🤣 my husband is a 7, I’m a 4. I’m bashful and reserved around new people. He once broke the ice at a buffet on a double date by telling the most embarrassing story EVER and then left me alone with these people to grab another plate. I just sat there beet red with hot flashes and an awkward smile. He was completely oblivious about how terrible of an experience that was for me until a year later when we talked about it.
This nails my personality, especially the escape artist part. I have perfected what my friends call "The Sumner Slide", during which I slip out of any situation unnoticed and without regret. i am wary of commitment of any kind which explains my several marriages. I'm charming as hell and generous, but I will almost always choose my needs and desires over any one else's, now that my children are grown. Dreamy World was my childhood, optimism is my creed. I make a great friend and sibling, and I procrastinate habitually.
in a relationship with a 7, we're in an LDR... im a 4, and the last bit resounded so much to me. I feel like im not good enough.. so he just do lots of fun stuff with other ppl, and we rarely do activities together.. not much long conversations either.. he said we'll do a lot of stuff together.. but maybe since we're not.. we're not.. lol. slowly feeling that i could be happier with someone else
"Let's do that! ...unless maybe I forget." This was me before my first iPhone (in my late 30's). Built in reminders and glued to my palm really helped me step up my game. Still, I rarely commit to things in advance because there's a good chance that I just won't feel like it that day, especially if it is something that someone else suggested. If it's something I really should do, like start working out or file my taxes, I'll likely get distracted learning how to convert a 55 gallon drum to a rain barrel, spend hours researching how-to videos, finding supplies, shopping for the right tools, and then fail to bite the bullet at the last minute, instead spending the rest of the day lost in Ikea "researching" my eventual kitchen remodel and coming home late and hungry with a couple of house plants and a cinnamon bun.
As a type 7, I completely agree. If something goes wrong, I'll tell people "one door closed, but three will open!" And when things don't work out for me in the first place, I'm not disappointed, I'm honestly confused and mystified that life didn't go my way.
I’m seven type , I’m 14 years old , I really appreciate all your explanation about sevens , and when you say that we like to learn things that’s very true , I learned 4 lenguajes until now , I did many stuff like that , that’s makes me so happy !!!
"We don't have to move every 4 years" Me who moved 5 times in less than 6 years: 👁👄👁 As a solution I figured to get a mobile house/boat, so I can go whenever I want, wherever I want. "I want her to be happy doing all the things that make me happy" is a reason I ended my previous relationship, I realised they were just going along for the ride, but I wanted to be with someone who wants to go on the same ride and would do it even if I wasn't there.
🤦♂️ This video is embarrassingly accurate in almost every possible way in my life. Thank you for both the affirmation and spotlight straight into my eyeballs
"One of the things about 7's is they get distracted," he says as I walked away from my computer with the video still playing to get some nail polish to paint my nails, turn on my light, put my hair in a ponytail, etc.........*sigh*
"a travel buddy" I laughed so hard! xD That's exactly what my husband said when we began dating and told me what he was looking for in a partner XD This video is so amazing, someone describing my husband to the tee
My ex husband was a type 7. He NEVER planned for the future. Everything was about today. He was also not able to settle and we moved A LOT. He was always changing jobs, changing cars…..It was extremely stressful.
I’m a four and I’ve found profound information from your videos. Although you rub me wrong nearly every time. I know better than to let my personal opinion dominate the helpful information. I had a random thought recently that who am I to judge you for your view of a four when I have not delved into a 7 at all. I’ve asked every person I know. I’m talking all 11 siblings, friends, family, strangers, and people who lend me an ear to take the enneagram. I’ve only ever tested one person as a 7. 1 out of 50. This is me bending over to learn more and judge you less.
Thank you! This is really profound and helpful. I had an intimate involvement with a 7 that just recently came to an end, and gosh, I kind of wish I had this video to reference a year+ ago lol! It's still incredibly useful now, looking back on the whole thing. It's kind of giving me the closure I could never get from him directly.
3 minutes in and when you said "don't like conflict" I realised why I ( 9w1) gravitate towards 7's 😂. The only issue is that 2 people who live in dream land...
My soon to be ex-husband is a 7 and I’m a 2. I think I recall your wife being a 2, right? God, this resonates so much. When it was good it was the best match. At his best my husband is the funnest and most charming person. At his worst he was an indulgent child unable to come to terms with childhood trauma and addiction. “I want her to be happy doing all the things I want to do”. That hit hard. Do you know how many alien abduction stories I have listened to for that guy? Of course, my two spirit had no boundaries and grew very resentful.
I can’t believe how you hit the nail on the head with just about every aspect of ME! I’m a 7w6. You made me laugh, cry and shake my head at different things that you said and were describing me to a tee! I think I need help with sitting with those hard, bad feelings. How do I deal with those feelings that I don’t like? How do I own it when I have done something that has hurt someone because I want them to just forgive and forget and move on like I do? Thanks for this video!
Holy smokes, this is so spot on! I literally talk about exploring life like it's a spiritual buffet! And also I refer to my husband as my Adventure Pal! Where our adventures are our travels around the world... and I do mistake thinking about things for actually getting it done!
I don't think I minimize the wrongs I've done. I do my best to make things right and apologize for what I did. I feel bad when I hurt people, so I do my best to make it up to them.
Me too. That's the worst feeling, to let other people down. 😨😭 But I think I reframe it immediately in my head as "this is a learning experience, I learn from this and I will NEVER do this again, I can't bear to hurt people, it's so painful and the lesson I've learned today will help me avoid this pain in the future" And I prioritize making it up to that person. However, I don't always feel bad when other people *think* I've done something wrong. And that's when I minimize it. Example: I let my daughter invite 4 kids to her party, and my friend's daughter isn't on that list. My friend might be hurt by this, but while I feel for her and her daughter, I also don't think it's something worth being upset about and I don't want to apologize for having a manageable sized party. Sometimes you're not invited, sometimes you are. It's natural to feel disappointed, but that's life. Personally I think it's a great way for kids to practice dealing with disappointment and don't see it as a wrong, so I probably seem like I'm minimizing the "insult". (I live in an area where one culture treats birthday parties as "siblings of the invited child, random neighbourhood children, my nephew's teacher, everyone is welcome!" and the other is "the ones who were invited are welcome, that's it", so this comes up.)
I'm a 7w8 and so is my boyfriend of 4 years. Honestly we are like twins, I get his weird and he gets mine. I think our biggest problem and the problem with many 7 and 7 relationships is "shared gluttony" we egg each other on and sometimes have no off switch. But I would never change a thing. We operate a bit like one person and do EVERYTHING together
Hey Kerry! Me and my boyfriend are the exact same. We’ve only been together for a few months but I’m wondering if you have an update? I’ve seen a lot of things saying that double seven relationships are not that successful but I like seeing stories like yours that are. :)
@@Maximilianizm thats awesome, I think a lot of people tend to stereotype 7s a fair bit. And every relationship is different, I just feel for us we couldn't be with anyone but another 7 :). So as an update we did actually buy a house together and are still very happy. I guess our seveny way of diffusing any tension is obviously with humour, it makes us laugh and reminds us what is really important and that the thing we are upset about isn't so serious. I'm also so glad to hear there are some other 7 and 7 couples out there :)
"If you need more friends in your life, make friends with a 7" Yup, I'm the go to guy for new people in church. the aftercomments he said about the cat, oooof too real, I feel attacked. "Remember the time you had diarrhoea??! 🤣🤣🤣" cracked me up, yup, been there.
“ I want her to be happy, doing all the things that make me happy”. no truer statement was ever made..... Super difficult for a 9 (with literally no wings) to handle all that doing. It’s literally exhausting. I am married to a 7, I don’t know how much more I can take.
@Pauline Weiße Really great ideas if he were self aware and up for improvement. Sadly, he’s a rather unhealthy 7 that is super selfish and resistant to change, or even except the fact that i am wired differently.
14:50 as a social countertype 7, I want all these things and then end up not doing them and resenting anybody that wouldn’t “let” me do those things. 😭
My husband is a Type 5 but as I listened to this video I saw soooooo many traits of 7 in my spouse. I'm starting to think 🤔 that he's either a healthy 7 (always at 5) or a very unhealthy 5 (always at 7) lbs 😅
This is like me, too. I settled on 5 because I sometimes go to 8 but very rarely act anything like a 1. Also spent much more time at 7 when I was younger, more insecure and ashamed of my "boring" 5 self - 7s have much better public image!
25:34 😂 So true. I'm (7w6) so inept at the socially graceful compliment, but the positive intention shines through. Kind of like a homemade pie with the wonky crust vs the factory made pie. Mine tastes better, but it wouldn't win any beauty prize! (And the boutique bakery does it better, of course. On the other hand, I'm doing the best I can, and it is usually well received. Sometimes they laugh before they eat it and that's okay too) Oof, yes I do struggle with the enthusiastic steamrolling of my friends into things that I think are amazing and interesting. I am aware of this and try not to, but it's hard to balance that vs withholding obsessive interests and unpleasant emotions so as to not bother people. And I can go too far that way as well. Oh. You said that. 😊 You obviously have been watching me, this was almost a complete snapshot of my life. It's good to know that I'm average to healthy, since I don't relate to the unhealthy 7 stuff. I usually feel pretty immature compared to the people around me and maybe it's just that I'm not around any other 7s.😢 (Except my oldest child... He's exhausting but FUN, and I think I recognize another 7 in him)
The only thing I don't struggle with is the need to leave and find something else. I use to do that when I was younger and in a much unhealthier mental state. Now when I want to go out and make plans I like to stick to the plan. I actually get upset when other people don't show up or leave without a goodbye. I don't minding someone doesn't want to come ,but a heads up is really appreciated. Especially when I have set things up.
spot on, our ideal mate is another 7. I work remotely, we met in a pub in Brazil drinking beer and watching football. Both lived on many continents and had multiple jobs. What was repulsive to another types was highly attractive to him in me, both life of the party
I watched this again, must have seen it a few times over the years.. and its still reminding me of the embarrasing egoism and impatience of the type 7, and how much Im like that. Still wanting to remain innocent and positive about myself, while knowing that my behavior is often sometimes just erratic and egoistic. Its really a powerful way we 7s can use our power of charm to charm and disarm even (and mostly) ourselves!
"Thank you so much for your kind words and feedback! It means a lot to me. If you ever feel like diving deeper into these topics or seeking personalized guidance, I'm here to help. You can find more details on my website. Wishing you all the best on your journey! 💡"
I have so many ideas it’s crazy. I am constantly reframing and by the time I realize I am I would be far too gone to remember how I felt. Probably why I repeat the same mistakes lol. I hate winter because I can’t go out 🤣
Your videos are really great content and source to learn and study more about myself. I am type 3, probably 3w2. My boyfriend is type 7. Those types are very different and I don't know if you notice but you made a list in the end of the video (about 3) to 3 on what they could improve, otherwise about 7 I feel like you left us a list for how we (partners) can help 7. I don't know if in some way it could sound like 3 doesn't want help or that 7 couldn't help themselves, which I believe it's not true and you don't see in that way either. But I feel it's important to say that as a note. Don't take that bad, I am a 3 and always trying to make people who I like improve, and your videos are great!
I’m a 7. I actually don’t want to be a 7 but it’s too accurate to ignore. I feel badly about forgetting the troubles I hear that others have bc I actually do forget it the next day and forget to follow up.
I used to write stuff down in a note book after speaking to people. Just what's going on in their lives. And then I'd look at that before seeing them again. I was aware that it was super creepy, especially when it was mostly acquaintances/distant friends, but... Those are the people I couldn't remember stuff about! I kept my "stalker journal" verrrry secret because of how it might look, but it was very helpful to make me a better friend!
Wow, this is so interesting! I am a 9w1 but I relate to 7s so much as well! God, I really love 7s, they can be so energizing and optimistic, and kind too:)) (of course, sometimes they can also be a bit too much, but that's my problem I guess:D) Much love to you, all 7s
Growing with 7 parent and having 7 friends, I can say under they mask, they are very discontented and dissatisfied. Sometimes I want to ask “ do you have ants in your pants?” It can be a big source of pain for people who are close to them. Also, they are totally unreliable when problems and just life happen.
I am a type 1 and my ex is a type 7. Whenever the kids want the “fun” parent, he’s great. Whenever it comes to real life, listening to problems, fixing issues, I’m the only one they come to.
My daughter does this eliminating authority by friending.. by being hella cute and instead of asking for permission for the snack she wants, she comes and brings me the thing and says, here mommy, I brought this for you. and then sits next to me and eats it with me. She's not, not clever. :D
“Like you’re saying no to the other 100 options.” The most 7 thing ever said. We are the worst decision makers of all time… because what if that other option was better??? Even ordering food can take an hour.
Since 1 is body, 4 is connection, and 7 is mind you could try to think of what truly motivates you. Is it, physical connection and physical activities and your physical environment, your social group and the quality of your social interactions, or your quest for knowledge and mental experiences and also, yes fear. All types feel all of these, it's just the certain types that feel one of those the most. Also what I said might just help determine what type of 1, 4, or 7 you are but it should be a step in the right direction
Funny that you say we have no connection to 9. I always test very high in 9 and 5 and my brother is a 9 so I do think I might have some 9 traits. But you're so spot on with that video. I feel very seen and appreciate it.
I always test high in 9 and 2. I definitely go along to get along, and I do lots of things to help other people because I want them to do well! But I'm definitely a 7, this is spot on.
Yes.i have a 1 wing as a 9....love 7s a lot however find them selfish 😢 because it is always about self ....it's important to consider others thoughts and feelings too.❤
16:30 im a 5w6, my wife is a 7 (probably w6). It took 16 years of marriage before i was sometimes even allowed to be upset at her. She would get mad at me just for being upset at her and would attack me. And im very much a five, it takes a lot to recognize that im upset and that it is worth facing her wrath and the energy drain that the conversation would take... I didnt bother very often. Its tough, but we have both come a long way. Ive been learning about personality types to help hack my relationship with myself, my partner, my parents, and other people. So, thank you.
This video got me ready to go do the things I'm not excited about, so thank you. (7w6) Edited because I literally said "excited to go do..." and I'm not but that's the point lol. I am still looking forward to doing them in a way.
I am a 7 and both my life and personality is very seven-ish because I feel like I even swing by back and forth from wing 8 to 6. Universe is in constant motion right? So do I 😅
Okay- question about 7s in relationship- I hear commitment is difficult because of saying no to all the other options/adventures available. So- if this commitment-phobic 7 is also a Christian, committed to purity (meaning all the other “adventures” available to him are extremely limited to what kind of adventure they can go on), do they change their focus and become more motivated to commit to one (more complete and satisfying) adventure- or would they still be struggling with wanting to taste and see everything romantically? How does a relationship with Christ and faith effect the nuances of this personality?
I think so. We explore beyond the known boundaries of creativity. New possibilities, new ideas, new combinations of known elements. We want it all! Endlessly! (Until we crash.)
Hi Dr Tom! I love your videos 🙏 How to overcome fear of commitment for 7s? Im a female 7w8 ENFJ, I have amazing relationships and although I want to get married, I’m subconsciously terrified of it.
It’s been a worst period of my life being multi-talented and having to have to choose from the pool of opportunities, let him live and don’t interrupt, he has to try it on his own and figure this out
At the very end of this video, you made a very off hand remark about one’s being mad and frustrated by doing the right thing. Actually that shows your inability (as a typical seven) to not care to understand someone else’s viewpoint or situation. One’s thrive on doing what’s right - it doesn’t make them mad. It’s the seven’s that get mad and frustrated because they are needing to be mature and act responsible - and they resent that they have to. To sum it up - seven’s are extremely self centered. Not that it’s wrong to want to have fun, but when you refuse to “grow up” there’s a problem. Where’s the balance between having fun and noticing others have needs as well? The world does not revolve around you even though you believe it should. What I’m hearing from you is a complete inability to consider other people - you think it’s funny, but in reality it’s sad.
that remark could be interpreted in a few different ways. one way is as a reference to how a 1 might develop resentment when they perceive that others do not value doing the “right” and fair thing (in this case, going along with what the group wanted and staying home instead of going off on their own) or reciprocating in the future. alternatively, he could be pointing out an external visual similarity between a 7 sitting at home not able to do what they want to do and a 1 swallowing their anger and resentment because it feels wrong to let it out and might impede their ability to observe and discern. another interpretation still could be what you suggested, which is valid, but a bit uncharitable. (i say this as a 1 myself)
You didn't listen. He said "doing the right thing like a 1", when doing things purely out of duty is miserable for 7s. I totally have to reframe my duties as joys. It's usually pretty easy if I really do think it's the right thing to do. Like, raising babies and toddlers and protecting their naps, providing routine, etc, that can feel stultifying. However, looking at it another way, it's a blessing and hilarious and I loved it. When I was playing another round of bingo with my 2yo and would get bored, I'd just sink into the moment and adore her curls and her fat little fingers and admire how much she was learning and then it wasn't so hard to sit there and do this pointless game because it wasn't pointless anymore. But sitting home all afternoon and evening on a Sunday because my 5 husband is tired and wants to "recharge" by being in the room with me without speaking...AHHH! I'll do it, because I know he needs it, but I hate it so much, and will probably excuse myself to cry with despair at some point during the day, and will start the week completely exhausted.
🤣 my husband is a 7, I’m a 4. I’m bashful and reserved around new people. He once broke the ice at a buffet on a double date by telling the most embarrassing story EVER and then left me alone with these people to grab another plate. I just sat there beet red with hot flashes and an awkward smile. He was completely oblivious about how terrible of an experience that was for me until a year later when we talked about it.
I feel both exposed and deeply understood 🙏💙
This nails my personality, especially the escape artist part. I have perfected what my friends call "The Sumner Slide", during which I slip out of any situation unnoticed and without regret. i am wary of commitment of any kind which explains my several marriages. I'm charming as hell and generous, but I will almost always choose my needs and desires over any one else's, now that my children are grown. Dreamy World was my childhood, optimism is my creed. I make a great friend and sibling, and I procrastinate habitually.
that bit about charming our way out IS SO ACCURATE
What does a Type 7 want in a companion? A Travel Buddy!!😊❤️😊
EXACTLY! 👏
You Bet!
He’s not wrong 😂😂😂
in a relationship with a 7, we're in an LDR... im a 4, and the last bit resounded so much to me. I feel like im not good enough.. so he just do lots of fun stuff with other ppl, and we rarely do activities together.. not much long conversations either.. he said we'll do a lot of stuff together.. but maybe since we're not.. we're not.. lol. slowly feeling that i could be happier with someone else
Yup! When I think of a partner/companion, the #1 thing that comes up for me is a TRAVEL/ADVENTURE BUDDY! 💖💫🤗
"Let's do that! ...unless maybe I forget." This was me before my first iPhone (in my late 30's). Built in reminders and glued to my palm really helped me step up my game. Still, I rarely commit to things in advance because there's a good chance that I just won't feel like it that day, especially if it is something that someone else suggested. If it's something I really should do, like start working out or file my taxes, I'll likely get distracted learning how to convert a 55 gallon drum to a rain barrel, spend hours researching how-to videos, finding supplies, shopping for the right tools, and then fail to bite the bullet at the last minute, instead spending the rest of the day lost in Ikea "researching" my eventual kitchen remodel and coming home late and hungry with a couple of house plants and a cinnamon bun.
As a type 7, I completely agree. If something goes wrong, I'll tell people "one door closed, but three will open!" And when things don't work out for me in the first place, I'm not disappointed, I'm honestly confused and mystified that life didn't go my way.
thank you! my wife is a 7, i can't imagine getting her to watch this, but I learned a lot :) 5 here.
I’m seven type , I’m 14 years old , I really appreciate all your explanation about sevens , and when you say that we like to learn things that’s very true , I learned 4 lenguajes until now , I did many stuff like that , that’s makes me so happy !!!
"We don't have to move every 4 years"
Me who moved 5 times in less than 6 years: 👁👄👁
As a solution I figured to get a mobile house/boat, so I can go whenever I want, wherever I want.
"I want her to be happy doing all the things that make me happy" is a reason I ended my previous relationship, I realised they were just going along for the ride, but I wanted to be with someone who wants to go on the same ride and would do it even if I wasn't there.
Exactly to me 2 years is too long already 😂
🤦♂️ This video is embarrassingly accurate in almost every possible way in my life. Thank you for both the affirmation and spotlight straight into my eyeballs
I'm here for you.
@@twlahue,your talks are so soothing...m touched.
From 9wing1
"One of the things about 7's is they get distracted," he says as I walked away from my computer with the video still playing to get some nail polish to paint my nails, turn on my light, put my hair in a ponytail, etc.........*sigh*
"a travel buddy" I laughed so hard! xD That's exactly what my husband said when we began dating and told me what he was looking for in a partner XD This video is so amazing, someone describing my husband to the tee
My ex husband was a type 7. He NEVER planned for the future. Everything was about today. He was also not able to settle and we moved A LOT. He was always changing jobs, changing cars…..It was extremely stressful.
I’m a four and I’ve found profound information from your videos. Although you rub me wrong nearly every time. I know better than to let my personal opinion dominate the helpful information. I had a random thought recently that who am I to judge you for your view of a four when I have not delved into a 7 at all. I’ve asked every person I know. I’m talking all 11 siblings, friends, family, strangers, and people who lend me an ear to take the enneagram. I’ve only ever tested one person as a 7. 1 out of 50. This is me bending over to learn more and judge you less.
I've watched so many of your type 7 videos, and there is so much gold there that I pretty much write down everything you say
Wow, thanks for the kind words...
I feel tom is always harder on 7s
@@ashwinkrishnanpc7555
But it was so accurate. Are you a 7? My husband is an enneagram 7.
This video helped me so much ♥️
I'm sure this man don't know my husband, but why he talked about my husband's behavior in 58 minutes long??
Thank you! This is really profound and helpful. I had an intimate involvement with a 7 that just recently came to an end, and gosh, I kind of wish I had this video to reference a year+ ago lol! It's still incredibly useful now, looking back on the whole thing. It's kind of giving me the closure I could never get from him directly.
3 minutes in and when you said "don't like conflict" I realised why I ( 9w1) gravitate towards 7's 😂. The only issue is that 2 people who live in dream land...
As an often too-serious One, God bless Sevens.
My soon to be ex-husband is a 7 and I’m a 2. I think I recall your wife being a 2, right? God, this resonates so much. When it was good it was the best match. At his best my husband is the funnest and most charming person. At his worst he was an indulgent child unable to come to terms with childhood trauma and addiction. “I want her to be happy doing all the things I want to do”. That hit hard. Do you know how many alien abduction stories I have listened to for that guy? Of course, my two spirit had no boundaries and grew very resentful.
So sorry. Thanks for sharing this.
Substitute "alien abduction" for "enneagram" and BOOM! That's me!
I can’t believe how you hit the nail on the head with just about every aspect of ME! I’m a 7w6. You made me laugh, cry and shake my head at different things that you said and were describing me to a tee! I think I need help with sitting with those hard, bad feelings. How do I deal with those feelings that I don’t like? How do I own it when I have done something that has hurt someone because I want them to just forgive and forget and move on like I do? Thanks for this video!
Glat to help. Blessings
Holy smokes, this is so spot on! I literally talk about exploring life like it's a spiritual buffet! And also I refer to my husband as my Adventure Pal! Where our adventures are our travels around the world... and I do mistake thinking about things for actually getting it done!
As a seven, this is some of the most enjoyable stuff I've ever listened to. Thank you!
I don't think I minimize the wrongs I've done. I do my best to make things right and apologize for what I did. I feel bad when I hurt people, so I do my best to make it up to them.
Me too. That's the worst feeling, to let other people down. 😨😭
But I think I reframe it immediately in my head as "this is a learning experience, I learn from this and I will NEVER do this again, I can't bear to hurt people, it's so painful and the lesson I've learned today will help me avoid this pain in the future"
And I prioritize making it up to that person.
However, I don't always feel bad when other people *think* I've done something wrong. And that's when I minimize it. Example: I let my daughter invite 4 kids to her party, and my friend's daughter isn't on that list. My friend might be hurt by this, but while I feel for her and her daughter, I also don't think it's something worth being upset about and I don't want to apologize for having a manageable sized party. Sometimes you're not invited, sometimes you are. It's natural to feel disappointed, but that's life. Personally I think it's a great way for kids to practice dealing with disappointment and don't see it as a wrong, so I probably seem like I'm minimizing the "insult". (I live in an area where one culture treats birthday parties as "siblings of the invited child, random neighbourhood children, my nephew's teacher, everyone is welcome!" and the other is "the ones who were invited are welcome, that's it", so this comes up.)
I'm a 7w8 and so is my boyfriend of 4 years. Honestly we are like twins, I get his weird and he gets mine. I think our biggest problem and the problem with many 7 and 7 relationships is "shared gluttony" we egg each other on and sometimes have no off switch. But I would never change a thing. We operate a bit like one person and do EVERYTHING together
Hey Kerry! Me and my boyfriend are the exact same. We’ve only been together for a few months but I’m wondering if you have an update? I’ve seen a lot of things saying that double seven relationships are not that successful but I like seeing stories like yours that are. :)
@@Maximilianizm thats awesome, I think a lot of people tend to stereotype 7s a fair bit. And every relationship is different, I just feel for us we couldn't be with anyone but another 7 :). So as an update we did actually buy a house together and are still very happy. I guess our seveny way of diffusing any tension is obviously with humour, it makes us laugh and reminds us what is really important and that the thing we are upset about isn't so serious. I'm also so glad to hear there are some other 7 and 7 couples out there :)
So the far best video on 7s! Describes 7s in such depth! Thank you!
I’m an 8w7 and this honestly helped a lot, but am looking forward even more to next week!
Best RUclips videos for my personality... I'm the Ultimate Type 7!
"If you need more friends in your life, make friends with a 7"
Yup, I'm the go to guy for new people in church.
the aftercomments he said about the cat, oooof too real, I feel attacked.
"Remember the time you had diarrhoea??! 🤣🤣🤣"
cracked me up, yup, been there.
“ I want her to be happy, doing all the things that make me happy”. no truer statement was ever made..... Super difficult for a 9 (with literally no wings) to handle all that doing. It’s literally exhausting. I am married to a 7, I don’t know how much more I can take.
@Pauline Weiße Really great ideas if he were self aware and up for improvement. Sadly, he’s a rather unhealthy 7 that is super selfish and resistant to change, or even except the fact that i am wired differently.
This video is cringe and attacking. I like it.
*Slowly fades away*
I'm not sure if its because I'm a 7, but I really didn't see anything negative about this video or enneagram 7s! 😂
I feel you
Haaaa….unicorn status 7
14:50 as a social countertype 7, I want all these things and then end up not doing them and resenting anybody that wouldn’t “let” me do those things. 😭
THIS! So recognisable :O
You sound like you struggle with that just like my husband
My husband is a Type 5 but as I listened to this video I saw soooooo many traits of 7 in my spouse. I'm starting to think 🤔 that he's either a healthy 7 (always at 5) or a very unhealthy 5 (always at 7) lbs 😅
This is like me, too. I settled on 5 because I sometimes go to 8 but very rarely act anything like a 1. Also spent much more time at 7 when I was younger, more insecure and ashamed of my "boring" 5 self - 7s have much better public image!
This whole video had me all giggly the whole time. Lmao. Im a 7 😅
I’ve never felt so understood and called out at the same time 😅😂
My mom's a 7 and everything you say is spot-on! Thanks Dr Tom.
Nice. Thanks.
Me cleaning the house and getting distracted by this video 😅
25:34 😂 So true. I'm (7w6) so inept at the socially graceful compliment, but the positive intention shines through.
Kind of like a homemade pie with the wonky crust vs the factory made pie. Mine tastes better, but it wouldn't win any beauty prize! (And the boutique bakery does it better, of course. On the other hand, I'm doing the best I can, and it is usually well received. Sometimes they laugh before they eat it and that's okay too)
Oof, yes I do struggle with the enthusiastic steamrolling of my friends into things that I think are amazing and interesting. I am aware of this and try not to, but it's hard to balance that vs withholding obsessive interests and unpleasant emotions so as to not bother people. And I can go too far that way as well.
Oh. You said that. 😊 You obviously have been watching me, this was almost a complete snapshot of my life. It's good to know that I'm average to healthy, since I don't relate to the unhealthy 7 stuff. I usually feel pretty immature compared to the people around me and maybe it's just that I'm not around any other 7s.😢 (Except my oldest child... He's exhausting but FUN, and I think I recognize another 7 in him)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It's wonderful to connect with viewers who truly understand the message.
😂so accurate I’m laughing. I’m a 7. Kinda lucky I married a 6. Or he’s lucky Thanks for making it so clear! And joyful!
This video brought me to tears.
I should sit in silence and lean in to sadness some time.
My tritype’s 5 disintegrates to 7 often, I think.
The only thing I don't struggle with is the need to leave and find something else. I use to do that when I was younger and in a much unhealthier mental state. Now when I want to go out and make plans I like to stick to the plan. I actually get upset when other people don't show up or leave without a goodbye. I don't minding someone doesn't want to come ,but a heads up is really appreciated. Especially when I have set things up.
spot on, our ideal mate is another 7. I work remotely, we met in a pub in Brazil drinking beer and watching football. Both lived on many continents and had multiple jobs. What was repulsive to another types was highly attractive to him in me, both life of the party
We like it when we can shareee the experience
I watched this again, must have seen it a few times over the years.. and its still reminding me of the embarrasing egoism and impatience of the type 7, and how much Im like that. Still wanting to remain innocent and positive about myself, while knowing that my behavior is often sometimes just erratic and egoistic. Its really a powerful way we 7s can use our power of charm to charm and disarm even (and mostly) ourselves!
"Thank you so much for your kind words and feedback! It means a lot to me. If you ever feel like diving deeper into these topics or seeking personalized guidance, I'm here to help. You can find more details on my website. Wishing you all the best on your journey! 💡"
THIS IS REALLY GOOD- MY MAN IS A 7 AND THIS HELPS
This is brilliantly accurate. Describes my life so well 😂
This is so hilarious and so spot on for this seven 😂. Thank You.
Glad you enjoyed it!
I am married to a 1 and this video resonated so much! I found that when he goes to “healthy 7” he is so much happier and relaxed.
that gives me a lot of hope. i’m a 1, my partner is a 7. it’s a rewarding struggle to walk along that healthy 7 growth path
I have so many ideas it’s crazy. I am constantly reframing and by the time I realize I am I would be far too gone to remember how I felt. Probably why I repeat the same mistakes lol. I hate winter because I can’t go out 🤣
Thankfully, the winter doesn't stop me!
LOL I hate winter too!!
Your videos are really great content and source to learn and study more about myself. I am type 3, probably 3w2. My boyfriend is type 7. Those types are very different and I don't know if you notice but you made a list in the end of the video (about 3) to 3 on what they could improve, otherwise about 7 I feel like you left us a list for how we (partners) can help 7. I don't know if in some way it could sound like 3 doesn't want help or that 7 couldn't help themselves, which I believe it's not true and you don't see in that way either. But I feel it's important to say that as a note. Don't take that bad, I am a 3 and always trying to make people who I like improve, and your videos are great!
I’m a 7. I actually don’t want to be a 7 but it’s too accurate to ignore. I feel badly about forgetting the troubles I hear that others have bc I actually do forget it the next day and forget to follow up.
I used to write stuff down in a note book after speaking to people. Just what's going on in their lives. And then I'd look at that before seeing them again. I was aware that it was super creepy, especially when it was mostly acquaintances/distant friends, but... Those are the people I couldn't remember stuff about!
I kept my "stalker journal" verrrry secret because of how it might look, but it was very helpful to make me a better friend!
Wow, this is so interesting! I am a 9w1 but I relate to 7s so much as well! God, I really love 7s, they can be so energizing and optimistic, and kind too:)) (of course, sometimes they can also be a bit too much, but that's my problem I guess:D) Much love to you, all 7s
I thought I was a 9w8 but am now realizing I am actually a 7w8.
Same here from 9w1.i like 7's 😅
Trying to listen to you but get distracted reading comments :)
Haha me too!
Growing with 7 parent and having 7 friends, I can say under they mask, they are very discontented and dissatisfied. Sometimes I want to ask “ do you have ants in your pants?” It can be a big source of pain for people who are close to them.
Also, they are totally unreliable when problems and just life happen.
I am a type 1 and my ex is a type 7. Whenever the kids want the “fun” parent, he’s great. Whenever it comes to real life, listening to problems, fixing issues, I’m the only one they come to.
Lol wow that was funny and awesome 😎 thank you!!!!! 🥳
My daughter does this eliminating authority by friending.. by being hella cute and instead of asking for permission for the snack she wants, she comes and brings me the thing and says, here mommy, I brought this for you. and then sits next to me and eats it with me.
She's not, not clever. :D
LMAO I did that as a kid as well haha
Wooow Ive done it by being my teachers fave pupil and same at work now, befriending my managers so I can do whatever I want
As a 7 I have only broke up with one person. I think it’s been, you will have to start this pain not me. (That might not be loyalty though. )
I find that i am a 7w6 but a bit more introverted when feeling people dont like me or get irritated by me so i tend to stay to myself.
“Like you’re saying no to the other 100 options.” The most 7 thing ever said. We are the worst decision makers of all time… because what if that other option was better??? Even ordering food can take an hour.
The struggle is real.
@@twlahue, Sorry for that....
I thought I was a 1, but I identify with a lot of the 7. I identify with 4s too.
Look into the arrows of 1, which go to 4 and 7. May be helpful.
Since 1 is body, 4 is connection, and 7 is mind you could try to think of what truly motivates you. Is it, physical connection and physical activities and your physical environment, your social group and the quality of your social interactions, or your quest for knowledge and mental experiences and also, yes fear. All types feel all of these, it's just the certain types that feel one of those the most. Also what I said might just help determine what type of 1, 4, or 7 you are but it should be a step in the right direction
Funny that you say we have no connection to 9. I always test very high in 9 and 5 and my brother is a 9 so I do think I might have some 9 traits. But you're so spot on with that video. I feel very seen and appreciate it.
I always test high in 9 and 2. I definitely go along to get along, and I do lots of things to help other people because I want them to do well!
But I'm definitely a 7, this is spot on.
This is a great video! I felt so see through watching this video. But also connected.
Would an (occasionally unhealthy) type 7 appear to be narcissistic to a type 1. And are they wrong?
Yes.i have a 1 wing as a 9....love 7s a lot however find them selfish 😢 because it is always about self ....it's important to consider others thoughts and feelings too.❤
16:30 im a 5w6, my wife is a 7 (probably w6). It took 16 years of marriage before i was sometimes even allowed to be upset at her. She would get mad at me just for being upset at her and would attack me. And im very much a five, it takes a lot to recognize that im upset and that it is worth facing her wrath and the energy drain that the conversation would take... I didnt bother very often.
Its tough, but we have both come a long way. Ive been learning about personality types to help hack my relationship with myself, my partner, my parents, and other people.
So, thank you.
I feel so seen right now (7w6 social here)
This video got me ready to go do the things I'm not excited about, so thank you. (7w6)
Edited because I literally said "excited to go do..." and I'm not but that's the point lol. I am still looking forward to doing them in a way.
You got this!
So grateful for you. Lots of prayers from Egypt 💐
Thank you so much!
My tri type is 783
ENTP
My poor 9 and 2 parents. I was too crazy for them.
I am a 7 and both my life and personality is very seven-ish because I feel like I even swing by back and forth from wing 8 to 6. Universe is in constant motion right? So do I 😅
Do 7’s tend to commit infidelity frequently? My husband is a 7 and has cheated twice in the 23 years we’ve been together.
Okay- question about 7s in relationship-
I hear commitment is difficult because of saying no to all the other options/adventures available.
So- if this commitment-phobic 7 is also a Christian, committed to purity (meaning all the other “adventures” available to him are extremely limited to what kind of adventure they can go on), do they change their focus and become more motivated to commit to one (more complete and satisfying) adventure- or would they still be struggling with wanting to taste and see everything romantically?
How does a relationship with Christ and faith effect the nuances of this personality?
7 are Renaissance-souls, isnt it like that?
Can you elaborate on this?
I think so. We explore beyond the known boundaries of creativity. New possibilities, new ideas, new combinations of known elements. We want it all! Endlessly! (Until we crash.)
Yes I speak 6 languages, I was both great at humanities and science, working at pharma industry now, learning for us is extremely easy and effortless
Another excellent video Dr LaHue! Some parts resonated with my 7 wing. 8w7
That is cool.
im a 4w3 and my fiancé is a 7w8.... TALKING ABOUT YING AND YANG LOL
You are a blessing 🙏🏾 I'm a 7
omg i was waiting for this one
haha you exposed me dr tom!
Hi Dr Tom! I love your videos 🙏 How to overcome fear of commitment for 7s? Im a female 7w8 ENFJ, I have amazing relationships and although I want to get married, I’m subconsciously terrified of it.
What number is your partner ?
2/15/22. I’m a 5/6w 7/ 6w and an 8/ 6w and love it. I agree pretty much 85%. Great stuff. I fly as a hobby gee what a surprise lol.
I always ask dates to climb a tree with me as a test. Any polyamorous 7s out there?! 😅
Thanks
I'm a 5 and struggle a lot with the wounds I' ve got from a playing 7 not understanding right from the start that I am not playing
i'm a type 7!!
Thank you Loved your video
My son (19) is a 7. It’s been so hard to help him transition into adulthood and responsibilities. Any tips?
If you figure it out let me know, I’m 40. My wife is more responsible and holds the money, that has helped a lot.
Woof get him a therapist asap
-a 31 yr old 7
It’s been a worst period of my life being multi-talented and having to have to choose from the pool of opportunities, let him live and don’t interrupt, he has to try it on his own and figure this out
Omg I am so a seven 😹
Im waiting for type 8 video
Please write a book for teens!
Nope. This 5w4 would not be interested in friendship with a 7. Over-share a secret of mine and my door will slam in your face forever.
Not all of us are like that. I work diligently to honorably and ethically hold boundaries. It's the mature expression.
It helps a lot
Very interested in what is your life partners type???
My wife is a SX 2w1
I tested 8. Recognised 8 and thought I was 8w7 but now listening to the 8 and 7 in love I feel confused… I might be a 7w8 🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️😬😐
Sometimes figuring out your specific type can be tricky...just stick with it.
@@twlahue Thanks so much!
To me you are the expert! 🙏🏾✨
I'm a 7w8...all this is so dead on its bizarre!!!
My kids are teenagers and I’m depressed
The struggle is real.
At the very end of this video, you made a very off hand remark about one’s being mad and frustrated by doing the right thing. Actually that shows your inability (as a typical seven) to not care to understand someone else’s viewpoint or situation. One’s thrive on doing what’s right - it doesn’t make them mad. It’s the seven’s that get mad and frustrated because they are needing to be mature and act responsible - and they resent that they have to. To sum it up - seven’s are extremely self centered. Not that it’s wrong to want to have fun, but when you refuse to “grow up” there’s a problem. Where’s the balance between having fun and noticing others have needs as well? The world does not revolve around you even though you believe it should. What I’m hearing from you is a complete inability to consider other people - you think it’s funny, but in reality it’s sad.
that remark could be interpreted in a few different ways. one way is as a reference to how a 1 might develop resentment when they perceive that others do not value doing the “right” and fair thing (in this case, going along with what the group wanted and staying home instead of going off on their own) or reciprocating in the future. alternatively, he could be pointing out an external visual similarity between a 7 sitting at home not able to do what they want to do and a 1 swallowing their anger and resentment because it feels wrong to let it out and might impede their ability to observe and discern. another interpretation still could be what you suggested, which is valid, but a bit uncharitable. (i say this as a 1 myself)
You didn't listen. He said "doing the right thing like a 1", when doing things purely out of duty is miserable for 7s.
I totally have to reframe my duties as joys. It's usually pretty easy if I really do think it's the right thing to do. Like, raising babies and toddlers and protecting their naps, providing routine, etc, that can feel stultifying. However, looking at it another way, it's a blessing and hilarious and I loved it. When I was playing another round of bingo with my 2yo and would get bored, I'd just sink into the moment and adore her curls and her fat little fingers and admire how much she was learning and then it wasn't so hard to sit there and do this pointless game because it wasn't pointless anymore.
But sitting home all afternoon and evening on a Sunday because my 5 husband is tired and wants to "recharge" by being in the room with me without speaking...AHHH! I'll do it, because I know he needs it, but I hate it so much, and will probably excuse myself to cry with despair at some point during the day, and will start the week completely exhausted.
I'm the parent of a 7
20:35 rip 7w6
I am 7 , and i get bored easily
Are you reading The Elder Scrolls lore?