The fear of going crazy - my journey with psychosis OCD/dementophobia
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- Hello! We sit down to film our first video, discussing Hattie’s schizophrenia OCD and psychosis OCD/dementaphobia .
We move through sound obsession, obsessive paranoid thoughts and the common misconceptions around this pure ocd subtype.
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Sending so much love to you if you’re dealing with this xx
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Anxiety latches onto your rational thinking. It’s hell.
This is probably the best explanation of the nuance of ocd thinking
I'm Victor from Spain, I'm 20 years old and since I was little I have anxiety, I used to give myself in class, in restaurants, in a cinema to give some examples... well the case, it's been 2 years since I've been in this hell, on May 9, 2022 I woke up having thoughts that in my life had had of the content of hurting me, I remember that the day before I went to sleep I read a story about a boy who took his life, logic tells me that could be a possible trigger, at first I got scared because I didn't want to do that I don't even want to and I didn't know what was happening to me, I had a lot of anxiety, my chest hurt, I was short of breath, I was terrible... in the middle of that hell I thought, well, this will be a bad day and tomorrow I'll be fine, because the days were going by and it was still the same, even from the fear I had I slept even with my mother imagine... a few days after this, being in my room I missed this thought that I remember perfectly. What if I kill my mother? If after the thoughts of hurting myself it was already wrong imagine after that went through my head... literal that I couldn't even see my mother was terrible, if before I had anxiety because after thinking that I had twice as much... investigating Google I found content about intrusive thoughts and such, at that moment reading about the subject I found a phrase that helped me at that moment (you are not your thoughts) and that I literally eliminated the physical symptoms I had despite the fact that those thoughts were still there. A few days after this I went to the psychiatrist to tell him just what I am telling in this message and he told me about impulsion phobias, I went home and a few days after this in the news of Antena 3 channel the typical ones that give at night well, they talked about a news of a boy with schizophrenia and well what happened to me is that I literally was in shock, I didn't sleep that night, literally when I heard that it was like, I have this. I started looking for symptoms throughout the summer and a few more months, in total 4/5 in a row day by day by Google, on RUclips videos of people with schizophrenia, videos about psychotic outbreaks, because from there I'm wrong no, the following. I literally began to be aware of the sounds and for example I was watching a video on RUclips of whatever it is and if I listened to something that could be outside of that video, I went back the video to see if I listened to it again, that was an example of what I did, I was aware of what I saw or if I saw things out of the ordinary, sometimes out of the corner of my eye like that I see it as a flash and I scratch that you freak out in case it's a hallucination, I also read about delusions and paranoias and to give an example, read that These people think that they want to kill them and that from there I have thoughts of that kind, although I know that they are a lie, I don't know if after everything I'm telling you're finding out what's happening to me or if maybe in your consultation you've had cases of this kind, because in Spanish I've barely found information as if I've found it in English and they relate it to OCD, but literally that sometimes I doubt that this could be OCD, this seems something serious I'm afraid it's psychosis or schizophrenia I'm shit I need help, it seems that I am delirious sometimes, although I repeat I know that certain thoughts are not logical... I think that reading symptoms has fucked my head because in my life I have had these thoughts and I think I am very suggested.
Wanted to drop by and say that I’m currently going through an OCD flare up. I was diagnosed with OCD senior year of college and currently 27. It’s been 5-6 years but this theme still hits me every couple of months.
It’s tough, and I experienced it very similarly to you. Started with obsessing about sounds and hallucinating, then obsessing about delusional thoughts, then dpdr/existentialism, to eventually fear of early onset dementia and losing my mental faculties.
It sucks and funny thing, the only reason I had these worries is because I read about these online. I sometimes wonder if I never read about this stuff, would I even be experiencing these ocd symptoms (probably yes but about other stuff like cancer).
I’m glad you’re bringing awareness to this because it’s such a common theme but I feel like not a lot of people talk specifically about it. And I’m glad I stumbled across this because it’s a reminder to just not engage with the thoughts and move on with life! Good luck, we got this!
Also after watching the full video, the hardest part is to accept that you “just have OCD.” It’s almost as if you’re telling yourself “if I’m feeling anxiety about these intrusive thoughts, the delusional ones, etc it must mean some part of me believes in them.” It’s tough!
Same, reading the phrase "prodromal phase of schizophrenia" after a massive bout of anxiety really messed me up.
any advice on how to manage this theme. every sound I am so hyper aware of :( it makes me super anxious
@@JangoBango18hello, help pls
I am Spanish and therefore my entire message will be written by a translator. I hope you can understand me.
I am Víctor from Spain, I am 20 years old and I have had anxiety since I was little, it used to occur in class, in restaurants, in a movie theater to give some examples... well the fact is, I have been in this hell for 2 years, on May 9, 2022 I I woke up having thoughts that in my life I had had about harming myself, I remember that the day before before going to sleep I read a news story about a boy who took his own life, logic tells me that this could have been a possible trigger, I at the same time At first I was scared because I didn't want to do that nor do I want to and I didn't know what was happening to me, I had a lot of anxiety, my chest hurt, I was short of breath, I felt terrible... in the middle of that hell I thought, well, this is going to be a bad day and Tomorrow I will be fine, because the days went by and it was still the same, even because of the fear I had, I even slept with my mother, imagine... a few days after this, while I was in my room, this thought occurred to me, which I remember perfectly. What if I kill my mother? If after the thoughts of hurting myself I was already bad, imagine after that crossed my mind... literally, I couldn't even see my mother, it was terrible, if before I had anxiety, then after thinking that I had twice as much... investigating why Google I found content about intrusive thoughts and such, at that time while reading about the subject I came across a phrase that helped me at that moment (you are not your thoughts) and that literally eliminated the physical symptoms that I had even though those thoughts were still there. A few days after this I went to the psychiatrist to tell him exactly what I am telling in this message and he told me about impulsive phobias, I went home and a few days after this the typical news that they give at night was on Antena 3's news. Well, well, they talked about a news story about a boy with schizophrenia and what happened to me is that I was literally in shock, I hardly slept that night, literally when I heard that I was like, I have this. I started looking for symptoms throughout the summer and a few more months, in total 4/5 months followed day by day on Google, on RUclips videos of people with schizophrenia, videos about psychotic breaks, about other mental disorders and well from there I am not bad, the following. I literally began to pay attention to sounds and for example I was watching a RUclips video of whatever and if I heard something that could be outside of that video, I would rewind the video to see if I heard it again, that was an example of what What I did and sometimes I continued doing it, I was aware of what I saw or if I saw things out of the ordinary, sometimes out of the corner of my eye I see like a flash and I wonder if you are freaking out in case it is a hallucination, I also read about delusions and paranoia and to give an example, reading that these people think they want to kill them and from then on I have thoughts of that style, "paranoid" thoughts even though I know they are a lie, I don't know if after everything I'm saying Are you finding out what is happening to me or if perhaps in your consultation you have had cases of this style, because in Spanish I have barely found information as if I have found it in English and they relate it to OCD called OCD Going Crazy, but literally that Sometimes I doubt that this could be OCD, this seems serious, I'm afraid it's psychosis or schizophrenia, I'm shit, I need help, it seems like I'm delirious at times, although I repeat, I know that certain thoughts don't make sense... I think that reading symptoms has messed with my head because in my life I have had these thoughts and I think I am very suggestive. 3 psychiatrists tell me that they are impulsive phobias but come on, sometimes it seems like he's really crazy.
This is my EXACT experience, except I am a mother so everything centers around them - which makes the stakes and fear even higher 😢
This helped me so much, im struggling and i feel lonely
I swear i have this exact ocd theme my brain is trying so hard to make me give in and reassure myself i am ok and i am trying to not do any reassurance because once i start the doubts will get even stronger and i will be stuck in the ocd loop again.
Yay bravo for trying something new! (Love the new stickers btw 🥳)
Yay! Thank you! So grateful for your support xx
hello,,
I suffer from schizophrenia OCD theme/ lose of control and since August I've noticed I heard chatter in the fan and I searched it up and its called audio pareidolia and with white noise I can hear it and its worse when I pay attention too it and it makes me so anxious to the point I think i'm actually going crazy. I mentioned this to my therapist and she mentioned that people with this fear are so hyperaware of the sounds because we are in a heightened state and we are constantly looking for problems or "Signs" that we might go crazy, which I do. Have you ever dealt with that with this theme or just hyper aware of EVERYSOUND? Any advice on how to get over this theme, ive hard other ocd themes but this was is so hard and it feels so real and scary. Any advice helps
The best way is to hear the sound, repeat it in your head, but don't attach "these sound like voices" interpretation to the sound - just hear the sound for what is is.
thanks do you struggle with this theme as well @@Daniel-ih4zh