Juice - The Life and Death of a Alcoholic Part 5 of 5

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  • Опубликовано: 5 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 102

  • @ValeskaTruax
    @ValeskaTruax 6 месяцев назад +5

    You are so incredibly well-spoken and compassionate.

    • @sistercarrie
      @sistercarrie 6 месяцев назад +3

      Thank you. Your comment means a lot to me. The comments for this series aren't always kind.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  5 месяцев назад

      Thank you

  • @bluetune9423
    @bluetune9423 7 месяцев назад +16

    I am a veteran in a very simular situation as your brother was. I am currently in a VA dom. Program.. Have to leave here soon and as of today dont know where i am gonna live.. I am sober though with 78 days clean.. No family help at all. Would have loved to have you as a sister.. Take care

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  7 месяцев назад +9

      Congratulations on your 78 days! I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this as well. My brother did so well while he was in the dom, but as soon as he was out he couldn't cope. I feel very strongly about how the VA and the government treat veterans. No vet should have to worry about being homeless or feeling like a burden by going from family/friends to others. My thoughts are with you and hope you continue to do well. Also, thank you for recognizing that I did all I could to help, given the situation. I don't always get very good comments.

    • @bluetune9423
      @bluetune9423 7 месяцев назад +4

      Don't worry about the negative comments.. Focus on the positive ones. 👍

    • @hiddenhand6973
      @hiddenhand6973 Месяц назад

      Please use the internet to research vitamins and minerals that aid in alcoholism recovery. B1 for sure.

    • @caseycreel34
      @caseycreel34 11 дней назад

      @@bluetune9423 Hope you’re still doing well brother! Hold strong!

    • @lilydawn365
      @lilydawn365 6 дней назад

      Aww

  • @deborahsmith-dumonceaux2282
    @deborahsmith-dumonceaux2282 7 месяцев назад +6

    God Bless You, PennyAnn. You are such a sensitive soul. Justin was lucky to have you as his sister.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  7 месяцев назад

      Thank you. These comments make the time and effort it took to make these videos worth it. I get too many that only listened to one part of the series and get a totally wrong opinion on the situation.

  • @bigcub62
    @bigcub62 10 месяцев назад +18

    Had the same experience with my brother. He had died two weeks before we found him. I could not recognize him. He had drank himself to death. I remember him everyday. His cremated remains are with me today. I miss him everyday.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  8 месяцев назад +7

      I have some of my brother's remains in a necklace I wear. I visit his urn at Jefferson Barracks and talk to him. I didn't realize how much I'd miss him. It was weird. Logically I knew he was dying but my brain couldn't handle it and I simultaneously thought he'd come out ok.

  • @virginiastevens3782
    @virginiastevens3782 Год назад +23

    This man was a service person, thank you for his service to his country. This saddens me his life was so painful.
    To live with a person with an alcoholic condition is very hard. Unless you have walked in their shoes you cannot understand.
    The heart break in her voice is so noticeable.
    My heart goes to you all.
    God bless him.❤️🙏🇬🇧

    • @tiahenry4743
      @tiahenry4743 3 месяца назад +3

      Coming out of the military, many have come with severe PTSD. I'm surprised Penny didn't mention that that could have been the case for his drinking.

  • @Tracey..H
    @Tracey..H 10 месяцев назад +11

    Ty Justin for your service to the USA. Life IS NOT easy. Addiction has no answer, except for me, Jesus Christ healed me of alcoholism on a barstool ❤…. Nothing else worked. I’m living w an alcoholic now and it’s going to end bad

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  8 месяцев назад +4

      Thank you for mentioning his service. I have a picture of him coming off the plane in his dress blue. The pride and confidence and strength shine through. That is how I like to remember him.

    • @hiddenhand6973
      @hiddenhand6973 Месяц назад

      Vitamins can help. Especially vitamin B1, fat soluble benfotiamine.

  • @Madocthevindicator
    @Madocthevindicator 11 месяцев назад +11

    Don't be hard on yourself. This was my story as well. I lived. People come to your funeral, when I was dying in the hospital no one came except my oldest son. God bless you for caring for him.

  • @dianecandoflamtaps9557
    @dianecandoflamtaps9557 11 месяцев назад +12

    Thank you. You sharing this story of your brother helps both those who are still suffering from alcoholism, and those who know someone suffering from alcoholism. ❤❤

  • @meloearth
    @meloearth Месяц назад +2

    I'm sorry for all you have been through. I have this spiritual plague in my family.
    I'd like to tell you that no one dies alone. There are spirit guides that come to assist. Also, death is a marvelous thing for the person who leaves. It's very sad for us who stay because we miss them. But if we knew how beautiful the place we go, we would feel happy for them. I also don't know if everyone goes to the place I have visited once. It was so beautiful and loving that I didn't want to return here...but here i am.
    I was just about to ask what happened to his dog when you started telling. I am SO GLAD he's safe and loved.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  Месяц назад +1

      Thank you for bringing up a more positive way of seeing such a sad thing. His dog, Turbo, was taken to the pound immediately after my brother's death, but I called all over and found him. We rented a car, picked him up and drove him from Cleveland to Kansas City. He even got to stay in a hotel for a night. He was adopted by a family friend. She drove from St. Louis to Kansas City and back. He lived a happy, healthy life with her. We went to visit him there once. We were so happy to see him there with someone that was close to my brother. It wasn't easy finding him and he almost was euthanized.

    • @meloearth
      @meloearth Месяц назад +1

      @@PennyAnn25 It's lovely to see that you cared. Lots of families don't care about the animals once a family member passes. I see it all the time. Breaks my heart because these animals grieve too. Thank you

  • @robertalbertson889
    @robertalbertson889 7 месяцев назад +6

    Thank you, PennyAnn, for sharing your story of Justin and yourself! I just happened upon your channel today, and I started watching your series about Justin's struggle and unfortunate passing 😞
    I'm a retired police officer from LAPD Los Angeles Police Department, so I've had thousands of experiences with alcoholics and the resulting issues around this terrible disease!
    My deepest condolences to you and your family for your loss of your brother, Justin! I personally thank Justin for his service to our country, and it's painfully obvious that war and the experience of military action can cause greater pain and suffering!
    I also suffer from PTSD from my past law enforcement career and experiences. I've never been involved with alcohol, and I haven't had an alcoholic beverage of any type since I was 21 years old, and I'm currently 63 years old now, so I feel both lucky and blessed thar I never had to endure the problems that come with alcohol ot the abuse of alcohol.
    I have lived full time in Bacolod City in the Philippines since 2018 after my retirement from the police department. So I watched your series about Justin from my living room so far away from you!
    I'm hoping and praying that you are doing well and that your memories of Justin have moved from sad thoughts to happy and pleasant ones since Justin's passing back in 2018. Stay strong, and I applaud you in sharing your story of Justin's struggle and the work you have done regarding your experience with bipolar disorder! Kudos to you, young lady 👏 🙌
    Again, saying hello and sending love and support from me in the Philippines to you back in the States

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  5 месяцев назад

      Thank you so much. Much has changed. We talk about the good times and the sober times. We talk about his beaming smile, loyalty to friends. I periodically go to Jefferson Barracks to visit his urn and talk to him. But that he died outside, without friends or family haunts me. Then I remember Turbo, his dog who stayed with him the entire time.

  • @debbemitchell4816
    @debbemitchell4816 9 месяцев назад +5

    Good work, good and faithful sister.

  • @Eric-ph4yw
    @Eric-ph4yw 3 года назад +12

    What a tragic story of Justin, heartbreaking the way everything turned out. It seems his inner demons of insecurity overtook every aspect of his life. I'll say a special pray for you and your family. You did a really great job on all 5 of this videos, thank you for sharing it with us.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  3 года назад +7

      Thank you. It was difficult, but I am glad I told his story. I'm going to need to do some lighter content for a bit.

  • @Tracey..H
    @Tracey..H 10 месяцев назад +5

    As an ex addict I can tell you-- the individual must chose sobriety. No person can do anything for someone unwilling to help themselves

  • @missmahnee
    @missmahnee 11 месяцев назад +7

    Very powerful, thank you for sharing

  • @jessicasurface7133
    @jessicasurface7133 11 месяцев назад +3

    I am so proud of you for standing up and sharing this with the world. Alcoholism is a very serious disease, I know from my own personal family struggles. This disease isn't the person. It affects so many people and their families. Bless you so much for sharing ❤

  • @sarahsmyth5383
    @sarahsmyth5383 2 года назад +11

    Such a good story teller just a pity this happened to your own brother 💔 😢

    • @sistercarrie
      @sistercarrie 2 года назад

      Thank you. It breaks my heart that he went through this.

  • @Tinachimneycreekfarm
    @Tinachimneycreekfarm 11 месяцев назад +3

    This must’ve been so heartbreaking for you and your mum to go through. Wishing you all peace and healing. ❤️‍🩹

  • @off-gridsimplyhappyrodriguez
    @off-gridsimplyhappyrodriguez 11 месяцев назад +4

    I wish I could hug you.
    I feel your pain
    I feel your pain baby.
    I'm here if you want to talk scream or cry.

  • @MissNevada08
    @MissNevada08 10 месяцев назад +2

    I think it is beautiful you shared his story.
    Alcohol has really hurt my family through generations...
    And those of us that live in the wake of the pain from it all, need eachother.
    I wish you well my friend.

  • @moparmissile
    @moparmissile 10 месяцев назад +4

    I stopped drinking in 2001. I had enough and everything gets better when you stop. There are challenges certainly but if you want to live your best life and alcohol causes problems for you then I highly recommend abstinence. Your health and mind will definitely improve. I find it hard now where people are drinking to excess around me, you hear the changes in their voices. I just leave and leave them to their poison session. Their logic and reasoning and emotions are shot at that point and the choice is easy.

  • @travelbug4536
    @travelbug4536 6 месяцев назад +3

    No one can live with a chronic alcoholic. You did your best.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  6 месяцев назад +2

      Thank you. Not everyone is as understanding.

    • @travelbug4536
      @travelbug4536 5 месяцев назад

      @@PennyAnn25 It's an awful thing. I keep thinking about Turbo. He must have suffered terribly 😥

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  5 месяцев назад

      Turbo must have been very confused and upset. On the positive side, he was adopted by a family friend who was close to Justin and went on to live a happy life. ❤

    • @travelbug4536
      @travelbug4536 5 месяцев назад

      @@PennyAnn25 I am so happy to hear that. Time is a great healer. Thank you for the sharing your story. Much love

    • @astrarai-thesobercoder
      @astrarai-thesobercoder 4 месяца назад

      ​@@PennyAnn25 sending you a virtual hug.

  • @elireinstadtler3794
    @elireinstadtler3794 11 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for sharing. You are a very brave person. I feel sorry for your loss. My father died from liver cancer in 96.. God bless you and your family.

  • @toddbutchko6794
    @toddbutchko6794 5 месяцев назад +1

    I feel your pain. I also lost a brother to this disease. My brother Joe had Hepatic Cirrhosis from alcohol abuse and passed in 2010. Even after 14 years, I still miss him.

  • @NickEfcMort
    @NickEfcMort 10 месяцев назад +2

    Best relationship to this day was meeting my fiancee on line..Both madly in love and happiest we have ever been in life!

  • @MyFavoriteColorIsBLUE
    @MyFavoriteColorIsBLUE 3 месяца назад +2

    You are a beautiful sister 💕 and I thank you for helping him. ❤ take care of yourself.

  • @gryffinberner
    @gryffinberner 10 месяцев назад +3

    What tragic story for Justin and for you and your Mom and all those who loved him.

  • @sharonburling2262
    @sharonburling2262 3 месяца назад +2

    So sorry for your loss of your brother Justin. Its so disrespectful for the government to treat its veterans with such disregard! Thrown out like yesterday's paper after all he'd been through! His alcohol was his medicine as well as his poison!

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  3 месяца назад

      @sharonburling2262 One of the things that made me so angry was my brother being denied disability. He was visibly very, very ill and obviously unable to work. He tried to go out and try to get a job but that only made him worse because he was told he had to do something he was incapable of doing. It messed with his right to live with dignity. Having to ask for help with money really affected his self-esteem. He would've needed someone to control his money but he would have had a better life.

  • @auggiequeenparker
    @auggiequeenparker 11 месяцев назад +1

    Your video showed up on my feed. I watched #4 & 5. So much of what you shared was like you were telling my story. Not only about your brother, but I was adopted by my dad when I was 2. He was the one I claimed as my dad. I met my biological father when I was older. I was actually afraid of my brother, he would get so mean at times and like you, the police were constantly at mom’s house. This went on for 20 years. He also suffers with anxiety , panic attacks and depression . He’s not gone to the doctor to find out about his health because if he doesn’t know then it doesn’t exist. One day he decided to stop drinking, he has gone back a few times but not like he was when he drank from the time he woke up until he pasted out at night. It’s so difficult when there’s nothing you can do to “fix” someone you love. He still has many issues mentally and physically but he’s still here. We worry about him always. Thanks for sharing your story, I now know my family is not the only one who has gone through this sad hell. 🤗🤗🤗

  • @tomhancock2753
    @tomhancock2753 11 месяцев назад +4

    Thank you for sharing

  • @colinchick2692
    @colinchick2692 11 месяцев назад +4

    The dog was definitely a service dog imo. So sorry that this happened to him and your family.

  • @silverbullet4055
    @silverbullet4055 10 месяцев назад +2

    Your story about your brother is tragic. Chronic addiction is tragic for those that have it, especially for those who care. If only it was as simple as a “flip of that switch” to the off position.

  • @nat9909
    @nat9909 4 месяца назад

    I feel so sad and guilty for having survived sometimes. Your brother seemed like a good human. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm coming up on 2 years off alcohol and his story sounds a lot like mine. I hope you and your family can heal from this tragedy, and I hope this video finds the right ears. It was incredibly brave of you to do. Thank you, and I am very, very sorry. 😢

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  4 месяца назад +1

      Thank you. And congratulations! He was a good human and that goodness will never be forgotten.

  • @tedohenderson
    @tedohenderson 4 месяца назад +2

    I thought this whole series was beautifully done. It’s a great tribute to your brother Justin. I loved how gentle your concluding message was both to/for alcoholics as well as their loved ones. Thanks for sharing this, it makes a difference.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  4 месяца назад +1

      @@tedohenderson Thank you so much for comment. I think about him all the time and visit his urn placement regularly to talk to him. His spot is always full of coins from visitors. I wanted to tell his story for so many reasons, if this series helps one person out was worth it.

  • @deannaandscottazevedo348
    @deannaandscottazevedo348 2 года назад +6

    Thank you for this healing series.

  • @zenabishop8956
    @zenabishop8956 3 месяца назад

    I don't feel oh, how lucky I am sober. I worked so hard to become sober, 27 years ago now. Family support helps❤

  • @ramonamateya350
    @ramonamateya350 3 месяца назад +4

    I am so sorry for all you have been through and the loss of your brother 🙏🏼❤️‍🩹. I lived with a functional alcoholic for 26 years. It was a rough life. We divorced 15 years ago. I tried to help a friend of my son, thought he had quit drinking, but found out in the end he got fired for drinking on the job and we told him he had to go in rehab or move out. That was about 5 years ago and he sadly passed away last year at 30 yrs old. So much sadness and pain surrounding addicts & addiction 😞 Another man in our community has been homeless for probably 20+ years. His mom used to come into our church and leave money for him and someone said, “how can a mother let her own son be homeless.” I said, “you have no idea what she has been through with him.” I still see him walking around with his backpack and I think he must be so tired of living this way. A person has to want help and to get well.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  3 месяца назад +1

      Thank you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. If people don't know, they don't know.

  • @eileenlocke7877
    @eileenlocke7877 11 месяцев назад +2

    I’m so sorry . I lost my baby bro to alcoholism . It’s so hard

  • @19katsandcounting
    @19katsandcounting 3 месяца назад +1

    We used to have mental institutions, which weren’t perfect but we need to bring better institutions back to help protect people from themselves, protect the community, and their families.

  • @corgigirl305
    @corgigirl305 8 месяцев назад +1

    I understand all too well. I am very sorry for your loss.

  • @brielleanyez7113
    @brielleanyez7113 4 месяца назад +1

    This is an amazing video on this subject. Hope you are doing ok now hun❤big hugs to you😊

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  4 месяца назад

      Thank you. Did you see all videos in the series? Didn't know if you noticed so I wanted to mention it.

  • @reneeriffle33
    @reneeriffle33 9 месяцев назад +1

    I empathize with your story, I also understand that thought the best thing to do was to spend money on necessities to show love, it’s unfortunate that his disease prevented your family from embracing him with love and companionship, it seems like that’s what he craved more than anything.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  8 месяцев назад

      We tried. His friends, families, brought him into their homes so he could get his life together. All with good intentions, but they did not understand the nature of the beast. One friend drank but said he'd kick my brother out if he didn't quit drinking and get a job. Our other brother tried, but they had a young son and didn't want their son to be a witness or be in danger. And there was danger. When we let him come to our home, the alcoholism had damaged his brain. He left the oven on, the stove top on, he had outbursts, hallucinating cats in our Christmas tree. My mom and I sobbed when we had to call the police. We cried when we took him to the ER and explained that he only thrives in structured environments. As soon as he is discharged he's gone in less than 24 hrs. We were dealing with the VA and they only offered treatment so many times, and the wait for a bed was long.

  • @tiahenry4743
    @tiahenry4743 3 месяца назад +1

    Justin did see his funeral. The soul stays on earth for forty days before it ascends.

    • @autistic.catholic.conver-pz5vp
      @autistic.catholic.conver-pz5vp 3 месяца назад +1

      Thank you. I feel him with me all the time actually. Especially when I visit his urn site at Jefferson Barracks. I talk to him all the time. I believe he is in Heaven with the other family members that have passed, so he's not alone. There has been so much loss in this family.

    • @Mrmallet777
      @Mrmallet777 28 дней назад

      Who told you this nonsense

  • @travelbug4536
    @travelbug4536 6 месяцев назад +1

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  • @jan_sobieski444
    @jan_sobieski444 4 месяца назад +1

    God bless you.

  • @Mrmallet777
    @Mrmallet777 28 дней назад +1

    Man poor guys got ptsd and just gets abandoned in a house to die a slow painful death

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  28 дней назад

      My brother lived in friend's and family's homes before he finally got an apartment close to the VA facilities he needed. Due his lying, stealing, psychotic and sometimes violent behavior, every friend and family that invited him into their homes couldnt let him stay in their homes. Many had young children they had to protect. I had to call his local police to check on him and he refused to go to the hospital. I told them he had to go but they wouldn't force him. He had social services meeting at him at his apartment. My oldest brother lived closer but he's an alcoholic too and they got into fist fights. That's when he got the apartment he'd been on a list for forever. When he lived with us, he almost burned our house down more than once. He stole my mom's debit card and sold our belongings for money for vodka. He stole her car and drove around drunk. I had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep my belongings from disappearing. On Christmas he threw our Christmas tree around the house because he saw cats in it. The police couldn't force him to leave because he'd been there 2 weeks and was now his residence. My dad couldn't have him because he is a recovering alcoholic himself and had just buried his alcoholic wife that he had to care for for years. I hope that explains some things for you, because that's the reality.

  • @debbieseibert2332
    @debbieseibert2332 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you💚

  • @JJ-eb8eu
    @JJ-eb8eu 10 месяцев назад

    All them people at his funeral but none to help when he was alive. So sad.

    • @NickEfcMort
      @NickEfcMort 10 месяцев назад +4

      Not that easy,the help starts with yourself and admitting you have a problem is the 1st step..Friends probably tried their hardest but some people just won't allow for the help playing down their situation or not wanting to believe it's a problem!!

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  8 месяцев назад +3

      Actually family and friends tried. Some brought him into their homes but he couldn't stay sober. There was no one else.

  • @heartstrummer
    @heartstrummer 8 месяцев назад +2

    How painful for you

  • @travelbug4536
    @travelbug4536 6 месяцев назад +1

    Poor dog.

  • @reverend20piece
    @reverend20piece Месяц назад +1

    💯❤🙏

  • @isabellegarcia9205
    @isabellegarcia9205 11 месяцев назад

    😢🙏🏼

  • @gailburns6024
    @gailburns6024 11 месяцев назад +2

    She is hard to listen to because she is so slow. Maybe is she wrote down notes to help her follow. Sorry for her loss.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  8 месяцев назад +3

      I have a medical condition that causes me to have trouble retrieving information.

    • @katalinaradi7472
      @katalinaradi7472 4 месяца назад

      You can change the speed of the video. There is a settings button in the up right corner on the screen.

  • @shannonstaats879
    @shannonstaats879 15 дней назад

    you were hurting him on purpose by not talking to him, rejecting him, shoving him around with your expectations of an unwell person. al-anon would have served you much better in how you treat him. of course he hid stuff from you - he wasn't capable of meeting your expectations. so you just abandined him. alanon would have shown you a better way. im sorry none of you got the appropriate help to deal wuth this. needlessly dead.

    • @PennyAnn25
      @PennyAnn25  15 дней назад +1

      I have been to Alateen meetings - not helpful. I attended Alanon and Adults Children of Alcoholics. Everyone being encouraged to remain in the past rather than learning how to move forward. I do disagree with you. By not talking to him when he was drunk was something I had to do to take care of myself. Growing up I was forced to be my mother's audience while she was drunk and depressed, for HOURS. I was a child. I knew she was lonely, but I also knew it wasn't appropriate and put me in an unfair position. My brother wasn't the first alcoholic I have had experience with. I've read books, been to meetings, was in therapy, in the hospital trying to untwist the pretzel I'd been tied into.

    • @shannonstaats879
      @shannonstaats879 14 дней назад

      @@PennyAnn25 it is complicated. it really all boils down to self-care for everyone. focus on yourself. im sorry if it seemed like i attacked you. addiction is on both sides of my family and i have seen sick people treated horribly even if they aren't addicts. that is the problem. treating ourselves and others horribly and justifying it as real life, being competitive, the best i can do. my husband died alone - and didn't have to. no he wasn't an alcoholic. he was a high achieving caring person who had an anneurysm at 50 and everyone just disappeared...busy busy busy. it is a socuetal issue. we throw people away and always have. but we can do better. you sharing your experience and insight truly helps us all understand better. thank you for sharing. i got s9ber at 45 ten years ago. i wish i had also gone to alanon because i have recently been slammed w realities of ci-dependency that i did not know were part of the problem. i made myself sick all over again by putting others needs first. and learbed a whole lot more about piwerlessness. you are brave. ty. addiction is an equal-opportunity destroyer. keep taking care of yourself and others by hav8ng the courage to share yourself with others. i felt bad for my comment and kept trying to get back here. I didn't realize you had replied. but ty for doing so.

  • @silverbullet4055
    @silverbullet4055 10 месяцев назад

    Sounds like a Chihuahua in the background; am I right?

  • @Protogorius
    @Protogorius Год назад +2

    How much he drink per day??????
    A fckn gallon of whiskey 😂

    • @dianecandoflamtaps9557
      @dianecandoflamtaps9557 11 месяцев назад

      Not funny! I don’t know who you are, but when you say heartless, nasty, and insanely disparaging remarks like this, it will eventually come back to haunt you and someday you will regret it! You should be ashamed. But usually, people like you have no shame, so good luck.

    • @off-gridsimplyhappyrodriguez
      @off-gridsimplyhappyrodriguez 11 месяцев назад

      Are you drinking a gallon a day?
      Disgusting
      Grow up and get help
      Stop harassing people