Dating as a Foreigner in Germany?
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- Опубликовано: 6 май 2023
- Whether you’re from Germany or a foreigner living there, you may have noticed that dating culture is a bit… different. In this video, I'm going to share some culture shock experiences about dating in Germany. From the telltale signs that you’ve been “ghosted” to the mind-boggling use of gender-neutral language, this video will open your eyes to the weird and wonderful world of dating as a foreigner in Germany.
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I do apologies for the reupload, we had a situation with the video. So this weekend we went through new legal stuff to help. :)
5:15 thanks for adding how he explains in depth that ... his engineering income makes dating easier, and that "girls need" this and that. he is definitely not from germany, or the eu. lol
You should do a video with the concept in reverse: asking Germans what they think about dating foreigners and if they had noticed any cultural differences between how they date and how their foreign partners date during the course of their relationship.
Yes please make a video with germans and ask them which nationality they would like to date and cultural differences
And please make it with English subtitles when they talk German !!!
@@ronneyismael605 Germans dont want to date people who are less serious about life or of different ethnicities. we want people who look like us, and are as serious, as private and have a similar understanding of mannerisms and respect and directness. I am a young middle class college educated german guy, and language aside, I would only seriously date women who are either from a german speaking country, or something like dutch or scandinavian, assuming they are similarly serious, well behaved and private and of the same social class. I would be open to date women from eastern europe or anglosphere countries in theory if they are middle class, same ethnicity and have a serious attitude about life. I dont want open, free spirited, non serious, unhinged women who think of sex or relationship or friendships as no big deal.
@@sshreddderr9409 Thank you so much for your answer , I agree with you but I want to know Why Majority of Germans are not getting married ? They are having a long term relationship and after that they break up and move to another relationship. Marraige as an institute has lost its meaning ? What do you want to say about this ?
@@ronneyismael605 marriage has lost its meaning because of feminist propaganda, laws and wellfare. Why would men get married when they get nothing out of it but bear all the risk. modern marriage is like life enurance for women, and women have zero legal invstment. women can leave at any point for no reason, so there is no point as a man. on top of that, child support is guaranteed because even if the father has no money, the state pays, and school, kindergarden and daycare is cheap or state sponsored. A the same time, child support is a fixed rate and marriage can be done without financial commitment, so there is also no real benefit for women because there is barely a way to exploit men via marriage and at the same time the state pays anyway so women mostly dont bother because the social safety net is always there, and there is no money to easily take.
there is just no benefit anymore and people just act like they are married without being married if they want a family.
Why would I want to marry a woman if I get nothing out of it and she can just as easily leave as if there was no marriage at all? Its not a marriage if you can leave whenever you want. its not a legal commitment at this point, its just a symbolic act that comes with unnecessary burocracy, one sides risk for men, and no upside.
As a German woman, the dating culture in Germany is like that. You do something fun together (concert, hikes, zoo, meal at a restaurant) If the guy liked you they will ask you out again. At some point, 2nd, 3rd, sometimes the 4th "date" they've "checked you out" enough to tell you whether they would like something more or not. And if not, you remain good friends who hang out together sometimes. I think we just open up the playing field to go either and any way without throwing the other person away again. For that foreigners need to understand that there is extremely high value placed on loyalty in friendships and of course relationships (that's out of the question). If you understand loyalty (that's why germans will usually stay your friend lifelong) and accept that and welcome it, you have something really cool. Germans are more conservative and are looking long term. I don't think we have as much of a hook-up culture as other places. Unless that's something you've discussed before and then in Germany it's often like "friendship +"
P.S. And if you are after a hook-up, in Germany we have establishments for that 😅 Check out your local swinger club. Im not even kidding you. They are kinky fuckers 😂
Kinky fuckers 😅
I lived in munich / in munchen 6 jahre... born in croatia... and have to say my first real love is a german /Bairisch medl (daniela) and i never had an issue to date or have fun with a german girl... alles gutte aus London...
@@worldONtrauma Yes, neither do I think anyone else should. Especially if you're honest with your motives. I think they appreciate that.
Very well said.
I have two question,
Are Germans girls religious, means are they stay virgin until marriage?
are Germans prefer religious person to marry or date
It's not shy/ reserved It's just that german culture does not revolve around getting laid like american culture. Also germans have healthy friendship with people of the gender(/s) they are attracted to. Not every interaction is sexualized and looked at through that lense of "potential romance/ sexual encounter".
One of the things I love THE MOST about german society.
So true! As a German, it's not uncommon to have friendships between guys and women. Sometimes they evolve into something, sometimes they don't. Usually when a German guy is interested in you, that's why they talk much more. They lay down they shyness and talk out of nervousness. It's not like they deliberately only talk about themselves like somebody mentioned here.
But what about romantic feelings? They are not same as sexualizing. You can have platonic feelings. I feel like this stuff is completely out of the picture here. As it was only about friendship and/or sex. What about love? Do you just start secretly developing feelings towards your friends hoping they will reciprocate? Do you ever let them know? Or do you "wait" with feelings until you are together.. or married.. or have children.. mortage.. old.. when do you finally commit to someone?
I totally agree 👍
keep your culture, we appreciate that characteristic
Bullshit..m
It's difficult for Germans too. Women in Germany generally don't like to be approached, especially German ones and from Muslim countries of course. It's mainly through friends, work and dating sites I have the impression.
Shite, I'm not from Muslim country, but often associated with one, because of the political dominance there. while that country is supposed to be secular. I hope I can convince this people, and I'm an Atheist too! yeah it's not safe for me in here, lmao
@@tiedd turkey ❤
@@tiedd me too. Even Arabs think I’m one of them
@@tieddfunny
What your believes are based on? I've come across many arabic/german couples so keep your mouth shut and dont exaggerate.
You're so sweet and polite with the people you interviewed, thank you for the insightful responses! Would be awesome to hear what the germans think about foreigners
Foreigner: "How is dating in Germany?"
Website search: "Sorry, we could not find any search results"
Its like Sweden, many similarities. People are sort of open for dating and having fun (if they really like you) but serious commitments is much more complex. Then the culture becomes important and many are still more traditional/conservative even if it’s not noticeable on the surface. It’s just about really wanting it to work and dating/marrying a foreigner can become much more complicated. I have a German male friend who I’ve known for 8 years and we talk a lot about this, very similar.
Sweden is also more racist. Germans are def more open minded and warmer.
@@reyaandbubu3819 Haha yeah yeah believe whatever you want, I will not start a discussion with you. But you know, India is ranked the nr 1 most racist country in the world. So careful what you say and look at yourself, you for sure look Indian so just because you want complete acceptance when you come to Europe, look firstly how you treat others.
@@reyaandbubu3819That’s actually a pretty racist and generalizing statement in itself. Are you Swedish?
@@Livingtree32Lol do you live under a rock? Sweden is very racist towards foreigners. I faced a lot of covert racism when I visited Sweden as a foreigner.
@@Livingtree32 I'm not either but I lived in Sweden and Germany and Swedes are definitely more racist in my experience as an Arab guy I'm not saying that as a bad thing about Swedes in general just merely an observation. Perhaps because Germany has had immigrants there for a fair bit longer.
Great video series!
I spent some time in Germany and found them to be similar to the British, maybe a little more reserved and with a closer culture, the girls were forward in some instances, I had one stare at me quite intently whereas in England its much more about the way they look at you rather than for how long. I think they are quite a conservative people with depth rather than being loud and superficial which I really like about them.
And we like our british cousins....❤
As a Scandinavian who’s lived in Germany(and speak the language), it’s interesting how Americans, and to some degree Brits (even though we’re closely related people), often are struggling to get their head around German/Scandinavian intersexual behaviour.They often make fun of us. We are introverts(even though every country is reckoned to have about 70% extroverts and 30 % introverts), women here are beautiful, but often cold and difficult, the men are shy and passive, they have no game and so on.
But we just don’t have an organized dating culture full of rules like the US. More relaxed, based on relatively high equality between the sexes, not so much on narrowly defined gender roles. We play it intuitively by ear, sensing what’s actually going on and improvising accordingly. Americans, and to some extent Brits, seem to depend more on knowing the rules in beforehand, and consequently the roles and responsibilites of each gender become more clear and evident. Different approaches, different strengths and weaknesses.
You put it really well! I had noticed that women (I'm taking the male perspective) in US / GB somehow came across differently. I couldn't really tell what it was compared to German women, but yeah, it's actually among other things these guidelines they follow when dating. This makes the interaction between the sexes seem somewhat cold-hearted and calculating, at least in the introductory phase.
And then it's supposed to be the Germans who are so rule-abiding and unrelaxed. Not in this case.
I’m sorry but you have no game. Don’t care how you put it. The French, Spanish, Italians have it down pact. Bar Scandinavians and German are a bore.there is no rules that Americans follow.
@@Bibirallie Interesting to hear from someone who has been living under a rock all his life.
Yeah, here is little outright flirting and "anbaggern" is looked down upon. Usually you go from affiliate to doing some activities together, if a friendship develops then potentially something more can develope or if not you gained a new good friend. It's more casual and can't be forced like in other cultures by "mating rituals". Guessing by how hard it is for foreigners to find German friends the relationship game is probably even a lot harder for them
I used to date with about 10 guys from Bumble (they were mostly German, since I live in a small city), and my impression of those German guys is that they talk too much about themselves on a first date. 90% of the time they were talking about themselves. In my opinion, it’s nice to listen to the other half... I met my now-husband who listened to me half of the time on a first date 🥰
i can second this as a straight german guy in germany who always listen to his male friends stories
(and there i made it about myself and told you)
That's the seemingly paradoxical German mindset: we usually only approach strangers when in a really tough situation (like being totally lost w/o a phone or helpful literature), to complain (in mostly incomplete sentences) or if the situation requires it (like "Who'll be leaving / taking their bike first?" while taking seats on the train).
It's commonly seen as low-class and demeaning behavior to just cat-call or approach passers-by, unless the "Todesblick" = "death stare" meets with no side backing off quickly (only half joking actually). Gestures/shrugs/groans may overrule words. Most dates initiate with a question towards a close-by person in the realms of "Who are you and why here?", only if a decently positive acknowledgement follows, casual conversation may commence.
Dating apps should be considered best for homosexual encounters (similar chances per gender) or quick hookups (w/ women in clear advantage). As many Germans aren't in it for the both (we have legal brothels mind you), they instead; usually with genuine passion; search their soulmate or passively (such as Tinder matches) wait for a decent alternative. It's also quite uncommon for adults in their later 20's and beyond to repeatedly cheat, rather propose an "open relationship" from the get-go.
I'd compare ourselves with Japan in this regard, even though they often stigmatize foreigners even more (but are regularly too shy to admit; hence getting into & out of serious trouble both have a rather high bar). As German, I personally prefer honesty, even though it can be brutal at times - makes the average human relationship much more genuine&sincere.
10 guys 🤡🤡🤣🤣
i have your husband in my prayers. amen
boring.
Absolutely love these videos, you're doing a great job. I'm also curious to see what Germans have to say about dating foreigners. Hope you'll make a video on this topic too.
Dating yes, serious relationship probably no (unless they grew up here and share a similar culture e.g. I couldn't see myself pursuing a serious relationship with a Muslim woman, though of course never say never). Dating foreigners is quite weird for us as on the one hand foreigners often go waaaaay too fast for us (first date with a Canadian she said she loved me, of course not meant in the same severity as the German understanding of that term, but still that kinda really through me off) and on the other we, like e.g. also the Scandinavians guessing from other comments here, don't really have a defined "mating ritual", so there is a lot of potential for conflict and misunderstandings during the phase where I am still contemplating wether I want to be friends with the other person and see where things go from there while she is already judging me from a potential spouse perspective and expecting certain signs and behaviours normal to her but completely alien to me.
Overall international dating is a lot of fun and has a lot of excitement early on but turning it into a serious relationship is a lot harder, at least to me not least of all because of cultural communication issues even when speaking the same language
@@hmvollbanane1259 But why does it have to be someone so different from your cultural background? (not that it would be a problem, but that's how you stated it). For example if I'm also European, same religion (not that anyone cares about that anymore), same values and mindset or whatever, why can't that turn into a serious relationship?
I lived for 5 years in München and your video made me think about this topic. In the beginning, in school, I had two German boyfriends, but after that, in fact all the guys I met were foreigners or people with migration background. I never thought about this, because for me it doesn’t make a difference. If you like someone, it doesn’t matter where they come from. And yes, the foreign guys are more outgoing, they approached me first, no matter where… dancing in the club, or on the streets or in English Garden. Of course you have to be open for meeting people and I think germans don’t expect to meet the love of their life on the street. But you never know 😅
In Munich there are only a few Germans of dating age.
There is an obvious difference in lifestyle because with Germans, the girls ALSO approach the men. If you culture dictates that only men should approach, there is an obvious cultural conflict and it's fine to not fit in with other culture's life style. I wanted to give the traditional Indian wedding a shot and realized that women in India (the ones I met) were too immature for me. What they were looking for was a babysitter for them and not really a partner to be on equal footing. I personally didn't like that at all and I prefer my partner be able to do her own thing, have her own hobbies and not be my child. But some men like their women to be like that.
doesnt it matter when the difference can be so huge?
@@nareshwildbonesthe same in my country, but is normal here :')
Coming from Austria I feel its very similar here. I also have been to Korea and I felt culturally many similarities between them, except that in Korea people tend to have more rules for dating but also ghost a bit more. German guys wont approach, they will if interested, comment on your insta or start texting you private messages. Usually you meet people through your already existing friends group, which means if you dont have a big or potent group its hard to meet someone new, as meeting someone when going out is usually an equivalent for sex and nothing more.
Also online dating is an option, at least for girls, but also often just for sex.
I actually believe if you are a foreigner from like latin countries, africa, england or maybe japan you have good cards, as some people are really into some cultural differences. I'm not sure about long term dating though.
Overall a lot of people still like someone who is at least very good at speaking german, as many believe you can share more and understand each other better.
Also depending on which generation one is dating in: for youngsters its all about polyamoury so quite hard to find something permanent or longterm, for millenial its kinda a mix, also half are more open minded for foreigners and half want someone from here as they believe that cultural differences could stand in the way, in particular for girls as they are more independent and with a culture similar to arabe cultures many view this as being incompatable.
As for me, I met my boyfriend online, and he is indian..My friend is married to an indian, and another one is dating an indian as well..I know there are quite a few indians in germany and austria, and from my experience these guys are super lovely and essentially that what a girl wants in the long run, as they usually are loyal and themselves thinking longterm.
That’s cute about Indian guys
Yes, one of my German colleagues here in the UK has an Indian husband. Asian men are usually reliable, long term focused, family-oriented etc. They are more homely and usually come from culturally rich backgrounds.
Muzlims and Ar@bs are generally more demanding as they expect you to convert to their religion and adhere to the norms of their drastically different cultures. Hindus, Buddhists etc will be more likely to meet you in the middle and be accommodating of your culture.
Loves this video ! Laughed several times.
That focus and shyness makes them great (if not the supreme) mechanical engineers on the globe. Knowing from my experience.
I’ve discovered it’s difficult if one is not lighter skin . As a darker skinned person I have found it difficult and often see on dating apps men saying they only prefer whites ,Asians or those of the lighter skin
Hmm, I would say the skin color is less important than the general features each ethnic owns. So two ethnics might have a similarly dark skin color, but still be not equally popular.
@@Divinity_vA still racist lol
@@jeylonblake3407 So men can't have skin preference but you as a woman can have weight, height und hair color preferences ?
So easy to play the victim.
@@jeylonblake3407because people don’t find you attractive they must be racist? Lmao cope much? 🤡
@@devilsadvocate2643 skin preference is a form of racism called sexual racism
Been through Frankfurt airport a few times. Found the airport staff to be quite jovial actually. Whenever I would say “take care” or “have a good day” they would get pleasantly surprised, not sure I was misreading.
wunderbar you are so funny and you're in such a good mood
As a german guy I have to state that approaching good-looking women in inappropriate situations is seen as very shallow, typically mysoginist and maybe even arrogant (So you think she would be interested in you in any way? Why?).
Most women just want to enjoy their day and usually have stuff to do without someone trying to chat them up or whatever. Also, if all you can go by is their looks you are again shallow.
A problem IS that there aren't too many appropriate situations to try and make "first contact". It would have to be somewhere where you get some more idea about her (besides her looks).
The park might be a good place. You could open with - "You guys look like a lot of fun, can I join for a bit / do you want to join us for a bit" and so on.
The club is good, because girls expect to be danced or flirted with and should be ok with it - if you aren't creepy / disrespectful.
But yes, in general our culture expects some more thought or depth than "you look hot" as a reason to want to get to know someone.
Additionally it is also somewhat common to just want to get laid, but there are specific places (and apps) for that. And there women only want the hottest guys, and there is a huge imbalance between the genders.
That made no sense, so how do you get to know someone? What else do you know when you fiest meet aside from looks. Also, you are exactly like the US as far as dating sorry dude.
@@intellectualsmoke I have no first hand experience of US dating culture. The video suggested that it is somewhat different.
And if it's the same I see no reason to be sorry for me, but maybe you can explain that part?
I explained how to get to know someone, but also I mentioned that good opportunities are somewhat rare.
Though one should add that the topic here was "hitting on strangers in public", and another common way to meet people (since you were asking) is through friends.
Junge du bist ja nen Opfer 😂
a lot of foreigners today just dont get out of their foreigner bubble with other foreigners or cosmopolitan people, speaking english and barely get in touch with the majority of the society. of course the options for meeting suitable partners is limited through that. some nationalities like the Indians even prefere to stay among themselves, seldom mixing with other groups. the best chances for foreigners are if they are isolated from other foreigners and are forced to deal with the population and adapt. i ve met foreigners who have been here for 10 years and still barely speak the language, only having international friends, maybe one or two locals. And that ignrorant attitude in dating (and few other things), complaining because (suprise!) the local dating culture is different as in ones home country. You go to a different country, a different culture, you have to adapt, not the other way round. that
You have to adapt to almost everything. But something has to be mine. And I think privacy is just such a case. My bed, my heart - just my rules.
You've probably never moved. Or do you completely adopt the culture of a place when you move?
I agree with this statement, i've just moved to Germany and realized this in my first two weeks. One must seek discomfort and adapt to society, not the other way around I'm on my way to accomplishing this but it takes courage to reject hanging out with people who are offering your their friendship just because the feeling of familiarity that a person form your country brings to you.
@@user-zx1tp8cb2h you should ask yourself why you only think in absolutes. You dont have to adapt to everything but enough to be a part of the society and not a foreign body. Of course its everbodys own heart, rules etc., but you have to adapt to a certain degree which empoweres you to have all kinds of relationships. If you are not willing to do that, well....
at first this comment seems harsh but if people think critically, it is actually very true. English speaking programs creates bubbles especially if you cant speak German yet. But it takes a lot of time to realize that, Shitttt! I am in a buble and cant integrate myself to the place well and this is my fault. So I agree with what you re saying as an international student.
Most foreigners go to Germany wanting to practice and learn the language. If they end up in Berlin, it’s almost impossible to not speak English
Im from Tunisia and the few Germans I met in Tunisia are super cool open minded and fun.I think it depends on the person in general in every culture u find the good the bad the reserved the outgoing so yea. In Tunisia here many Tunisian they dont see them selfs with a foreigner , while me I can see my self with a foreigner so It depend on the person.
The people of Iraq are also maligned because they are Muslims and however they are very friendly, I say that as an American man.
@@RicardoMartinez-oh9sq I love all the world Im 100% sure that good people are everywhere
Who the f hell are you to even ask ? u propably an illiterate who can't say 2 proper words in English @@Ben_2040
Ehm, I guess for expats/students its more or less the same situation in every non English speaking country when it comes to dating. I am also not surprised that the expats mostly keep to themselves. They all speak English fluently and have no German circles of friends. That makes things much easier. People from eight nations work in my wife's company. They come from Denmark, Sweden, England, France, Kenya, Ethiopia, Indonesia and China. The further away from Europe, the harder the socialising.
I like how the girls complain about guys not approaching them but are 100% ready to reject the guys approaching them. lol
As a man I say: rejection should not be a problem for a real guy. What, are you made of glass or something?
On the other had, in certain places, that rejection might come with a court order (or social cancellation), so adjust accordingly.
@@baddolphin1423 Thank you for your mansplaining
@@ahzootube Well, it was more like an opinion. I wasn't really explaining nothing, but whatever...
It depends, it's not really like that. Girls want men to appraoch when they give them space to come, like they look at them, smile, kind of stare but not in a creepy way, maybe walk away from their friends. That's the time to approach. You have to pay attention to body language, otherwise they might not be interested and you'll get a rejection.
As all women, they want the top 10% men to approach them. The other 90% of men are a problem.
I love our german art of mating I think it is beautiful!
Our men are usually not annoying, or harrasing, they don't flirt for fun and you can be pretty sure, that if he asks you out on a date, he won't have another one planned with someone else. For as long as the both of you keep showing interest in one another, you do not really look elsewhere.
We usually split the bill, so us women don't feel pressure do repay you in any way and we can order whatever we want without feeling guilty. And he also knows, that you are actually interested, when you keep on dating.
❤
Fairy tale.
@@ClaudiaM-js6ol probably, but it is definitely not common!
@@ClaudiaM-js6oli dont, except she would order something crazy expensive.
Some women dont want that and insist on splitting the bill.
Great vid with great info
Well, it is hard to date germans for germans, too. Problem is, there are so many self-entitled people in this interview, who choose to go to germany, but suprise, suprise ... mentality is different. I mean, what do you expect ? Why has the world always work like you get used to ?
the blonde girl from spain looks so much like mariah carey
I immediately thought that too. She really does look like her.
Coz she is the daughter of Mariah Carey. Her name is Cariah Marey.
legend says people actually started learning german after this video and questioned their political beliefs or if they had any..
Thank you for the info.
This videomade my day,😂. As a German living abroad for about 20y, ... i have to say "stiff Germans" . I never thought about, but living in an international environment changed myself much more to the style of the interviewed people. .... i will check on my next Germany visit 😊
Dating works different in Germany, but I guess that everyone knows that it's not impossible. At least in the West (of Germany), were I life and I guess that's not uncommon, at least the guys prevent from being rejected. What happens is that they actually do not always ask their "flirt target", but friends of that "target" and that's usually easier, if that's happening via a shared friend cycle or network. In the club, with the music, flirting is generally impossible or at least pretty hard. Also German women get very restrictive and protective, if strangers are approaching their friends. An example: A good friend and I once had a very nice conversation with a Spanish girl in a club. She knew, we were both taken and just wanted to try out our school Spanish and have some nice small talk. We bought her a drink since she was nice and her (German female) friends directly believed that we wanted to make her drunk for something. We did not even flirt with her. That's why we rarely ever do that (generally). Of course we directly proved that the drink was clean from drugs and drunk it directly in front of the women and that was the end of the story. Point is, if one of us would have been single, this would have been the end of the story as well.
Btw., with the aforementioned method (I call it the "Stillepost" method - So asking the friends of the crush), I met half of my ex and also my current girlfriend.
I'm sorry. That sounds horrible.
Those are not friends if they think that bad of you and nothing happens
Not really about dating, but I have the impression that Indian guest students deliberately shut themselves off. They often don't speak a word of German, even after 3+ years in the country, only meet each other (as you can see here in the video) and also have no interest in communication. At a birthday party I left early because only Indian (instead of German or English) was spoken, although there were a few other internationals there. I found that quite rude.
Well said. I have observed this also in the UK and Canada where a lot of them reside as students and guest workers.
@@blackgold1980they are too shy and reserved
You are correct. Because majority of Indians like to date within their ethnic cultural background. For them 1st preference is their partner of same caste from same state. If not then same caste from neighbouring state. Then different caste plus same state or neighbouring state. If above conditions are not met then s/he will for other Indians from farther Indian states. Dating or marrying a foreigner is the least desirable option for them.
Also majority of Indians that you must have hanged around must be of different Indian language background. They use a common language Hindi for communication. So technically they all are already conversing in a non native tounge with each other.
To be frank, there's no dating culture in India. So, these guys really don't have anything to compare with.
@@MrRahul6464Was, glaubst Du, tun Deutsche, wenn sie bei RUclips Kommentare schreiben? Für praktisch alle ist Hochdeutsch eine Fremdsprache. Englisch ist das natürlich erst recht, und in meiner Schulzeit nicht in allen Schulformen zu lehren und zu lernen erlaubt, - lediglich ein mickriges Französisch, das nichtmal reichte, Klopapier zu kaufen oder Drulinger Butter.
My experiences there were quite different than mentioned here. I was approached by men, went on dates, not all serious but always fun. It's been a long time though. I have to wonder if there's been a change due to phones and social media. Is this causing things to change in regards to dating (like in many other areas of the world) or were my experiences not the norm?
afaik no one in Germay acts in that way the US lady (with the white blouse) was talking of...approaching a stranger, give compliments and a coffee
Good. I thought I am always the weird one. That's why I resigned on the idea of living in Germany for a while :) I always felt like an intruder in the country.
I’d it’s actually true that girls do approach guys there, then that makes sense why some of these girls think the guys are more shy or are never approached. Cuz the guys expect them to make the move sometimes too. But Especially when the girl is coming from another country where the guy is the one that HAS to always make the move.
You should do a video with the concept in reverse. Please I'm curious to see what German have to say about dating foreigners and make it with English subtitles when they talk German.
The reaction would be obvious. Top rated would be Mediterranean (which would, again be presented as interracial), followed by Mediterranean origin white Hispanic, followed by Northern Americans, Australian etc. Much lower would be East Asian female. The rest (including East Asian male) do not even exist. And evidently no one sees "race".
They dont date foreigners
@@donkyhot4832 Except fat divorced old fa rt German + 20 years old Filipina, Thai, Viet woman.
@@donkyhot4832Rubbish…
@TabeaSerenety try read carefully.
12% are between german citizens(imigrants with citizenship) and foreigners
Honestly, I think it's just a cultural thing that some people like and some people dislike. It is true that in Germany, especially in Munich, many girls enjoy that they're not being approached by guys. A friend of mine cited this as the No1 reason why she moved to Munich. For the (german) guys, I think they have difficulties to interpret if the girl is interested as well (that staring thing when you don't know if someone is into you or judging you) and won't approach you if they're not sure. Clear signals from both sexes like eye contact + smiling can help I guess.
Just one thing, some expats think that's it's just them for being international, speaking English and knowing only a few words in German etc. At least from my perspective that "shyness thing" exists between german boys and girls as well and has nothing to do with you. It can be weird when you're coming from a country where you used to get hit on all the time and now in Germany no one approaches you and potentially make you feel bad but as I said... this is more general thing here...
It's simply a cultural difference and there's no need to feel bad =)
Yep, it's the same between Germans. The number of single households and single people has increased dramatically over the last decades for a reason in Germany. We German men have no good role models when it comes to dating and romance. Most of our fathers are bad at flirting and spreading amore, so where should we learn how to approach women in a romantic, amorous way? ;)
Most women dont need to approach men as most of them if they are not morbidly obese, have an abundance of options regardless.
@@rjflores438ot true... I have a normal weight, look good and really find it difficult to date somebody of similar level in Germany. Only Turkish guys seem to like me and I don't wanna change my religion 🙄
@@Micha-bp5omMaybe thoughts like “similar level” are your main problem.
@@Livingtree32 Problem is most women overestimate their own level. Most 5s think they are 8s.
I lived in DE and i think for me i did meet men but it was slow and subtle. I knew one guy who took 3-4 months to get to know me from afar. Then he told me he liked me on first date.
Einer von der schnellen Truppe also.
I'm Indian and my partner's German and i was the one who asked him out. My advice - Pls ask them out directly. Do not wait for signs or games. Be polite though! But be direct, there's nothing to lose. It was fairly easy for me to ask because I'm the one who mostly makes the first move so there's that too. Pls especially straight women/women attracted to men, don't wait for the men to make the first move! And yeah we always split the bill/pay every alternate date.
I am enjoying this channel, expats there are fun 😂
if you look good enough dating will be easy for you everywhere irrespective of location
its all about looks
You mean the racist Eurocentric norms of beauty? Wonder why 98% of the interracial relationship are between old divorced fat ugly German male and much younger East Asian female.
its true, i never approach women but they approach me but it has nothing to do with ego
@@trythis2006 yes looks are everything in the eyes of women
@@User-zy5io did you liked your own comment bruh?
Bro took the blackpill with no water
Thank you for that content!
It’s pretty interesting to hear the perspective from international people form different places all over the world.
It appear to me that Munich is quite international?!
Germans always “stare” 😂 that was the best part! And it’s true because I’m also starring way too much 😂😂😂
Hardly. Munich is very homogeneous for a prosperous western European city with headquarter of multiple global Fortune 500 companies.
@@val-schaeffer1117Munich has a foreigner percentage of about 25%, I wouldn’t exactly call this homogeneous. Been living here for 12 years and it’s really international and mixed.
@@Livingtree32 White foreigner is NOT diversity. Hitler was also a foreigner in Germany, innit?
2:59 These American ladies shouldn't be condescending to German guys. These are cultural differences. They don't exist to serve you. I can see why Germans aren't attracted. As an American, neither am I.
Oh this sounds so sad. I am so sorry! ❤❤❤
that Indian guy with sky-blue t shirt stole the show😂😂
That will be easy for men from different countries to aporoach ladies since not many guys are approaching them so i see it as a plus point being a guy less competition
At 2:34 are you sure you specified that you wanted to know what it was like dating in Germany? Because she literally described our life in the US. I don't think she understood the question.
Even for me as a German woman, dating is next to impossible in Germany, German men simply ignore me, which is why I'm in my second long distance relationship right now. 😅
Oh really ..so these foreigners are correct in saying it’s very hard .if the open their minds a bit they will see beautiful people , cultures and world out there I guess :)
I dont really see the point. If they dont approach you, approach them. As easy as that
@Hans æðelflæd Aren't you a ray of sunshine! I'm sure your fine personality and exquisite communication skills attract a lot of attention from women. In fact, I'm so intrigued - if you happen to have a free slot in your busy dating life, can I get your number? 😅
Let's dating as Friend and not Love, for learning Deutsche 😅
Well, it must be heaven for women then.
All I hear nowadays is how bad men are and that they harass women.
Must be nice to live in a country where that doesn't happen.
you gotta approach it is what it is
I sort of remember that you posted the very same video some days ago and I commented on it.
Now I am confused...
We had a situation I do apologies :)
@@yourtruebrit Uh, okay... 😯 I do hope that all is well now.
❣This is why Germens are the best. ✊🏻
Is that what you took out of this video?😂😂
Nice watching your channel
I feel like the mexican girl understood how beneficial her cultural difference is by acknowledging the differences, not judging them and using the benefits from her cultural background as advantage 😃 you can have a lot of success if you use your ''different background'' combined with not trying to put the own culture on others.
Super refreshing video, thanks
As a French person but quite extraverted, I struglle also a little because people are so introverted and flirting is not always allowed...
Perspective of a German woman here, I can guarantee you that we are neither shy nor uptight. We just want our peace and personal space. Being chatted up on the street is usually just annoying and uncomfortable. In settings like parties or online dating it's different of course, but I also want to choose the people I want to get to know better there. And yes, we are proud of our techno culture, so if you don't like techno it looks difficult for you. Of course, I can't speak for all Germans, but at least I've had these experiences in my community. We were raised that way and it's our mentality. ;) And I’ve had relationships with foreigners who appreciated that.
Yes, you Germans are beautiful as you are.
Don't change anything.
What is the techno culture though? Just curious.
Germans are just cold as their climate and its boring for this modern age
Still, most German people don't want dates, we think of long term marriage.
@@TK-el4srDavon habe ich auch noch nichts gehört.
Living on Mallorca currently ... I am invisible for spanish women. ^^ I would never jump into the face of anyone and joke and flirt. As a german it is hard in Germany but even harder elsewhere if you are not very outgoing.
So do you expect to someone approach to you?
Most of the time I am just not interested in getting to know other people, no matter if it is for friendship or dating. I like casual flirts a lot, just looking, a little smile, and that's it - a flirt, in my definition, doesn't have to go beyond that. I am very determined when it comes to dating. If I am not open you can approach me as much as you want, you won't be successful, even if you are super attractive. And another thing: Usually I don't waste my time on casual relationships at all (like mentioned in the video), no matter if they are romantic or platonic. I like deeper conversations (small talk uugh) and meaningful relationships, therefore I try to find out if a person is worth it or not, and that can happen quite fast without the other person noticing.
From a german guy
I have really impressed by your thoughts on Dating. Are you religious person? Are you from Germany?
@@MdnoorMirza Hey :) Yes I am german but I am not religious
Trust me, if u`r fucking gorgeous or handsome, people will approach whatever you`r gender/ nor nationality is. Germans are really opend-minded, however not into bullshiet excuses and time spending (or money) and as i have been experienced, those stereotypes about germans being shy are just half true. Top most, for men.. Guys, those german heritages women are incredible gorgeous ( in my perspective at least), so better be top 10% of men so that you could stand a chance, is that easy to complain about that.
Romanian language has an idiom that explains perfectly what those guys/ girls were trying to explain " When the fox can`t get the grapes it will say that they are sour"!
I really liked this, so true what you said @fred92
Interesting video
We call it "respecting women".
@@linabelle6267 Dann wird auch wieder nur geheult, weil der Ansprechende nicht recht ist.
@@linabelle6267 War früher einmal machbar. Heute scheint es unendlich viele Befindlichkeiten - das Trennende wird immer stärker hervorgehoben. Schade.
sprich doch selber jemand an anstatt rumzuheulen, dass es nicht so ist wie du es gerne hättest, ist ja schlimm @@linabelle6267
What the Spanish woman says is nonsense. People differ according to their goals in life, work, preferences and level of education, among other things. Not everyone spends their free time going out partying every weekend, drinking alcohol and having meaningless sex with strangers.
7:18 That girl's talking like she's trying food 😅
As a Mexican I can assure all of you, Mexican girls have it extremely easy in terms of dating in Germany
Por qué?
I've been so many times to Germany on holiday as a belgian single man its a beautiful country beautiful churches and Castles but i enjoyed the Bratwurst and Schnitzels many times but never experienced love in Germany 🤔
Ich möchte fast vermuten, daß das sehr wenige Menschen erlebt haben. Aber wir können Menschen nicht in den Kopf schauen (Datenschutz 😊, ihr versteht, sie sagen natürlich auch nichts; so vergehen Monate, ohne daß man ein privates Wort hört oder ausspricht).
That’s my hometown Munich actually, which is the worse city all over the world in order to get to know women. To be honest many guys in Germany gave up to approach the girls, because they never smile or flirting, or give you any sign they would be interested in you. It’s very sad actually. Comparing to Spain or France for example it’s another world.
Könnte es nicht besser sagen. He is right with that.
eh, I'm German and have been in Munich for a week, which led to two girls approaching me, which didn't happen much before, also Englischer Garten and Oktoberfest are super easy to find people. We can't generalise such things, its always more about you & your potential date than anything related to cities (that we can quantify and make such broad statements from)
Man I'm born and raised in that city. Happy for you that you got lucky. Maybe you brought a back full of dollars....hahahahah. Of course there is an amount of people which are nice like everywhere.@@DS-uo1zy
We are exploring the field of dating as much as exploring the galaxy 😂
I'm also a foreigner living in Berlin.
From my experience, you meet a German, you have a basic conversation and after that nothing happens. They are not ready to force the situation. I would like to have more actions from a men's side rather than asking a man to go on a first date. Maybe it's just cultural differences.
Probably it happens because of feminism and Germans are kind of afraid to get rejected.
The same I've heard about why Germans don't offer to help you, when you're carrying a big suitcase.
Hey
@@iyohachiagozie4864 hey, do you agree?
@@elenaemrikh626 yes of course
Nobody is afraid. guys just want to know, if you seriously emancipated or just want to rip the benefits out of it.
I‘m a German woman and German men ask me all the time if they can take my suitcase for me when they see I‘m struggling. Must be a you problem.
So fun
Dating as a man in any Western European country is awful, only beaten by America.
America?
I’m a German guy who’s also lived abroad, dating foreign and domestic women. I feel like the reason guys in Germany are not approaching women on every occasion is because of the way feminism works here and also the culture in general. Many guys respect women so much, they see them as equal. Thus, they also think that women could approach them (which rarely happens). Actually, it’s still that girls want to be approached and you need to understand the signs. Otherwise it can happen really fast that girls (for example when you get too close in a club) feel harassed and offended. German women want to be strong and independent, that can seem scary. You need to know what’s appropriate and what not.
My advice for guys who want to approach German women is -first of all- just to be friendly and (if you go clubbing e.g.) invite them for a drink or something first. When you feel like there are vibes, just go there and say “hey, you seem nice. Can I invite you for a drink?” And see if you guys vibe. That almost always worked for me at least.
Also, when you like someone ask for the number or, even better, instagram. Write a bit, see if you vibe and if yes, ask them out.
Just dancing won’t get a German’s heart, you need to be able to talk to them is my personal observation. But I also had one night stands and all kinda stuff here. So, it always depends on the person and situation 💁♂️
He truly feelt what "Seiten auf null" meant, while being in Germany.
As a German, I can say it is indeed hard to date but not only because of, you are from another Country, this could be actually Helpful, so you have more to talk about like sharing your culture. But I think most of the German Man are Insecure about the Woman. The average German I know is looking for something long lasting, stable. The traditional thing like Wife, Kids, House, good Job. So most of the guys look for a reliable, monogamous Woman. But to be Honest, a life like that can be boring for an Independent Feminist Woman. Most women you can date today, want a good career, hobbies and friends too what is brilliant when it comes to fulfill yourself, but a Family is kind of a full time job.
And when you have to work all day, there is not much time left to fulfill yourself. Not for the Women, neither the Man and practically non as a couple. And if Both go to work making every day the same things, you will end up to have nothing new to talk about.!
So what makes dating in general complicated is if you look good and ask a girl out for a coffee, that might work. If you're the average guy, with an average boring job and an average low income, most of the girls won't even recognize you. It's a success if she doesn't look at you like you're disgusting.
So here is the question, isn't it better to fulfill yourself make some sport eat healthy and have good Friends and hobbies and enjoy your life and learn to live alone instead of trying to find someone you might end up have nothing to say to.
Long story short, dating is hard no matter where you're from.! My advice, if you like a German guy, Ask him out for a coffee, get to know each other better and maybe it works. !
peace✌
@@avi4francis thank you for sharing your story. Maybe your right show must go on ✌
@@ClaudiaM-js6ol oh yes There are at least 35-40 % of Them. A specially in Christian family's, and very often in more rural areas, but also in cities. I believe, if they would be totally honest with you. ( what most men are not because of a "political correctness" that the society wants them to show ) .
I think it's still the secret dream of 40 percent of men to be the Provider of the Family. But politics and the feminist society wants it to be different. There's also the financial aspect that one man alone is often not able to pay everything alone.
My dad use to be the Provider for the family, with 7 kids in a patchwork family. We could afford almost everything even if he was a simple worker that never trained for a job.
My mom never had to work. Nowadays it's almost impossible to be the only working person in the household and be able to financ at least one kid.
So like I say its complicated.
As an Italian, I would like to have a similar relationship and that's the one I'm building with my boyfriend, but I wonder if my husband would agree to always provide for me financially. In Italy there is not a single man who wants an unemployed wife who only works as a mother, do german men want a woman like that?
@@AnnamariaLeprini that depends on a lot of factors. The most important is what does the woman want. Second factor is it financially possible. But I think yes if it is financially possible and the woman wants it, there would be a certain number of men who want this ✌
@@ClaudiaM-js6ol yes, many of us are traditional. We provide for our wives, but we want a feminine housewife who appreciates us
Which area or city is that ❤❤❤
One thing I heard about dating in Germany, among actual Germans that is, is that it's expected that the girl be the one to approach the man since it's accepted that women are the most finicky/choosy. To me this makes complete sense. Why should I approach the girl when statistics say there's only a 2% chance that she'd even be open to talking to me? Yet if any random girl approaches any guy, her chances are considerably higher. I also appreciate that there is less of a one-night-stand culture there. I know sexual conquests are very much glorified across the western world, but to me it seems like a waste of time. I find the idea of meeting someone with the aim of building a relationship without any predetermined obsolescence to be much more appealing. I've only gone out with three girls in my life, and the third I married 18 years ago.
No, I'm German and I can't confirm that it was expected that the girl approaches the man. In the vast majority of the cases, theman would approach the woman, because she is still too scared for rejection despite of being all emancipated.
im a german dude and i usually don´t flirt with a girl unless i really like her.
How do you flirt?
After watching your videos I'm definitely German.
Same, I think I finally found my crowd
I’m about to get stationed in Germany. Wish me luck with socializing 🤣
poor boy
1:28 My German Female co-worker....said that German Men have "NO GAME"...this is why it takes so long for the German men to make a move. Not sure how true that is.
As a German guy I can confirm that. I have no game
Don’t know what that mean
Was soll das heißen, bitte, was ist hier mit Spiel gemeint?
I think a lot of german guys are shy or keeping distance, because the german women are too rejecting. I don't wanna judge them but some of them doing this to stay more mysterious. Some of them are also too arrogant :)
Wenn man ein zweites mal Hallo sagt, fühlen sie sich belästigt, und die Hölle bricht im Kostüm der Staatsgewalt über einen herein. Deshalb sagt man besser überhaupt nie ohne Zeugen mit einer Frau. Zu gefährlich. Das klügste wäre, nichtmal eine Frau auch nur anzuschauen.
Exactly
I was watching your friendly, random interviews before I go to walking in the mornings. And those were really making my day and kind of motivated me more to immigrate to Germany even. Why did you just stopped bro. Please continue where you left of... ✌️
pls dont. thank you. i hear chinese woman are looking for wealthy men
Dating is nowhere easy...
I feel sorry for the guys. Especially if they dont have the necessary knowledge of the language. Mission impossible😂
As a foreigner ja its very difficult i live in Germany 8 years its impossible
That is not like here in Italy
Quote from a couple of german girls in my inner circle: "I hate being approached by guys, if we didn't have at least eye contact before. I just think it's rude." And when you then ask them how often they have/try to trigger eye contact with a guy the answer is "very rarely". I know, this goes not for everybody, but honestly we often don't have the best experiences when approaching german woman. And this is also the reason for the constant staring probably 😄
Funny... I'm a German but have lived abroad many years. To me, this concept sounds so alien now 👽 But, I remember similar attitudes. I hope those girls get out more 😅
Such a beautiful English ! Does anybody in Germany speaks English like they?
the "probably both" lady really understands us 🥲 10:48
Hi, I find the intro statement decisively correct when she says DATING is not existent. Has it occurred to you living in Germany that we do NOT have a dating culture like in Spain or the US. I think that is the biggest difference. By the way the AMERICAN girl in the blue blouse is a GERMAN.
She really sounds German
Of course you pick on the American
I'm foreigner too,why this guys don't learn the language where U living & working. Do not compare the guys with your Country or culture.
🎉🎉
I Guess I'm Germán.
9:36 For people of cultrure
🤣👏🤣👏🤣👏🤣
I screamed when I saw that!
I noticed that too when I was watching the video and I rewound the video 😂 I was like this 😯
I grew up here but tbh I gave up dating a german girls and I got tired of trying it so many times. They either mock you for your height or make fun of you. So I started to date french, italian and austrian girls. 😂
How tall are u?
@@alisbai4376 1.80 m 😂
@@kakeruleonhart7124 lol 1.80 and they mock u for ur height? Im 173😂😂.
@@kakeruleonhart7124 Damn. 1.80 is a giant in Asian countries hahaha
Please Change the Title: Dating as a Foreigner in Bavaria?
The experience is different for guys and girls, of course. You also see it with the dating apps such as tinder or bumble. As a guy, you seldom get a like. And even after you get a like doesn't mean at all that you will get an answer to your message. I've once read that those apps are more unfair than the unfairest economies. Just around 10% of the best-looking guys get over 80% of the likes. So get rid of these apps and play the game in real life!
That's the reality for most guys but women fail to empathize with it. If you are an average dude with an average income you'll probably have the saddest life on earth. Women don't suffer from the same issues, you can be basically a short whale with make up and yet 10 guys will DM you for a date or relationship.
@@m.h.4907 That's why you shouldn't use Tinder. Per definition also women look average on average. They won't get the top 10% of males. They might give them likes on the dating app but they won't succeed meeting them in real life. So you need to play the game in real life.
this is just not true, please inform yourself.
@@m.h.4907yes, as a girl you might have many DMs, but it doesn't mean a lot of men want to start a relationship with you.
@@m.h.4907Eine MARK??Wir haben seit 20 Jahren den Euro!
The only good thing to know is that almost all the internationals have the same feeling on the german society like I have 😂
great
Probably we should work on marketing!!! So accurate!