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What Can/Can't You Do in the Hospital? | Sarah Lavonne
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- Опубликовано: 8 мар 2021
- I get asked all the time what "can" I or "can't" I do in the hospital? Or I hear that laboring/birthing people weren't "allowed" to do something in labor... I'm here today to remind or tell you for the first time that you matter, you have rights as a patient, and help you navigate this in the hospital with your care team! I'd love to hear how your experience was in the comment box below! Can you relate?
Here's the Patient Bill of Rights (I know it's from the Cancer Society but it still applies to you): www.cancer.org/treatment/find...
In Spanish: www.cancer.org/es/tratamiento...
Other helpful links:
medlineplus.gov/patientrights...
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Disclaimer: all information shared is for educational purposes only and framed through the lens of birth in North America. Please consult with your doctor before attempting any of the suggested things. Anything mentioned in any of my videos is never to replace the advice of your doctor or midwife. Make sure to check with them before you try anything suggested in my videos and if you have any further questions. I do not give out medical advice.
I am currently 40 weeks and 3 days and my doctor suggested induction at 39 weeks. My mom went to the doctor appointment with me and was so bothered when she heard me respectfully advocating for myself and my baby by declining any intervention until past 41 weeks. My mom was baffled and said I was wrong in not following what the doctor had suggested. Mind you I’m low risk and me and baby are doing really well and we are both under no pressure to rush labor. And I explained to her why I did what I did and she said that back in the day when she had her 4 children she would just do whatever the doctors wanted and never asked questions. I also told her about some empowering birth vlogs where I saw moms advocating for themselves and taking the wheel in labor and my mom does not agree with any of this. It’s sad to learn this was her idea of labor and how she was conditioned to think you have no say when laboring in a hospital. and now I’m not so sure I want her in the room with me when I give birth. I don’t need her negativity… on the other hand my fiancé is 100% supportive and I think I’ll be okay with just him. I’m so grateful for all the information that we have access too now thanks to the internet and people who make content like this to educate everyone. Thanks for a great video 😊
What ended up happening?
How did your birth go?
Update?
It's giving I suffered so you should too
I’d love to hear an update on your pregnancy. Hope you are safe
I'm going to print this list, make it pretty and bring it to my birth. Feel free to steal and adapt!
1. I have complete and primary autonomy over my body.
2. I have the right to make decisions about my body.
3. I have the right to the information that will help me make those decisions (risks, benefits and alternatives)
4. I have the right to refuse care after being informed.
5. I have the right to consent over what happens to me and my baby.
6. I have the right to question my providers decisions or thinking around those decisions and engage in exploratory conversation.
7. I have the right to decide who gets to touch me and how.
8. I have the right to know everything that's being done to me and for me over the course of receiving care in the hospital.
9. I have the right to know how much this care costs, as well as the alternatives, before consenting to it.
10. I have the right to create the birth memory that I want.
My labor, my birth, my body, my baby.
Yes! Wonderful idea!
Very useful
Love this! Thank you! Typing it up and printing it out
Thank you for doing this video. I feel that sometimes nurses and doctors abuse their position and dominate the patient and take away the patient’s choices. I was a caretaker and I had to advocate for the person I was caring for when nurses and doctors became dictators and started treating the incapacitated patient like an animal. I am always wary of health care providers and their god complexes. I really appreciate you educating people on their rights.
The majority of hospital providers absolutely DO NOT follow these guidelines. They operate mostly from a position of power, control and egotism. They absolutely hate it when moms decline their advice and suggestions. They will coerce and even lie to get parents to comply with what was advised. Many times they aren’t even paying something because it’s evidence based, but instead because they desire compliance with POLICIES & ROUTINES. It’s sickening and it’s dangerous! I agree with what you’re teaching and I believe it SHOULD work the way you’re describing, but the reality is very disturbing.
Agree
This is why I see midwives at a birth center. I don’t trust hospital staff at all
I love conflict. If they wanna try me, especially when I’m not feeling 100%, I will be heard. They don’t want to fight me
"I understand the risks and take responsibility" love that
This is my 4th baby and I’m so glad to have found you and your channel. I also worked in a hospital for years. It’s infuriating to see how patients are treated (including staff who stand up for them) and I wish I had learned the techniques for pain coping and birth prep years and babies ago. I feel so failed by doctors and nurses for not helping to educate and give self confidence and control to the patient. You give women control and something tangible to do to help themselves. I adore you and the work you do. You change lives.
EVERYONE should watch this video, EV 👏ERY 👏 ONE 👏
I feel like many people need to hear these tips. Especially after the last three years. I fear that we’ve moved backwards in so many ways. So many hospital policies around the pandemic, at least here in Canada, have been hugely detrimental to patients and their families. We’ve forfeited so many of our rights in healthcare, including things as basic as informed consent, it’s going to take time and a lot of effort to get back to a place where people can feel empowered to advocate for themselves. Thank you for the work you are doing! Every little bit helps. ❤
Not pregnant, but chronically disabled and in the hospital frequently, and this is such a helpful video even for me. While a lot of my hospital experiences have been relatively neutral, I’ve certainly had a handful of negative situations where my preferences, feelings, and advocacy has been disregarded in favor of trying to get me discharged as soon as they could.
Yesss, do the autonomy of touch video. 40 weeks along, need information
I am currently pregnant with my 4th child and am watching as many videos of yours as possible, because I've never had a positive birth experience.
I rewatch this video every few months because it's just such a good reminder. Every time I watch this, without fail, I cry because I can feel how much you love your pregnant mamas and patients. God bless you and all of the positive change you are helping to make world wide with your influence and education.
😭😭😭😭 xo
I am extremely grateful for this video. I was 18 when I had my first and was pushed around and disrespected, which made it a traumatizing experience. Even with the two I had after, it was not traumatic but they did not educate me or let me make a lot of decisions for my body. This time around I am hyper vigilant and trying to understand my rights as I have a preference on how I deliver. I also have a huge fear of being pushed around, forced to do something that makes me uncomfortable, or being told the doctor "will not deliver my baby if I choose this." Watching this video makes me feel more secure in knowing I am aloud to tell them, "I understand but I still choose this way." Thank you so much.
I've seen a ton of labor prep videos, and I feel like this is the most important one. This should be the first one listened to by everyone!
Couldn't agree more
@@sarahlavonne Hi, hope all is well. I’am now 5 months and will soon be delivering in the hospital. I was curious on how to legally decline them cutting my umbilical cord at all? Thanks in advance!
Just tell them no! Make sure they know ahead of time too ♥️
I have learned more from you than I have learned from my midwife, and even the classes I took from the hospital! So thankful for you. I’m 37 weeks tomorrow so I’m binge watching all of your videos ❤️❤️❤️
Totally agree!
That’s because hospitals don’t actually educate you, they’re just indoctrinating you to be the perfect patient that complies to everything. When I saw my hospital teaches childbirth classes only one day, for one hour, I knew there was no way in the world to learn about childbirth in just one sit. I chose to sign up for Bradley Method course. It’s 12 weeks, and so far, I’ve learned a ton and it’s helped calm down my anxiety and has given me confidence! These videos are honestly just mini reviews.
Luckily I know this because I’m a healthcare worker but when I toured the hospital I was going to deliver, the nurse navigator told me “clearly you will be your own advocate”.
Which I knew was a translation that I was being demanding. It made me feel like I was being a problem patient when all I wanted was to eat, have intermittent monitoring and a tub to labor in. Don’t be afraid ladies to stand up for yourself.
That's absolutely why I see so many medical professionals themselves choose to not birth where they work or choose a birth center or home birth.
Thank you SO much for this video!! I'm pregnant and was recently hospitalized for a different health issue and I felt that I was not treated in a respectful way and it really put a lot of anxiety in my head surrounding giving birth. Going forward I'm really practicing advocating for myself and asking questions so that I can make the best decision and this video was so validating!
This is a great video to help empower women who have to or choose to give birth at a hospital. After 2 traumatic hospital births (due to maltreatment and unnecessary intervention) I'm now having a home birth for my third baby. I have never before felt so excited and at peace about giving birth, even the prenatal care with the home birth midwives is a breath of fresh air- no fear based care, very personal and very focused on the mothers rights and desires. AND they have a super low hospital transfer rate (they are very skilled at what they do!)
I LOVED this video!!!! You really reminded me of my midwife I used for our first daughter with most everything you had to say. She taught me three rules to advocate for myself, which came in super handy as we were in a foreign country at the that time. They were...
My body, my baby, my birth. With obvious understanding that doctor intervention may be need for additional care in the event of an emergency, however her three simple rules made me feel empowered as not only the patient, but as a new mama. Now back in the states, I’m ready to pop with baby #2 and feel so blessed to have a care team that is on board with the three rules I still keep with me. It was so refreshing to watch your video, I hope it empowers other mamas out there to advocate for themselves as well. I strongly believe that videos like this, gives new parents the voice they will need not only for themselves, but for their new little one as they step into the new role of parenthood Keep up the great work💕
Thank you so much for putting this together! I wish someone would have sat down with us and told us things like this when my son was born unexpectedly at 24 weeks gestation. Looking back now, I feel like all this applies to the NICU life as well.
Goodness I love this. I’m pregnant now with baby number 5. My last labor during the pushing stage a nurse kept putting the heart rate monitor on me and I know it was to check the baby but I kept telling her to stop it hurts. Because I was so focused on that I feel it took me longer to push him out. I ended up with a massive bruise on my stomach from her pushing that monitor on me so hard after I told her repeatedly to stop
I’ve been waiting for this video!! So excited! Thank you so much! What gets me is when providers tell you you’re not allowed to eat during labor. When you have a otherwise normal healthy pregnancy, not as risk for a c section (in which even if you did aspiration stats are very very low) they say you can’t eat during labor except ice chips. You need fuel for labor! And I can’t imagine being in labor for 24+ hours and not eating
Right! I'd like to see then tell triathlon runners that they can only have ice chips.... no water or food.
Damn!! I ordered a shit load of sushi when I was in labor ... and was fed grapes the whole time. Never occurred to me this might not be advised. I agree, I needed this to get through the 23 hrs !!
@@jumperc227 girl, I don't know about you, but I always found it hypocritical the way the placenta blood barrier was talked about with doctors. It was always used to conveniently push whatever point they want to make at the time. They tell you not to eat or drink all these things, but then tell you that a vaccine and whatever combination of drugs they want to give you in labor is no big deal.
I also wouldn't think they'd ask a person performing in a triathlon to not eat or drink, don't know why you'd expect that of a laboring woman. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
i agree! makes no sense at all! personally, while i was in labor in the hospital i had no appetite for anything (especially after i threw up) but if i had become hungry i’d have had no problem making my husband go get me food 😂 no one tells me what to do when hunger strikes lol
Yes! I did end up having a c-section but even after they only allowed me jello( they only had orange) for 2 days after incase I would need to have another operation. There wasn't a reason I would have too. My son was air lifted 3 hrs away and they wouldn't let me go to him until I could walk. I fainted when I tried. Well duh! I needed real food. Finally I told my hubby to just sneak in a meal.
I’ve had to advocate for myself when I was in the hospital. They aren’t used to that lol but I got what I wanted and felt very in control of my birth process
I so wish this video came out yesterday! I went to a high risk ultrasound because they thought there may be a chance of VSD in my baby. Right before the ultrasound I was blindsided with them telling me I was going to have a vaginal ultrasound first to check my cervix.... this is my 3rd pregnancy with zero history of cervical complications so deep down I knew I didn’t need nor want that to be done as it was completely unnecessary to the reason of me being there but I just didn’t speak up for myself. After the vaginal US portion of the scan I was not given the option to get dressed before the rest of the abdominal scan and as she was doing it the cord to the machine kept pulling the sheet down and my hooha was just out in the wind. It was seriously the most uncomfortable appointment I’ve ever been to. I wish I saw this video yesterday and I for sure would have stood up for my body and proceeded with what I was there for.
You’re full of wisdom and inspiration & lighthearted soul truly proves laughter is the best medicine, bloopers are my all time fav everytime 😘
Haha Love that!
You are an AMAZING teacher! My daughter is fixing to have her first baby (due 11/22). I’ve been watching a TON of videos on RUclips. You have become one of my absolute favorites. Thank you for sharing all of this information. I wish we would have found you sooner.
I am a doula and explain this to every client that I have, sometimes the medical staff can be so disrespectful that I have to step in and call the behavior out and I empower my clients to speak up also and I have their back to the fullest.
Same! Great job 👍🏿!
Yes
Will midwives do that?
Yes please! I’d love a video on autonomy of who touches me and where during the whole labor process!
I wish I would have found your channel before my first birth. It was just one unnecessary intervention after another. Wish I would have stood up for myself and said NO. I felt so vulnerable and out of it. But not for any future births! I’ve learned more now
I have been so blessed to have two wonderful, respectful experiences at my birthing center. Looking forward to a third in June! But I know every doctor, midwife, and nurse is different so thank you for sharing this info.
Thank you so much you don’t know how much I need this video 😭💔
Thank you Sarah🌹
I’ve had two vaginal deliveries at the same hospital and thank goodness both times have gone smoothly and all the nurses were very nice and attentive. Always putting me first. I live in a small town and I wasn’t expecting them to be so kind
The only hospital birth I've had was in a small town and I think that's exactly why I was treated with respect. They didn't have the same big hospital mentality. I drove an hour AWAY from a bigger hospital in a bigger city to birth there and they knew that.
the medical "teams" don't deserve any trust. it's not the patient's team, it's the hospital's team.
Many of them really operate on autopilot and you can’t forget it’s work for them, sometimes their vocation drive has evaporated specially during times like now during a pandemic they’re so burnt out. But that’s why it’s important for us to speak and for our support people/partners to walk w us and know our preferences and for their antennas to be full on catching info as we may be in the distress of labor or just in a zone in general.
This is a such a great video, I feel like it’s an early Xmas gift
Thank you so much
Thank you!! I feel so empowered to ask all the questions I need to to feel good about my delivery next month.
So thankful for this and you, due any day now and I’m binge watching your videos!
There are definitely a couple scenarios I wish I would have asked for risk and benefits. I was definitely was making decisions in my birth out of fear and just assuming my nurse and doctor knew what was best for me.
I’m glad I came across ur channel . I’ve been binge watching ur videos . I am currently pregnant with my third .!
I wish I could have advocated for myself during my first birth. A nurse came in to check me when she pulled her hand out I started having a really bad contractions and when I muttered out “contraction” when she asked me what was wrong she stuck her hand back in me to check my cervix during the contraction. That made the contraction even worse and also felt like an invasion where she didn’t get my consent to do so. 4 years later and I still will never forget that specific contraction
This happened to me as well. I swear if a nurse tries to pull that again this time around I'm going to tell her to get her hand out of me. It's really unacceptable, I don't know how it had become the norm 😡
Yes!!! I think in any health care situation you need to be your own advocate OR making sure you have someone there to help you advocate for yourself.
Definitely have someone who can talk for you because at some point talking in labor it's really hard to do. Like you can think of things you want to say, but getting them out of your mouth is WAY HARD.
A big part of the problem with nurses and doctors is they say stuff like demands. Like you don’t have any choices or options when they are talking about your care. They just tell you what’s gonna happen or they start touching you and putting an IV in or catheter BEFORE telling you what their gonna do to you or asking permission.
Literally one of the best videos on RUclips 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿! I really appreciate you doing this video! Excellent information, I learned so much🙏🏿! Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️❤️!
I have SOO many "what if's" with my last labour that ended in c-section... I REALLY wish I was more educated like I am now... I think my daughter's birth would have looked A LOT different... Trying for my VBAC and trying to let go and move on from the past.
Yessss same here
I told my on call doc absolutely no breaking my water until I have an epidural right off the bat and I am so glad I did and stood my ground.
Thank you for the video I just gave birth to my third baby 5 weeks ago and I finally had my amazing healing birth experience thanks to my nurse who was advocating for me I was asking if I could do things and she couldn't believe it, she was amazing I felt sooo free
I wish my hospital cared about my decisions with my first child... I asked to not be moved yet from the hospital bed to the postpartum care bed due to not being able to walk still from the epidural. My husband was out of the room giving our daughter her first bath.I asked to wait for my husband to help pick me up and move me since he's strong but the nurse tried to move me all by herself when I kept telling her no and dropped me on the ground!!!
So sorry you experienced this 😓!
You should do a video about postpartum nurses and hospital care; while I was with my labor and delivery nurses I felt like staying in a 5 stars hotel but when I was moved to postpartum it was like staying at a motel! I had my first baby 2 weeks ago and I felt that I was left alone, in so much pain, exhausted after 16 hours of labor with at newborn that I didn’t know how to take care
Yes! With my son they didn’t tell us that we had to feed him every 4 hours until she came in the room and checked on us. We was told when he goes poop let them know, so I did and the nurse was like “okay change his diaper.” And I’m like y’all told me to let y’all know when he goes poop. They showed the dad how to fold his diaper down with the umbilical cord but didn’t show me. They didn’t even tell me when h breastfeed that I’m not gonna produce a lot at first. They just left us as if we knew everything already.
@@mariexo yes, exact same thing here, they also didn’t tell us how much he was supposed to be eating if I only breastfed him until he peed orange 4 days after he was born!! I freaked out, it was horrible
@@angiesubiaolivo1972 it’s ridiculous how they just leave you as if you already have this knowledge being a first time parent.
They didn’t tell me anything about breastfeeding I had to keep calling them in the room and I got so fed up I told them give me a bottle because I didn’t know if he was eating or not.
Yet, we rarely remember our LnD nurse’s name. #guilty 🙋🏻♀️
the entire LandD ward had only one lactation consultant and when she finally arrived to see me 5 minutes before her shift ended she politely instructed me to manually express every hour throughout the night (she came to see me at 4:30pm) but never asked me if i knew how or if i needed her to show me. My arms were shot from the labor and i was still receiving antibiotics so i got tired after a few minutes of trying not succeeding… my son never got anything from me that entire night, the night nurse gave him a bottle when she took him for his dose of antibiotics, never asked if i was fine with formula she just informed me that she had changed him and fed him to get him to stop crying and sleep 😑
Having a baby is like preparing for a major exam. We need to read and educate ourselves! There’s lots of books and information. C’mon people! Highly recommend “What to expect when you’re expecting “.. Read the entire book with my first pregnancy.
I was definitely a push over during my labor. Looking back I wish I didn't care as much about being offensive by standing my ground on some decisions. My birth experience was good overall, but I'm thankful for this information so that I can be more confident and comfortable for future births.
One pet peev I had was the doctor talking about me in front of me to the nurse instead of including me in the conversation. If that happens next time, I want to address that right away.
What do you do if you just don't feel comfortable with the doctor on call?
the midwife attending my birth talked about me and my husband with the other nurses like i wasn’t there! and then the person (i never got a name or introduction) who stitched me up talked to the midwife about what had happened the moment my son was born as though i wasn’t awake and present there with them, that bothered me to this day, like hello! i’m right here in front of you, a person! not your lab rat 🙄
Good timing for this video! I recently switched from the hospital I had a GREAT experience at with my last baby to a much bigger one with less flexibility for my birth coming up in 4 weeks (4 weeks!!). I must say I've been nervous about what exactly my rights are in this new hospital.
Thank you for this! Next time I will be speaking up every time disrespect is shown. I was 21 when I gave birth last year and I was very mistreated. So much so that I was scared of getting pregnant again to go to the hospital again.
So happy I watched this!
When I was in active labor with my first baby one of my nurses forced me to get up and sit in a chair before I got an epidural she gave me no reason other than you are gonna be stuck in bed and wish you had gotten up I was super comfortable(well as comfortable as can be expected in active labor) laboring in bed flipping on each side so I wasn’t just stuck on one side but she told me to get up sit in a chair I said no thank you I’m comfortable laboring in bed it hurts way more once I get up she gave me no explanation as to the benefits or anything if there were any I wish she would have explained why I should beyond just you’re gonna be stuck in bed you need to move around when I was progressing fine I didn’t understand why she made me sit in an uncomfortable position after I had said no but at the time I felt I didn’t have a choice and I was half out of it with the pain I was in 🤦🏼♀️
I do want to give props to one of my nurses who was the sweetest lady she explained everything to me as she did it even if it was a little uncomfortable she always asked can we try this, this is what it will do or help with it may be uncomfortable but here are the benefits is this okay or we can try something else 🤍
Thank you so much for this! I am currently in the process of starting to try to get pregnant, but this is the part of the process that gives me the most stress and anxiety about giving birth! Truly as a lover of everything science and mind body spirit practices, in every area of my life. I am also a licensed massage therapist with a degree in applied science for massage therapy, for over 20 years. I talk to many and hate so much the way health care is. I am one of those that…. My body just doesn’t ever follow the typical normal rules, so I truly pay attention to everything my body experience’s. Plus I am super sensitive and feel everything. Thank you so much for easing my anxiety about this whole process!
Excellent information. Thanks
What about being discharged from the hospital early? I hate how they make you feel like you can’t leave for 48 hours or whatever, like you’re in a prison until they say you can leave. (even if everything went smoothly). Ive even heard, “baby can’t go home until discharged by a pediatrician.” What are your thoughts on that?
Yes I would like an answer to this question as well
My husband was stationed at a large military base when I was pregnant with my first. I had so many women tell me about a particular Dr that told them all, “if you don’t push in this position, your baby will die!”
We decided to go with local off post care and it was the BEST!
We planned my second baby so that we would have him before we moved duty stations just so we could be under my midwife 😂
We’ve once again moved and I’m having my third at the only hospital/birthing place in my area. It’s very very large and I’m very nervous because my prenatal care has been increasingly impersonal.
Thank you for the help! I’m feeling more confident!
I love the pelvis decor, I see at least two on the shelf 😂
Also, thanks for this video. We figured a lot of this the hard way with the first baby. But that was after a few weeks in the hospital (got a bad infection). Wish we had someone to tell us this before that first baby.
I don't trust my hospital to give me these rights and it makes me sad and upset. I hope you can read this and comment on it.
I'm really considering an unassisted home birth this time around if I can't fine a midwife to assist me with a home birth / birth center birth. I had my son in the hospital and at the time I was happy with the experience but in hindsight a lot of stuff happened I am not happy about. They didn't ask me about anything. They just told me what they were going to do. Even continuing after I protest. Etc. My nurse literally held a lip of my cervix down and told me to push to get my baby past so I could have him sooner because she had some weird personal goal for me to have my son before midnight. I told her that what she was doing hurt me (I was yelling out in pain and telling her no and to stop and that I couldn't push with her doing it - it hurt more than any labor and delivery pains I experienced). She kept pushing me to do it until she finally gave up seeming annoyed with me for not doing what she said. It was by far the most painful part of labor/pushing for me. It was terrible. I'm so upset about it and frustrated. This was the same nurse that increased my pitocin dose to probably max even though the nurse I had before the shift change promised me we'd only use the lowest dose needed to get labor going which I wasn't needing very much. I told the new nurse I didn't want to increase and again she wanted me to have my baby before midnight. I just don't think I can trust this hospital again and I'm not sure that I'm comfortable going to the next closest hospital that is an hour to an hour and a half away. Considering doing my own prenatal care and home birth just me and my husband if I can't find a midwife to help us. I just don't think I can trust these doctors.
I am so sorry you experienced this. If you are comfortable with doing so, you can report her to the hospital. She should never have done that, nor persisted after you clearly told her you wanted her to stop. ❤️
Free birth society podcast is very inspiring about women giving birth unassisted. My sister-in-law birthed both her first and second baby at home just her and my brother unassisted and my niece and nephew are the healthiest kids. My niece came out breached and everything went fine. Relaxing is probably the biggest key she said. It is definitely possible.
One of the two nurses who assisted me with pushing with my first daughter LAUGHED (well, really more of a giggle, but still!) while I was pushing! My epidural did not work. I was screaming, I was crying, I was trying to listen to two nurses, a doctor, my husband, and other people who rushed into the room because I needed an emergency assisted birth. She freaking giggled at me in the middle of a push, I assume out of her own frustration that I wasn’t able to push until “10” seconds, but I flipped on her. I screamed her right out of my room while pushing. Granted, I know I overreacted. However, it was not cool for her to be literally laughing while my legs are above my head in the most extreme and uncomfortable moment of my life- going through an emergency delivery- and when she was supposed to be my respectful, medical support. I was 19 when I had my first daughter, and I think a lot of how I was treated was due to my young age. My husband said he got that vibe as well. I also was not given choices or education on anything during delivery or postpartum care. I delivered at a wonderful hospital, but I was not provided certain items for comfort such as ice pads, dermoplast, etc. My doctor was wonderful, but my nurses were a nightmare and I truly will never forget how I was treated because of my age. (When I had my second daughter, I was older. I delivered at the same hospital, with the same doctor, and was treated MUCH nicer. So I’m absolutely convinced that was a big part of the reason.)
Good for you mama for speaking up for yourself!! I don’t think you overreacted at all, I would’ve done the same! I’m not taking crap from ANYBODY at the hospital when I’m in active labor and/or pushing!
Thank you so so much for this video!!
You should definitely discuss this in the context of postpartum.... Birth was fine and dandy. Afterwards there was an emergency elsewhere and I was left alone with my legs in the air for nearly 2 hours because the doctor or attendant left with us didn't know how to move the bed. They then put me in a room with a broken thermostat which I had to get up every 15 minutes to change the temperature. If I fell asleep at all, id wake up boiling or freezing and it made my baby run a fever. They forced me to stay for 4 days, fed my baby formula without asking.....ugh. It was awful!!
Wow. That was such a traumatic experience. Sorry, mother to mother. Can't you file a complaint?
wow that was terrible. If there was one time i got brave and stood up for myself was when the midwife on call came on day 3 and asked if i wanted to move to a postpartum room to which i frowned and flatly said “NO”. I already felt frustrated with them for keeping us so long and i was not going to move anywhere except to leave entirely. It also didn’t help her cause after she tried to convince me to not circumcise my son and getting into a religious conversation with me like i was illiterate 🙄.
I had taken your advice about making a birth ‘preference’ sheet where i mentioned that i didnt want the nurses offering me an epidural because i woukd instantly say yes whereas i would go longer if i had to ask for it.. maybe because of covid but the nurse looking at the monitor sheet A) didnt believe my water breaking story B) barely spoke to me or comforted me, just made me feel like what i was doing was so weird and over exaggerated. C) when i asked for the epidural, she stopped in her tracks, spun around and said in the most condescending voice “you said you didnt want one” like wtf?! You know i’m a first time mom and dont know what i’m walking into and should understand that and also, who are you to tell me what i want and dont want? I’m allowed to change my mind in the most pain i’ve ever been in.. also she said “i’ll ask the doctor” NOT TO MENTION i was strep b positive and wouldnt put me on the iv for it because she didn’t believe my water broke!!! Luckily i didnt have to deal with her long though..
That's when you ask to speak to the charge nurse and have your nurse switched! She should not have done that! I always tell them the same thing. Every birth is different. Some I can make it with no meds, but only I know when the pain is more than I can endure. When I'm ready, I will ask!
sad thing i was forced with lack fo knowledge to think a c section was best. when it wasnt and they were just in a hurry to get me out. we literally cried. i wish i watched this. because that birth was so traumatic and i felt robbed.Thank you for this.
All of your videos are so helpful 😊 thanks
Sarah, can you do a video on twins?
Also, I feel like my “rights” have been limited because I’m pregnant with twins. I feel like if I ask for limited cervical checks and intermittent monitoring, I’m going to hear that I’m “high risk” and my options will be limited. People keep telling me anyway that “You’ll most likely have a C-section”. I KNOW the statistics, but I feel like my autonomy has been diminished because of the twins. I had to search all over for a nurse-midwife practice that are more open to vaginal twin births, but I still feel like a crazy Karen wanting all the things for a singleton birth.
This has been my experience so far. Also could you address what is considered "term" for twins? I have been told that labour will be induced if they don't arrive by week 37... currently at 34weeks
@@kimb5802 yes! AND I’m a first-time mom (FTM) so are we later to deliver than 38 weeks like how FTM deliver on average 41 weeks with singletons? So with twins are we like, average gestation 39 weeks if left alone?
@@alisonleigh519 FTM here as well. I have no idea... beyond 38 weeks doesn't even seem like an option according to my Ob/Gyn. Would love if Sarah could address this.
@@alisonleigh519 How did things turn out for you?
Did you end up being induced? I'd love an update!
Pregnant with my second baby and I remember during labor with my first the doc was going to put internal monitors on the baby and I said can I pee first and the doctor said "I'm already here so let's just do it" and then broke my water with them! Without warning me that would happen!! 😭 And then proceeded to tell me to "just pee on the bed now because you can't get up now". I will definitely not let people treat me like that this time!!! Thanks for this video!!
Dr just did something similar to my daughter on 5-26. She broke her water at only 3cm...even though this was not part of her birth plan. (& we feel dr waited for me to step outside for short break) Before I stepped out I checked w/nurse & asked if everything stable & she assured me nothing would happen, everything going well. Not even 3 minutes later I got a text from my 20 year old daughter saying dr had unexpectedly/very quickly came in & broke her water! My daughter knew not to get this done until much later but Dr pressured her. She felt intimidated. That happened at about 2pm. Next time I stepped outside to grab a drink from my car: I had been watching monitors for hours, everything perfect: confirmed with nurse that everything going great. My daughter & her bf resting. I was assured again nothing would happen in the next 10 minutes. Then I got a call from her Bf saying they were taking my daughter for Emergency C section’ Again Dr entered when I stepped out & ordered emergency C section. This was at 5pm. I rushed back in found her room empty...Frantically asked all nurses at station: “what happened to my daughter “....they could barely look at me, to say taken for emergency C-section....Then I said , I wonder if breaking her water at 3 cm caused this??? They definitely could not respond. Seems to me this was Dr plan from beginning. Start pitocin at 11am, break water at 3 cm may guarantee a C-section by end of her work day; so she could make it home by 630pm & get the Exta pay for c -sec vs vaginal delivery. I’m still in shock about the greed involved!
@@shawnmarek5981 I'm so sorry your daughter had to go thru that! I was also 3cm and put on pitocin. Ended up having extremely low BP and heart rate before they would let me push and led to an episiotomy. I would not be surprised if doc wanted a c section for me too. The greed and sneakiness of some doctors and hospitals is so sad. Hope your girl and baby are doing well and you both can heal from that trauma. ♥️
My last labor I had to have an on call dr bc mine was sick. This dr was known for being rude and not caring, she kept examining me and trying to stretch my cervix even though I was 9cm and progressing. She just wanted me to hurry up. This caused extra and unnecessary pain for me and I told her to stop but she didn’t listen. I finally turned over to my left side bc she had me on my right which was stressful on baby and me, I then was able to push baby out unmedicated. I’ll make sure to inform my next dr that I have rights over my body and I will be heard and respected.
Thank you so much for this info!
Thank you! I've been trying to look into all this
No problem!
Great video! The last baby I had in September I kept going back and forth with wanting to breastfeed or not and I keep asking my nurses and they were so supportive of me either way. I ended up formula feeding cuz she was in the NICU and had to learn with a bottle in order to get discharged and I had a 20 month old at home and I just couldn't do breastfeeding. I kept asking my nurses and they said its whatever u feel comfortable doing! Loved all my nurses!!
Thanks for sharing!!
Thank you so much for this video .
Amazing video! Great job!
Thank you ❤️
It's sad that I have to watch this video even though I've given birth three times already but have trauma and ptsd from all three times and about to give birth a fourth time nobody stood up for me or cared about me in labor
My first thought about this video was how is a women in labor supposed to ask these questions and defend herself while in pain? Especially if she is doing it alone with no spouse? I'm having a hospital birth next month and I hate hospitals and how they make me feel powerless ( I've had bad experiences in hospitals) but I couldn't afford a midewife so I had no choice. I can't imagine myself being able to ask these questions and standing up for myself at a time when my body is going through something monumental.
I know this person already had their baby, but for anyone currently pregnant who is in the same boat, this is what a doula is for!!! A doula’s job is to support you, and that also means empowering you at the hospital when you might not have the mental faculties to do it on your own! Many doulas have sliding scales and most cities have volunteer doula services so please don’t just assume you can’t afford one!! Do some research you never know what’s available in your area. ❤️
This video was sent to me because my current OBGYN told me she wouldn't "let" me go a week over due without getting induced and I've told her I don't want to be induced unless theres a medical problem. She canceled my last appointment without letting me know and I showed up and was told to reschedule for friday because the doctor wasnt there and I'm past my due date.
Thank you so much for this video please make us more videos like this and Thank you so much there's more benefit
I want to know why they wouldn't let me take the monitors off. Honestly, that was the worst part of my birth experience, I was just so cold and wanted to be able to cover my belly. I mean, they were super nice, turned off the AC (it was August, everyone in the delivery room was sweating buckets and I kept saying nope, keep it switched off, I'm still kind of chilly). They also let me go to the bathroom no problem and in fact were like "yeah of course you can go to the bathroom", they just would not let me take the monitors off for even 5 minutes to let me try to get my belly warm.
If it helps, the labor was induced but I only needed an hour of pitocin and was having contractions every 2 minutes, after that everything progressed naturally and I didn't even use an epidural, whole process was 6 hours from start to finish.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Even in this case, they can't force you to be monitored. If they kept refusing I honestly would have just taken the monitor off myself and then asked them to put it back on after 5 minutes. They can't refuse that and they can't force it back on you if you take it off.
You are the best!
When I was 19 I had a miscarriage and the doctor who gave me the check up told me " Well you shouldn't be getting pregnant at this age, this is what happens!" He made me feel so bad! Besides being scared which he saw, hence his comment. Nowadays, I would not stay quiet!
Why shouldn't a 19 year old have children? Practically prime of physical strength and hormones! Looney Dr.
When I was in labor with my 2nd baby, our nurse yelled at me for using the bathroom and told me I couldn't get out of the bed. My husband says "she's just peeing...?" She gets in his face with her finger and says "don't mess with me, sir I will call security on you" This stressed me out so bad that my labor stalled at an 8 for 5 hours 😭 I definitely didn't feel respect as the patient and most definitely did not feel like I had rights
I am so so sorry for your experience. This is exactly why bundle birth nurses exists. Hoping to help make change for the future
When they take the baby away to nursery or health evaluation, unless they allow your husband to go with them, or you feel well enough and are allowed to go with them, how would you know what they are doing? You can refuse the health evaluations, that's about it. But if the baby is in the nursery, then what? It's just unrealistic to have any rights while in the hospital...
You can request to have everything done in the room with you.
I wish I had seen this video earlier. I was transferred to a high risk hospital. The nurses wouldn’t let me take a shower for 3 days nor give me anything for pain. But they kept demanding me be on continuous fetal monitor. No matter how much I begged. I had to call my manager crying hysterically she was reaching out to everyone especially when she heard the nurse come back in with an attitude saying “go get in the shower”. They were fed up they transferred me to antepartum. But don’t get me started about my IOL. For a first time mom my labor experience was not the best I thought it was going to be. It was a nightmare
This would have been SO helpful with my first three years ago! I had two nurses during my postpartum days that were horrible, the other 4 were amazing. I'm also lucky to have an amazingggg and extremely educated and experienced ObGyn.
Side note, when I ask if I can go to the bathroom, while being in the hospital for whatever reason, is to legit ask if it's okay go to because of a medication I just got in the IV or whatever lol.
I needed this video. My care providers are trying to induce me at 38 weeks, supposedly I’m high risk even though I’m absolutely healthy and so is baby. I’m doing everything in my power to induce myself naturally to avoid this, but frankly I think I’ll skip my induction date.
Any update?
This is why I don't want midwives or alot of interference. I don't want to hear "you're high risk" or anything negative like that.
Also if you want the epidural, you can totally ask for it before they break your water. I didn’t even think I had that choice with my first and i cried in pain from them breaking my water
I wish we had one of you in NZ!! 41 weeks 3 days overdue and I'm having to call people in hysterics to ask why nothing is being done to help get her out, finally got an appointment but feel so unsupported by the system over here
Oh really? My midwife was amazing in NZ. Also 42 weeks is “normal” gestation in France, so I wouldn’t worry that baby isn’t out yet...I’m impressed actually that they haven’t pushed for induction etc
For me , I was hooked up to the monitor , I wanted to walk around but luckily I didn’t have it taken off because during my contractions my daughters heart rate was dropping too low . Almost turned to a emergency c section. But had her naturally . She was born after 25min of pushing .
But what I didn’t like tho is the nurse 👩⚕️ was being so rude towards me . I live in British Columbia 🇨🇦
My first birth, my first L&D nurse was absolutely horrible to me. She wouldn’t give me ice chips because I was nauseous but um hello, I’m nauseous because I stopped eating since admittance and I’m pregnant. Strike two was when she gave me a cervical check and when I was crying and begging her to stop she wouldn’t. Strike three was after said check, she left the room and I fell into my husband and cried. She burst back in the room and told me to collect myself and stop crying because she didn’t want to put me on oxygen. I couldn’t even f***** cry. There were so many other strikes but my birth memory is ruined, not just because of the pain and her trying to prevent my epidural, but her all together.
My sisters have said that a lot, that they don’t feel like they have rights.. my babies were all born with midwife so I didnt know that first hand
I really wish I saw this video when I had my son. I would love for you to go in to more how to deal with hospital staff that is not being respectful in busy situations and how to approach not wanting someone in your room. Also how can I do that one on one call? I would really like you opinion on my birth story.
The link for the bill of rights is all about insurance plans. I don't see anything about hospitals and medical staff procedures.
I didn’t receive respect, the nurse who took me my room said “no you can’t use the restroom” and “you will take your clothes off in front of me put them inside this bag and lay down on the bed” I also didn’t feel like they were trying to comfort me into giving me confidence during labor, there was only one nurse with me the whole time before 3 other nurses + doctor showed up right when I was delivering. The whole time I had to hold on to the rail, count and breath on my own. All they kept telling me was to breath and to calm down because my “contractions aren’t high and have calmed down”
Could you talk or explain more about extra lobes on the placenta? I found out that I have one and luckily it’s no where near my cervix but it still makes me concerned. Could you cover stuff like for example why does this happen? What if it detaches from the placenta? Etc.
Great video! Thank you. Is there an at a glance document with the assertive sentence starters that we can use and have handy to advocate against something?
I have had ONE positive experience with a doctor in the last 16 years. I want to find a good fit, but I now have a ton of anxiety in relation to seeing medical professionals.
Thnks sister
Sarah love you and your knowledge you've helped me so much throughout my pregnancy. Would you be able to talk about the proper way to stop breast milk production safety? Everyone I ask talks about binding the breasts to stop flow but that doesn't seem right to me.
Yes my Dr with 1st baby during labor suggested if I was his daughter he would recommend a C-section which was not what I wanted a few hours later I delivered my baby had to have episiotomy tho. My body my decision.
First of all Thank you for this video. And does this mean I can be like “um no, I’m sorry I’m still going to eat food” when they tell you if your in labor you’re not allowed to eat
Never once received respectful care in a hospital.