@@nickbruck1017 im scared I still wanna go to that same school it makes me happy being there, but i cant i need to be transfered to a new one, that i am not used to.. it is sad.
@@Karishma_Unspecified Honestly youtube is as much a social medium as you make it out to be. No one is forcing you to like, or subscribe, or follow (i don't anyways) or check some comments. I throw my own opinion into the sea of comments sometimes and don't even follow it as i have notifications off. To me youtube is just a place to watch free videos on content im interested in. For the most part there is nothing social about it on my end.
Last Time I had a really bad panic attack, as soon as I calmed down, I deleted all my social media apps from my phone, even if it hadn't trigger the attack. Really, social media can get you way down without you noticing.
I suffered a lot from FOMO, but I just stopped using Facebook a few year ago and I feel happier now, I don't need to know everything other people do and they don't need to know my stuff either, it really made me depressed.
I used to feel this a lot when I was in college and I had a cohesive group of friends who would regularly do social activities. Now that I'm in my 30's, I don't have a cohesive social group anymore, and I no longer experience FOMO in a social context. Now I'm more focused on finding the individuals who I most want to keep in my life, and maintaining those connections. I think having a single group of people who I spend most of my social time with, like I used to when I was younger, would feel stagnating to me at this stage of life.
I didn't realize this was also FOMO (the need of belonging). I thought it only was about the fear of missing out what's trendy or new... something more related to buying.
yeah i dont think they know what FOMO is lol. its like be scared of missing a concert or something and then the musician never playing again. or just missing out on an amazing time in general. it has nothing to do with not being invited.
For me, overcoming FOMO was about more open communication. I would sit here and think, "Alice and Bob will/are/were doing the fun thing without me. I guess they don't want me", but eventually I started asking myself why... why was I missing out? Well, what does it take to NOT miss out? Maybe they didn't invite me, but did I ask them if they wanted to do anything with me? No... I never really did. Never asked to hang out with them, never just said "hey I wanna do something with you", just sat here and waited for them to invite me to do stuff. It was giving me severe panic attacks at one point, so eventually I worked up the courage to ask one of my closer friends to just have a long drawn out conversation (more of a "lets take turn writing essays" kinda conversation. Slow, deliberate, honest, and respectful) It turned out, she stopped inviting me because she was worried that she was unfairly monopolizing all of my time, so she wanted to let me be free to do what I wanted. But her decrease in inviting me to do stuff with her, felt to me more like I was being neglected and unwanted, so in turn I withdrew from people more. She thought everything's fine because clearly, I'm doing what I want to do... not like she knew what I was really doing though. So we kept drifting farther apart from eachother, she thinking I didn't want to hang out because she takes too much time from me, and me thinking she doesn't want me. UNTIL we were completely open and honest about how we feel! Now I just force myself, if Im feeling a bit left out, to just say to her (or any friend) these simple words: "Hey I wanna do something with you!". I won't lie, starting that conversation, I felt like molten lead was surging through my veins with every heart beat. But the easiest part of doing something is after you've already started. the FOMO is still there, but now it's much more of an easy come, easy go feeling. Let this feeling drive you to just reach out! Atleast, I hope that helps someone, it helped me. ♥
Thank you! I’m trying to work through feelings of isolation as well. It was particularly bad about a year ago, and I’m trying to bring myself to communicate when I feel lonely. It really does help to take a step back!
When I see people I know doing things together I just feel left out. I’m talking about people I’ve interacted with a couple times, this makes me feel lonely cause I don’t have a huge friend group so yeah. :/
I totally understand what you mean.. I think the more we open up to people in general as well as stay open to new opportunities it gets so much better. I hope this helps!
The association between "FOMO" and "fight or flight response" made me giggle - now I'm imagining someone getting left out and being so sad they crash the event and start throwing punches
I use to have FOMO growing up (being a bit of a social outcast didn't help) and even into adulthood. Then I found happiness in life sucking and now I don't have FOMO (or depression) anymore. I am now very happy lone and doing my own thing. In fact I like being alone more then being part of a group. Because being alone means I can do what I want when I want and what is better than that? I don't have to think about or care what other people want or how they feel or about what they are thinking. It is a lot less tiring (being an introvert helps). I am much happier and have more energy and way less stress.
I don't usually feel FOMO as much as I feel DOMO, Depressed Over Missing Out. It's less like, "I need to hustle to be included in this," and more like, "Oh, they did that without me? K then, I'll just be here in room, playing a video game where I'm having my player-character drink alcohol and complain about problems with a digital bartender, while pretending I don't exist." Could this video's advice help with DOMO?
Hm. Is there an opposite? Like...a huge sense of relief when you realize that you don't have to show up at some big event that you see on social media? Like...ah man, thank goodness I wasn't invited to that party because turning it down would've been awkward but I really wouldn't have wanted to go... Whew!
This is literally me whenever I see celebrities pics at parties or vids of them having fun....i also feel like joining them....this also happens to me on TikTok. All these people living their best life makes me left out because I can't relate to none of them considering the fact that I have to stay home 24/7 cuz we ain't rich
Yep! it is.. best way is to leave social media forever like I did.. now I feel less fomo.. cuz If I'm not aware then I don't care. and got my life back in control! Now I control which people I want to hang out with in my terms. as simple as this :)
Ever shown someone a band or artist that they hate and refuse to listen to. Suddenly, you’re struggling to find a ride to that artist concert that THEY are attending with their new friend that doesn’t even listen to them and not you?
I can only explain how it is for myself. I dont connect to my peers but people older than me often see me as just a kid as well. Hence you dont connect at all. With such a small social circle up to non existent, feeling lonely from time to time is unavoidable. Even when you’re good at being alone. I dont have fomo luckily, but if you have the urge to wander through social media the way described in the video, the feeling of ‘why cant I have that’ is more present I guess than just ‘missing out’ with those people. There’s often a reason you dont hang out. :) hope this clarifies stuff.
I've been missing out on cool things since I was a little boy. I've gotten so used to it that it would feel weird not to miss out on cool things people are doing. Like, I was invited to a party but I legit don't want to go because it would feel bizzare actually being part of something.
For me its seeing and meeting very accomplished people and wondering why I've wasted so much time bouncing between doing self care and being paralyzed by choices.
I'm not on any social media (with the sole exception of RUclips) and could not possibly care less if I'm missing out on something. Billions of people on the planet doing things 24/7. I'm not involved in a sh@tload of stuff. I'm involved in my own stuff doing what I want to be doing at the time. That's good enough for me.
How to beat FOMO: stop trying to follow every freaking thing and every freaking one. The internet might not have created FOMO, but it sure as hell makes it a billion times worse if you let it.
@@weregretohio7728 if you mean you have utmost contempt for world then, k be you. (Though I suggest you to educate yourself to see all posibilities of life) But if you talk about me then naw, I'm not escaping world, I'm not nihilist . I just can't get friends because of many reasons which isn't socializing.
This was pretty eye opening. I stay off social media for long periods of time and I deliberately don’t watch people’s stories on Instagram because I don’t want to get sucked in! But low and behold I accidentally tapped on someone’s Instagram story and saw that they were hanging out with another mutual friend 🙄 I instantly got annoyed (something I need to work on) and it reminded me why I need to stay offline.
doesnt sound like you need to stay online, sounds like you need to talk to a therapist...no offense cause been there done that but there no reason you have to feel like that
I feel pressure to join every event and interaction to not miss out man. It’s crazy but as I get older I don’t feel obligated and need to interact with everyone. People come and go. After I meet as much people as I can I only hang out with my close friends
I wonder how this may present in children. Say the local day camp planned a field trip to a water park. Everyone is going except one 5 year old boy whose ADHD makes him "unsafe."
For years I wondered what was the cause of my unhappiness. Random moments of sadness would get to me for apparently no reason. One day it hit me - FOMO. ****** that ****** - I'm no worse off for missing out on trivial mundane stuff. My life is so much better without it👍
This can be solved by simply not having any friends. The only thing you'll have a fear of missing out on is jeopardy at 7:30 because you were busy trying to find that missing puzzle piece that your cat probably ate.
Twenty thousand years ago, people who weren't popular with the group couldn't depend on help to come running if they were attacked by a saber-tooth tiger. Technology advanced; our brains haven't.
I know that I miss out on a lot of things, but I can't be everywhere and even if I could, it wouldn't be fun. I don't care that my friends hang out without me. I genuinely like being around friends, but for me it's just as nice as being completely alone
I dont have FOMO with my friends. I have it with online video games. I have a constant fear of everyone else getting more gear or finishing and raids and ill be missing out. Its taking a huge toll on my family and my physical health
I thought FOMO meant going to every event/night out etc because of the fear of missing out on something fun? Like you don't go out one night and stay in, and the next day your friends tell you about how it was the best night ever and they met your favourite celebrity and "man I can't believe you missed it!"
Today my classmates decided to go get some churros after class and i did get invited at the end but i just… couldn’t go. I felt so sad and stressed and i just felt so anxious that i turned down the invitation, they just seem to be so tight and i am more of an outcast and i literally suck at socializing so my fear got the best out of me and damn.. i feel so stupid. My boyfriend is a part of this group and i just wish i was able to make him laugh as much as those girls and i just knew he felt something because i said no, i doubt he hates me but he probably thinks i’m weird… i just wish it was easier and i wish to make him happy and make friends with them but.. i’m scared of messing up and saying something so cringy or just not knowing what to say, scared of looking and acting stupid and most importantly scared of not belonging.. if i reject them first they can’t reject me or so i tell myself but then i feel so lonely.. mom said i have more chances to befriend them but i.. just wish me luck fellow socially anxious people, i need all the help i can get haha
From my experience and research, humans may be one of the most social primates, but they're not the most socially dependent. Ring-tailed lemurs (Lemur catta) are even more socially dependent. Most freak out when socially isolated unless conditioned from an early age to handle it. And for them, solitary life is a death sentence outside of captivity, whereas tribal humans can survive (i.e. walkabouts, etc).
FOMO is the reason I drank away the 2000's, everybody would talk about these crazy nights, never seemed to happen to me though and I wanted some wild times. Then one night, I was there for all the crazy $;*t that happened over the course of the evening. Although I didn't know it was crazy $;*t, to me it was just a Tuesday, nothing special. Turns out my threshold for crazy $;*t is way off the scale because I was so used to it all. That was the last time I ever felt FOMO. Haven't drank in almost a decade and I know full well I ain't missing $;*t.
Sooo, I watched another video not too long ago where this guy was talking about social media literally creating a rift in our species where the part that used social media would have one sort of psychology and the part that didn't had another sort of psychology. Everything in this video is buzzing with stuff that's relative to those who use social media. Up until a few months ago I was an avid user of facebook and instagram, but weaned myself off both by uninstalling the apps and treating them like an addiction instead of harmless entertainment. I now have facebook installed on my phone and only use it for marketplace and use the messenger app to talk to people. Where I'm going with this also is that I used to be very fearful of missing out, mainly because instead of only having the option to engage with people person to person via messenger, as in not having the option to pop into their page, see what they'd shared and chosen whether or not to leave a comment I simply didn't know what they'd been up to and had to ask them. Boom, no feelings of FOMO because the only way I could've known what they were up to was by asking them. Actually it's not that there's no FOMO because occasionally I'll have to say no to doing something cool because I don't have enough money and they'll tell me that it's cool and later they'll tell me they've done it with somebody else but they hope I can come next time. That's a pretty normal level of FOMO in my opinion though as opposed to the increased anxiety from literally watching people's lives online with no obligation to engage. PS I talk to these people offline doing the same thing as well lol. Messenger is a sort of a middle ground between facebook and talking face to face to me.
4:07 - 4:23 I wonder if the stress of appearing better diminishes self-worth as well because you're aware you're perpetuating a lie. Does a polished self-presentation create a stress response?
I think that just focusing on yourself isn't that good. I mean as you guys explained at the beginning, we feel bad because we yearn connection. I started one step at a time, and ended up at the therapist and it has helped me a lot. Although this is complexly maddening, and everyone is different.
I don't worry about missing out, it hurt more when I found out someone I looked up to lied to me for years. The pain kinda hardened me, made me be less empathetic, care less about other people...
Is there a psychological link where you are suppose to do a simple task but trying to the task or attempt you feel physical pain and restraint? Example: I try to clean my room i start getting headaches and body feels sore before i even start and body starts resisting in doing task like anxiety.
I don't have social media. Nor do I have a social life. I just press the "join game" button and the matchmaking system will find people to play with for me. And the best part, I can mute them if they're annoying ^^ Real life really needs a mute button. And an "avoid as teammate" option would be nice as well.
I don't use any of the social medias, so I don't typically find out about it when ppl get together without me - therefore no FOMO for me! ...... usually.
If you see your friends partying and had no clue about it, and you're not there, they aren't your friends. People need to learn the difference and know how to compartmentalize real friends from strangers. You may know all about Jane, but you don't KNOW Jane and she could care less.
I disagree. Sometimes people can get together spontaneously with whoever happens to be there at the moment, or someone invited them to do something who is friends with them but not friends with you. A lot of things can happen that cause people to gather and not invite every member of their inner circle. It doesn't mean they don't want to spend time with you. I think getting out of the "clique" mindset is one of the keys to overcoming FOMO.
I was seven when Cameo released 'Word Up' - I was the ideal age to enjoy it fully without needing to be ironic. And there was nothing before or since Word Up. Most people have missed out in my view.
It's weird cos I've never really had a frequent fomo. Most of the time I'm happier by myself, chilling. Only time I feel a strong inclination to do something I dont really wanna do is if doing so makes someone else happy or if not doing so makes them sad. Like going to a friends birthday party even though I'm tired as crap, but know he wants me there and I might make his day. Idk, I just think I've always not really cared for social events so missing out on one has never been a big issue for me.
"So the next time you find yourself wishing you could experience what others have in your social media feed, unplug and focus on yourself by experiencing something that makes /you/ feel joy instead." ...yeah uh the problem with that is the only things that bring me actual joy either require another person/other people (performing, positive affirmation, receiving gifts, sex) or are random encounters I cannot control the occurrence of (ie encountering some neat animal when on a walk, such as an interesting spider, a hawk, or a stray cat), so I'm literally stuck when I experience FOMO. There is nothing that can take away the intensity of the pain of being alone, unliked, a failure, ect. Except death I guess but I've learned from my multiple hospitalizations that I am Not Allowed to make the suffering stop, so I don't even bother with that anymore
FOMO with me has been mostly about school and career. FOMO is the reason I settled on pursuing a Math PhD, the most important and best decision I ever made in my life. Because, I said, if I am allowed to choose to do ONLY ONE THING in this life, then I will choose the ONE thing that CONNECTS TO ABSOLUTELY EVERY OTHER THING.
Yeaah do that try to focus on yourself great advice when someone is likely experiencing inferiority complex and low self-esteem leading him to FOMO..How amazing!
Fomo dates back to the age of tribes . There were not so many middle grounds of suburban environments either you were rural or surrounded by people . In the development of suburban areas , early industrial England shows us . We separate ourselves into sets based on favored idealisms . (Sets can turn into cultures) modern American school systems shows us just what kind of extremes we can come across with this concept . We're boiling to a point to majority of our social media lovers and our crowd drawn individuals have a very suburban lifestyle . We all have our own perceptions of good and bad and we want to be apart of that idealistic group . Finding acceptance from the individuals we admire gives us a gratification that we are accomplishing the goals we set for ourselves. Social behaviors have been made to seem so easy that if we're not able to get that flattery, we see faults in our own phycology . That leads us to believe we need to reevaluate our goals . If we are unable to find fault in our process we become depressed from the hopelessness , we feel in finding a cure for the conflict . Depression can physically assault our immune systems leading us to become ill and malnourished .. Just because we're thinking to much about the acceptance of the individuals we admire and hope to obtain mimicry.
My idea of fun doesn't match up with what most people seem to enjoy. The only thing I have left to do is a three week or longer road trip from California to Alaska. It might never happen, and I'm good with that. I've been to some amazing places in my life, so I'm pretty content in that area.
Weird question but how often do ppl generally hang out with friends? I’m introverted so I try to be with other people just 1-2 evenings per week but it seems like everyone around me hangs out with friends p much every single day.
sattheer if you have 100 friends/ people who’s feeds you see, you’ll see a lot of people hanging out with eachother, even if none of those individuals are hanging out that often, it’s just Bc you’re connected to so many feeds
literally crying for minutes now because I just said no to a family vacation that I've been looking forward to for days just because of exams and school
I have this problem with my family cause I always love to watch shows with them but we always tend to stay up way too much. And I am trying to get a better sleep schedule
you forget one crucial thing, you don't need friends to feel this, just by seeing others with their "better" life your fomo increased
yes
The book "30 Days to Overcome Fear of Missing Out" is helpful
Yep
yeah FOMO doesnt have to do with not getting invited to things.
@@nickbruck1017 im scared
I still wanna go to that same school it makes me happy being there, but i cant i need to be transfered to a new one, that i am not used to.. it is sad.
I'm not on social media and still feel this some times... just goes to show you that you can feel excluded either ways! Lol.
RUclips is a social medium.
@@spiguy I like your use of the singular form of media. Kudos
Same
@@spiguy Valid point... but it doesn't feel like it somehow...
Meh!
(Also... I've never gotten so many likes on a comment! Yay!)
@@Karishma_Unspecified Honestly youtube is as much a social medium as you make it out to be. No one is forcing you to like, or subscribe, or follow (i don't anyways) or check some comments. I throw my own opinion into the sea of comments sometimes and don't even follow it as i have notifications off. To me youtube is just a place to watch free videos on content im interested in. For the most part there is nothing social about it on my end.
*You cant have FOMO if you dont have friends.*
*cries in the corner*
"I am a rock, I am an island."
FOMO on friends
just by crying in the corner means your FOMO is gigantic.
I don't have friends, but I don't miss it. Friends were never good for me.
Yeah you can. I know from personal experience.
The only person you can ever truly
compare yourself to is your former self
Comparing yourself to someone else
is an exercise in futility.
Last Time I had a really bad panic attack, as soon as I calmed down, I deleted all my social media apps from my phone, even if it hadn't trigger the attack. Really, social media can get you way down without you
noticing.
Watching this video instead of joining friends who are downtown at the moment.
*_I'm in this video and I don't like it_*
I suffered a lot from FOMO, but I just stopped using Facebook a few year ago and I feel happier now, I don't need to know everything other people do and they don't need to know my stuff either, it really made me depressed.
Omg this is so relevant. I have such awful fomo all the time to the point that i self-isolate to avoid feeling it. I needed this
To find out how to overcome FOMO, be sure not to miss this video. If you do you'll regret it!
😂sassy...u guys are mean...
I used to feel this a lot when I was in college and I had a cohesive group of friends who would regularly do social activities. Now that I'm in my 30's, I don't have a cohesive social group anymore, and I no longer experience FOMO in a social context. Now I'm more focused on finding the individuals who I most want to keep in my life, and maintaining those connections. I think having a single group of people who I spend most of my social time with, like I used to when I was younger, would feel stagnating to me at this stage of life.
It is great being an introvert. :'D
"Oh, people didn't invite me? Heck yeah!"
even as an introvert i have fomo
Looks at phone: *Notification on Snapchat*
Me: Oooh what could it be?
*Sees photo of friends in Area 51 with aliens*
Me: What.. :( *FOMO sets in*
I didn't realize this was also FOMO (the need of belonging). I thought it only was about the fear of missing out what's trendy or new... something more related to buying.
For something to be an actual _fear_ of someone, it has to affect them enough to cause negative physiological or psychological reactions.
yeah i dont think they know what FOMO is lol. its like be scared of missing a concert or something and then the musician never playing again. or just missing out on an amazing time in general. it has nothing to do with not being invited.
For me, overcoming FOMO was about more open communication. I would sit here and think, "Alice and Bob will/are/were doing the fun thing without me. I guess they don't want me", but eventually I started asking myself why... why was I missing out? Well, what does it take to NOT miss out? Maybe they didn't invite me, but did I ask them if they wanted to do anything with me? No... I never really did. Never asked to hang out with them, never just said "hey I wanna do something with you", just sat here and waited for them to invite me to do stuff. It was giving me severe panic attacks at one point, so eventually I worked up the courage to ask one of my closer friends to just have a long drawn out conversation (more of a "lets take turn writing essays" kinda conversation. Slow, deliberate, honest, and respectful)
It turned out, she stopped inviting me because she was worried that she was unfairly monopolizing all of my time, so she wanted to let me be free to do what I wanted. But her decrease in inviting me to do stuff with her, felt to me more like I was being neglected and unwanted, so in turn I withdrew from people more. She thought everything's fine because clearly, I'm doing what I want to do... not like she knew what I was really doing though. So we kept drifting farther apart from eachother, she thinking I didn't want to hang out because she takes too much time from me, and me thinking she doesn't want me. UNTIL we were completely open and honest about how we feel! Now I just force myself, if Im feeling a bit left out, to just say to her (or any friend) these simple words: "Hey I wanna do something with you!".
I won't lie, starting that conversation, I felt like molten lead was surging through my veins with every heart beat. But the easiest part of doing something is after you've already started. the FOMO is still there, but now it's much more of an easy come, easy go feeling. Let this feeling drive you to just reach out! Atleast, I hope that helps someone, it helped me. ♥
Thank you for your comment!
Thank you! I’m trying to work through feelings of isolation as well. It was particularly bad about a year ago, and I’m trying to bring myself to communicate when I feel lonely. It really does help to take a step back!
Kitty Beans Thanks for taking the time to write this... it was a nice read ✨
Thank you for sharing this! Super helpful xx
When I see people I know doing things together I just feel left out. I’m talking about people I’ve interacted with a couple times, this makes me feel lonely cause I don’t have a huge friend group so yeah. :/
I totally understand what you mean.. I think the more we open up to people in general as well as stay open to new opportunities it gets so much better. I hope this helps!
I Kano it’s a year later but I feel the same way! Now I have a bigger friend group but I feel just as much fomo but in different ways.
The association between "FOMO" and "fight or flight response" made me giggle - now I'm imagining someone getting left out and being so sad they crash the event and start throwing punches
...that literally does happen.
@@greensteve9307 but like - _[crying and punching]_ "Why do you never invite me??!?!"
"giggles" I'm in danger
sometimes idk if im in fomo or if i'm just naturally sad
I use to have FOMO growing up (being a bit of a social outcast didn't help) and even into adulthood. Then I found happiness in life sucking and now I don't have FOMO (or depression) anymore. I am now very happy lone and doing my own thing. In fact I like being alone more then being part of a group. Because being alone means I can do what I want when I want and what is better than that? I don't have to think about or care what other people want or how they feel or about what they are thinking. It is a lot less tiring (being an introvert helps). I am much happier and have more energy and way less stress.
I don't usually feel FOMO as much as I feel DOMO, Depressed Over Missing Out.
It's less like, "I need to hustle to be included in this," and more like, "Oh, they did that without me? K then, I'll just be here in room, playing a video game where I'm having my player-character drink alcohol and complain about problems with a digital bartender, while pretending I don't exist."
Could this video's advice help with DOMO?
Hm. Is there an opposite? Like...a huge sense of relief when you realize that you don't have to show up at some big event that you see on social media? Like...ah man, thank goodness I wasn't invited to that party because turning it down would've been awkward but I really wouldn't have wanted to go... Whew!
RAMO - Relief at missing out. Definitely didn't just make that up.
(Now I'll just make my way over to urban dictionary...)
JOMO. The joy of missing out.
Lmaooo
This is literally me whenever I see celebrities pics at parties or vids of them having fun....i also feel like joining them....this also happens to me on TikTok. All these people living their best life makes me left out because I can't relate to none of them considering the fact that I have to stay home 24/7 cuz we ain't rich
Yep! it is.. best way is to leave social media forever like I did.. now I feel less fomo.. cuz If I'm not aware then I don't care. and got my life back in control! Now I control which people I want to hang out with in my terms. as simple as this :)
I thought FOMO meant "Fear Of Multiple Orgasms" but hey, I'm not a psychologist.
XD
Come again?!
@@ShermanistDruid Precisely!
Why would you fear that lol
Well. I wouldn't
Ever shown someone a band or artist that they hate and refuse to listen to. Suddenly, you’re struggling to find a ride to that artist concert that THEY are attending with their new friend that doesn’t even listen to them and not you?
3:20 But, if I don't feel connected to my peers, why would I care if I'm being left out?
Survival instinct, i guess.
You’re clearly connected to them then. If you truly didn’t care you wouldn’t have it
I can only explain how it is for myself. I dont connect to my peers but people older than me often see me as just a kid as well. Hence you dont connect at all. With such a small social circle up to non existent, feeling lonely from time to time is unavoidable. Even when you’re good at being alone. I dont have fomo luckily, but if you have the urge to wander through social media the way described in the video, the feeling of ‘why cant I have that’ is more present I guess than just ‘missing out’ with those people. There’s often a reason you dont hang out. :) hope this clarifies stuff.
Maybe they used to be your friends :/
that happens when someone want to fit in, which is a natural human feeling that everyone have had even once.
I've been missing out on cool things since I was a little boy.
I've gotten so used to it that it would feel weird not to miss out on cool things people are doing.
Like, I was invited to a party but I legit don't want to go because it would feel bizzare actually being part of something.
I ditched social media and it has made me a much happier person.
I love you Brit
Poster27 yup true
For me its seeing and meeting very accomplished people and wondering why I've wasted so much time bouncing between doing self care and being paralyzed by choices.
I feel like I have a constant state of FOMO
I'm not on any social media (with the sole exception of RUclips) and could not possibly care less if I'm missing out on something. Billions of people on the planet doing things 24/7. I'm not involved in a sh@tload of stuff. I'm involved in my own stuff doing what I want to be doing at the time. That's good enough for me.
How to beat FOMO: stop trying to follow every freaking thing and every freaking one. The internet might not have created FOMO, but it sure as hell makes it a billion times worse if you let it.
This sounds like a -first world- _extroverted people_ issue. (/s)
Not necessarily - FOMO applies to many things. News, politics, local events, the latest video games, the latest episode, the latest hit single, etc.
@@sebastianelytron8450 Sorry, I forgot to indicate there was sarcasm (fixed now).
@@adolfodef today I learnt about /s. I haven't seen this before. Or at least if I have I haven't been aware of it.
F2P games run on FOMO, if you don't keep working on what you've done so far it's all for nought.
Pokemon Go runs in fomo
Nice to be introverted person and have no friends nearby, and have no FOMO
Three Dio u right u right
Also that and wanting to escape the world because you have the utmost contempt for everything in it.
@@weregretohio7728 if you mean you have utmost contempt for world then, k be you. (Though I suggest you to educate yourself to see all posibilities of life)
But if you talk about me then naw, I'm not escaping world, I'm not nihilist . I just can't get friends because of many reasons which isn't socializing.
I believe we want/need a sitcom episode of the scenario that was presented at the start of the video.
This was pretty eye opening. I stay off social media for long periods of time and I deliberately don’t watch people’s stories on Instagram because I don’t want to get sucked in! But low and behold I accidentally tapped on someone’s Instagram story and saw that they were hanging out with another mutual friend 🙄 I instantly got annoyed (something I need to work on) and it reminded me why I need to stay offline.
this literally happened to me today!! well no more ig stories for me lol
doesnt sound like you need to stay online, sounds like you need to talk to a therapist...no offense cause been there done that but there no reason you have to feel like that
I feel pressure to join every event and interaction to not miss out man. It’s crazy but as I get older I don’t feel obligated and need to interact with everyone. People come and go. After I meet as much people as I can I only hang out with my close friends
Can you guys do a video about the psychological effects of chronic illness?
i moved this summer and just seeing those pictures on my the group chat in on with my friends hurts so bad.
I have FOMO as physically so called friends have made me feel left out and the anxiety has increases trying to overcome and enjoy my own company❤
So if you don’t have friends, are you immune to fomo, or do you have the worst and most severe version of it? 🤔
Uhh... asking for a friend.
Talk with your parents or relatives rather than scrolling through feeds. Everyone has FOMO but how you face it makes it a problem.
Thing is i feel fomo with even watching tv and movies, i wish i could have the same friendships and lives as the characters on the tv...
FOMO...the emotion centered around the realization you're not as important as you think.
5:43 Well played SciShow, well played.
I wonder how this may present in children. Say the local day camp planned a field trip to a water park. Everyone is going except one 5 year old boy whose ADHD makes him "unsafe."
For years I wondered what was the cause of my unhappiness. Random moments of sadness would get to me for apparently no reason. One day it hit me - FOMO. ****** that ****** - I'm no worse off for missing out on trivial mundane stuff. My life is so much better without it👍
To overcome, we need to understand “emptiness “ as nothing actually can be missed out :)
This can be solved by simply not having any friends.
The only thing you'll have a fear of missing out on is jeopardy at 7:30 because you were busy trying to find that missing puzzle piece that your cat probably ate.
*Yes, I need this!*
Wait, I'm on my phone again...
We talked about this in Spanish class and it helped me figure things out
Spanish class coming in clutch with the random tangents 😂
Twenty thousand years ago, people who weren't popular with the group couldn't depend on help to come running if they were attacked by a saber-tooth tiger.
Technology advanced; our brains haven't.
Great Video, that connected and summerized some of the topics i dealed with lately. Greatings from Germany :)
I know that I miss out on a lot of things, but I can't be everywhere and even if I could, it wouldn't be fun. I don't care that my friends hang out without me. I genuinely like being around friends, but for me it's just as nice as being completely alone
I dont have FOMO with my friends. I have it with online video games. I have a constant fear of everyone else getting more gear or finishing and raids and ill be missing out. Its taking a huge toll on my family and my physical health
Destiny 2?
I thought FOMO meant going to every event/night out etc because of the fear of missing out on something fun? Like you don't go out one night and stay in, and the next day your friends tell you about how it was the best night ever and they met your favourite celebrity and "man I can't believe you missed it!"
Yeah, me too! I was very confused that she used it differently
Today my classmates decided to go get some churros after class and i did get invited at the end but i just… couldn’t go. I felt so sad and stressed and i just felt so anxious that i turned down the invitation, they just seem to be so tight and i am more of an outcast and i literally suck at socializing so my fear got the best out of me and damn.. i feel so stupid.
My boyfriend is a part of this group and i just wish i was able to make him laugh as much as those girls and i just knew he felt something because i said no, i doubt he hates me but he probably thinks i’m weird… i just wish it was easier and i wish to make him happy and make friends with them but.. i’m scared of messing up and saying something so cringy or just not knowing what to say, scared of looking and acting stupid and most importantly scared of not belonging.. if i reject them first they can’t reject me or so i tell myself but then i feel so lonely.. mom said i have more chances to befriend them but i.. just wish me luck fellow socially anxious people, i need all the help i can get haha
From my experience and research, humans may be one of the most social primates, but they're not the most socially dependent. Ring-tailed lemurs (Lemur catta) are even more socially dependent. Most freak out when socially isolated unless conditioned from an early age to handle it. And for them, solitary life is a death sentence outside of captivity, whereas tribal humans can survive (i.e. walkabouts, etc).
FOMO is the reason I drank away the 2000's, everybody would talk about these crazy nights, never seemed to happen to me though and I wanted some wild times. Then one night, I was there for all the crazy $;*t that happened over the course of the evening. Although I didn't know it was crazy $;*t, to me it was just a Tuesday, nothing special. Turns out my threshold for crazy $;*t is way off the scale because I was so used to it all. That was the last time I ever felt FOMO. Haven't drank in almost a decade and I know full well I ain't missing $;*t.
Why wasn't I notified about this video?
That’s funny, when I notice an event I wasn’t invited to my response is usually “oh thank god I dodged that bullet...”
Sooo, I watched another video not too long ago where this guy was talking about social media literally creating a rift in our species where the part that used social media would have one sort of psychology and the part that didn't had another sort of psychology. Everything in this video is buzzing with stuff that's relative to those who use social media. Up until a few months ago I was an avid user of facebook and instagram, but weaned myself off both by uninstalling the apps and treating them like an addiction instead of harmless entertainment. I now have facebook installed on my phone and only use it for marketplace and use the messenger app to talk to people. Where I'm going with this also is that I used to be very fearful of missing out, mainly because instead of only having the option to engage with people person to person via messenger, as in not having the option to pop into their page, see what they'd shared and chosen whether or not to leave a comment I simply didn't know what they'd been up to and had to ask them. Boom, no feelings of FOMO because the only way I could've known what they were up to was by asking them. Actually it's not that there's no FOMO because occasionally I'll have to say no to doing something cool because I don't have enough money and they'll tell me that it's cool and later they'll tell me they've done it with somebody else but they hope I can come next time. That's a pretty normal level of FOMO in my opinion though as opposed to the increased anxiety from literally watching people's lives online with no obligation to engage. PS I talk to these people offline doing the same thing as well lol. Messenger is a sort of a middle ground between facebook and talking face to face to me.
4:07 - 4:23 I wonder if the stress of appearing better diminishes self-worth as well because you're aware you're perpetuating a lie.
Does a polished self-presentation create a stress response?
I needed this video.
I think that just focusing on yourself isn't that good. I mean as you guys explained at the beginning, we feel bad because we yearn connection. I started one step at a time, and ended up at the therapist and it has helped me a lot. Although this is complexly maddening, and everyone is different.
I don't worry about missing out, it hurt more when I found out someone I looked up to lied to me for years. The pain kinda hardened me, made me be less empathetic, care less about other people...
Is there a psychological link where you are suppose to do a simple task but trying to the task or attempt you feel physical pain and restraint? Example: I try to clean my room i start getting headaches and body feels sore before i even start and body starts resisting in doing task like anxiety.
I don't have social media. Nor do I have a social life.
I just press the "join game" button and the matchmaking system will find people to play with for me. And the best part, I can mute them if they're annoying ^^
Real life really needs a mute button. And an "avoid as teammate" option would be nice as well.
I don't use any of the social medias, so I don't typically find out about it when ppl get together without me - therefore no FOMO for me! ...... usually.
Autonomy, competence, relatedness. Gonna write those down
lol this hit me right now, my one best friend and former best friend are hanging out at a concert today. woopdeduu
If you see your friends partying and had no clue about it, and you're not there, they aren't your friends. People need to learn the difference and know how to compartmentalize real friends from strangers. You may know all about Jane, but you don't KNOW Jane and she could care less.
I disagree. Sometimes people can get together spontaneously with whoever happens to be there at the moment, or someone invited them to do something who is friends with them but not friends with you. A lot of things can happen that cause people to gather and not invite every member of their inner circle. It doesn't mean they don't want to spend time with you. I think getting out of the "clique" mindset is one of the keys to overcoming FOMO.
Oh god... so that means... the only two friends I have don't actually care about me?
It's even worse when you were invited but couldn't go
I was seven when Cameo released 'Word Up' - I was the ideal age to enjoy it fully without needing to be ironic. And there was nothing before or since Word Up. Most people have missed out in my view.
Apathy is a wonderful solution to this issue.
That's why I don't have Facebook because it shows a skewed vision of how well your friends are doing. And they track everything all the time.
It's weird cos I've never really had a frequent fomo. Most of the time I'm happier by myself, chilling. Only time I feel a strong inclination to do something I dont really wanna do is if doing so makes someone else happy or if not doing so makes them sad. Like going to a friends birthday party even though I'm tired as crap, but know he wants me there and I might make his day.
Idk, I just think I've always not really cared for social events so missing out on one has never been a big issue for me.
"So the next time you find yourself wishing you could experience what others have in your social media feed, unplug and focus on yourself by experiencing something that makes /you/ feel joy instead." ...yeah uh the problem with that is the only things that bring me actual joy either require another person/other people (performing, positive affirmation, receiving gifts, sex) or are random encounters I cannot control the occurrence of (ie encountering some neat animal when on a walk, such as an interesting spider, a hawk, or a stray cat), so I'm literally stuck when I experience FOMO. There is nothing that can take away the intensity of the pain of being alone, unliked, a failure, ect. Except death I guess but I've learned from my multiple hospitalizations that I am Not Allowed to make the suffering stop, so I don't even bother with that anymore
I had to click the video just to find out what FOMO was. Glad I did.
FOMO with me has been mostly about school and career. FOMO is the reason I settled on pursuing a Math PhD, the most important and best decision I ever made in my life. Because, I said, if I am allowed to choose to do ONLY ONE THING in this life, then I will choose the ONE thing that CONNECTS TO ABSOLUTELY EVERY OTHER THING.
Her tattoo is the southernmost point of the continental United States for all of you trying to replay it at 2:58 😉👍
I don't really feel like I have a social group, so I almost never feel FOMO. That said, I do acutely feel the lack of other human interaction...
Yeaah do that try to focus on yourself great advice when someone is likely experiencing inferiority complex and low self-esteem leading him to FOMO..How amazing!
The book "30 Days to Overcome Fear of Missing Out" is helpful
Fomo dates back to the age of tribes . There were not so many middle grounds of suburban environments either you were rural or surrounded by people . In the development of suburban areas , early industrial England shows us . We separate ourselves into sets based on favored idealisms . (Sets can turn into cultures) modern American school systems shows us just what kind of extremes we can come across with this concept . We're boiling to a point to majority of our social media lovers and our crowd drawn individuals have a very suburban lifestyle . We all have our own perceptions of good and bad and we want to be apart of that idealistic group . Finding acceptance from the individuals we admire gives us a gratification that we are accomplishing the goals we set for ourselves. Social behaviors have been made to seem so easy that if we're not able to get that flattery, we see faults in our own phycology . That leads us to believe we need to reevaluate our goals . If we are unable to find fault in our process we become depressed from the hopelessness , we feel in finding a cure for the conflict . Depression can physically assault our immune systems leading us to become ill and malnourished .. Just because we're thinking to much about the acceptance of the individuals we admire and hope to obtain mimicry.
It is good to know, i have never think that FOMO exist. Thanks 😅
Brit, this hair color is amazing! 😍
Please leave a pause before the next sentence for us to process what you have said
My idea of fun doesn't match up with what most people seem to enjoy. The only thing I have left to do is a three week or longer road trip from California to Alaska. It might never happen, and I'm good with that. I've been to some amazing places in my life, so I'm pretty content in that area.
Weird question but how often do ppl generally hang out with friends? I’m introverted so I try to be with other people just 1-2 evenings per week but it seems like everyone around me hangs out with friends p much every single day.
sattheer if you have 100 friends/ people who’s feeds you see, you’ll see a lot of people hanging out with eachother, even if none of those individuals are hanging out that often, it’s just Bc you’re connected to so many feeds
literally crying for minutes now because I just said no to a family vacation that I've been looking forward to for days just because of exams and school
Interesting video, also I am super loving the new hairstyle!
JOY of missing out!
Turning inward when experiencing FOMO sounds like a bad idea.
$FOMO
I have this problem with my family cause I always love to watch shows with them but we always tend to stay up way too much. And I am trying to get a better sleep schedule
FOMO is when you were a kid and wanted to stay up for 30 more minutes
Cool episode! I have FONBIOE (fear of not being in on everything) and maybe a little FOMO , on the side. ;-)
My trust was broken when she told me I might be missing out because I am