The best way I can explain my ADHD habit of interrupting is to say that when ideas come to me they carry a kind of tremendous explosive energy and I can't just sit and patiently wait for the right moment to express them. It's like trying to suppress an orgasm. It is sad that it often makes people view me as rude and irritating, but on the other hand, I don't actually mind when people interrupt me. I actually crave intense, lively, chaotic, passionate conversations with people, and I feel like conventions of politeness just get in the way.
I watched something this week about ND people’s processing styles. Many ADHD people have what’s known as Verbal Processing styles. So we don’t forget we tend to either repeat what someone has said before they have finished or blurt out something that will make us remember what is being said. It’s how many of us learn and retain information and to an NT it just looks like interrupting or talking over them. Taking over people or interrupting is actually a compliment from an ND to an NT as it actually means we are engaged and really interested in what they are saying
I've found it super helpful to set a rule for myself: ask 3 questions before I let myself 'relate' to the information I've just received. It's helping. Sometimes I forget and go off in a tangent, or blurt out whatever my brain has reacted with. But I've found that if I come back after that and ask my three questions, people are more aware that I listened and that I care. Don't be afraid to revisit what someone said, even if you say something inappropriate in response initially.
Great topic and tools. I have improved on this a lot over the years by asking more questions, and focusing more on listening and trying to respond to the other person more (basically putting myself second) but my partner gets annoyed with me sometimes still for 'broadcasting'... When I'm wrapped up talking about something to a friend, when I remember that I have only been talking about myself, I make a point of asking them something about their life, or even saying, sorry I've been talking all about me so far, what about you?! It's a constant effort though, when I relax and feel really myself, it jumps back in, or I jump back in! 😅
My ex constantly talked about herself and constantly interrupted me. It was a major personality trait that caused our relationship to end. Despite asking her to stop, she didn't/couldn't, and wouldn't acknowledge how hurtful & rude it is and wouldn't try to change. Not sure if she had adhd, but it is a possibility.
ADD the fact I am from NY where everyone does it. It's ALSO cultural which you should mention up front. We NYers think of it as simultaneous talking. I never miss what the other person is saying. And I am not going to say, Oh, you washed your car? I no longer use that technique. I did that once with someone from Argentina who said. "YES, I just said that. Why do Americans always do that?" I am not going to make people count my interruptions. But I will ask them to raise their finger when I interrupt and they are not done. Only non-New Yorkers judge it as harshly as you do. :) But I do want to tame it since I no longer live in NY. Thinking of a question while listening to ask is a good strategy instead of just sharing YOUR experience of the same thing.
Yes, people often talk too slow for me and I start focusing on my breathing so I do NOT interrupt out of irritation, and then I miss what they are saying!
The best way I can explain my ADHD habit of interrupting is to say that when ideas come to me they carry a kind of tremendous explosive energy and I can't just sit and patiently wait for the right moment to express them. It's like trying to suppress an orgasm. It is sad that it often makes people view me as rude and irritating, but on the other hand, I don't actually mind when people interrupt me. I actually crave intense, lively, chaotic, passionate conversations with people, and I feel like conventions of politeness just get in the way.
I watched something this week about ND people’s processing styles. Many ADHD people have what’s known as Verbal Processing styles. So we don’t forget we tend to either repeat what someone has said before they have finished or blurt out something that will make us remember what is being said. It’s how many of us learn and retain information and to an NT it just looks like interrupting or talking over them. Taking over people or interrupting is actually a compliment from an ND to an NT as it actually means we are engaged and really interested in what they are saying
I've found it super helpful to set a rule for myself: ask 3 questions before I let myself 'relate' to the information I've just received.
It's helping.
Sometimes I forget and go off in a tangent, or blurt out whatever my brain has reacted with. But I've found that if I come back after that and ask my three questions, people are more aware that I listened and that I care.
Don't be afraid to revisit what someone said, even if you say something inappropriate in response initially.
Great topic and tools. I have improved on this a lot over the years by asking more questions, and focusing more on listening and trying to respond to the other person more (basically putting myself second) but my partner gets annoyed with me sometimes still for 'broadcasting'... When I'm wrapped up talking about something to a friend, when I remember that I have only been talking about myself, I make a point of asking them something about their life, or even saying, sorry I've been talking all about me so far, what about you?! It's a constant effort though, when I relax and feel really myself, it jumps back in, or I jump back in! 😅
My ex constantly talked about herself and constantly interrupted me. It was a major personality trait that caused our relationship to end. Despite asking her to stop, she didn't/couldn't, and wouldn't acknowledge how hurtful & rude it is and wouldn't try to change. Not sure if she had adhd, but it is a possibility.
ADD the fact I am from NY where everyone does it. It's ALSO cultural which you should mention up front. We NYers think of it as simultaneous talking. I never miss what the other person is saying. And I am not going to say, Oh, you washed your car? I no longer use that technique. I did that once with someone from Argentina who said. "YES, I just said that. Why do Americans always do that?" I am not going to make people count my interruptions. But I will ask them to raise their finger when I interrupt and they are not done. Only non-New Yorkers judge it as harshly as you do. :) But I do want to tame it since I no longer live in NY. Thinking of a question while listening to ask is a good strategy instead of just sharing YOUR experience of the same thing.
I explained that I have ADHD to my caregiver and she said, "don't use that as an excuse for interrupting me.". Now what🤷🏻♀️
Ask her to raise a finger if she is not done. Ask her to accomodate you by giving you a signal.
@@kathryncainmadsen5850
Nice idea! Thank you 😊👍
Gaaaaaaahhh 😩
Not me listening at this at 2x speed so I can try to force myself to focus on the information being shared.
Yes, people often talk too slow for me and I start focusing on my breathing so I do NOT interrupt out of irritation, and then I miss what they are saying!
I do this so much.
I have lvl 1 austim and adhd. I interrupt all the time. Sometimes i dont even know i make faces while someone is talkin
same girl, same!!!
Thanks. I appreciate🌬️🌤️🕊️.
I am terrible with this!