Jaden Smith is the future of professional surfing!
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- In the latest episode of Chas Smith Hates Surfing, the author of Cocaine and Surfing and Welcome to Paradise, Now Beat it Haole Kook, posits on the new-look world of professional surfing, which includes candy haired minstrel Jaden Smith.
(Despite same last night, no relation.)
In a story published over the weekend on BeachGrit, and featuring footage of Jaden Smith, Chas Smith wrote:
There was once a time, and not long ago, when parents who observed a flash of water talent in their young charges could easily imagine a gilded future just over the horizon. Watching, say, their little seven or eight year snag a pocket barrel, maybe even little air revo, and boom. A straight path to sponsorship riches. Incentives. Film and travel budgets.
Alas, that time not long ago but, also, an entirely different era. The surf fan has observed top-level World Surf League Championship Tour talent showing up to events with sticker-less noses. She has watched as the last remaining mega-brand, Authentic Brands Group x Bluestar Alliance, flexed its monopoly muscles and shredded contracts.
Things are, indeed, as bleak as they appear for our heroes and heroines. An industry insider with direct working knowledge of such matters informed me, yesterday, “I am seeing good money is now 25% of what it was for the elite of elite. Everyone else it’s zero.”
Bleak? No!
Jaden Smith, the progeny of fist-swinging cuck Will Smith, will save pro surfing!
Watch, listen, agree!
I hate surfing and love cocaine. The rush is real
Maybe you could start a go fund me for pro surfers, I'd love to donate.
Teach them things like the difference between you're and your.
Chas your an errand boy sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill AND we love ya. Keep it up because we hate saying good morning to others as we check out the waves in the morning and then have to out compete them in the line-up.
The Tour is dead.
Here is what should be done to save pro surfing.
WSL should be set up like UFC. They should hold cards at Premier locations only under Premier conditions.
Head to head only.
There should be three divisions. Big wave , slab, and high-performance.
Each division has a ranked top 10 and a Champion.
Example: Felipe vs Ethan at Jay Bay
John Vs Medina at Chopes
Billy Vs Twiggy Jaws
Prize Fight Style.
It would create that incredible sensation that we all got to live when Andy and Kelly battled out at pipeline. No one gave a shit about anyone else in that contest. We were there for the big showdown.
That’s what we need.
Prize fighter style 🤙
Don’t blame the sponsors. Blame those involved in the controlled demolition of the economy. Also, if you “hate surfing” then why bother commenting on it? And if you “hate” the commercial aspect of surfing, then why aren’t you happy that professional surfing is dying? Explain yourself, yo.
I'll explain it for him. Chaz is being ironic. . . that's his schtick, and that's what makes this so funny. He actually loves surfing and wants nothing but the best for surfing, surfers, and the culture of surfing.
Hold on,… is that a book you wrote about cocaine and surfing?
Surfer's Lives Matter!!!
🤣🤣🤣
SOPS!
God help us
In my opinion, watching surf contests is boooring as hell, the best part is the highlights and with Instagram or RUclips, who needs to be a professional surfer when you can make more money than winning a contest. And also who cares. 🤣🤣🤣
For the last 20 years it's been a wealthy folks sport. These days all of the gear is spendy, boards, wetsuits, and the necessary accoutrements. If your a grom you need to have won the parental lottery and that consist of a single breadwinner family, so you can surf more then just on the weekends. How many young groms come from lower class families? 0
Zeke,s a Trustafarian. If he was raised east if the I5 he wouldn't be a pro. Surfing is a straight-up an elitist sport. 🤙