I have been married for 13 years and this is the wisest marriage advice I have heard..."presenting your perspective with respect and let your partner reflect on it. If they truly love you they will take it into high consideration and self correct; and also bear in mind you may not always be right".
Look I've been married for 15 years. And like I said in my comment I would never correct my husband in public. For one it depends on what he's wrong about. But if he's wrong he's wrong. I'mma pull him to the side though and I'm not going to let him sound like an idiot. Cuz that's a good wife. I'm not going to let my husband sound like no dumbass. That's my best friend that's my ride or die. But you can fancy it in any term you want to put it. Oh I'm letting him see it from my perspective. No you're not You're correcting him that's what the hell you're doing. You can say however you want when you get down to it you're correcting him. She's newly married you can see it, there's nothing wrong with that. But at the same time the views you have when you first get with somebody they don't stay the way that they are in the beginning as versus when you're 15 almost 20 years down the road. You have a version of the same views. But if you make it as long as 15-20 years you learn a few things. And one of those is if somebody is wrong sometimes you got to let them know the right way to go about it. And there's nothing wrong with that. Another way some people go about that is a little much. But it depends on the type of person you're with too you know what I'm saying? But to say oh I'm just letting him hear it from my perspective no you're not. You're correcting him when it gets down to it that's exactly what you're doing You're correcting him. If you want to let your husband sound like a dumbass because you are too scared to speak up and be like and pull them to the side and be like hey baby this is the way it said or hey that's what this means or hey that's not actually how that goes. Then you're not a good wife. He should do the same for you. Did you ain't about the let your husband sound like a complete idiot bro you know what I mean? Baby trying to fancy it up like they're a good wife and oh I sit and talk and listen to my husband and oh we sit and talk and resolve our problems. Oh I defer to my husband. Yeah okay. Sure you do. If that's the way you want to do your your thing and that's that's how you want to tell everybody you're doing it good for you. But I promise you that's not how it's going behind closed doors. And if it is it's cuz she's with a dude that don't let her do shit anyway. Cuz a partnership is what you should have in a marriage That's 50/50. Should nobody be deferring to anyone. You should make decisions together jointly. Because if one person is making all the major decisions You're a dependent. You're not independent you're a dependent. And that's a problem because if you have children that's how he's seeing you he's seeing you as something else he's got to take care of, you're not allowed to speak your mind You're not allowed to have an opinion You're not allowed to let him know that he was wrong. That marriage ain't going to last long That's what I'm telling you. So y'all ain't here talking about amen this and amen that. That's not the kind of marriage that nobody should strive for. Being a freaking doormat not being a partner. Not being independent being a dependent. That's basically what she's saying. But yeah go go ahead and say Amen to that
@@In_ThIs_SAD_Dark_Reality there is a difference between, "You were wrong! Just admit it for goodness sake!! How could you do that, how can you say that, how can you even think a thing like that..." ...and... " hey babe concerning so and so I have been thinking about it, don't you think this might be a better way to it...I was hoping we could use this approach if you...." Big difference, both statements are trying to correct, but the manner and tone of approach is what makes the difference between a woman that constantly tears her husband down and the one that builds him up. So I think that's basically what she wass trying to say in the video...I love your point too, it's very true.
Yeah that's what I meant . Definitely you shouldn't be talking to your spouse like they're a child . There's a right way and a wrong way to correct anybody . You don't have the right to belittle somebody just because you're right and they're not . So I definitely understand what you're saying to you also made a really good point @@Light_to_the_Nations
@@rummanamoledina4973maybe because they don't put the same negative connotations on it that women do. It doesn't mean that boys acting like men don't weaponize the word. But he is trying to explain what the healthy version of this looks like, sounds like, and has the potential to feel like. This way, you can discern if the individual requesting your submission has your best interest at heart.
@@pumpkin.spiced oh really ... I would love to see these guys accepting when their employers tell them to submit after all they probably have their best at heart ❤
I find it funny that we women always think negatively when men are just trying to be heard!! For all you Christian bible toting women, doesn't the bible discuss submission to your husband???🤔 it doesn't mean slavery or disrespect! It means honor, and submit to his leadership!!
Not treat. She said talk to him. You let children learn thru trial and error not grown men. Thats treating him like an adult. Self correct? Wtf. There is no submission in her statement
How is giving your man correction, talking to him like a child or disrespectful? I should be able to correct him just like he's able to correct me, with respect and honor to better our marriage.
First, stop acting like we all know what healthy relationships look like. Its irksome when people say “you chose him like that alleviates the other of all responsibility for their actions. People grow, change and LIE! Secondly, I hope some impressionable person doesn’t see this short and take it as fact without context. It sounds pretty (to the men), but is missing a few key things. Just as she “learned” not to correct her husband because she married a MAN he would need to learn to value her opinion when making decisions that affect the family. He would also have to be humble enough to admit his faults while actively pursuing true growth and manhood as this is one of the signs of growth in a person.Ladies don’t let anyone tell you to put your lives in the hands of an utter fool when he hasn’t proven he is ready for the responsibility. The submission is to EACH OTHER in different ways.
@@cfigueroa2011 I agree with everything you've stated up until the "submission" part. I'm not sure that I understand how or why someone should "submit" to someone based on the genitalia they were given at birth. Especially when those that they are expected to submit to come from the very parts that are somehow beneath them in some way. I'll take a PARTNER. One who thinks as much of me, as I them. One who bows to me, as I bow to them. Nature gives BALANCE and understanding that balance, you understand that while men are PHYSICALLY superior? It is because we are MENTALLY superior. It's been PROVEN that women fair far better in leadership positions and roles than their male counterparts. That we're more inclined with an ability to connect emotionally, empathize, sympathize and have more compassion in order to be considerate of everyone and make whatever decisions are best for the group or unit as a whole. None is above me. ESPECIALLY, anyone who's entire half of the species has cultivated a reputation throughout history for things like praising and comparing each other's dick sizes and daring one another to see who can be the first to jump off the roof of their house and break their back. No ma'am.
She said...she had to learn this! This is very important to hear. Thier relationship was strong enough for them both to grow as individuals and then as partners 🥰most beautiful!
Lmboo..Please even if she said she had to learn. By your comment you don't agree what she actually said. You just heard she had to LEARN. When half you use the learn part will take that as a long forever after maybe 20 years then you want to turn on the light bulb to do what she said
That is the most important part of this video, letting others know that one can learn and one should be given the space and time to learn. It does not happen automatically.
exactly, respect. Perspective is correction though, it's just the way you go about having conversation but have to correct your partner if they are doing something wrong it is called accountability to each other.
Thank you so much Sir, Submitting and Respect comes from a Man playing his God given role.. So hard submitting to a person who dont respect you as a woman keep on doing shameful and wrong things. Otherwise we love to respect and honor our Men as women
I'm afraid that I appreciate when my wife points out where I might have fucked up so I can correct it immediately we know how to talk to each other like adults.
I agree with you. I think it is about tone of voice. When I mess up. I need to it to be vocalized because I won't know what I did wrong. It needs to be communicated how actions/ conversation should be communicated. Im definitely going to have a conversation with my partner
Yes and no, cause the issue is that no matter what is being said or how it is said, it can always be taken out of context, flipped around or made as a weapon or changed into something that really wasn't originally there in the first place.
Who said correcting had to be disrespectful. We are a unit and I’m honoring you just like you are honoring me. Which in turn honors us. You correct me & I correct you with an understanding of boundaries, respect and rational.
The Bible says, “ a fool hates correction.” There is a way to correct without disrespect and condescension. Beware of people, man or woman, who can’t hear anything critical about themselves without acting out. I also wonder what her perspectives are on all those people who bought website design packages and classes from her and never got the goods they paid for. Beware of false prophets.
When I stopped asking him to do chores, and instead told him how much it meant to me and helped me, when he helps around the house suddenly he is doing chores a lot more, and helping me with cleaning up after meals. I still do the majority, because I work less than him, but it not longer feels overwhelming.
Maybe deciding to work together with her husband rather than trying to command him on what he should or shouldn't be doing did the trick and made shit easier in their house. It's not a hard equation to figure out being a decent human being, especially to the one you chose to share your life with. Funny how most y'all seem to know what a "real" man should or shouldn't be doing considering that you aren't one.
@@michaelafrazier3387 Ok enlighten me. If the wife sees the house dirty and cleans it because she contributes to the mess why does a man need to coaxed into helping clean after himself?
Everyone makes mistakes and not everything needs to be a discussion OR a debate. As a wife with a significantly better memory than her husband my partner counts on me to catch those small mistakes and errors.
My wife is just like this. I truly didn't realize until she spoke out the words and I started to recall my wife's actions and how she interacts with me and tells me her opinions. It's always motivated me to do better and be a better man for her. Her talking to me that way actually works, as I actively work on the issues and my delibrate actions show it. Even now I falling more in love with her and I now know this isn't a norm. I'm such a lucky guy.
She still treats you like a child using her inside voice cause YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER ALREADY. The person is supposed to make your life better. Seems you didn't and working on issues. You're falling more I love and YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN LOVE TO BEGIN WITH.
@@melizzamelizza You're supposed to be a better person daily. Better than you were yesterday. That doesn't happen overnight. It's a lifelong journey. And yes, issues will arise but how you deal with them shows your depth of love. You're entitled to your opinion. I love my wife and how she treats and respects me. Hope you find something as good for yourself.
A man that will listen and correct himself is a man worth submitting too. But a man who continues his bad behaviour, doesn't respect his wife's word is not worthy of submitting too. He will lead you straight into living hell.
As a married women I agree with her because I married the RIGHT man, and clearly she married the RIGHT man for her. Unfortunately a lot of women would never get a chance to be submissive. Very difficult for women to submit to the WRONG man. 😌
The scripture says to be reverent to your husband and you submit one to another. A woman chooses the man she will respect this is where some of us mess up. We marry men we don’t respect so we are not equally yoked.
@@mrzagamaje9434 nah it don’t work like that. That man will find a woman who agrees with his lifestyle. Men don’t change. The quicker you find a man that moves in a way you as the woman like better chances the relationship works out. Some women just prefer a “bad boy”. They know what he is like, some women even think he will “change” for them, most Likely he would not. Nothing is guaranteed- it is a constant 50/50 chance the relationship will work out. As women all you have is hope that the man will continue to be the man that you want and need.
You can honor respect and submit without letting me make a mistake because im a MAN 🤔🤦🏿♂️ wtf is yall talking bout if my woman see me about to make a mistake SPEAK UP 🤔 dont let me fail hoping i correct it going forward if we cant communicate the good the bad the indifferent without me feeling like you nagging or you feeling like i dont value your opinion we shouldn't be together🤦🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️
That’s exactly what she saying…also as a husband you should have a little confidence in your ability to lead a family without making drastic crazy mistakes . I think your comment highlights that you may not be ready to be a husband and need to work on becoming a better man before you try to lead a family.
Thank-you sir you said it in a nut shell. I'd love him to much to see you making a mistake and not correct it. I been in a situation like this and had he listened to me he would have not lost over 800.00 in a scam smh. You have to be able to allow you women to lead you too. She is intuitive and she sees and feels things you can't. I tried to warn him he didn't listen and lost all that money. Then he had to ask me to come with him and read the paperwork research his rights and the laws to get him his money back. Smh 🤦♀️
Keep in mind I read the paperwork research the company and warned him they are known for scaming people. He had this attitude and still had to come back to me after falling on his face and needed my knowledge and wisdom to guide him out that situation.
This comment Section is crazy yall understand she said basically is saying there's a way to go about speaking to your man without disrespecting him as a man you "correct" him through giving him your perspective and discussing the problem at hand then letting him figure that shit out.
Yeah. You don't start arguments in public and you don't belittle him. I have seen that, and while that man who was subjected to it was honestly no good, that just showed that my relative chose the wrong person and was responsible for staying in that relationship as long as she did. And I know this because she doesn't do that with the person she is currently with. It is totally different
@@chewdoom8415 This is the problem I have with these statements! Men and women alike choose the wrong mate because you do not know the future! People do not dump someone at the first or second sign of incompatibility because growth, compromise and working together will never happen if everyone just broke up all the time! Every time a man complains about a woman's behavior in great detail "HE" has chosen wrong and procreated with the wrong woman. So nobody "including men" are choosing right partners from the start! So stop saying women are the ones choosing wrong! Because this statement alone is saying men have no responsibility to be better mates or choose correctly because as you all put it, men decide who they will be in a relationship with and women decide when sex will happen.
I think that what she said is completely understood. Yes, she is getting the corrections she wants but it is because she trust that he will make the that decision just by them talking about. Isn’t that what anyone can ask for? Have a conversation and come to a conclusion that benefits all involved
@@FaithandNova what???😱😱😱😱 Where can we find them on YT or other sites?? Would like to see with my own eyes.... I analyse her words and came to the conclusion that I do not believe her....
KEY WORD, she married a grown man. Most of these dudes these days are grown boys…so there is no self correcting, there is deflection and tantrums…like a child…there is no talking to a child
Be more attracted to grown men, rather than be seduced by dudes/grown boys. The actual men slip through y'all's fingers; the boys stick to y'all's fingers. Leave those loud/obnoxious fools to their devices. Real men are out there in in the trenches, in big numbers, with jobs, assets, wisdom, and self-respect. But you guys look beyond them as they often forego seducing you with flash/material BS, while building and conserving wealth.
I don't want someone that is easily offended by being corrected. Pride and ego causes the issues. We should be able to correct and protect our partner from making mistakes. Your tone, body language and words should be respectful when correcting anyone.
No I think that you should reflect on that and realize that being easily offended by being corrected is actually just being offended that the person that is speaking to you is talking down to you and disregarding everything to simply be right over you. If you really listen to this video you would know that she does "correct" her husband but not in a sanctimonious and know it all way that nobody likes to hear and not because of Pride or ego. In fact, it's pride and ego that are the reasons that people flat out correct others in the way that you're thinking.
@@shj7346 If you read my comment correctly, you'd see tone, body language and words makes a difference (respectful). Pride or ego should never be the reason for correction. Obviously that's not what I'm thinking. Some people are easily offended. We use the term easily because people have triggers. When listening with offensive ears instead of understanding. It has nothing to do with what someone is saying. That's a personal problem in itself. Some people get upset because of difference of opinion.
Been married for 17yrs now, I believe women can and should correct their husbands when needed. Sometimes men don't realize mistakes they make and if not corrected, its most likely to happen again. If a woman just sits back and not say anything, resentment may build up.
Telling a grown man you want to correct your husband. Maybe you should check out the definition of HUSBAND. Men would rather have conversations with you that sitting for you to come and correct your lord. Conversation helps you to understand the reason for his action. .........
I think was she was referring to how a lot of women often end up treating their husbands like you would a kid versus what he is, an adult who she married. Reading your comment I get the impression you wife doesn't treat you like a kid that needs to be told what to do and not to do.
She actually does "correct" him but not in a corrective way 😂. I think that's how to work with any adult unlike how's it's told women to train their husbands, maybe those ones never got the training at the right time.
Y’all saying she’s submissive but lol what? They’re simply treating each other with respect and BOTH taking each other into priority. She mentioned that. This isn’t one way. She didn’t marry just any man
You act like saying submit to black women is acceptable. Black women hear submit and think slave and domination. She is showing actually what it is. It's trusting in your man to lead and make the decisions for the family that are best for the family. Men are stepping up major, but there are a lot of boys out here that don't know how to respect our beautiful black women.
Yes, she's submissive not subjugated! That's why she's married and STILL MARRIED...a lot of women will be happier and secure and content if they learn from other women like this beautiful lady.
“only a fool despises correction” - King Solomon, Proverbs 15:5 Edit; Ezekiel 3:18. If you see someone doing something wrong and you don’t speak up or warn them, their sins are on your hands as well. And God holds you accountable.
In my younger years, the qualities I looked for in a woman were largely physical but also I wanted a woman that had similar interests. Now in my early 40’s, I feel the most attractive and desirable quality a woman can have is to be peaceable. Able to maturely and calmly communicate even when we disagree. And to be my peace in a world filled with chaos.
I’m in my early 30s and I was the same way in my 20s I used to date men off of how they looked but now I love a man who can bring me peace comfort with good communication
well "you" chose the kid. She was not that blind. When you choose a kid you get treated that way. If you want respect get a grown man bounce the kid period
Not our fault u mess with goofies how bout give the ppl a chance that u don’t want to give a chance instead of messing with the guys all the females mess with
She’s absolutely right, love it. Also as a marriage coach I have come to know that not all men are the same in terms of strength and wisdom. Some grown men still need some suggestions and be put through, it doesn’t make them less of a man as long as you are able to communicate respectfully and see it as an opportunity to lift him, If he needs corrections sometimes and waiting on your suggestion, don’t hesitate, he trusts you. There may be days your partner feels weak to lead, stand up for him ❤
How do you handle a situation like this? If he is not helping or doing something in the wrong way how do I suggest that he does it the right way or how do I communicate to him that I need help without sounding like his mother
The statement 'submitting to one another' that you're referring to was in context of children of God that have fellowship in the church and is not in the context of marriage. Ephesians 5 v15-21 read it You're misconstruing the truth with a narrative that you want to impose incorrectly. In any case to submit means to serve and husbands and wives do submit to one another,it's just in different ways. Husbands serve thier wives by providing,protect,respecting...and the list goes on Wives are to serve through thier natural feminine traits e.g. cook,clean,caring etc Gender equality has got to do with valuing both femininity in women and masculinity in men.To uplift one doesn't mean we should vilify the other.
@@imadekingley8994 The Bible literally says “Husband and wives, SUMBIT ye one to another” and it’s literally written in the original comment so wth are you talking about!?! Also, submission is also implied in the Bible verse you just shared! To love a person IS to submit to them! 🤦🏾♀️😂
Yep, I caught that, "married a grown man"; let's be fair some of these chicks are dating pookie and ray ray, wanna be tough in the streets. But have no relationship or home leadership. So, yes, they do have to remind them to help pay bills, get a job, bail them out of jail every weekend, take bath,. Handle household business. That toxic fussing and yelling and talking crazy to one another. Them these chicks will say where are the men or I want a man who can be a leader. That's because they have not found a Grown azz Maine..they deal with a little all their life. They actually scared of grown men, because we Desiree grown azz women.
When black women give their perspective, black men take it as attitude. I guess as long as it is coming from a black man's preference it's not attitude.
@@orlandowillis807 your response made my eyes water 😿👏👏...you cant do the whole "l trust he's gonna do the right thing...correct himself and what not" with EVERY dude..that's suicide.
I love her! What a beautiful blessing she is to her husband. When she says " I love him so much!" I can just feel her love for her husband. Who is this lady? Wow God bless her!!!
There is nothing wrong with correcting each other as a merry couple and two adults. Sometimes the man does need some correction. If he is doing the right thing then he doesn’t need correction. But we all need correction.
@@sophiao5855 of course she is. Even the Bible explains we all need correction. Just paying bills and acting like a man isn’t going to make you a perfect person.
@@feleciabroderick-knight2700 well let her do what she do and you do the same instead of trying to so negative, can easily tell that if you have a man..he ain't happy.
Period !!! What is the big deal about a women having an opinion and sharing with her husband !?!? I understand being docile and allowing a man to be a man but damn… a man just cannot be corrected AT ALL. !?? Why would I want for you to move forward in making a bad decision if I can stop you from doing so. This page be all over the place sometimes to me.
@@monotoniaesunasesinolento yeah I agree , tone is really it. I think we are all capable of receiving information as long as the person delivering is careful how they do it
Thank you for this much needed, practical example of submission. Many women act like they are signing up to be chained to the house, with daily beatings, and lord knows what else.
No man is the same that's how she chooses to communicate with her husband. His actions must give her peace of being an adult. It's a blessing to have that. Bless you both.
Sometimes we are literally incapable of seeing our own faults unless someone else points them out. That my woman cannot correct me when I'm about to/or do mess up is mind blowing. Marriage is a partnership. This is not how I perceive submission. We should be able to have civil conversations around mistakes and learn from them so as not to repeat them. I can't think of any scenario where this is healthy. But oh well, to each his/her own!
I knooooow..this is not even submitting, I doubt she knows the meaning of that word. If i'm making any major changes in my life, i usually pass it through my Mum, Sister & husband. These 3 people have my best interest at heart, they give the best advises & i like how they stop me before i'm about to make any haste decisions to think about it first.
My mom thought the same way, then they lost 60,000 because my dad chose all the wrong things and he never allowed my mom to put her input. They lost the house they both busted their asses to obtain, she moved to the smaller house with him, never rubbing it in his face but it killed her. She then later told him not to get into any business with her family, because she said no. Her family is a messy basket case, we all know this. First thing he did was hire my moms nephew. She lost her shit. For more than 30 years she did this kind of submitting. And best believe that when she chose to stay in Mexico and live her best life without my dad dragging her down, he changed his mind. But nah boo. You get what you give me.
@@reneam3787 yes, and I’m Christian, but No one down here is perfect, and one can try to love the way Christ does, but you would have to first know God, love God , and not many men do. My dad thinks he does but doesn’t. And even when you do know God, and are in relationship the devil gets in the way. I get that both should love each other, I do, but in this world I don’t know what to think
We've been led to believe women aren't capable of running a household and making financial decisions. They do infact do it best. I don't like losing so yiu bet I'm going to put my input
Wives, obey your own husbands. Some of your husbands may not obey the Word of God. By obeying your husbands, they may become Christians by the life you live without you saying anything. 2 They will see how you love God and how your lives are pure. 3 Do not let your beauty come from the outside. It should not be the way you comb your hair or the wearing of gold or the wearing of fine clothes. 4 Your beauty should come from the inside. It should come from the heart. This is the kind that lasts. Your beauty should be a gentle and quiet spirit. In God’s sight this is of great worth and no amount of money can buy it. 5 This was the kind of beauty seen in the holy women who lived many years ago. They put their hope in God. They also obeyed their husbands. 6 Sarah obeyed her husband Abraham. She respected him as the head of the house. You are her children if you do what is right and do not have fear. (1 Peter 3:1-6 NIV)
This is a woman who became a wife before she got married..... This is a woman who was trained by an elderly woman.... She has deep wisdom.... God bless you Ma
I believe we are almost saying the same thing sir.. .... I don't know her in person.... I can only perceive that someone must have trained her well and that person should be older than her.... My thought is drawn from the scripture you cited and the one below... Older women similarly are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine, teaching what is right and good, so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children, to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:3-5 AMP
All men are real men. As a help meet, you can make your man become a better man, by giving him your perspective on things and suggestions. Remember women were created to be a help meet to their husbands. If you don't trust your mans decisions and he makes the wrong ones all the time, did he get your perspective? If he does make bad decisions after you gave him your perspective then y'all can talk it out to get him on track if he fights that its a maturity problem.
@@corneliusa.d.3302 if he fight you then he is not a man. A woman’s presence shouldn’t help you become fleshed out ; you should’ve been some what competent before. A woman help you see a different perspective only if you allow it. She’s not a side character to your story.
I think that means you don’t trust that man is a man. When that happens, the solution is not to fix that man, but to fix the trusting relationship you have with that man.
@@marencruickshank find a man you will willfully submit to, that is the only befitting dynamics that can exist between a man and a woman. The modern narrative of male-female equality in a relationship is not a natural state for both genders. Deep insider her, the woman just want a man who can be in charge, who she can trust his judgment and willingly exercise her feminine submissive traits to. While a man wants a woman who will look up to him as her king, who will honor him and adore him so he can feel like a man. This is in addition to first being decent human beings That is the natural order and no matter how convincing a woke idea is, they will always ys be a smoke screen
Seems like there is so much coddling to have a husband. There are a BILLION rules and tips for women to follow, only for her to end up tired, lonely, and miserable. They hide it at first, but the misery takes over and it becomes OBVIOUS that most of those wives are miserable and feel alone and used.
Sounds like you are the lonely one who gave your all to the wrong man and now you have a bad taste in your mouth for anyone and anything that gives a better perspective than you had. Poor lil tink tink
@@daughterofthemosthighking5095 that is what we have been told we want a career and family... we were told the other option was slacking and unproductive and instead of learning how to keep and multiply his fruits we chose a career path. Stay at home wife/mother is the hardest 24/7/365 unpaid job there is when you are not sub contracting out your work.
That’s a negative! I live by the same method with my husband and our marriage though not perfect it changed for the best after I learned and adapted this. And I’m also married to a grown man who loves, protects, and respects me. The only women are miserable are these modern women who can’t find a husband
Unfortunately some don’t. They’re immature, don’t know how to be in healthy marriage because all they saw was dysfunction. And their communication sucks🤦🏽♀️but now if you marry a grown man, who want to be married then you have a chance at what marriage is suppose to be like
Get out there and date more so you can find your hubby. Men are starting to step their game up so there are good ones out here. Meanwhile make yourself ready to be a wife. Are you a Proverbs 31 woman?
All the people giving her praises forget that even our grandmothers who were not ALLOWED to give inputs or their perspectives to their husbands in the first place still got cheated on and abused. Men will come online and agree and big up such women but it still won't change their actions towards women in real life
Red flag that she had to _learn_ the _obvious_ . To address people with respect and according to their age. This is common sense if you're raised properly. Virtue signalling at its finest. She's suggesting people walk on eggshells around their husband. It's a partnership for a reason, he should appreciate your input, not see it as "correction" . If you were having to 'correct' him that many times, that you've had to change your approach to not hurt his feelings. *You married the wrong one.*
I guess your way is better, with 80% of our children being born to single mothers and 20% of the men fathering most of those children?? This way the mistakes can keep on rolling, right? Marriage gets you nothing apparently, so it's much better to trust the government, because it always has your best interests at heart and has done so, so much for the black community... Our communities are thriving right now, yet they were disastrous when marriage was a thing... Right? No families, no homes, and every marriage had cheating and abuse... right? Food stamps and government hand outs are much better than having men about.
Wtf is wrong with correcting your husband 🤷🏽♀️ if he’s wrong you should let him know in a respectable manner and absolutely in private. If he’s going off a cliff your just going to sit there and go with him all in the name of I can’t correct him. WHAT IS GOING ON
Perhaps she means AFTER the mistake is done, the context of her monolingual suggests the mistake has been made, most average intelligence can self correct after the error is observed, that why they say hindsight is 20/20?
Deion🏆 exactly, brilliant comment! She is young, and she is on that worship your man type energy right now because she has not been married long enough to know what she talking about and it is called accountability when in a marriage or a relationship. I completely agree with your comment.
@@samuelmutuiri596 LMFAO!! Totally, that happens all the time. When I correct him in front of his friends or mine, I always get applauded for “being his keeper”. LMFAO. How does this apply to being corrected? How am I “his keeper” if I correct him. He doesn’t know everything. I don’t know everything. But with our combined knowledge, we know more together. That’s why we correct each other. Better to be informed than to be ignorant. If your ego is so important that you would rather remain ignorant than have your partner correct you, that’s you, and you gotta live the life you want. All I’m saying is that there are people out there who are okay with being corrected.
I agree. I hear what she's saying but I think it's possible to respectfully correct. NO individual has it ALL figured out. And the weight of the world and the household shouldn't fall entirely on HIS shoulders IMHO.
This comment Section is crazy yall understand she said basically is saying there's a way to go about speaking to your man without disrespecting him as a man you "correct" him through giving him your perspective and discussing the problem at hand then letting him figure that shit out.
Yes. I never tell my boyfriend what to do or demand he does something. When we have conversations I make sure to listen to his concerns and feelings. If he asks what I think about what he plans to do, I give him my opinion but the decision will always be his decision, not mine. That has nothing to do with submission;, that is called loving and respecting him as a grown man who has the right to make his own decisions. But to be fair, he takes my opinions into consideration and things always work out. And just remember: even if his decisions do not always work out, be supportive to him. It is so important to our grown men..and I say grown men. Not dusty, cheating, unappreciative, unhealthy, lazy, abusive, unloving men acting like boys..let's get that clear!!
@@NoName-sp5dp I'm going to give it to you biblically don't get mad at the messenger. The holy Bible says get married and be fruitful that means have children. It might not matter to you but it matters to him the one who can send you to hell to heaven do you. Seems to me you have no direction or no rules to follow but God gave us commandments and statues to live by okay
It took her a minute to get here!! I remember seeing a video where she was yelling at her husband. Honestly I’m happy that she did learn because it was a lot of women correcting her in the comments. I truly think babies changed her for the better.
It took my wife a while to learn this but she was willing to making our relationship and I was willing to do whatever it took to make it work too. I learn not be so critical of all her mistakes either.
I'm not tip toeing around your ego. I'm gonna directly and respectfully tell you what your doing wrong so you can get it right. A wise king knows he to must take counsel, leadership, and direction from his queen. She can see, feel and tuned into things and situations in ways that you can't. And until men learn this your actually cheating yourself out of a women's full power and potential to elevate you pass the 3D existence. You boys have alot to learn about a women.
I’m going to directly and respectfully tell you to use “you’re” instead of “your” so you can get it right. Also, “past” instead of “pass”. I don’t want you wrong out here! Take care.
@@JM-gc7hz thankyou it's actually not me my phone fills the words in and when I correct it and post it changes it back but thankyou I will remember this next time and thankyou for even taking time to really read my comment and catch all those mistakes glad you got the msg love 😉💜
@@Olivia-vi6yw I definitely get it. My phone auto corrects all the time. Weird things too. Sometimes I’m like how did it get that from what I meant? Ha ha. Take care
This is an excellent wife! Single men if you want a woman like this you need to: -get down on one knee and actually marry her (without waiting an absurdly long amount of years) -pay all the bills -remain faithful to the wife -protect her from hurt, harm or danger
This woman is not the norm…she’s the exception…we guys get married all the time…seldom do we come across a woman like this…upon meeting this woman i imagine most guys would want to marry her.
@@wesswood1 yeah right. Grass is always greener, know too many men willing to admit they lost some good ones out here being a pos. Yall act like yall never do any wrong to good women and that's a damn lie.
Exactly. Shes giving him her prospective, trusting him to consider it, not correcting him because hes not s child- which I 100% agree with- but shes still waiting for it to happen. Shes still waiting for the reward of security for being submissive.
Nooo… my husband is stubborn AF! I keep telling him how his behaviour something can lead other people to misinterpreted what he means and he snapped and told me… “that’s what they think, I’m responsible for what I say, not what other people understand” 😵💫 That got me quiet for a while 😂
Words of Wisdom. An a submissive wife will ‘always’ have grace in her marriage. This is what a covenant partner (wife) looks like. This wife ‘understands’ Blessings
Exactly!!! Almost 29 yrs here and stronger than ever, especially after we decided to honor our roles in our marriage and how marriage was designed from the beginning!!
This comment Section is crazy yall understand she said basically is saying there's a way to go about speaking to your man without disrespecting him as a man you "correct" him through giving him your perspective and discussing the problem at hand then letting him figure that shit out.
Holding space for different perspectives and on the spot feedback is something mature people are able to do. Not addressing right out wrongs in the open can be very damaging to those observing, but this can be thoroughly mitigated by the husband following up with a public self correction/apology. Leave no appearance of a division or wrongs uncorrected......
@@vtbhoward came here to write just this. Parents should do show every facet of the relationship to their kids. Boasting about your parents never disagreeing might have affected you in a negative way as you'll feel having a differing opinion is wrong and should be avoided so you always acquiesce.
Was your reply for me, @@Lelough_ ? I am unclear about what is being expressed fully by you. In a way, it seems like we agree that children are better off seeing healthy dialogue, even if parents do not have the same perspective about, or solutions to, an open issue. Displaying healthy processes to deal with conflict is so important.
Yes, I'm 60+ that's how it happened when we were growing up and you knocked on the their bedroom door if they were in bed, asked their permission to enter, etc. 🤣
You are correct! Male egos are for the birds. I love my man, but if he is a drunk or makes the wrong decisions too many times, time's up buddy. However, I won't disrespect him. That's NEVER EVER cool.
Red flag that she had to _learn_ the _obvious_ . To address people with respect and according to their age. This is common sense if you're raised properly. If she was having to 'correct' him that many times, that she had to change her approach to not hurt his feelings. She should know by now. *She married the wrong one.*
My husband asks my opinion on everything important. I tell him mine and then he makes his own decisions. Same for me to him. I ask and he tells me his opinion and I make my own choice and we accept each other’s choices. And because we are best friends later on when one of us realizes that our decision we made was a bad one then we laugh at it and accept what’s happened and move on.
That’s too bad that he doesn’t trust his own instinct. Occasionally I can see somebody asking their wife if it’s a topic that they might be more familiar with but everything ? No I disagree
@@mahatmagandhi7588 ok well geez if you want to get technical about it I meant like big decisions everything that’s important that could change our lives together as a family or a couple.
@@love.wildly.live.fearlessly I am not getting technical I was only replying to your words and you said, "everything" I mean how was I supposed to take it. I took it pretty much literally. Sorry.
@@mahatmagandhi7588 ok I will change the everything to ‘everything important’ so there is no confusion. I’m not his mother He doesn’t ask my opinion on what clothes to wear or if he can go outside.
I understand your point but in one or two particular occasion, your husband never take the lead by telling you what to do when you come to him? I understand is important to anyone to make his own choice but when your married and truly love someone, as a Man especially, they are some decisions we will must likely don't agree with you and said look you can't do that, do it like that.
Another episode of tiptoing around men's feelings and ego, which normally they won't do for you. Nothing new under the sun. If he's so fragile he can't hear a simple "But babe, what about.." idk what to tell you. It's like your talking to a child and building their confidence.
👏🏾👊🏾Thank you. If my husband can tell me about myself, he can be told too. This hurting a man’s ego because he can’t take correction or criticism is utter nonsense. A bunch of one sided marriages.
Let me guess....you are single, right? You are a boss beotch and savage Classy, bougie, ratchet Sassy, moody, nasty right. High-value men have no problem listening to a high-value woman giving her intelligent opinion. He loves that. What he doesn't love is the masculine loud "opinion" and emasculating woman like yourself.
Went totally over your head. She understand that men want to be great husbands to their wives. Give your man your perspective and let him correct himself. He is your head and you are his rib he loves you and will lay down his life for you if need be, so this is the least you can do. This will keep peace in your marriage. This is something you can talk to your man about and see what he thinks. It's about working together and repeating each others positions. He's blessed for having this woman.
EXACTLY!!! Sheesh ppl are so soft can’t respectfully correct someone ?! 😬 huh?! And ima assume he thinks he’s an “alpha” male but can’t take words on his ego 🙄🤣🤣
Amen 💯 this is how a HEALTHY relationship should be 🌸 Any smart female is going to want to be with a Man she can TRUST to Lead! If you can't TRUST your Man to lead and be a MAN then what's the Point? - She KNOWS her husband well enough to move that way. Thats wassup 💯 And that's why they married..! 🙌
This is the same woman who said she will secretly record him on TV. She's lying here. Don't believe this from her for a second, because she has already PUBLICLY said otherwise more times than she ever as anywhere else.
I've been saying she's capping!!! I know this lady because I was an avid follower and she doesn't talk to her husband this way even on camera and she has said opposite so many times before abd after she popped out two babies. She's switching up. The manosphere community is in a way "trending" and influencers will put and do anything out there to stay relevant. She also has a lot of female followers who might have realized her aggressive behavior doesn't actually work in the dating space and so she's moving with the currency of what's happening right now. She's so masculine in everything that i thought her husband was her friend or a coworker initially. It's so bad.
Bullseye! I hear what she is saying. But, we live in a society where we dress up ideologies in costumes so they will be less offensive to people. In reality, this practice does nothing but erode us from the inside out. #JustCallItWhatItis
Exactly. I love when people correct me. At least respectfully. I'm not perfect with all the knowledge. If my woman has knowledge I don't she needs to tell. Because if she thinks I can't handle it that's the biggest insult
You need to listen to what she is saying more carefully. She is saying that if she feels he is moving in the wrong direction or making a wrong decision, she will respectfully express herself to him, but ultimately the decision is his to make. She is not going to shut him down as if he were a foolish child and tell him no, no, no. Mommy says no. Having final say, carries with it great responsibility. A ship has only one captain. Every couple needs to figure out who the team captain is. Once that happens, all the bickering stops. Most women are not alpha women, so most women don’t want to have to carry the burden of having to making all of the major decisions. But if the woman is truly an alpha woman, then she needs to be the captain. It will be hard to find a man secure enough with himself be comfortable in the roll of supporter but such men do exist.
No, you correct children. You respect adults enough to make natural corrections. The desire to correct comes from a superiority complex that you have the path others should follow. Where seeing another’s failures and trusting they can/will see it on their own is maturity. They could ask of course but that’s a different conversation
@@TheUpsideDownLife It has nothing to do with one feeling "superior" and making someone else feel subordinate! It's about "constructive" correction...and it's not a bad thing. What if that person doesn't know or even feels that they're not wrong, you're just gonna wait for them to "self-correct"?
I believe that it is OK to correct your husband. BUT, there is definitely a time and a place to do so! I believe you defend your husband in public and correct your husband in private. You NEVER correct your husband in front of friends, family, even the children. But when you two are alone in your bed together, you respectfully mention to your husband that the comment he made today was incorrect or inappropriate, or the word he said today was incorrect. Then the two of you can have a conversation about it. If he agrees with your point of view, great! Now he takes the correction and goes back into the world tomorrow using the correct term or not making the wrong statement again. Or if he disagrees, then you accept it, pray about it, and allow God to correct him by putting him in a situation to prove that you were right all along. You as the woman never have to yell, get angry, or get out of character. Just my beliefs!
As long as you honor and respect him, as a man via your communication, both publicly and privately, you’re on the right path. You should be looking to give your perspective or tell him how you felt about a situation, not tell him how to behave, as you do with a child. In loving you, your husband will hear what you have to say, and make adjustments if necessary. This may be God telling YOU, that you could slightly tweak your approach when dealing with your husband, because none of us are always right all along 🤷
There's a lot of nuance when it comes to that word "submit," some women believe it means being some kind of a subordinate or you should never challenge their spouse's reasoning. In my opinion I believe that everyone should sit with their respective spouse and communicate to each other what they expect from them and vice versa. Don't use someone else's definition, develop your own.
@@SIFUSAYSRELAX it's not "wrong" it's the perception of the word you may have an issue with. that's why they are in quotations, you can replace it with whatever synonym you please. It's your relationship use words that make you feel comfortable.
@@We_God I don't have an issue with it. Me and mine are good over here. I've never had to ask. It happens naturally. I can see how it could be perceived by a woman..especially a modern woman. Words matter
That's not game. There are healthy relationships out there. She is dropping gems. She understands how a man thinks and operates. Remember this is a small thing she is doing for the same man that will lay down his life for her if need be. If a man love his wife, he will always take his wifes perspective, because we understand that women have great perspectives that are different from ours.
@@corneliusa.d.3302 Are you familiar with this couple? Their relationship is part of their brand, she understands marketing, he always looks dead in the eyes when he's around her she's about the bag by any means necessary. I'm not in their household but they have been in the public eye for a min now doing interviews, appearances together etc. She seems to definitely wear the pants in the relationship and seems quite dysfunctional and performative irl. But go off on your fantasy soundbite..
Part of the problem is that you all create too many situations in your heads.... You're not as self aware as you think if you can't think in the moment. You can't hold every man responsible for one man's mistakes. If you can't let go of the past, you'll never have a future. You'll always be living in delusion...not trying to talk down, only trying to help.
I see a lot of people defending her argument by saying “what she actually meant was...” no, she said what she said and meant it. A wife should feel comfortable in her marriage to say to her husbands “you’re wrong.” There’s nothing disrespectful about that. You are equally as important in a marriage. I can’t believe I even have to say this.
She didn't say that number one. She actually said nothing that was clear actually. Which shows she likely hasn't learned a thing except maybe to tone down the talking to him like a child so blatantly
Nah. Her opinion at the end of the day isn't an objective fact. It's subjective. Just because SHE believes it's objective doesn't mean HE does. And the same vice versa. Her going up to him and telling him that he's wrong completely devalues his perspective and treats him as less than her. You can't command your hubby to change his mind. Her way of treating the relationship leaves her open to change as well and it leaves it open on her own terms and the same vice versa. It's something they work together on. Listening to each other isn't about doing what each other wants, it's to allow themselves to be influenced by each other's words but remain independent and together nonetheless.
Someone still has the final say in decisions in all areas of life. At work all of the employees submit to the will of their employer if they want to remain employed. The trade off is the business owner is responsible for 'taking care of' them by making decisions and working to keep the business afloat and is the one who stands to lose the most if his decisions cause the business to fail. In a marriage a woman can choose to 'submit' to her husband in exchange for handing him the responsibility of taking care of her and the family and shielding them from the realities of a harsh world. A key prerequisite here is he has to actually be a grown ass fully responsible and strong man ready to lay down his life for his family.
This is simply respect. My husband treats me the same way. He gives me his perspective and he knows I’ll consider it deeply in matters where I have the agency over the outcome. Some of this male/female tug-of-war is so unnecessary. It’s called respect and it goes both ways. Very simple. Y’all are totally over-complicating this thing. Lol
Exactly!!! Almost 29 yrs here and stronger than ever, especially after we decided to honor our roles in our marriage and how marriage was designed from the beginning!!
@@swiftkarma4436 TRANSLATION: WE tend to complicate things because of our "egos" a.k.a. STUPIDITY and LACK of humility! I agree, life's MUCH easier when we let go of that!
Right that goes both ways, sometimesa man can't only see it his way but I feel the same way I would pray that God shows him himself and his mistake ❤️❤️❤️💯🥰
She only made sense when she said “I desire to honor & respect him… I’m not going to disrespect… I don’t speak to him like a child”. She does correct him with her perspective and conversation. It’s how you communicate that initiates self-correction and for the man to filled with love & confidence in his woman to receive all that.
I have been married for 13 years and this is the wisest marriage advice I have heard..."presenting your perspective with respect and let your partner reflect on it. If they truly love you they will take it into high consideration and self correct; and also bear in mind you may not always be right".
Amen to that.
Look I've been married for 15 years. And like I said in my comment I would never correct my husband in public. For one it depends on what he's wrong about. But if he's wrong he's wrong. I'mma pull him to the side though and I'm not going to let him sound like an idiot. Cuz that's a good wife. I'm not going to let my husband sound like no dumbass. That's my best friend that's my ride or die. But you can fancy it in any term you want to put it. Oh I'm letting him see it from my perspective. No you're not You're correcting him that's what the hell you're doing. You can say however you want when you get down to it you're correcting him. She's newly married you can see it, there's nothing wrong with that. But at the same time the views you have when you first get with somebody they don't stay the way that they are in the beginning as versus when you're 15 almost 20 years down the road. You have a version of the same views. But if you make it as long as 15-20 years you learn a few things. And one of those is if somebody is wrong sometimes you got to let them know the right way to go about it. And there's nothing wrong with that. Another way some people go about that is a little much. But it depends on the type of person you're with too you know what I'm saying? But to say oh I'm just letting him hear it from my perspective no you're not. You're correcting him when it gets down to it that's exactly what you're doing You're correcting him. If you want to let your husband sound like a dumbass because you are too scared to speak up and be like and pull them to the side and be like hey baby this is the way it said or hey that's what this means or hey that's not actually how that goes. Then you're not a good wife. He should do the same for you. Did you ain't about the let your husband sound like a complete idiot bro you know what I mean? Baby trying to fancy it up like they're a good wife and oh I sit and talk and listen to my husband and oh we sit and talk and resolve our problems. Oh I defer to my husband. Yeah okay. Sure you do. If that's the way you want to do your your thing and that's that's how you want to tell everybody you're doing it good for you. But I promise you that's not how it's going behind closed doors. And if it is it's cuz she's with a dude that don't let her do shit anyway. Cuz a partnership is what you should have in a marriage That's 50/50. Should nobody be deferring to anyone. You should make decisions together jointly. Because if one person is making all the major decisions You're a dependent. You're not independent you're a dependent. And that's a problem because if you have children that's how he's seeing you he's seeing you as something else he's got to take care of, you're not allowed to speak your mind You're not allowed to have an opinion You're not allowed to let him know that he was wrong. That marriage ain't going to last long That's what I'm telling you. So y'all ain't here talking about amen this and amen that. That's not the kind of marriage that nobody should strive for. Being a freaking doormat not being a partner. Not being independent being a dependent. That's basically what she's saying. But yeah go go ahead and say Amen to that
@@In_ThIs_SAD_Dark_Reality
@@In_ThIs_SAD_Dark_Reality there is a difference between, "You were wrong! Just admit it for goodness sake!! How could you do that, how can you say that, how can you even think a thing like that..."
...and... " hey babe concerning so and so I have been thinking about it, don't you think this might be a better way to it...I was hoping we could use this approach if you...."
Big difference, both statements are trying to correct, but the manner and tone of approach is what makes the difference between a woman that constantly tears her husband down and the one that builds him up.
So I think that's basically what she wass trying to say in the video...I love your point too, it's very true.
Yeah that's what I meant . Definitely you shouldn't be talking to your spouse like they're a child . There's a right way and a wrong way to correct anybody . You don't have the right to belittle somebody just because you're right and they're not . So I definitely understand what you're saying to you also made a really good point @@Light_to_the_Nations
The lesson here is not submission, the lesson is communication and mutual respect. That's what makes a good relationship.
Absolutely I dont know why guys love to use that disrespectful word whenever it comes to women.
@@rummanamoledina4973maybe because they don't put the same negative connotations on it that women do. It doesn't mean that boys acting like men don't weaponize the word. But he is trying to explain what the healthy version of this looks like, sounds like, and has the potential to feel like. This way, you can discern if the individual requesting your submission has your best interest at heart.
@@pumpkin.spiced oh really ... I would love to see these guys accepting when their employers tell them to submit after all they probably have their best at heart ❤
@@pumpkin.spiced submission is a dirty word today better use some other word.
I find it funny that we women always think negatively when men are just trying to be heard!! For all you Christian bible toting women, doesn't the bible discuss submission to your husband???🤔 it doesn't mean slavery or disrespect! It means honor, and submit to his leadership!!
"I married a grown man, I will not treat him like a child." Damn straight.
Not treat.
She said talk to him.
You let children learn thru trial and error not grown men.
Thats treating him like an adult.
Self correct? Wtf.
There is no submission in her statement
How is giving your man correction, talking to him like a child or disrespectful? I should be able to correct him just like he's able to correct me, with respect and honor to better our marriage.
A GROWN MAN should be able to accept and embrace the TRUTH respectfully.
First, stop acting like we all know what healthy relationships look like. Its irksome when people say “you chose him like that alleviates the other of all responsibility for their actions. People grow, change and LIE!
Secondly, I hope some impressionable person doesn’t see this short and take it as fact without context. It sounds pretty (to the men), but is missing a few key things.
Just as she “learned” not to correct her husband because she married a MAN he would need to learn to value her opinion when making decisions that affect the family. He would also have to be humble enough to admit his faults while actively pursuing true growth and manhood as this is one of the signs of growth in a person.Ladies don’t let anyone tell you to put your lives in the hands of an utter fool when he hasn’t proven he is ready for the responsibility.
The submission is to EACH OTHER in different ways.
@@cfigueroa2011 I agree with everything you've stated up until the "submission" part. I'm not sure that I understand how or why someone should "submit" to someone based on the genitalia they were given at birth. Especially when those that they are expected to submit to come from the very parts that are somehow beneath them in some way. I'll take a PARTNER. One who thinks as much of me, as I them. One who bows to me, as I bow to them. Nature gives BALANCE and understanding that balance, you understand that while men are PHYSICALLY superior? It is because we are MENTALLY superior. It's been PROVEN that women fair far better in leadership positions and roles than their male counterparts. That we're more inclined with an ability to connect emotionally, empathize, sympathize and have more compassion in order to be considerate of everyone and make whatever decisions are best for the group or unit as a whole. None is above me. ESPECIALLY, anyone who's entire half of the species has cultivated a reputation throughout history for things like praising and comparing each other's dick sizes and daring one another to see who can be the first to jump off the roof of their house and break their back. No ma'am.
She said...she had to learn this! This is very important to hear. Thier relationship was strong enough for them both to grow as individuals and then as partners 🥰most beautiful!
😂
Lmboo..Please even if she said she had to learn. By your comment you don't agree what she actually said. You just heard she had to LEARN. When half you use the learn part will take that as a long forever after maybe 20 years then you want to turn on the light bulb to do what she said
@@justifiedcrown9669 please have fun entertaining your self with how u Interpret it!🥰
That is the most important part of this video, letting others know that one can learn and one should be given the space and time to learn. It does not happen automatically.
Good point.
She said she married a “grown man,” so there is no reason to speak to him like a child. Key word is grown. Other key word is respect.
Actually the first keyword is married. Boyfriends don't get husband benefits.
Even if you feel like he's not acting like a "grown man", you still have no business correcting him. Just leave him be.
That's because most girls date hood dudes or bad boys who have mommy issues they hide it with disrespect and being over aggressive
@@wandamajette5000 same for a GF, doesn’t it?
exactly, respect. Perspective is correction though, it's just the way you go about having conversation but have to correct your partner if they are doing something wrong it is called accountability to each other.
This works because her husband would “Love her as he loves himself” that’s the part that makes it work.
Thank you for saying this because there are millions of husbands in other women’s DMs.. She can do this because her husband chose to be loyal to her.
Yes Indeed!!! Completely agree!!!
Thank you so much Sir, Submitting and Respect comes from a Man playing his God given role.. So hard submitting to a person who dont respect you as a woman keep on doing shameful and wrong things. Otherwise we love to respect and honor our Men as women
Preach!!!🙌
Amennnn
I'm afraid that I appreciate when my wife points out where I might have fucked up so I can correct it immediately we know how to talk to each other like adults.
💯💯💯
EXACTLY. It would be unwise not to say something, but in the right way. That’s a woman’s duty. To allow him to lead, but also be his helpmate.
AMEN 🙏🏾
I agree with you. I think it is about tone of voice. When I mess up. I need to it to be vocalized because I won't know what I did wrong. It needs to be communicated how actions/ conversation should be communicated. Im definitely going to have a conversation with my partner
💯💯💯
It's not what you say. It's how you say it. You can always respect each other enough not to talk down to each other.
I believe this.
Yes and no, cause the issue is that no matter what is being said or how it is said, it can always be taken out of context, flipped around or made as a weapon or changed into something that really wasn't originally there in the first place.
Truth.💯👏🏾
Who said correcting had to be disrespectful. We are a unit and I’m honoring you just like you are honoring me. Which in turn honors us. You correct me & I correct you with an understanding of boundaries, respect and rational.
Finally, looking at the comments I agree with you 100%!!! Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity
Exactly. When she mentioned treating him like a child, I thought “we don’t have to go to the extreme.” There is a respectful middle ground.
Thank you! her views could be considered extreme. She’s pretty traditional.
YES. It goes both ways.
Is your opinion coming from your marriage?
The Bible says, “ a fool hates correction.” There is a way to correct without disrespect and condescension. Beware of people, man or woman, who can’t hear anything critical about themselves without acting out.
I also wonder what her perspectives are on all those people who bought website design packages and classes from her and never got the goods they paid for. Beware of false prophets.
Exactly
Boom 💥
They swear they're winning tho lol
The need to be right.
This!!!!!!
That man is probably in a hurry to go home to her everyday
Shit I know damn well I would.. not even because is she pretty, but cuz she respects her man
Like she was the winning lottery ticket 😂
Exactly
I’m most definitely going home I’ll holla fellas
Quick, fast and in a hurry
When I stopped asking him to do chores, and instead told him how much it meant to me and helped me, when he helps around the house suddenly he is doing chores a lot more, and helping me with cleaning up after meals. I still do the majority, because I work less than him, but it not longer feels overwhelming.
So you had to treat him like a child so he can do his part? Mom guilt that shit ig. A grown man would know to pull his weight
Maybe deciding to work together with her husband rather than trying to command him on what he should or shouldn't be doing did the trick and made shit easier in their house. It's not a hard equation to figure out being a decent human being, especially to the one you chose to share your life with. Funny how most y'all seem to know what a "real" man should or shouldn't be doing considering that you aren't one.
@@cortney3798Looks like you missed the point,you will probably drive every man away. Ask for help,don't order,men are not mindreaders.
@@michaelafrazier3387 Ok enlighten me. If the wife sees the house dirty and cleans it because she contributes to the mess why does a man need to coaxed into helping clean after himself?
@@kiddchris9579 You don't know me so I guess you are referring to yourself.
Exactly. “I married a grown man!” I love that!
That gown man needs to correct her on not scamming people in the name of Jesus...😬
It's that part for me!!!
Everyone makes mistakes and not everything needs to be a discussion OR a debate.
As a wife with a significantly better memory than her husband my partner counts on me to catch those small mistakes and errors.
Yes and this allowing him to self-correct is treating him like a child
My wife is just like this. I truly didn't realize until she spoke out the words and I started to recall my wife's actions and how she interacts with me and tells me her opinions. It's always motivated me to do better and be a better man for her. Her talking to me that way actually works, as I actively work on the issues and my delibrate actions show it.
Even now I falling more in love with her and I now know this isn't a norm. I'm such a lucky guy.
You lucky mf. God bless
She still treats you like a child using her inside voice cause YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER ALREADY. The person is supposed to make your life better. Seems you didn't and working on issues.
You're falling more I love and YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN LOVE TO BEGIN WITH.
@@melizzamelizza You sound like you hold yourself to standards that are WAY too high.
You are blessed. I don’t think I’ll ever see that for myself. That kind of woman today almost nonexistent.
@@melizzamelizza You're supposed to be a better person daily. Better than you were yesterday. That doesn't happen overnight. It's a lifelong journey. And yes, issues will arise but how you deal with them shows your depth of love. You're entitled to your opinion. I love my wife and how she treats and respects me. Hope you find something as good for yourself.
A man that will listen and correct himself is a man worth submitting too. But a man who continues his bad behaviour, doesn't respect his wife's word is not worthy of submitting too. He will lead you straight into living hell.
Agreed
Yeah preach
This
As a married women I agree with her because I married the RIGHT man, and clearly she married the RIGHT man for her. Unfortunately a lot of women would never get a chance to be submissive. Very difficult for women to submit to the WRONG man. 😌
That part 🎯🎯
💯💯💯💯💯
What is a wrong man? You get the energy you put out. The man you called wrong is perfect for someone else with the right energy.
The scripture says to be reverent to your husband and you submit one to another. A woman chooses the man she will respect this is where some of us mess up. We marry men we don’t respect so we are not equally yoked.
@@mrzagamaje9434 nah it don’t work like that. That man will find a woman who agrees with his lifestyle. Men don’t change. The quicker you find a man that moves in a way you as the woman like better chances the relationship works out. Some women just prefer a “bad boy”. They know what he is like, some women even think he will “change” for them, most Likely he would not. Nothing is guaranteed- it is a constant 50/50 chance the relationship will work out. As women all you have is hope that the man will continue to be the man that you want and need.
You can honor respect and submit without letting me make a mistake because im a MAN 🤔🤦🏿♂️ wtf is yall talking bout if my woman see me about to make a mistake SPEAK UP 🤔 dont let me fail hoping i correct it going forward if we cant communicate the good the bad the indifferent without me feeling like you nagging or you feeling like i dont value your opinion we shouldn't be together🤦🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️
That’s exactly what she saying…also as a husband you should have a little confidence in your ability to lead a family without making drastic crazy mistakes . I think your comment highlights that you may not be ready to be a husband and need to work on becoming a better man before you try to lead a family.
You realize you just reworded what she said right?
True but as a woman we have to allow him to evolve and support him. Yes we give our perspective in peace and we in it together giving mutual respect
Thank-you sir you said it in a nut shell. I'd love him to much to see you making a mistake and not correct it. I been in a situation like this and had he listened to me he would have not lost over 800.00 in a scam smh. You have to be able to allow you women to lead you too. She is intuitive and she sees and feels things you can't. I tried to warn him he didn't listen and lost all that money. Then he had to ask me to come with him and read the paperwork research his rights and the laws to get him his money back. Smh 🤦♀️
Keep in mind I read the paperwork research the company and warned him they are known for scaming people. He had this attitude and still had to come back to me after falling on his face and needed my knowledge and wisdom to guide him out that situation.
This comment Section is crazy yall understand she said basically is saying there's a way to go about speaking to your man without disrespecting him as a man you "correct" him through giving him your perspective and discussing the problem at hand then letting him figure that shit out.
Bam!!!
Yep… and it goes both ways..
Yeah. You don't start arguments in public and you don't belittle him. I have seen that, and while that man who was subjected to it was honestly no good, that just showed that my relative chose the wrong person and was responsible for staying in that relationship as long as she did.
And I know this because she doesn't do that with the person she is currently with. It is totally different
@@chewdoom8415 This is the problem I have with these statements! Men and women alike choose the wrong mate because you do not know the future! People do not dump someone at the first or second sign of incompatibility because growth, compromise and working together will never happen if everyone just broke up all the time! Every time a man complains about a woman's behavior in great detail "HE" has chosen wrong and procreated with the wrong woman. So nobody "including men" are choosing right partners from the start! So stop saying women are the ones choosing wrong! Because this statement alone is saying men have no responsibility to be better mates or choose correctly because as you all put it, men decide who they will be in a relationship with and women decide when sex will happen.
I think that what she said is completely understood. Yes, she is getting the corrections she wants but it is because she trust that he will make the that decision just by them talking about. Isn’t that what anyone can ask for? Have a conversation and come to a conclusion that benefits all involved
YESSSSSSS I love to hear this so much. Never works when both partners are fighting for power and control. She's a breath of fresh air.
"To take my perspective into high consideration with his actions". Oh I love that.
She said that well
It's all lies with her, many videos of her being rude to her husband. Both of them are scammers
@@FaithandNova Umma have to look into that what's her page?
@@FaithandNova 🤣😂🤣🤣🤣 Stop 🛑
@@FaithandNova what???😱😱😱😱
Where can we find them on YT or other sites??
Would like to see with my own eyes....
I analyse her words and came to the conclusion that I do not believe her....
KEY WORD, she married a grown man. Most of these dudes these days are grown boys…so there is no self correcting, there is deflection and tantrums…like a child…there is no talking to a child
Definitely some truth to that
Even if you feel like he's not acting like a "grown man", you still have no business correcting him. Just leave him be.
Preach
That part!
Be more attracted to grown men, rather than be seduced by dudes/grown boys. The actual men slip through y'all's fingers; the boys stick to y'all's fingers. Leave those loud/obnoxious fools to their devices. Real men are out there in in the trenches, in big numbers, with jobs, assets, wisdom, and self-respect. But you guys look beyond them as they often forego seducing you with flash/material BS, while building and conserving wealth.
I don't want someone that is easily offended by being corrected. Pride and ego causes the issues. We should be able to correct and protect our partner from making mistakes. Your tone, body language and words should be respectful when correcting anyone.
Thank you
No I think that you should reflect on that and realize that being easily offended by being corrected is actually just being offended that the person that is speaking to you is talking down to you and disregarding everything to simply be right over you. If you really listen to this video you would know that she does "correct" her husband but not in a sanctimonious and know it all way that nobody likes to hear and not because of Pride or ego. In fact, it's pride and ego that are the reasons that people flat out correct others in the way that you're thinking.
@@shj7346 If you read my comment correctly, you'd see tone, body language and words makes a difference (respectful).
Pride or ego should never be the reason for correction. Obviously that's not what I'm thinking. Some people are easily offended. We use the term easily because people have triggers. When listening with offensive ears instead of understanding. It has nothing to do with what someone is saying. That's a personal problem in itself. Some people get upset because of difference of opinion.
@@starw6908 nope you shouldn't be correcting an adult.... pride and ego have nothinh to do with it at all respectfully
But your partner is not your child to correct nor control. Discussing mistakes is one thing but “correcting” an adult sounds like control.
Been married for 17yrs now, I believe women can and should correct their husbands when needed.
Sometimes men don't realize mistakes they make and if not corrected, its most likely to happen again.
If a woman just sits back and not say anything, resentment may build up.
Telling a grown man you want to correct your husband. Maybe you should check out the definition of HUSBAND. Men would rather have conversations with you that sitting for you to come and correct your lord. Conversation helps you to understand the reason for his action. .........
I don't get upset when my wife correct me. For one thing I'm not perfect.
Same
In other words, you are a man not a manchild who flees from accountability
I think was she was referring to how a lot of women often end up treating their husbands like you would a kid versus what he is, an adult who she married. Reading your comment I get the impression you wife doesn't treat you like a kid that needs to be told what to do and not to do.
She means she lets him know she has a different pov….your wife shits on u and tells u your wrong. Big difference
She actually does "correct" him but not in a corrective way 😂. I think that's how to work with any adult unlike how's it's told women to train their husbands, maybe those ones never got the training at the right time.
Y’all saying she’s submissive but lol what? They’re simply treating each other with respect and BOTH taking each other into priority. She mentioned that. This isn’t one way. She didn’t marry just any man
@scorpionattitude And it should be give-and-take. By the same token, ANY man with self-respect won't marry just ANY woman either!
You act like saying submit to black women is acceptable. Black women hear submit and think slave and domination. She is showing actually what it is. It's trusting in your man to lead and make the decisions for the family that are best for the family. Men are stepping up major, but there are a lot of boys out here that don't know how to respect our beautiful black women.
Yes, she's submissive not subjugated! That's why she's married and STILL MARRIED...a lot of women will be happier and secure and content if they learn from other women like this beautiful lady.
@@ImaHaddad AMEN! Society will be better off too!
@@corneliusa.d.3302 maybe because submit actually means domination and slave??????????????
“only a fool despises correction” - King Solomon, Proverbs 15:5
Edit; Ezekiel 3:18. If you see someone doing something wrong and you don’t speak up or warn them, their sins are on your hands as well. And God holds you accountable.
It's not the correction that's the issue. It you feel the need to badly to call him out infront of others.
@@daveyg4104 she did not say just publicly
She said she doesn't do it at all
@@WJTM88 exactly
Let the word of God speak and the rest if us, be quiet
@@CarleneIsAnOvercomer so, you are saying that she should correct her husband because the verse quoted in the original comment in this thread?
BEAUTIFUL MY SISTER. I am fortunate to be married to someone exactly like this. This should be on EVERY black social media.
In my younger years, the qualities I looked for in a woman were largely physical but also I wanted a woman that had similar interests. Now in my early 40’s, I feel the most attractive and desirable quality a woman can have is to be peaceable. Able to maturely and calmly communicate even when we disagree. And to be my peace in a world filled with chaos.
I'm in my 40's too. Its a lot out here 😂
💯💯💯
I’m in my early 30s and I was the same way in my 20s I used to date men off of how they looked but now I love a man who can bring me peace comfort with good communication
Perfectly stated...people learn, develop, evolve in communication, love, respect, understanding, etc.
@@lolagunz I'm 31 and I wholeheartedly agree there's "so much" out here lol🤷♂️😅
I have been married for 13 years and the man who chose me likes to listen to me. I matter to him.
You have a good thing going
❤️
I've been Married 31 Years I LOVE to listen to my BRIDE. !
She also said he's a grown man....some of yall still kids trying to make a grown woman "submit"
well "you" chose the kid. She was not that blind. When you choose a kid you get treated that way. If you want respect get a grown man bounce the kid period
Not our fault u mess with goofies how bout give the ppl a chance that u don’t want to give a chance instead of messing with the guys all the females mess with
@@kingjgangtv1519 you talking to her or me? Couldn't be me I'm single.
@@peteridiiro2806 you? As in me? I'm single. I'm sorry have we ever met?
But yall be CHOOSING and smashing these "kids"
She’s absolutely right, love it. Also as a marriage coach I have come to know that not all men are the same in terms of strength and wisdom. Some grown men still need some suggestions and be put through, it doesn’t make them less of a man as long as you are able to communicate respectfully and see it as an opportunity to lift him, If he needs corrections sometimes and waiting on your suggestion, don’t hesitate, he trusts you. There may be days your partner feels weak to lead, stand up for him ❤
How do you handle a situation like this? If he is not helping or doing something in the wrong way how do I suggest that he does it the right way or how do I communicate to him that I need help without sounding like his mother
@@charliegrei7830 - Who are you to tell a man he is not doing something the right way?
"Self correct" comes from conversation. Good term to remember in every relationship.
Now that's an attractive woman!!!
Yep and it got nothing to do with how she looks.
She looks like the Uso brothers. God bless.
@@user-qx5nk6qg2b You look like Young Thug.
I don't know... She sounds good in this interview but you know she expects him to figure shit out without telling him
Wow. This is what's missing today.
"Husbands and wives, submit yourselves one to another."
@@shanicepilton1096 Exactly! They GLEEFULLY skip over that part!
Don't forget God commanded husbands to love their wives or else he won't listen to their prayers! That's in the bible as well.
The statement 'submitting to one another' that you're referring to was in context of children of God that have fellowship in the church and is not in the context of marriage.
Ephesians 5 v15-21 read it
You're misconstruing the truth with a narrative that you want to impose incorrectly.
In any case to submit means to serve and husbands and wives do submit to one another,it's just in different ways.
Husbands serve thier wives by providing,protect,respecting...and the list goes on
Wives are to serve through thier natural feminine traits e.g. cook,clean,caring etc
Gender equality has got to do with valuing both femininity in women and masculinity in men.To uplift one doesn't mean we should vilify the other.
Husbands love your wives, and wives submit to your husband. There is no part of the bible where men are required to submit to women.
@@imadekingley8994 The Bible literally says “Husband and wives, SUMBIT ye one to another” and it’s literally written in the original comment so wth are you talking about!?! Also, submission is also implied in the Bible verse you just shared! To love a person IS to submit to them! 🤦🏾♀️😂
She said “she married a grown man”
She said “she doesn’t correct but give perspective” so he can self correct!!!
I like that jawn🙏🏽🙏🏽💯
Yep, I caught that, "married a grown man"; let's be fair some of these chicks are dating pookie and ray ray, wanna be tough in the streets. But have no relationship or home leadership. So, yes, they do have to remind them to help pay bills, get a job, bail them out of jail every weekend, take bath,. Handle household business. That toxic fussing and yelling and talking crazy to one another. Them these chicks will say where are the men or I want a man who can be a leader. That's because they have not found a Grown azz Maine..they deal with a little all their life. They actually scared of grown men, because we Desiree grown azz women.
When black women give their perspective, black men take it as attitude. I guess as long as it is coming from a black man's preference it's not attitude.
@@orlandowillis807 your response made my eyes water 😿👏👏...you cant do the whole "l trust he's gonna do the right thing...correct himself and what not" with EVERY dude..that's suicide.
🔥🔥🔥
I love her! What a beautiful blessing she is to her husband.
When she says " I love him so much!" I can just feel her love for her husband.
Who is this lady? Wow
God bless her!!!
That is how I treat my man and he leaves skid marks getting home to me everyday.
On the road or...?
@@_pr0crastinator_ 🤣
That's awesome 😂
I don't think these women realize how easy it is to please a man. If they do they get bored and start drama
Rina Grey lmao but seriously why are you with a man that leaves skid marks? The key there is to pick a grown man from the jump.
Oh she the one one!
For real we all need a man and women like this
Reminds me of the dirt gnome from Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
"THE ONE!"
Other women giving her perspective and not correct him.. cause there like children.they have never even thought about it..
@@V3TS. Yeah she's amazing
Yes indeed. That's a grown woman.
There is nothing wrong with correcting each other as a merry couple and two adults. Sometimes the man does need some correction. If he is doing the right thing then he doesn’t need correction. But we all need correction.
Exactly, he's 1 in a million if he doesn't need correction so is she.
Of course she corrects him. Who is perfect that needs no correction? She is 'bs'ing.
Correct. Like when you write an essay. Somethings should be corrected to be polished
Exactly. It's just the manner in which the correction is done. It should be done respectfully and in calm tones.
@@sophiao5855 of course she is. Even the Bible explains we all need correction. Just paying bills and acting like a man isn’t going to make you a perfect person.
Oh my gosh this is so so good. Oh this should be placed on billboards across the country. Love it!! God Bless this women.
I only hope that THE MAN DOES NOT treat this woman like a child. Honour and respect goes both ways.
Being a 57 year old married woman, I just learned something from this young, wise, married woman. Thank you!❤
Who says it will work for your husband?Some husbands need to be told.
@@feleciabroderick-knight2700 And?
@@feleciabroderick-knight2700 well let her do what she do and you do the same instead of trying to so negative, can easily tell that if you have a man..he ain't happy.
@@eugeneeverett7760 seriously
Me and you both! I was like “this young wife is on point!”
If you as a man get mad at being corrected you not fit to lead a woman as long as I can trust her and she respect me we're good
Period !!! What is the big deal about a women having an opinion and sharing with her husband !?!? I understand being docile and allowing a man to be a man but damn… a man just cannot be corrected AT ALL. !?? Why would I want for you to move forward in making a bad decision if I can stop you from doing so. This page be all over the place sometimes to me.
This!
@@EmpressIntuition222 having a opinion and correcting someone is two different things ma'am smh blk people's comprehension is terrible I swear
@@EmpressIntuition222 its not just about the message but also about the delivery.
@@monotoniaesunasesinolento yeah I agree , tone is really it.
I think we are all capable of receiving information as long as the person delivering is careful how they do it
Thank you for this much needed, practical example of submission. Many women act like they are signing up to be chained to the house, with daily beatings, and lord knows what else.
No man is the same that's how she chooses to communicate with her husband. His actions must give her peace of being an adult. It's a blessing to have that. Bless you both.
Teresa she's getting a whole bunch of hate for it lol from crazy women
Sometimes we are literally incapable of seeing our own faults unless someone else points them out. That my woman cannot correct me when I'm about to/or do mess up is mind blowing. Marriage is a partnership. This is not how I perceive submission. We should be able to have civil conversations around mistakes and learn from them so as not to repeat them. I can't think of any scenario where this is healthy. But oh well, to each his/her own!
I knooooow..this is not even submitting, I doubt she knows the meaning of that word. If i'm making any major changes in my life, i usually pass it through my Mum, Sister & husband. These 3 people have my best interest at heart, they give the best advises & i like how they stop me before i'm about to make any haste decisions to think about it first.
Job 5:17 Even Jehovah God corrects is, and we are to follow in his ways🙏🙏
Exactly!
That's because it isn't the usual meaning of submission, indicated by the air quotes he made when speaking.
My mom thought the same way, then they lost 60,000 because my dad chose all the wrong things and he never allowed my mom to put her input. They lost the house they both busted their asses to obtain, she moved to the smaller house with him, never rubbing it in his face but it killed her. She then later told him not to get into any business with her family, because she said no. Her family is a messy basket case, we all know this. First thing he did was hire my moms nephew. She lost her shit. For more than 30 years she did this kind of submitting. And best believe that when she chose to stay in Mexico and live her best life without my dad dragging her down, he changed his mind. But nah boo. You get what you give me.
But the thing is she is speaking of submitting to a man who’s first submission is to Christ
@@reneam3787 yes, and I’m Christian, but No one down here is perfect, and one can try to love the way Christ does, but you would have to first know God, love God , and not many men do. My dad thinks he does but doesn’t. And even when you do know God, and are in relationship the devil gets in the way. I get that both should love each other, I do, but in this world I don’t know what to think
We've been led to believe women aren't capable of running a household and making financial decisions. They do infact do it best. I don't like losing so yiu bet I'm going to put my input
Wives, obey your own husbands. Some of your husbands may not obey the Word of God. By obeying your husbands, they may become Christians by the life you live without you saying anything. 2 They will see how you love God and how your lives are pure. 3 Do not let your beauty come from the outside. It should not be the way you comb your hair or the wearing of gold or the wearing of fine clothes. 4 Your beauty should come from the inside. It should come from the heart. This is the kind that lasts. Your beauty should be a gentle and quiet spirit. In God’s sight this is of great worth and no amount of money can buy it. 5 This was the kind of beauty seen in the holy women who lived many years ago. They put their hope in God. They also obeyed their husbands. 6 Sarah obeyed her husband Abraham. She respected him as the head of the house. You are her children if you do what is right and do not have fear. (1 Peter 3:1-6 NIV)
@@wakanda_king propaganda
This is a woman who became a wife before she got married..... This is a woman who was trained by an elderly woman.... She has deep wisdom.... God bless you Ma
She does not have a relationship with her mother. She learned on by reading the Bible and applying the biblical principles of Proverbs Women 31.
I believe we are almost saying the same thing sir.. .... I don't know her in person.... I can only perceive that someone must have trained her well and that person should be older than her.... My thought is drawn from the scripture you cited and the one below...
Older women similarly are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine, teaching what is right and good, so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children, to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Titus 2:3-5 AMP
For a woman to handle a man like that, he has to be a man. Taking his male responsibilities in hand.
All men are real men. As a help meet, you can make your man become a better man, by giving him your perspective on things and suggestions. Remember women were created to be a help meet to their husbands. If you don't trust your mans decisions and he makes the wrong ones all the time, did he get your perspective? If he does make bad decisions after you gave him your perspective then y'all can talk it out to get him on track if he fights that its a maturity problem.
@@corneliusa.d.3302 naw all men aren’t.
@@Layinsebas Aren't what?
@@corneliusa.d.3302 if he fight you then he is not a man. A woman’s presence shouldn’t help you become fleshed out ; you should’ve been some what competent before. A woman help you see a different perspective only if you allow it. She’s not a side character to your story.
I think that means you don’t trust that man is a man. When that happens, the solution is not to fix that man, but to fix the trusting relationship you have with that man.
Dammit.. why is my eyes watering n shyt... this is beautiful🥺
I know, right.
Why? Please explain.
Why? Please explain. I'm female.
@@marencruickshank find a man you will willfully submit to, that is the only befitting dynamics that can exist between a man and a woman.
The modern narrative of male-female equality in a relationship is not a natural state for both genders. Deep insider her, the woman just want a man who can be in charge, who she can trust his judgment and willingly exercise her feminine submissive traits to.
While a man wants a woman who will look up to him as her king, who will honor him and adore him so he can feel like a man.
This is in addition to first being decent human beings
That is the natural order and no matter how convincing a woke idea is, they will always ys be a smoke screen
being bound to a husband ..yip pee.
Seems like there is so much coddling to have a husband. There are a BILLION rules and tips for women to follow, only for her to end up tired, lonely, and miserable. They hide it at first, but the misery takes over and it becomes OBVIOUS that most of those wives are miserable and feel alone and used.
Girl bye. Speak on what you actually know.
Sounds like you are the lonely one who gave your all to the wrong man and now you have a bad taste in your mouth for anyone and anything that gives a better perspective than you had. Poor lil tink tink
@@daughterofthemosthighking5095 that is what we have been told we want a career and family... we were told the other option was slacking and unproductive and instead of learning how to keep and multiply his fruits we chose a career path. Stay at home wife/mother is the hardest 24/7/365 unpaid job there is when you are not sub contracting out your work.
That’s a negative! I live by the same method with my husband and our marriage though not perfect it changed for the best after I learned and adapted this. And I’m also married to a grown man who loves, protects, and respects me. The only women are miserable are these modern women who can’t find a husband
@@chichikito3618 😆
This is a classic 👌 where can I fine a lady with these qualities ❤💯
Hopefully all men will have the wisdom to self-correct. I’m single because they aren’t correcting themselves.
truly
Unfortunately some don’t. They’re immature, don’t know how to be in healthy marriage because all they saw was dysfunction. And their communication sucks🤦🏽♀️but now if you marry a grown man, who want to be married then you have a chance at what marriage is suppose to be like
Get out there and date more so you can find your hubby. Men are starting to step their game up so there are good ones out here. Meanwhile make yourself ready to be a wife. Are you a Proverbs 31 woman?
@@corneliusa.d.3302 What about a Proverbs 31 husband?
Listening to this woman made me relax and calm like they are still this kind of woman out there ❤❤❤
She said she had to learn it!!!
who is this woman
All the people giving her praises forget that even our grandmothers who were not ALLOWED to give inputs or their perspectives to their husbands in the first place still got cheated on and abused. Men will come online and agree and big up such women but it still won't change their actions towards women in real life
THIS‼️
That part. Doing all the “right” things still nets you nothing ladies, most times.
Red flag that she had to _learn_ the _obvious_ . To address people with respect and according to their age. This is common sense if you're raised properly.
Virtue signalling at its finest.
She's suggesting people walk on eggshells around their husband. It's a partnership for a reason, he should appreciate your input, not see it as "correction" . If you were having to 'correct' him that many times, that you've had to change your approach to not hurt his feelings. *You married the wrong one.*
I guess your way is better, with 80% of our children being born to single mothers and 20% of the men fathering most of those children?? This way the mistakes can keep on rolling, right?
Marriage gets you nothing apparently, so it's much better to trust the government, because it always has your best interests at heart and has done so, so much for the black community... Our communities are thriving right now, yet they were disastrous when marriage was a thing... Right? No families, no homes, and every marriage had cheating and abuse... right?
Food stamps and government hand outs are much better than having men about.
Thank you.
Wtf is wrong with correcting your husband 🤷🏽♀️ if he’s wrong you should let him know in a respectable manner and absolutely in private. If he’s going off a cliff your just going to sit there and go with him all in the name of I can’t correct him. WHAT IS GOING ON
The operative words r: "Honor" & "Respect"-him!
Perhaps she means AFTER the mistake is done, the context of her monolingual suggests the mistake has been made, most average intelligence can self correct after the error is observed, that why they say hindsight is 20/20?
Deion🏆 exactly, brilliant comment! She is young, and she is on that worship your man type energy right now because she has not been married long enough to know what she talking about and it is called accountability when in a marriage or a relationship. I completely agree with your comment.
It’s idiotic.
ONLY INSECURE MALES DONT WANT TO BE CORRECT.
My husband and I correct each other all the time, sometimes even in front of other people. This works for us because we’re not a-holes to each other.
No thanks
@@alexandriarona2299 that’s okay. You do you. At the end of our life, we gotta answer to ourselves, so live the best life you can.
Maybe it works for you and not your husband... just saying!
Sounds like he doesn't have a choice. I bet when you correct him Infront of people the rest of the men clap 👏👏👏 that he has a keeper.
@@samuelmutuiri596 LMFAO!! Totally, that happens all the time. When I correct him in front of his friends or mine, I always get applauded for “being his keeper”. LMFAO. How does this apply to being corrected? How am I “his keeper” if I correct him. He doesn’t know everything. I don’t know everything. But with our combined knowledge, we know more together. That’s why we correct each other. Better to be informed than to be ignorant. If your ego is so important that you would rather remain ignorant than have your partner correct you, that’s you, and you gotta live the life you want. All I’m saying is that there are people out there who are okay with being corrected.
I correct my husband in a loving way and he does the same!! It’s called accountability ❤️
I agree. I hear what she's saying but I think it's possible to respectfully correct. NO individual has it ALL figured out. And the weight of the world and the household shouldn't fall entirely on HIS shoulders IMHO.
This comment Section is crazy yall understand she said basically is saying there's a way to go about speaking to your man without disrespecting him as a man you "correct" him through giving him your perspective and discussing the problem at hand then letting him figure that shit out.
Thank you for loving your husband and sharing this valuable point.
Yes. I never tell my boyfriend what to do or demand he does something. When we have conversations I make sure to listen to his concerns and feelings. If he asks what I think about what he plans to do, I give him my opinion but the decision will always be his decision, not mine. That has nothing to do with submission;, that is called loving and respecting him as a grown man who has the right to make his own decisions. But to be fair, he takes my opinions into consideration and things always work out. And just remember: even if his decisions do not always work out, be supportive to him. It is so important to our grown men..and I say grown men. Not dusty, cheating, unappreciative, unhealthy, lazy, abusive, unloving men acting like boys..let's get that clear!!
You are on your way to being a married woman. And that's very special in these days
Right!!
@@garyrichardson7592 doesn't really matter about that
@@NoName-sp5dp I'm going to give it to you biblically don't get mad at the messenger. The holy Bible says get married and be fruitful that means have children. It might not matter to you but it matters to him the one who can send you to hell to heaven do you. Seems to me you have no direction or no rules to follow but God gave us commandments and statues to live by okay
Lovely 🥰 🥰🥰
"Keyword was grown man " 😂
And learn.
💯💯💯
It took her a minute to get here!! I remember seeing a video where she was yelling at her husband. Honestly I’m happy that she did learn because it was a lot of women correcting her in the comments. I truly think babies changed her for the better.
It took my wife a while to learn this but she was willing to making our relationship and I was willing to do whatever it took to make it work too. I learn not be so critical of all her mistakes either.
Can u find the video
Who is she?
@@juneilgoode1022 Dana Chanel
ANNNND she's accused of being a scammer
"We can talk about it and he can self-correct." ✍️
I'm not tip toeing around your ego. I'm gonna directly and respectfully tell you what your doing wrong so you can get it right. A wise king knows he to must take counsel, leadership, and direction from his queen. She can see, feel and tuned into things and situations in ways that you can't. And until men learn this your actually cheating yourself out of a women's full power and potential to elevate you pass the 3D existence. You boys have alot to learn about a women.
All of this reverse psychology for”grown men.” People should tell each other the truth but in love not fear and not manipulation.
I’m going to directly and respectfully tell you to use “you’re” instead of “your” so you can get it right. Also, “past” instead of “pass”. I don’t want you wrong out here! Take care.
@@JM-gc7hz thankyou it's actually not me my phone fills the words in and when I correct it and post it changes it back but thankyou I will remember this next time and thankyou for even taking time to really read my comment and catch all those mistakes glad you got the msg love 😉💜
@@Olivia-vi6yw I definitely get it. My phone auto corrects all the time. Weird things too. Sometimes I’m like how did it get that from what I meant? Ha ha. Take care
This is an excellent wife! Single men if you want a woman like this you need to:
-get down on one knee and actually marry her (without waiting an absurdly long amount of years)
-pay all the bills
-remain faithful to the wife
-protect her from hurt, harm or danger
Exactly
Loving and respecting her ❗❗
This woman is not the norm…she’s the exception…we guys get married all the time…seldom do we come across a woman like this…upon meeting this woman i imagine most guys would want to marry her.
@@wesswood1 she also lacked this hence why she said she had to learn how to
@@wesswood1 yeah right. Grass is always greener, know too many men willing to admit they lost some good ones out here being a pos. Yall act like yall never do any wrong to good women and that's a damn lie.
It's the expression each time she pauses for me. Those expressions, tell the true story.
Go on....
Frowning like somebody's granny😄
I don't doubt it
Exactly. Shes giving him her prospective, trusting him to consider it, not correcting him because hes not s child- which I 100% agree with- but shes still waiting for it to happen. Shes still waiting for the reward of security for being submissive.
🎯
Serious meaningful contemplation
Nooo… my husband is stubborn AF!
I keep telling him how his behaviour something can lead other people to misinterpreted what he means and he snapped and told me… “that’s what they think, I’m responsible for what I say, not what other people understand” 😵💫
That got me quiet for a while 😂
Lol 😂😂😂😂😂 but his right though
🤣🤣🤣 love what he said
She nicely prepared her lines
More realistically, she's probably just well-spoken.
@@40Sec she sure is well spoken and smart. This is how she speaks.
Highly manipulative
@@SG-kp5hi I want to see how she and her husband speak at their trial in the case filed by Pennsylvania against them.
@@azizasingh ?
Words of Wisdom. An a submissive wife will ‘always’ have grace in her marriage. This is what a covenant partner (wife) looks like. This wife ‘understands’ Blessings
Exactly!!! Almost 29 yrs here and stronger than ever, especially after we decided to honor our roles in our marriage and how marriage was designed from the beginning!!
Oh dear, are we going to have to walk on eggshells round men now? I can't cope...what are the rules again...??🤭😬
You should be doing that anyway. Look at the domestic violence rates...
This comment Section is crazy yall understand she said basically is saying there's a way to go about speaking to your man without disrespecting him as a man you "correct" him through giving him your perspective and discussing the problem at hand then letting him figure that shit out.
Beautiful dialog ... allowing a path for 'Self Correct' . Be Blessed 🙏 be awesome 😎😎😎😎😎. Thanks for sharing!
My mom never corrected my dad in front of us. If it happened, it happened behind closed doors. Miss you Dad!!
Holding space for different perspectives and on the spot feedback is something mature people are able to do.
Not addressing right out wrongs in the open can be very damaging to those observing, but this can be thoroughly mitigated by the husband following up with a public self correction/apology.
Leave no appearance of a division or wrongs uncorrected......
@@vtbhoward came here to write just this. Parents should do show every facet of the relationship to their kids. Boasting about your parents never disagreeing might have affected you in a negative way as you'll feel having a differing opinion is wrong and should be avoided so you always acquiesce.
Was your reply for me, @@Lelough_ ? I am unclear about what is being expressed fully by you.
In a way, it seems like we agree that children are better off seeing healthy dialogue, even if parents do not have the same perspective about, or solutions to, an open issue.
Displaying healthy processes to deal with conflict is so important.
Yes, I'm 60+ that's how it happened when we were growing up and you knocked on the their bedroom door if they were in bed, asked their permission to enter, etc. 🤣
Yes this part. You can correct but not in front of the children or the masses. Vice versa for the dad to the mom
“I do not correct my husband” because his ego is so fragile…
💯
🤣Yep, just sit back and watch the show lmao
You are correct! Male egos are for the birds. I love my man, but if he is a drunk or makes the wrong decisions too many times, time's up buddy. However, I won't disrespect him. That's NEVER EVER cool.
Ego, facts! 😂
Red flag that she had to _learn_ the _obvious_ . To address people with respect and according to their age. This is common sense if you're raised properly.
If she was having to 'correct' him that many times, that she had to change her approach to not hurt his feelings. She should know by now. *She married the wrong one.*
My husband asks my opinion on everything important. I tell him mine and then he makes his own decisions. Same for me to him. I ask and he tells me his opinion and I make my own choice and we accept each other’s choices. And because we are best friends later on when one of us realizes that our decision we made was a bad one then we laugh at it and accept what’s happened and move on.
That’s too bad that he doesn’t trust his own instinct. Occasionally I can see somebody asking their wife if it’s a topic that they might be more familiar with but everything ? No I disagree
@@mahatmagandhi7588 ok well geez if you want to get technical about it I meant like big decisions everything that’s important that could change our lives together as a family or a couple.
@@love.wildly.live.fearlessly I am not getting technical I was only replying to your words and you said, "everything" I mean how was I supposed to take it. I took it pretty much literally. Sorry.
@@mahatmagandhi7588 ok I will change the everything to ‘everything important’ so there is no confusion. I’m not his mother He doesn’t ask my opinion on what clothes to wear or if he can go outside.
I understand your point but in one or two particular occasion, your husband never take the lead by telling you what to do when you come to him?
I understand is important to anyone to make his own choice but when your married and truly love someone, as a Man especially, they are some decisions we will must likely don't agree with you and said look you can't do that, do it like that.
👏🏾 this woman just rekindled my hope in American females. This level of wisdom is powerful & rare 😳
The best shorts i have ever watched on what submission should look like!!!
Another episode of tiptoing around men's feelings and ego, which normally they won't do for you. Nothing new under the sun. If he's so fragile he can't hear a simple "But babe, what about.." idk what to tell you. It's like your talking to a child and building their confidence.
👏🏾👊🏾Thank you. If my husband can tell me about myself, he can be told too. This hurting a man’s ego because he can’t take correction or criticism is utter nonsense. A bunch of one sided marriages.
Let me guess....you are single, right? You are a boss beotch and savage Classy, bougie, ratchet Sassy, moody, nasty right. High-value men have no problem listening to a high-value woman giving her intelligent opinion. He loves that. What he doesn't love is the masculine loud "opinion" and emasculating woman like yourself.
Perhaps that phrase that you used is what she means by giving her perspective. Doesn’t have to be about male fragility or tip toeing around him
Went totally over your head. She understand that men want to be great husbands to their wives. Give your man your perspective and let him correct himself. He is your head and you are his rib he loves you and will lay down his life for you if need be, so this is the least you can do. This will keep peace in your marriage. This is something you can talk to your man about and see what he thinks. It's about working together and repeating each others positions. He's blessed for having this woman.
EXACTLY!!! Sheesh ppl are so soft can’t respectfully correct someone ?! 😬 huh?! And ima assume he thinks he’s an “alpha” male but can’t take words on his ego 🙄🤣🤣
Her husband gets off the wrong exit on the way to the airport for their flight and she's like 'hm... it's cool he will figure it out.'
Never
That would never happen
No. She would "offer her perspective" and "allow him to self-correct."
🤣🤣🤣🤣
As in 🙄
Amen 💯 this is how a HEALTHY relationship should be 🌸 Any smart female is going to want to be with a Man she can TRUST to Lead! If you can't TRUST your Man to lead and be a MAN then what's the Point? - She KNOWS her husband well enough to move that way. Thats wassup 💯 And that's why they married..! 🙌
Trust that he sees he's incorrect and corrects it on his own? The stakes ain't high enough if that's the strategy.
I agree with this so much. I have learned to be even more gentle in my sharing and it works beautifully.♥️
That kind of respect is what many men hunger for.
This is the same woman who said she will secretly record him on TV. She's lying here. Don't believe this from her for a second, because she has already PUBLICLY said otherwise more times than she ever as anywhere else.
I've been saying she's capping!!! I know this lady because I was an avid follower and she doesn't talk to her husband this way even on camera and she has said opposite so many times before abd after she popped out two babies. She's switching up. The manosphere community is in a way "trending" and influencers will put and do anything out there to stay relevant. She also has a lot of female followers who might have realized her aggressive behavior doesn't actually work in the dating space and so she's moving with the currency of what's happening right now. She's so masculine in everything that i thought her husband was her friend or a coworker initially. It's so bad.
It all seemed fake to me the minute she opened hr mouth to be honest. It seemed like she was trying too hard. I have no idea who she is BTW.
Yes please look at her body language... says it all
It didn't come out naturally.lol
She's was lookin hard for them words...... "self correcting" sounds like a "u heard what I said"!!
What’s her ig name?
As a man I'll run home to a woman like this !!! True Queen she is a deserves everything in life we honor you !!!
I don’t correct my husband. I correct my husband and describe it as something else.
Did you hear what she said or no…?
Yes. This.
@@ev2175 did you or no…?
Bullseye! I hear what she is saying. But, we live in a society where we dress up ideologies in costumes so they will be less offensive to people. In reality, this practice does nothing but erode us from the inside out. #JustCallItWhatItis
Very much so. And its not a bad thing to correct someone. Avoiding some mistakes keeps you out of poverty or homeless.
If you can’t respectfully correct your husband then that means he has an ego problem. Because it's ok for him to correct you, right?
Exactly. I love when people correct me. At least respectfully. I'm not perfect with all the knowledge.
If my woman has knowledge I don't she needs to tell. Because if she thinks I can't handle it that's the biggest insult
You need to listen to what she is saying more carefully. She is saying that if she feels he is moving in the wrong direction or making a wrong decision, she will respectfully express herself to him, but ultimately the decision is his to make. She is not going to shut him down as if he were a foolish child and tell him no, no, no. Mommy says no. Having final say, carries with it great responsibility. A ship has only one captain. Every couple needs to figure out who the team captain is. Once that happens, all the bickering stops. Most women are not alpha women, so most women don’t want to have to carry the burden of having to making all of the major decisions. But if the woman is truly an alpha woman, then she needs to be the captain. It will be hard to find a man secure enough with himself be comfortable in the roll of supporter but such men do exist.
No, you correct children. You respect adults enough to make natural corrections. The desire to correct comes from a superiority complex that you have the path others should follow. Where seeing another’s failures and trusting they can/will see it on their own is maturity. They could ask of course but that’s a different conversation
@@TheUpsideDownLife It has nothing to do with one feeling "superior" and making someone else feel subordinate! It's about "constructive" correction...and it's not a bad thing. What if that person doesn't know or even feels that they're not wrong, you're just gonna wait for them to "self-correct"?
Correct, a man that can’t accept to have dialogue & discuss. It doesn’t mean “CORRECTING”
I believe that it is OK to correct your husband. BUT, there is definitely a time and a place to do so! I believe you defend your husband in public and correct your husband in private. You NEVER correct your husband in front of friends, family, even the children. But when you two are alone in your bed together, you respectfully mention to your husband that the comment he made today was incorrect or inappropriate, or the word he said today was incorrect. Then the two of you can have a conversation about it. If he agrees with your point of view, great! Now he takes the correction and goes back into the world tomorrow using the correct term or not making the wrong statement again. Or if he disagrees, then you accept it, pray about it, and allow God to correct him by putting him in a situation to prove that you were right all along. You as the woman never have to yell, get angry, or get out of character. Just my beliefs!
As long as you honor and respect him, as a man via your communication, both publicly and privately, you’re on the right path. You should be looking to give your perspective or tell him how you felt about a situation, not tell him how to behave, as you do with a child. In loving you, your husband will hear what you have to say, and make adjustments if necessary. This may be God telling YOU, that you could slightly tweak your approach when dealing with your husband, because none of us are always right all along 🤷
❤ she’s going to have a long marriage with that man it’s all about respect period 💯
There's a lot of nuance when it comes to that word "submit," some women believe it means being some kind of a subordinate or you should never challenge their spouse's reasoning. In my opinion I believe that everyone should sit with their respective spouse and communicate to each other what they expect from them and vice versa. Don't use someone else's definition, develop your own.
Submit is the wrong word. It's too strong of a word. IMO
@@SIFUSAYSRELAX it's not "wrong" it's the perception of the word you may have an issue with. that's why they are in quotations, you can replace it with whatever synonym you please. It's your relationship use words that make you feel comfortable.
@@We_God I don't have an issue with it. Me and mine are good over here. I've never had to ask. It happens naturally. I can see how it could be perceived by a woman..especially a modern woman. Words matter
You can’t make up a definition of a word or that word means nothing. In that case just fine a word that fits.
@@alayhaferron1972 This is absolutely facts and where a lot of issues tend to come from. People just take 2+2 and make it what they want.
You all don't know game when you hear it...
That's not game. There are healthy relationships out there. She is dropping gems. She understands how a man thinks and operates. Remember this is a small thing she is doing for the same man that will lay down his life for her if need be. If a man love his wife, he will always take his wifes perspective, because we understand that women have great perspectives that are different from ours.
@@corneliusa.d.3302 Are you familiar with this couple?
Their relationship is part of their brand, she understands marketing, he always looks dead in the eyes when he's around her she's about the bag by any means necessary.
I'm not in their household but they have been in the public eye for a min now doing interviews, appearances together etc. She seems to definitely wear the pants in the relationship and seems quite dysfunctional and performative irl. But go off on your fantasy soundbite..
Wow🥰 That's powerful. She believe it's her Responsibility To Have the Confidence to give him her perspective 🥰
Thank you all🥰
Yes, to manipulate him into what she wants later. She’s full of it.
@@dcg590 🤣
AGREED. Her perspective is instilled, taught and she obviously had an example given to her, which is a divine blessing.
I needed this at this moment.... I'm very self aware and I def need to just calm down and let go of everything that doesn't matter..
Blake what do you mean
the fuck you talking about
I respect the realization
Part of the problem is that you all create too many situations in your heads.... You're not as self aware as you think if you can't think in the moment. You can't hold every man responsible for one man's mistakes. If you can't let go of the past, you'll never have a future. You'll always be living in delusion...not trying to talk down, only trying to help.
So did I.
I see a lot of people defending her argument by saying “what she actually meant was...” no, she said what she said and meant it. A wife should feel comfortable in her marriage to say to her husbands “you’re wrong.” There’s nothing disrespectful about that. You are equally as important in a marriage. I can’t believe I even have to say this.
Are you married?
I agree with you 💯. And I have been happily married for 23 years
She didn't say that number one. She actually said nothing that was clear actually. Which shows she likely hasn't learned a thing except maybe to tone down the talking to him like a child so blatantly
Nah. Her opinion at the end of the day isn't an objective fact. It's subjective. Just because SHE believes it's objective doesn't mean HE does. And the same vice versa. Her going up to him and telling him that he's wrong completely devalues his perspective and treats him as less than her. You can't command your hubby to change his mind. Her way of treating the relationship leaves her open to change as well and it leaves it open on her own terms and the same vice versa. It's something they work together on. Listening to each other isn't about doing what each other wants, it's to allow themselves to be influenced by each other's words but remain independent and together nonetheless.
Someone still has the final say in decisions in all areas of life. At work all of the employees submit to the will of their employer if they want to remain employed. The trade off is the business owner is responsible for 'taking care of' them by making decisions and working to keep the business afloat and is the one who stands to lose the most if his decisions cause the business to fail. In a marriage a woman can choose to 'submit' to her husband in exchange for handing him the responsibility of taking care of her and the family and shielding them from the realities of a harsh world.
A key prerequisite here is he has to actually be a grown ass fully responsible and strong man ready to lay down his life for his family.
This is simply respect. My husband treats me the same way. He gives me his perspective and he knows I’ll consider it deeply in matters where I have the agency over the outcome.
Some of this male/female tug-of-war is so unnecessary. It’s called respect and it goes both ways. Very simple. Y’all are totally over-complicating this thing. Lol
Agreed
Fakery=over complicating
People are complicated
Exactly!!! Almost 29 yrs here and stronger than ever, especially after we decided to honor our roles in our marriage and how marriage was designed from the beginning!!
@@swiftkarma4436 TRANSLATION: WE tend to complicate things because of our "egos" a.k.a. STUPIDITY and LACK of humility! I agree, life's MUCH easier when we let go of that!
Right that goes both ways, sometimesa man can't only see it his way but I feel the same way I would pray that God shows him himself and his mistake ❤️❤️❤️💯🥰
You and your husband are so lucky to have each other! I hope the best for the both of you God bless
He has scored a lifetime of hell yes real talk every situation is a little easier or a hell of a lot easier with this woman by your side
I don't correct my husband, I just wait for him to self correct? 🤷🏽♀️
I don't eat icecream I just let it slide down my throat.
😂😂
😂 😂 😂!!
Whats in the Red Cup? Gotts ta be Moonshine because Homeboy said "SUBMITTING".😳
She only made sense when she said “I desire to honor & respect him… I’m not going to disrespect… I don’t speak to him like a child”.
She does correct him with her perspective and conversation. It’s how you communicate that initiates self-correction and for the man to filled with love & confidence in his woman to receive all that.
Perspective is not a correction.
Well said.. thanks for the clarification. This was obviously lost to some of the commentators