Watching you for the first time and everything you've said resonates with me. It literally was like talking to a mom friend. I'm going to do better for myself! Having 3 kids and putting myself last has affected me. Thanks for the chat 🤍
You speak to my soul. Thank you for doing this video! I am you. For me, it’s two kids and three years later and EVERY SINGLE THING you mentioned - from the feet to the lack of diet, sleep and working out resonates!! This video lets us all know that we are not alone in this daily mom grind.
This just reminded be that I haven't had a pedicure in YEARS. I only became a mom a year ago, but it's only "allowed" me to further neglect my self-care. I'm gonna start having monthly pedicure and coffee dates with myself. Thanks for the reminder :)
God bless you, Tina. My #1 suggestion to help mothers like ourselves balance our duties while keeping up with self-care is to have a routine that includes whatever personal self-care is a personal priority. For me, that means scheduling workout time, bedtimes for the kiddos so I can shower (uninterrupted) and care for myself, and budgeting time and $ for monthly massages. Some times things come up, however, keeping a routine and scheduling "me-time" is a priority. Working it in to the norm for myself and my family really helps my intentions become a reality.
I told my husband from the get go that I will never compromise my sleep. So I’ve stuck to it. I can’t function without my 7-8 hours so he does his part. Sleep is 🔑 for me and my health
Hi T. It's so important for us to make time for ourselves. And cut the guilt. Your an amazing mom and you are doing a great job. I saw this speech by oprah, talking about how you cant pour from am empty cup. Once your cup is overflowing, everything that's overflows is what you can give the people and loved ones around you. I have taken alot from that. Make filling your cup a priority at least once a day. I have also actively started correcting my thoughts when I catch myself being judgemental of anyone. Take it easy on yourself. Your kids will be even happier, seeing you happy and in a good place. AND hey! Stop guilting over Ajit in school. He's probably loving being out and around other kids. Let's all work to take care of ourselves and is it a stretch to say, take a tiny bit of the time you spend on your kids and make time out for you!!!! Love from South Africa!
This video completely speaks to me. The last 5 years I've felt the struggle with knowing I need to take care of myself but feeling guilty I''m not constantly with my kids when I do take some time for myself. I think your goals for a healthy balance life are wonderful and its also what I am aiming towards. And I will fully admit I have judged those moms who appear to have it all together but in a way been jealous I couldn't get myself together the same way they do!
This is me but I’m wrong if they can look fabulous they are working hard on themselves and proud of them I can’t . God they look fabulous beutiful and their children look happy . I clean my house I don’t cook all the time not a great cooker , but of course cook cuz I have kids and I make sure they have their right meals and snacks I do soooo much for my kids and try to give them love when they go to school I prepare them I wait for them to come back from school to give them a hug but at same time they see me tired sometimes and I love getting ready and looking nice but I dont know if I want to .. because I’m tired … or I prefer finishing something on my to do list but yet when I do my make up etc.. I feel myself I feel happy .. but man I’m tired .three years ago I was that girl fit “ putting myself first “ would get ready all the time . But I’m lost , I started counseling and I love my family but , I’m trapped in my own head … I wish I was a strong mind so I can just get back in track and take all the negativity I have in me out of me ..the only thing I want now is be the best version of myself and enjoy not only let them enjoy I want to enjoy sitting down in a meal I want to enjoy taking a shower I want to enjoy having my beutiful house I want to enjoy my life 😢❤
My husband an I are in the planning phases of starting a family and your videos are a realistic expression of what i can expect. Thank you....not as terrified but it will be ok!
@@adararelgnel2695 we had a baby in 2021, she is 16 months old. The 1st year was tough finding my feet. I had to make peace with the fact that life was different, the pandemic didnt make it easier. It is hard but i have a new respect for mothers.
hmm... I've always admired moms that look good and JUDGED moms that dont. that's because I always spend 10 to 20 minutes every morning dolling up while the kids play around me. so... hmm... maybe other moms have judged me? but I feel horrible on days that I'm too tired to look good. so I have to quickly take a shower and doll up asap. also I get my nails done every once a month and do my own pedicure (bought a skin scraper thingy that I use once a week after shower). and yes definitely agree that self care is important. it shows that we are internally happy and not depressed or anxious or just stressed out.
Agree that self care but I have to clarify that I don’t equate self care with looking good necessarily (I’m not saying that’s what you are saying...just wanted to clarify my stance)...and just as you have judged the not dressed up mom, they have judged you too lol x
Dang. I'm not even a mom but I really feel your struggle. I think it IS a good idea you sent Ajit to preschool early. Your intentions and priorities are in the right place. I can tell that you're doing your best and I'm rooting for you. You can do it 👏💪
I'm glad you posted this. I had my son at 19. I CHOSE to be a single mother because honestly I was being a bit selfish. After yearssssss of living like this I realized I was and had his father start raising him for a couple of years. It wasn't until my son wasn't with my that I realized just how much I never worried about me. I mean that same day someone asked me what I wanted to eat and all I could do was cry. I was so used to only worrying about my son that I couldn't even think of what *I* wanted for myself. We need to empower each other to remember self care is also part of being a mom!!
THANKS....im with you all the way....trying to keep kids healthy as far as meals go is SOOOO HARD...NOT IMPOSSIBLE....but i feel like im preparing the same thing over and over
Thank you for this video. I can really relate. I'm a stay at home mom of my 3 year old son and I have 100% neglected my self care. I see other moms that have more than 1 child and look on point! and I can't help but wonder where have I gone so wrong? I mean I should have the time to take care of myself with only one kid right? Sigh :( thanks for the real talk. Truly appreciate it.
I have cracked heels even though I have frequent pedicures. I was told that it's often an early sign of diabetes. Anyway 3 years later, I am in fact diabetic. Not saying that's the case though. Just telling my experience
I have been putting myself on the back burner for 15 years now and my body is suffering greatly for it. I'm learning it's stressful when you don't take time for yourself and I am now dealing with tension and berve pain. My kids are 15 and 19 but I'm prioritized them and my husband so long, I almost don't know how to get back to caring for me. I am that mom, gained the weight and at 38 feel like I'm way older.
I'm so mad at RUclips for waiting 4 years to put this video on my feed. I feel so very seen right now. Every time I get some time off (time to myself) I end up getting sick. Ugh!
I’ve been really rubbish at just trying to complete things. At the moment I’m putting on my face masks and I’m going to wash my hair and shave my legs. I have been on the sofa all day attempting to study but feeling the effects of my SAD. I don’t know if it’s worse cause of my bi polar but it’s just not good right now. I also have bad mother/wife anxiety going on. I wish I did more with my kids. I’m missing my son’s school disco on Friday and can’t take him trick or treating on Wednesday because of University. I fear that I’m being too selfish just now. Tbh when we do go out it’s full on let’s have fun time. Also if you want something for your feet after they heal get Lush’s Softy cream and a good pumice Stone. I had problems with a massive callous this summer that was getting really thick. Almost back to normal now. 💜
I’m hoping you are feeling better- SAD is the worst. I feel like I have it as well but never been diagnosed for it. Also mom guilt never leaves us...we always feel like we aren’t doing enough. Your kids are so proud of how hard you at working ❤️
MOM BOSS OF 3 thanks. It’s getting there. I’ve got a light box but I’ve had a migraine this week so no go. I don’t know why but it feels much better to hear it from another mom 😊
I'm not even a mom and I can relate to this... I work full time and also do other projects so I feel like I can't take care of myself enough! Need to get dental treatments done and need to visit a doctor! One thing: simple breathing exercises keep my sane mentally and physically :)
Same situation for 11 years now..(3kids) The way i cloth myself, care for skin, fysical health, mental health..all ZERO.. Last time i cut my hair was 1.5 years ago..do i want to? Hell yeah! Do i have the time to do little ME-TIME? No... Same cracked heels..etc...and working as a nurse 3 days in the week.. im tired as hell..but alllll for the kids! 😊 Have a husband though..but he is in the same position 🤣..
@@TheTinaSingh haha i read at midnight..i clean my house and do laundry at midnight..i color my gray hair ( have enoughhh of them at age 33) at night..everything i do.. is at night...go out with friends? Once a year..Go out with the hubby? Once in 2 years maybe...better times will come..i know for sure..its a sacrifice..
Ur absolutely ryt!!!!! We forget our existence as a human! We as mums need to take atleast an hour out a day for us, even if it's for a face mask while gazing into nowhere😎 by the time we've dealt with morning routine kids school drop off pick ups, after school clubs, come home, dinner, bedtime.......we mums are soooooo drained that we just wana drop into bed with our shoes on!!!! So..YES make time for ourselves!❤❤❤❤
Tina, please could you do a video about being jealous in a relationship. Partners liking other people’s pictures on social media and just feeling jealous and insecure about him having close female friends
I'm a mom of a 3 month old.. I have full time help here and I still have no time to even take a proper bath or even use the toilet... I sometimes wonder what going to happen to me in a few years...
I am marching and I will be marching and I always have been marching. And here is a thing I too did and will keep doing anything and everything for my girls. I guess I love more than I love myself. I have neglected 😩 myself too but now I am working out here and there. We as moms invest so much time in caring for others I know do. I want to be able to do things without feeling guilty. You know the “ mom guilt” I always say oh I will do it tomorrow! But now I tell it’s now or never. Plus I listen to prayers and do prayers myself which keeps me together mentally! 🙂 one day marmy we all mom will invest more time in to ourselves. 😉 ps. I have judged those moms who are more put together than I am. 🤫 😉
SLEEP EXERCISE "ME" TIME Hardest things in the world to do. I wake up before my family, I got to sleep after my family, I am responsible for 90% of indoor chores and all shopping. It's hard being CEO, CFO, PRES, VP, HR in the house. "Queen" is the more appropriate title because I do approve everything unless it's a surprise for me. But did I elect myself for this role? Am I being unfair to my family for not giving them more responsibilities? Am I the only wife/mom that does this? My husband and son are not spoiled... they are grateful for me and tell me that all the time. But I neglect myself to make others happy/comfortable. Should we consider this a flaw?
My daughter is pregnant with her second boy and her hair has been thinning and falling out since she had her last one . So I'm going to tell her to follow you. Just maybe she will make some mommy friends
I needed this so much. It’s taking me SO MUCH not to cry but thank you for sharing this. “You can have it all, just not all at the same time.”
Watching you for the first time and everything you've said resonates with me. It literally was like talking to a mom friend. I'm going to do better for myself! Having 3 kids and putting myself last has affected me. Thanks for the chat 🤍
You speak to my soul. Thank you for doing this video! I am you.
For me, it’s two kids and three years later and EVERY SINGLE THING you mentioned - from the feet to the lack of diet, sleep and working out resonates!! This video lets us all know that we are not alone in this daily mom grind.
You are certainly not alone! We need to change together! ❤️
This just reminded be that I haven't had a pedicure in YEARS. I only became a mom a year ago, but it's only "allowed" me to further neglect my self-care. I'm gonna start having monthly pedicure and coffee dates with myself. Thanks for the reminder :)
God bless you, Tina. My #1 suggestion to help mothers like ourselves balance our duties while keeping up with self-care is to have a routine that includes whatever personal self-care is a personal priority. For me, that means scheduling workout time, bedtimes for the kiddos so I can shower (uninterrupted) and care for myself, and budgeting time and $ for monthly massages. Some times things come up, however, keeping a routine and scheduling "me-time" is a priority. Working it in to the norm for myself and my family really helps my intentions become a reality.
I totally agree it has to be scheduled. I’ve failed at that!
I told my husband from the get go that I will never compromise my sleep. So I’ve stuck to it. I can’t function without my 7-8 hours so he does his part. Sleep is 🔑 for me and my health
Good for you! I’m trying to get back into sleeping well!
MOM BOSS OF 3 it makes all the difference. When I’ve slept enough I’m so relaxed that day. Saying that it’s 1am in the UK and I can’t sleep
Hi T. It's so important for us to make time for ourselves. And cut the guilt. Your an amazing mom and you are doing a great job. I saw this speech by oprah, talking about how you cant pour from am empty cup. Once your cup is overflowing, everything that's overflows is what you can give the people and loved ones around you. I have taken alot from that. Make filling your cup a priority at least once a day. I have also actively started correcting my thoughts when I catch myself being judgemental of anyone. Take it easy on yourself. Your kids will be even happier, seeing you happy and in a good place. AND hey! Stop guilting over Ajit in school. He's probably loving being out and around other kids. Let's all work to take care of ourselves and is it a stretch to say, take a tiny bit of the time you spend on your kids and make time out for you!!!! Love from South Africa!
You are so right! It’s hard to get out of that mom guilt
This video completely speaks to me. The last 5 years I've felt the struggle with knowing I need to take care of myself but feeling guilty I''m not constantly with my kids when I do take some time for myself. I think your goals for a healthy balance life are wonderful and its also what I am aiming towards. And I will fully admit I have judged those moms who appear to have it all together but in a way been jealous I couldn't get myself together the same way they do!
I totally agree - I’m like...wait, if she can look so cute at school drop off, why can’t I??
This is me but I’m wrong if they can look fabulous they are working hard on themselves and proud of them I can’t . God they look fabulous beutiful and their children look happy . I clean my house I don’t cook all the time not a great cooker , but of course cook cuz I have kids and I make sure they have their right meals and snacks I do soooo much for my kids and try to give them love when they go to school I prepare them I wait for them to come back from school to give them a hug but at same time they see me tired sometimes and I love getting ready and looking nice but I dont know if I want to .. because I’m tired … or I prefer finishing something on my to do list but yet when I do my make up etc.. I feel myself I feel happy .. but man I’m tired .three years ago I was that girl fit “ putting myself first “ would get ready all the time . But I’m lost , I started counseling and I love my family but , I’m trapped in my own head … I wish I was a strong mind so I can just get back in track and take all the negativity I have in me out of me ..the only thing I want now is be the best version of myself and enjoy not only let them enjoy I want to enjoy sitting down in a meal I want to enjoy taking a shower I want to enjoy having my beutiful house I want to enjoy my life 😢❤
Oh my goodness YES on pretty much everything you said. So relatable!
My husband an I are in the planning phases of starting a family and your videos are a realistic expression of what i can expect. Thank you....not as terrified but it will be ok!
Curious, how's it going?
@@adararelgnel2695 we had a baby in 2021, she is 16 months old. The 1st year was tough finding my feet. I had to make peace with the fact that life was different, the pandemic didnt make it easier. It is hard but i have a new respect for mothers.
hmm... I've always admired moms that look good and JUDGED moms that dont. that's because I always spend 10 to 20 minutes every morning dolling up while the kids play around me. so... hmm... maybe other moms have judged me? but I feel horrible on days that I'm too tired to look good. so I have to quickly take a shower and doll up asap. also I get my nails done every once a month and do my own pedicure (bought a skin scraper thingy that I use once a week after shower). and yes definitely agree that self care is important. it shows that we are internally happy and not depressed or anxious or just stressed out.
Agree that self care but I have to clarify that I don’t equate self care with looking good necessarily (I’m not saying that’s what you are saying...just wanted to clarify my stance)...and just as you have judged the not dressed up mom, they have judged you too lol x
Dang. I'm not even a mom but I really feel your struggle.
I think it IS a good idea you sent Ajit to preschool early. Your intentions and priorities are in the right place.
I can tell that you're doing your best and I'm rooting for you. You can do it 👏💪
Thank you so much Zey Zey!
xo
I'm glad you posted this. I had my son at 19. I CHOSE to be a single mother because honestly I was being a bit selfish. After yearssssss of living like this I realized I was and had his father start raising him for a couple of years. It wasn't until my son wasn't with my that I realized just how much I never worried about me.
I mean that same day someone asked me what I wanted to eat and all I could do was cry. I was so used to only worrying about my son that I couldn't even think of what *I* wanted for myself. We need to empower each other to remember self care is also part of being a mom!!
Very true - all you hear about is moms being selfless etc. we need to take care of ourselves too!
I have really neglected my sleep and exercise.
THANKS....im with you all the way....trying to keep kids healthy as far as meals go is SOOOO HARD...NOT IMPOSSIBLE....but i feel like im preparing the same thing over and over
Yes same!!! I feel like I should be making more variety etc but I suck lol
Thank you for this video. I can really relate. I'm a stay at home mom of my 3 year old son and I have 100% neglected my self care. I see other moms that have more than 1 child and look on point! and I can't help but wonder where have I gone so wrong? I mean I should have the time to take care of myself with only one kid right? Sigh :( thanks for the real talk. Truly appreciate it.
I’m so glad you felt connected to the conversation - I think we have all been there!
I have cracked heels even though I have frequent pedicures. I was told that it's often an early sign of diabetes. Anyway 3 years later, I am in fact diabetic. Not saying that's the case though. Just telling my experience
My blood sugar is pretty stable but that’s a good thing to know!
Your super amazing live watching u keep it up your a true star wow
We need more people like u give us motivation 👌👍
I have been putting myself on the back burner for 15 years now and my body is suffering greatly for it. I'm learning it's stressful when you don't take time for yourself and I am now dealing with tension and berve pain. My kids are 15 and 19 but I'm prioritized them and my husband so long, I almost don't know how to get back to caring for me. I am that mom, gained the weight and at 38 feel like I'm way older.
I hear you girl- I’m with you ❤️
I'm so mad at RUclips for waiting 4 years to put this video on my feed. I feel so very seen right now. Every time I get some time off (time to myself) I end up getting sick. Ugh!
I’ve been really rubbish at just trying to complete things. At the moment I’m putting on my face masks and I’m going to wash my hair and shave my legs. I have been on the sofa all day attempting to study but feeling the effects of my SAD. I don’t know if it’s worse cause of my bi polar but it’s just not good right now. I also have bad mother/wife anxiety going on. I wish I did more with my kids. I’m missing my son’s school disco on Friday and can’t take him trick or treating on Wednesday because of University. I fear that I’m being too selfish just now. Tbh when we do go out it’s full on let’s have fun time. Also if you want something for your feet after they heal get Lush’s Softy cream and a good pumice Stone. I had problems with a massive callous this summer that was getting really thick. Almost back to normal now. 💜
I’m hoping you are feeling better- SAD is the worst. I feel like I have it as well but never been diagnosed for it. Also mom guilt never leaves us...we always feel like we aren’t doing enough. Your kids are so proud of how hard you at working ❤️
MOM BOSS OF 3 thanks. It’s getting there. I’ve got a light box but I’ve had a migraine this week so no go. I don’t know why but it feels much better to hear it from another mom 😊
I'm not even a mom and I can relate to this... I work full time and also do other projects so I feel like I can't take care of myself enough! Need to get dental treatments done and need to visit a doctor! One thing: simple breathing exercises keep my sane mentally and physically :)
Same situation for 11 years now..(3kids)
The way i cloth myself, care for skin, fysical health, mental health..all ZERO..
Last time i cut my hair was 1.5 years ago..do i want to? Hell yeah! Do i have the time to do little ME-TIME? No...
Same cracked heels..etc...and working as a nurse 3 days in the week.. im tired as hell..but alllll for the kids! 😊 Have a husband though..but he is in the same position 🤣..
You do what you have to do right? Do you take time to do something that you enjoy? Like read, bake, garden, time with friends?
@@TheTinaSingh haha i read at midnight..i clean my house and do laundry at midnight..i color my gray hair ( have enoughhh of them at age 33) at night..everything i do..
is at night...go out with friends? Once a year..Go out with the hubby? Once in 2 years maybe...better times will come..i know for sure..its a sacrifice..
Ur absolutely ryt!!!!! We forget our existence as a human! We as mums need to take atleast an hour out a day for us, even if it's for a face mask while gazing into nowhere😎 by the time we've dealt with morning routine kids school drop off pick ups, after school clubs, come home, dinner, bedtime.......we mums are soooooo drained that we just wana drop into bed with our shoes on!!!! So..YES make time for ourselves!❤❤❤❤
Tina, please could you do a video about being jealous in a relationship. Partners liking other people’s pictures on social media and just feeling jealous and insecure about him having close female friends
this is an interesting topic! I'll keep it in mind when planning content and see if I can make it work somewhere!
I'm a mom of a 3 month old.. I have full time help here and I still have no time to even take a proper bath or even use the toilet... I sometimes wonder what going to happen to me in a few years...
Wait... I'm sorry, but HOW? are you ill?
I am marching and I will be marching and I always have been marching. And here is a thing I too did and will keep doing anything and everything for my girls. I guess I love more than I love myself. I have neglected 😩 myself too but now I am working out here and there. We as moms invest so much time in caring for others I know do. I want to be able to do things without feeling guilty. You know the “ mom guilt” I always say oh I will do it tomorrow! But now I tell it’s now or never. Plus I listen to prayers and do prayers myself which keeps me together mentally! 🙂 one day marmy we all mom will invest more time in to ourselves. 😉 ps. I have judged those moms who are more put together than I am. 🤫 😉
We have all judged them!! I like the now or never thing...I always feel like I can do things later lol
I can so relate
SLEEP
EXERCISE
"ME" TIME
Hardest things in the world to do. I wake up before my family, I got to sleep after my family, I am responsible for 90% of indoor chores and all shopping. It's hard being CEO, CFO, PRES, VP, HR in the house. "Queen" is the more appropriate title because I do approve everything unless it's a surprise for me.
But did I elect myself for this role? Am I being unfair to my family for not giving them more responsibilities? Am I the only wife/mom that does this? My husband and son are not spoiled... they are grateful for me and tell me that all the time. But I neglect myself to make others happy/comfortable. Should we consider this a flaw?
All good questions to ask...and clearly, you aren’t the only one!
@@TheTinaSingh ❤ girl, don't I know it 😳
My daughter is pregnant with her second boy and her hair has been thinning and falling out since she had her last one . So I'm going to tell her to follow you. Just maybe she will make some mommy friends
Do you & your family celebrate Diwali? If not, why so?
I have 3 girls exact same ages... lol
❤❤🤗
FIRSTTTTTT
*big hug*