Anyone else notice for #1 op was pregger first, announced it and then affair partner suddenly knocked up around the same time. Dad is such a sleeze and what’s with her family? Even the siblings don’t have her back. Poor thing
@@nancyomalley6286 maybe the brother is already brainwashed by the dad and the family that cheating is totally fine because it sound none of them care about he fact that he cheated
Anyone who can’t handle a couple hours without booze are pathetic. Just have your wedding your way. Focus on your love and joy, any friends and family who can’t on board can fudge right off. Enjoy a beautiful day. Your aunt sounds horrid, I’d be thrilled she won’t go.
Yea I don’t get it, and I do like a bit of weekend drinking. But it’s an event ; I don’t see why no alcohol is such a deal breaker for these people. They’re more of alcoholics than they let on
Lol! "Soda is too unhealthy, you should serve cocktails instead!" Is probably the funniest reason I've heard from these stories of relatives/ friends trying to pressure the couple getting married to have booze at the reception.
I was mad about the Title! They made it seem like OP made the Post, but it was just a Comment! I wanted the Kick Back, because dad & stepmom deserved to be called out! OP's siblings need to get on the same page...
Story 1 was pouring with hypocrisy and made me mad for the OP because the fact that his side of the family is calling OP petty but not the fact that her dad cheated on his wife and is basically trying to continue her legacy with the woman he broke up his family with?! I'm soo done. OP isn't even close of being an AH. Her family is, though. Also, why is the brother ok with this? I would be pissed at the dad and his mistress for doing this, knowing they broke up a family.
The dry wedding story: NTA. If you want a dry wedding, you have dry wedding. I was a bit confused about why OP was so adamant about it but when we got some back story on her family and their relationship with drinking, I got it. The soda unhealthy, booze healthy thing is laughable. I bet she’s having more than a glass of wine daily.
I’d bet good money I’ll be a similar situation to OP once I get married lol. My partner and I already agreed that we’d either have alcohol or kids, but not both. Between him not drinking, alcoholism running rampant in my family, and us actually liking my baby cousins, I’m sure there’ll be a few butthurt relatives when they find out we’re having a dry wedding
Also along with paying for the alcohol, Op would need to get a permit, provided the place even allows alcohol on the premises. Some places also require a fee for extra security if alcohol is served. These are fees I’m sure aunt wasn’t going to pay for.
Coloring your hair silver is the opposite of making fun of older people. It's saying, "Silver hair is beautiful and I love the way it looks so much I want it for myself." If it's doing anything, It's redefining beauty standards that usually enforce the idea that women can't be perceived as beautiful once they're passed a certain age.
For my 16TH birthday party, I asked my mom not to serve alcohol. Her response was “of course I’m serving alcohol! Us adults have to have fun too!” Most of the guests WERE adults and some of them I didn’t even know because my mom invited all of her friends. Only one person there was someone I actually invited. I think that was the party where, not even an hour in, my stepfather was so drunk that he asked my mom “who’s the hot girl bouncing on the trampoline?” The “hot girl” was my sister’s friend… who was a middle schooler…
It's not even the entire day but a few hours. I have been to a dry wedding and a few dry birthday parties in the past. It's no big deal. I also like to have a few drinks at a reception or party but if the host says it's a dry event I keep my mouth shut or don't attend. It's a waste of time and energy complaining about no booze at a party I am not hosting.
the aunt sounds like how my aunts are, every 'family dinner' 2 or more bottles of wine were gone in the time i had one soda. I stopped going because i was done paying for their booze fest.
The dry wedding story: NTA. ANYONE that claims that a party (any kind of party or event really) isn't a party without beer (or other kinds of alcohol) has a problem (most likely). The way I see it, partially because my dad passed due to liver failure at 50-51, a dry party is a "party to tell your liver you love and appreciate it taking care of you"-party
Story 1 - NTA. Your father lost any right he might have had to "honour" your mother when he committed infidelity. If you want to get petty (and by petty, I mean God level pettiness), you could take some pretty photos of your Elise and put them on a Facebook post that announces that your mum told you that if she couldn't complete her LOVE, she wanted one of her children to do it for her and so you are proud and happy to introduce baby Elise! The comments will be nuclear, and your dad and stepmother won't be happy, but they don't own a name and they don't get to commit adultery and insult your mother's memory without consequences.
Story 1: NTA. It’s so disrespectful! If I just gave birth and my family was pulling this crap I’d yell everyone’s head off and start calling those 2 some new names! Here’s a hint, it rhymes with “Man roe” and “Smut”.
There's also "Lothario", "Jezebel", "Rakehell", "Tom Cat","Floo-Zee", I could go all day but this would turn into a TLDR :P Either way, definitely in agreement that OP is NTA and it cheeses me something fierce that they're siding with her cheating horndog of a dad [ *and would be just as angry if the roles were flipped, cheating is no bueno no matter who does it.* ]
I'd call the ex-mistress a cu*t, but that implies depth and warmth! Hope she understands that *1)* she married a cheater, and *2)* when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy~
Since when is alcohol healthy? Cocktails are chock full of sugar, and alcohol itself has never been known to be a healthy drink. This aunt is bonkers! 😂
They all knew about the father's infidelity and supported it and are defending him which is probably another reason why she didn't leave him They tried to swoop in and steal a name and the wife's spot... She has been doing it for years and it destroyed their mother's marriage 🤢 And the dad still wants to push more now that she's gone... he can't have both so guess who's mommy now!!!
Yeah, imagine being such a boring person, that you can only support a family/friend during their wedding if you are so hammerd you won't remember it the next day.
The Opie could tell The Aunt that they'll be serving water at the church, too, and it will be turned into wine for the reception. Everyone will then be happy.
Wedding Reception Story: she didn’t say she WOULD be responsible for the guest’s drunken choices but that they would FEEL that way! Imagine loading your family up on booze to the point that they can’t remember half of your reception and then someone gets into a bad wreck! I grew up seeing drunk and alcoholic adults at parties. They’re often loud, rude, obnoxious, and generally spoil the fun for everyone else. I even asked my mom NOT to include alcohol AT MY 16TH BIRTHDAY PARTY and she said that it “wasn’t a real party without alcohol for the adults.” Now, back then, I lived in a rural area where the roads were all in forested, dirt back roads that were barely maintained and full of sharp twists and turns. A drunk person could EASILY get into a bad, single vehicle wreck. And the main roads are rare.y empty, so there is just as much chances as a drunk person getting into a MULTI VEHICLE WRECK. And in some places, bars CAN get into BIG trouble for serving people too much alcohol if they person gets into a wreck because they were drunk. I know that because my mom worked at a bar and she was told to stop serving people alcohol if they became obviously intoxicated- they even had a SIGN in the bar saying they reserved that right- and that she needed to try to persuade them to call a friend or family member to pick them up- small, rural town with no cab service- when they left. I don’t know if OP and the fiancée could get into trouble if they served alcohol and something happened because someone was drunk, but why chance it’s ON YOUR WEDDING DAY? And who wants to live with the guilt of serving someone too much alcohol and they get into a wreck where someone is either seriously injured or worse?! People have a right to have dry weddings. And while others have a right to not come for any reason, if their reason is as petty as “there won’t be any alcohol,” then maybe they should have their invite taken away and given to someone who will actually support the marrying couple. And OP is right. If you NEED alcohol of any kind to make a party “fun” then you really ARE the one with the problem!
On top of that, if OP is having a wedding at a venue then she and her husband WILL BE responsible for anything that happens there including any damages to the venue.
Dry wedding: NTA. I swear, people who think no alcohol = no fun are some of the most boring people. Probably also some of the most miserable and unimaginative.
The dry wedding story. I don't know if it's here in the USA or some other country. But here in the USA. The restaurants, bars, hosts & hostesses *HAVE* legally been held accountable for the actions of guests who have drunk too much und drove afterwards.
damage to the venue, disruption of the peace, fighting, peeing everywhere, if you know your family is gonna do those things if they are sloshed then it's better not to give them anything.
Story 3: NTA. Dry weddings may not be popular but it’s not like drinking is the only reason people go. She DOES have a problem if she argues and complains this much over no alcohol.
I agree with you, BUT the bride should have said it was a dry wedding in the invites. For me weddings started to be fun after i was able to drink, before that I would spend half of the time reading a book in my parents car, because lets be honest after a couple of hours weddings become boring
@@19Levsko19They haven't gotten to the invites yet. OP and her fiance were discussing the details when Mom and Aunt walked in. That's when the aunt found out about the wedding being alcohol free. No invites were sent out because they were barrly in the venue-choosing stage of the planning
Story 3: it's sad that some adults need to be drunk to have a good time. Sorry. But if I ever marry there won't be alcohol. I, personally, have some trauma with it. Your wedding, your rules.
Agreed the YTA comments are jarring, some people are in recovery, have medical conditions where alcohol can't be consumed [diabetes, kidney issues, etc.] or don't drink for cultural reasons. It's OP and her bride to be's wedding so they should be allowed to decide if booze is a no go or not. There's still options like punch, tea, water, etc. heck, get some flavored syrups and club soda & they could do italian sodas & egg creams [the former being refreshing and absolutely delicious]
Story 2: NTA. All you did was tell your friend about the system that works for you. I’d imagine the most awkward thing about that dinner was both parties realizing how kept he is.
Yeah... But the only problem is it is stealing. Stuff like that should be in a prenup. If it's not, his money is hers, and vice versa. So if she keeps their money from him, that is not good. A better way is to budget. Get a shared account, and it pays x fun money to both every month. How you spend it -- fine.
Here are some reasons you should have a dry wedding 1. If drunk relatives damage your venue and you supplied the alcohol, you might be held liable 2. If drunk relatives become aggressive, your reseption might be ruined 3. You or your partner have a history with drunks in the form of not-so-good parents or with alcohol itself 4. If people only come to your wedding to drink on your dime, they are better off not coming at all. Yes, you aren't the sun, but if you have to bribe people with alcohol to attend, they might not consider you that important. 5. On that note, if your family can only tolerate each other while drinking and can't just talk and dance with each other, you also need to make some cuts Accommodating your guests is good, but accommodation is free childcare, food restrictions, alternative diet options, accommodation for disabled people. OP should see how many of their guests are just looking to party and not celebrate them. Then see needs to see if any of the remaining are like to sneak in alcohol. Both groups of people need to be uninvited.
1. nta. god, this one honestly made me tear up a little bit. op’s mom sounds like a wonderful and sweet mother and person. i’m so glad that op was able to honor their mother’s wishes like that. dad and his girlfriend can f**k off. 2. nta, amy asked op about her and her husband’s financial situation. op answered, and it was helpful for amy in her own situation. 3. nta!! those drinks sound really yummy, all of them. people can be very strange and unhealthy about alcohol sometimes. and also, major eye roll at op’s aunt’s comment about teh church. if op’s aunt has a genuine alcohol problem, then i wish her recovery and all teh best. if not, then she’s being obnoxious. 4. nta, child free weddings can be very inconvenient for guests. people of course have teh right to have them, but they can’t then get all p*ssy when people can’t attend because babysitting can’t be found. i wouldn’t leave meh kid with sil either, yikesss!! 5. nta, at all!!!
OP is the AH for worrying about what her father's mistress has to say. Here's a crazy idea, you're an adult, name your child what you want. Is the guy in the picture? I wonder how he feels about this BS.
Story 1: I would go for the low blow “stepmom, just remember, if he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you. Do you REALLY want the legacy of the marriage YOU AND HIM destroyed weighing on your child when you inevitably find out he’s cheating and- hopefully- leave his sorry @$$? How will you explain your child’s name to them then? ‘Oh, your daddy and I hated a dead woman so much, we just HAD ruin her legacy by giving you a name I actually don’t like. That’s why I started calling you a different name when daddy and I divorced.’ Even if you stay together, how do you think that will make the child feel about themselves AND their relationship with us older half siblings? You are being a selfish and cruel stepmother AND a selfish and cruel mother. Grow up.” And if she knew the heather was cheating, I would also tell him every chance I got “Make sure you get that baby DNA tested before you sign anything, since she obviously doesn’t give two fricks about cheating. Wouldn’t want to be stuck paying child support for a child that isn’t yours, now would you? But then, you’re oldest kids already see you as a deadbeat loser and your current actions make it obvious that you haven’t changed since mom died. Maybe she should do an Ancetry 23-And-Me test on you and the baby too, to make sure you aren’t hiding any children and mistresses from her.” And the obvious of “shut your trap or you will never be a grandfather to the REAL E baby.”
Story 4: NTA. “I don’t want some stranger to watch our kid, at least I KNOW how neglectful my Sister is”. Hun, you offered reasonable solutions to a very obvious problem and he is pouting. Please tell me there is a good reason your still married to him.
last time they were lucky she was left with the neighbors but she might just decide to leave her in her crib with a bottle when she leaves this time if she cannot dump her somewhere.
Story 3. I'd be responding to the aunt's post saying perhaps she should seek help for her drinking problem if she can't go one evening without alcohol and that everyone else complaining on her side can stay home as well cause who wants belligerent alcoholics to ruin the day? Nta btw.
Alcohol is a lot worse that half the things Opie wants at her wedding, including how sweet it is, yes soda can be unhealthy if you have it every single day and sweetie might be sugary, but that’s the point of it. It’s a wedding, not a diet convention.
S2 they can't handle a day without being blackout drunk at every occasion... Reminding me of Roger with a massive bottle of wine... *I Wouldn't Go To A Wedding Sober Because I Can't Stop Drinking Nor Control Myself When I Do* is exactly what those comments at the end said 🤷♂️ And then wonder why the wedding was dry when everyone is trying to get their alcohol fix to feel good about a wedding
It's clear that there are other problems with the husband. I mean, why is he calling off going to the wedding for both of them? Why can't he stay home with the kid. Or vice versa. Plus, how in the world could he see his sister as more trustworthy than a babysitter considering what she did? OP really needs to think about if the rest of their marriage is healthy. Doesn't sound like it.
Sugar vs Alcohol: This has to be the only time I've ever heard anyone complain about SUGAR being too bad for you but alcohol is the better choice. I'm pretty sure no police officer is going to pull you over for driving with a sweet tooth.
Last story step mom can... 🕶️ *Dye* mad about the OP coloring their hair silver. Silver is very popular right now and has been a fun flip having younger folk going through the trouble of getting their hair grey while older women are letting their natural grey shine. Also, depending on how much lifting and toning the OP had to do to go silver, they can't dye their hair again for a while anyway. Bleaching and toning is really hard on hair, they need to let their hair rest before trying to mess with it more if they don't want to go bald in a hurry.
Last story: "My dad called me stubborn". As if that's a bad thing when you're right. What he's really saying is, "You're being stubborn for not doing the wrong thing just to make my life easier". Stick to your guns kid! 🤠 YeeeHaaaa!!!!
I would just announce 'okay if the people who don't wanna come if there is no booze please put their names on this list then we know who not to invite, it will certainly lighten the costs for us so thank you in advance' lol
You can't go to a party or a wedding or something of that nature without consuming alcohol you may need to look into the "relationship" you have with alcohol
I've never been a drinker, so people needing alcohol to have a good time baffles me. Just chat with people, catch up or mingle with the new family. Dance when music comes on, play some games. Share stories. I mean I get that alcohol can add to the festive feeling, but it should only be a perk and not a requirement to having fun.
This! I am not a drinker, but I don't begrudge others from drinking responsibly. Considering that the aunt lives over an hour a way and it doesn't sound like she wants a single glass of wine or two, she doesn't sound like a safe bet. I can see why OP is concerned about the family members if they are like her. I mean, she can't go a few hours without?
@@GMWILD87 XD I'm shy, so I mostly sway around the edges of the floor. I was also getting my shy niece to sway with me a bit, last wedding I was at. Sometimes my family drags me out for the group stuff and I feel a bit bolder about it, but mostly I feel like my dancing is just vertical flailing XD
Story 5: NTA, and your dad knows this, "Do it to keep the piece" is almost always code for "Your, in the right, but I am to lazy (or to much a coward) to fight for you and what is right."
My hair went mostly gray by the time I was about 22 and I’m 27 now. I don’t care that people dye their hair gray, it can look really good! Stepmom is insecure and putting the burden of that on OP.
It's funny that the step mom is saying no for that reason meanwhile I'm going no because I'm concerned if they need to bleach their hair first, if it works with their complexion and style. If they have any previous dye in their hair that has not grown out yet. Their hair to do with as they please just hoping it's not something damaging.
@@LadyBern no yeah definitely. If it was damaging and they were worried about OP then sure, all the parents should sit and talk with OP about it. Sucks that stepmom didn’t act out of genuine concern though.
"She said I called her a drunk for being healthy." Um no. With the exception of wine, which was commonly used way back when instead of water because drinking water wasn't recommended, alcohol isn't really any healthier than tea of any kind. Heck, a sugary soda isn't gonna immediately make her unhealthy if she has one on a special occasion once and if she's so concerned about being healthy, water is an option. OP has every right to not want alcohol at her wedding (especially if it's also not child free, which I don't remember if it is or not) and OP is right anyway. If auntie dearest can't go one night without alcohol, or can't have fun without alcohol, she might want to talk to someone about her issues Edit because of the YTA commenter. Unless I'm missing something, OP is hosting and paying for the event space where she is getting married. So it is very much going to be her responsibility if adults get drunk and, say, break something, while at her event. She does not want alcohol at her event, and she's not the idiot for not wanting alcohol there. If some guests cannot come because they can't go without for one event, then that's a price OP is willing to pay. And no, I don't care that this one commenter wouldn't go to a dry wedding. Good for this person. But it doesn't make someone else the idiot just because you wouldn't go. Lots of people want child free weddings. Wanting your wedding to be a certain way doesn't make you the idiot.
Plus, diet soda and sparkling, flavored water are things. If someone can't handle going without alcohol, they can stay home, pre party or bring a flask.
The whole "people drank alcohol instead of water" thing is a myth. Water was actually the most common drink in the medieval period, and even the Greeks and Romans drank water a lot.
Pfft, I started getting grey/silver hairs in my 20's (I'm 32 now) and I don't have a problem with it. I think it's cool, plus what can I do about it? It is what it is. My mom got these cool patches of white near her temples when she was in her 40's and she thought they were ugly, until I told her they were cool. Changed her opinion after that. Silver hair is super popular in high fantasy and anime, the stepmom should be happy she's coming by it naturally and not having to resort to wigs or dyes. xD
The yta comment on the dry wedding may not be aware that in some places that the bride and groom can be fined for any death or dui caused by drinking alcohol so if they don’t want the legal responsibility
I'm sure they're aware-they just don't care. They're triggered by the thought of 'no alcohol', even though they're total strangers to the people in the story and wouldn't even be there anyway
I couldn't stop laughing at how family just drops off child to the neighbours. How is this even a thought in your brain? It is so weird I cannot have empathy as have no idea why you would think it is alright.
S3 NTA remind her it's your wedding one two alcohol isn't good for diabetics too. Don't apologize, looks like the drunk will not be coming. Aunt is an alcohol. Good on you for standing your ground. This is no different the a child free wedding.if people don't like it don't come.
You can have a party without alcohol. It is possible lots of people do it seriously one meal one event and you can’t live without alcohol you have an issue you might be an alcoholic and it’s Opie’s wedding not hers she needs to respect the bride and groom and their decisions, even if she’s not on board with them.
S2 NTA tell her to separate their finances, I bet once he figures out he can't afford Uber eats anymore. But if he wants to make it about him and you, burn his but. He mad he's lost his meal ticket.
S1 NTA and I am baffled family of OP attacks new mother. I mean - seriously?! She carried on the dream of her mom. Dad lost the priviledge to do it when cheating. And his audacity to force it with his mistress! I agree with spicy comment that he should name the baby R name and make his acronyme LOVE-R😂
Final Story: NTA. It not disrespectful, it’s triggering. She is insecure about the fact that she is graying and wants to put that emotional responsibility onto you.
My mom did the same thing to me back in the 90s. I wanted to dye it a silvery grey..I thought it looked pretty. My mom flipped out like I’ve never seen honestly. So I went with purple. I’m in my 40s now…my hair is silver and looks great 😂
I was so happy when my hair turned silver. No more mousy, ash blond! And these young folks who are hopping on the silver bandwagon, more power to them! 🧓
Step-mom needs to understand that young people coloring their hair grey makes it harder to guess how old you are, so it's a good thing. Not to mention, that as a 60-something female, 40-something is not even close to being old. That woman has some rude shocks ahead of her! LOL
Story 1: NTA and op should lean into the petty, make one nice long Facebook post tagging the whole family and calling them all the fuck out, then blocking them all. Her brother included. Story 2: NTA. Amy needs to upgrade that separate finances to DIVORCE. Story 3: NTA. It sounds like OP’s family is a bunch of alcoholics. It’s not killing them to not drink. And also, they don’t HAVE TO go to the reception. Story 4: NTA. A trusted family member abandoned OP’s child. Op needs to force husband’s hand though because he doesn’t get to just shut everything down all because op rightfully doesn’t trust his sister with their child. And a babysitter usually is pretty responsible. Story 5: NTA. Op doesn’t need to seek advice. They need to pull the biomom trigger on dad and see if he wants to have the WORSE outcome of a pissed off ex wife and child who wants nothing to do with him.
Op is an idiot for overlooking the stupidity of her husband. The fact that he forgave his sister shows that he's more concerned with SIL feelings than the wellbeing of his son.
Dry wedding….. All my Family weddings were dry! Those were the best weddings as said by the staff at every venue! Those couples are all Still very happily married ❤ 22 yrs to 55 years and inbetween!
Story 3: NTA if she’s so Concerned about health then why does she want alcohol, it’s just as unhealthy. Also there’s a lot of reasons to have alcohol free weddings
Supposedly a glass of red wine a day is in some way healthy. Somehow I doubt aunt is confining herself to just one daily glass of wine. That she can't have a good time without alcohol says much more about her than OP.
Story 2: I made the mistake of NOT maintaining separate finances when I made the mistake of marrying a fiscally irresponsible man. I would never join finances ever again.
Dry wedding: I do not understand people who freak the hell out because alcohol won’t be present. That 100% says more about the complainers than it says about the hosts. Believe it or not, it is entirely possible to have a good time without drinking.
Dry wedding story: fun fact, in the early 20th century, advertisements promoting beer as a "good food alternative" were published in newspapers nationwide, and much like the cigarette ads mid century, physicians galore touted the benefits of drinking beer. Source: first state job was helping microfilm newspapers from the 18th century thru the mid 1990s. Edited to add: The YTA comment about a dry wedding being a bad thing. It sounds like OP and fiancee are worried about being sued for negligence if a drunk guest does serious damage after leaving the reception.
Dry wedding story: everyone who has an issue that no alcohol will be present are welcome to not come... Just make sure you say "do are you rsvping, Not coming?" and if they aren't invited then don't even reply. Not worth the time lol
So hubby wants sis to watch kiddo because he doesn't want a stranger to? But that's exactly what happened last time she did. She'll do it again and this time it won't be anyone you know and you'll be three hours away. He's completely mental to put your child at risk with such an unreliable moron. Why are you with someone who sees nothing wrong with risking your child's life? I hope you have a solid and legal plan in place if anything happens to you and your husband. Make sure she specifically doesn't get custody of your child.
Story #1 NTA. Stories like this are why, if one of my parents have an affair, I'd going no-contact with them as soon as possible. Anyone who thinks such a reaction is "too extreme" doesn't understand the horrible pain such an act causes or simply doesn't care. If your relationship begins as an affair then there's no way for it to ever become legitimate. You can't be with that person in any way, shape, or form and still claim to be sorry or to have changed. Story #2 NTA. All OP did was tell her friend that there were other ways to manage money in a relationship. Friend's husband is just sulking like a spoiled child because he can't leech off his wife anymore. Story #3 NTA. It's OP's wedding, she's allowed to have it dry. Anyone who votes yta or esh should be assumed to be an alcoholic. "I'd leave the reception early because I can't bare to go 24 hours without alcohol". Story #4 NTA. OP has a husband problem, not a friend problem. As for why OP can't go to the wedding alone, I bet it's because OP is afraid he'll leave to do something else and have SIL watch the baby anyway to prove a point. Story #5 NTA. Stepmom tried to make a power-play, and father isn't standing up for OP because he values access to sex over his own child. I think OP should live with their mom full-time anyway, and tell father it's because he chose the wrong side.
Alcohol at the wedding story: tell her cristians aren't allowed to drink alcohol. She is so concerned about not being in church, why she isn't concerned that she is committing a sin by drinking alcohol?
The E Name- You need to impress upon your Stepmother that you will BLAST THE FAMILY SOCIAL MEDIA WITH THE STORY OF WHO CAME UP WITH THE CONCEPT OF THE NAMES. AND DOES SHE REALLY WANT TO START HAVING PEOPLE CALL HER BY YOUR MOTHER'S NAME. Then ask her, why doesn't she start her OWN family name traditions, and have four of five kids. Your father would LOVE that.
I’d say “Oh you don’t like me stealing the baby name that you stole from me in the first place? That’s ok. I’m just following your example. You steal things-men, relationships, other people’s lives and dreams, baby names from the woman you stole the man from etc. GREAT example. I’m taking notes from your behavior. Feels great doesn’t it? To have someone outplay YOU for once? Good luck keeping that cheating man from doing the same thing to you when he tires of you. The grass is always greener on the other side. And honey-you ain’t staying’ green for long.” 😂. But then again I’m one of those people sick and dam- tired of people acting badly and leaning into their worst impulses. I’ve got two parents like that. Around young teen age I started warning my dad’s new girlfriends that he would cheat on them if they were nice decent girls. And that the man only had one true love in his life and it was himself, always. He would always look out for number one-HIM. Some didn’t listen and eventually they found out the hard way. But they can’t say that they weren’t warned. And as for my mom, well-her taste in men was trash. If there was some stupid mean abusive drunken imbecile in the vicinity-she was completely attracted to him. And her reputation preceded her-so they got what they had coming to them in my opinion. And half of them were cheaters too, so big deal.
Silver hair story: OP is entitled. They are entitled to bodily autonomy. They are entitled to make the decisions about their body as they see fit. As for dying hair silver "making fun of old people"....no. it let's younger people feel like they have come trop over themselves as well as give off the impression of looking older and beautiful. At the same time, it gives older people with naturally silvering hair the opportunity to feel young and in style.
I have dyed grey hair. I get the most compliments off the older generation that have naturally grey hair. They tend to joke that they didn't pay for theirs but they like mine more
The dry wedding story; NTA cause they would be held responsible if someone broke something. Yes, there is event insurance you can buy, but still not many have that type of money to buy that. And I work for progressive we offer wedding event insurance.
Re: The Dry Wedding story: According to Noted Businessman Tony Stark, "If you need alcohol to have a good time ANYWHERE, then you have a drinking problem." And when Tony Stark says you have a drinking problem...😅
Anyone else notice for #1 op was pregger first, announced it and then affair partner suddenly knocked up around the same time. Dad is such a sleeze and what’s with her family? Even the siblings don’t have her back. Poor thing
"what’s with her family?"
OP's siblings were raised by her sleazebag father. He imparted his (lack of) values onto them.
@@jamestown8398especially the brother, apparently
@@nancyomalley6286 maybe the brother is already brainwashed by the dad and the family that cheating is totally fine because it sound none of them care about he fact that he cheated
Story one: NTA, you lose all rights to something like that when you CHEAT period
I cant believe almost her whole family is attacking her and calling her names when she just gave birth. How is anyone okay with this. SMH.
@@KCohere33just shows that they should be cut off.
Well yeah there the side that cheats. Of course they are gonna support him it's the only way they can do it themselves.
And how he tries to recruit his side piece to get OP to agree like she doesn’t see her as the garden implement that she is
For real. Can't complete the family LOVE when you broke than love lol
Anyone who can’t handle a couple hours without booze are pathetic. Just have your wedding your way. Focus on your love and joy, any friends and family who can’t on board can fudge right off. Enjoy a beautiful day. Your aunt sounds horrid, I’d be thrilled she won’t go.
Yea I don’t get it, and I do like a bit of weekend drinking. But it’s an event ; I don’t see why no alcohol is such a deal breaker for these people. They’re more of alcoholics than they let on
My diabetic aunt avoids alcohol because of the sugar.
The person saying they said OP has the right to have a dry wedding after insulting and belittling the choice is stupid.
If someone told me they can’t come to my event because there won’t be alcohol, I would be exchanging their invitation with a list of local AA groups.
Lol! "Soda is too unhealthy, you should serve cocktails instead!" Is probably the funniest reason I've heard from these stories of relatives/ friends trying to pressure the couple getting married to have booze at the reception.
If anyone’s going to pass down that honor, it should be kept in the family not done by the mistress
The wife must be rolling over in her grave.
Story 1: The mistress carrying on the late wife's baby name wish. That's absolutely disgusting.
Story 2: What an immature little man. Lol
1 sounds like dads family seems to have no problem with the cheating, makes you wonder how many of them have kids with affair partners
I was mad about the Title! They made it seem like OP made the Post, but it was just a Comment! I wanted the Kick Back, because dad & stepmom deserved to be called out! OP's siblings need to get on the same page...
Story 1 was pouring with hypocrisy and made me mad for the OP because the fact that his side of the family is calling OP petty but not the fact that her dad cheated on his wife and is basically trying to continue her legacy with the woman he broke up his family with?!
I'm soo done. OP isn't even close of being an AH. Her family is, though. Also, why is the brother ok with this?
I would be pissed at the dad and his mistress for doing this, knowing they broke up a family.
The dry wedding story: NTA. If you want a dry wedding, you have dry wedding. I was a bit confused about why OP was so adamant about it but when we got some back story on her family and their relationship with drinking, I got it. The soda unhealthy, booze healthy thing is laughable. I bet she’s having more than a glass of wine daily.
Alcohol has more sugar than most sodas. Lol. How is that healthy?
@@annie4843its "healthy" because they think it to justify alcoholism
Exactly!
I’d bet good money I’ll be a similar situation to OP once I get married lol. My partner and I already agreed that we’d either have alcohol or kids, but not both. Between him not drinking, alcoholism running rampant in my family, and us actually liking my baby cousins, I’m sure there’ll be a few butthurt relatives when they find out we’re having a dry wedding
Also along with paying for the alcohol, Op would need to get a permit, provided the place even allows alcohol on the premises. Some places also require a fee for extra security if alcohol is served. These are fees I’m sure aunt wasn’t going to pay for.
Coloring your hair silver is the opposite of making fun of older people. It's saying, "Silver hair is beautiful and I love the way it looks so much I want it for myself." If it's doing anything, It's redefining beauty standards that usually enforce the idea that women can't be perceived as beautiful once they're passed a certain age.
The drinking at the wedding story. If you can’t spend one day without drinking you have issues.
We had an alcoholic free wedding, it was fantastic.
I agree with you
If you can’t handle one day without an alcohol party then, they are the ones with issues. And that yta, He’s probably lying about not drinking
For my 16TH birthday party, I asked my mom not to serve alcohol. Her response was “of course I’m serving alcohol! Us adults have to have fun too!” Most of the guests WERE adults and some of them I didn’t even know because my mom invited all of her friends. Only one person there was someone I actually invited. I think that was the party where, not even an hour in, my stepfather was so drunk that he asked my mom “who’s the hot girl bouncing on the trampoline?” The “hot girl” was my sister’s friend… who was a middle schooler…
It's not even the entire day but a few hours. I have been to a dry wedding and a few dry birthday parties in the past. It's no big deal. I also like to have a few drinks at a reception or party but if the host says it's a dry event I keep my mouth shut or don't attend. It's a waste of time and energy complaining about no booze at a party I am not hosting.
the aunt sounds like how my aunts are, every 'family dinner' 2 or more bottles of wine were gone in the time i had one soda. I stopped going because i was done paying for their booze fest.
72 here. I have never gone to a wedding where the reception was NOT alcohol free. And, everyone had a wonderful time and enjoyed themselves.
The dry wedding story: NTA. ANYONE that claims that a party (any kind of party or event really) isn't a party without beer (or other kinds of alcohol) has a problem (most likely).
The way I see it, partially because my dad passed due to liver failure at 50-51, a dry party is a "party to tell your liver you love and appreciate it taking care of you"-party
Story 1 - NTA. Your father lost any right he might have had to "honour" your mother when he committed infidelity. If you want to get petty (and by petty, I mean God level pettiness), you could take some pretty photos of your Elise and put them on a Facebook post that announces that your mum told you that if she couldn't complete her LOVE, she wanted one of her children to do it for her and so you are proud and happy to introduce baby Elise! The comments will be nuclear, and your dad and stepmother won't be happy, but they don't own a name and they don't get to commit adultery and insult your mother's memory without consequences.
@Wei Luo Or MB. Short for Mistresses Bastard.
Story 1: NTA. It’s so disrespectful! If I just gave birth and my family was pulling this crap I’d yell everyone’s head off and start calling those 2 some new names! Here’s a hint, it rhymes with “Man roe” and “Smut”.
There's also "Lothario", "Jezebel", "Rakehell", "Tom Cat","Floo-Zee", I could go all day but this would turn into a TLDR :P Either way, definitely in agreement that OP is NTA and it cheeses me something fierce that they're siding with her cheating horndog of a dad [ *and would be just as angry if the roles were flipped, cheating is no bueno no matter who does it.* ]
I'd call the ex-mistress a cu*t, but that implies depth and warmth! Hope she understands that *1)* she married a cheater, and *2)* when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy~
Since when is alcohol healthy? Cocktails are chock full of sugar, and alcohol itself has never been known to be a healthy drink. This aunt is bonkers! 😂
I bet aunt also thinks wine is vegan
@@lorilancaster5917 LOL, I bet she does!
Alcohol has sugar as well as juices, The fact that someone saying alcohol is healthy is idiotic
Not to mention alcohol is a carcinogen 💁♀️
They all knew about the father's infidelity and supported it and are defending him which is probably another reason why she didn't leave him
They tried to swoop in and steal a name and the wife's spot... She has been doing it for years and it destroyed their mother's marriage 🤢 And the dad still wants to push more now that she's gone... he can't have both so guess who's mommy now!!!
The new wife should just call her kid Rhonda.
Its sad that alcoholism is so normal that people demand it being part of a wedding
Yeah, imagine being such a boring person, that you can only support a family/friend during their wedding if you are so hammerd you won't remember it the next day.
Humanity seems doomed, if so many people really think, that they can't have fun without a drug in their system (alcohol in this case)🙈
Or at the very least more entitled everyday
St. 1. I would have did it too. And your father is sick. Your mother would have never wanted that. Its like a final middle finger to her.
The Opie could tell The Aunt that they'll be serving water at the church, too, and it will be turned into wine for the reception.
Everyone will then be happy.
Wedding Reception Story: she didn’t say she WOULD be responsible for the guest’s drunken choices but that they would FEEL that way! Imagine loading your family up on booze to the point that they can’t remember half of your reception and then someone gets into a bad wreck! I grew up seeing drunk and alcoholic adults at parties. They’re often loud, rude, obnoxious, and generally spoil the fun for everyone else. I even asked my mom NOT to include alcohol AT MY 16TH BIRTHDAY PARTY and she said that it “wasn’t a real party without alcohol for the adults.” Now, back then, I lived in a rural area where the roads were all in forested, dirt back roads that were barely maintained and full of sharp twists and turns. A drunk person could EASILY get into a bad, single vehicle wreck. And the main roads are rare.y empty, so there is just as much chances as a drunk person getting into a MULTI VEHICLE WRECK. And in some places, bars CAN get into BIG trouble for serving people too much alcohol if they person gets into a wreck because they were drunk. I know that because my mom worked at a bar and she was told to stop serving people alcohol if they became obviously intoxicated- they even had a SIGN in the bar saying they reserved that right- and that she needed to try to persuade them to call a friend or family member to pick them up- small, rural town with no cab service- when they left. I don’t know if OP and the fiancée could get into trouble if they served alcohol and something happened because someone was drunk, but why chance it’s ON YOUR WEDDING DAY? And who wants to live with the guilt of serving someone too much alcohol and they get into a wreck where someone is either seriously injured or worse?! People have a right to have dry weddings. And while others have a right to not come for any reason, if their reason is as petty as “there won’t be any alcohol,” then maybe they should have their invite taken away and given to someone who will actually support the marrying couple. And OP is right. If you NEED alcohol of any kind to make a party “fun” then you really ARE the one with the problem!
On top of that, if OP is having a wedding at a venue then she and her husband WILL BE responsible for anything that happens there including any damages to the venue.
Alcohol is a sin in cristianaty anyway
Dry wedding: NTA. I swear, people who think no alcohol = no fun are some of the most boring people. Probably also some of the most miserable and unimaginative.
I rarely drink but i do drink a couple of drinks at weddings. It's boring.
The dry wedding story. I don't know if it's here in the USA or some other country. But here in the USA. The restaurants, bars, hosts & hostesses *HAVE* legally been held accountable for the actions of guests who have drunk too much und drove afterwards.
damage to the venue, disruption of the peace, fighting, peeing everywhere, if you know your family is gonna do those things if they are sloshed then it's better not to give them anything.
@@velvety2006 exactly, und I am pretty sure that the person who rented the venue will be responsible for paying for the damages.
Story 3: NTA. Dry weddings may not be popular but it’s not like drinking is the only reason people go. She DOES have a problem if she argues and complains this much over no alcohol.
I agree with you, BUT the bride should have said it was a dry wedding in the invites. For me weddings started to be fun after i was able to drink, before that I would spend half of the time reading a book in my parents car, because lets be honest after a couple of hours weddings become boring
Yeah, I think in this case, it's a financial burden, and the family sounds like a bunch of boozers.
Edit: I agree with you 100 percent.
People may not go for the booze, some do I am sure, but the booze makes it more tolerable.
@@19Levsko19They haven't gotten to the invites yet. OP and her fiance were discussing the details when Mom and Aunt walked in. That's when the aunt found out about the wedding being alcohol free. No invites were sent out because they were barrly in the venue-choosing stage of the planning
@@nancyomalley6286 Oh, I missed that part. Than OP is definitely not AH
I purposely had my wedding at noon so no alcohol wouldn't be strange. I just didn't want the drama of my alcoholic mother acting out.
Story 3: it's sad that some adults need to be drunk to have a good time.
Sorry. But if I ever marry there won't be alcohol. I, personally, have some trauma with it.
Your wedding, your rules.
Agreed the YTA comments are jarring, some people are in recovery, have medical conditions where alcohol can't be consumed [diabetes, kidney issues, etc.] or don't drink for cultural reasons. It's OP and her bride to be's wedding so they should be allowed to decide if booze is a no go or not. There's still options like punch, tea, water, etc. heck, get some flavored syrups and club soda & they could do italian sodas & egg creams [the former being refreshing and absolutely delicious]
Likewise here.
Story 2: NTA. All you did was tell your friend about the system that works for you. I’d imagine the most awkward thing about that dinner was both parties realizing how kept he is.
Yeah... But the only problem is it is stealing. Stuff like that should be in a prenup. If it's not, his money is hers, and vice versa. So if she keeps their money from him, that is not good.
A better way is to budget. Get a shared account, and it pays x fun money to both every month. How you spend it -- fine.
@@cptfwiffo I Think that Ann's husband is the TYPE TO drain the JOINT ACCOUNT, to Keep HAVING HIS DOOR DASH, instead of take a Lunch to work.
First story … had something similar, father informed that he would name his new child after mother who had passed on … absolutely crazy
Did the mother of that child know?
@@Sandyyyyyyyyyy no she didnt
@@mazcat2048 oof
I don't see any reason for the first OP to still be in contact with the whole dad side of the family
Here are some reasons you should have a dry wedding
1. If drunk relatives damage your venue and you supplied the alcohol, you might be held liable
2. If drunk relatives become aggressive, your reseption might be ruined
3. You or your partner have a history with drunks in the form of not-so-good parents or with alcohol itself
4. If people only come to your wedding to drink on your dime, they are better off not coming at all. Yes, you aren't the sun, but if you have to bribe people with alcohol to attend, they might not consider you that important.
5. On that note, if your family can only tolerate each other while drinking and can't just talk and dance with each other, you also need to make some cuts
Accommodating your guests is good, but accommodation is free childcare, food restrictions, alternative diet options, accommodation for disabled people.
OP should see how many of their guests are just looking to party and not celebrate them. Then see needs to see if any of the remaining are like to sneak in alcohol. Both groups of people need to be uninvited.
i have a couple of aunts who certainly would only come for the free booze. as far as i can see it, it means a smaller catering bill lol
I always find it strange that people can't have fun w/o alcohol
All those drunken idiot who think they are soooo funny ...
1. nta. god, this one honestly made me tear up a little bit. op’s mom sounds like a wonderful and sweet mother and person. i’m so glad that op was able to honor their mother’s wishes like that. dad and his girlfriend can f**k off.
2. nta, amy asked op about her and her husband’s financial situation. op answered, and it was helpful for amy in her own situation.
3. nta!! those drinks sound really yummy, all of them. people can be very strange and unhealthy about alcohol sometimes. and also, major eye roll at op’s aunt’s comment about teh church. if op’s aunt has a genuine alcohol problem, then i wish her recovery and all teh best. if not, then she’s being obnoxious.
4. nta, child free weddings can be very inconvenient for guests. people of course have teh right to have them, but they can’t then get all p*ssy when people can’t attend because babysitting can’t be found. i wouldn’t leave meh kid with sil either, yikesss!!
5. nta, at all!!!
2
1.5?
ahaha
OP is the AH for worrying about what her father's mistress has to say. Here's a crazy idea, you're an adult, name your child what you want. Is the guy in the picture? I wonder how he feels about this BS.
@@johnbradbury8610 see what you’re saying, but op is very much being demonized and blamed by their family, so ofc they feel bad
Story 1: I would go for the low blow “stepmom, just remember, if he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you. Do you REALLY want the legacy of the marriage YOU AND HIM destroyed weighing on your child when you inevitably find out he’s cheating and- hopefully- leave his sorry @$$? How will you explain your child’s name to them then? ‘Oh, your daddy and I hated a dead woman so much, we just HAD ruin her legacy by giving you a name I actually don’t like. That’s why I started calling you a different name when daddy and I divorced.’ Even if you stay together, how do you think that will make the child feel about themselves AND their relationship with us older half siblings? You are being a selfish and cruel stepmother AND a selfish and cruel mother. Grow up.” And if she knew the heather was cheating, I would also tell him every chance I got “Make sure you get that baby DNA tested before you sign anything, since she obviously doesn’t give two fricks about cheating. Wouldn’t want to be stuck paying child support for a child that isn’t yours, now would you? But then, you’re oldest kids already see you as a deadbeat loser and your current actions make it obvious that you haven’t changed since mom died. Maybe she should do an Ancetry 23-And-Me test on you and the baby too, to make sure you aren’t hiding any children and mistresses from her.” And the obvious of “shut your trap or you will never be a grandfather to the REAL E baby.”
Story 4: NTA. “I don’t want some stranger to watch our kid, at least I KNOW how neglectful my Sister is”. Hun, you offered reasonable solutions to a very obvious problem and he is pouting. Please tell me there is a good reason your still married to him.
last time they were lucky she was left with the neighbors but she might just decide to leave her in her crib with a bottle when she leaves this time if she cannot dump her somewhere.
Story 3. I'd be responding to the aunt's post saying perhaps she should seek help for her drinking problem if she can't go one evening without alcohol and that everyone else complaining on her side can stay home as well cause who wants belligerent alcoholics to ruin the day? Nta btw.
OP already did that and her mom got mad at her
@Nancy O'Malley yeah but that was directly to her face, not on social media or so, I thought anyway 🤔
Alcohol is a lot worse that half the things Opie wants at her wedding, including how sweet it is, yes soda can be unhealthy if you have it every single day and sweetie might be sugary, but that’s the point of it. It’s a wedding, not a diet convention.
S2 they can't handle a day without being blackout drunk at every occasion... Reminding me of Roger with a massive bottle of wine... *I Wouldn't Go To A Wedding Sober Because I Can't Stop Drinking Nor Control Myself When I Do* is exactly what those comments at the end said 🤷♂️ And then wonder why the wedding was dry when everyone is trying to get their alcohol fix to feel good about a wedding
Babysitter story: NTA your husband is selfish and entitled. Your SIL can’t be trusted
It's clear that there are other problems with the husband. I mean, why is he calling off going to the wedding for both of them? Why can't he stay home with the kid. Or vice versa. Plus, how in the world could he see his sister as more trustworthy than a babysitter considering what she did? OP really needs to think about if the rest of their marriage is healthy. Doesn't sound like it.
Sugar vs Alcohol: This has to be the only time I've ever heard anyone complain about SUGAR being too bad for you but alcohol is the better choice. I'm pretty sure no police officer is going to pull you over for driving with a sweet tooth.
Cecilia, Ursula, Natalie Tina. Lol!!!!!!!
or if it was 4 boys:
Thomas, William, Andrew, Timothy - as way of describing daddy dearest
😂😂
Ikr? 😅😂
@@destinysphinx27 😂😅
The story with the whole alcohol, there are people in my family who doesn’t drink.
Last story step mom can... 🕶️ *Dye* mad about the OP coloring their hair silver. Silver is very popular right now and has been a fun flip having younger folk going through the trouble of getting their hair grey while older women are letting their natural grey shine. Also, depending on how much lifting and toning the OP had to do to go silver, they can't dye their hair again for a while anyway. Bleaching and toning is really hard on hair, they need to let their hair rest before trying to mess with it more if they don't want to go bald in a hurry.
Last story: "My dad called me stubborn". As if that's a bad thing when you're right. What he's really saying is, "You're being stubborn for not doing the wrong thing just to make my life easier". Stick to your guns kid! 🤠 YeeeHaaaa!!!!
I will never understand people who need alcohol to support/celebrate a loved one, or prioritize alcohol over them.
Wedding story: NTA, we need to normalise partying without alcohol.
Exactly! It's just sad and pathetic that OP is actually being shamed for it. Her entire family needs to go to AA meetings
I would just announce 'okay if the people who don't wanna come if there is no booze please put their names on this list then we know who not to invite, it will certainly lighten the costs for us so thank you in advance' lol
You can't go to a party or a wedding or something of that nature without consuming alcohol you may need to look into the "relationship" you have with alcohol
I've never been a drinker, so people needing alcohol to have a good time baffles me. Just chat with people, catch up or mingle with the new family. Dance when music comes on, play some games. Share stories. I mean I get that alcohol can add to the festive feeling, but it should only be a perk and not a requirement to having fun.
This! I am not a drinker, but I don't begrudge others from drinking responsibly. Considering that the aunt lives over an hour a way and it doesn't sound like she wants a single glass of wine or two, she doesn't sound like a safe bet. I can see why OP is concerned about the family members if they are like her. I mean, she can't go a few hours without?
Same except the dancing lol my crippled ass would fall.
@@GMWILD87 XD I'm shy, so I mostly sway around the edges of the floor. I was also getting my shy niece to sway with me a bit, last wedding I was at. Sometimes my family drags me out for the group stuff and I feel a bit bolder about it, but mostly I feel like my dancing is just vertical flailing XD
@@jinxgirl5 lol mine would be horizontal flailing.
The carne asada one was funny and that same thing happened to my uncle. Never under estimate the power of beer
Aunt was going to drive a 1 1/2 hours to a wedding, drink and drive back.
Story 5: NTA, and your dad knows this, "Do it to keep the piece" is almost always code for "Your, in the right, but I am to lazy (or to much a coward) to fight for you and what is right."
My dude, your voice is AMAZING and I love listening to your readings
Dry Wedding - It's funny that aunt is going on about "Unhealthy Soda", since when was alcohol the pinnacle of healthy beverages?
My hair went mostly gray by the time I was about 22 and I’m 27 now. I don’t care that people dye their hair gray, it can look really good! Stepmom is insecure and putting the burden of that on OP.
It's funny that the step mom is saying no for that reason meanwhile I'm going no because I'm concerned if they need to bleach their hair first, if it works with their complexion and style. If they have any previous dye in their hair that has not grown out yet.
Their hair to do with as they please just hoping it's not something damaging.
@@LadyBern no yeah definitely. If it was damaging and they were worried about OP then sure, all the parents should sit and talk with OP about it. Sucks that stepmom didn’t act out of genuine concern though.
"She said I called her a drunk for being healthy." Um no. With the exception of wine, which was commonly used way back when instead of water because drinking water wasn't recommended, alcohol isn't really any healthier than tea of any kind. Heck, a sugary soda isn't gonna immediately make her unhealthy if she has one on a special occasion once and if she's so concerned about being healthy, water is an option. OP has every right to not want alcohol at her wedding (especially if it's also not child free, which I don't remember if it is or not) and OP is right anyway. If auntie dearest can't go one night without alcohol, or can't have fun without alcohol, she might want to talk to someone about her issues
Edit because of the YTA commenter. Unless I'm missing something, OP is hosting and paying for the event space where she is getting married. So it is very much going to be her responsibility if adults get drunk and, say, break something, while at her event. She does not want alcohol at her event, and she's not the idiot for not wanting alcohol there. If some guests cannot come because they can't go without for one event, then that's a price OP is willing to pay. And no, I don't care that this one commenter wouldn't go to a dry wedding. Good for this person. But it doesn't make someone else the idiot just because you wouldn't go. Lots of people want child free weddings. Wanting your wedding to be a certain way doesn't make you the idiot.
Plus, diet soda and sparkling, flavored water are things. If someone can't handle going without alcohol, they can stay home, pre party or bring a flask.
True. If someone can't go 24 hours without alcohol then that points to a deeply unhealthy dependency, if not a full-blown addiction.
The whole "people drank alcohol instead of water" thing is a myth. Water was actually the most common drink in the medieval period, and even the Greeks and Romans drank water a lot.
"Cecilia Ursula Natalie Tina"!
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Story 1: he want the name to validate his relationship. Though it seems he gets validation from his family already.
Pfft, I started getting grey/silver hairs in my 20's (I'm 32 now) and I don't have a problem with it. I think it's cool, plus what can I do about it? It is what it is. My mom got these cool patches of white near her temples when she was in her 40's and she thought they were ugly, until I told her they were cool. Changed her opinion after that.
Silver hair is super popular in high fantasy and anime, the stepmom should be happy she's coming by it naturally and not having to resort to wigs or dyes. xD
I started to gray at a point on the front and i started wondering if i could let grow so i could dress up as queen elinor lol
The yta comment on the dry wedding may not be aware that in some places that the bride and groom can be fined for any death or dui caused by drinking alcohol so if they don’t want the legal responsibility
I'm sure they're aware-they just don't care. They're triggered by the thought of 'no alcohol', even though they're total strangers to the people in the story and wouldn't even be there anyway
I couldn't stop laughing at how family just drops off child to the neighbours. How is this even a thought in your brain? It is so weird I cannot have empathy as have no idea why you would think it is alright.
I am so suprised by how many people can't have a good time without taking a drug.
S3 NTA remind her it's your wedding one two alcohol isn't good for diabetics too. Don't apologize, looks like the drunk will not be coming. Aunt is an alcohol. Good on you for standing your ground. This is no different the a child free wedding.if people don't like it don't come.
You're by far my favorite reader, because when you lose it and start to chuckle, it just slays me!😂❤
I love my natural gray hair!! I am 59 and I wish it had more gray in it!!!
You can have a party without alcohol. It is possible lots of people do it seriously one meal one event and you can’t live without alcohol you have an issue you might be an alcoholic and it’s Opie’s wedding not hers she needs to respect the bride and groom and their decisions, even if she’s not on board with them.
2. NTA, you didn’t even advise her you were just truthful. He’s a bum hope Amy let’s him go soon
S2 NTA tell her to separate their finances, I bet once he figures out he can't afford Uber eats anymore. But if he wants to make it about him and you, burn his but. He mad he's lost his meal ticket.
S1 NTA and I am baffled family of OP attacks new mother. I mean - seriously?! She carried on the dream of her mom. Dad lost the priviledge to do it when cheating. And his audacity to force it with his mistress! I agree with spicy comment that he should name the baby R name and make his acronyme LOVE-R😂
Final Story: NTA. It not disrespectful, it’s triggering. She is insecure about the fact that she is graying and wants to put that emotional responsibility onto you.
My mom did the same thing to me back in the 90s. I wanted to dye it a silvery grey..I thought it looked pretty. My mom flipped out like I’ve never seen honestly. So I went with purple. I’m in my 40s now…my hair is silver and looks great 😂
I was so happy when my hair turned silver. No more mousy, ash blond! And these young folks who are hopping on the silver bandwagon, more power to them! 🧓
Step mom "Politely" asked lol 🤢
Step-mom needs to understand that young people coloring their hair grey makes it harder to guess how old you are, so it's a good thing. Not to mention, that as a 60-something female, 40-something is not even close to being old. That woman has some rude shocks ahead of her! LOL
Love the argument that booze is healthier than lemonade. OP, NTA.
Story 1: NTA and op should lean into the petty, make one nice long Facebook post tagging the whole family and calling them all the fuck out, then blocking them all. Her brother included.
Story 2: NTA. Amy needs to upgrade that separate finances to DIVORCE.
Story 3: NTA. It sounds like OP’s family is a bunch of alcoholics. It’s not killing them to not drink. And also, they don’t HAVE TO go to the reception.
Story 4: NTA. A trusted family member abandoned OP’s child. Op needs to force husband’s hand though because he doesn’t get to just shut everything down all because op rightfully doesn’t trust his sister with their child. And a babysitter usually is pretty responsible.
Story 5: NTA. Op doesn’t need to seek advice. They need to pull the biomom trigger on dad and see if he wants to have the WORSE outcome of a pissed off ex wife and child who wants nothing to do with him.
Op is an idiot for overlooking the stupidity of her husband. The fact that he forgave his sister shows that he's more concerned with SIL feelings than the wellbeing of his son.
Dry wedding….. All my Family weddings were dry! Those were the best weddings as said by the staff at every venue! Those couples are all
Still very happily married ❤ 22 yrs to 55 years and inbetween!
Story 3: NTA if she’s so Concerned about health then why does she want alcohol, it’s just as unhealthy. Also there’s a lot of reasons to have alcohol free weddings
Supposedly a glass of red wine a day is in some way healthy. Somehow I doubt aunt is confining herself to just one daily glass of wine. That she can't have a good time without alcohol says much more about her than OP.
Story 2: I made the mistake of NOT maintaining separate finances when I made the mistake of marrying a fiscally irresponsible man. I would never join finances ever again.
Dry wedding: I do not understand people who freak the hell out because alcohol won’t be present. That 100% says more about the complainers than it says about the hosts. Believe it or not, it is entirely possible to have a good time without drinking.
Silver hair is awesome.
Sadly, I have been balding since I was in my early twenties so I can't really do much with it.
Dry wedding story: fun fact, in the early 20th century, advertisements promoting beer as a "good food alternative" were published in newspapers nationwide, and much like the cigarette ads mid century, physicians galore touted the benefits of drinking beer.
Source: first state job was helping microfilm newspapers from the 18th century thru the mid 1990s.
Edited to add: The YTA comment about a dry wedding being a bad thing. It sounds like OP and fiancee are worried about being sued for negligence if a drunk guest does serious damage after leaving the reception.
Dry wedding story: everyone who has an issue that no alcohol will be present are welcome to not come... Just make sure you say "do are you rsvping, Not coming?" and if they aren't invited then don't even reply. Not worth the time lol
So hubby wants sis to watch kiddo because he doesn't want a stranger to? But that's exactly what happened last time she did. She'll do it again and this time it won't be anyone you know and you'll be three hours away. He's completely mental to put your child at risk with such an unreliable moron. Why are you with someone who sees nothing wrong with risking your child's life? I hope you have a solid and legal plan in place if anything happens to you and your husband. Make sure she specifically doesn't get custody of your child.
Story #1
NTA. Stories like this are why, if one of my parents have an affair, I'd going no-contact with them as soon as possible. Anyone who thinks such a reaction is "too extreme" doesn't understand the horrible pain such an act causes or simply doesn't care.
If your relationship begins as an affair then there's no way for it to ever become legitimate. You can't be with that person in any way, shape, or form and still claim to be sorry or to have changed.
Story #2
NTA. All OP did was tell her friend that there were other ways to manage money in a relationship. Friend's husband is just sulking like a spoiled child because he can't leech off his wife anymore.
Story #3
NTA. It's OP's wedding, she's allowed to have it dry. Anyone who votes yta or esh should be assumed to be an alcoholic. "I'd leave the reception early because I can't bare to go 24 hours without alcohol".
Story #4
NTA. OP has a husband problem, not a friend problem. As for why OP can't go to the wedding alone, I bet it's because OP is afraid he'll leave to do something else and have SIL watch the baby anyway to prove a point.
Story #5
NTA. Stepmom tried to make a power-play, and father isn't standing up for OP because he values access to sex over his own child. I think OP should live with their mom full-time anyway, and tell father it's because he chose the wrong side.
Alcohol at the wedding story: tell her cristians aren't allowed to drink alcohol. She is so concerned about not being in church, why she isn't concerned that she is committing a sin by drinking alcohol?
To the person that says who will hold you responsible. The law will if the kill someone on the way home. Drunk n. Buzz driving are three same.
"Sugar is so bad for you!!"
Yet alcohol is so healthy...
The E Name- You need to impress upon your Stepmother that you will BLAST THE FAMILY SOCIAL MEDIA WITH THE STORY OF WHO CAME UP WITH THE CONCEPT OF THE NAMES. AND DOES SHE REALLY WANT TO START HAVING PEOPLE CALL HER BY YOUR MOTHER'S NAME.
Then ask her, why doesn't she start her OWN family name traditions, and have four of five kids. Your father would LOVE that.
full offence but if you can't have fun at a party without alcohol then you should just stay home
I mean it’s not right but Love can also be pronounced with Luv or Lov so you and 2 siblings are Love
Silver Hair: "Because I ran to my mom to avoid the rules."
If mom objects to them then I think that's the definition of them NOT being the rules.
Story 3: Aunt aeems to have a drinking problem.
I’d say “Oh you don’t like me stealing the baby name that you stole from me in the first place? That’s ok. I’m just following your example. You steal things-men, relationships, other people’s lives and dreams, baby names from the woman you stole the man from etc. GREAT example. I’m taking notes from your behavior. Feels great doesn’t it? To have someone outplay YOU for once? Good luck keeping that cheating man from doing the same thing to you when he tires of you. The grass is always greener on the other side. And honey-you ain’t staying’ green for long.” 😂. But then again I’m one of those people sick and dam- tired of people acting badly and leaning into their worst impulses. I’ve got two parents like that. Around young teen age I started warning my dad’s new girlfriends that he would cheat on them if they were nice decent girls. And that the man only had one true love in his life and it was himself, always. He would always look out for number one-HIM. Some didn’t listen and eventually they found out the hard way. But they can’t say that they weren’t warned. And as for my mom, well-her taste in men was trash. If there was some stupid mean abusive drunken imbecile in the vicinity-she was completely attracted to him. And her reputation preceded her-so they got what they had coming to them in my opinion. And half of them were cheaters too, so big deal.
Silver hair story: OP is entitled. They are entitled to bodily autonomy. They are entitled to make the decisions about their body as they see fit.
As for dying hair silver "making fun of old people"....no. it let's younger people feel like they have come trop over themselves as well as give off the impression of looking older and beautiful. At the same time, it gives older people with naturally silvering hair the opportunity to feel young and in style.
Had us in the first half
My great grandfather used to say, " Stupid people can't grow grey hair." Still love this. Having my first greys showing and I'm proud of them
I have dyed grey hair. I get the most compliments off the older generation that have naturally grey hair. They tend to joke that they didn't pay for theirs but they like mine more
Last Story: So is stepmom gonna ignore the fact that people could be naturally born with silver hair? It's just a rare shade of blond.
All the people in family #1 are off their rocker.
That first story.. all of them are dumb. All over a damn name. Name your child whatever the hell you want to.
The dry wedding story; NTA cause they would be held responsible if someone broke something. Yes, there is event insurance you can buy, but still not many have that type of money to buy that. And I work for progressive we offer wedding event insurance.
Re: The Dry Wedding story: According to Noted Businessman Tony Stark, "If you need alcohol to have a good time ANYWHERE, then you have a drinking problem."
And when Tony Stark says you have a drinking problem...😅
Dry Wedding: NTA Everyone that says they need alcohol to have a good time at your wedding was only coming for the free drinks.
Aunt can drink a glass of wine from home before going to the wedding.