I don't know why, I don't understand this, but It made me laugh, so kudos to you. Edit: never mind, I'm just a moron. I've been looking at that damn oil for ages, you've just kicked off the subconscious, or however that works.
In my experience as an Australian woman, if I were to say to an Australian man, "Do you want to open the window?", the standard answer would be, " Wot? Are your arms painted on?"
"Do you want to open the window?" used in that manner Lloyd describes towards the beginning of this video is actually a passive-aggressive order, as he has (perhaps unconsciously) identified. Call anyone who does this out on their shit and tell them to ask politely and directly if they want something. The situation he describes, where someone "tests" you, and then if you fail, gives you a "punishment", is a form of emotional abuse used to bully and enforce control over someone. Source: am reformed passive-aggressor. Don't stand for this sort of thing from anyone, it's pretty toxic.
Or it’s a way of communicating that “hey I want to open the window, if you do too would you mind doing it for me?” I suck at reading hints but that’s what I imagine it is
OP UPDATE Looking back on this, I think sometimes the behaviour is truly a passive-aggressive order, but sometimes it's a passive-aggressive request or suggestion from the speaker, or even just a genuine question of your thoughts/feelings. When I wrote my first comment I was pissed off with passive aggression in my life. If someone gets pissed off because you gave them a straight answer to a question like this, I'd hazard a guess it'd be because (from their perspective at least), you didn't take their feelings into account. It is an indirect strategy, I maintain an immature one and unfair for the asker to be upset by a straight answer to, but very common all the same. I'm a bit older and wiser now, so when someone asks me something in this way, I give them an honest answer (because that is what they asked), and follow up with something to confirm the nature of the situation, and determine their motivation behind asking the question. E.g. "Hey, do you wanna stop for food on the way home?" "Nah I'm good thanks, why, are you hungry?" Then proceed as appropriate based on their response to that reversal. So far it seems to work pretty well in managing all situations. And, if they were really trying to say that they want to stop, I'll usually gently tease them a little for not just asking directly too 😂
I'm going to argue that they wouldn't have forgotten his presence there in that case. I'll just blissfully live in a beautiful world where that person was just being considerate and warning him that this will likely be an event he will not greatly enjoy.
I would have left as I would have seen it as a polite way of saying get the hell out this woman's night, most of my female friends would have been more direct, "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out". direct.
GIL Gil Sadly a lot of people (mostly SJWs and crazy feminists) feel offended by stuff like this. Fortunately those people usually don't watch Loyds videos.
Letum he's not saying he hates women or wouldn't want to be around them, just that for some activities it's more fun if it's just men. Which is fair enough - I don't see why this should offend. I do think it's quite sad that men feel the need to tone themselves down or interpret everything when a woman is around. Likewise that women feel they must be "on show" when there's guys around. It would be nice if men and women could drop some of the pretense and just be themselves around each other.
Luculencia I agree. But believe me, there are people out there that feel offended by almost everything. A lot of them also refuse to accept any facts or reasoning, if it doesnt precisely match with their believes. I have seen (crazy) feminists trying to deny all man the right to gather among themselves. They also get offend by facts like:" The average man is taller than the average woman". If you ask me, irrational people like this represent one of biggest societal dangers we face.
_“…women …hate each other.”_ -I‘ve heard this assessment numerous times but cannot figure out how this assessment has been derived. Can you please explain why you think this is the case?
The answer to "do you want to open the window?" should be "do you want me to open the window?". Sometimes it is good to answer a question with a question XD
Yep. Trick questions are bullshit. Make it a hostile environment for trick questions. A glib response like that can make it clear that you won't tolerate it, and if that doesn't work, you can outright say it's not welcome
Though I guess thinking about it further, it might be best to be overt about it from the outset, and just say something like "If you want me to open the window, just ask"
To be fair, I've never had to deal with this problem myself. I'm going to assume that's because I'm good at choosing friends (either that or everyone I know has long given up on trying to be subtle around me XD)
In case it isn't obvious. "Do you want to open the window?" (Depending on how it's phrased) Is usually a shorthand for: "Do you want to open the window for me?" Does that help make it clearer?
Maybe that's a cultural/language thing. But in Germany, in almost all cases, women just say "Could you please open the window?" if that's what they mean. We do have that stuff as a meme. "Male/Female Dictionary" and stuff like that. But that's more cheeky stuff along the lines of "women always mean the exact opposite of what they say". Could also be just a generational thing. Anyway, never experienced that in real life.
If I guy asked me to do something, I just tell him to move his ass and do it himself lol. Things like opening a window that is. Not if any special skill or knowledge I have be he doesn't. I do agree with half of what you say. About what how females are viewed and what is expected of them. But why would this lead to such a rhetoric? Especially the stereotypical "helpless female" should be allowed to just ask for shit. "Could you please open that jar of pickles (I'm too weak)", "could you please get me that thing up there (I'm too short to reach)" Every stereotype has it's truth to it and as those do indeed exist here in Germany, I guess it at least used to be the same. Or still is with older people. Never encountered it with girls/women my age and not my mom either. Or a regional thing. People in my region are said to be a little bit too straight forward for comfort anyway. But like I said, I don't get the reasoning behind it.
I do think it's a rather English thing- whether that's the language or the country, I'm less sure (even though I live in Canada, I honestly don't remember if I hear that wording here or only online) There's a certain tone you ask with that differentiates it, I think. Saying "Do you wanna pass the salt?" sounds quite different from "Do you wanna go to a restaurant for lunch?", as it's asking for a favour rather than asking for an opinion
My Dad does this too though. I think it's one of those tone of voice things. Mind you, if I said I didn't want to open the window, he let's me know that he's cross there and then.
Guy in company of other men : "I've put on weight lately..." Random dude : "Yeah, you're such a fat ass " Everyone laughs Woman in company of men : "I've put on weight lately.. " *crickets*
I feel like the problem with that girlfriend who was invited wasn't that she was a woman, and it was more that she wasn't a Wargamer. If someone brought a friend or paramour to that situation that was male, but not really experienced in war games and also was a bit eager for approval, same thing probably would have happened (and it's also no doubt possible to find a woman who has never had any interest in wargames but actually does have a knack for it and picks the whole thing up easily and integrates well).
It's so entertaining to watch the inner battle between women and hanging out with the guys raging in his mind! He's having such a difficult time making any decisions whatsoever! We might have finally found a way to break him!
It's part of the human duality really. Yin and Yang. Every man needs a bit of woman to balance himself, and every woman needs a bit of man to balance herself. Quite a pity that circumstances force the issue that men are denied their masculinity and women are told to embrace masculinity as though it were oxygen.
"Would you be Interested in a trade agreement with England?" *Your Item* 500 gold All of your Luxury Resource *Their Item* 1 Horse *There's only 1 Answer*
I'm a girl and I have a hard time around women too, not in an obnoxious "too cool for women" way, they just make me nervous and my social skills aren't very good so it's hard to talk to people who don't share my interests (which I find girls are less likely to do). I still like girls though, they're just very much the minority in my friendships. That being said I think the testing thing you complained about is a lot less common in my generation, I've certainly never done it.
GhostBunny, I have the same problem but with guys, I tend to have nothing in common with them and they always find me creepy or weird. I have more experience socialising with females and so I feel much more comfortable around them. When I am around males it feels like I am taking an exam on masculinity and failing
RUclips recommendations are badly broken. It mostly recommends things you've just watched, or things that RUclips seems to be promoting - regardless of how clearly mismatched they are to you.
great, so now we only need those islanders to come over to the continent - which isn't _that_ easy since they're very 'shy' and avoid coming without the help of their colonists. :P
Ask Lindy a question and instead of answering the question, he will tell you a story that may or may not be loosely based on the topic of the question. I love it. Don't ever change!
Let's face it Lloyd. You love dancing, you dye your own clothes, you know how to sew, you enjoy making linked chainmail, which is basically akin to knitting. I'm no psychologist but it's not a surprise to me you like being around females more.
I'm only sexually attracted to women. I have absolutely ZERO interest in being sexual with other men. Can't even imagine myself being intimate with other guys, but often do with women, especially sexy women. XD
How do you manage to just get a random question and with no preparation be unreasonably entertaining? 10/10 Lindy, you're always providing great content or at the very least, content I like.
There are a lot of men who behave badly, and there are a lot of women who behave badly. The problem is, when it’s a woman behaving badly, there’s little or nothing you can do about it.
So Im a guy who uses phrases like „can we open the window?“ Because its obvious that it is in my interest that the window is opened, but not trying to be selfish I want to consult the opinion of others, which means that if someone says „no“, Im okay with it, I just dont feel like that person was especially kind... What Im trying to say is, that there are people that have a sense for these things and there are people that don’t. Im a very self-reflecting person, I, automatically consider how my action appears to others... I dont feel like a particularly „female“ person, I just think that it is one of my skills and often you take it as granted that others habe the same understanding. Its the same with geniuses, they tend to find others stupid, instead of seeing themselfes as gifted. It is very difficult to consider this, as you are used to yourself, meaning, your strengths and weaknesses. So even If all of this sound a bit contradicting, I think its how it works. For myself this question comes down to me having a partner or not. When I am in a relationship, I enjoy doing only men things, like going out and play with RC planes and stuff, but when im single, I really enjoy going to bars meeting women, our beeing in a bigger mixed group. I totally lack this need, when I have a girlfriend, as she is the only women I really need to have and I see her a lot so that evens it out. Of course I have some female friends that I know just so well, I don’t really see them as Female company....
There's a difference between "Can we open the window?" and "Do you want to open the window?" - if I asked the former, it would mean that I want the window open, but am willing to leave it shut if other people have strong objections, or if there are strong reasons not to open it; if I asked the latter, it would mean that I don't care about whether the window is opened or not, but want you to feel free to open it if you wish.
msgrey completely right. The "Can we" includes the questioner whereas "Do you want to" doesn't. Also, words and phrases are useful to us because they mean something. I don't understand why some people consciously decide to ditch that meaning and try to convey something else, expecting everyone to understand.
okay, but seriously, is it so hard to understand that "Can we open the window?" is a yes or no question, in the ideal chase, "Yes", or "no im cold" I do not see the issue with that.
I do not, I just wanted to make the point, that it is not a thing that only women do. However, they probably are to onlyones getting mad about it. I dont always express myself in the best manner, because I might think ahead, forgetting that I need to explain the others where im comming from. All I wanted to say is that this is a more common mistake that Lindy depicts it. I dont know, maybe not being native I did not express myself correctly and came off wrong, which is pretty Ironic when you think about it.
Totally agree. As a member of the XX club, I find my own kind terribly taxing to be around. Women judge other women the most, and drama is just so easy to be stirred up over the mildest of things. As a result, 80% of my associations are male, which is sometimes sad because I can't really be a part of the boys club even though I share the same interests as then. It's fun to hang out with girls, but it gets really tiring, really fast.
When Lloyd talk about the one girl who was a bad fit with his wargaming friends, it's was simply a case of familiarity and shared memes. Girls can definitely be part of the boys club, you just gotta spend as much time in it as the boys do. Enjoy whatever hobbies make you happy.
Uh... Why can't you be part of the boy's club? I know, you aren't. But I think if you make it clear that you're not mean like that, most boys would happily have you in their all-men's activities. One of my best friend's girlfriend is well... a woman, and she is completely accepted in our group of friends as 'one of the boys.'
Lystic don't get me wrong it's not like I feel left out or anything. To clarify, I do hang out with guys a lot to play video games or do drinking games or whatever but there is a certain "boundary" so to speak that's strictly boys only. 😂
Although I'm a woman, I couldn't stop laughing about the example with the window. Yes, I know, men need easy and clear instructions!!! Even today I asked my (male) colleague to open the window. I just said "please open the window". You see, we can learn to speak "man".
I think the simplest solution to any conversation, whether you are male or female is: Say what you mean, mean what you say Anything in excess of this is intellectually dishonest, and ought to be treated as such.
I've watched this video yesterday, and today my wife asked me "Do we want to order dinner from that Asian restaurant in town". Not really feeling the appetite for curry, I've honeslty said "No". Guess what, WRONG ANSWER. Lesson learned, I'll be sure to pay more attention to these videos... and to those hidden commands in innocent questions my wife asks. :)
Sounds like your experience with the "woman that ruined the event" has nothing to do with being a woman. It has to do with her not being a war gamer with a shared history in the group. I'm a biologically female gamer who has not had a dissimilar experience. As a gamer, most of the friends I made in university were men, but there were a couple of other women. When we are all together as our mixed group, even after years of living geographically far apart now, with shared history and shared interest, it's like nothing changed. If someone brings a spouse or significant other, be it a woman or a man who is the new person, it changes the environment. Of course it does. It's just a simple matter of in group/out group
Maybe the example wasn't perfect, but from my experience, and most of my male friend's experiences, A single or more females do change the group dynamic drastically. Even when the women are part of the same friend group, when it's only guys there is a big difference. I would even say that often an out group male has a smaller impact than an in group female.
I am a 17 year old boy who goes to an electrical engineering high school which is like 99% boys (just like a medical school would be probably mostly girls). We have 2 girls and 29 boys in our class and naturally the two of them formed a close friendship. Us guys go wild when they aren't there and the atmosphere is much more relaxed and everyone is having a great, fun time. As soon as the girls come in, everybody quiets down and the fun is over. Even if the female is very unattractive, she will bring sexual tension an irrelevant or boring conversation with her, which just doesn't work with guy-gatherings.
I don't even care if I agree or disagree with you. It's just nice to hear from someone who's generally reasonable and not totally caught up in the politics of the questions you're answering. So many things you said in this video are obviously true to everyone living a normal life, but would be decried as completely sexist if presented in an academic or political setting. Thanks for not being afraid to be honest.
I like that you're willing to share your blatant opinion with us. It makes me happy you don't feel you have to censor your words as many people do nowadays :)
You're really good at answering tough questions! This is almost like asking you to choose to live for the rest of your life with either your left leg or your right leg.
1:15 as someone with asperger's syndrome I don't get hints or social ques so when this happens, I just never open the window, the other person gets pissed off and then usually leaves.
I really like these videos. I do hope you'll make more. Your opinions on these silly questions are rather insightful, and are rather enjoyable (like all of your videos)!
@ Dtrain You can ask me anything. I don't promise to reply. Email might be better, both for privacy and to avoid clogging up this thread. hermit.oldguy@gmail.com
Because the internet's ease of communication and wide audience mean that people with strong niche opinions have a much larger presence than they normally would. People have to be encouraged by something to leave a comment, and outrage is an effective motivator. So someone that holds an extreme belief in opposition (or sometimes insufficiently supported) to the views espoused on the internet is more likely to leave a comment. Also feminism is a Big Deal™ right now so there's more prevalent extremist opinions on the subject.
Lily that's sexist. Just because it's pro-woman doesn't mean it's not sexist. Which is my big problem with feminism, too many adherents treat it as a zero-sum game and feel like they have to tear down men. It's stupid. Hence my egalitarian viewpoint. There's trash on both sides of the street, how about we clean up the trash instead of trying to bury the other side in it to make your side appear better solely in comparison, rather than actually making it better?
The wargaming story may not be a bad experience because of a woman joining, but because a stranger joined in on a game that you where hoping to have just with close friends. On-top of that, the girlfriend was a newbie to wargaming. If she was already a close friend, or if she was familiar with the game, then it probably would have been a positive experience.
Easy thought experiment to test your hypothesis: what would have happened if the guy had brought along his brother or some other man instead of his girlfriend? In my experience, that scenario hasn't led to that sort of shift in group dynamic.
Yeah - it really helps if you know the woman in question well beforehand. I used to play a DnD game with my uncle on the weekends, and a very good (female) friend and her younger brother would often join in. She wasn't exactly a stereotypical "girly-girl" - she was a very tough young woman who liked contact sports and martial arts, like most of the women I've known. She was a newbie, but so was most of the rest of the group, so she fit in well with us. It's important to remember that there will ALWAYS be more difference between individuals than between groups, and to judge people accordingly.
I am told (by women) that women generally are very aware of the social context and their social status within a group, where men (in my experience) tend to focus on the group activity rather than the group dynamic. It's the difference between "a _group of people_ playing a war-game" and "a group of people _playing a war-game_ ".
There are many languages that require indirectness as a form of politeness. Japanese is a good example, in English we’d say “let’s go to the library” were in Japanese while you could say that; it would be rude because in a way your imposing your will onto another person, they’d say something more like “are we maybe going to the library”. I suspect that since woman are societally expected to be meeker this has led them to this way of speaking. Just a thought from someone with an interest in linguistics.
Women who try to test you, test my patience. I simply wouldn't tolerate it, and would likely tell them off. I have zero interest in playing foolish games with people. Reasonable women, however, can be great to be around. I think I prefer associating with them more than men.
I'm an introvert, so...I don't really like groups too much to begin with, to be honest. Basically, I find most groups (not exclusively) lacking much depth. And as a good rule of thumb: probably too much of any one thing--particularly to the detriment of another--isn't genuinely warm, welcoming, or ideal. That having been said: while admittedly NOT in large groups, woman have, as individuals, far more consistently treated me with concern and respect; i.e. as an equal. I wish that I could say the same for most dudes, blokes, mates or whatever have you; though, sadly, that has not been the case, at least for me. As for topics to discuss with women: that really depends on the woman, doesn't it. One should never assume. My best teachers certainly--those that were, in retrospect, simultaneously the most insightful and most humanitarian--were all Nuns in fact. They were far from selfish, superficial, arrogant or ignorant. And truly, if I should want to emulate anyone, I think: I should imitate them most of all. Anyone should. Frankly, that's the sort of woman I would marry in a hurry. Even if it cost me the world. For groups are fine--but you can't marry a group! Find the one person that you can share everything with; someone to plumb the depths of your soul. And begrudge them not; neither your interests, nor theirs.
I (a male) had a mate (a male) who would always ask me to do things by saying 'Do you wanna...?'. It used to drive me crazy. I don't think this is exclusively a 'woman' thing. It's just a 'certain type of person' thing.
Did you mate grow up in an all female household? Women are passive as hell, and i grew up in a house of all women and my male friends growing up, there was deffinately a difference of communication, we couldn't understand each other. I finally manned up, ralized the issue was me, and learned how to be a man. I stopped doing all the BS i had done before without realizing it.
In my interests I find it hard enough to find other males that like to pc game a lot or that love to go shooting, like metal music, etcetera, and like to talk about those subjects regularly, and finding any woman that are interested in those subjects I find almost impossible. So yeah I'd pick men if I had to choose
I am a man in rural, mountainous California. And I prune trees. Lots of fruit trees and small or medium ornamental trees. Mostly men want to talk about tree work when I visit their home. But a woman with whom I am comfortable will have a broader range. And if one of her girlfriends happens along, they may talk mostly to eachother in my presence, but in the last 20 years or so, they have lost all inhibition around me. They talk about the most intimate feminine things! Including how tight trousers fit and what shows, and where on a woman's person. Gasp! Not that I minded, but there have been some real surprizes! It's been an education, I tell you! But for general topics I enjoy chatting with one woman very much. I like the friendship connection and the places where we agree. These conversations can happen as I work on their fruit trees, during a coffee break, etc. One thing I do like is teaching about proper pruning. A man will listen and may or may not get it right when he tries it. A woman usually focuses in on the treatment of the tree. Kindness, healing and so on. Some women become great pruners.
Honestly, listening to my brother talk to his friends from the other room, I really see what you mean about men having to change their attitude around women on the other hand, my friends don't jokingly insult each other and we've gotten into 100% fewer fights than my brother and his friends (we do have 1 guy in our group, but I don't know if that really changes much)
If I had to choose from those three groups I'd always choose the mixed group. But it always comes down to the individuals. But more often than not I choose to be alone than with someone or just with the family (excl. parents, siblings, other relatives).
That Jane Austen thing made me think... I don't actually know how women talk to each other when they're on their own. Now I'm imagining when they go into the bathroom in a club together they may as well be talking in an alien code that no man understands and we'll never know.
This also puts a rather interesting spin on the Bechdel test. Since most films are made primarily by male directos, screenwriters, etc., their experiences only extend to male-male and male-female interactions. It may not be an explicitly held policy, but perhaps there is some subconscious effect.
Orocius Oh yeah, the ideologists got to the idea first it seems and assumed the phenomenon is reflective of sexism inherent in the entertainment industry. Nope, men just don’t know how women talk to eachother in the absence of men, simple as.
There is a lot of judging, a lot of making sure the other girls aren’t toooo drunk, a lot of talk about beauty products and health, and then food. Lots and lots of food.
Due to my work (security, bar work) and hobbies/interests ( exercise, fight training, politics and more philosophical stuff) it's extremely rare to find a woman i can have a decent conversation with. I find trying to have female friends to be a giant waste of time and energy. There is a female within our core group who fits in well and she would tell you yourself how exasperating she finds most females to be around. Although this would apply to both genders it applies to females a lot more but I also have a disdain of materialist and consumerist obsession which is something that seems to be ingrained and can not seperate myself from.
I worked in a male dominated industry, skydiving instructor. Now I rehabilitate kids and its female dominate, its also a vipers nest that replicates ancient Greece or Rome for back stabbing and subterfuge.
1:18 I had had this situation in my life. A Teacher asked my friend did he throw something (probably empty bootle) to wastebasket, he didn't do it so she shouted him and gave him warning
While I have experienced the unexpected girlfriend showing up for gaming the story would have been the same if the person brought their male friend along who wasn’t into gaming or didn’t know the in jokes. One mates girlfriend is into gaming and has been made an honorary lad for lads night and fits right in. When I looked after a software system in work I would sometimes visit an all female office and be working away quietly in the corner un-noticed and it was eye-opening once they forgot I was there. I find it more relaxing in female company though as while it’s fun, the constant banter, one upmanship and showing no weakness in all male groups can be tiring.
This comment was written by a woman. Only women think males are constantly trying to one up each other or shy away from showing weakness because that's what they might do in the presence of women.
Okay, so without trying to start a war, you're almost right about "Do you want to open a window". We totally mean "Open the window", but it's not a test. It's not "Will he actually do it??" it's just us trying to politely tell you what we want you to do, so if you don't then do it, it feels like a slight, but in reality it's likely just a miscommunication. You could make the argument "Why don't you just say what you mean", and that's ultimately a pretty complex issue, but ultimately I believe the answer would be "Politeness" or "we probably just should, shouldn't we?"
Yes, it is a miscommunication, and that's the problem. Men are not mind readers and some of us aren't ready to just guess what you mean on the off-chance we get it incorrectly. It's better to just be clear and blunt with us.
I think what she means is we're taught by our own women culture we have to be super polite, even when it's stupid or unnecessary. It's almost like we're also being taught men might get upset if we don't, which is stupid. A relic from past times I think.
Being unable to communicate is not a "women" problem, it's a "dumb" problem. I have been around women who know exactly how to properly communicate, I have been around (and myself have been at some point in my life) men who are absolutely clueless in communicating.
Glad to see you keep your sombrero well lubricated.
Best comment ever :)
Hilarious! Much better than a greasy fedora, eeww!
Ace Ace who doesn’t?
Made my day.
Pretty good comment
Q: Do you prefer being with men or women?
A: 3-IN-ONE MULTIPURPOSE OIL
I'd give a like, but it's at 69...
3-in-one multi purpose oil
I don't know why, I don't understand this, but It made me laugh, so kudos to you.
Edit: never mind, I'm just a moron. I've been looking at that damn oil for ages, you've just kicked off the subconscious, or however that works.
It's good stuff, I miss the metal tins
+
OIL
👨✈️👨✈️!!!
The oil is beige
In my experience as an Australian woman, if I were to say to an Australian man, "Do you want to open the window?", the standard answer would be, " Wot? Are your arms painted on?"
I'm keeping this for future use
Lily Dale ...thand god for equality!
I only ever hear good things from Australia
Lily Dale I’m using “are your arms painted on” from now on now (I’m an American)
Yeah I think culture acts in a bit.
A house with 8 woman that Loyd visited often I think I know what kinda house that was
And how many cats were there?
there are cats in brothels?
Obviously student digs.
What the fuck are you lot on about, theres houses everywhere Ive lived in like 7 christ
shlibber Do you need me to call someone?
If I had to choose, I'd pick.... 3-in-1 multi purpose oil. Darn subliminal messages
Fishfingers ..the can of oil has been there for 3 months...watch some other videos.
purpleanex but why is it there?!?!?!?
He should work for Nintendo. Putting subliminal messages in Directs.
666 likes
"Do you prefer being with men or women?"
No, I do not.
about 7
@@pitedapollo6175 Wait till Biggus Dickus hears about this.
99% of the comments are about a well lubricated sombrero 😂😂
Or about „3 in one Oil“ 😂
Which is, of course, the reason he put them there in the first place.
If "Do you prefer being with men or women?" is the question, from what you've said, your answer should be: "No."
Or yes
@Bounze no becouse he wants to be with men AND women and not with men OR women
The symmetry of a sombrero and a can of multifunction oil.
Jinn P yro Lindy's way of getting 4 Types of Dekoration. 1 is Sombrero and the Oil is 3-IN-ONE
Oil ole!
Certainly explains his hair.
"I'd rather lindyhop with the women and wargame with the guys."
This sums it up.
"Do you want to open the window?" used in that manner Lloyd describes towards the beginning of this video is actually a passive-aggressive order, as he has (perhaps unconsciously) identified. Call anyone who does this out on their shit and tell them to ask politely and directly if they want something. The situation he describes, where someone "tests" you, and then if you fail, gives you a "punishment", is a form of emotional abuse used to bully and enforce control over someone. Source: am reformed passive-aggressor. Don't stand for this sort of thing from anyone, it's pretty toxic.
This! ^
Or it’s a way of communicating that “hey I want to open the window, if you do too would you mind doing it for me?” I suck at reading hints but that’s what I imagine it is
Its simple, Short Word come out fast Sound bad
My mother says rhetorical questions like this a lot, so I just say “not really “ in response
OP UPDATE
Looking back on this, I think sometimes the behaviour is truly a passive-aggressive order, but sometimes it's a passive-aggressive request or suggestion from the speaker, or even just a genuine question of your thoughts/feelings.
When I wrote my first comment I was pissed off with passive aggression in my life.
If someone gets pissed off because you gave them a straight answer to a question like this, I'd hazard a guess it'd be because (from their perspective at least), you didn't take their feelings into account. It is an indirect strategy, I maintain an immature one and unfair for the asker to be upset by a straight answer to, but very common all the same.
I'm a bit older and wiser now, so when someone asks me something in this way, I give them an honest answer (because that is what they asked), and follow up with something to confirm the nature of the situation, and determine their motivation behind asking the question.
E.g.
"Hey, do you wanna stop for food on the way home?"
"Nah I'm good thanks, why, are you hungry?"
Then proceed as appropriate based on their response to that reversal. So far it seems to work pretty well in managing all situations.
And, if they were really trying to say that they want to stop, I'll usually gently tease them a little for not just asking directly too 😂
Wasn't the fact she told you a load of friends were going to come over to watch Dirty Dancing a woman's way of saying: "please leave"?
She could have just said "please leave". Unless...
Unless she is a woman Matteus Silvestre!
I'm going to argue that they wouldn't have forgotten his presence there in that case. I'll just blissfully live in a beautiful world where that person was just being considerate and warning him that this will likely be an event he will not greatly enjoy.
If he'd been around enough times, he'd have a feel for whether they expressed preference or just giving him a friendly head's up.
I would have left as I would have seen it as a polite way of saying get the hell out this woman's night, most of my female friends would have been more direct, "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out". direct.
This video won't be controversial...
He is stating his preference for how he spends his time in social situations how is that controversial ?
GIL Gil Sadly a lot of people (mostly SJWs and crazy feminists) feel offended by stuff like this. Fortunately those people usually don't watch Loyds videos.
Letum he's not saying he hates women or wouldn't want to be around them, just that for some activities it's more fun if it's just men. Which is fair enough - I don't see why this should offend.
I do think it's quite sad that men feel the need to tone themselves down or interpret everything when a woman is around. Likewise that women feel they must be "on show" when there's guys around. It would be nice if men and women could drop some of the pretense and just be themselves around each other.
Luculencia I agree.
But believe me, there are people out there that feel offended by almost everything.
A lot of them also refuse to accept any facts or reasoning, if it doesnt precisely match with their believes.
I have seen (crazy) feminists trying to deny all man the right to gather among themselves.
They also get offend by facts like:" The average man is taller than the average woman".
If you ask me, irrational people like this represent one of biggest societal dangers we face.
Thank god for that.
Beigeman hits the landmine of psychology -- the female mind
That's more a minefield, if you think it's only a single mine you're grossly underestimating it! XD
Don’t try to figure out the female mind, women have and they hate each other.
_“…women …hate each other.”_
-I‘ve heard this assessment numerous times but cannot figure out how this assessment has been derived. Can you please explain why you think this is the case?
@ The Paradox
Al Bundy. ^^
+Radicaldanny
-?
Those ramblings are quite nice. Watching you reasoning your way through (or around ;)) the question is always fun!
I think the real question is why can't she open the damn window herself?
Maybe he's closer? Or she's occupied with something?
Because it's a test.
Here’s the real question, do you prefer beige men and women?
I prefer beige lindies
Beige could do no wrong, unlike men an women
The answer to "do you want to open the window?" should be "do you want me to open the window?". Sometimes it is good to answer a question with a question XD
But who wants an environment of trick questions? That's a hostile environment.
Yep. Trick questions are bullshit. Make it a hostile environment for trick questions. A glib response like that can make it clear that you won't tolerate it, and if that doesn't work, you can outright say it's not welcome
Though I guess thinking about it further, it might be best to be overt about it from the outset, and just say something like "If you want me to open the window, just ask"
Good solutions to an unnecessary problem.
To be fair, I've never had to deal with this problem myself. I'm going to assume that's because I'm good at choosing friends (either that or everyone I know has long given up on trying to be subtle around me XD)
"Do you want to open the window?"
No thanks, I'm feeling rather good today, I think I'll jump out of it some other time.
-Mumy mumy dad says he is going to jump off the balcony
-Say to your dad that I put him horns, not wings
There is not a big enough thumbs up button for ‘Do you want to open the window?’ Alone.
In case it isn't obvious.
"Do you want to open the window?" (Depending on how it's phrased) Is usually a shorthand for: "Do you want to open the window for me?"
Does that help make it clearer?
Maybe that's a cultural/language thing.
But in Germany, in almost all cases, women just say "Could you please open the window?" if that's what they mean.
We do have that stuff as a meme. "Male/Female Dictionary" and stuff like that. But that's more cheeky stuff along the lines of "women always mean the exact opposite of what they say".
Could also be just a generational thing. Anyway, never experienced that in real life.
If I guy asked me to do something, I just tell him to move his ass and do it himself lol. Things like opening a window that is. Not if any special skill or knowledge I have be he doesn't.
I do agree with half of what you say. About what how females are viewed and what is expected of them. But why would this lead to such a rhetoric?
Especially the stereotypical "helpless female" should be allowed to just ask for shit. "Could you please open that jar of pickles (I'm too weak)", "could you please get me that thing up there (I'm too short to reach)"
Every stereotype has it's truth to it and as those do indeed exist here in Germany, I guess it at least used to be the same. Or still is with older people. Never encountered it with girls/women my age and not my mom either. Or a regional thing. People in my region are said to be a little bit too straight forward for comfort anyway.
But like I said, I don't get the reasoning behind it.
I do think it's a rather English thing- whether that's the language or the country, I'm less sure (even though I live in Canada, I honestly don't remember if I hear that wording here or only online)
There's a certain tone you ask with that differentiates it, I think. Saying "Do you wanna pass the salt?" sounds quite different from "Do you wanna go to a restaurant for lunch?", as it's asking for a favour rather than asking for an opinion
My Dad does this too though. I think it's one of those tone of voice things. Mind you, if I said I didn't want to open the window, he let's me know that he's cross there and then.
Guy in company of other men : "I've put on weight lately..."
Random dude : "Yeah, you're such a fat ass "
Everyone laughs
Woman in company of men : "I've put on weight lately.. "
*crickets*
Not the meaning of “with” that I was expecting lol
Thanks for telling us about your days as a wrapper.
Uriah Siner same
Phew
if it was sexual preference, it might've been a reaaaally short video
Uriah Siner if that's the case... Definitely chicks
I feel like the problem with that girlfriend who was invited wasn't that she was a woman, and it was more that she wasn't a Wargamer. If someone brought a friend or paramour to that situation that was male, but not really experienced in war games and also was a bit eager for approval, same thing probably would have happened (and it's also no doubt possible to find a woman who has never had any interest in wargames but actually does have a knack for it and picks the whole thing up easily and integrates well).
It's so entertaining to watch the inner battle between women and hanging out with the guys raging in his mind! He's having such a difficult time making any decisions whatsoever!
We might have finally found a way to break him!
android is superior, any other answer is incorrect.
It's part of the human duality really.
Yin and Yang.
Every man needs a bit of woman to balance himself, and every woman needs a bit of man to balance herself.
Quite a pity that circumstances force the issue that men are denied their masculinity and women are told to embrace masculinity as though it were oxygen.
Pull out an MG-42 and ask him what it is, electrical zap every time he says Spandau.
"Would you be Interested in a trade agreement with England?"
*Your Item*
500 gold
All of your Luxury Resource
*Their Item*
1 Horse
*There's only 1 Answer*
"Your offer insults me. War it is."
*You'st
I'm a girl and I have a hard time around women too, not in an obnoxious "too cool for women" way, they just make me nervous and my social skills aren't very good so it's hard to talk to people who don't share my interests (which I find girls are less likely to do). I still like girls though, they're just very much the minority in my friendships. That being said I think the testing thing you complained about is a lot less common in my generation, I've certainly never done it.
GhostBunny, I have the same problem but with guys, I tend to have nothing in common with them and they always find me creepy or weird. I have more experience socialising with females and so I feel much more comfortable around them. When I am around males it feels like I am taking an exam on masculinity and failing
@@violenceisfun991 don’t worry bud nobody actually wants to judge you we’re all too busy attempting it be alpha lol
@@zacksima8333 and yet they do judge me constantly
@@violenceisfun991 You found the wrong guys. My closest friends are all guys and I can share with them pretty much everything.
for some reason youtube wants to play your "napoleans greatest foe" immediately after any video of yours i watch. actually annoying at this point.
I wonder why...
jared adams click the three dots next to the Napoleon video, choose "not interested" and then "I've already watched this video".
tyvm
RUclips recommendations are badly broken. It mostly recommends things you've just watched, or things that RUclips seems to be promoting - regardless of how clearly mismatched they are to you.
jared adams but it’s a good video...
I just want to be around Bren guns and panzers!
are you french? if yes, that could be arranged. :)
I'm french so panzers are already in my garden! :D
great, so now we only need those islanders to come over to the continent - which isn't _that_ easy since they're very 'shy' and avoid coming without the help of their colonists. :P
It's the reverse, i'm a french hiding in Iceland! haha
oh, then forget about that. you know, we haven't the best experiences regarding snowy landscapes. ;P
I love how candid and frank you are. I have a feeling you're gonna get some flak for this video, but I dig the perspective.
keep up the good vids Lindybeige! cant wait to see some more historical ones, and the whole armor set when its done
"All women are dull, except those that we love" -Jovan Dučić
Kralj
"Women who can't stand Woman's Hour, for instance..."
Now that got under my armour and had me giggling out loud for several minutes!
Ask Lindy a question and instead of answering the question, he will tell you a story that may or may not be loosely based on the topic of the question. I love it. Don't ever change!
Let's face it Lloyd. You love dancing, you dye your own clothes, you know how to sew, you enjoy making linked chainmail, which is basically akin to knitting. I'm no psychologist but it's not a surprise to me you like being around females more.
Linking chainmail may be the best way we have to bride the gap between men and women.
Snagabott err..,ok?
Confirmed. Lindiebage is a man-woman hybrid!
Soldiers sow...
Maarten van Rossem Lezingen you call it woman like, i call it being self sufficient and enjoying life
That fact about Jane Austen not writing male to male interactions is interesting as hell
Now the real question, do you prefer to be “with” men or women?
Offcial Andre Wright I wish youtube had a rotflmao response.
I'm only sexually attracted to women.
I have absolutely ZERO interest in being sexual with other men.
Can't even imagine myself being intimate with other guys, but often do with women, especially sexy women. XD
[Insert]nobodycares.gif[/Insert]
um radical nobody asked you and nobody cares honestly
Radicaldanny You shouldn't hide your true desires mate, if you like blokes then it's all good!
This may be one of the most honest and agreeable videos on that dangerous topic, I have ever seen. Well done.
How do you manage to just get a random question and with no preparation be unreasonably entertaining? 10/10 Lindy, you're always providing great content or at the very least, content I like.
There are a lot of men who behave badly, and there are a lot of women who behave badly. The problem is, when it’s a woman behaving badly, there’s little or nothing you can do about it.
Q: Do you prefer being with men or women?
A: Yes.
or no
"Do you wanna open the window", "Nah..." That's such a funny response i'm gonna do it next time 🤣
So Im a guy who uses phrases like „can we open the window?“ Because its obvious that it is in my interest that the window is opened, but not trying to be selfish I want to consult the opinion of others, which means that if someone says „no“, Im okay with it, I just dont feel like that person was especially kind...
What Im trying to say is, that there are people that have a sense for these things and there are people that don’t. Im a very self-reflecting person, I, automatically consider how my action appears to others... I dont feel like a particularly „female“ person, I just think that it is one of my skills and often you take it as granted that others habe the same understanding. Its the same with geniuses, they tend to find others stupid, instead of seeing themselfes as gifted. It is very difficult to consider this, as you are used to yourself, meaning, your strengths and weaknesses.
So even If all of this sound a bit contradicting, I think its how it works.
For myself this question comes down to me having a partner or not. When I am in a relationship, I enjoy doing only men things, like going out and play with RC planes and stuff, but when im single, I really enjoy going to bars meeting women, our beeing in a bigger mixed group. I totally lack this need, when I have a girlfriend, as she is the only women I really need to have and I see her a lot so that evens it out. Of course I have some female friends that I know just so well, I don’t really see them as Female company....
Engenheiro Estrutural I am passive agressive? I really didnt mean to come off like that. Just making a point... :)
There's a difference between "Can we open the window?" and "Do you want to open the window?" - if I asked the former, it would mean that I want the window open, but am willing to leave it shut if other people have strong objections, or if there are strong reasons not to open it; if I asked the latter, it would mean that I don't care about whether the window is opened or not, but want you to feel free to open it if you wish.
msgrey completely right. The "Can we" includes the questioner whereas "Do you want to" doesn't.
Also, words and phrases are useful to us because they mean something. I don't understand why some people consciously decide to ditch that meaning and try to convey something else, expecting everyone to understand.
okay, but seriously, is it so hard to understand that "Can we open the window?" is a yes or no question, in the ideal chase, "Yes", or "no im cold" I do not see the issue with that.
I do not, I just wanted to make the point, that it is not a thing that only women do. However, they probably are to onlyones getting mad about it. I dont always express myself in the best manner, because I might think ahead, forgetting that I need to explain the others where im comming from. All I wanted to say is that this is a more common mistake that Lindy depicts it.
I dont know, maybe not being native I did not express myself correctly and came off wrong, which is pretty Ironic when you think about it.
Marge: He prefers the company of men!
Homer: Who doesn't?
Totally agree. As a member of the XX club, I find my own kind terribly taxing to be around. Women judge other women the most, and drama is just so easy to be stirred up over the mildest of things. As a result, 80% of my associations are male, which is sometimes sad because I can't really be a part of the boys club even though I share the same interests as then. It's fun to hang out with girls, but it gets really tiring, really fast.
If only you ladies didn't judge each other so much and be more like us guys. ^^''
When Lloyd talk about the one girl who was a bad fit with his wargaming friends, it's was simply a case of familiarity and shared memes. Girls can definitely be part of the boys club, you just gotta spend as much time in it as the boys do. Enjoy whatever hobbies make you happy.
Uh... Why can't you be part of the boy's club? I know, you aren't. But I think if you make it clear that you're not mean like that, most boys would happily have you in their all-men's activities. One of my best friend's girlfriend is well... a woman, and she is completely accepted in our group of friends as 'one of the boys.'
Lystic
Perhaps, but the real question is would you let her join y'all in a hunting party?
Lystic don't get me wrong it's not like I feel left out or anything. To clarify, I do hang out with guys a lot to play video games or do drinking games or whatever but there is a certain "boundary" so to speak that's strictly boys only. 😂
It's such a pleasure to hear you speak about things. It makes my day.
Is that OIL in the background? *Gets invaded by the USA
There are certain things I'd say to a man and not a woman:
"You should shave your moustache."
Yeah if you would say that you would lose your head
Although I'm a woman, I couldn't stop laughing about the example with the window. Yes, I know, men need easy and clear instructions!!! Even today I asked my (male) colleague to open the window. I just said "please open the window". You see, we can learn to speak "man".
I think the simplest solution to any conversation, whether you are male or female is:
Say what you mean, mean what you say
Anything in excess of this is intellectually dishonest, and ought to be treated as such.
I've watched this video yesterday, and today my wife asked me "Do we want to order dinner from that Asian restaurant in town". Not really feeling the appetite for curry, I've honeslty said "No". Guess what, WRONG ANSWER. Lesson learned, I'll be sure to pay more attention to these videos... and to those hidden commands in innocent questions my wife asks. :)
Ah yes, that fashion of the day, a pirate game. You have a very peculiar set of friends 🤣
Sounds like your experience with the "woman that ruined the event" has nothing to do with being a woman. It has to do with her not being a war gamer with a shared history in the group.
I'm a biologically female gamer who has not had a dissimilar experience. As a gamer, most of the friends I made in university were men, but there were a couple of other women. When we are all together as our mixed group, even after years of living geographically far apart now, with shared history and shared interest, it's like nothing changed. If someone brings a spouse or significant other, be it a woman or a man who is the new person, it changes the environment. Of course it does. It's just a simple matter of in group/out group
Maybe the example wasn't perfect, but from my experience, and most of my male friend's experiences, A single or more females do change the group dynamic drastically.
Even when the women are part of the same friend group, when it's only guys there is a big difference.
I would even say that often an out group male has a smaller impact than an in group female.
"As a gamer" XD
I am a 17 year old boy who goes to an electrical engineering high school which is like 99% boys (just like a medical school would be probably mostly girls). We have 2 girls and 29 boys in our class and naturally the two of them formed a close friendship.
Us guys go wild when they aren't there and the atmosphere is much more relaxed and everyone is having a great, fun time. As soon as the girls come in, everybody quiets down and the fun is over. Even if the female is very unattractive, she will bring sexual tension an irrelevant or boring conversation with her, which just doesn't work with guy-gatherings.
@Enclave Soldier God Bless the Enclave.
I don't even care if I agree or disagree with you. It's just nice to hear from someone who's generally reasonable and not totally caught up in the politics of the questions you're answering. So many things you said in this video are obviously true to everyone living a normal life, but would be decried as completely sexist if presented in an academic or political setting.
Thanks for not being afraid to be honest.
For me, it depends on where we are. If it's a desert island, I'd prefer all male group. If its something like a drinking night/party , then mixed.
I don’t like how everything has to be “an insult to women”. Like seriously, I don’t think they get insulted that easily.
Question: Is Lindy gey?
Answer: No, u
I like that you're willing to share your blatant opinion with us. It makes me happy you don't feel you have to censor your words as many people do nowadays :)
Lindy, we all know you most enjoy spending time with your 3 in one multi-purpose oil
You're really good at answering tough questions! This is almost like asking you to choose to live for the rest of your life with either your left leg or your right leg.
1:15 as someone with asperger's syndrome I don't get hints or social ques so when this happens, I just never open the window, the other person gets pissed off and then usually leaves.
Another advantage of keeping company of men is that they don't object when we keep our hairs unkempt.
But how would women gain these shared experiences if they're never invited for not having the experience from before...?
I really like these videos. I do hope you'll make more. Your opinions on these silly questions are rather insightful, and are rather enjoyable (like all of your videos)!
There's a fourth answer. Just your own company. That's my own preference. Billy no mates. 😊
I, too, prefer a happy and tranquil life.
Hey man, solitude is great. But too much will drive you insane.
I've lived alone for 30 years, and Mr Potato says I'm fine.
Hermit Oldguy
Wait actually? I'd love to speak to someone who's spent this much time alone.
@ Dtrain You can ask me anything. I don't promise to reply. Email might be better, both for privacy and to avoid clogging up this thread.
hermit.oldguy@gmail.com
Someone's going to watch this and be absolutely furious he didn't claim that every woman is great to have around every time in every situation.
Yagi Why?
Because the internet's ease of communication and wide audience mean that people with strong niche opinions have a much larger presence than they normally would.
People have to be encouraged by something to leave a comment, and outrage is an effective motivator. So someone that holds an extreme belief in opposition (or sometimes insufficiently supported) to the views espoused on the internet is more likely to leave a comment.
Also feminism is a Big Deal™ right now so there's more prevalent extremist opinions on the subject.
Tomewyrm Draconus
Behind every great man, there's a woman rolling her eyes.
Lily that's sexist. Just because it's pro-woman doesn't mean it's not sexist. Which is my big problem with feminism, too many adherents treat it as a zero-sum game and feel like they have to tear down men. It's stupid.
Hence my egalitarian viewpoint. There's trash on both sides of the street, how about we clean up the trash instead of trying to bury the other side in it to make your side appear better solely in comparison, rather than actually making it better?
Tomewyrm Draconus
I just thought it was funny. Feminists don't like me much cause I think a woman's place is in the home. Scary aye,?
The wargaming story may not be a bad experience because of a woman joining, but because a stranger joined in on a game that you where hoping to have just with close friends.
On-top of that, the girlfriend was a newbie to wargaming. If she was already a close friend, or if she was familiar with the game, then it probably would have been a positive experience.
But it clashes with the redpilled agenda that women are thots. /s
Easy thought experiment to test your hypothesis: what would have happened if the guy had brought along his brother or some other man instead of his girlfriend? In my experience, that scenario hasn't led to that sort of shift in group dynamic.
Yeah - it really helps if you know the woman in question well beforehand. I used to play a DnD game with my uncle on the weekends, and a very good (female) friend and her younger brother would often join in. She wasn't exactly a stereotypical "girly-girl" - she was a very tough young woman who liked contact sports and martial arts, like most of the women I've known. She was a newbie, but so was most of the rest of the group, so she fit in well with us. It's important to remember that there will ALWAYS be more difference between individuals than between groups, and to judge people accordingly.
No, she had gamed a lot, and the men were not close.
I am told (by women) that women generally are very aware of the social context and their social status within a group, where men (in my experience) tend to focus on the group activity rather than the group dynamic. It's the difference between "a _group of people_ playing a war-game" and "a group of people _playing a war-game_ ".
Can I just say that you get a better class of comment with a Lindybeige video.
There are many languages that require indirectness as a form of politeness. Japanese is a good example, in English we’d say “let’s go to the library” were in Japanese while you could say that; it would be rude because in a way your imposing your will onto another person, they’d say something more like “are we maybe going to the library”. I suspect that since woman are societally expected to be meeker this has led them to this way of speaking. Just a thought from someone with an interest in linguistics.
Women who try to test you, test my patience. I simply wouldn't tolerate it, and would likely tell them off. I have zero interest in playing foolish games with people. Reasonable women, however, can be great to be around. I think I prefer associating with them more than men.
Lloyd, I think the answer you're looking for is "no".
I love watching you over analyse these questions!
I'm an introvert, so...I don't really like groups too much to begin with, to be honest.
Basically, I find most groups (not exclusively) lacking much depth. And as a good rule of thumb: probably too much of any one thing--particularly to the detriment of another--isn't genuinely warm, welcoming, or ideal.
That having been said: while admittedly NOT in large groups, woman have, as individuals, far more consistently treated me with concern and respect; i.e. as an equal. I wish that I could say the same for most dudes, blokes, mates or whatever have you; though, sadly, that has not been the case, at least for me.
As for topics to discuss with women: that really depends on the woman, doesn't it. One should never assume.
My best teachers certainly--those that were, in retrospect, simultaneously the most insightful and most humanitarian--were all Nuns in fact. They were far from selfish, superficial, arrogant or ignorant. And truly, if I should want to emulate anyone, I think: I should imitate them most of all. Anyone should.
Frankly, that's the sort of woman I would marry in a hurry. Even if it cost me the world.
For groups are fine--but you can't marry a group!
Find the one person that you can share everything with; someone to plumb the depths of your soul. And begrudge them not; neither your interests, nor theirs.
agreed. I’m happier alone, I tend to wade through society’s groups. I just really need someone close.
This is a dangerous question, thank you for taking it on anyway!
Yeah that little oil can really completes the set
the only youtuber who can pull of having oil, a sombrero and a sling in the background
I (a male) had a mate (a male) who would always ask me to do things by saying 'Do you wanna...?'. It used to drive me crazy. I don't think this is exclusively a 'woman' thing. It's just a 'certain type of person' thing.
Did you mate grow up in an all female household? Women are passive as hell, and i grew up in a house of all women and my male friends growing up, there was deffinately a difference of communication, we couldn't understand each other. I finally manned up, ralized the issue was me, and learned how to be a man. I stopped doing all the BS i had done before without realizing it.
99% of male viewers kept one eye on that 3 in 1 oil for the duration of the video ,99% of female viewers did not notice it at all.
In my interests I find it hard enough to find other males that like to pc game a lot or that love to go shooting, like metal music, etcetera, and like to talk about those subjects regularly, and finding any woman that are interested in those subjects I find almost impossible.
So yeah I'd pick men if I had to choose
I love the old British culture and characters. Thank You Sir ! - From a young man of Irish Welsh ancestry living in America.
I am a man in rural, mountainous California. And I prune trees. Lots of fruit trees and small or medium ornamental trees. Mostly men want to talk about tree work when I visit their home. But a woman with whom I am comfortable will have a broader range. And if one of her girlfriends happens along, they may talk mostly to eachother in my presence, but in the last 20 years or so, they have lost all inhibition around me. They talk about the most intimate feminine things! Including how tight trousers fit and what shows, and where on a woman's person. Gasp! Not that I minded, but there have been some real surprizes! It's been an education, I tell you!
But for general topics I enjoy chatting with one woman very much. I like the friendship connection and the places where we agree.
These conversations can happen as I work on their fruit trees, during a coffee break, etc.
One thing I do like is teaching about proper pruning. A man will listen and may or may not get it right when he tries it. A woman usually focuses in on the treatment of the tree. Kindness, healing and so on. Some women become great pruners.
Honestly, listening to my brother talk to his friends from the other room, I really see what you mean about men having to change their attitude around women
on the other hand, my friends don't jokingly insult each other and we've gotten into 100% fewer fights than my brother and his friends (we do have 1 guy in our group, but I don't know if that really changes much)
“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” deals with the miscommunication brilliantly.
If I had to choose from those three groups I'd always choose the mixed group. But it always comes down to the individuals. But more often than not I choose to be alone than with someone or just with the family (excl. parents, siblings, other relatives).
Christmas Rapping ... Noice Lindy :D
I read all the comments about the oil. I was confused why that part stood out to everyone, and why I didn't remember him commenting on that at all.
Jokes on you. I prefer to be left alone
Shadow747 outstanding move
Men only spaces being fine!?!? The Feminist Inquisition would disagree (but they ignore women only spaces)
That Jane Austen thing made me think... I don't actually know how women talk to each other when they're on their own. Now I'm imagining when they go into the bathroom in a club together they may as well be talking in an alien code that no man understands and we'll never know.
This also puts a rather interesting spin on the Bechdel test. Since most films are made primarily by male directos, screenwriters, etc., their experiences only extend to male-male and male-female interactions. It may not be an explicitly held policy, but perhaps there is some subconscious effect.
Orocius Oh yeah, the ideologists got to the idea first it seems and assumed the phenomenon is reflective of sexism inherent in the entertainment industry. Nope, men just don’t know how women talk to eachother in the absence of men, simple as.
There is a lot of judging, a lot of making sure the other girls aren’t toooo drunk, a lot of talk about beauty products and health, and then food. Lots and lots of food.
Due to my work (security, bar work) and hobbies/interests ( exercise, fight training, politics and more philosophical stuff) it's extremely rare to find a woman i can have a decent conversation with. I find trying to have female friends to be a giant waste of time and energy. There is a female within our core group who fits in well and she would tell you yourself how exasperating she finds most females to be around.
Although this would apply to both genders it applies to females a lot more but I also have a disdain of materialist and consumerist obsession which is something that seems to be ingrained and can not seperate myself from.
This is the truth of truths.
I really like how you gave your actual opinion, and didn't necessarily try to give a politically correct answer.
JeroenEch ...why would he?
Lloyd dropping those red pills.
Such as?
Virolaxion shit tests
Yes definitely. Recognising that women can test men haha so woke. Fucking what.
That women do retarded test that will only piss people off.
I worked in a male dominated industry, skydiving instructor. Now I rehabilitate kids and its female dominate, its also a vipers nest that replicates ancient Greece or Rome for back stabbing and subterfuge.
I respond to those sorts of questions with more questions
"Do you want to open the window?"
"Why do you want the window open?"
1:18 I had had this situation in my life. A Teacher asked my friend did he throw something (probably empty bootle) to wastebasket, he didn't do it so she shouted him and gave him warning
While I have experienced the unexpected girlfriend showing up for gaming the story would have been the same if the person brought their male friend along who wasn’t into gaming or didn’t know the in jokes. One mates girlfriend is into gaming and has been made an honorary lad for lads night and fits right in. When I looked after a software system in work I would sometimes visit an all female office and be working away quietly in the corner un-noticed and it was eye-opening once they forgot I was there. I find it more relaxing in female company though as while it’s fun, the constant banter, one upmanship and showing no weakness in all male groups can be tiring.
This comment was written by a woman. Only women think males are constantly trying to one up each other or shy away from showing weakness because that's what they might do in the presence of women.
Despite you taking your sweet time with the answer I enjoyed this video immensely.
Okay, so without trying to start a war, you're almost right about "Do you want to open a window". We totally mean "Open the window", but it's not a test. It's not "Will he actually do it??" it's just us trying to politely tell you what we want you to do, so if you don't then do it, it feels like a slight, but in reality it's likely just a miscommunication.
You could make the argument "Why don't you just say what you mean", and that's ultimately a pretty complex issue, but ultimately I believe the answer would be "Politeness" or "we probably just should, shouldn't we?"
coatduck I'm pretty baffled by this window scenario. Are windows hard to open in England? Simply curious.
"if you don't then do it, it feels like a slight" And there's the problem.
Stupidity beyond belief, stop living in stereotypes.
Yes, it is a miscommunication, and that's the problem. Men are not mind readers and some of us aren't ready to just guess what you mean on the off-chance we get it incorrectly. It's better to just be clear and blunt with us.
I think what she means is we're taught by our own women culture we have to be super polite, even when it's stupid or unnecessary. It's almost like we're also being taught men might get upset if we don't, which is stupid. A relic from past times I think.
Being unable to communicate is not a "women" problem, it's a "dumb" problem. I have been around women who know exactly how to properly communicate, I have been around (and myself have been at some point in my life) men who are absolutely clueless in communicating.