yup "i love you but not as much as you love me, even though i hold you all night long and squeeze you when you're near me for dear life" i cant stand it lol
Honestly if she were securely attached, she would go out and find somebody else who is securely attached instead of marrying a fearful avoidant that isn't doing his own homework. These relationships are terrible with fearful avoidance when they aren't working on themselves. Now she's going to have to struggle possibly for the rest of her life doing the vast majority of the relationship work. A secure person wouldn't put themselves in that position
@@djpdyson the idea is that healed people heal people. Eventually, when he starts feeling more secure, he’ll implement secure behaviors along the way. Most people have insecure attachments, there has to be room for folks to change
@@alyssiak. I don't believe in healed people heal people. It is nobody else's responsibility to heal another person. That's something they need to choose to do on their own. And as long as they don't choose that, you're beating a dead horse. In fact what I would call what you're referring to, codependency and enabling.
@@djpdyson good thing I didn’t say that. I said there should be space for folks to change. No one is coming into any space completely healed. Idk how you got codependent from that?
I feel like this was the most helpful podcast. I am still not sure that I want to get back with the ex, I do want to improve myself so I don’t encounter this moving forward.
This is exactly what I'm going thru now. Almost feels like I'm walking on eggshells and I haven't done nt wrong. Showed nothing but love even wen she's been the one who left me.
They want you buy the program. I bought the program and basically it is geared towards working on yourself to be more dependent which is what avoidants are attracted to. If you listen to this video again you will hear the nuances. Did you and your ex get back together?
@KeiyaHood yea we did it's going ok.. but do notice it's almost one sided where everything is on her. I like told her this weekend what am I getting out of this ? My therapist said the samething lol what ru getting out of this? Seems like she's the only one winning. So.. idk .
Also secure people don’t not feel nervous or anxious, they manage and react less and don’t feel the same amount of distress as an anxious. So many people imagine secure attachments as instant acceptance and ease, we are all human and life can be hard for us all.
Exactly what im going through right now, we dated for almost 2 years were planning on getting engaged. Exactly the same broke up twice before, she came back after 2 weeks the first time. Been in no contact for 6 weeks now, never broke it. NC was immediate, didnt even realise it.
This isn’t a typical case of ex-boyfriend recovery. Something makes me think he never truly left, and her original response of “I agree” is what caused the longer break. I believe that her doing the program helped make the process of getting him back (and keeping him) easier, but I suspect he didn’t need much convincing. I would like to hear stories where people didn’t get them back and what they would do differently if they had another shot.
Agreed. He was a flaky type it seems. The average FA, at least according to the very experienced Thais Gibson, needs to be confronted in a much more direct and honest way. Even though they have avoidant sides to them, they still need depth and emotions from their ex because they need to trust that their partner truely loves and wants them. I spoke to an a few days ago who nearly left a partner for good because she didn't trust his loved. she pushed him away, but he reassured her how much she meant to him and that he could be there for her. Just because an FA is vague in their love language doesn't mean they don't want this love said right to their face.
I’m in no contact with my SP right now, feels like I am the only one on the internet that it doesn’t bother or hurt ? 🤷♀️ he asked me not to contact him so I said ok sure- it’s his feelings for me that made him ask for it in the first place when he got triggered and fear of losing me overwhelms, I don’t feel like he’s gone or anything I just feel happy and in love, he’s not going anywhere and I think it helps him stay in his masculine cuz it feels more like a chase when he comes back, and in turn helps me stay in my feminine and plus it’s the only thing he ever asks me to do, so I don’t mind giving him space at all, that’s how men gain a sense of safety - maybe because we are both pretty independent? Or maybe just cuz I know it’s not a break up? I do use the time for self love and staying in touch with myself so maybe that’s it. Idk But it’s the most harmonious peaceful relationship I’ve ever been in, no arguing just the occasional difference of opinion. ❤ him 😊
If I dated only for 3 months do I have a chance to get him back? He blocked me everywhere :( . No comments about moving on. He still sees me at my work
Key things here. She did the get your ex back program and coaching in the Facebook group. 2. She did no contact for 45 days and I assume there was no reach out from her ex. 3. After the 45 days you are coached to reach out via text. This lasted for 5 1/2 weeks so about another 45 days 4. At 20:07 she starts to describe how she got him to call her. (This is usually the most difficult thing to do- getting the avoidant to engage on the phone and I am speaking from my own personal experience. )
Хобби
“What’s your secret (to not breaking no contact)?”
Being securely attached 😂
yup "i love you but not as much as you love me, even though i hold you all night long and squeeze you when you're near me for dear life" i cant stand it lol
This woman is clearly securely attached. She has her stuff together. I believe that's why she was able to accomplish what she wanted to accomplish.
She had an anxious attachment style she said, but she did her personal growth..
Honestly if she were securely attached, she would go out and find somebody else who is securely attached instead of marrying a fearful avoidant that isn't doing his own homework. These relationships are terrible with fearful avoidance when they aren't working on themselves. Now she's going to have to struggle possibly for the rest of her life doing the vast majority of the relationship work. A secure person wouldn't put themselves in that position
@@djpdyson the idea is that healed people heal people. Eventually, when he starts feeling more secure, he’ll implement secure behaviors along the way. Most people have insecure attachments, there has to be room for folks to change
@@alyssiak. I don't believe in healed people heal people. It is nobody else's responsibility to heal another person. That's something they need to choose to do on their own. And as long as they don't choose that, you're beating a dead horse. In fact what I would call what you're referring to, codependency and enabling.
@@djpdyson good thing I didn’t say that. I said there should be space for folks to change. No one is coming into any space completely healed. Idk how you got codependent from that?
I feel like this was the most helpful podcast. I am still not sure that I want to get back with the ex, I do want to improve myself so I don’t encounter this moving forward.
This is exactly what I'm going thru now. Almost feels like I'm walking on eggshells and I haven't done nt wrong. Showed nothing but love even wen she's been the one who left me.
They want you buy the program. I bought the program and basically it is geared towards working on yourself to be more dependent which is what avoidants are attracted to.
If you listen to this video again you will hear the nuances.
Did you and your ex get back together?
@KeiyaHood yea we did it's going ok.. but do notice it's almost one sided where everything is on her. I like told her this weekend what am I getting out of this ? My therapist said the samething lol what ru getting out of this? Seems like she's the only one winning. So.. idk .
Also secure people don’t not feel nervous or anxious, they manage and react less and don’t feel the same amount of distress as an anxious. So many people imagine secure attachments as instant acceptance and ease, we are all human and life can be hard for us all.
Perfect timing!
Exactly what im going through right now, we dated for almost 2 years were planning on getting engaged. Exactly the same broke up twice before, she came back after 2 weeks the first time.
Been in no contact for 6 weeks now, never broke it.
NC was immediate, didnt even realise it.
This isn’t a typical case of ex-boyfriend recovery. Something makes me think he never truly left, and her original response of “I agree” is what caused the longer break. I believe that her doing the program helped make the process of getting him back (and keeping him) easier, but I suspect he didn’t need much convincing.
I would like to hear stories where people didn’t get them back and what they would do differently if they had another shot.
He broke up with her twice! This was the second time and she was fed up because he did it by text both times..It was very legit in my opinion.
Agreed. He was a flaky type it seems. The average FA, at least according to the very experienced Thais Gibson, needs to be confronted in a much more direct and honest way. Even though they have avoidant sides to them, they still need depth and emotions from their ex because they need to trust that their partner truely loves and wants them. I spoke to an a few days ago who nearly left a partner for good because she didn't trust his loved. she pushed him away, but he reassured her how much she meant to him and that he could be there for her. Just because an FA is vague in their love language doesn't mean they don't want this love said right to their face.
I am trying to get someone back. They are avoidant and they bring out the anxiously attached in me. Nerve racking. Don't know what to do.
So awesome!!!
how long was the No contact
I’m in no contact with my SP right now, feels like I am the only one on the internet that it doesn’t bother or hurt ? 🤷♀️ he asked me not to contact him so I said ok sure- it’s his feelings for me that made him ask for it in the first place when he got triggered and fear of losing me overwhelms, I don’t feel like he’s gone or anything I just feel happy and in love, he’s not going anywhere and I think it helps him stay in his masculine cuz it feels more like a chase when he comes back, and in turn helps me stay in my feminine and plus it’s the only thing he ever asks me to do, so I don’t mind giving him space at all, that’s how men gain a sense of safety - maybe because we are both pretty independent? Or maybe just cuz I know it’s not a break up? I do use the time for self love and staying in touch with myself so maybe that’s it. Idk But it’s the most harmonious peaceful relationship I’ve ever been in, no arguing just the occasional difference of opinion. ❤ him 😊
I need to know how she is doing now
Like a tootsie roll pop. The world will never know. 🙁
Love love love
If I dated only for 3 months do I have a chance to get him back? He blocked me everywhere :( . No comments about moving on. He still sees me at my work
Any update
How come no is answering this? This is a good question
How do I access the program ?
www.exboyfriendrecovery.com You'll find the program in the products section
I need help with getting an avoidant back
Key things here.
She did the get your ex back program and coaching in the Facebook group.
2. She did no contact for 45 days and I assume there was no reach out from her ex.
3. After the 45 days you are coached to reach out via text. This lasted for 5 1/2 weeks so about another 45 days
4. At 20:07 she starts to describe how she got him to call her. (This is usually the most difficult thing to do- getting the avoidant to engage on the phone and I am speaking from my own personal experience. )