I have been in this for 24 years now. I did not really want to get married a second time- He begged me and I gave in thinking he was the one. I wanted to wait until marriage until we were intimate, which he was okay with. Our wedding night was a complete disaster. He went to bed and was snoring - on our wedding night ! Only later did I discover the porn addiction. Therapy did not work, medicine did not work. He prefers masturbation over sex. Why he wanted to marry me is still beyond me. That part of me is just a locked door now. I just can't even face it. I had no idea there were others out there like me. I have been approached by so many other men who are interested, but honestly I am just dead inside. Thank you for bringing up this issue.
many times they are secretly gay! Ask me how I know ... 😂😂😂 Good luck, there's nothing like getting yourself back. Focus on learning the proper questions to ask when meeting a man. I've also decided there won't be any sex with a potential new partner for at least a year! Look for the Green flags! Blessings to you!
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with this. If you need support, you can contact my office at 719-278-3708 and my team can connect you with a certified counselor to help you through this. You are not alone.
@@DrDougWeiss so my husband says when I get mad and say things about his porn use or try to talk to him about it or about our sexless relationship anything that involves what's going on with me in that situation he says that it's the things that I watch that's keeping it in my head and why I can't move forward from it is because of things that I watch like trying to help myself and better myself and I just what do I tell him because it's not what I watch it's because of what he's done I've tried telling him this and it's goes out the window what can I say or do to make him realize that it's him and what he's done
@@MartinMyers-s5p What he is doing is a classic example of gaslighting. You might want to watch that video that can help make sense of this bizarre behavior: ruclips.net/video/h31MRMwTqZo/видео.html
Was married for 20 years almost right after we got married, I got told I needed to "calm down", that I was too much, felt like I had to beg for attention, that I was too needy. I went up to 400 lbs. Divorced last year, finally down to my pre married weight, still have more to lose. Wish I knew about this before. I thought it was me. Sad thing is I never got to have kids and all I ever wanted to be was a mom. 🥺
I have so many regrets from staying in a sexless marriage! My weight ballooned also, yet he would try to say the weight went up before the sexlessness started. I stayed with him 35 yrs🙄.
@janetvanantwerp8899 so sorry hun. I know I started to gain weight rapidly before the wedding, I thought it was because I went off low-carb, now I think my body was telling it wasn’t the right decision. The full weight of all those lost years hit me when I watched this video 🥺
I'm in your shoes I want to be a dad😢 and I still married her and I thought I love her and trying to get her to have children and she didn't want any been there for almost 18 years but I'm a most 50 now and I still childless😢
@@ArthurSB-gd7mc She is a HUMAN BEING, not your personal incubator. Try putting in the effort to make sex worth it for her. I heard a saying 'good sex starts with doing the dishes'. Try pulling your weight with housework.(rinsing a cup out, once a year is NOT pulling your weight) Try being affectionate when you are NOT horny. Try respecting her. Treat her as your EQUAL. Try LISTENING to her. Give her genuine compliments. Try TAKING HER SERIOUSLY. Take her out on real dates, not just down the pub, or to a 'game', or 'motel'. Try being supportive of her. You demand sex on tap from her. Try focusing on HER, not yourself, sexually. SLOW DOWN, BE GENTLE, stop rushing her. (a peck on the cheek, mauling her for 30 seconds, like meat in a butchers, rubbing as though sandpapering wood, or squeezing as though checking for ripeness, then ramming yourself in, humping away, then lighting a ciggie/reaching for tv remote/turning over and snoring, delete as appropriate, is NOT good sex for women) You clearly see her as nothing more than a breeding machine. You will whine, and claim to be a saint, and claim to do all of the above., when you do NOTHING in reality. Or, you will patronise me, ridicule me, or hurl abuse. You are a misogynist, and are incapable of replying respectfully, or even in a civil manner, to a WOMAN and NON-AMERICAN.
At least 80% of the time, I had to initiate sex. He was a narcissist, it was like having sex with a robot. He also denied me children, even though he said we could have a baby when we got married. He was a nightmare in every way possible.
Experienced divorce lawyer here (Pennsylvania and New Jersey). I see these issues in a majority of my divorce cases. Some people stay in horrible, sexless marriages for years. Sad but true.
Thank you for saying "people." I have a friend who has only had a total of about 3 years of any sex life during HIS entire 23-year marriage because his wife refuses him constantly. He's turned to porn and mastubation for relief. Not sure if he's actually cheated on her, but I wouldn't blame him. People need intimacy on all levels and he gets virtually nothing from her. It's not just an emotional crime against women. Women are not always the victims.
I have a question. Why do people still have sex? Sex is very gross, nasty, messy, and disgusting! I don't see how sex is a good thing. Women can still get pregnant without sex (there's a lot of ways women can get pregnant without sex including artificial insemination). Sex does cause a lot of problems, so the world might be a much better place without it.
The last 10 of my 20 year marriage he denied me sex, intimacy, knowing words of affirmation and physical touch were my love languages, he refused me both. Being alone is less lonely than laying next to someone that treats you like that. I left the marriage but as I was ending it he told me in front of a therapist that he knows what he did to me and would regret it for the rest of his life.
Sounds exactly like my story, but not 20 years. I Don't know how you put up with it for so long! The four years that I spent with the DL man was WAY TOO LONG - Shame on me! But honestly it took almost the entire 4 years before I figured him out! Cowards, little boys in big bodies. They want the convenience of a woman keeping the home fires burning and churning, but they want S*x with men. It's a vicious cycle because I believe they hate themselves down deep Inside, and they take it out on us. Most get by with this because hey have enough money to supply all your financial needs... what more could you want? Hahahaha 😂 They are sick men. And he probably will regret it cause a good woman got away from him - the abuser! 💕
I’m so glad for you to talk about WOMEN being deprived from sex, attention, desire, etc., unfortunately most men believe it is women who don’t want sex but that’s not exclusive to them. I’m 64 and I’m one of them, married but alone.
stayed for 30 years, because I made a vow to God the day I got married. A little sex early on, like first 5 months. He was a pastor, I had to keep up appearances. Due to another issue I went to therapy. Am now happily divorced for 7 years.
I think Christians do not interpret the concept of adultery correctly. The duties of a man and a woman are clearly written down in the Bible and sex is included. I think if somebody breaches those wedding vows - including abandonment and sexlessness - he commits adultery - and hence divorce is justified. I am happy for you that you have taken the courage and left. I wish you a good man!
I am so incredibly grateful for this video...the sheer level of emotional "abuse" I am suffering from has been so isolating and destructive to my self-esteem...I feel I will never recover from the past 10+ years of rejection.
I'm sad that you have been enduring such pain because of your spouse. Your partner betrayal trauma is real. It may seem hopeless because of how long it's been, but I want you to know that there is still hope and healing available for you. You can get healing and support for yourself so that you don't have to continue to go through this all by yourself. We have therapists available that you can make an appointment with by calling our office at 719-278-3708. For community support, consider connecting with our free Married & Alone Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone I would suggest checking out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this relates to your situation. The Partner Betrayal Trauma book, workbook, and stepbook are great resources that were created to help validate your experience and help through the process towards healing: www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook-ebook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-step-ebook/ You might find the Worthy series and the Why Do I Stay video download useful as well: www.drdougweiss.com/product/worthy-video-and-workbook-download-set/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-video-download/
I waited 16 years to give sex in a married situation. It was the most crushing , cruel part of the betrayal. I left at 10 months. Seeing he was twisted and cruel. Never felt as alone as when I was with him. Back to healthy me now. Hoping one day to experience a true relationship.
Thank you for this!!!! I often see and hear of men in sexless marriages, but never saw anyone acknowledge the women who are in a sexless marriage. I am now divorced 14 years and was married for 15. He is a narcissist and this is yet another part of the damage.
When he withheld, I moved into another bedroom. We lived different lives in the same house until he passed away in 2022. Yes he had a medical condition, that he refused to get help for. I have now found someone else that treats me right.
I got told to live in other bedroom and never went back. He got prostate cancer later in life. He switched off affection he had cheated overseas so he could not live with his guilt. I felt so lonely he worked to avoid me. He wouldn't take visgra so love died.
I was a vigin bride at 21 to a man 32. He was totally enmeshed with his mother. There were red flags in my face but I was too naive to recognize them. After 11 years of a sexless marriage I finally divorced him. I was a wild child after my divorce to fill the void in my life. I don’t recommend this route but I understand the need to feel validated. I finally did marry a man who loved me physically and emotionally. Life can be beautiful with the right person. Thank you for this video.
After such a relationship, you collect fragments of yourself. I blamed myself so much, changed myself, but in the end I realized that I am ok. I talked and talked....the wall. It exhausts you so much that you become negative towards yourself. Every woman deserves to feel love, to be wanted, but often the other side, it's easier for him to blame you than to see what he's doing.
I'm a passionate person and completely in love with him and now he withholds and It's breaking me down. I do blame myself that I'm not attractive enough anymore for him or that he is cheating and when I bring it up, he gets so angry at me and doesn't speak to me for days at a time. I cant stop crying when I think about his affection being taken away and he wants me to still be a happy person with him when I am devastated. I miss our connection whole heartedly. Never planned on being platonic when we used to have fire for each other and it's still a newer relationship. I don't get it.
Your desire for intimacy is valid. You are not responsible for his choice of withholding intimacy and connection. I would suggest looking up "Intimacy Anorexia" and see it this applies to your situation. intimacyanorexia.com/ Nevertheless, your pain from this is real. If you need support, you can contact my office at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our counselors to walk with you through this. You can also join our Married & Alone Facebook community group: facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone You are not alone in this.
@@DrDougWeiss Thank you! I'm about ready to walk after explaining to him time and time again how I feel when I am rejected & neglected and he will not give me reasons, he only gets angry that I have emotional needs. Our relationship is all about him and I don't deserve any of this, no one does. I'm losing respect for him and I'd rather be single than cry alone about this any longer. I'm a lot stronger than he gives me credit for and feels like our relationship is just about dead and I feel dead being with him. He doesn't realize I'll go and never look back. I will miss who I fell in love with but not this character he is showing me now. Thanks for the reply! I've have it bookmarked, darlin'.
@@bebop3148 as a person who has stayed in such a relationship for too long, I can't describe to you how much it drains you, it takes away so much energy that in the end you don't know who you are. I hope you found a way out because you will breathe again
I have came across so much information about men in a sexless marriages and the effect on them. This is the first thing I came across that made me feel seen.
I'm on the other side. Zero physical intimacy. Not even holding hands. To suggest it brings a dirty look. Withdrawal, gas-lighted. I haven't met or spoke to a woman yet who has been denied, but seeing all of the comments I can see they are out there. Especially a woman who is in good shape. Baffles me.
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. If you need help or support, you can contact our office at 719-278-3708 where my team can get you scheduled with a counselor or connect with with helpful resources and groups. You can also check out our RUclips video on how a sexless marriage affects a man here: ruclips.net/video/pHeyTsOeOLY/видео.html
My wife has time for everyone in her live but me. She has many friends and talks to many of them often. I have a few friends that I only see at work. I lost the relationship with my wife when we had children together. All of her energy is spent on the children and she has none left for me. I work a full time job. She has refused to get a job. I pay for everything including the expensive vacations she wants to go on. She gets very upset if I want to do a hunting or fishing trip for myself even though she has no interest in those things like she did when we were dating. I am in a sexless marriage. I sleep in a separate room on our house. When our children are grown and move out she thinks our relationship will be back to what it was, but there will be nothing left of us by then.
I know this is off the subject However I looked more into your file online You have a Great file playlist Excellent taste 👌 God Bless You 🙌 🙏 Have a Great Blessed Beautiful Successful Day and Weekend Blessings 🙌 🙌 🙌 to You on Your Journey ✡️ 🙏 ✨️ 🙌
I feel like im ugly my husband make me feel like this when he do this to me..i feel so so bad abaout me..i feel im not good enuff and ugly and extreme sad
My fiancé just stopped having sex with me and we have only been together 2 years. I have never experienced something like this before in my life. I am watching this because I don’t know what to do! I have tried to initiate sex but it goes no where! I am so upset! We had a great sex life for about a year and a half now nothing! I can’t figure out if he is cheating or what is going on!
I understand that this is an incredibly frustrating experience for you and that you are in pain from the lack of intimacy. You might want to address these issues, as well as why you are accepting this behavior from him. Regarding your concerns, he could do a polygraph to determine if he is cheating, doing porn, or masturbating. Nevertheless, if he chooses not to address the issue of the lack of intimacy, your pain will become greater over time. If you would like to talk to a counselor or coach about this betrayal and neglect, call our office at 719 278 3708. You can get help for yourself or if he is willing, the two of you could do couples counseling to address the issues that are going on. Additionally, you might want to explore intimacyanorexia.com to see if this situation resonates with your experiences. I have a few RUclips videos that might provide some insight and guidance as well: How to Fix a Sexless Marriage | Restoring Intimacy in a Marriage: ruclips.net/video/0ek7qPDH-_E/видео.html Where Do Intimacy Issues Stem From: ruclips.net/video/z0ArqSX7ZSY/видео.html How to Grow Intimacy in My Relationship: ruclips.net/video/afoxiJq-Jls/видео.html
Your comments are from three months ago. Is there any change in your Situation? It's ok If you two ignore me, I just thought, If you experienced a change, maybe you found a solution I can use too.
Good topic. It took me 15 years married life to divorce my husband. He had refuse to touch me despite me begging. I finally realized he hated me plus all other behavior to show me he hated me. Not just no sex or touching allowed but horrible actions. I woke up and glad got divorced. Also discovered he was into gay men and cheated with lady at his job
That’s what I lived with my ex-husband. I have been married only once and it was not a good experience. I had to leave for my sake because he didn’t care. I was completely broken because we have 3 kids but I had to choose between staying in an unhealthy marriage or leave for my health and sanity. I went through healing, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I would love to find the right partner and build a life together, waiting on my lord’s perfect timing 🙏🏻
Beautiful sensitive dignified delivery from you. Thankyou. Your words are salve for my soul. 9 months after the divorce. 16 months from the day i ran from the twisted short term marraige. I have found me. And my dignity and heart again.
I was in a marriage for 35 yrs. The first 10 yrs were good. Then we had 2 children and the sexlessness began. I’m wondering if there is often a relationship between the birth of children and the start of sexlessness? I ended up gaining weight from feeling so unlovable. Food was my substitute for love and inadequacies I felt I had. Then I had weight loss surgery and still a sexless marriage. 4 yrs after losing the weight, he decided to leave me because he wanted someone with a “perfect” body. Not like he had a perfect body! Funny thing is, 11 yrs later and I have had multiple relationships and none of them made me feel less, while he has had none. He was living in a fantasy world created by the porn videos he was addicted to.
Life is really complicated, I've been through a rough patch in my life, living in a marriage devoid of love and intimacy. The frustration was overwhelming, the tension palpable, and the arguments were constant. As I dug deeper, I uncovered a harsh reality: my husband was having an affair. It didn't stop there-he was also battling addiction, had a terrible temper, and was a compulsive liar. The lies were about anything and everything, completely unrelated to our situation.
all sounds familiar, lies and excuses, women, private phone chats with women, but all innocent according to him, so i just let him did his own grave. I am my mans lover, and no lovey dovey necessary, just erotica and having an orgasm...he comes in handy at times, but i have the high libido and he needs to visualise every young voluptuous female out in the real world before getting turned on. My heart broke a long time ago and just use him for sex.
You are not alone in this. I'm sad to hear that you have been living with this neglect for so long. Please consider reaching out to our office at 719-278-3708 to get connected with a therapist so that you can get the support and healing that you deserve. We also have a few validating resources for your situation in the form of our Married & Alone book and workbook. www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-healing-exercises-ebook/
I wish i found this info years earlier. I felt so lonely and desperate looking for answers. After more than 15 years i decided to divorce. It was the hardest decision of my life. But rewarding.
I'm so glad you've address this very important topic. This feels so true for me. What I went through. Stuck legally married, he hasn't mived the divorce through the courts. And now 20 years married coming up soon and at least half of my life is behind me. Do I dare think to try again?
My wife changed immediately after our first was born. After that it’s been pretty much sexless unless we were trying fora baby. On the very rare occasions she seems hardly present in the moment. She’d much rather read a book! Sadly I’m still experiencing the same after 33 years!
Your pain from this is real. If you haven't already, you can watch the male version of this RUclips video called "How A Sexless Marriage Impacts a Man", as well as the video "Dead Bedroom After Kids" for validation and guidance on the matter. ruclips.net/video/pHeyTsOeOLY/видео.html ruclips.net/video/mVx-ihy_U34/видео.html For additional reasons regarding the lack of intimacy and sex, you can check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if Intimacy Anorexia relates to what's going on in your marriage, or get the Sexless and Married DVD. www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-dvd/ If you're interested in getting with a counselor who is trained in this area, you can contact 719-278-3708 and my staff can help you get started with the support and healing that you need.
Mine is different, he has low testosterone but won’t do anything about it. He finally got the shoulder cream, and stopped taking it without telling me. Said it wasn’t working. Back to square one. I’m so done. Crying every night, depressed can’t get out of bed, mind is blank and empty. Gained so much weight. I’m just so done.
Your pain from this is real. It is normal to desire intimacy in a relationship and when it is not reciprocated, it can leave the person feelings unwanted, devastated, and distressed. At this time. you may want to consider getting support for yourself so that you don't have to deal with this alone. If you need help, please consider getting in touch with one of our therapists here at Heart To Heart who will walk with you and help you find healing. Contact 719-278-3708 to get started. You might also find validation in the Married & Alone ebook/video which addresses those who live in married and alone relationships. www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-video-download/
So so much pain. We went to “ Heart to Heart” last year in September but it didn’t help us. I wish Dr. Weiss would have been our therapist. I really wish it could’ve helped with the counselor that we got. We are still married. I have been 13 months in severe depression. I am finally on some good prescribed medication but the trauma is there I still feel neglected. Yea I had an affair in June last year for a whole month I wanted to feel alive and loved and that is what this person gave me. It didn’t not work for many, many. Many reasons. I also wanted my family more than limerence and of course a real relationship my husband says he has betrayal trauma from the affair well so do I from being lied to all these years, saying he would get help and never dollying through and neglected time and time again. How can we heal? Can it be possible to have a new marriage with him. I feel like even though he apologizes I still don’t think he gets “ it” total “ Avoidant” and “Intimacy anorex” totally. I need my self esteem back. I used to be vibrant and passionate. My kids can see all the tears. I am fearful. Stay or go? And go where? I really ask God every day to heal us both. To help remove resentment and for a miracle to happen! Any miracles out there? Did you souse Change? Is it possible?
@@ElimEx1 My, my, what a tone. Are you aware you sound very judgmental and put out? Are you here because someone feels you aren’t showing up well in this world? They may be accurate. Because, while you are busy working out your issues on me you might not be present to the fact that there are a multitude of reasons why one partner may not be willing or able to try. And while you have it all together so much that you are baiting strangers I doubt you have the capacity, skill, knowledge or basic empathy to be of help to anyone on this planet. So bugger off with your flaccid judgement.
@@ElimEx1Oh, poor little narc, lost his supply, oh, awe, sad, oh, soooooooo, sad. Trying to imply I am less than only indicates that you are extremely insecure and not brave enough to grow in any way. It is truly sad. You do know no one wants to sleep with you because of your personality. Very shitty of you to be seeking supply by insulting strangers over the internet can be dangerous………..
@@ElimEx1 How does it feel in your body when you attempt to shame a stranger to improve your mood? Is it pride? Or are you aware of how weak and pathetic you sound?
Very interesting video. I appreciate people bringing light to dark subjects. I’ve got an amazing sex life and wonderful marriage, my husband and I never had to deal with any of these issues. I just wanted to say that the ball bounces in both directions. Many men have to deal with the same sexual starvation in their relationships. There is a couple that I am friends with who only had sex less than a dozen times the first 20 years of their marriage. The poor man was sexually trampled by a very beautiful woman who was a total prude. I am happy to say that I was able to engage in a deep and meaningful discussion with her and completely opened her eyes. I helped her realize her sexual potential, her needs and her deep misunderstanding about the purpose of sex and sexual intimacy. I also helped her receive proper professional sexual counseling. For the past two years, she and her hubby have been having daily sexual interactions, she has learned to perform and receive oral sex, she enjoys a variety of sex toys and thoroughly enjoys self pleasure. I wish there were many more success stories like hers.
I'm a guy, but I stay in my sexless marriage because I have a 7 year old son. My wife even got me to alter my body by having a vasectomy because she lied to me and said she didn't want to have sex because she didn't want to get pregnant again. After the vasectomy nothing changed. Our marriage has been sexless for more than 7 years. I don't even try with her anymore, I just cheat on her all the time now. But without cheating, I would have left a long time ago. When my son turns 16 I plan on leaving, if we even last that long.
I have a video called "Sexless and Married" that explores several of the top reasons why people are sexless in their marriages. You can also check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if Intimacy Anorexia applies to your situation. www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-video-download/ Nevertheless, your desire for intimacy is normal, and if you need support, you can get connected with one of our trained therapists from our office at 719-278-3708.
My ex was like this. It caused me to have sexual dysfunction depression very low self esteem. I divorced him in 2008 and the trauma is still in the back of my mind even though I had partners that desired me and wanted sex from me.
I'm sorry that you are still experiencing this trauma from your past relationship. If you want help in healing and moving forward, please contact my office at 719-278-3708 and my team can get you set up with a therapist certified in partner betrayal trauma. You can also check out the Partner Betrayal Trauma book and workbook, which would be beneficial in validating what you have gone through and work through it. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook-ebook/
I'm not rejecting him not going to chase him online or offline though. Not long-distance. I can not have a sexless relationship!!! Just to be like husband & wife offline as well. With that kind of energy wanting to jump each other's bones
I am trying to learn a different language. “Connect”, for example. Have you ever “connected” with a ball buster in a meaningful way? Most likely no. You may have screwed her. There may have been “connect”. Only that and nothing more.
Hmm, I wonder why you view it that way? Maybe it is time to speak to a therapist to help you see it as a beautiful, sacred, loving connection between two souls.
No, my wife doesnt have a p0rn or mstrbting issue. We just... dont. We dont kiss, barely hold hands, we sleep in same bed. I tell her shes beautiful and i initiate 99% of the time. Oh, im also a woman. Weve been married 3 years. I can count on ONE hand how many times weve done anything this YEAR. In case you're wondering, she and i are both attractive, healthy...shes the "guy" one. Im the "femme" She just doesnt flirt with me. She doesnt check me out if i wear a lowcut top. Ive told her... still nothing. Our marriage is otherwise amazing…
@Billy-the-Kid Usually men end up saying things so incredibly stupid, I swear I'm grateful I don't have to deal with it. If it's between dealing with a frigid wife and an idiot ill take wife all day.
You touch my broken heart with this video. It makes me cry because I'm living this kind of life for about 5 years. It's really painful. I'm dealing with depression and anxiety. If I wasn't a mother, I would kill myself😢. I'm a walking dead.
I'm sad to hear that this has impacted you so deeply. Living in a marriage without intimacy or sex can feel incredibly lonely and isolating. It sounds like you're carrying a heavy emotional burden right now. Know that your feelings are valid, and it's important to take care of yourself, especially when dealing with depression and anxiety. Please don't go through this alone. I encourage you to reach out for support, whether through meeting with a doctor, starting counseling, or having a supportive community alongside you. If you're interested, consider reaching out to Heart To Heart Counseling office at 719-278-3708. Our therapists here specialize in helping those who feel alone and betrayed in their marriages and they will compassionately walk with you through this toward healing. You can also join our Married & Alone phone or Facebook group. www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/ facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone You might also find the Married & Alone ebook/video download and workbook helpful for validation and guidance in this situation as well. www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-video-download/ Please don't hesitate to seek help-you deserve to find peace and joy in life.
I don't know why a woman wouldn't want to be intimate with her husband but if she has a sexless marriage, she won't be married for long because he will go elsewhere.
“How a Sexless marriage impacts a man” problem = men are watching pornography and the cause of the issues “How a Sexless marriage impacts a woman” problem = problem = men are watching pornography and the cause of the issues….
@@gracemartin8525 actually I’m making fun at how this is presented in the last two videos. It’s not always the man’s fault, believe it or not. And it’s terrible that it’s the conclusion in both videos alleged to be from differing perspectives
We have phone and virtual counseling available if you are interested, as well as many certified therapists across the U.S. You can call us at 719-278-3708 or visit: aasat.org/find-therapist/ to see if there is someone in your area or nearby.
Stop complaining about stupid things🤦 Be grateful that you are healthy and alive. No such thing is called permanent relationship or marriage. Check your local court to see how many people file divorce.
It’s trauma when a woman denies man sex too then Everything is always on the woman’s side If a man wants sex and his partner doesn’t she makes him feel like a sex pest What’s the difference 🤷♂️
You are correct in that it can be traumatic when a man is denied sex frequently by his wife. If you're interested, you can watch the "How A Sexless Marriage Impacts A Man" RUclips video that explores when the man is in this position: ruclips.net/video/pHeyTsOeOLY/видео.html
Please not another video blaming the man. Most sexless marriages its the wife that shut it down. The man is trying to figure out how to save his marriage.
Well it’s a 2 way street. It affects men and women and the majority of videos are about men not getting it so grin and bear the video or move along. Your post is so selfish I wouldn’t want to have sex with you either. Women don’t want whiners. Now that’s a turn off.
A large number of the times, women should look in the mirror to discover why their husbands have given up on their intimacy and want nothing to do with it. Stop projecting your issues on your partner and own up to them (that goes for both partners). And if you think it's not you, then talk to him about opening up the relationship. Works wonder for a lot of people.
What a bunch of BS Most people that been in long-term relationships are looking for novelty. When you’ve been in a relationship for 10 years the bedroom gets really really boring to the point with a couple are not having sex. That’s where we get the seven year itch this is BS
I think s*x in a relationship is really important but so is caring about my feelings too ! And Thankyou for this good, interesting and helpful video. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
![GUILTY GEAR -STRIVE- Season Pass 4 Playable Character #1 [Queen Dizzy] Trailer](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nXDsAgYXXv4/mqdefault.jpg)
I have been in this for 24 years now. I did not really want to get married a second time- He begged me and I gave in thinking he was the one. I wanted to wait until marriage until we were intimate, which he was okay with. Our wedding night was a complete disaster. He went to bed and was snoring - on our wedding night ! Only later did I discover the porn addiction. Therapy did not work, medicine did not work. He prefers masturbation over sex. Why he wanted to marry me is still beyond me. That part of me is just a locked door now. I just can't even face it. I had no idea there were others out there like me. I have been approached by so many other men who are interested, but honestly I am just dead inside. Thank you for bringing up this issue.
many times they are secretly gay! Ask me how I know ... 😂😂😂 Good luck, there's nothing like getting yourself back. Focus on learning the proper questions to ask when meeting a man. I've also decided there won't be any sex with a potential new partner for at least a year! Look for the Green flags! Blessings to you!
@@ThrivenLife I’ve thought the same thing. Gay.
@ThrivenLife I've wondered about the gay part!
IA= GAY in demial
Happened the same to me. When I realized this man is pornaddicted I left very sad.
My husband is wonderful man, he provides for us. I battle with leaving. But mentally it’s taking a toll on my mental health.
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with this. If you need support, you can contact my office at 719-278-3708 and my team can connect you with a certified counselor to help you through this. You are not alone.
You are definitely not alone with that feeling.
@@DrDougWeiss so my husband says when I get mad and say things about his porn use or try to talk to him about it or about our sexless relationship anything that involves what's going on with me in that situation he says that it's the things that I watch that's keeping it in my head and why I can't move forward from it is because of things that I watch like trying to help myself and better myself and I just what do I tell him because it's not what I watch it's because of what he's done I've tried telling him this and it's goes out the window what can I say or do to make him realize that it's him and what he's done
@@MartinMyers-s5p What he is doing is a classic example of gaslighting. You might want to watch that video that can help make sense of this bizarre behavior: ruclips.net/video/h31MRMwTqZo/видео.html
Please leave right away, it’s devastating to stay.
That's not always the right answer for everyone.
@@ChaserBandit777 no, but it still will eat you alive.
Was married for 20 years almost right after we got married, I got told I needed to "calm down", that I was too much, felt like I had to beg for attention, that I was too needy. I went up to 400 lbs. Divorced last year, finally down to my pre married weight, still have more to lose. Wish I knew about this before. I thought it was me. Sad thing is I never got to have kids and all I ever wanted to be was a mom. 🥺
I have so many regrets from staying in a sexless marriage! My weight ballooned also, yet he would try to say the weight went up before the sexlessness started. I stayed with him 35 yrs🙄.
@janetvanantwerp8899 so sorry hun. I know I started to gain weight rapidly before the wedding, I thought it was because I went off low-carb, now I think my body was telling it wasn’t the right decision. The full weight of all those lost years hit me when I watched this video 🥺
I'm in your shoes I want to be a dad😢 and I still married her and I thought I love her and trying to get her to have children and she didn't want any been there for almost 18 years but I'm a most 50 now and I still childless😢
@@ArthurSB-gd7mc She is a HUMAN BEING, not your personal incubator. Try putting in the effort to make sex worth it for her. I heard a saying 'good sex starts with doing the dishes'. Try pulling your weight with housework.(rinsing a cup out, once a year is NOT pulling your weight) Try being affectionate when you are NOT horny. Try respecting her. Treat her as your EQUAL. Try LISTENING to her. Give her genuine compliments. Try TAKING HER SERIOUSLY. Take her out on real dates, not just down the pub, or to a 'game', or 'motel'. Try being supportive of her. You demand sex on tap from her. Try focusing on HER, not yourself, sexually. SLOW DOWN, BE GENTLE, stop rushing her. (a peck on the cheek, mauling her for 30 seconds, like meat in a butchers, rubbing as though sandpapering wood, or squeezing as though checking for ripeness, then ramming yourself in, humping away, then lighting a ciggie/reaching for tv remote/turning over and snoring, delete as appropriate, is NOT good sex for women) You clearly see her as nothing more than a breeding machine. You will whine, and claim to be a saint, and claim to do all of the above., when you do NOTHING in reality. Or, you will patronise me, ridicule me, or hurl abuse. You are a misogynist, and are incapable of replying respectfully, or even in a civil manner, to a WOMAN and NON-AMERICAN.
At least 80% of the time, I had to initiate sex. He was a narcissist, it was like having sex with a robot. He also denied me children, even though he said we could have a baby when we got married. He was a nightmare in every way possible.
Experienced divorce lawyer here (Pennsylvania and New Jersey). I see these issues in a majority of my divorce cases. Some people stay in horrible, sexless marriages for years. Sad but true.
Thank you for saying "people." I have a friend who has only had a total of about 3 years of any sex life during HIS entire 23-year marriage because his wife refuses him constantly. He's turned to porn and mastubation for relief. Not sure if he's actually cheated on her, but I wouldn't blame him. People need intimacy on all levels and he gets virtually nothing from her. It's not just an emotional crime against women. Women are not always the victims.
Yes, I did.
My ex-husband withheld any form of affection from me, and it still affects me.
I have a question. Why do people still have sex? Sex is very gross, nasty, messy, and disgusting! I don't see how sex is a good thing. Women can still get pregnant without sex (there's a lot of ways women can get pregnant without sex including artificial insemination). Sex does cause a lot of problems, so the world might be a much better place without it.
The last 10 of my 20 year marriage he denied me sex, intimacy, knowing words of affirmation and physical touch were my love languages, he refused me both. Being alone is less lonely than laying next to someone that treats you like that. I left the marriage but as I was ending it he told me in front of a therapist that he knows what he did to me and would regret it for the rest of his life.
Sounds exactly like my story, but not 20 years. I Don't know how you put up with it for so long! The four years that I spent with the DL man was WAY TOO LONG - Shame on me! But honestly it took almost the entire 4 years before I figured him out!
Cowards, little boys in big bodies. They want the convenience of a woman keeping the home fires burning and churning, but they want S*x with men. It's a vicious cycle because I believe they hate themselves down deep Inside, and they take it out on us. Most get by with this because hey have enough money to supply all your financial needs... what more could you want? Hahahaha 😂 They are sick men. And he probably will regret it cause a good woman got away from him - the abuser! 💕
Usually, it's a used by lack of physical attraction
@@JohnQPublic345 I’m very attractive.
@@GenRN well then go get a date. It's 1000x easier for a woman
@@JohnQPublic345 I’m remarried for 4 years. 😂
I’m so glad for you to talk about WOMEN being deprived from sex, attention, desire, etc., unfortunately most men believe it is women who don’t want sex but that’s not exclusive to them. I’m 64 and I’m one of them, married but alone.
Me too…feel SO alone (as if it’s killing me)
Do you initiate?
It’s such a lonely place so horrible. Leave and find yourself.
I will never again get married just to be alone.
Just go to local bat and get laid
Wow well said 😢
stayed for 30 years, because I made a vow to God the day I got married. A little sex early on, like first 5 months. He was a pastor, I had to keep up appearances.
Due to another issue I went to therapy. Am now happily divorced for 7 years.
Interesting.
I think Christians do not interpret the concept of adultery correctly. The duties of a man and a woman are clearly written down in the Bible and sex is included. I think if somebody breaches those wedding vows - including abandonment and sexlessness - he commits adultery - and hence divorce is justified. I am happy for you that you have taken the courage and left. I wish you a good man!
I am so incredibly grateful for this video...the sheer level of emotional "abuse" I am suffering from has been so isolating and destructive to my self-esteem...I feel I will never recover from the past 10+ years of rejection.
I'm sad that you have been enduring such pain because of your spouse. Your partner betrayal trauma is real. It may seem hopeless because of how long it's been, but I want you to know that there is still hope and healing available for you. You can get healing and support for yourself so that you don't have to continue to go through this all by yourself.
We have therapists available that you can make an appointment with by calling our office at 719-278-3708. For community support, consider connecting with our free Married & Alone Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone
I would suggest checking out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this relates to your situation.
The Partner Betrayal Trauma book, workbook, and stepbook are great resources that were created to help validate your experience and help through the process towards healing:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-step-ebook/
You might find the Worthy series and the Why Do I Stay video download useful as well:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/worthy-video-and-workbook-download-set/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-video-download/
I waited 16 years to give sex in a married situation.
It was the most crushing , cruel part of the betrayal.
I left at 10 months.
Seeing he was twisted and cruel.
Never felt as alone as when I was with him.
Back to healthy me now.
Hoping one day to experience a true relationship.
How come you had to leave if you don’t mind me asking? I’m sorry.
thats why its best to have lots of sex before you get married
This is soooo widespread, and soooo heartbreakingly sad! So many of us--men and women both--must pray and adapt.
Thank you for this!!!! I often see and hear of men in sexless marriages, but never saw anyone acknowledge the women who are in a sexless marriage. I am now divorced 14 years and was married for 15. He is a narcissist and this is yet another part of the damage.
When he withheld, I moved into another bedroom. We lived different lives in the same house until he passed away in 2022. Yes he had a medical condition, that he refused to get help for. I have now found someone else that treats me right.
I got told to live in other bedroom and never went back. He got prostate cancer later in life. He switched off affection he had cheated overseas so he could not live with his guilt. I felt so lonely he worked to avoid me. He wouldn't take visgra so love died.
Me too
So you're spreading those legs, huh?
I was a vigin bride at 21 to a man 32. He was totally enmeshed with his mother. There were red flags in my face but I was too naive to recognize them. After 11 years of a sexless marriage I finally divorced him. I was a wild child after my divorce to fill the void in my life. I don’t recommend this route but I understand the need to feel validated. I finally did marry a man who loved me physically and emotionally. Life can be beautiful with the right person. Thank you for this video.
After such a relationship, you collect fragments of yourself. I blamed myself so much, changed myself, but in the end I realized that I am ok. I talked and talked....the wall. It exhausts you so much that you become negative towards yourself. Every woman deserves to feel love, to be wanted, but often the other side, it's easier for him to blame you than to see what he's doing.
I'm a passionate person and completely in love with him and now he withholds and It's breaking me down. I do blame myself that I'm not attractive enough anymore for him or that he is cheating and when I bring it up, he gets so angry at me and doesn't speak to me for days at a time. I cant stop crying when I think about his affection being taken away and he wants me to still be a happy person with him when I am devastated. I miss our connection whole heartedly. Never planned on being platonic when we used to have fire for each other and it's still a newer relationship. I don't get it.
Your desire for intimacy is valid. You are not responsible for his choice of withholding intimacy and connection. I would suggest looking up "Intimacy Anorexia" and see it this applies to your situation.
intimacyanorexia.com/
Nevertheless, your pain from this is real. If you need support, you can contact my office at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our counselors to walk with you through this.
You can also join our Married & Alone Facebook community group: facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone
You are not alone in this.
@@DrDougWeiss Thank you! I'm about ready to walk after explaining to him time and time again how I feel when I am rejected & neglected and he will not give me reasons, he only gets angry that I have emotional needs. Our relationship is all about him and I don't deserve any of this, no one does. I'm losing respect for him and I'd rather be single than cry alone about this any longer. I'm a lot stronger than he gives me credit for and feels like our relationship is just about dead and I feel dead being with him. He doesn't realize I'll go and never look back. I will miss who I fell in love with but not this character he is showing me now. Thanks for the reply! I've have it bookmarked, darlin'.
@@bebop3148 as a person who has stayed in such a relationship for too long, I can't describe to you how much it drains you, it takes away so much energy that in the end you don't know who you are. I hope you found a way out because you will breathe again
Best video I've ever heard on this subject. 😢 Thank you.
I have came across so much information about men in a sexless marriages and the effect on them. This is the first thing I came across that made me feel seen.
I'm on the other side. Zero physical intimacy. Not even holding hands. To suggest it brings a dirty look. Withdrawal, gas-lighted. I haven't met or spoke to a woman yet who has been denied, but seeing all of the comments I can see they are out there. Especially a woman who is in good shape. Baffles me.
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. If you need help or support, you can contact our office at 719-278-3708 where my team can get you scheduled with a counselor or connect with with helpful resources and groups.
You can also check out our RUclips video on how a sexless marriage affects a man here: ruclips.net/video/pHeyTsOeOLY/видео.html
Thank you for keeping your word and posting this. His IA lead to this painful mess and he blames me 100%. Spot on.
They always blame it on others. May God deliver us from that kind of manipulation.
My wife has time for everyone in her live but me. She has many friends and talks to many of them often. I have a few friends that I only see at work. I lost the relationship with my wife when we had children together. All of her energy is spent on the children and she has none left for me. I work a full time job. She has refused to get a job. I pay for everything including the expensive vacations she wants to go on. She gets very upset if I want to do a hunting or fishing trip for myself even though she has no interest in those things like she did when we were dating. I am in a sexless marriage. I sleep in a separate room on our house. When our children are grown and move out she thinks our relationship will be back to what it was, but there will be nothing left of us by then.
Withholding is cruel and controlling. Giving to another what you’ve asked for… it’s devastating.
It's reality shattering.
I know this is off the subject
However I looked more into your file online
You have a Great file playlist
Excellent taste 👌
God Bless You 🙌 🙏
Have a Great Blessed Beautiful Successful Day and Weekend
Blessings 🙌 🙌 🙌 to You on Your Journey ✡️ 🙏 ✨️ 🙌
yes it is.
I feel like im ugly my husband make me feel like this when he do this to me..i feel so so bad abaout me..i feel im not good enuff and ugly and extreme sad
It hurts
My fiancé just stopped having sex with me and we have only been together 2 years. I have never experienced something like this before in my life. I am watching this because I don’t know what to do! I have tried to initiate sex but it goes no where! I am so upset! We had a great sex life for about a year and a half now nothing! I can’t figure out if he is cheating or what is going on!
Is it true that they're some women who face such a disaster in their life!?? Men are the ones saying those things but not women
I understand that this is an incredibly frustrating experience for you and that you are in pain from the lack of intimacy. You might want to address these issues, as well as why you are accepting this behavior from him. Regarding your concerns, he could do a polygraph to determine if he is cheating, doing porn, or masturbating.
Nevertheless, if he chooses not to address the issue of the lack of intimacy, your pain will become greater over time.
If you would like to talk to a counselor or coach about this betrayal and neglect, call our office at 719 278 3708. You can get help for yourself or if he is willing, the two of you could do couples counseling to address the issues that are going on.
Additionally, you might want to explore intimacyanorexia.com to see if this situation resonates with your experiences.
I have a few RUclips videos that might provide some insight and guidance as well:
How to Fix a Sexless Marriage | Restoring Intimacy in a Marriage: ruclips.net/video/0ek7qPDH-_E/видео.html
Where Do Intimacy Issues Stem From: ruclips.net/video/z0ArqSX7ZSY/видео.html
How to Grow Intimacy in My Relationship: ruclips.net/video/afoxiJq-Jls/видео.html
Then im sorry to say I have same problem..and I think they are extreme unfaithful
And if not they make us feel like this they need to think what they make us feel
Your comments are from three months ago. Is there any change in your Situation? It's ok If you two ignore me, I just thought, If you experienced a change, maybe you found a solution I can use too.
Good topic. It took me 15 years married life to divorce my husband. He had refuse to touch me despite me begging. I finally realized he hated me plus all other behavior to show me he hated me. Not just no sex or touching allowed but horrible actions. I woke up and glad got divorced. Also discovered he was into gay men and cheated with lady at his job
That’s what I lived with my ex-husband. I have been married only once and it was not a good experience. I had to leave for my sake because he didn’t care. I was completely broken because we have 3 kids but I had to choose between staying in an unhealthy marriage or leave for my health and sanity. I went through healing, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I would love to find the right partner and build a life together, waiting on my lord’s perfect timing 🙏🏻
Beautiful sensitive dignified delivery from you.
Thankyou. Your words are salve for my soul. 9 months after the divorce.
16 months from the day i ran from the twisted short term marraige.
I have found me. And my dignity and heart again.
I was in a marriage for 35 yrs. The first 10 yrs were good. Then we had 2 children and the sexlessness began. I’m wondering if there is often a relationship between the birth of children and the start of sexlessness? I ended up gaining weight from feeling so unlovable. Food was my substitute for love and inadequacies I felt I had. Then I had weight loss surgery and still a sexless marriage. 4 yrs after losing the weight, he decided to leave me because he wanted someone with a “perfect” body. Not like he had a perfect body! Funny thing is, 11 yrs later and I have had multiple relationships and none of them made me feel less, while he has had none.
He was living in a fantasy world created by the porn videos he was addicted to.
Similar circumstances.
Life is really complicated, I've been through a rough patch in my life, living in a marriage devoid of love and intimacy. The frustration was overwhelming, the tension palpable, and the arguments were constant. As I dug deeper, I uncovered a harsh reality: my husband was having an affair. It didn't stop there-he was also battling addiction, had a terrible temper, and was a compulsive liar. The lies were about anything and everything, completely unrelated to our situation.
all sounds familiar, lies and excuses, women, private phone chats with women, but all innocent according to him, so i just let him did his own grave. I am my mans lover, and no lovey dovey necessary, just erotica and having an orgasm...he comes in handy at times, but i have the high libido and he needs to visualise every young voluptuous female out in the real world before getting turned on. My heart broke a long time ago and just use him for sex.
20 years of marriage... to be emotionally neglected...😢I had no idea
You are not alone in this. I'm sad to hear that you have been living with this neglect for so long. Please consider reaching out to our office at 719-278-3708 to get connected with a therapist so that you can get the support and healing that you deserve.
We also have a few validating resources for your situation in the form of our Married & Alone book and workbook.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-healing-exercises-ebook/
I wish i found this info years earlier. I felt so lonely and desperate looking for answers. After more than 15 years i decided to divorce. It was the hardest decision of my life. But rewarding.
I'm so glad you've address this very important topic. This feels so true for me. What I went through. Stuck legally married, he hasn't mived the divorce through the courts. And now 20 years married coming up soon and at least half of my life is behind me. Do I dare think to try again?
Yes you do
Best video I’ve seen. Nailed it. So hurt 😢
Why get married if that is how you are going to be
My wife changed immediately after our first was born. After that it’s been pretty much sexless unless we were trying fora baby. On the very rare occasions she seems hardly present in the moment. She’d much rather read a book! Sadly I’m still experiencing the same after 33 years!
Your pain from this is real. If you haven't already, you can watch the male version of this RUclips video called "How A Sexless Marriage Impacts a Man", as well as the video "Dead Bedroom After Kids" for validation and guidance on the matter.
ruclips.net/video/pHeyTsOeOLY/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/mVx-ihy_U34/видео.html
For additional reasons regarding the lack of intimacy and sex, you can check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if Intimacy Anorexia relates to what's going on in your marriage, or get the Sexless and Married DVD.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-dvd/
If you're interested in getting with a counselor who is trained in this area, you can contact 719-278-3708 and my staff can help you get started with the support and healing that you need.
Mine is different, he has low testosterone but won’t do anything about it. He finally got the shoulder cream, and stopped taking it without telling me. Said it wasn’t working. Back to square one. I’m so done. Crying every night, depressed can’t get out of bed, mind is blank and empty. Gained so much weight. I’m just so done.
Your pain from this is real. It is normal to desire intimacy in a relationship and when it is not reciprocated, it can leave the person feelings unwanted, devastated, and distressed. At this time. you may want to consider getting support for yourself so that you don't have to deal with this alone. If you need help, please consider getting in touch with one of our therapists here at Heart To Heart who will walk with you and help you find healing. Contact 719-278-3708 to get started.
You might also find validation in the Married & Alone ebook/video which addresses those who live in married and alone relationships.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-video-download/
This happened to me. I eventually left. He is selfish . ,Leave
So so much pain. We went to “ Heart to Heart” last year in September but it didn’t help us. I wish Dr. Weiss would have been our therapist.
I really wish it could’ve helped with the counselor that we got.
We are still married. I have been 13 months in severe depression. I am finally on some good prescribed medication but the trauma is there I still feel neglected. Yea I had an affair in June last year for a whole month I wanted to feel alive and loved and that is what this person gave me. It didn’t not work for many, many. Many reasons. I also wanted my family more than limerence and of course a real relationship my husband says he has betrayal trauma from the affair well so do I from being lied to all these years, saying he would get help and never dollying through and neglected time and time again. How can we heal? Can it be possible to have a new marriage with him. I feel like even though he apologizes I still don’t think he gets “ it” total “ Avoidant” and “Intimacy anorex” totally. I need my self esteem back. I used to be vibrant and passionate. My kids can see all the tears. I am fearful. Stay or go? And go where? I really ask God every day to heal us both. To help remove resentment and for a miracle to happen! Any miracles out there? Did you souse Change? Is it possible?
It's been 15 years since we had any intimacy. I have filled for divorce and he doesn't care
Can i ask your age ? I am 68 worry it is too late for me to start again.
@@briechilli4496 I'm not sure if you were talking to me but I am almost 57 years old now.
You can’t talk about it when it is received with anger.
Thank you!! Now something posted for women in a sexless marriage…
I'm so happy that we are finally being looked at.
Yeah, I see lots & lots of videos about WOMEN withholding sex in marriage; now, finally, a video on the opposite phenomenon.
I think my ex was secretly into men when I was married.
No, he will not find the solution to a medical issue, well at least for the least the first thirty years.
If it was worth trying, he would do everything he can to fix it. Ask yourself why he won't...
@@ElimEx1 My, my, what a tone. Are you aware you sound very judgmental and put out? Are you here because someone feels you aren’t showing up well in this world? They may be accurate. Because, while you are busy working out your issues on me you might not be present to the fact that there are a multitude of reasons why one partner may not be willing or able to try.
And while you have it all together so much that you are baiting strangers I doubt you have the capacity, skill, knowledge or basic empathy to be of help to anyone on this planet. So bugger off with your flaccid judgement.
@@ElimEx1Oh, poor little narc, lost his supply, oh, awe, sad, oh, soooooooo, sad. Trying to imply I am less than only indicates that you are extremely insecure and not brave enough to grow in any way. It is truly sad.
You do know no one wants to sleep with you because of your personality.
Very shitty of you to be seeking supply by insulting strangers over the internet can be dangerous………..
@@ElimEx1 How does it feel in your body when you attempt to shame a stranger to improve your mood? Is it pride? Or are you aware of how weak and pathetic you sound?
@@ElimEx1, exactly
The red flags was there but I chose to ignore them 😔
She has chosen to be sexless - and it's killing me, literally.
Great video
Thanks!
Not necessarily. My need is completely physical. Think it has to do with love languages
Very interesting video. I appreciate people bringing light to dark subjects. I’ve got an amazing sex life and wonderful marriage, my husband and I never had to deal with any of these issues.
I just wanted to say that the ball bounces in both directions. Many men have to deal with the same sexual starvation in their relationships.
There is a couple that I am friends with who only had sex less than a dozen times the first 20 years of their marriage. The poor man was sexually trampled by a very beautiful woman who was a total prude. I am happy to say that I was able to engage in a deep and meaningful discussion with her and completely opened her eyes. I helped her realize her sexual potential, her needs and her deep misunderstanding about the purpose of sex and sexual intimacy. I also helped her receive proper professional sexual counseling. For the past two years, she and her hubby have been having daily sexual interactions, she has learned to perform and receive oral sex, she enjoys a variety of sex toys and thoroughly enjoys self pleasure.
I wish there were many more success stories like hers.
I'm a guy, but I stay in my sexless marriage because I have a 7 year old son. My wife even got me to alter my body by having a vasectomy because she lied to me and said she didn't want to have sex because she didn't want to get pregnant again. After the vasectomy nothing changed. Our marriage has been sexless for more than 7 years. I don't even try with her anymore, I just cheat on her all the time now. But without cheating, I would have left a long time ago. When my son turns 16 I plan on leaving, if we even last that long.
I am married 27 years and haven’t had sex since 2014.
I have a video called "Sexless and Married" that explores several of the top reasons why people are sexless in their marriages. You can also check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if Intimacy Anorexia applies to your situation.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-video-download/
Nevertheless, your desire for intimacy is normal, and if you need support, you can get connected with one of our trained therapists from our office at 719-278-3708.
Thank you ❤
My ex was like this. It caused me to have sexual dysfunction depression very low self esteem. I divorced him in 2008 and the trauma is still in the back of my mind even though I had partners that desired me and wanted sex from me.
I'm sorry that you are still experiencing this trauma from your past relationship. If you want help in healing and moving forward, please contact my office at 719-278-3708 and my team can get you set up with a therapist certified in partner betrayal trauma.
You can also check out the Partner Betrayal Trauma book and workbook, which would be beneficial in validating what you have gone through and work through it.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook-ebook/
I'm not rejecting him not going to chase him online or offline though. Not long-distance. I can not have a sexless relationship!!!
Just to be like husband & wife offline as well. With that kind of energy wanting to jump each other's bones
It is my choice to be asexual because of infidelity on his end neglect abuse on every platform 24years late I simply wish to walk away
Goes both ways
I am trying to learn a different language. “Connect”, for example. Have you ever “connected” with a ball buster in a meaningful way? Most likely no. You may have screwed her. There may have been “connect”. Only that and nothing more.
Thanks!
yup.
Sexlessness is like not eating? Jesus Christ, a responsible person goes for at least eighteen YEARS without sex, and they turn out fine.
I think some men, including myself, tend to see their wives as to beautiful to have sex with because we see sex as a blatant violation of that person.
I wonder how the women feel about that. A woman wants to be wanted not viewed.
Hmm, I wonder why you view it that way? Maybe it is time to speak to a therapist to help you see it as a beautiful, sacred, loving connection between two souls.
No, my wife doesnt have a p0rn or mstrbting issue.
We just... dont. We dont kiss, barely hold hands, we sleep in same bed. I tell her shes beautiful and i initiate 99% of the time.
Oh, im also a woman. Weve been married 3 years. I can count on ONE hand how many times weve done anything this YEAR.
In case you're wondering, she and i are both attractive, healthy...shes the "guy" one. Im the "femme"
She just doesnt flirt with me. She doesnt check me out if i wear a lowcut top.
Ive told her... still nothing.
Our marriage is otherwise amazing…
Try a man.
@Billy-the-Kid
Usually men end up saying things so incredibly stupid, I swear I'm grateful I don't have to deal with it.
If it's between dealing with a frigid wife and an idiot ill take wife all day.
What you are describing is a VERY common issue - Lookup "Lesbian Bed Death".
You touch my broken heart with this video. It makes me cry because I'm living this kind of life for about 5 years. It's really painful. I'm dealing with depression and anxiety. If I wasn't a mother, I would kill myself😢. I'm a walking dead.
I'm sad to hear that this has impacted you so deeply. Living in a marriage without intimacy or sex can feel incredibly lonely and isolating. It sounds like you're carrying a heavy emotional burden right now. Know that your feelings are valid, and it's important to take care of yourself, especially when dealing with depression and anxiety.
Please don't go through this alone. I encourage you to reach out for support, whether through meeting with a doctor, starting counseling, or having a supportive community alongside you. If you're interested, consider reaching out to Heart To Heart Counseling office at 719-278-3708. Our therapists here specialize in helping those who feel alone and betrayed in their marriages and they will compassionately walk with you through this toward healing. You can also join our Married & Alone phone or Facebook group.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone
You might also find the Married & Alone ebook/video download and workbook helpful for validation and guidance in this situation as well.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-video-download/
Please don't hesitate to seek help-you deserve to find peace and joy in life.
@@DrDougWeiss 🙏I appreciate you. It's really heartwarming. 😔🌹
Why be evil to youre spouse?let her go let her go not play mind games you ruin life😢
I don't know why a woman wouldn't want to be intimate with her husband but if she has a sexless marriage, she won't be married for long because he will go elsewhere.
I have the advice help you need.
I’m def going through this
Does it apply to gay communities ?
“How a Sexless marriage impacts a man” problem = men are watching pornography and the cause of the issues
“How a Sexless marriage impacts a woman” problem = problem = men are watching pornography and the cause of the issues….
Yeah no, men are watching because their wives aren't there to meet their needs
Funny but fact
Amen and amen!!!
@@gracemartin8525 actually I’m making fun at how this is presented in the last two videos. It’s not always the man’s fault, believe it or not. And it’s terrible that it’s the conclusion in both videos alleged to be from differing perspectives
Porn is a huge problem. Huge. Big! As Julia Roberts would say in Pretty Woman.
My husband allows people to zap my energy while I'm homeless
IN TODAY'S WORLD NEVER GET MARRIED ESPECIALLY TO PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY ARE CHRISTIANITY
Are we really discussing this in the year 2024?
Go find someone else!
Horrible crushed my soul
Cash flow
Better to realize where human came from instead of imagining small problems.
I wish u had a office in Pittsburgh 😢
We have phone and virtual counseling available if you are interested, as well as many certified therapists across the U.S. You can call us at 719-278-3708 or visit: aasat.org/find-therapist/ to see if there is someone in your area or nearby.
Male Here
Interesting Information
Sounds like narcissistic to me
Can go both ways
Man does it to a woman
Woman does it to a man
Stop complaining about stupid things🤦 Be grateful that you are healthy and alive. No such thing is called permanent relationship or marriage. Check your local court to see how many people file divorce.
This is spot on. 🧎🏾♀️🙌🏽
My husband zaps all my energy and buys other wo.en nice things while I'm homeless
Intimacy aerexia
What women do you know? My wife has NO interest or hasn't wanted any kind of intimacy for years!
Too bad for her!
I love sex and my husband won’t touch me!!!!! I’m attractive sexual, etc… this video is accurate for me as a woman!
Truly I feel for you! It is extremely difficult and painful and frustrating and just miserable without intimacy, touch, sex, love making, fu*king etc…
I’ve literally cried bawled begged pleaded for any kind of touch from my husband! It’s devastating and heartbreaking
Just to be ignored or put down or blamed for HIS lack!
Sorry. Got lots of pint up frustration!!
It’s trauma when a woman denies man sex too then
Everything is always on the woman’s side
If a man wants sex and his partner doesn’t she makes him feel like a sex pest
What’s the difference 🤷♂️
You are correct in that it can be traumatic when a man is denied sex frequently by his wife. If you're interested, you can watch the "How A Sexless Marriage Impacts A Man" RUclips video that explores when the man is in this position: ruclips.net/video/pHeyTsOeOLY/видео.html
@@DrDougWeiss Thankyou
Guy knows how to make money off of vulnerable women
Sex is not important I need cash
Your attitude fits a lot of women, you want security but don't care about what he wants.
Why not need both?
It's a bot...
I spend hours with Jesus until I'm satisfied
Wow, I need to do that 😂
How?
Please not another video blaming the man. Most sexless marriages its the wife that shut it down. The man is trying to figure out how to save his marriage.
It's your fault, george. It's time to own it.
Well it’s a 2 way street. It affects men and women and the majority of videos are about men not getting it so grin and bear the video or move along. Your post is so selfish I wouldn’t want to have sex with you either. Women don’t want whiners. Now that’s a turn off.
Well I guess you can whine like an immature baby or find another video. It’s an issue for men and women and most videos are geared for the man.
Most not all
A large number of the times, women should look in the mirror to discover why their husbands have given up on their intimacy and want nothing to do with it. Stop projecting your issues on your partner and own up to them (that goes for both partners).
And if you think it's not you, then talk to him about opening up the relationship. Works wonder for a lot of people.
Male Here
Thank You for Sharing
I totally agree 👍 👌
It goes both ways
I know of situations on both sides of the fence, so to speak
Women can be toxic, caustic, mechanical, and other things which deflate a man's intimate desire.
Must look at both sides.
I need cash flow cash flow
99 percent of the time its the women holding back sex !
What a bunch of BS
Most people that been in long-term relationships are looking for novelty. When you’ve been in a relationship for 10 years the bedroom gets really really boring to the point with a couple are not having sex. That’s where we get the seven year itch this is BS
This guy is just so one sideed!
I think s*x in a relationship is really important but so is caring about my feelings too !
And Thankyou for this good, interesting and helpful video.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️