For more information and resources about eating disorders including ARFID, please visit www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/ Watch our full video on what it's like to live with an eating disorder: ruclips.net/video/v1TWvXwgKr0/видео.html
@@1sideaccountxo my autistic grandson has SEVERE eating disorder after being traumatized by ABA "therapy" and now wont eat. He chews and spits. How about you NOT be so nasty to people asking questions like John smith?!
When people ask me how or why I developed an eating disorder I use the exact same words..it's heartbreaking.. whenever I felt life falling apart all I could do was to control this one 'little' thing called food.. now I am finally getting some help and trying to enjoy life a little bit more...learning how to appreciate, love and respect yourself is hard work but I am hopeful. Take care everyone
What annoys me especially is when people say eating disorders are CAUSED because of unfair expectations on women, about being ‘thin’. That oversimplification is such an injustice. When it’s not even about that.
I remember going to my GP to finally get help for my bulimia and she said "you don't look like you have an eating disorder" "you look fine to me" when in reality I've had an eating disorder for 10 years and at the time of seeing her I was binging and purging ever day and sometimes up to 7 or so times a day every single day. You can't just look at someone and know they are sick. The medical system needs to be better educated in these matters
I feel your pain. 😥💔 A few years ago, I went to a doctor I had to see as part of the intake exam for therapy. He gave me a checkup and saw me a couple of times thereafter, looked at my weight status (which fluctuated by 5 lbs in either direction), and nonchalantly declared, "Weight stable. No eating disorder". 😱 Meanwhile, at that time, I'd been bulimic for nearly 30 years! I *hate* the ignorance that goes on with ED's, particularly when you don't look anorexic. You're definitely not taken seriously by the medical profession in the same way you'd be if you were emaciated. 😞 I hope you're doing well today, hon'. Sending you love and light. 😘♥️
@@jademusic1211 I have a similar story. When I think back on how long it's been...almost 15 years..it horrifies me. People would never know looking at me. I hear ya sister.
Same. I was 90-106 lbs at 5’3 which isn’t too underweight for like 20 yrs eating 400-600 calories a day plus weights and cardio and people just said wow you look amazing! Look at those abs! i had low blood pressure low body temperature and wore a sweater in Florida 🤦🏻♀️ doctors never said a word yet now that I’m over my bmi by a little after having a baby and recovering they are crawling all over me and sending me home w a sheet on how to lose weight every single visit. Perhaps I should speak up and tell them my 20+ yr battle w eating disorders of all sorts of types but I feel like they will just think I’m delusional or depressed or it’s an excuse for my current weight gain. Makes me wanna starve again to be honest but I have my son now and that’s more important then the stupid doctors opinions
Weight is one of the main thing that can help you differentiate bulimia from anorexia. Bulimic patients maintain or have normal weight since they binge eat then purge. On the other hand, anorexia less body weight because they restrict food and sometimes they purge.
"The more we restrict, the more likely we are to overeat. And the more we divide foods into good and bad, right and wrong, the more anxiety we're likely to have and the more distress and preoccupations we're likely to have with food and eating." PREACH.
If we don't separate food into good and bad then how do you separate eating healthy vs junk food. Junk food is obviously bad food. So idk I struggle with this so if it's not good vs bad then what is it?
@@WhippedCarpet good question. I think viewing food a bit more holistically is probably ideal, rather than the good/bad binary that creates a sense of anxiety. that is to say, asking "is this good for me?" is different from asking "what will the nutrients in this food do for my energy levels?"
I had an eating disorder since high school till I was about 25. I'm 36 now and let me tell you, the BEST thing for EDs is to not be around people who cause you stress, or be in stressful situations. Another thing is my son's dad taught me the real value of food - I saw him grow edible gardens everywhere we lived with love and care, and he taught me to basically respect my body more and to give it what it needs to thrive. SO a loving nurturing environment is NEEDED to facilitate healing. There are a lot of healing holistic centers everywhere that teach that health is love and vice versa. And get away from physical and emotional toxicity, no amount of therapy will work if you stay in toxic environments and relationships.
yeah, but people keep pushing ppl into toxic environments n relationships, which I've finally woken up from "oh they dont mean it like that, oh it'll get better" bullshit, especially reading bout healing and the only way to truly achieve that and become healthy is to outgrow unhealthiness, but that's all there is around here and ppl don't listen, it's fuqqing annoying. Therapists should know better yet they even pressure me to stay and try working out abusive relationships that literally harm me in the end, I literally harm myself, I've tried a million times to "work it out" and I'm only getting worse, I literally don't care about myself, now I even starve myself, I take my anger out on myself, I've given up on trying, wtf is wrong with ppl?! HOW IS THIS OKAY?! I don't understand how ppl say to get help, but the "pros" to get help from DONT FUQQIN HELP ??? They just dismiss it
I wish I could just walk away from food like an alcoholic can walk away from alcohol but I can't. This body requires me to eat daily and I have to face the ed everyday. It's damning.
@@anastasiageorge1279 that's wonderful you found it so helpful! Xx My comment was because of making blanket statements about separate foods is not healthy for ED in general especially dangerous for someone not in treatment. Obviously once in treatment and learning what works for you then it's fine.
Yes! Some are actually severely overweight. Usually the ones that are overweight have BED which is the most common eating disorder and many don’t realize they even have it, nor do their families
The episode she was on Vice for was regarding an individual who had an addiction to strictly eating Mac n cheese. He had an eating disorder but did not have an intention based around weight. This is the context I believe is missing in the video. If you see the other video it will make a lot more sense
Eating disorders are about control. We have no control anywhere else, so we control our diet. We’re not even realizing we’re doing it at first. It just becomes. Unless you experience it...you just don’t get it. We have to decide to get better for ourselves. No one can do it for us.
Yes, this! I overcame my disorder on my own because I knew no one else could help me in the way I could help myself. In my experience, you really have to work on yourself from the inside, start actually loving everything about yourself. It takes years and isn't easy but is worth it!
I wouldn't be so quick to generalize the whole "it's about control" thing as if people really even *always* know what they are doing or why they are doing it consciously.
I completely agree with this. It was ALL about control when I was struggling, and it's so freeing releasing the control and healing your relationship with food. I am sending you so much love on your journey to healing your relationship with food if you are currently on that journey
Today marks 30 days of abstinence for me from Compulsive Over Eating and Binge Eating Disorder. I am am in recovery and I am just praying for 30 more days. Having an eating disorder is excruciating and humiliating, and all I want is to get better.. to be normal. But in order to do that, I have no choice but to surrender and allow myself to just focus on today. Not next week, next month, next year; just today. And that’s how I’ll get through, one day (and one meal) at a time.
@@lostinthecosmos6095 I love you. I am 1 year and 3 years abstinent. Recovered. It was imperfect, it was monumental, It has been the most freeing time of my life. Thank you so much for asking. And to anyone else reading this that may need this message: it is possible. You can do it and the best thing I can share is that when the feelings come when the coping mechanism no longer exist to cover them up, is to just look straight into the pain and let it out. You get stronger along the way, and it gets easier to handle it. That is the most surprising gift.
@@Arlyneya that’s so great to hear and i’m so fucking proud of you!!!!!congratulations!! you deserve the world. 😊😊😊 i’ve been struggling with binge eating/overeating but i’m working on it now. your comment gives me hope and it motivates me. you have an amazing day, angel. sending much love🤍🤍🤍
As someone who had severe eating disorders for roughly 15 years but overcame it and has been healthy for almost 7 years now, I want to say that it’s possible to get through it and get better. If you’re suffering from eating disorders please don’t give up. You’ll get through it. 💜 Edit: 3 years since I made this comment, STILL HEALTHY and content with my body. Everyone, you can do it. I believe in you, and I promise, life is so much better. Take care ❤️
Hiya, firstly, I am incredibly proud of you for overcoming something so hard and keeping well for so long now, well done you are truly an inspiration!💗 (possible trigger warning) Secondly, I am currently doing an English language A level and the question I’ve chosen for course work is ‘does language on food products effect those who have or have had eating disorders?’ As I have never experienced an eating disorder myself I was wondering whether you could give me any insight on this? Of course I really do not want to ask anything that may offset you in your recovery so if you would prefer to stop reading this comment now then please do! But if you are happy to talk about this then I would be extremely grateful for a reply. I imagine it as if you were walking through the super market, is there anything (words in particular) that reminds you of your eating disorder or effects you in a negative or positive way? Thank you and again, you are amazing for what you have overcome!💛
@@rubybeatrice4323 Hi Ruby! Apologies for the late reply. If there's anything I can do to help spread awareness, I'd love to 🙂 I'm not from U.K. though, if that matters?
Question 1: What are some similarities between various types of eating disorders? 0:24 Q2: What are some misconceptions about eating disorders? 0:59 Q3: What is ARFID? 1:14 Q4: How does ARFID compare other eating disorders? 1:53 Q5: What role does trauma play in developing an eating disorder? 2:15 Q6: How can eating disorders be treating effectively? 2:49 Q7: What issues exist with access to treatment? 3:27 Q8: What role does society and culture play in perpetuating eating disorders? 4:00 Q9: How can I help a friend or family living with an eating disorder? 4:27 Q10: ???!!! (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ 5:13
I remember being 11 and 12 years old and developing anorexia. I was bullied by a large group of girls at the new school I attended every single day. I was in a fight basically every day for the entire time I went to that school... I wouldnt eat at lunch, I didnt care about eating breakfast, and I chose not to eat supper because what was the point? I had no appetite whatsoever. I distinctly remember my teacher reading us a book about a girl who had an eating disorder. I took that book home and used it as a tool on how to better "control" my eating disorder. I used it as a way to learn how to keep my eating disorder a secret, how to lose more weight, and what to do about food I didn't want to eat... Finally, my family had decided to move and I was placed in a different school. My new friends had began noticing how I never ate and how skinny I was getting... and they voiced their concern. That's when I finally began allowing myself to eat a little bit. Eventually, I began eating more often and finally I began gaining a healthy amount of weight... But all in all, trauma DOES create eating disorders. The trauma of the racism and being bullied had made me anorexic. Please, teach your children to love others and to embrace peoples differences so this doesnt happen to anyone else. Thank you.
Ooh my goodness you story sounds very similar to my daughter although she eats ice which is called Pagophagia. She doesn’t want to eat breakfast or evening meals, although when she’s not eating the ice she enjoys her food. She started maybe 3 years ago like age 9 she moved to a new school when we moved to the city and she was so excited because the school before that she was bullied. Yet the new school she struggled to fit in and developed anxiety. Then during the lock downs it was the transition to high school (which is a challenge for many children I know) but it I kept an eye on it. Then it really ramped up when we moved to a bigger home about 10 months ago. Now she hides when she’s eating the ice, I believe the anxiety drives this, I have asked her why she hides and why she believes she does this at all and she talks about issues with friends at school emotional issues she has with her dad, and how she struggles to deal with them and she finds herself eating ice, but what I don’t understand is why she is hiding it. I’m monitoring it but I don’t want her to have a life filled with an eating disorder.
You story is encouraging tho, I will show her so she can read it. Ultimately it’s important to deal with the root causes but yet to see an encouraging testimony helps also.
@@helenabolo-luca9377 wow, i know my problem isn't the case with all ice-eaters, but i began eating so much ice several years ago, and my daughter told me it might be a sign of anemia. i laughed and said, no way am i anemic. but then my heart started bothering me so i had to see a doctor, and boy was i ever anemic, so anemic!
I feel like I can’t say that I ever had an eating disorder because I was never diagnosed and was never underweight :/ I lost my period, was extremely obsessed with food and restriction, built up so much anxiety around what I ate, etc. still haven’t gotten over some of these things :(
my heart goes out to you ❤️ i have the same exact thoughts...i feel that the only way i can get help is by being underweight, and i’m too scared of my parents not believing me if i tell them.
everything you listed is indicative of very disordered eating, AND at the same time not having a diagnosis doesn’t make the struggle or disorder any less valid! the healing process is long and annoying, but just the fact that you’re speaking about it in the past tense shows you’ve made a lot of progress already which is so encouraging! it will take time and effort to push through it all and heal yourself from the leftover habits- ultimately it will happen though😌 (coming from someone 5 years recovered from anorexia, with some occasional lingering patterns of thinking, but overall a very healthy relationship with eating and exercise)
I'm fat and mostly bullied for being an Overweight. I weigh 60kg and felt bad i have a really bad affection in food i panic when i intake a lots of calories a days so ended up vomiting it's really suck.
When she mentioned about the sensing for belonging and a place to fit in, that hit so deep. Since I could remember I’ve always been bigger, both taller and heavier, than my contemporaries and I always felt out of place.
The therapy for eating disorders I experienced was all body related which actually made things worse. It‘s nice to know there are therapists out there who treat the cause instead of the symptoms.
I went to a psychologist who specialized in eating disorders. She referred me to a dietician and they worked together. The psychologist dealt with showing me how my anorexia was tied into my feelings of lack of control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, etc. While the dietician focused on the reintroducing food and teaching me about the damage lack of food was doing to my body. She managed my food diary and my psychologist focused on triggers. It was successful in teaching me the patterns of the disorder. I hope you're doing better.
I developed disordered eating around age 15 thanks to my narcissistic, evangelical mom. I'm now 41 and I still struggle with food, body image, self-loathing, all that crap. THANKSMOM.
@@AA-wc3tw There’s a great book called “Personality isn’t Permanent”. It has a section on moving on from trauma. It’s helped me a ton. I highly recommend it. Best wishes….
For me, when I feel like shit in my life is getting out of control, the “ED” makes me feel as though it’s the one thing I CAN control. Trauma is definitely a key role that triggered it from the beginning. 😞
My best advice is to 1. Stick to your meal plan 2. Follow up with your doctor 3. ED programs are always there. I was in & out of the hospital throughout my 20s & 30s. Every time I learned something new.
I'm so glad she mentioned ARFID. I'm one of those males she mentions; the kind who used to hide in shame, not knowing I was struggling with a diagnosable and treatable eating disorder. It's a little frustrating when I read a pamphlet or a poster about eating disorders and ARFID isn't mentioned. I only learned about ARFID (called Selective Eating Disorder at the time) at least a decade of struggle. A specialist noticed my behavior in a public setting and informed me in private. I'm still struggling but there is a noticeable improvement; progress I might not have had if it wasn't for that coincidence. Without awareness and treatment, I might have avoided more trips and social events just because of the food. If you suspect someone you know is struggling with ARFID please let them know about it. It was a huge relief for me to learn about this disorder; that I wasn't just "picky", that my anxiety in front of food was real and that there are other people like me. You'll be a hero to anyone by bringing this to light for them.
Thank you so much @@Suna-nb6vd for sharing. Your story is so relatable. Like you, I learned about the disorder ~19. Like you, I seem to have struggled with it my whole life. Only my parents can recall the times, younger than 3 years old, when I wasn't as "picky" (a label that I despise btw). Like you, I blamed myself; I didn't think it was more challenging for me, I only thought what people told me: that I was weak. My parents treated me in a similar way. One time my dad forced me to eat until I puked and then forced me to finish eating; all this happened in front of his parents, siblings and their children. Eventually, they also gave up on trying to change their child (me). From the post you replied to, you can probably tell how much of a relief it was for me to learn about ARFID too. Obviously, it was a relief for me to move out and eat wtv I want as well. You don't "have" to change. Just know that we have IS a medical condition (In the DSM-5); there are therapists and support groups out there. Personally, I didn't really seek therapy until I was ~23. Before that, I just wanted to focus on my studies and "healthy" food was expensive anyway. Even then, trying to change has been on and off. Sometimes, I relapse into old behaviors. However, overall there are signs of progress and paths have been laid for whenever I want to try again. Try and try again. Just doing it at my own pace. My therapist is a super nice woman. I can't predict the future nor can I read your mind but, to me, it feels like your ambition for that career and wholesome motherhood could outweigh your fear of the "treatments". It wouldn't hurt to just get a consultation to address questions like "Should I do it?" and "Am I ready?". Whatever pleases you (not your parents) in the long run. Take care Alisha
If someone needs hope, my big sister's friend had really bad anorexia and bulimia that even the doctors said that she probably won't ever be healthy or recover. Nowadays she is healthy and happy, saw a post of her where she has strong legs and is smiling after just running a marathon. Never give up hope, that is the most important fight with mental ilnesses.
She mentioned ARFID!! I've had it since I was a little child and never knew what it was until last year, because no food therapist I ever talked to even knew what it was. They thought I was anorexic because I only ate certain things, but I never wanted to be thin (rather the opposite, I was always uncomfortable in my very thin/petite body). Then it was binge eating, because I would only certain foods but because I could 'only eat' certain foods, I would eat large amounts of them. Now I finally know what it is and I can do a lot of self-imposed food therapy to help myself like more foods.
for me it was about control, feeling unloveable and all of those things - absolutely. I'm so grateful to the people in my life who supported me when I was at my worst.
I'm sitting in an ER hospital bed waiting for admission to a mental health clinic. I spent the last 20 years of my life confused and in pain, not understanding why eating hurt and not understanding why I hated myself. I watched my world, my life, my family and my love fall apart around me, but because I was just so young when it started, it never really felt like an issue. And I... I just woke up. Got to the ER with Opioid-like withdrawal symptoms because of abusing the medical system to avoid taking medications for my growing psychosis. I went inpatient for two weeks at a high BMI for EDNOS, and got immediately discharged for a lack of change in weight and vitals. As if I could just eat and be healthy. I liked pretending like that. It didn't hurt when I pretended like that. Eventually, I just... broke. I was exhausted, starving. I didn't know why I couldn't eat. I was so hungry, and I just wanted to be alone. My boyfriend didn't understand. How could he? No one had even known I'd been drugged against my will. I was locked in my body. Forever awake. I just hope my family can forgive me.
I have ARFID and it honestly feels like it runs my whole life. I’m so thankful for these videos bringing awareness to a disorder that isn’t taken seriously enough, in my opinion.
Same, but even these videos don't always help. I wish someone would just knock those kind of idiots with a book about AFRID, maybe it will give them some compassion and make them mock and judge you less.
@@horroradorer I got free from the things that were driving me to be so obsessive. For me the solution wasn’t food focused at all. Even therapy had its limits for me. But when I went deeper and addressed the underlying issues that were keeping me stuck in addiction and obsession, my addictions and obsessions went away.
I spent nearly 4 years in therapy for bulimia and I’ve never fully recovered but can manage it. Don’t think my relationship with food will ever be normal.
rachkate same here- it’s been just over four years that I was at my lowest point (and weight) with anorexia. my “recovery” was pretty much just physical in that I was force-fed food deemed worthy by a nutritionist and that I attended weekly visits to a psychologist for a couple months (although it felt more like an interrogation to decipher my illness than therapy). I wouldn’t even care about my weight if I just had the chance to live a life where I don’t constantly think about food and whether or not the amount that’s in me is too much or too little...
It's cool that this popped up today! I have a friend who recently enrolled in getting treatment and this helps me understand my boundaries when speaking about her eating disorder. Also gave me a lot more empathy. Thanks for making this, Vice!
I recently found out I have ARFID and it’s honestly comforting? Like this is something I struggled with a lot and it’s nice to know there’s a word for it and I can get help for it :(
Same bro, I thought I had anorexia but apparently that’s when you feel the need to keep your weight as low as possible but this has nothing to do with my weight, my mum says I’ve always been a “picky eater” but now I think it’s more than that.
same throughout my childhood i went to so many doctors and they all basically said itll go away when i get older but it never did and then 3 years ago we found a therapist and she diagnosed me with ARFID and like you said its just nice to know that theres actually smth to describe it
I've had an eating disorder since I was 12 years old. It's a constant battle I'm trying to overcome. My therapist has told me it was something I developed to cope with the inconsistencies in my life at a young age. Choosing not to eat was the only thing I had control over.
yes, disorders from diet, i had them as well, i found out i am allergic to the world if i eat carbs, some sugars (ice cream mostly) act the same way. you will never know for sure if you do not look at what establishes brain power energy. Ketones, ketosis, eating meat is better for animals than growing crops, keto mojo - which i currently do not have, but i can listen to my second brain, the belly. if your brain is healthy, your body can follow suit and make your muscles strong. saute some onions in butter & add hamburger to the mix is one of the best ways to eat a stick of butter a day. keep an open mind & know that when you eat saturated fats or butter & good olive, coconut, or avocado oil that you will lose weight but gain muscle & mental clarity. hope this helps you to be at your best optimal physiology, which is how the universe designed us or put us together.
@@zzcaptainmastiv2727 You spouting your ideology has nothing whatsoever to do with what this person said regarding eating disorders. 🙄 Take your beliefs to a keto diet forum where they belong. You and your ignorance are in the wrong comment section.
It's crazy how easily you can develop one. I'm 21 now and I lost my mom when I was young, immediately after I started restricted my food which then developed into bingeing, my body suffered through alot It's breaks my heart how I wasted my teenage years to this and being obsessed with my weight
I was quite skinny to the point my mother was embarrassed of me . I was forced to eat massive amounts of food by my parents in order to keep living at home. My mother encouraged binge eating and I would eat boxes of cereal in front of her where she would yell at me to get bigger . She would say " YOU EAT IT , YOU WEAR IT OR YOUR NOT LIVING AT HOME ANYMORE" . I would end up on the floor , crying and in pain where she would tell me I'm stupid for eating to the point of sickness. That really fucked me up . My binges got worse, she told me all she wanted was for me to gain weight , then yet again she would yell at me for the massive amounts consumed despite her encouraging it. Now .... I'm 35 kg higher , but I'm suicidal and the binges still haven't stopped . This started 2 years ago. It's been hell . It was honestly traumatic.
How are you doing now? I hope you are feeling better. It sounds as though your home is not a place where you can get better. Are there people around you or people you know who are loving and patient with you, who you can trust?
I am one of those who binges food and gains 50 lbs to then starving myself losing 50 lbs. I've been this way all my life and it has taught me to just accept how I am. It is what it is.
"The person is actually looking for a sense of belonging, a connection or feeling loved, feeling valuable, feeling safe or secure" These words were an eye opener to me.
for me, the hunger pains feel familiar, they feel grounding, they feel like something to hold onto, when everything else is completely out of my own control. They make me feel strong, somehow..
Same here. :( I don't know what to do, I reject all kind of food. I have been hungry all my life. The feeling of satiation is just weird. My "normal" is being empty and and weak.
I wish I could deal with the hunger pains. I feed the pain, which has lead to being obese. I went from being anorexic/bulimic to now obese. When I was anorexic I felt in control. Now, I feel like I have absolutely no control.
I remember the rush at my hardest point, the rush of it all and the control was so thrilling. It made me feel okay because it is the only thing I’m in control. I know it’s not healthy, but it’s so so hard to stop
I'm very glad that she mentioned men having eating disorders. As a male with one it's nice to hear people talking about it because guys having eating disorders isn't discussed often
I have ARFID. My mom said I didn't transition well to solid food when I was a kid, and I've had a preference for liquids my entire life. For me, eating (as well as obtaining food, cooking, dishes, etc) take a lot of energy (I also have fibromyalgia), I have sensory issues, and I don't have a strong appetite. 10 years ago I was severely underweight, and I was eating all high calorie foods like peanut butter m&ms and whole chocolate milk to get as many calories as I could. I've gotten a lot better; I reached and have maintained a healthy weight for the past 6 years by taking a med to increase my appetite, using disposable cutlery to minimize energy required for dishes, eating on a schedule, and always keeping some easy to consume food within arm's reach. I also got away from my toxic family. I had tried for a few years to force myself to eat, but that often resulted in gagging so I eventually realized that that wasn't a helpful tactic for me. 90% of my diet is still meal replacement drinks, but I'm doing pretty well and I'm slowly introducing more solid food into my diet.
i cried reading the comments. good to know not just me facing the similar situation. i feel like a failure every time i decide to eat. my pattern is that i fast for few days and binge eating for a meal(i won't stop until my stomach aches or feeling the food being piled up to my throat). it seems so easy and like it's your responsibility to have regular and normal-sized meal, not having health problem (but you have to look skinny so people will believe that you're healthy) i am petite, 2 kg overweight, bit high body fat rate. i have bigger ribs, bigger pelvis, fat ankle. although i have the so-called hourglass body but people around me don't appreciate it at all. everytime i wear baggy clothes or layer up my clothes, i almost like sin to them. they think it's okay to blame my loving for food, to shame my body. turns out i am super insecure about my body now, i don't want anyone to look at my body, talk about my body, even a compliment is stressful to me. i just can't love my body even though i tell myself to embrace, be confident... it just doesn't feel right. i am also insecure about me eating being seen by others, i feel like my own room is the only place safe. i am so afraid eating with or in front of people, i wish i can be all alone the entire life. that's the only way i feel free and enjoyable. i made up my mind for a few times to just eat what i love, don't care about being fat or thin, screw those people, and i wished human didn't have eyes to watch and mouth to say mean words. but i've always lost to the public aesthetics and started to be anxious about food and my body. i am so worried about choosing to have strict diet for my whole life or to practice intuitive eating step by step. it's hard because once i start to eat, i want to eat a lot, if i'm not allowed to eat a lot, i rather not to eat. but when i eat a lot, i feel guilty and shameful, i will keep punishing myself for wasting money and the possibility of growing fat. but when i have strict diet, i feel like there's nothing worth pursuing in the world. anyway, great video, i will watch it every day to remind and understand myself more.
I developed an eating disorder when I moved to a new country at the age of 15. I never realized it was an eating disorder and now, at the age of 26, I realize it all stemmed from "wanting control over one aspect of my life", It was never about food, tbh. Now I'm at a healthy weight, I exercise but I'm still fighting the urge to "just not eat" when I'm very stressed. It's a journey
As someone with anorexia, I couldn’t really relate to the comment that anyone with an eating disorder doesn’t want to have a disorder/doesn’t like it. I mean yes, I don’t want my behavior to be considered “disordered” but the reason recovery is so difficult (for me) is because engaging in the behaviors I do feels GOOD. It feels right. Society is not kind to fat people & views them as lazy, undisciplined, slovenly, parasitic, gross, etc. So if I am the opposite of fat then I am also the opposite of all of the negative attributes that are associated with fat people. I feel powerful & disciplined & even receive positive feedback from others regarding my looks & they say they admire my willpower & (thus) my ability to delay gratification. That validation for something that I’m already feeling good about just magnifies the emotion. Add to this that Most of the US is overweight so it then reinforces that my eating habits & subsequent physique are not easy to achieve or maintain, which makes me feel even better, like the commitment & self control that top athletes or models have. I do not feel tormented by my obsessive thoughts about food or my weight (and they ARE obsessive, I’m not denying that), in fact, the repetition & rituals feel almost like a religious experience. It feels “right” & I feel whole; It’s a nearly euphoric experience when I meet my goals which is why recovery will always be difficult. I have very little incentive to seek it. For those that may comment about the possible negative consequences I may experience, well, many of them can be mitigated or avoided all together. You can be proactive about getting vitamins & nutrients with supplements & smart food choices, while still keeping your calories low. Cold? I just Dress warmer & make sure i am consistently keeping my circulation good by getting enough iron, staying hydrated & keeping my body moving. Any hunger I feel now has a positive association because it’s evidence of my “success” & determination. It’s like some kinda Pavlovian response lol Ngl, “walking the line” of being thin vs taking things too far is also kinda part of the thrill. By doing things “just right” it increases my feelings of power & self control because I am able to balance it just so; it makes me feel even more perfect. It’s like a high EDIT: 1) I wanted to clarify that I am NOT saying that people shouldn’t seek recovery because I think the negative consequences can be avoided. I was simply giving insight on how I personally have tried to be proactive about some potential negative “side effects” so to speak 2) i was also not trying to imply that I’ve had 0 negative consequences from my ED, because that isn’t true. Nor was I trying trying to give the impression that you can have an ED & be healthy if you just “do it right”. That simply isn’t true either. 3) I was also not trying to assert that ALL people with anorexia/EDs feel the way I do about mine. Many ARE tormented by their thoughts & behaviors and wish they could stop or rid themselves of their ED. (Although at some point along the way I believe that ALL people with any ED enjoyed SOME aspect of it, or they wouldn’t have developed it in the first place. It is, after all, an unhealthy attempt at coping, therefore the behaviors are alleviating or assuaging something... just not necessarily successfully or for very long) Overall, I was just trying to describe my own personal experience and provide insight to others that not all EDs look the same, not even all of one type of ED looks the same (like anorexia for example). So maybe my description could help someone understand how it’s possible someone could not be receptive to intervention & even “enjoy” their ED behaviors.
Please stop! Your comment is Pro Ana and deeply triggering and dangerous to people who are trying to recover. As you have an ED yourself, you are in no position professionally to give medical advice. Please do not post such things online, you are encouraging people to self harm. I truly hope there are people who can be with you to get you through this. By your comment I can tell that this is already hurting yourself. I'm sure you don't mean to hurt others. Be well.
The scary thing about eating disorders is that you can't even tell when it's happening until other people start pointing it out. It just feels natural and safe until you have a moment of realisation that this is not sustainable
After recovering from polydrug addiction, I can now see the similarities between drug addiction and eating disorders.. I've never had any issues with food until after I changed my brain with substance abuse, there are major similarities.. Plain old sugar can target the same receptors as cocaine, amphetamine, even opiates.. I crave it, binge on it and then feel the comedown. It's uncanny. Recovering addicts need to watch out.
Greggy D when I had an ed I would constantly think of it as a kind of addiction (although I always felt terrible thinking of it in that way given that “addiction” is a term mainly used for drugs and alcohol). in reality, I truly was addicted to depriving my body of food- I got an adrenaline rush every single time I remembered that I was working towards (and sadly accomplishing) a weight loss goal by refusing to eat. the thought of anything disrupting my carefully chosen meals or schedules would send my brain and body into a frenzy... and when I was eventually force-fed for months, my head and thoughts were sent into chaos and depression since I was previously convinced that depriving myself of food was the only way to achieve that dopamine and adrenaline. scary stuff...
I understand your thought process but your conclusion is not correct. Your brain runs off Glucose- aka sugar. Sugar from fruits, veg, and whole grains. NOT cake, cookies, chips.... don’t get it twisted. Good sugars are absolutely necessary for proper brain function. Especially if you’re trying to heal.
This video hit me like a wrecking ball!! I developed ptsd in 2016 but also developed Arfid along side it! It's hard finding detailed videos about arfid so I truly thank you!! This is the first time Iv heard someone link trauma to eating disorders in this way and you've hit the bull's-eye! The way you've described the feelings we experience is soo accurate! You are a blessing to soo many
I love that she mentioned males with eating disorders or disordered eating. We DEFINITELY need to help everyone get access to help. Guys, girls, rich, and poor.
For me my ed was about control bc my religious family was super controlling about everything in my life. From the way i dressed to who i was allowed to talk to. I developed it at the age of 12 and im 25 now. When i moved out i started to eat normally without me even thinking about it. Sometimes i find myself restricting again but its way better now. I hope one day im 100% better. Remember to treat your body kindly is something i tell myself when im struggling. I hope everyone who struggles with an ed is able to be free of it.💕
Hello reader, I would just like to reassure you that no matter how hard it is to stop your eating disorder, it will eventually go away. I had been binge eating and purging for 6 years since I was 16 but I got through it. I thought I will die one day because of it and I would never recover but I did! I have ptsd from my childhood and had body image disorder and depression since i was very young . I started doing my own research and got to know more healing and learned abt nutrition eating and exercise and I’ve never been happier one day I just stopped feeling bad no matter if I over ate and still to this day I am at a healthy weight sometimes the scale goes up sometimes down but I don’t care about it anymore what matters is I am happy eating and not having to feel guilty and anxious
Narcissistic abuse makes me depressed & overeat, & then as a result, the abusive narcs condemn me & call me "greedy", which makes me even more depressed, & then eating even MORE!
I have BPD,C-PTSD, and eating disorder.and when i was suffering with bulimia,my mother and a certain psychiatrist often said to me,"i'm ashamed of you!!"and then she always screamed at me. now, i cannot eat with someone . i hide, and eat all alone. the words they said to me still echo me.....forever.
I had an eating disorder after I was beat up by my ex and left him because it shocked me and my self esteem was so low. I was losing 1-2 pounds a day and I remember my aunt cooked me this really good meal and I had one bite and felt so sick. I started working on my eating disorder and haven’t been back. 5/6 years ago.
Hi! To be honest I was on the verge of succumbing to my inner voice but here's my story, I was very much aware of the fact that there are eating disorders and I might experience it, I didn't really care much or I'm sure I wouldn't have an eating disorder. But then one day my auntie commented "You seem to be putting on weight" and that is where it went down I started restricting then feeling good but then I'd overeat on the weekends, I never wanted that, I was just on an endless cycle of restricting and binging, I know that the weight that I put on can possibly be just water retention but I would always think "I still put on weight" that's just a toxic mindset, gaining weight is inevitable, I never wanted to think like that I never wanted to have that toxic mentality, I just wanted to look good. Before it even gets worse I pushed myself to get out of that cycle. I know that I might've gain weight but I know that it's only water retention and It will go away I pushed myself to have a better mentality and If I were to want to lose weight I'd do it with positive thoughts and do it the healthy way. Please always be considerate to what you say to others, Just a few words can shatter someone's life and progress. Love your body for what it does not on how it looks like 💛
The accuracy and compassion of this analysis (in my experience and perspective) seems very much on par with that of Louise Hay. In her book 'Heal Your Body', she summarises the causation of anorexia as "Denying the self life. Extreme fear, self-hatred and rejection", and bulimia as "Hopeless terror. A frantic stuffing and purging of self-hatred". Both summations certainly ring true for me. My anorexia developed at age 14. This came to overlap with and include bulimia - and later, overlap with and include cigarette smoking and alcohol abuse. I recall having a clear sense of my panic and distress manifesting in my flesh: that is, the stronger my emotions, the fatter my body felt - whilst losing the weight somehow helped to lessen what was 'bad' about me. Similarly - and with the same inevitability that speed results in collisions.- my bulimic acts of bingeing and purging were propelled by overwhelming emotional despair. In my 30+ years of living this way, I have consulted with more than 10 medical 'professionals' (including three psychiatrists), and experienced two hospital stays - all to very little avail. Which to this day leaves me angry. I get, absolutely, that eating disorders are incredibly difficult to make sense of from the outside. I do understand that. However, when a medical professional voluntarily declares (or, fails to protest) their 'expertise' in this field - well then a greater onus arguably rests upon said 'expert'. And as one who has been filled with fear and panic for so long, I think I feel betrayed by these people. In conclusion: the analysis presented in the video above is, in my experience, unusually accurate and compassionate.
I use food as a coping mechanism, like when I make a meal I feel hopefull and its like a physical manifestation of me taking care of myself/treating myself. Without it being tiresome or painful. Then when I eat, I start to think about my problems when I am not currently eating, so I stuff myself. To the point of discomfort so that I can think about something else other then the real problem. Then I blast music and read til a fall a sleep.
Thank you for this.. There is a HUGE PROBLEM with access to treatment. HUGE. I spent a lot of time researching eating disorder centers and grants or sponsorships and i can tell you there is nothing. Treatment can cost from 800 to 1000's of $$ a day which no one can afford. Its insane.
Because of the ol virus, I haven’t been able to see my nutritionist or therapist (you need licenses or permits or something to have online sessions) and as someone with a mild eating disorder, it has been really difficult to cope without support. My god this video is exactly what I needed. Thank you vice.
There are options 💜 like OA has virtual meetings for example. Maybe you can find other programs or therapy options that offer online meetings that work for you. Good luck friend! I see you.
Wow she really is a professional I have eating disorder and she did mentioned every single problem that I have including specially the part when she said there is a lot of hiding when someone has an eating disorder
Person with ARFID here, wanted to chime in that ARFID is common with Autism (I am autistic). I have poor interoception which means I often can't tell that I'm hungry or thirsty, and so I chronically undereat. I don't like it when I lose weight from this and I try really hard to eat enough but I just don't feel hunger. I have to use fatigue to identify hunger or thirst ("Why do I feel tired? Hm, maybe eat or drink something."). Some researchers think up to 1 in 4 people with certain eating disorders have comorbid Autism as well, that is diagnosed or not diagnosed. I also struggle because my autism results in texture hypersensitivity, so sometimes I can't eat something because the thought of it gives me deep nausea and anxiety where I don't want the food to touch me. This leads to eating a lot of the same foods over and over, which also led to weight loss because I was eating but my calories weren't nutrient dense since I was just having smoothies 2-3 times a day and then maybe one standard meal. Wanted to share this because sometimes people have an ED because they have autism (or ADHD! Where this is common as well) and so my body will literally not want a lot of foods and I have to work hard to vary my diet and keep my thirst and hunger levels normal. I have been trying to add more color to my plate and do meal planning to help. If you have ARFID and are not diagnosed with Autism or ADHD you might be interested in looking into it!
Thissss. I went thru 6 years of treatment for ARFID and autism was not mentioned once!! But I in fact am autistic and adhd, and have since been diagnosed. Knowing back then that I was autistic would’ve really helped me understand my life and sensory problems (beyond just food) that led to the end of my long term relationship, quitting jobs… But also maybe even if I had been told I may be autistic I might’ve denied it due to being traumatized by other autistic kids in elementary school. But I do think that autism and adhd should be flagged whether someone is diagnosed with an ED. IMO eating disorders are just a symptom or side effect of a deeper problem (like trauma, neurodivergence, etc). Like saying a fever or sneezing is a diagnosis and not looking for a deeper cause. But also in my experience ED treatment centers are incredibly uncomfortable addressing any comorbid conditions… which I is damaging to patients.
It sure would be nice to have a 3 person treatment team like she describes. I’m sure the average person can’t afford that. I had to overcome bulimia by myself :(
ZIggy Darling thank you ❤️. It wasn’t easy and I don’t know if I’ve fully healed but I just dedicated myself to it and kept picking myself up every time I fell back into bad habits.
You are a rock star, honey. Congratulations. 😘♥️ I'm still struggling with my ED for nearly 37 years. I can't imagine never having it, and I don't know how I'd ever conquer it alone. You are amazing. 😍♥️♥️♥️
I had an ED that resulted from the trauma of an abusive relationship. I was losing one pound a day and disappointed if I didn’t. But then my aunt made my favourite meal and I couldn’t even eat it without feel the sickest I have. After that I tried to work on it and haven’t gone back.
Great video! I wish we could bring more awareness to compulsive eating, binge eating and regularly overeating until you don’t feel good. People tend to focus on restricted selective eating, binging and purging.
I’ve been struggling with bulimia for over 10 years, I’ve talked with my doctor about it and she recommended going vegetarian, I still get to control my eating, but I’m also eating. I had a relapse this week and it’s really hard. I feel constantly alone and it frustrates me. It really hurts and I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy. To anyone else struggling, I’m rooting for you, you’re not alone, and you are valid!
I’ve been suffering from ARFID for awhile now. I never realised there was a term for this type of eating disorder. I always thought “I don’t starve myself. I don’t binge regularly so that’s not an eating disorder” But I seriously do have an issue with eating, it’s turning into OCD or starving myself when I indulge in sweet or carbs (even if it’s just one cookie) or I overeat then spew up☹️
That depends, is it on purpose or coincidental? If its on purpose then I would suggest talking to someone about it, it's worth figuring out why. And you are worth the effort to get better.
Are you self conscience about how you look when you eat? Or that others will judge you for what you eat and don’t eat? Or the amount? I know I eat faster when alone. It is something I try to be aware of and try to slow down my eating.
This is a very old comment but my input might still be helpful to you, or maybe to someone scrolling down the comments and struggling with the same problem. From the little symptoms you described, this sounds like BED, or Binge Eating Disorder. This eating disorder usually manifests in overeating episodes, where the person will eat large amounts of food : usually enough food for a whole day, consumed in a short amount of time. It is also extremely common for people suffering from BED to try and hide their binges from others, even from people they trust & feel comfortable with like friends or family. Symptoms may vary wildly, both in intensity and in nature. The main symptom for BED however is overfeeding in a short amount of time. If you're experiencing that symptom, i would urge you to try & inform yourself on the disease, as well as find a therapist specialised in EDs, if thats a possibility BED is thought to be the most common eating disorder in the western world, affecting women as well as men... and yet most of those people dont even know they are suffering from an ED.
So glad you made this video! This topic is so so important. I really resonated when she talked about awareness. I'm 34, and I had no idea that I suffer from an eating disorder until I was 33!
Years ago when i abstained from lunch, snacks and dinner and only ate sugar cookies to have some sort of energy source, it was better to feel nauseating hunger than the shame and guilt causing it. To me it was a substitute for a more tolerable pain i can think of more rather than what happened to me.
In my personal experience with eating disorders…I’ve found that eating disorders are fueled by excessive guilt. Guilt from other people’s comments, from self perceptions, from not looking like we think we should, from thinking we are fat, from overeating, from feeling a lack of control…..this guilt also fosters low self esteem. Guilt removes self worth and contentment. The eating disorder is an attempt to fix some of what makes us feel guilty. I had other OCD behaviors along with anorexia and Bulimea.. just trying to be perfect in the way I looked and the things I did. That was 40 years ago….. a few weeks ago, my son said …Mom, you live as if everything has to be black and white….its either perfect (white) or a big failure (black). He said, I’ve learned that life is in the grey area…when you can live in the grey area you will be content. He said that because I’m still OCD about some things. So I was amazed at his well thought out words! He is right! We have to live with our imperfect selves. Without the guilt of missing the mark. And give that same to others. . Excessive guilt over how others see our selves or our yards is useless. Im loving that concept of living in the grey zone. That is where we ALL live now and it’s a live and let live place. Even for the person in the mirror!
I got diagnosed by my gp yesterday for selective eating disorders. And the first thing i said but I don’t look like I have a eating disorder but as he spoke more and the more I researched the more I realised how my trauma is affecting me still even when I thought it wasn’t anymore.
I had some sort of restrictive eating disorder as a control mechanism before I was diagnosed with PTSD. It was a coping mechanism to regain some control in my life. There was no drive to being thin, even though I lost weight. I made sure I had the right amount of vitamins and minerals per day, with the minimal amount of calorie intake. It was a way I could have absolute control over something at a time when I felt I’d lost all control over everything else in my life. My minimum was 500kcal/day, because I knew I needed at least that much to function, and to take in all the nutrients I needed. My maximum allowed was 1000kcal/day. When I got treatment for my PTSD, my ED symptoms slowly melted away. Because it felt normal to me, I never told my psychologist or psychiatrist about my ED symptoms. I feel very lucky they mostly went away despite that. From time to time, when I get stressed out, I find myself obsessing over food and restricting kcal, but the instances are now few and far between. Therapy works. Treatment works. You just have to find the right one for you. Sadly, there’s no one-size-fits-all treatment.
just an fyi to anyone - not all people eating disorders are THIN !! i’m rlly tired of people saying “you don’t look like you have an eating disorder” when it’s about your mental struggle with food and not all about weight.
I just got diagnosed with ARFID over a month ago, been suffering with it for a couple of years now though. Finally getting therapy for it. I’m so glad it was mentioned in this video since people never talk about it when they talk about eating disorders!
I had terrible childhood with an alcoholic father. Eating was my coping mechanism to make me feel better. Became extremely overweight and was Damm near obese and decided to eat better and more importantly address psychosomatic issues and I loss 125+ lbs and kept it off. My advice is get help don't suffer alone
I look forward to the time when all sickness will done away with. "And no resident will say: “I am sick.” The people dwelling in the land will be pardoned for their error." Isa 33:24
When I was 15 in 2002 my mom sent me to a therapist. I had lost 40lbs in 2months. I didn't know the "therapist" was actually my mothers friend from church. She asked me why I thought I was there on my 1st visit and I said my mother thinks I'm anorexic. She laughed at me and said, "Well you're not thin enough to be anorexic." I never forgot it and after about 5 months I figured out she wasn't a real therapist bc all my conversations were used against me by my mom and I finally heard her talking to the lady on the phone. The next session my mother went in with me and began telling the "therapist" that I was a disrespectful child with defiant opposition disorder bc I won't brush my hair the way she taught me. I told them that I was finished with therapy and they are absolutely nuts if they think me choosing to do something in a different way was disobedient and disrespectful and you may make me come sure but I won't say another word bc I know you're telling my mother what we talk about and it's wrong. She never took me to another "session" again and when I bring it up she acts like it never happened and says it's not in my medical records so I'm obviously lying. Can you see why I lost so much weight so quickly?
I have anorexia but not because I think I'm fat. It's my form of control when my life is stressful (stressful relationship, dad dying etc). I don't want to do it anymore because I look ghastly, but I've done it for so long that I now don't have an appetite anymore and I don't know how to make it come back.
I think a lot of times the first thing that starts disordered eating is going on a diet....any diet....any diet that says you can't have something, whether it be a whole food group, or an ingredient, etc....then of course you want it....or those diets that say you have to eat a certain way except 1 hour a day....you would be surprised how much "forbidden" food you can binge on in an hour.....and then, the disordered eating starts the long cycle of restricting and bingeing and guilt and shame and then you eat to stuff the feelings down.....So, long story short.....don't follow any "experts" advice on the "only way to eat"....it is a trap....so many people on social media have "the only way"....Do yourself a favor and find out what foods agree with you and what foods don't....so you can not only feel your best, but mentally you can make the decisions necessary to deal with the stuff that comes up in life and not have to use food (either bingeing or restricting) to cope....May God help us all!
I’m happy she talks about ARFID because I’ve suffered for the past 2 years and I stopped seeing a therapist, I gave up because it wasn’t helping. It’s a shitty place to be in, society thinks an eating disorder is just teen girls who want to be skinny but it’s SO much deeper than that!!
For more information and resources about eating disorders including ARFID, please visit www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/
Watch our full video on what it's like to live with an eating disorder: ruclips.net/video/v1TWvXwgKr0/видео.html
This is great! Thanks Vice! ✌🏻
What about Aspergers...
@@technofeeliak what's that got to do with eating disorders... Look for another video. Not that hard
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@@1sideaccountxo my autistic grandson has SEVERE eating disorder after being traumatized by ABA "therapy" and now wont eat. He chews and spits. How about you NOT be so nasty to people asking questions like John smith?!
Not eating always made me feel in control when life felt the most out of control.
how do you deal with rumbling stomach? i throw up in the morning cos i get nauseous from hunger. i can't even imagine
When people ask me how or why I developed an eating disorder I use the exact same words..it's heartbreaking.. whenever I felt life falling apart all I could do was to control this one 'little' thing called food.. now I am finally getting some help and trying to enjoy life a little bit more...learning how to appreciate, love and respect yourself is hard work but I am hopeful. Take care everyone
Yeah 2020 has brought my eating disorder back full force
@@georgia1986 I have anti nausea pills due to migraines so I use those and then they suppress my hunger
it's so relateable 💔
It's ironic how much eating disorders are not actually about food.
For me, it’s control. It used to feel so out of my hands, it’s switched to working out now. So kinda better.
sabbithcullen14 same 😂👌🏻
What annoys me especially is when people say eating disorders are CAUSED because of unfair expectations on women, about being ‘thin’. That oversimplification is such an injustice. When it’s not even about that.
Evelyn I'm curious though why it manifests more in women than men. It seems to match the expectations for women in society to look good.
In short: why less men?
I remember going to my GP to finally get help for my bulimia and she said "you don't look like you have an eating disorder" "you look fine to me" when in reality I've had an eating disorder for 10 years and at the time of seeing her I was binging and purging ever day and sometimes up to 7 or so times a day every single day. You can't just look at someone and know they are sick. The medical system needs to be better educated in these matters
I feel your pain. 😥💔 A few years ago, I went to a doctor I had to see as part of the intake exam for therapy. He gave me a checkup and saw me a couple of times thereafter, looked at my weight status (which fluctuated by 5 lbs in either direction), and nonchalantly declared, "Weight stable. No eating disorder". 😱 Meanwhile, at that time, I'd been bulimic for nearly 30 years! I *hate* the ignorance that goes on with ED's, particularly when you don't look anorexic. You're definitely not taken seriously by the medical profession in the same way you'd be if you were emaciated. 😞 I hope you're doing well today, hon'. Sending you love and light. 😘♥️
@@jademusic1211 I have a similar story. When I think back on how long it's been...almost 15 years..it horrifies me. People would never know looking at me. I hear ya sister.
So true. I was severely underweight but people kept assuming I wanted to be thin and was okay.
Same. I was 90-106 lbs at 5’3 which isn’t too underweight for like 20 yrs eating 400-600 calories a day plus weights and cardio and people just said wow you look amazing! Look at those abs! i had low blood pressure low body temperature and wore a sweater in Florida 🤦🏻♀️ doctors never said a word yet now that I’m over my bmi by a little after having a baby and recovering they are crawling all over me and sending me home w a sheet on how to lose weight every single visit. Perhaps I should speak up and tell them my 20+ yr battle w eating disorders of all sorts of types but I feel like they will just think I’m delusional or depressed or it’s an excuse for my current weight gain. Makes me wanna starve again to be honest but I have my son now and that’s more important then the stupid doctors opinions
Weight is one of the main thing that can help you differentiate bulimia from anorexia. Bulimic patients maintain or have normal weight since they binge eat then purge. On the other hand, anorexia less body weight because they restrict food and sometimes they purge.
"The more we restrict, the more likely we are to overeat. And the more we divide foods into good and bad, right and wrong, the more anxiety we're likely to have and the more distress and preoccupations we're likely to have with food and eating."
PREACH.
its basically like the mind taking over all control, without the intuitive side making the judgements based on how your body feels.
Amen
@@sadiemakesmesmile can you explain that? I mean which intuitive side?
If we don't separate food into good and bad then how do you separate eating healthy vs junk food. Junk food is obviously bad food. So idk I struggle with this so if it's not good vs bad then what is it?
@@WhippedCarpet good question. I think viewing food a bit more holistically is probably ideal, rather than the good/bad binary that creates a sense of anxiety. that is to say, asking "is this good for me?" is different from asking "what will the nutrients in this food do for my energy levels?"
I had an eating disorder since high school till I was about 25. I'm 36 now and let me tell you, the BEST thing for EDs is to not be around people who cause you stress, or be in stressful situations. Another thing is my son's dad taught me the real value of food - I saw him grow edible gardens everywhere we lived with love and care, and he taught me to basically respect my body more and to give it what it needs to thrive. SO a loving nurturing environment is NEEDED to facilitate healing. There are a lot of healing holistic centers everywhere that teach that health is love and vice versa. And get away from physical and emotional toxicity, no amount of therapy will work if you stay in toxic environments and relationships.
yeah, but people keep pushing ppl into toxic environments n relationships, which I've finally woken up from "oh they dont mean it like that, oh it'll get better" bullshit, especially reading bout healing and the only way to truly achieve that and become healthy is to outgrow unhealthiness, but that's all there is around here and ppl don't listen, it's fuqqing annoying. Therapists should know better yet they even pressure me to stay and try working out abusive relationships that literally harm me in the end, I literally harm myself, I've tried a million times to "work it out" and I'm only getting worse, I literally don't care about myself, now I even starve myself, I take my anger out on myself, I've given up on trying, wtf is wrong with ppl?! HOW IS THIS OKAY?! I don't understand how ppl say to get help, but the "pros" to get help from DONT FUQQIN HELP ??? They just dismiss it
True when my abusive mom finally is gone is when my stress will be 100 percent reduced
BEST ADVICE
I wish I could just walk away from food like an alcoholic can walk away from alcohol but I can't. This body requires me to eat daily and I have to face the ed everyday. It's damning.
I feel you, don't worry buddy you're not alone
You're really good at skating!
@kerpal3 that is not a helpful response to someone with an eating disorder!
Cherie Adams Dodd this really helped me with my ed in terms of recovery & making sure i get at least some sort of nutrients
@@anastasiageorge1279 that's wonderful you found it so helpful! Xx My comment was because of making blanket statements about separate foods is not healthy for ED in general especially dangerous for someone not in treatment. Obviously once in treatment and learning what works for you then it's fine.
Would’ve been nice if she mentioned that not all ppl with ED are super thin
My goodness yes! Great point.
Yes! Some are actually severely overweight. Usually the ones that are overweight have BED which is the most common eating disorder and many don’t realize they even have it, nor do their families
And even many people with restrictive eating disorders aren’t thin! Atypical anorexia is a real thing and far more prevalent than “anorexia.”
Isa thank you for clarifying what I said. I completely agree
The episode she was on Vice for was regarding an individual who had an addiction to strictly eating Mac n cheese. He had an eating disorder but did not have an intention based around weight. This is the context I believe is missing in the video. If you see the other video it will make a lot more sense
Eating disorders are about control. We have no control anywhere else, so we control our diet. We’re not even realizing we’re doing it at first. It just becomes. Unless you experience it...you just don’t get it. We have to decide to get better for ourselves. No one can do it for us.
Yes, this! I overcame my disorder on my own because I knew no one else could help me in the way I could help myself. In my experience, you really have to work on yourself from the inside, start actually loving everything about yourself. It takes years and isn't easy but is worth it!
!!!
Grey how????
I wouldn't be so quick to generalize the whole "it's about control" thing as if people really even *always* know what they are doing or why they are doing it consciously.
I completely agree with this. It was ALL about control when I was struggling, and it's so freeing releasing the control and healing your relationship with food. I am sending you so much love on your journey to healing your relationship with food if you are currently on that journey
Today marks 30 days of abstinence for me from Compulsive Over Eating and Binge Eating Disorder. I am am in recovery and I am just praying for 30 more days. Having an eating disorder is excruciating and humiliating, and all I want is to get better.. to be normal. But in order to do that, I have no choice but to surrender and allow myself to just focus on today. Not next week, next month, next year; just today. And that’s how I’ll get through, one day (and one meal) at a time.
YESSS! And even if there is a hard day in there, start again. You are showing yourself what you are capable of and you will get there!
how are you now ? ((:
@@lostinthecosmos6095 I love you. I am 1 year and 3 years abstinent. Recovered. It was imperfect, it was monumental, It has been the most freeing time of my life. Thank you so much for asking. And to anyone else reading this that may need this message: it is possible. You can do it and the best thing I can share is that when the feelings come when the coping mechanism no longer exist to cover them up, is to just look straight into the pain and let it out. You get stronger along the way, and it gets easier to handle it. That is the most surprising gift.
@@Arlyneya that’s so great to hear and i’m so fucking proud of you!!!!!congratulations!! you deserve the world. 😊😊😊
i’ve been struggling with binge eating/overeating but i’m working on it now. your comment gives me hope and it motivates me. you have an amazing day, angel. sending much love🤍🤍🤍
How did you do it? Really bad return of binge eating disorder. Constant pain from it. Did you get advice?
She has a really nice voice, like a mother's.
What
@@lilHDMI y e s
Not my Mother. 🤷🏽♀️😔
@@Steph_Said boohoo
lil HDMI Archive i- bro this is a serious video
As someone who had severe eating disorders for roughly 15 years but overcame it and has been healthy for almost 7 years now, I want to say that it’s possible to get through it and get better. If you’re suffering from eating disorders please don’t give up. You’ll get through it. 💜
Edit: 3 years since I made this comment, STILL HEALTHY and content with my body. Everyone, you can do it. I believe in you, and I promise, life is so much better. Take care ❤️
Pa Woo Needed that, thank you. ❤️
You should be so proud of yourself, it’s not an easy road to recovery ❤️
Hiya, firstly, I am incredibly proud of you for overcoming something so hard and keeping well for so long now, well done you are truly an inspiration!💗 (possible trigger warning) Secondly, I am currently doing an English language A level and the question I’ve chosen for course work is ‘does language on food products effect those who have or have had eating disorders?’ As I have never experienced an eating disorder myself I was wondering whether you could give me any insight on this? Of course I really do not want to ask anything that may offset you in your recovery so if you would prefer to stop reading this comment now then please do! But if you are happy to talk about this then I would be extremely grateful for a reply. I imagine it as if you were walking through the super market, is there anything (words in particular) that reminds you of your eating disorder or effects you in a negative or positive way? Thank you and again, you are amazing for what you have overcome!💛
@@rubybeatrice4323 Hi Ruby! Apologies for the late reply. If there's anything I can do to help spread awareness, I'd love to 🙂 I'm not from U.K. though, if that matters?
Pa Woo Hello! That’s great thank you so much! And no that’s not a problem so long as I do say the country your from if that’s alright with you?
Question 1: What are some similarities between various types of eating disorders? 0:24
Q2: What are some misconceptions about eating disorders? 0:59
Q3: What is ARFID? 1:14
Q4: How does ARFID compare other eating disorders? 1:53
Q5: What role does trauma play in developing an eating disorder? 2:15
Q6: How can eating disorders be treating effectively? 2:49
Q7: What issues exist with access to treatment? 3:27
Q8: What role does society and culture play in perpetuating eating disorders? 4:00
Q9: How can I help a friend or family living with an eating disorder? 4:27
Q10: ???!!! (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ 5:13
Thank you for doing this:)
Question : why did she only mention 3 types of Eds ? There are many more
Lol @Q10
It’s 5 minutes not an hr 🙄🙄
I remember being 11 and 12 years old and developing anorexia. I was bullied by a large group of girls at the new school I attended every single day. I was in a fight basically every day for the entire time I went to that school... I wouldnt eat at lunch, I didnt care about eating breakfast, and I chose not to eat supper because what was the point? I had no appetite whatsoever.
I distinctly remember my teacher reading us a book about a girl who had an eating disorder. I took that book home and used it as a tool on how to better "control" my eating disorder. I used it as a way to learn how to keep my eating disorder a secret, how to lose more weight, and what to do about food I didn't want to eat...
Finally, my family had decided to move and I was placed in a different school. My new friends had began noticing how I never ate and how skinny I was getting... and they voiced their concern. That's when I finally began allowing myself to eat a little bit. Eventually, I began eating more often and finally I began gaining a healthy amount of weight...
But all in all, trauma DOES create eating disorders. The trauma of the racism and being bullied had made me anorexic. Please, teach your children to love others and to embrace peoples differences so this doesnt happen to anyone else.
Thank you.
That's a beautiful, encouraging story, honey. I hope you're continuing to do well. 😘♥️
Ooh my goodness you story sounds very similar to my daughter although she eats ice which is called Pagophagia. She doesn’t want to eat breakfast or evening meals, although when she’s not eating the ice she enjoys her food. She started maybe 3 years ago like age 9 she moved to a new school when we moved to the city and she was so excited because the school before that she was bullied. Yet the new school she struggled to fit in and developed anxiety. Then during the lock downs it was the transition to high school (which is a challenge for many children I know) but it I kept an eye on it. Then it really ramped up when we moved to a bigger home about 10 months ago. Now she hides when she’s eating the ice, I believe the anxiety drives this, I have asked her why she hides and why she believes she does this at all and she talks about issues with friends at school emotional issues she has with her dad, and how she struggles to deal with them and she finds herself eating ice, but what I don’t understand is why she is hiding it.
I’m monitoring it but I don’t want her to have a life filled with an eating disorder.
You story is encouraging tho, I will show her so she can read it. Ultimately it’s important to deal with the root causes but yet to see an encouraging testimony helps also.
what book? there were two that had a similar impact on me. I read them so many times.
@@helenabolo-luca9377 wow, i know my problem isn't the case with all ice-eaters, but i began eating so much ice several years ago, and my daughter told me it might be a sign of anemia. i laughed and said, no way am i anemic. but then my heart started bothering me so i had to see a doctor, and boy was i ever anemic, so anemic!
I feel like I can’t say that I ever had an eating disorder because I was never diagnosed and was never underweight :/ I lost my period, was extremely obsessed with food and restriction, built up so much anxiety around what I ate, etc. still haven’t gotten over some of these things :(
my heart goes out to you ❤️ i have the same exact thoughts...i feel that the only way i can get help is by being underweight, and i’m too scared of my parents not believing me if i tell them.
everything you listed is indicative of very disordered eating, AND at the same time not having a diagnosis doesn’t make the struggle or disorder any less valid! the healing process is long and annoying, but just the fact that you’re speaking about it in the past tense shows you’ve made a lot of progress already which is so encouraging! it will take time and effort to push through it all and heal yourself from the leftover habits- ultimately it will happen though😌 (coming from someone 5 years recovered from anorexia, with some occasional lingering patterns of thinking, but overall a very healthy relationship with eating and exercise)
I'm fat and mostly bullied for being an Overweight. I weigh 60kg and felt bad i have a really bad affection in food i panic when i intake a lots of calories a days so ended up vomiting it's really suck.
Whether or not there is a diagnosis, it's real enough. I'm so sorry you had that experience and that you are still experiencing any of this.
You don't have to be diagnosed to understand the symptoms, the fixations and what they mean
When she mentioned about the sensing for belonging and a place to fit in, that hit so deep. Since I could remember I’ve always been bigger, both taller and heavier, than my contemporaries and I always felt out of place.
She has such soothing voice and presence.
Thanks, Kira.
The therapy for eating disorders I experienced was all body related which actually made things worse. It‘s nice to know there are therapists out there who treat the cause instead of the symptoms.
I went to a psychologist who specialized in eating disorders. She referred me to a dietician and they worked together. The psychologist dealt with showing me how my anorexia was tied into my feelings of lack of control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, etc. While the dietician focused on the reintroducing food and teaching me about the damage lack of food was doing to my body. She managed my food diary and my psychologist focused on triggers. It was successful in teaching me the patterns of the disorder. I hope you're doing better.
This the same lady that is treating the mac n cheese addict!
Perhaps
@@-fragile- it is!
Cheddar323 Mac and cheese addict?
@@kaylao.3326 Yeah he turned yellow and looks like a blob of fake cheese
Now i want mac n cheese
I developed disordered eating around age 15 thanks to my narcissistic, evangelical mom. I'm now 41 and I still struggle with food, body image, self-loathing, all that crap. THANKSMOM.
same right here!!! im only 22 and im worried this will never end but i also cant afford CBT therapy right now :/
Time to parent yourself and stop blaming your mom from 25 years ago. At this point it’s your choice.
@@amylee9 I'm working on it. The trauma and PTSD and shame runs deep.
@@AA-wc3tw There’s a great book called “Personality isn’t Permanent”. It has a section on moving on from trauma. It’s helped me a ton. I highly recommend it. Best wishes….
@@amylee9 yeah but you make it sound as if one can stop having PTSD which is bs. just saying.
For me, when I feel like shit in my life is getting out of control, the “ED” makes me feel as though it’s the one thing I CAN control. Trauma is definitely a key role that triggered it from the beginning. 😞
You make sense, Samantha. Thanks for sharing.
My best advice is to 1. Stick to your meal plan 2. Follow up with your doctor 3. ED programs are always there. I was in & out of the hospital throughout my 20s & 30s. Every time I learned something new.
Eating disorders aren't about food. They're about control. You should be very proud of yourself for recognizing the underlying cause of your ED ❤️
I'm so glad she mentioned ARFID. I'm one of those males she mentions; the kind who used to hide in shame, not knowing I was struggling with a diagnosable and treatable eating disorder.
It's a little frustrating when I read a pamphlet or a poster about eating disorders and ARFID isn't mentioned. I only learned about ARFID (called Selective Eating Disorder at the time) at least a decade of struggle. A specialist noticed my behavior in a public setting and informed me in private. I'm still struggling but there is a noticeable improvement; progress I might not have had if it wasn't for that coincidence. Without awareness and treatment, I might have avoided more trips and social events just because of the food.
If you suspect someone you know is struggling with ARFID please let them know about it. It was a huge relief for me to learn about this disorder; that I wasn't just "picky", that my anxiety in front of food was real and that there are other people like me. You'll be a hero to anyone by bringing this to light for them.
Patrick Dallaire Thank you for insight. I’ve never heard of ARFID until now and I’m curious to look more into it.
Thank you so much @@Suna-nb6vd for sharing. Your story is so relatable.
Like you, I learned about the disorder ~19. Like you, I seem to have struggled with it my whole life. Only my parents can recall the times, younger than 3 years old, when I wasn't as "picky" (a label that I despise btw). Like you, I blamed myself; I didn't think it was more challenging for me, I only thought what people told me: that I was weak. My parents treated me in a similar way. One time my dad forced me to eat until I puked and then forced me to finish eating; all this happened in front of his parents, siblings and their children. Eventually, they also gave up on trying to change their child (me). From the post you replied to, you can probably tell how much of a relief it was for me to learn about ARFID too. Obviously, it was a relief for me to move out and eat wtv I want as well.
You don't "have" to change. Just know that we have IS a medical condition (In the DSM-5); there are therapists and support groups out there. Personally, I didn't really seek therapy until I was ~23. Before that, I just wanted to focus on my studies and "healthy" food was expensive anyway. Even then, trying to change has been on and off. Sometimes, I relapse into old behaviors. However, overall there are signs of progress and paths have been laid for whenever I want to try again. Try and try again. Just doing it at my own pace. My therapist is a super nice woman.
I can't predict the future nor can I read your mind but, to me, it feels like your ambition for that career and wholesome motherhood could outweigh your fear of the "treatments". It wouldn't hurt to just get a consultation to address questions like "Should I do it?" and "Am I ready?". Whatever pleases you (not your parents) in the long run.
Take care Alisha
So glad to read this. Thank you for sharing.
I didn’t understand what it was
@@patrickdallaire5972 umm you are supposed to stop when full if you ate til your sick it’s a sign you’ve eaten way way too much
She seems like someone filled with compassion and love for others. Wish I know a person like her in my life
If someone needs hope, my big sister's friend had really bad anorexia and bulimia that even the doctors said that she probably won't ever be healthy or recover. Nowadays she is healthy and happy, saw a post of her where she has strong legs and is smiling after just running a marathon. Never give up hope, that is the most important fight with mental ilnesses.
do you mind telling us how she recovered ? i’m eating more and moving less and it’s not doing anything it’s exhausting :(
She mentioned ARFID!! I've had it since I was a little child and never knew what it was until last year, because no food therapist I ever talked to even knew what it was. They thought I was anorexic because I only ate certain things, but I never wanted to be thin (rather the opposite, I was always uncomfortable in my very thin/petite body). Then it was binge eating, because I would only certain foods but because I could 'only eat' certain foods, I would eat large amounts of them. Now I finally know what it is and I can do a lot of self-imposed food therapy to help myself like more foods.
for me it was about control, feeling unloveable and all of those things - absolutely. I'm so grateful to the people in my life who supported me when I was at my worst.
Please please do an update of the Mac n cheese guy in the future! I would love to know how he is doing! Best of luck to you young sir!! 😊
I'm sitting in an ER hospital bed waiting for admission to a mental health clinic.
I spent the last 20 years of my life confused and in pain, not understanding why eating hurt and not understanding why I hated myself.
I watched my world, my life, my family and my love fall apart around me, but because I was just so young when it started, it never really felt like an issue.
And I... I just woke up. Got to the ER with Opioid-like withdrawal symptoms because of abusing the medical system to avoid taking medications for my growing psychosis.
I went inpatient for two weeks at a high BMI for EDNOS, and got immediately discharged for a lack of change in weight and vitals. As if I could just eat and be healthy. I liked pretending like that. It didn't hurt when I pretended like that.
Eventually, I just... broke. I was exhausted, starving. I didn't know why I couldn't eat. I was so hungry, and I just wanted to be alone. My boyfriend didn't understand. How could he?
No one had even known I'd been drugged against my will. I was locked in my body. Forever awake.
I just hope my family can forgive me.
Did you get married and are you working currently
I have ARFID and it honestly feels like it runs my whole life. I’m so thankful for these videos bringing awareness to a disorder that isn’t taken seriously enough, in my opinion.
Horror Adorer what do you eat
Same, but even these videos don't always help. I wish someone would just knock those kind of idiots with a book about AFRID, maybe it will give them some compassion and make them mock and judge you less.
I used to have this too!
@@EmbodyYourDivinity how did you get passed it?
@@horroradorer I got free from the things that were driving me to be so obsessive. For me the solution wasn’t food focused at all. Even therapy had its limits for me. But when I went deeper and addressed the underlying issues that were keeping me stuck in addiction and obsession, my addictions and obsessions went away.
I spent nearly 4 years in therapy for bulimia and I’ve never fully recovered but can manage it. Don’t think my relationship with food will ever be normal.
rachkate I feel it
same
rachkate same here- it’s been just over four years that I was at my lowest point (and weight) with anorexia. my “recovery” was pretty much just physical in that I was force-fed food deemed worthy by a nutritionist and that I attended weekly visits to a psychologist for a couple months (although it felt more like an interrogation to decipher my illness than therapy). I wouldn’t even care about my weight if I just had the chance to live a life where I don’t constantly think about food and whether or not the amount that’s in me is too much or too little...
avuhhh It’s exhausting isn’t it... keep fighting, stay strong
You're a fucking beast for dealing with it though. Mad props
It's cool that this popped up today! I have a friend who recently enrolled in getting treatment and this helps me understand my boundaries when speaking about her eating disorder. Also gave me a lot more empathy. Thanks for making this, Vice!
her voice/tone... she makes me feel validated.
I recently found out I have ARFID and it’s honestly comforting? Like this is something I struggled with a lot and it’s nice to know there’s a word for it and I can get help for it :(
I have the same thing , I wouldn't eat as a child so my nursery would force feed me food and my doctor thinks that's what caused it
same here
Me too , trying to find somewhere to check in for treatment has been so difficult
Same bro, I thought I had anorexia but apparently that’s when you feel the need to keep your weight as low as possible but this has nothing to do with my weight, my mum says I’ve always been a “picky eater” but now I think it’s more than that.
same throughout my childhood i went to so many doctors and they all basically said itll go away when i get older but it never did and then 3 years ago we found a therapist and she diagnosed me with ARFID and like you said its just nice to know that theres actually smth to describe it
I've had an eating disorder since I was 12 years old. It's a constant battle I'm trying to overcome. My therapist has told me it was something I developed to cope with the inconsistencies in my life at a young age. Choosing not to eat was the only thing I had control over.
yes, disorders from diet, i had them as well, i found out i am allergic to the world if i eat carbs, some sugars (ice cream mostly) act the same way. you will never know for sure if you do not look at what establishes brain power energy. Ketones, ketosis, eating meat is better for animals than growing crops, keto mojo - which i currently do not have, but i can listen to my second brain, the belly. if your brain is healthy, your body can follow suit and make your muscles strong. saute some onions in butter & add hamburger to the mix is one of the best ways to eat a stick of butter a day. keep an open mind & know that when you eat saturated fats or butter & good olive, coconut, or avocado oil that you will lose weight but gain muscle & mental clarity. hope this helps you to be at your best optimal physiology, which is how the universe designed us or put us together.
@@zzcaptainmastiv2727 You spouting your ideology has nothing whatsoever to do with what this person said regarding eating disorders. 🙄 Take your beliefs to a keto diet forum where they belong. You and your ignorance are in the wrong comment section.
How old are you now ?
It's crazy how easily you can develop one. I'm 21 now and I lost my mom when I was young, immediately after I started restricted my food which then developed into bingeing, my body suffered through alot
It's breaks my heart how I wasted my teenage years to this and being obsessed with my weight
I was quite skinny to the point my mother was embarrassed of me . I was forced to eat massive amounts of food by my parents in order to keep living at home. My mother encouraged binge eating and I would eat boxes of cereal in front of her where she would yell at me to get bigger . She would say " YOU EAT IT , YOU WEAR IT OR YOUR NOT LIVING AT HOME ANYMORE" . I would end up on the floor , crying and in pain where she would tell me I'm stupid for eating to the point of sickness. That really fucked me up . My binges got worse, she told me all she wanted was for me to gain weight , then yet again she would yell at me for the massive amounts consumed despite her encouraging it.
Now .... I'm 35 kg higher , but I'm suicidal and the binges still haven't stopped .
This started 2 years ago.
It's been hell .
It was honestly traumatic.
How are you doing now? I hope you are feeling better. It sounds as though your home is not a place where you can get better. Are there people around you or people you know who are loving and patient with you, who you can trust?
I am one of those who binges food and gains 50 lbs to then starving myself losing 50 lbs. I've been this way all my life and it has taught me to just accept how I am. It is what it is.
Same . Even when I eat a little more than I had planned to eat for a meal I just say I’ve screwed up then back to binge and feeling like shite
@daisygirl1217 I hear what you're saying but you don't have to just deal with this forever. You can get free from this cycle
The first 60 seconds of this video described how I use to feel when I dealt with binge eating disorder 🥺 thank God for healing 🤲🏽🤍
"The person is actually looking for a sense of belonging, a connection or feeling loved, feeling valuable, feeling safe or secure"
These words were an eye opener to me.
for me, the hunger pains feel familiar, they feel grounding, they feel like something to hold onto, when everything else is completely out of my own control. They make me feel strong, somehow..
Very Interesting...I would feel fear in that situation but because I have Health Ocd 😂
Same here. :( I don't know what to do, I reject all kind of food. I have been hungry all my life. The feeling of satiation is just weird. My "normal" is being empty and and weak.
I wish I could deal with the hunger pains. I feed the pain, which has lead to being obese. I went from being anorexic/bulimic to now obese. When I was anorexic I felt in control. Now, I feel like I have absolutely no control.
Being hungry just feels so good.
Wow, she is sharp as a tack! It's inspiring to see people this effective working in our (often broken and outdated) mental health system
I remember the rush at my hardest point, the rush of it all and the control was so thrilling. It made me feel okay because it is the only thing I’m in control. I know it’s not healthy, but it’s so so hard to stop
I'm very glad that she mentioned men having eating disorders. As a male with one it's nice to hear people talking about it because guys having eating disorders isn't discussed often
I have ARFID. My mom said I didn't transition well to solid food when I was a kid, and I've had a preference for liquids my entire life. For me, eating (as well as obtaining food, cooking, dishes, etc) take a lot of energy (I also have fibromyalgia), I have sensory issues, and I don't have a strong appetite. 10 years ago I was severely underweight, and I was eating all high calorie foods like peanut butter m&ms and whole chocolate milk to get as many calories as I could. I've gotten a lot better; I reached and have maintained a healthy weight for the past 6 years by taking a med to increase my appetite, using disposable cutlery to minimize energy required for dishes, eating on a schedule, and always keeping some easy to consume food within arm's reach. I also got away from my toxic family. I had tried for a few years to force myself to eat, but that often resulted in gagging so I eventually realized that that wasn't a helpful tactic for me. 90% of my diet is still meal replacement drinks, but I'm doing pretty well and I'm slowly introducing more solid food into my diet.
I have suffered from anxiety my whole life and suddenly i started fearing eating because of gagging and just feeling full, your story gave me hope
i cried reading the comments. good to know not just me facing the similar situation. i feel like a failure every time i decide to eat. my pattern is that i fast for few days and binge eating for a meal(i won't stop until my stomach aches or feeling the food being piled up to my throat). it seems so easy and like it's your responsibility to have regular and normal-sized meal, not having health problem (but you have to look skinny so people will believe that you're healthy)
i am petite, 2 kg overweight, bit high body fat rate. i have bigger ribs, bigger pelvis, fat ankle. although i have the so-called hourglass body but people around me don't appreciate it at all. everytime i wear baggy clothes or layer up my clothes, i almost like sin to them. they think it's okay to blame my loving for food, to shame my body. turns out i am super insecure about my body now, i don't want anyone to look at my body, talk about my body, even a compliment is stressful to me. i just can't love my body even though i tell myself to embrace, be confident... it just doesn't feel right. i am also insecure about me eating being seen by others, i feel like my own room is the only place safe. i am so afraid eating with or in front of people, i wish i can be all alone the entire life. that's the only way i feel free and enjoyable.
i made up my mind for a few times to just eat what i love, don't care about being fat or thin, screw those people, and i wished human didn't have eyes to watch and mouth to say mean words. but i've always lost to the public aesthetics and started to be anxious about food and my body. i am so worried about choosing to have strict diet for my whole life or to practice intuitive eating step by step. it's hard because once i start to eat, i want to eat a lot, if i'm not allowed to eat a lot, i rather not to eat. but when i eat a lot, i feel guilty and shameful, i will keep punishing myself for wasting money and the possibility of growing fat. but when i have strict diet, i feel like there's nothing worth pursuing in the world. anyway, great video, i will watch it every day to remind and understand myself more.
As an anorexic I would love to have an hourglass body when I become a woman, please tell me how you got it
My eating disorder is a side affect on of my PTSD and anxiety and adhd.
It's not about weight at all
I developed an eating disorder when I moved to a new country at the age of 15. I never realized it was an eating disorder and now, at the age of 26, I realize it all stemmed from "wanting control over one aspect of my life", It was never about food, tbh. Now I'm at a healthy weight, I exercise but I'm still fighting the urge to "just not eat" when I'm very stressed. It's a journey
As someone with anorexia, I couldn’t really relate to the comment that anyone with an eating disorder doesn’t want to have a disorder/doesn’t like it. I mean yes, I don’t want my behavior to be considered “disordered” but the reason recovery is so difficult (for me) is because engaging in the behaviors I do feels GOOD. It feels right.
Society is not kind to fat people & views them as lazy, undisciplined, slovenly, parasitic, gross, etc. So if I am the opposite of fat then I am also the opposite of all of the negative attributes that are associated with fat people.
I feel powerful & disciplined & even receive positive feedback from others regarding my looks & they say they admire my willpower & (thus) my ability to delay gratification. That validation for something that I’m already feeling good about just magnifies the emotion. Add to this that Most of the US is overweight so it then reinforces that my eating habits & subsequent physique are not easy to achieve or maintain, which makes me feel even better, like the commitment & self control that top athletes or models have.
I do not feel tormented by my obsessive thoughts about food or my weight (and they ARE obsessive, I’m not denying that), in fact, the repetition & rituals feel almost like a religious experience. It feels “right” & I feel whole; It’s a nearly euphoric experience when I meet my goals which is why recovery will always be difficult. I have very little incentive to seek it.
For those that may comment about the possible negative consequences I may experience, well, many of them can be mitigated or avoided all together. You can be proactive about getting vitamins & nutrients with supplements & smart food choices, while still keeping your calories low.
Cold? I just Dress warmer & make sure i am consistently keeping my circulation good by getting enough iron, staying hydrated & keeping my body moving.
Any hunger I feel now has a positive association because it’s evidence of my “success” & determination. It’s like some kinda Pavlovian response lol
Ngl, “walking the line” of being thin vs taking things too far is also kinda part of the thrill. By doing things “just right” it increases my feelings of power & self control because I am able to balance it just so; it makes me feel even more perfect. It’s like a high
EDIT: 1) I wanted to clarify that I am NOT saying that people shouldn’t seek recovery because I think the negative consequences can be avoided. I was simply giving insight on how I personally have tried to be proactive about some potential negative “side effects” so to speak
2) i was also not trying to imply that I’ve had 0 negative consequences from my ED, because that isn’t true. Nor was I trying trying to give the impression that you can have an ED & be healthy if you just “do it right”. That simply isn’t true either.
3) I was also not trying to assert that ALL people with anorexia/EDs feel the way I do about mine. Many ARE tormented by their thoughts & behaviors and wish they could stop or rid themselves of their ED.
(Although at some point along the way I believe that ALL people with any ED enjoyed SOME aspect of it, or they wouldn’t have developed it in the first place. It is, after all, an unhealthy attempt at coping, therefore the behaviors are alleviating or assuaging something... just not necessarily successfully or for very long)
Overall, I was just trying to describe my own personal experience and provide insight to others that not all EDs look the same, not even all of one type of ED looks the same (like anorexia for example). So maybe my description could help someone understand how it’s possible someone could not be receptive to intervention & even “enjoy” their ED behaviors.
@@gabrielgherasim1894 thanks I think? Haha
Please stop! Your comment is Pro Ana and deeply triggering and dangerous to people who are trying to recover. As you have an ED yourself, you are in no position professionally to give medical advice.
Please do not post such things online, you are encouraging people to self harm. I truly hope there are people who can be with you to get you through this. By your comment I can tell that this is already hurting yourself. I'm sure you don't mean to hurt others. Be well.
@@emmajane646 I didn’t think I was offering any medical advice :(
Aren't we all just looking for a sense of value, belonging and connection? We need more love in this world, more love!
The scary thing about eating disorders is that you can't even tell when it's happening until other people start pointing it out. It just feels natural and safe until you have a moment of realisation that this is not sustainable
After recovering from polydrug addiction, I can now see the similarities between drug addiction and eating disorders.. I've never had any issues with food until after I changed my brain with substance abuse, there are major similarities..
Plain old sugar can target the same receptors as cocaine, amphetamine, even opiates.. I crave it, binge on it and then feel the comedown. It's uncanny. Recovering addicts need to watch out.
Yes! RECOVERING ADDICTS NEED TO WATCH OUT. And anyone recovering from ANY cycle of dysfunction really does...
Greggy D when I had an ed I would constantly think of it as a kind of addiction (although I always felt terrible thinking of it in that way given that “addiction” is a term mainly used for drugs and alcohol). in reality, I truly was addicted to depriving my body of food- I got an adrenaline rush every single time I remembered that I was working towards (and sadly accomplishing) a weight loss goal by refusing to eat. the thought of anything disrupting my carefully chosen meals or schedules would send my brain and body into a frenzy... and when I was eventually force-fed for months, my head and thoughts were sent into chaos and depression since I was previously convinced that depriving myself of food was the only way to achieve that dopamine and adrenaline. scary stuff...
My ass eats whatever I can because I'm always hungry and im skinny as hell.. I only eat twice a day tho.
Bro do you really describe yourself as a polydrug addict lmao, why not just addict, grateful recovering addict?
I understand your thought process but your conclusion is not correct. Your brain runs off Glucose- aka sugar. Sugar from fruits, veg, and whole grains. NOT cake, cookies, chips.... don’t get it twisted. Good sugars are absolutely necessary for proper brain function. Especially if you’re trying to heal.
SO HAPPY to finally see a credited specialist talk about ARFID on RUclips!
This video hit me like a wrecking ball!! I developed ptsd in 2016 but also developed Arfid along side it! It's hard finding detailed videos about arfid so I truly thank you!! This is the first time Iv heard someone link trauma to eating disorders in this way and you've hit the bull's-eye! The way you've described the feelings we experience is soo accurate! You are a blessing to soo many
I love that she mentioned males with eating disorders or disordered eating. We DEFINITELY need to help everyone get access to help. Guys, girls, rich, and poor.
This never seems to go away..
For me my ed was about control bc my religious family was super controlling about everything in my life. From the way i dressed to who i was allowed to talk to. I developed it at the age of 12 and im 25 now. When i moved out i started to eat normally without me even thinking about it. Sometimes i find myself restricting again but its way better now. I hope one day im 100% better. Remember to treat your body kindly is something i tell myself when im struggling. I hope everyone who struggles with an ed is able to be free of it.💕
Hello reader, I would just like to reassure you that no matter how hard it is to stop your eating disorder, it will eventually go away. I had been binge eating and purging for 6 years since I was 16 but I got through it. I thought I will die one day because of it and I would never recover but I did! I have ptsd from my childhood and had body image disorder and depression since i was very young . I started doing my own research and got to know more healing and learned abt nutrition eating and exercise and I’ve never been happier one day I just stopped feeling bad no matter if I over ate and still to this day I am at a healthy weight sometimes the scale goes up sometimes down but I don’t care about it anymore what matters is I am happy eating and not having to feel guilty and anxious
Narcissistic abuse makes me depressed & overeat, & then as a result, the abusive narcs condemn me & call me "greedy", which makes me even more depressed, & then eating even MORE!
I have BPD,C-PTSD, and eating disorder.and when i was suffering with bulimia,my mother and a certain psychiatrist often said to me,"i'm ashamed of you!!"and then she always screamed at me.
now, i cannot eat with someone . i hide, and eat all alone.
the words they said to me still echo me.....forever.
I had an eating disorder after I was beat up by my ex and left him because it shocked me and my self esteem was so low. I was losing 1-2 pounds a day and I remember my aunt cooked me this really good meal and I had one bite and felt so sick. I started working on my eating disorder and haven’t been back. 5/6 years ago.
Hi! To be honest I was on the verge of succumbing to my inner voice but here's my story, I was very much aware of the fact that there are eating disorders and I might experience it, I didn't really care much or I'm sure I wouldn't have an eating disorder. But then one day my auntie commented "You seem to be putting on weight" and that is where it went down I started restricting then feeling good but then I'd overeat on the weekends, I never wanted that, I was just on an endless cycle of restricting and binging, I know that the weight that I put on can possibly be just water retention but I would always think "I still put on weight" that's just a toxic mindset, gaining weight is inevitable, I never wanted to think like that I never wanted to have that toxic mentality, I just wanted to look good.
Before it even gets worse I pushed myself to get out of that cycle. I know that I might've gain weight but I know that it's only water retention and It will go away I pushed myself to have a better mentality and If I were to want to lose weight I'd do it with positive thoughts and do it the healthy way.
Please always be considerate to what you say to others, Just a few words can shatter someone's life and progress. Love your body for what it does not on how it looks like 💛
I’m going to bring this topic up at my next therapy appointment. thank you!
The accuracy and compassion of this analysis (in my experience and perspective) seems very much on par with that of Louise Hay. In her book 'Heal Your Body', she summarises the causation of anorexia as "Denying the self life. Extreme fear, self-hatred and rejection", and bulimia as "Hopeless terror. A frantic stuffing and purging of self-hatred". Both summations certainly ring true for me.
My anorexia developed at age 14. This came to overlap with and include bulimia - and later, overlap with and include cigarette smoking and alcohol abuse. I recall having a clear sense of my panic and distress manifesting in my flesh: that is, the stronger my emotions, the fatter my body felt - whilst losing the weight somehow helped to lessen what was 'bad' about me.
Similarly - and with the same inevitability that speed results in collisions.- my bulimic acts of bingeing and purging were propelled by overwhelming emotional despair.
In my 30+ years of living this way, I have consulted with more than 10 medical 'professionals' (including three psychiatrists), and experienced two hospital stays - all to very little avail. Which to this day leaves me angry.
I get, absolutely, that eating disorders are incredibly difficult to make sense of from the outside. I do understand that. However, when a medical professional voluntarily declares (or, fails to protest) their 'expertise' in this field - well then a greater onus arguably rests upon said 'expert'. And as one who has been filled with fear and panic for so long, I think I feel betrayed by these people.
In conclusion: the analysis presented in the video above is, in my experience, unusually accurate and compassionate.
I use food as a coping mechanism, like when I make a meal I feel hopefull and its like a physical manifestation of me taking care of myself/treating myself. Without it being tiresome or painful. Then when I eat, I start to think about my problems when I am not currently eating, so I stuff myself. To the point of discomfort so that I can think about something else other then the real problem. Then I blast music and read til a fall a sleep.
This perfectly articulates what I go through with just about every meal which lead me straight into a binge eating disorder.
Thank you for this.. There is a HUGE PROBLEM with access to treatment. HUGE. I spent a lot of time researching eating disorder centers and grants or sponsorships and i can tell you there is nothing. Treatment can cost from 800 to 1000's of $$ a day which no one can afford. Its insane.
I'm late to the game on this but three years later and I'm saying thank you. Thank you for this.
Because of the ol virus, I haven’t been able to see my nutritionist or therapist (you need licenses or permits or something to have online sessions) and as someone with a mild eating disorder, it has been really difficult to cope without support. My god this video is exactly what I needed. Thank you vice.
There are options 💜 like OA has virtual meetings for example. Maybe you can find other programs or therapy options that offer online meetings that work for you. Good luck friend! I see you.
she makes me feel so understood.
Wow she really is a professional I have eating disorder and she did mentioned every single problem that I have including specially the part when she said there is a lot of hiding when someone has an eating disorder
I’m am so happy someone is finally talking about arfid on a big channel.
Person with ARFID here, wanted to chime in that ARFID is common with Autism (I am autistic). I have poor interoception which means I often can't tell that I'm hungry or thirsty, and so I chronically undereat. I don't like it when I lose weight from this and I try really hard to eat enough but I just don't feel hunger. I have to use fatigue to identify hunger or thirst ("Why do I feel tired? Hm, maybe eat or drink something."). Some researchers think up to 1 in 4 people with certain eating disorders have comorbid Autism as well, that is diagnosed or not diagnosed.
I also struggle because my autism results in texture hypersensitivity, so sometimes I can't eat something because the thought of it gives me deep nausea and anxiety where I don't want the food to touch me. This leads to eating a lot of the same foods over and over, which also led to weight loss because I was eating but my calories weren't nutrient dense since I was just having smoothies 2-3 times a day and then maybe one standard meal.
Wanted to share this because sometimes people have an ED because they have autism (or ADHD! Where this is common as well) and so my body will literally not want a lot of foods and I have to work hard to vary my diet and keep my thirst and hunger levels normal. I have been trying to add more color to my plate and do meal planning to help.
If you have ARFID and are not diagnosed with Autism or ADHD you might be interested in looking into it!
Thissss. I went thru 6 years of treatment for ARFID and autism was not mentioned once!! But I in fact am autistic and adhd, and have since been diagnosed. Knowing back then that I was autistic would’ve really helped me understand my life and sensory problems (beyond just food) that led to the end of my long term relationship, quitting jobs…
But also maybe even if I had been told I may be autistic I might’ve denied it due to being traumatized by other autistic kids in elementary school.
But I do think that autism and adhd should be flagged whether someone is diagnosed with an ED. IMO eating disorders are just a symptom or side effect of a deeper problem (like trauma, neurodivergence, etc). Like saying a fever or sneezing is a diagnosis and not looking for a deeper cause.
But also in my experience ED treatment centers are incredibly uncomfortable addressing any comorbid conditions… which I is damaging to patients.
It sure would be nice to have a 3 person treatment team like she describes. I’m sure the average person can’t afford that. I had to overcome bulimia by myself :(
ZIggy Darling thank you ❤️. It wasn’t easy and I don’t know if I’ve fully healed but I just dedicated myself to it and kept picking myself up every time I fell back into bad habits.
You are a rock star, honey. Congratulations. 😘♥️ I'm still struggling with my ED for nearly 37 years. I can't imagine never having it, and I don't know how I'd ever conquer it alone. You are amazing. 😍♥️♥️♥️
I had an ED that resulted from the trauma of an abusive relationship. I was losing one pound a day and disappointed if I didn’t. But then my aunt made my favourite meal and I couldn’t even eat it without feel the sickest I have. After that I tried to work on it and haven’t gone back.
Great video! I wish we could bring more awareness to compulsive eating, binge eating and regularly overeating until you don’t feel good. People tend to focus on restricted selective eating, binging and purging.
Yeah, the trauma that tells us we aren’t worth anything but our looks from the minute we are born 🙄
I’ve been struggling with bulimia for over 10 years, I’ve talked with my doctor about it and she recommended going vegetarian, I still get to control my eating, but I’m also eating. I had a relapse this week and it’s really hard. I feel constantly alone and it frustrates me. It really hurts and I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy. To anyone else struggling, I’m rooting for you, you’re not alone, and you are valid!
Just read your message and I want to send you a smile and let you know I’m hopeful for you..rooting for you too fellow earthling!! ✨
I’ve been suffering from ARFID for awhile now. I never realised there was a term for this type of eating disorder. I always thought “I don’t starve myself. I don’t binge regularly so that’s not an eating disorder” But I seriously do have an issue with eating, it’s turning into OCD or starving myself when I indulge in sweet or carbs (even if it’s just one cookie) or I overeat then spew up☹️
I’ve had selective eating disorder my whole life and everything she said was so accurate about how I feel
What if you hardly eat when you’re around people but overeat whenever you’re alone?
Anxiety maybe? From having to constantly keep up your "image" in the eye of others?
That depends, is it on purpose or coincidental? If its on purpose then I would suggest talking to someone about it, it's worth figuring out why. And you are worth the effort to get better.
Are you self conscience about how you look when you eat? Or that others will judge you for what you eat and don’t eat? Or the amount? I know I eat faster when alone. It is something I try to be aware of and try to slow down my eating.
This is a very old comment but my input might still be helpful to you, or maybe to someone scrolling down the comments and struggling with the same problem.
From the little symptoms you described, this sounds like BED, or Binge Eating Disorder. This eating disorder usually manifests in overeating episodes, where the person will eat large amounts of food : usually enough food for a whole day, consumed in a short amount of time. It is also extremely common for people suffering from BED to try and hide their binges from others, even from people they trust & feel comfortable with like friends or family.
Symptoms may vary wildly, both in intensity and in nature. The main symptom for BED however is overfeeding in a short amount of time. If you're experiencing that symptom, i would urge you to try & inform yourself on the disease, as well as find a therapist specialised in EDs, if thats a possibility
BED is thought to be the most common eating disorder in the western world, affecting women as well as men... and yet most of those people dont even know they are suffering from an ED.
that is classic ED behavior!
So glad you made this video! This topic is so so important. I really resonated when she talked about awareness. I'm 34, and I had no idea that I suffer from an eating disorder until I was 33!
Years ago when i abstained from lunch, snacks and dinner and only ate sugar cookies to have some sort of energy source, it was better to feel nauseating hunger than the shame and guilt causing it. To me it was a substitute for a more tolerable pain i can think of more rather than what happened to me.
In my personal experience with eating disorders…I’ve found that eating disorders are fueled by excessive guilt. Guilt from other people’s comments, from self perceptions, from not looking like we think we should, from thinking we are fat, from overeating, from feeling a lack of control…..this guilt also fosters low self esteem.
Guilt removes self worth and contentment. The eating disorder is an attempt to fix some of what makes us feel guilty. I had other OCD behaviors along with anorexia and Bulimea.. just trying to be perfect in the way I looked and the things I did. That was 40 years ago….. a few weeks ago, my son said …Mom, you live as if everything has to be black and white….its either perfect (white) or a big failure (black). He said, I’ve learned that life is in the grey area…when you can live in the grey area you will be content.
He said that because I’m still OCD about some things. So I was amazed at his well thought out words! He is right! We have to live with our imperfect selves. Without the guilt of missing the mark. And give that same to others. . Excessive guilt over how others see our selves or our yards is useless. Im loving that concept of living in the grey zone. That is where we ALL live now and it’s a live and let live place. Even for the person in the mirror!
The Low FODMAP diet causes me eating anxiety. Damn IBS!
Same
I got diagnosed by my gp yesterday for selective eating disorders. And the first thing i said but I don’t look like I have a eating disorder but as he spoke more and the more I researched the more I realised how my trauma is affecting me still even when I thought it wasn’t anymore.
I had some sort of restrictive eating disorder as a control mechanism before I was diagnosed with PTSD.
It was a coping mechanism to regain some control in my life. There was no drive to being thin, even though I lost weight.
I made sure I had the right amount of vitamins and minerals per day, with the minimal amount of calorie intake.
It was a way I could have absolute control over something at a time when I felt I’d lost all control over everything else in my life.
My minimum was 500kcal/day, because I knew I needed at least that much to function, and to take in all the nutrients I needed. My maximum allowed was 1000kcal/day.
When I got treatment for my PTSD, my ED symptoms slowly melted away. Because it felt normal to me, I never told my psychologist or psychiatrist about my ED symptoms. I feel very lucky they mostly went away despite that.
From time to time, when I get stressed out, I find myself obsessing over food and restricting kcal, but the instances are now few and far between.
Therapy works.
Treatment works. You just have to find the right one for you. Sadly, there’s no one-size-fits-all treatment.
just an fyi to anyone - not all people eating disorders are THIN !! i’m rlly tired of people saying “you don’t look like you have an eating disorder” when it’s about your mental struggle with food and not all about weight.
I remember that first thought that made my ED start :(
I do too and I still remember to this day 13 years later
I just got diagnosed with ARFID over a month ago, been suffering with it for a couple of years now though. Finally getting therapy for it. I’m so glad it was mentioned in this video since people never talk about it when they talk about eating disorders!
I do what I do because it's the only thing that makes me feel better
I had terrible childhood with an alcoholic father. Eating was my coping mechanism to make me feel better. Became extremely overweight and was Damm near obese and decided to eat better and more importantly address psychosomatic issues and I loss 125+ lbs and kept it off. My advice is get help don't suffer alone
I look forward to the time when all sickness will done away with. "And no resident will say: “I am sick.” The people dwelling in the land will be pardoned for their error." Isa 33:24
When I was 15 in 2002 my mom sent me to a therapist. I had lost 40lbs in 2months. I didn't know the "therapist" was actually my mothers friend from church. She asked me why I thought I was there on my 1st visit and I said my mother thinks I'm anorexic. She laughed at me and said, "Well you're not thin enough to be anorexic." I never forgot it and after about 5 months I figured out she wasn't a real therapist bc all my conversations were used against me by my mom and I finally heard her talking to the lady on the phone. The next session my mother went in with me and began telling the "therapist" that I was a disrespectful child with defiant opposition disorder bc I won't brush my hair the way she taught me. I told them that I was finished with therapy and they are absolutely nuts if they think me choosing to do something in a different way was disobedient and disrespectful and you may make me come sure but I won't say another word bc I know you're telling my mother what we talk about and it's wrong. She never took me to another "session" again and when I bring it up she acts like it never happened and says it's not in my medical records so I'm obviously lying. Can you see why I lost so much weight so quickly?
I honestly don't know if I have a eating disorder. I definitely related to eating to feel something
Me to when I eat I always feel full
Idk I might be addicted to eating ass, maybe I have an eating disorder?
@@secondaccount142 perhaps
@@secondaccount142You got Kevin Gates syndrome.
try drugs
My friend has an eating disorder and it all she talks about glad she’s getting real help in June
I have anorexia but not because I think I'm fat. It's my form of control when my life is stressful (stressful relationship, dad dying etc). I don't want to do it anymore because I look ghastly, but I've done it for so long that I now don't have an appetite anymore and I don't know how to make it come back.
Please do a whole series with her!! We need more info about this then what the mainstream thought is of eating disorders thank you
I think a lot of times the first thing that starts disordered eating is going on a diet....any diet....any diet that says you can't have something, whether it be a whole food group, or an ingredient, etc....then of course you want it....or those diets that say you have to eat a certain way except 1 hour a day....you would be surprised how much "forbidden" food you can binge on in an hour.....and then, the disordered eating starts the long cycle of restricting and bingeing and guilt and shame and then you eat to stuff the feelings down.....So, long story short.....don't follow any "experts" advice on the "only way to eat"....it is a trap....so many people on social media have "the only way"....Do yourself a favor and find out what foods agree with you and what foods don't....so you can not only feel your best, but mentally you can make the decisions necessary to deal with the stuff that comes up in life and not have to use food (either bingeing or restricting) to cope....May God help us all!
I’m happy she talks about ARFID because I’ve suffered for the past 2 years and I stopped seeing a therapist, I gave up because it wasn’t helping. It’s a shitty place to be in, society thinks an eating disorder is just teen girls who want to be skinny but it’s SO much deeper than that!!
This is all true.
Perhaps
@@-fragile- for all one knows.
Wish I could send this to the aunt and uncle who traumatized us at dinner for two straight years since they genuinely think they did nothing wrong
I tried to get my energy from the sun but I get hungry still - so I have to eat food .
you have to learn from breathatarians