then we end up in our beds in 3 years. I totally relate to everything in your story !!

    • @elizabethbennet4791
      @elizabethbennet4791 4 года назад +2

      US MEDICAL SYSTEM IS FAILING!!!! Resources are too strained!!!

  • @SargenSmee
    @SargenSmee 6 лет назад +13

    Becca mentioned a few things that rang a bell. The job with the crash and burn cycle. Not as quick as Becca's but I see the signs. Another was the bar tender job reasons. I too can enjoy serving customers knowing that I don't have to go into a deep conversation with them. I listen to their request, serve them and say goodbye. I need to find out if I am on this spectrum. I'm 52 and something is not right with me.

  • @christinacarophd1544
    @christinacarophd1544 2 года назад +1

    What a wonderful interview. I did not understand I was Aspi until I was 45 and that is after interning with 6 clinical supervisors in my clinical psychology PhD program. This is a great podcast. I love teaching my clients about neuro-diversity.

  • @JDMimeTHEFIRST
    @JDMimeTHEFIRST 3 года назад +10

    This sounds very familiar. I was diagnosed at 35 after a lifetime of suicidal ideation, waiting for people to suddenly understand me (they never did), and not being perceived correctly by anyone. I wish there were more of us to be friends with. I’ve given up on making friends with neurotypical women (I end up getting bullied and excluded in some kind of Stepford wife / mean girls thing they do).

    • @lillypicadilly4048
      @lillypicadilly4048 2 года назад +2

      This was my 'sudden' realization...that nobody understood me and reacted to me like I had 3 heads when I express myself. It's hurtful and I feel like I'm not from this planet.

  • @LisaCaseyComedy
    @LisaCaseyComedy Год назад

    She’s so intelligent and articulate, it’s horrible that autistic people don’t fit in. They’re amazing, I’m starting my journey to find out if I have it tomorrow with a psychologist

  • @Hadassah-KaquoliMReno
    @Hadassah-KaquoliMReno Год назад +2

    I’ve been miss diagnosed for years, I’m 69 now and I know I have Asperger syndrome.

    • @Hadassah-KaquoliMReno
      @Hadassah-KaquoliMReno Год назад +1

      I’ve gotten so I don’t like people!

    • @Hadassah-KaquoliMReno
      @Hadassah-KaquoliMReno Год назад +1

      When I was little my mama would give me a birthday party and I crawled under the table and cried, she😅 stopped giving me birthday patty’s. I’ve always been quiet and have loved reading! I’ve always loved being outside and even become a carpenters apprentice, I still live working with wood alone!!!

  • @Kimi_Adventures
    @Kimi_Adventures 6 лет назад +34

    I am 43 I know I have it I have yet to seek diagnosis

    • @SarahDale111
      @SarahDale111 5 лет назад +1

      Same!

    • @emncosmos
      @emncosmos 5 лет назад +2

      I am just seeing this video, I am 20 years old and I this just feels like me and who I am as a person, but everytime I try to advocate for myself, I get shut down and I just feel so helpless..

    • @lunalovegood5284
      @lunalovegood5284 5 лет назад +1

      @@emncosmos Same here. I'm 19 and I started researching Aspergers about a year ago, but I don't have the courage to seek a diagnosis right now.

    • @elizabethbennet4791
      @elizabethbennet4791 4 года назад +2

      OMG IM 44 and I know I have it...havent yet sought diagnosis!!! got the adhd and gad label tho!!!

  • @SweetTeaElle
    @SweetTeaElle 6 лет назад +11

    Your story sounds similar to mine. I am 48. I misdiagnosed myself six months ago, with Borderline Personality Disorder, then Avoidant Personality Disorder. My 21 year old son was diagnosed PDD-nod as a child. I can see now that my dad was ASD traits.

    • @elizabethbennet4791
      @elizabethbennet4791 4 года назад

      i thought they don't tell you if you have PDs?

    • @SavageThrifter
      @SavageThrifter 3 года назад

      So the avoidance got really bad with you too? I haven't heard many women on the spectrum talk about avoidance but it is probably my top issue, so I'd love to know more about your general experience with avoidance, if you feel comfortable

  • @olderandwiser333
    @olderandwiser333 2 года назад +1

    Wow! I can SO relate to that desperately negative self-talk. It's absolutely brutal.
    The aha moment is liberation.

  • @daisygirl1217
    @daisygirl1217 5 лет назад +5

    I think it varies, especially with depending on your childhood life, (mine was highly abusive in all areas of abuse by both parents). I currently live with a few learning disabilities and did extremely poor in high school, for I could barely read and I just didn't care. I had too much stress as a kid to be able to focus on school. Once I started to attend a community college in my 30's, I had to work my butt off with studying constantly because my brain has to read things over and over again before I can retain the information. I also freeze up with exams due to extreme anxiety and aggravation towards my fellow students who are making noises which make it difficult for me to focus while in class,(e.g. tapping a pencil on the desk) yet somehow I accomplished graduating with honors and 2 AA degrees. During my time there I did get tested for brain disabilities because I wanted to be able to take my tests alone and not timed, (for that's when the real anxiety kicks in for me) and because I had just found out with a separate reading test, that I have a reading level of a 6th grader, (this was confirmed with a reading exam I took to be a tutor in English). How I received in A in College English is something I still have yet to understand. After a series of numerous tests with the college's psychologist he informed me that I lacked basic knowledge, but yet had indications of also being a genius, this for sure took me by surprise and also made it so that I disqualify on being able to test without being timed. I even had my physics professor also call me a genius while taking his class, I'll never forget what he said. He said, 'there is a difference between smart, (as he looked at the smartest guy in the class) and being a genius, (looking at me) when you put the two together, magnificent things happen'. There was also a time when I had to drop out of my Trig class due to an injury. The professor allowed me to take an incomplete so that I could make it up at a later time. I ended up having to learn Trig all by myself, for he was not teaching it the next semester. Since I am slightly dyslexic I am not the greatest at math; especially algebra for I switch numbers and letters around without knowing I am doing it. My test scores for the Trig class I made up ranged mostly as C's but when it came time to take the final my head was clear, I felt no anxiety, and I felt good being able to take the final exam in an enclosed room with no distractions. When it was time for my test results I found out I got an A! Even my Trig professor was amazed and asked me how I pulled it off. All I stated back was, 'persistent perseverance momentum', I knew he would get a kick out of that answer seeing he was also a physics professor. I have many facets to the knowledge and skills that I carry. For starters I am an artist, I once was stockbroker, (at age 24) I was a behavior therapist for autistic kids, (which I am completely drawn to for some reason), I sing, I raised two boys all by myself, I run two business's and I am now an accountant, (unfortunately for I want to be an Environmentalist which is what one of my AA degree is in). I do believe that I have both BPD and high-functioning autism, but have yet to know that for sure for I only just found out recently of my diagnosis with BPD. I also feel that not many therapists know about the possible connection between BPD and autism. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and I plan to find out just how much she knows about this. If this is something I do have, then I want to know about it.

    • @Renilou2
      @Renilou2 5 лет назад +1

      Very Awesome! I have the slight dyslexia going on too. Also Dyscalculia. I can relate, especially to the childhood background.

  • @lanettedavidson1202
    @lanettedavidson1202 6 лет назад +17

    I was diagnosed at age 47.

  • @inezryan
    @inezryan 6 лет назад +5

    I can relate this story. I've never been diagnosed, but this sounds very similar to my experience.

  • @rengsn4655
    @rengsn4655 4 года назад +6

    She gets people drunk to avoid socializing...genius! Hahah

  • @sashasasha9598
    @sashasasha9598 4 года назад +1

    I am crying right now listening her... My story so similar...

  • @SarahDale111
    @SarahDale111 4 года назад +3

    I'd like to know more about the change of diet.

  • @estherpagan8713
    @estherpagan8713 2 года назад

    My name is Esther Marie Pagan. I have felt something was different about me. I am now 62 years young. I have always struggled with math. In fact I have Dyscalculia (transference of numbers). I did not know what that meant until I got neurologically tested with audio and visual cognitive learning disability, severe test anxiety and Dyscalculia. I still did not know what that all meant. I could never have a relationship with numbers (life is a number). I did not do well with direction or instruction because I saw and ingested things that other people do not pick up on. I was a creative learner because I had to teach myself with the tools that I excelled with. My imagination, creativity and patience with my intelligence which saved me. I am a NYL massage therapist, mixed media artist, poet and writer. My hands are my livelihood. I have excelled in my own world, but the outside world does not understand my way of thinking. It gets very lonely. I am happy that I understand myself and how I process life. Please continue to educate the masses. Continue to grow our support system, and continue to be empathetic to our needs. I thank you and would love to collaborate my experience to educate others.

  • @bobbilynngibson302
    @bobbilynngibson302 5 лет назад +2

    Thank you!!! Your experience of recognizing aspergers in yourself matches my own. I soooo cried through this because your extreme senses match my own and I had thought everyone had such extreme sensitivity and felt confused why people or NTs dont seem to understand it. Now I understand it's an Aspie thing. My app for diagnosis is in July. Looking forward to it. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  • @belgarcia8366
    @belgarcia8366 4 года назад +6

    I'm 41 years old and I'm at the end of my rope. I am barely hanging on, wanting to end my life cuz I feel so alone and misunderstood. I have pretty much gone through the same as you. I would never have considered this until my 11yr old son is waiting to get tested for Autism Spectrum disorder recommended by his physicatrist. I have isolated myself and stay in bed for years. High functioning when I do get out of bed ... How would I ask my Doctor, Physicatrist, and Therapist to test me cuz I'm tired of this life where not one person understands me.

    • @nnylasoR
      @nnylasoR Год назад

      Seeing this 2 years after you wrote it, and I just want to offer you a warm (((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))
      I pray you are doing well these days. ♥️

  • @elizabethbennet4791
    @elizabethbennet4791 4 года назад +1

    OMG THIS GIRL!!! EVERYTHING SHES SAYING IS CREEPILY, PERFECTLY ON POINT!!!!

  • @sarinalight7422
    @sarinalight7422 2 года назад

    Thank you both!

  • @snowflake5987
    @snowflake5987 5 лет назад +1

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video ❤️

  • @Adhdorwhatever22
    @Adhdorwhatever22 6 лет назад +2

    I did well in college as well once I found out what I was interested in.

  • @lindaclairesartori
    @lindaclairesartori 2 года назад

    I am 74 and got diagnosed 2 months ago.
    Not plugged in.
    I will look.

  • @laurenmarzlock3419
    @laurenmarzlock3419 7 лет назад +1

    I wAS diagnosed last year.

  • @Shiney_one
    @Shiney_one 4 года назад

    This is incredible! I have been through a similar crazy struggle! I wish I knew an expert in autism...I have so many questions!

  • @anjachan
    @anjachan Год назад

    sometimes I smell/taste something too. It could also be a part of epilepsy. Im really not sure if it´s that in my case.

  • @corrigana1
    @corrigana1 5 лет назад

    I have pdd nos which is under the autism screctum umbrella

  • @jenniferdrake585
    @jenniferdrake585 3 года назад +1

    How are you able to find someone to give you multiple appointments? I haven’t ever been able to find someone to give me more than a single appointment before making a diagnosis. The wrong diagnosis, again. I’m making my third attempt now. I hope this one goes better. None of the attempts I’ve made involved the kind of timetable you’ve mentioned? I think if they met with me more than once maybe I’d be able to get the correct diagnosis? This hasn’t been working at all so far. It’s been nine years since my niece was correctly diagnosed. Yet, hear I still sit undiagnosed and misdiagnosed, waiting for someone to tell me the correct answer.

  • @colleenc1993
    @colleenc1993 8 лет назад +1

    I am 23 & only got diagnosed 9 months ago :(

  • @kayjay-kreations
    @kayjay-kreations 2 года назад

    I'd like to watch what she watched is there a link please

  • @corrigana1
    @corrigana1 5 лет назад

    I have pdd nos and was dianosged on the 18/5/2018

  • @ks6187
    @ks6187 3 года назад

    I’m 50 and trying to seek a diagnosis. Hoping my Therapist has good news for me tomorrow.

  • @mazingworldofmegan8906
    @mazingworldofmegan8906 5 лет назад +2

    I'm 27, I think I'm aspie but I haven't been able to get a dignosis yet.

  • @dmperri
    @dmperri 3 года назад +1

    "You found your people" is exactly what my mom said too. I'm a 50yr old woman and searching for a neuropsychologist that will help me .... UC Health has nobody who sees autistic adults let alone knows the gender difference ...

  • @carolynlewis9008
    @carolynlewis9008 2 года назад

    THIS IS ME!!!!!

  • @thedisableddesigner
    @thedisableddesigner 3 года назад

    6-8 WEEKS?! Mine took 4 YEARS start to finish 😅

  • @kathleenfitzsimons3388
    @kathleenfitzsimons3388 6 лет назад +10

    I wonder if I am the oldest diagnosed at 67?

    • @ithacacomments4811
      @ithacacomments4811 6 лет назад +2

      Kathleen Fitzsimons, I am 67 and believe that I am on the spectrum. No formal diagnosis yet but reading about Asperger’s explains so many of the struggles I have dealt with in my life. I believe my 44 yr old daughter has ASD.

    • @kathleenfitzsimons3388
      @kathleenfitzsimons3388 6 лет назад +2

      Ithaca Comments Good to hear from you. Thanks for responding. When I was diagnosed I felt that many questions I had about my ‘way of being’ were answered. Everything fell into place for me and I felt to a certain extent vindicated. However, when I went to get some help to tease out the many implications, the psychologist queried the diagnosis and was really no help. He asked me if I’d like a second opinion. I sighed and said I did not need one. So I may just move forward alone with this. However, your daughter is so much younger and I think would benefit from being tested. I would love to have had a diagnosis at 40. That would have been the 90’s. Not much talk about autism then.

    • @ithacacomments4811
      @ithacacomments4811 6 лет назад +1

      Kathleen Fitzsimons , Yes, my counselor reminded me that these spectrum disorders really were not defined much until the 90s. I have guilt that I should have known that she was struggling....since I am a former nurse...I just thought her behaviors were the usual childhood quirks. But the tantrums were meltdowns. Sad eyes and few smiles was not shyness. Very smart...reading at age 3. No boyfriends...never has dated...but has lots of friends just like her.

    • @kathleenfitzsimons3388
      @kathleenfitzsimons3388 6 лет назад +1

      Ithaca Comments You could not have known. Important thing now is that if she is willing, you might make a difference. Just 9 years ago I noticed some strange behaviour in a young relative and alerted the family. He was about 18 months. They had him tested and he was indeed on the spectrum. Unlike your daughter he has special educational needs. He is now doing well though he has his moments. I had come across a young autistic 3 year old in my work and that is how I knew. Pure chance encounter. So, Ithaca, this is all new to us. I now wear a medical alert bracelet...

    • @cindystroop1653
      @cindystroop1653 6 лет назад +1

      Your post is very encouraging to me as a 61 year old woman who suspects ASD, but not yet diagnosed. Thanks!

  • @naseeramohamed9892
    @naseeramohamed9892 4 года назад +3

    I find that clinicians are reluctant to make the diagnosis, why?

  • @elizabethbennet4791
    @elizabethbennet4791 4 года назад +2

    8:15 NOPE IT DOESNT. NEither does what i do as a stripper. it's literally you come into the environment with something THEY want (alcohol, a body) and THATS A SHORTCUT. Other jobs require you to full on engage is massively complex and subtle and obscure social dynamics to make them like you, which is impossible

  • @artsylady3187
    @artsylady3187 Год назад

    i was much more like the Boy description....I was a squeaky wheel....but misdx with other things ..but I do also have ADHD

  • @InChrist35
    @InChrist35 3 года назад

    Having an ah ha moment about my family members

  • @LivingFreeTv123
    @LivingFreeTv123 5 лет назад

    Yep. Double yep.

  • @Adhdorwhatever22
    @Adhdorwhatever22 6 лет назад +1

    What if I wasn’t good at math or reading?

    • @717379
      @717379 5 лет назад +3

      Being good or bad at maths or reading is not a condition for autism (or “Aspergers”))

  • @laraoneal7284
    @laraoneal7284 5 лет назад

    She sounds just like me.

  • @elizabethbennet4791
    @elizabethbennet4791 4 года назад +1

    i could never get hired to begin with...

  • @rosiesnotebooknook1
    @rosiesnotebooknook1 Год назад

    so mee.

  • @francesbale1409
    @francesbale1409 2 года назад

    wow clinicians over there are so quick to diagnose such huge illnesses like schizophrenia after saying 1 sentence! Thats so concerning.